Scenes from a post office

In case you need to be bored...

So on Tuesday I left work early 'cause I had to haul ass to the dentist to pick up my new retainer (in case anyone cares, they removed the bottom wire that's been attached to my teeth since I was 15 so that i could get a retainer that i can take in/out). When that was done, i managed to get out in time to swing by the post office...

See my ghetto mailbox doesn't accept my key anymore, which is a pain in the ass because anything that involves government workers is bound to be a hassle. Fortunately my actual mailman is awesome, but that doesn't make going to the post office any less painful. On Saturday I went and bitched about the key not working anymore, and i shelled out $30 to get it replaced. And they said they'd call me when it was ready. Which i took to assume, they'll never call me.

After the dentist i took it upon myself to find out the status of the key situation, and the lady couldn't find ANY record of anything. And she kept insisting that i had put something in the "special instructions" box, which I didn't, all I did was fill out my address and that's IT. I didn't even know there WAS a "special instructions" box.

So while she's looking in the back for the status, the counter guy calls the next number and this wannabe rapper guy comes up to the counter saying he's picking up a package, but he wants to know who it's from because if it's from his ex girlfriend, he wants nothing to do with it.

After awhile of standing around, I asked him why he didn't want the package. He said that it was BAD and that there's nothing good that could be in there. I asked "what if there's money?" and eh said "nooo...it's paperwork that she wants me to sign".

Me: "Paperwork?"
Him: "yeah. She's a singer and wants me to sign something saying i'm not goign to talk sh*t about her now that we've broken up"
Me: "shouldn't she have asked for that when you started going out, not when it ended?"
Him: "you'd think. We only went out a month and a half and she keeps threatening to get her lawyers after me."

Me: "Is she famous? Have i heard of her?"
Him: "She's one of the top singers on MySpace...she's the #2 most famous chick on there..."
Me: "Second to Tila Tequila?"
Him: "Yeah. ((Insert name))"
Me: ((shrugs)) Note: I tried to do a search for the top females on myspace and other than Tila, i couldn't find any name resembling the one he said. So Miss Thang is full of crap.
Him: ((shrugs back at me))

Then there was a long pause...while we're still waiting for our stuff...

Me: "You didn't have any idea that she was psycho? Was she hot?"
Him: "yeah, but hot doesn't matter. Personality matters" yeah right "It doesn't matter how hot you are if you've got a bad personality. She was 30 and crazy"
Me: "well if she's hot and 30 and a singer, then you had to figure something was wrong...right?"
Him: "yeah. Plus she says I owe her money for a gift. When we were dating she took some photos 'cause she's a photographer for my album cover, and now that we're broken up she says I owe her"
Me: "how much?"
Him: "Probably over a grand"
me: "Is she really going to pursue it? The cost of a lawyer would be more expensive than that..."

Him: "Well she's got a contract so the recording company can send lawyers after me, she wouldn't pay"
Me: "oh, trust me, she'll end up paying. You didn't sign anything?"
Him: "Nope, no contract. But she says it was an oral agreement"
Me: "Oral agreeements are highly overrated."

Then he asked me about my phone (EnV) and started saying how he wanted an iPhone, I told him that unless you're willing to pay for all the services it's kind of a ripoff, then he got his package (not from teh exgirlfriend), and he went on his merry way.

And that folks, is a Scene From a Post Office.