Did a quickie trip to the bay area...
Will post pics soon...
Also updated my sidebar with new links (Sara and Marlene's blogs)...
Gotta jet to pick out the baseboard for the home improvement crap. It never frickin' ends.
Bitchy and cranky as hell.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
puh puh puh push it...
Ahhh, good times on a Friday planning the horrible commute to the bay area. Getting out of LA is 50% of the trip.
Lately Carrie, Nicole V-now-B, and I have been attending these yoga and pilates classes at 24 hour fitness in mission viejo. The pilates one is absolutely insane..you have to be made of steel to be able to do this class without feeling like jello at the end. It's amazing I was able to pack last night, my whole body felt like it was about to fall apart.
Anyway, in these classes there's this blond chick who allegedly goes by Princess. Yes, seriously. That's according to the 24HF counter dudes who've smacktalked her with me.
This girl is super crazy. Like she does every single class the gym offers AND hangs around after to do her own little workouts. She also sort of does her own routine, which throws you off when you have to look to others to figure out wtf you're doing ('cause you can't always see the instructor doing the poses). She also talks alot to the instructor DURING the class...like i don't care about talking to your friend next to you in a hushed voice, but this isn't a Princess and the Instructor Class. I don't want to hear you babble with the effing instructor while i'm trying to nail down the frog leg thing. And it's not like she's crazy fit or toned or anything...otherwise i'd suggest to her to just get a job there teaching a class.
(Ha ha, the dude behind the counter yesterday was all "I sure hope she doesn't see the signs", refering to the signs throughout the gym saying they're hiring for instructors.)
Every single class she has the same "uniform" with her:
1. Black see-through mesh top.
2. Navy blue cotton stretch pants.
3. A bottle of Perrier (that i'm assuming is refilled often with old skool water)
4. A nasty brown animal-print towel that looks more like a rug.
The problem with the above? She doesnt' WASH any of this between classes. If you're that obsessed with working out, effing buy some more gym clothes! Or use the free tshirts you get wherever! And it's not for a lack of money...the 24HF staff say her dad is a "high roller" and she doesn't have to work.
Which really leads to the true problem with her: her body odor is probably the worst i've smelled on anyone. And really, truly, it's a gym...i get it. We sweat. Lord knows I'm not a bucket of roses when i'm at the gym. But this girl is attending classes daily and doesn't wash her clothes or her towel...put your head in a bucket of sewage for 1 hour and that's pretty much what this chick is like.
So here's my New Gym Rules:
1. If you're going to be Little Miss I'm More Advanced Than You Suckas, then take a spot at the BACK of the class.
2. Do not engage in a full-on discussion with the teacher, unless you have a question about the pose.
3. Wash your stuff when you get home, or bring fresh new clothes to the next class.
4. That also includes bathing.
5. Feel free to do the more advanced poses, but try to stick with the general activity of the class. If people are on their backs lifting their legs, dont' stand up with weights in your hands doing something else. Did you not learn Simon Says in school?!
In other news, attempting to train for a stupid 5K is alot more...exercise than I anticipated. You can hire someone to do almost anything, but apparently you can't hire them to exercise for you.
Lately Carrie, Nicole V-now-B, and I have been attending these yoga and pilates classes at 24 hour fitness in mission viejo. The pilates one is absolutely insane..you have to be made of steel to be able to do this class without feeling like jello at the end. It's amazing I was able to pack last night, my whole body felt like it was about to fall apart.
Anyway, in these classes there's this blond chick who allegedly goes by Princess. Yes, seriously. That's according to the 24HF counter dudes who've smacktalked her with me.
This girl is super crazy. Like she does every single class the gym offers AND hangs around after to do her own little workouts. She also sort of does her own routine, which throws you off when you have to look to others to figure out wtf you're doing ('cause you can't always see the instructor doing the poses). She also talks alot to the instructor DURING the class...like i don't care about talking to your friend next to you in a hushed voice, but this isn't a Princess and the Instructor Class. I don't want to hear you babble with the effing instructor while i'm trying to nail down the frog leg thing. And it's not like she's crazy fit or toned or anything...otherwise i'd suggest to her to just get a job there teaching a class.
(Ha ha, the dude behind the counter yesterday was all "I sure hope she doesn't see the signs", refering to the signs throughout the gym saying they're hiring for instructors.)
