Movie Reviews

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Everyone kept telling me how fantastic this movie was, yadda yadda. So my standards were somewhat high, although not overly high because I wasn't enthusiastic about seeing it even when it was in the theaters.



It's a pretty decent movie if you can tolerate that it stars a snide cocky red car...played by snide cocky Owen Wilson. After awhile, his "sneering" voice grated my nerves.



The major redeeming quality was the little movie reel at the end of the credits with John Ratzenberger pointing out how they keep re-using the same (i.e. HIS) voice in every Disney movie.

XMen 3: The Last Stand



Background history:

1. Yes, I've read the comics.



2. I've loved XMen (mostly the cartoons) since I was 15, when I babysat for kids that watched it nonstop.



3. Jean Grey annoyed me then, and still annoys me now. "Oh, i have a headache, now i'm going to faint".



4. Even more than my hatred for Jean Grey is the stupid Phoenix plotline from the comics/cartoons.



I thought XMen 1 was okay...It didn't blow me away, mostly because Rogue is supposed to be a sassy sexy chick and Anna Paquin is too young and too ugly to play her. And because Halle Barry is SOOO not Storm...Storm would be better played by Ima'an or someone more regal. And Jean Grey...i can't stand Famke Janssen, she should be played by Angie Everheart or something. Other than Professor X, Magneto, and Wolverine, i really wasnt' impressed with their casting selection.



XMen 2 annoyed me, because they can't get Storm's hair to look half decent, because Rogue STILL bugged me, becuase I didn't like that asian chick with the same adamantium that wolverine has...I don't like when movies get overly cliche, like "oh gee we need a hot asian chick who can kick ass. See if Lucy Liu is available".



Xmen 3...well...any movie that features Jean Grey prominantly is enough to make me gouge my eyes out.



In this movie, the Phoenix takes over Jean Grey and everyone's gotta stop it. First off, they go from one scene in complete daylight to the next one being nighttime...uhhh did the time change within a split second?



Secondly, Magneto moves the Golden Gate bridge over to Alcatraz. HELLO...it's a suspension bridge...if you rip it it from the sides it's not going to stay up on it's own anymore!

Thirdly, I fail to believe the government would use Alcatraz...not just because it's a historical landmark, but because the building is decrepit and falling apart and you can't exactly modernize it asap.



Fourthly...and big fourthly...when the Phoenix gets pissed she starts floating (why? Why float?) and everything starts to break and there's chaos and lots of wind and Wolverine has to get to her in time before the whole world is torn to shreds. Why do evil characters automatically destroy stuff? Who cares? Let her destroy earth, now where is she gonna live and get her hair done and find her food? Why does she have to BREAK STUFF just 'cause she's powerful? It just seems pointless.



Anyway, if you can get over your hatred for Jean Grey (as clearly I can't), the movie is entertaining but riddled with flaws.



The Benchwarmers



Every now and then you need a no-brainer movie featuring tons of ex-SNL cast members.

Out of all the movies I saw this past weekend, this one was probably the best. Maybe becuase I just wanted some cheesy, low grade humor. The scene stealer was Nick Swardson as David Spade's brother Howie...they could make a movie just on him (he was terrified of the sun).



The only odd things were to see Jon Heder in an SNL movie (he sort of sticks out a bit), and that Rob Schneider plays a "cool" guy (when is he cool?! NEVER!). But overall, it was a pretty funny and entertaining movie.



Yeah, not the greatest reviews, but that's my summary so suck it.