Let me preface this by saying: I'm okay with contrived movies as long as it's not hiding behind being contrived and still has great moments in it. Like The Wedding Singer. Boy meets girl. Girl is engaged to prick. Girl falls for Boy. When Girl goes to get Boy, she thinks he's not available. When Boy goes to find Girl, he finds out she's off to get married. Hilarity ensues and good times were had by all.
Sadly, this movie is not like that. AT ALL.
Diane Keaton is a meddlesome mother who wants to find a nice guy for her quirky-yet-adorably-cute-yet-sooo-annoying-and-clumsy daughter Mandy Moore. Now right there this movie would be believable if the daughter couldn't stand being around her mother. But Mandy Moore and her 2 sisters are so close with their mom they actually pick up the phone when they're having sex with dudes and what not. WTF.
Are you having sex right now missy? Oh okay. Just don't do that dorky laugh. You know the one.
There's a scene where Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore share a touching moment where Mom tells Daughter that she's never had an orgasm because their prick of a father didn't have time to uhhh look out for her needs. And Mandy feels sooo sad for her mom and suddenly has a moment of realization that she understands where her mom is coming from.
Time for some bonding. Daughter, tell your MOmmy what an orgasm feels like.
Uhh...no. I don't know about any of you, but i really don't CARE if my mom ever had an orgasm. In fact, I think we'd all like to believe that our moms followed through with Immaculate Conception. The #1 way to survive in life is to develop the attitude that parents NEVER have sex. EVERRRRR.
And then there's the guys in the movie. The struggling single father guitar guy vs. the successful but boring architect. We're supposed to all love the single father, right? Ummm...no. I'd be like "WTF you have a kid?! Why didn't you tell me? And where's the baby mama? And I can't sleep with you when your kid and your DAD all live under the same roof, that's just creepy"...whereas we're supposed to think the Architect is a jerk because he flipped on Mandy Moore for breaking his grandmother's antique candleholder...effing right, i'd be pissed too. And he apologized later and gave her another family antique. HELL YEAH.
Somewhere in the middle of the movie for no apparent reason there's a music montage of Mandy Moore and Diane Keaton rearranging furniture. That's the biggest waste of 6 minutes that I'll never get back (along with the rest of the movie). What was the point of that? To show how scatterbrained they are? Trust me, you drilled that into the audience every SECOND.
There's another scene where Diane Keaton is stalking her daughter on a date in her car and she uses her car's navigation system...now this actress was great when she freaked out in First Wives Club. Not so great in this movie. She just yells and rants at the GPS and starts kicking the GPS while driving. WHO DOES THAT?! It was just irritating, if you're too stupid by now to figure out how your GPS works, don't use it.
Oh, plus her computer froze up when she accidentally landed on a porn site. Let's go through the flaws with this...odds are, if you're computer's freezing up, you're not going to still get streaming video coming in perfectly. Secondly, she runs to the phone to call Gateway's tech support (nice plug for them) instead of...just turning off the computer? Unplugging it? Thirdly, she got on the phone with the help IMMEDIATELY. (once again, nice plug). What, no automated machine system? No waiting on hold for half an hour? She called and within seconds got someone?! I can't even get that when I call for pizza.
I know it seems like i'm nitpicking at little details, but it's these inconsistencies and randomness and unbelievable moments that made this movie brutal. Who discusses with their mom and sisters, in a shoe store, who holds the record for the most orgasms during a given night of sex?!
Needless to say, this movie could have been really cute and funny. It turned out to be boring, unfunny, and a complete waste of time. Dont even bother renting it. And if someone gives it to you on DVD as a gift, assume they're just regifting it.
Another fabulous movie moment: the girls all singing together at the end when they're all so very, very happy. Happy enough to sing. Which is clearly them lip syncing. I'm guessing Mandy Moore is the only one who's lip syncing to the sound of her own voice.
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