Every single class she has the same "uniform" with her:
1. Black see-through mesh top.
2. Navy blue cotton stretch pants.
3. A bottle of Perrier (that i'm assuming is refilled often with old skool water)
4. A nasty brown animal-print towel that looks more like a rug.
The problem with the above? She doesnt' WASH any of this between classes. If you're that obsessed with working out, effing buy some more gym clothes! Or use the free tshirts you get wherever! And it's not for a lack of money...the 24HF staff say her dad is a "high roller" and she doesn't have to work.
Which really leads to the true problem with her: her body odor is probably the worst i've smelled on anyone. And really, truly, it's a gym...i get it. We sweat. Lord knows I'm not a bucket of roses when i'm at the gym. But this girl is attending classes daily and doesn't wash her clothes or her towel...put your head in a bucket of sewage for 1 hour and that's pretty much what this chick is like.
So here's my New Gym Rules:
1. If you're going to be Little Miss I'm More Advanced Than You Suckas, then take a spot at the BACK of the class.
2. Do not engage in a full-on discussion with the teacher, unless you have a question about the pose.
3. Wash your stuff when you get home, or bring fresh new clothes to the next class.
4. That also includes bathing.
5. Feel free to do the more advanced poses, but try to stick with the general activity of the class. If people are on their backs lifting their legs, dont' stand up with weights in your hands doing something else. Did you not learn Simon Says in school?!
In other news, attempting to train for a stupid 5K is alot more...exercise than I anticipated. You can hire someone to do almost anything, but apparently you can't hire them to exercise for you.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Oh say can you seeeeeee
Friday I had my US Citizenship test. You know what's sad? I've dealt with INS/BCIS/UCSIS/Dept. of Homeland Security more often than the DMV, and i'd say the quality of both departments are equal....
Someone who had already taken the test told me I needed to cram for 2 weeks...wtf. To anyone who's taking the test: geezus, just study the night before and you'll be fine.
My appointment was at 1:50 and you couldn't show up sooner than 30 mins before the appointment. Being the paranoid freak that I am, I arrived 2 hours early and parked my car in the lot. Which meant I sat there sweating like a mofo for 1.5 hours in my car.
Got in, was PISSED 'cause i sweat like a mofo in dress clothes per the paperwork advisement...mutha effahs waiting were wearing jeans!
Had to drop my papers off under the glass window thing (oh yes, it's the Immigration way....you never get to just to just hand someoone a paper, you have to deal with people behind windows...)...
Once I got called I had to do the whole "raise your right hand do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth yadda yadda"...then had to do a 3rd grade reading/writing test (I DRIVE A BLUE CAR TO WORK). What pissed me off was the history/politics test...yeah, the one I was advised to study for 2 weeks straight...you only need 60% to pass (got 100%...yay for my brain)...
After that, chicky went through my application, had to say that I would be willing to fight on behalf of the US in case of war...
Alright, so to answer everyone's question: no, i'm not a US citizen. After passing the test/interview, they "recommend" me to get my citizenship. In 3 months i'll get a letter telling me that in 2 weeks i'll get to be sworn in.
Once again, i'm stuck on hold with my vacation planning (sorry NY) until I get that letter telling me when I have to go in.
And that is my boring tale of my visit to the department of homeland security....
Someone who had already taken the test told me I needed to cram for 2 weeks...wtf. To anyone who's taking the test: geezus, just study the night before and you'll be fine.
My appointment was at 1:50 and you couldn't show up sooner than 30 mins before the appointment. Being the paranoid freak that I am, I arrived 2 hours early and parked my car in the lot. Which meant I sat there sweating like a mofo for 1.5 hours in my car.
Got in, was PISSED 'cause i sweat like a mofo in dress clothes per the paperwork advisement...mutha effahs waiting were wearing jeans!
Had to drop my papers off under the glass window thing (oh yes, it's the Immigration way....you never get to just to just hand someoone a paper, you have to deal with people behind windows...)...
Once I got called I had to do the whole "raise your right hand do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth yadda yadda"...then had to do a 3rd grade reading/writing test (I DRIVE A BLUE CAR TO WORK). What pissed me off was the history/politics test...yeah, the one I was advised to study for 2 weeks straight...you only need 60% to pass (got 100%...yay for my brain)...
After that, chicky went through my application, had to say that I would be willing to fight on behalf of the US in case of war...
Alright, so to answer everyone's question: no, i'm not a US citizen. After passing the test/interview, they "recommend" me to get my citizenship. In 3 months i'll get a letter telling me that in 2 weeks i'll get to be sworn in.
Once again, i'm stuck on hold with my vacation planning (sorry NY) until I get that letter telling me when I have to go in.
And that is my boring tale of my visit to the department of homeland security....
