Stella....STELLLLLLLLAAAA...

Disclaimer: the following post is not about what a guy SHOULD know...it's about what he MUST know. And by "must know", I mean: "must know in order to date a chick so that her friends don't say dang girl, he doesn't know how to do X, Y, Z? Dump his ass". Not "must know in order to succeed in life" or something retarded like that. So yes, a guy should/must know say how to change an innertube on his non-mountain bike...but that's not exactly make-or-break criteria when it comes to dating a guy.

So Carrie found this article about 25 things every guy should know. Figured...it was time for my commentary.

1. Patch a Radiator Hose
Steam hissing from a ruptured radiator hose? Here's a relatively easy, temporary fix with duct tape.

I dont' know about that one...maybe because it's never come up in my life, so why would a dude ever need to do this? Where is the radiator hose? or maybe because I'm a chick I'm clueless about the importance of this.

2. Protect Your Computer
Viruses and spyware can unleash a host of evils upon your PC, ranging from annoying pop-ups to a zombie system takeover.

This isn't what a guy should know how to do...it's what a guy SHOULD do. And woman. I think this list needs to narrow down what a guy MUST know (which in turn is what a woman SHOULD know...but doesn't need to).

3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized
When you come upon a capsized boat, approach with caution: The cause of the accident or debris in the water could render you a victim as well.


Hmmm, I guess it's good if you're with a friend...but I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he didn't know how to do this.

4. Frame a Wall
It's the basic partition — an interior, non-load-bearing wall with a door opening. Here's how to frame it, so you can divide your basement into a really useful storage area and a totally indulgent man space — say, a big-screen sports den.

I'll worry about it when I live in a place where this could be an option. If you live in a big city (i.e. where you rent), i wouldn't hold it against a guy if he didn't know how to do that.

5. Retouch Digital Photos
Some shots are too flawed to fix with a click on autocorrect. Here's how to perform surgery on digital images with nearly any photo-editing software.

I disagree. Guys dont' give a crap about how they look in pictures (well, enough to retouch it). Guys should know how to screw around with Photoshop to put their friends faces on someone else's body as a joke...but not to fix flaws. If anything, that's something we chicks should know.

6. Back Up a Trailer
If you're doing this without a spotter, put your left hand at six o'clock on the steering wheel, and drape your right hand over the seatback. As you back up, move your steering hand in the direction you want the trailer to go.

Define "trailer"...like anything with a box with wheels attached to it? Like a U-Haul or a camper thing? Yeah, dude should know how to drive one of those things. Short of flying ap lane, guys should know how to drive all other vehicles.

7. Build a Campfire

Obviously. This is a necessity. If a guy can't build fire, get rid of him. In this day and age, that means if a guy cant' figure out how to turn onthe BBQ. Call me shallow, i don't care, but I once had to show a guy how to turn on a propane BBQ and clearly his balls fell off in the process.

8. Fix a Dead Outlet
If the lamp goes out, but the bulb's not fried, it's time to check the outlet. Once you turn off the breaker, here's how to fix the usual suspects.

True dat.

9. Navigate with a Map and Compass
Though GPS may seem ubiquitous, it doesn't work everywhere. Mountains and dense tree cover can knock out sat signals — and batteries can die. Here's how to roam the backcountry with a compass and topo map.

Hmmm, this would imply that you're not near civilization. Which means you're camping. In true nature (notl ike nature where your car is right next to your tent). So if you're a chick like me and you don't care about nature, then you don't need to worry if the dude can do this.

10. Use a Torque Wrench
Using a torque wrench the wrong way leads to incorrectly tightened fasteners, which can spell trouble for your machinery.

I have no idea what a torque wrench is so I can't gauge if it's important for a guy to know how to use it. Oh wait, I looked it up:

How can you screw up using one of those things?!

11. Sharpen a Knife
A knife may be the most elemental of all human tools — but only if it's sharp.

Hmmm...yeah that sounds about right. Honing is important to knife maintenance, and using one of those sharpening tools from Target is gonna jack up yer knife. I approve.

12. Perform CPR
Most people have an idea of how to perform cardio­pulmonary resuscitation (CPR) on a person whose heart has stopped, but you may not have taken a course in years.

Another thing that's more like guys (and women) SHOULD know. Would I think less of a guy if he didn't know this? Nope. But it's definitely valuable info nonetheless.

13. Fillet a Fish
Set the scene with a flat surface and an appropriate knife — any long, thin, flexible and sharp blade will do, but for larger fish you might need a stiffer blade. Make your first cut behind the pectoral fin or gill cover, angling the tip of the knife slightly toward the head.

I can't stand fish. I don't want to be around a dude to see if he's mastered this skill. This isn't effing Iron Chef.

14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
Although there isn't much you can do when your car is pirouetting out of control, you can maneuver out of two basic types of skids before things get messy.

PLEASE! If you've lived anywhere with snow then this is a given. If you don't know how to do this,you'd be dead.

15. Get a Car Unstuck
When you're stuck, don't gun the engine to get out — the tires will only dig in deeper.

See #14. Or in my case, just get a boatload of people to help push.

16. Back Up Data
Don't put off backing up your files until it's too late.

Another "should do" as opposed to "must know"...this isn't a question of a dude's manliness...this is a question of his ability to think ahead, think strategically, and be responsible for his crap.

17. Paint a Room
Good paint jobs start before the first can of paint is opened.

How big of a moron are you if you can't prep and paint a room?

18. Mix Concrete
If you're going to use more than a cubic yard of concrete — a 9 x 9-ft. pad, 4 in. thick — call a Redi-Mix vendor.

I can't imagine a situation where I would need someone to mix concrete for me, unless it's for a major home renovation that involved hiring a dude to do it for me.

19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle

Clean a what now?!

20. Change Oil and Filter

Every 3000 miles you can commune with your car when you change the oil.

HIGHLY agree with this one. This should be #2 on the list after how to make a fire.

21. Hook Up an HDTV

Well...I have an HDTV...but I don't subscribe to it...so if it's a question of hooking up tv, obviously. How hard can it be to set up an HD receiver with a tv?

22. Bleed Brakes
When the brake pedal starts to feel spongy, it's time to bleed your brakes.

No idea what this is, but it's your brakes so it seems like it's something a dude should know how to do. However this will never come up in conversation, so trying to test a guy's knowledge on this is a bit sketchy.

23. Paddle a Canoe

Would require caring about nature.

24. Fix a Bike Flat

WRONG! This should NOT be on the list. If a guy is fixing a flat it means he's back home, and if your'e back home and you're so desperate to FIX the tire rather than buy a new one, then you've got issues that go beyond what any chick would want to deal with. And if you've got like $5000 tires on your bike...well then your name is Lance Armstrong and you and your one ball can suck it.

25. Extend Your Wireless Network
You've got a laptop that, ideally, you'd like to use anywhere in your house. But the strength of your wireless Internet fades between floors and behind thick walls.

I think anyone with a pulse should know how to do this, not just dudes.



This list is missing something VERY important: a guy NEEDS to know how to drive stick. That's a non-issue. I don't care if he'll never own a car with manual transmission...he better still know how to drive one. Or else. Or else what? Exactly.