Can't sleep

It's 1:03am, can't sleep...my cat Marmalade is desperately trying to jump on the keyboard (she's gotten as far as my lap and is rubbing her nose alllll over me...um yeah my cat drools).

I know this is the most chick-ish thing I can say, but...I really want to see the new Reese Witherspoon movie.

I can't imagine anyone else actually wanting to see that movie so I guess i'll have to Netflix it later.

I don't have a romantic bone in my body not anymore anyway ...but every now and then, a girl's gotta see a movie that makes her heart skip a beat, makes her hold her breathe, makes her sigh in relief when the boy gets the girl.

Speaking of gender politics...

My friends and I are constantly debating the whole He's Just Not That Into You stuff. And other guy-related issues. And here's what it generally comes down to...

Guys have NO IDEA how much power they have over us. And don't even think for a second that chicks have the same power back...maybe initially, but then once you get past that 3-month phase and you start to see your woman without makeup (or shaved legs) on a regular basis...um yeah there's no hold.

We analyze the hell out of men. When we like a guy, we wonder his every move...or lack of moves... we wonder what phone calls mean, what emails mean...what LACK of emails mean...what does it mean when a guy gets his gf a pair of sunglasses for her birthday (that she didn't want, but he thought she needed?)...what does it mean when a guy gives a motion detector?! What does it mean when a guy says he wants more "open communication" but refuses to do anything other than texting?!

I'd like to think that at my age (yes, my old age), I know guys pretty well. I know that you should NOT ever let him know 99% of your fears, your paranoias...that doing "the talk" is the kiss of death...that have to bite that bullet and try to be the "cool girl" with things that freak the hell out of you ("oh honey, you want to go away to vegas for a bachelor party? And you plan on going to every strip joint? Have loads of fun and I'll see you when you get back!" really means "oh dear GOD i'm going to be sick, i'm going to throw up, he's going to sleep with a whore and get some sick STD and then I'm going to get that sick STD but i don't want to look like i'm clingy or needy so i'll act like i'm cool with it even though i'll eat ice cream the entire time he's gone")...

Do chicks know better than to get all psycho? Of course we do. But when we're actually thrown into the pit...estrogen, adrenaline, fear, lust, and the potential for new love make us act like a bunch of loons as the "logic chip" somehow gets deactivated.

Onto other topics...

I went to the library today (yes, i love the library...my parents actually THREW OUT our tv, like physically took it and threw it on concrete...we had no TV for the longest time which is another post for another time so books were my only salvation for the longest time which is a damn good thing because my brain would have turned to mush, much like it has now) and picked up the following magazines:
- Cosmo
- Glamour
- InStyle
- Self
- Forbes
- Smart Money
- Psychology Today

Which really would make you think i'm a beauty and fashion-obsessed chick who works out, worries about money, and wants to know the reason for all of the above traits. Yeah i'm pretty 2D.

I bought a pair of knee-high boots today, not sure if i'm keeping them. I can talk myself out of ANY purchase.

Also bought a pair of relatively low jeans, but they made my butt look half decent, although now i'll have to figure out what shirt i can wear that's long enough so that i don't look like some 15 year old teenie bopper showing her gut to work (which wouldn't be so bad if my gut wasn't so effing brutal!)

Is it safe to say that i've got excessive anxiety at 1:23am? Absolutely. My brain is always running at a mile a minute, but when I can't sleep (probably from that 2 hour nap today) it's on hyperdrive...if I don't give myself an ulcer I'll certainly have a heart attack from the panic attack.