To tell your future, let me look in my crystal blog

So this was a "request blog"....

On Sunday me, the NIcoles, our gay hairdressor Henri and his friend Gina went to Long Beach to see the psychic.

Mother.

Effer.

Don't even get me started on waht should have been an AM thing ended up getting us all home after 5pm....

Or how I accidentally left my Anal Beads (which I bought to prove a point to some coworkers) at the psychic....that effing sucks.

But the REAL blog is how Henry insists that every guy loves a golden shower. Guys REALLY like it. And he insists it's not just gay guys.

Now first off, this is Henry/Henri...you gotta take 99% of what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, he REALLY went into detail of waht it was like, and how you have this feeling of power, and how men love it because they feel all this warmth and...eww well you get the point.

I have never, EVER, ever had a guy request that of me. I probably would have projectile vomitted.

So i'm like "but....it's a bit MESSY don't you think?" and he said that you just put alot of garbage bags everywhere. Well first off, I used to have my cat's litterbox on a plastic garbage bag 'cause when she had diabetes, she would sometimes pee outside the box...um yeah liquid on a plastic bag is NOT easy to clean up, it spills and slips everywhere. And humans pee a boatload more than cats! So wtf!

Henry then said the bathroom...and I"m like "okay the only place that would make sense would be the bathtub. And then someone's gotta SCRUB the bathtub after. That's just not worth it!"....

I guess logistically i'm not sure how that works out. I asked my husband about this (I mean, who am I to deny my man pleasure if that's what he wants?) and he was like "uhh...no" and was clearly disapproving of me spending too much time with my flamboyantly gay hairdressor. He also pointed out taht some men like poop smeared all over them, but don't expect ALL guys to like that. I don't know why I'm even writing that last line, but I thought it was funny and he was also super annoyed with the ideas that were put in my head.

On another note, yes I'll do the Listerine test....although I really think Wintergreen mints are the tried-and-true standby. But....if Henry insists Listerine is better, then I'll do the test and find out.

DANG i'm peeved about those anal beads! Plus i had a coupon for Quizno's in the bag. Double dammit. And lol, NO i was not going to use those beads (as far as i'm concerned, that's an exit zone), it was to prove a point to some people.

One last note on the psychic....geezus....we were DYING of allergies. I barely HAVE allergies and my eyes were going to pop out of my head. We had to wait outside while each girl got her reading, because the incense, candles, and nonstop cigarette smoke was killing us. There were like 5 cats in the place and i'm sure they're going to be effed up from all that smoke. On cat had a dislocated jaw and just kept walking around drooling with it's tongue hung out. Two other cats slept in the window, and the male cat kept trying to mount the female...and she was gonna have none of that...but the poor guy just kept trying and trying to hump her...

I was so wiped after the whole day that I didn't go to the gym, instead I sat downa nd wrote 99% of all the holiday cards I had to write. I can't believe DH wasn't on, wtf.

The song of the day is Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc (it was playing on the radio)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina