Pre Birthday Panic

Just a few random thoughts for today.

So my birthday is tomorrow, and I"m having a FREAK OUT about my age. Yadda yadda, 28 isn't that old..oh yeah mother effer? Ask a 16 year old if that's old.

Exactly.

And this whole thing about Peter Jennings dying...I mean, i never once saw him on the news but he was 67 years old.

I'm not scheduled to retire until 67.5

Yeah yeah he smoked, whatever, I eat fries and heart disease runs in my family. Point is, WHY am I giving so much into my retirement when there's a chance i might never GET to retirement?

Who's the einstein that thought 67.5 would be a good retirement age!?! Mother effer, i'll tell you a good age....THIRTY! In face, didn't most women not last till that age 'cause they died during childbirth?! SEE I should retire BEFORE having kids!

You wanna know how frickin' old i feel? I'm actually justifying wearing padded push up bras. I've always been kind of against them...not sure why, i guess because i feel like it's overtly obvious that my boobs didn't inflate overnight.

Anyway but now i feel like i gotta step up my "game"...what game, i don't know so don't ask, but in general i need to start primping more...because i have to work harder to look semi-decent.

And then i think...you know, when you're like over 55ish...no amount of makeup is gonnah elp you. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't. It's like when your grandmother fussed about her lipstick. WEll that's great granny, but your rouge won't hide the BILLIONS OF WRINKLES AND SPEED OF LARD WALK....oh the humanity.

I have great respect for old people...in fact, i think the older you are the younger you should look, because youv'e earned it. But really now, when you're an old lady...heck, it's practically not even worth it to dye your hair, because it's all short and frizzy and pouffy and thin anyway.

OMG just shoot me now. Really.

Hyperventilating.