You know how sometimes you wake up and you think "ugh my hair looks like crap today" or "ugh my skin looks like crap today"...
Today is "ugh...I LOOK LIKE CRAP TODAY" day. I look like I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
I think it's safe to say that even when I bowl like a 5 year old kid....when I'm drinking...I can't bowl worth sheeat. Fabulous. Just effing fabulous.
Couldn't find a place to eat last night after (Nicole, now i want Pasta Pomodoro), so I just went home and then went to the gym at around 10:30 (saw the second half of Boston Legal).
Saw this online:
I hate this show, but I want James Spader to do naughty, naughty things to me.
Well I love the show, and really the person means the character Alan Shore...and yes, I think we all agree that we want Alan Shore to do his nastiest to us.
Speaking of nasty...I was running now on my magazine selections at the gym, which meant that I was forced to bring some of the men's magazines we get (why do we have a subscription to FHM, Stuff, Maxim, and Esquire when I'm the one who reads them all?!), so I brought the past 2 months' of Esquire with me to read.
So I read the following, and it made me think...
Is there any way to increase the volume of my ejaculate?
I'm sorry but no pill, shake, or dietary modifications will incrase the volume of your ejaculate, and if anyone tells your different, it's time ot sit down and really reassess that friendship. Most men product between 2.5 and 5 cc's per shot, which is equal to roughly a tablespoon and has a street value of about thirty dollars. Your measure is predetermined by God Himself and inscribed in the Book of LIfe next to your favorite ice cream. Yes, it is possible to achieve your personal most through abstinence, but dont' think you can save up enough to rewallpaper the Palace at Versailles or anything. After about 3 days, the fluid starts to get reabsorbed by the body, where it grows irritable and loses interest in activities it used to enjoy. Eventually, you'll forget it was ever there.
So this is interesting for a multiple of reasons:
1. I said yesterday that you get $20 for making a donation to the sperm bank. I see the rate has increased to $30. My bad.
2. I really did always think that if a guy drank more fluids, then he would shoot out more 'cause he's just got more hydration...like basically giving those swimmers a bigger pool to hang out in.
3. It only recently came to my attention that that stuff gets reabsorbed by the body. I thought it was a bunch of BS. I always thought that unless it gets shot back out, it goes back to whatever reservoir/baggie that's holding it within the male body until the next time round. Like let's say you get it on with a chick but you don't finish...well then I thought that went back and then say two days later you get it on again...well then the same sperm produced 2 days previous is what gets shot out,but i guess that wouldn't be too good if say you didn't get your rocks off for like 10 years or something.
Fascinating stuff.
As usual, the cats woke me up at an unGodly hour...when I go away anywhere I swear, I miss my cats so much it aches. I really do. The drive back always has me jumping up and down becuase I want nothing more than to run through the doors and snuggle Marmalade (which she hates). Like, it makes me sick how much i miss her. She's my buddy.
that being said....you have NO IDEA how much i'm looking forward to SLEEPING IN this weekend. This morning, it's all i could think about at Stash's tail kept flicking me in the effing face. yeah. You're cute. I know. get your fur out of my face and stop purring so damn loud and no that does NOT mean you can go in the boxspring and claw it up for hours.
I can't believe I missed Real World. Sigh.
Tonight's tv lineup: America's Next Top Model and Lost....plus I gotta catch up on the stuff I recorded.... OMG i love tv.
Today's song of the day: Listen to Your Heart by DHT...I hate that version, old skool Roxette is where it's at, but it's always on the radio so I might as well make it a song of the day.
Unrelated note: I was going to end the blog here, but my boss pointed out how no one was here because Barranca had serious traffic issues (I went on Alton, because I stopped to get a bagel, so I had no idea), and I knew that meant that everyone would come in and bitch and gripe and tell me all about it...I kid you not, for 10 minutes straight 3 women here were yakking about the cross streets they took...i'm going to ram my pen in my eye there's nothing more annoying than women either laughing or blabbering on about somethig or other. WOMEN ARE SO G*DDAMN ANNOYING!!!
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