So my head is all cloudy and i've got 4 major things that need to be done at work today so I need to clear my head before i can actually THINK about work.

I burned my hand when I put my hot water down for my Tazo tea...mother effer hurts like a bitch. Add to that that somehow a dial on the bbq was left on ("somehow"...) and stupid me, when i saw the knob smoking (well the knob actually melted off and the metal stub was left), i touched the metal with my finger...so THAT hurt like a bitch...

I'm falling apart I tell you.

Yesterday was semi-surreal.

Had to run a bunch of errands, barely got back in time to prep for the BBQ... somehow i got suckered into playing board games next week (only agreed to NON D&D games...and they said they'd buy trivial pursuit, the movie edition, which kind of sucks 'cause i would kick ass at the pop culture edition) and then possibly letting my ass get dragged to a GOTH CLUB in LA...

In case you can't tell...
I'm SO not goth.
At all.

I wash my dark tshirts in Woolite for Darks and hang dry them just to preserve the color...like they're delicates or something.

I'm past my "angst years"...not that all goth music is full of angst, maybe that's a stereotype, but at the very least i need music that i can either move my hips to with a guy next to me...you can't make love on the dance floor if the music is obnoxious!

This chex mix situation is out of control....we'll call it PNP (Project No Pretzels)....although i've consumed so much chex mix to prove my point, i'm going to be sick. But i do plan on graphing this crap out.

Have you ever spent time wondering about people in your life that you no longer talk to? I've been doing alot of that lately...maybe it was my trip to Ottawa that got me thinking, because I saw so manyp eople that I had lost contact with.

Like D~ (who shall remain nameless, in the off chance he should find this), who was my BUDDY...I could talk with him for hours and hours, and his infatuation with Jessica, the girl who kept a shovel in her SUV because she would steal plants from stores and stuff....I miss him, his friendship, and I'm pissed that he fell of the face of the earth after I got engaged. And then Shelly tells me "oh yeah he totally liked you, didn't you know?!"...uh no mother effer, he was in love with Jessica, and then why didn't he ever DO anything?! I miss him, i do miss our friendship, I miss his deep thoughts on everything and anything.

Or my childhood friend Andrea...i have a ton of photos of her, but i'm sure she would never remember me. She was my first friend ever, but after moving of course when you're like 6 you can't exactly stay in touch...she hated Barbies and loved her Glo-Worm (i was anti glo worm, and i STILL love Barbies)....

I even miss Jeff ("Jeffy"), as bizarre as that sounds because he was soooo classless and he even dissed me at a school dance when he was my date by getting back together with his ex GF (which is fine, because then I hooked up with our friend's younger brother)...but he was my movie guy, and I love spending time with him, and he was the only one who would indulge in my obsession with McD's hotcakes even though i brought my own sugar-free syrup to McDonald's
(yes, i realize that i've said before how anti McD's i am, however in Canada it's not half as gross as here and I really do like their hotcakes..they're not even PANcakes....they're synthetic circular discs that taste fabulous in SF syrup).

Sigh. I think i'm just annoyed with how many times I've moved in my life. Christine finds it hilarious, and she tells people that I"m the "girl who ran away from home at 23 and went all the way to California...that's how much she hated her family"....and it's somewhat true (sad, but true), i DID run away....

Andyou know what? They say running away doesn't help. You know what doesn't help? Email and instant messenger...if my family can give me grief by IM, they might as well do it in person. Same diff. I don't know why I get into arguments via IM with my mom when i'm at work...i'm always one step away from throwing my keyboard at the monitor.

And why does 23 sound so young?! Why did I feel like such a big loser at 23 not knowing what I was doing with my life? Geezus i'm 28 and i still don't know what I want to be when i grow up!

(breathing into paper bag)

AND to add to the anxiety of today is that I didn't see the Whatever Clueless Edition at Target, which pissed me off 'cause i had to fight the Labor Day herd of cows in the parking lot on Monday, and they didn't even HAVE IT...i think i'll have to steal Kraig's best buy gift card and buy it there....if i don't watch that movie at least once a month, i get VERY cranky. And i don't want to have to watch my regular DVD.

Maybe all this anxiety is 'cause this is my "once in a blue moon PMS moment"...i NEVER get hormonal before mother nature's visit, i just gain a ton of water weight, but DANG i'm like hyper emotional today.

Must stay cool for the masses.