It's Animal Cruelty/Human Violence Awareness Week

Wow, I've seen it all now...Kiss is launching their own perfume line for men AND women.

Talk about missing your marketing opportunity by around 20 years....

So just some random thoughts for today.

Cruises
Lol Marlene...Kraig and I have done a cruise, I'm not a big fan of them...I actually had a massive freak out last time we went on one (to the Bahamas) because I realized that I wanted to get off the ship but I couldn't...all that nothingness around me...I just kept saying "I want to get off. I want off. I can't get off. But i wan't off."...i mean, it wasn't that big of a deal but it suddenly hit me that I couldn't just walk off and that really bugged me (kindo f pathetic considering my dad works for the Coast Guard and I should be used to large boats)...I find them to be great for old people who like nothing better to do than to sit around and eat all day (i think we were the youngest ones there!)...

Jeans

So I was at the post office the other day for what seemed like forever...and this dude at the counter was kind of cute, and i'm scoping him out ('cause what else do you have to do when you're stuck in an effing post office) until I looked at his jeans...

The back pockets were WAY too big and went way too low...they practically went to the back fo his knees. it looked bizarre. Plus they weren't all hip-hop style..these were normal Gap-looking-type jeans.

So after doing an extremely informal poll, I realized (what we obviously already knew but I still wanted to confirm): girls take HUGE importance on what back pockets look like on their jeans...and guys say "there's pockets back there?"...

Guys, FYI...girls take their back pockets VERY seriously. Too small and your ass looks huge. Too big and your butt looks weird. Place too low and your ass looks droopy. Too high up and your butt cheeks look funny. Pocket placement is just as important as fit when it comes to jeans. And all chicks know this.

Bra shopping
So I had to go to Williams Sonoma yesterday to finish up some wedding shopping for a certian coworker, and i had time to kill while they wrapped it so I went to Victoria's Secret to finally use the gift card that's been burning a hole in my wallet.

I officially have the worst boobs EVER. My body is SO deformed. WTF. Personally i'm not a big fan of VS bras anyway, but I needed a new strapless one and I didn't want that gift card to keep weighing down my wallet (if you've seen my wallet, you'd know what I mean).

Heck, I even had to get the girl to measure me. MEASURE ME. WTF. Well okay I didn't get her to measure the cup (because their effing cup sizes are inconsistent per bra)...but apparently i'm smaller than I thought I was which, for any guys reading this, is like finding out your man meat is really smaller than you thought it was. I wanted to DIE.

Okay maybe not die...but I certainly wanted to suck the fat out of my thighs and shove them in my boobs....grumble. I need to up the boob intensity!

Real World: KEy West
This year's token "meathead frat boy" is my BOY! I dig this guy. My heart melted when he picked up Paula from the floor and tucked her in bed...chicks are suckers for that kind of thing. Anything where you do the "carrying her in the arms" move is always brownie points...it helps if the house is on fire and you're carrying her out...

(I have this thing about being able to be carried out of a burning building. Don't ask. It's up there with dudes looking good when they chop wood. With their shirts off).

Confession
Yes I'll probably be oneo f the stupid chicks that goes to see Lindsay Lohan's next movie. Suck it.

Things you learn about your spouse....

I was craving Captain Crunch the other day so i had it in the pantry and Kraig was like "so what's with the captain crunch?"
Me: "I was craving it"
Him: "Since when do you eat Captain Crunch"?

OH
MY
GOD

I went through at least 2 years of my life where you could have stabbed me and Captain Crunch would have oozed out of my gut. I LOVE CAPTAIN CRUNCH! It's always amazing when you learn (or edumacate) your spouse on something that is such common knowledge...

I need a manicure and pedicure
Okay no real thought on that. That's just a note to self that i gotta do that tonight.

The Adam Corolla Show
So this morning on the Adam Corolla show they were talking about how the hottest chicks are in commercials right now...forget girls like Eva Longoria or Sarah Michelle Gellar that always seem to be on Top 100 lists.

One dude and called in saying the Milky Way girl was hot (the one where the guy is in his car and his chocolate bar is talking to him)...but Adam said the hottest was the Overstock.com chick, which cracks me up because to me she seems so...blah.

ANYWAY the pointo f this story is that her name is Sabina and she's from Germany...I almost didn't get out of my car this morning because I was so blown away by hearing my name repeated over and over on the radio. Geezus, my mother in law sometimes still calls me "Sabrina" so to hear a RADIO SHOW say "Sabina is so hot"...i was in heaven! I'm amazed even Adam got the name right.

And that folks...

Is the end of today's random babble. I'm off to see Henry!