So after writing an email about something I realized I actually feel somewhat passionate on the subject...and thus, blog-worthy.
What is romantic when you're in high school is NOT always what's romantic to a chick when she's 30
The following is a list of things that's romantic when you're in high school:
1. Prom. Mostly because it's the only time you have an excuse to look REALLY nice. And get a hotel room...or at least, lose your virginity....or at least, get laid while you look REALLY nice.
As an adult...the closest thing to that would be a company party, which everyone can agree is NOT a romantic night. You can't make out with anyone (that whole "professionalism" thing), you can't dress super sexy (that whole "professionalism" thing), and these are people that you probably hate most of the time anyway. PLUS...your date is most likely your spouse or long term boyfriend, in which case, it's not like you have to wonder if you're gonna get laid that night.
2. Rose petals on the bed....oooh ahhhh just like in the movies....ooohhh so romantic.
Um yeah as an adult, odds are that's MY bed...and rose petals effing stain. And who does the laundry? Exactly. As an adult, only do bed-staining-activities when you're in a hotel. Or if it's your own bed and you don't care if you do the laundry or just toss them altogether.
3. Unhooking the bra. Bear with me on this one. I had a conversation with my friend back in highschool about how it pissed us off when guys just PUSHED your bra up to get to the goods...wtf...get off your lazy ass and unhook that sucker. It HURTS when you push it up, it really does. Especially when it's underwire. In high school, we were SO happy when we found a guy who knew how to unhook and didn't just shove stuff around.
As an adult....the art of unhooking isn't "romantic". It's just....a mechanism. If you're in your 20s/30s and you're still pushing the bra UP...that's more than just unromantic, that's "you're a moron and not worthy of seeing my boobs anyway"....
4. When he's out of gum but lets you have half of his (when he's already chewing it). AND NO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO TOOK GUM OUT OF OTHER GUY'S MOUTHS. If i'm kissing the dude anyway, what's the diff.
As an adult...umm yeah no. Obviously. I can get my own gum. Fresh gum is a requirement.
5. Taking showers together. Yeah that's hot 'cause that means you actually get to get naked somewhere other than the bedroom for the whole 2 seconds you're parents aren't at home.
As an adult...listen, argue with me if you want, i don't care. But unless there's two showerheads, showering together is NOT romantic. SOmeone always freezes! Or as someone else pointed out...it's NOT romantic when a guy washes your hair...you end up feeling like you have to re-do it anyway. PLUS...if i'm in the shower, odds are i need to shave my legs, so i end up pre-showering just to look good for the "real" shower...eff that. You take a shower, I'll take a shower...unless it's a fancy showerhead, it's just one of thsoe things that looks great in the movies.
And...speaking of things that look great in the movies...
6. Sex in a pool. Yeah soooo sexy when you're in high school. Just like the movies.
As an adult: do i even NEED to tell you how bad that is for your gonads?! And there's friction issues. No, not romantic at ALL.
7. Food in the bedroom. Whipped cream. Stuff like that. Yeah it's sexy 'cause it gives you an excuse to LICK body parts. I get it.
As an adult....well it all depends if it's her bedsheets or not. Extra laundry is NOT worth the extra calories from whipped cream. Plus the stuff from a can tastes like sh*t anyway, and i doubt anyone's going to run to the kitchen to grab a mixer and make fresh whip cream.
Things that were romantic in high school and are STILL romantic now:
1. Handwritten love letters. Sigh. I sure hope highschool kids now don't resort to email love letters. There's nothing better than laying on your bed with a note that's all creased and folded/unfolded a million times....that never gets old. Dang my heart is racing right now just remembering times that I've done that....staring at a letter for hours, memerizing every curl and twist of the ink...Note: this also includes poems. They may be cheesy, but dang it's romantic.
2. Flowers. Now keep in mind, I'm biased because I worked in a flower shop and part of me runs in fear when i see a bouquet of roses (I got so desensitized, i could grab a bunch of roses, thorns and all, without feeling a thing...my hands had SO many holes in them)...but a single rose can still make my heart pound....and I still dry them upside down like i used to back in high school.
3. Candles....you know, somehow guys in highschool know to do this and yet, wtf, the novelty wears off when you're an adult? C'mon guys! Ambiance is always good. Not always needed, but it can't hurt. Just make sure they're not like Glade air freshner candles or anything. That would be retarded.
4. Jewelry. In highschool a plain itty bitty ring made us shiver....it still works as an adult. In fact, other than an engagement ring, most often less is more. A teenie chain bracelet with a teenie charm on it is SO much more appreciated than some big chunky ass bracelet. It's not the cost...it's just whatever is least-tacky.
What is romantic now that you may not have even thought of when you were in high school:
1. Cleaning the house. Or apartment. Or your car. Anything that means MY time is free to either spend it with you or spend it doing something fun for myself is so insanely romantic.
2. General thoughtfulness. Such as bringing an extra jacket when you know she's probably gonna be cold. Thoughtfulness is not something the average teenager even notices, but it's SOOO appreciated as an adult. It's getting out of the car and filling up the car with gas because you know our shoes will get wreaked if it's raining. It's picking up another coffee when you're already getting one for yourself. It's ordering your side dish a certain way because you know she'll probably mooch of off it anyway.
3. Specific compliments. In high school usually it's "you're so pretty" blah blah. Eff that crap. By the time you're 30 you want to hear "you have fantastic legs" or "you skin is unbelievably soft"....yeah jackasses, get specific. So we know you mean US...not Random Girl X.
4. General sillyness. Maybe that's just general behavior anyway in high school. But sometimes just being playful and silly and random is the most romantic thing in the world, because for that brief moment you're forgetting all the crap that makes up Being A Grown Up and allows you to be super close to someone else in a way that can't even be described or qualified.
The song of the day is Freak Me by Silk....since everyone my age had sex to that song at some point in high school 'cause well hey, we thought it was sexy....now it just makes me laugh when i hear it.
Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you
1 comment:
Wow do I ever feel that I can't ever be romantic again!! Thanks Sabina!!! :)
For the record I don't think I did any of those things back in high school. Except for maybe the gum part and I swear that happened to me just last year and it was the girl that offered me the gum. :)
Showering together, I've done that a couple of times... First kinda traumatized me, almost drowned and went home on the bus with soaking wet clothes, everyone on the bus knew what I was doin' that night. :P Now I have to agree with Sabina that someone always does end up being cold but isn't the idea of showering together to be together under the shower?? Now in my experience I've usually suggested showering together and I will admit I didn't suggest it to save on water, I did it to get some. :) Note: Bath mats, required.
I have a rule with flowers because one of two things happen, they go over like a lead balloon and don't get you anywhere near the reaction you are hoping for. Or it just seems desparate. Rule of thumb, never buy a girl flowers when she asks for them, spoils the surprize.
Do it when she least expects it.
Food in the bedroom, buy a cheap set of sheets or do it in a hotel. :)
Or wrap the bed in a plastic drop cloth and go crazy, ok the sound of plastic isn't all that romantic but if you're concerned about the bed sheets and where you two are going to sleep after your culinary adventures, wrap the bed. :) I did it once but I covered the bed in plastic and then sprayed the bed with some funky massage oil. Lots of fun... oh and there were candles to. :) (some of us haven't forgotten).
Bryan
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