Thursday, August 09, 2007
2 hours and mom's wisdom
I was born on my mom's 30th birthday...so obviously that means tomorrow my mom is turning 60...
She summarized tonight exactly why 30 bugs me:
i'm still trying to come to terms about the big 60. somehow the 5 in front of my age felt pretty good. as i said, from now on it's downhill all the way. lucky i'm still in good health.
yep. indeed.
She summarized tonight exactly why 30 bugs me:
i'm still trying to come to terms about the big 60. somehow the 5 in front of my age felt pretty good. as i said, from now on it's downhill all the way. lucky i'm still in good health.
yep. indeed.
To Norm:
Soooo... what do I have to do to get the number of your neurologist, or even better yet her daughter?
lol it's Dr. Spokoyny (I think she's russian, hence the daughter's massive boobs) Time for Norm to need his head checked
lol it's Dr. Spokoyny (I think she's russian, hence the daughter's massive boobs) Time for Norm to need his head checked
Hours away
Just a few more hours till:
I'm no longer in my "late twenties" like my side profile says
I become in my "early 30s"...
I reach the third time of reach the "new decade" mark. When you're 10 you're happy 'cause it's cool to be in the double digits.
When i reached it the second time I started using fancy moisturizer and got depressed because that's the age that, when i was 5, i specifically noted that that was an old age and should need moisturizing.
Now it's my 3rd time, and i'm just one more decade iteration till i'm no longer remotely cool or hip.
You know what being 30 means? It means people tellyou that you look good "for your age". Like in Glamour and crap. No one says to a 21 year old that they look good for their age. But to look good for your age after 30 means that the odds are stacked against you and that all that life has to bring typically wears away on your face and body.
Want to curl up in a ball.
Fortunately, this is always FABULOUS for a great laugh:
I'm no longer in my "late twenties" like my side profile says
I become in my "early 30s"...
I reach the third time of reach the "new decade" mark. When you're 10 you're happy 'cause it's cool to be in the double digits.
When i reached it the second time I started using fancy moisturizer and got depressed because that's the age that, when i was 5, i specifically noted that that was an old age and should need moisturizing.
Now it's my 3rd time, and i'm just one more decade iteration till i'm no longer remotely cool or hip.
You know what being 30 means? It means people tellyou that you look good "for your age". Like in Glamour and crap. No one says to a 21 year old that they look good for their age. But to look good for your age after 30 means that the odds are stacked against you and that all that life has to bring typically wears away on your face and body.
Want to curl up in a ball.
Fortunately, this is always FABULOUS for a great laugh:
Monday, August 06, 2007
Monthly visitor...the Blog Lady.
Well, this might be a record for the longest time since I've written. Basically, my "care" factor is pretty low, and I'm so exhausted over real life to have the energy to write about...real life.
Why the exhaustion? Well first they thought it was my B12. Started ODing on that stuff, got it up, and then they thought it was my thyroid levels. They're borderline "hypothyroid", but still ok. THEN i went to see a neurologist (who's daughter was working there for the day and I was so confused...her boobs were CRAZY massive but she didn't have the hootchie look, like fake nails and all that, of an OC plastic-surgeried chick...turns out the boobs were real and the neurologist gets yelled at all the time by strangers asking why she would allow her 19 year old to get such massive boobs...), the neurologist made me get MORE bloodwork done to see if I had Epstein's Bar or something...
(When I hear "Epstein" i think of Juan Epstein from Welcome Back Kotter...and then I picture John Travolta going "up your nose with a rubber hose"...)
Anyway, all of that came back fine. So now i'm sitting here still trying not to pass out trying to figure out the exahustion. To top it off, the last blood panel i took was the day before I donated blood, and they said that i might bruise...i was like "ahh it's all good, go for it"...um riigghtt...I look like someone took a hammer to my arm. It's effing SICK.
In other news, I've been commissioned to do an informal poll to see if guys stalk their girlfriends' ex-boyfriends as much as we stalk our boyfriends' exes...My stance is that us chicks have a strong opinion about our boyfriend's (boyfriends' if you're really in stalker mode) ex girlfriends, that they're whores. We dont' like them, they're evil whores, and they're dying ot get back together with our guy.
Guys on the other hand dont' give a crap about our exes. They figure, "pfft he's the idiot who doesn't have her...i got her now" and that's it.
Have I scopedo ut ex boyfriends online? Heck yeah. Thank you Google. Google and Facebook and Yahoo and Myspace and....
I've check out ex boyfriends' ex girlfriends online...(thank you Google, Facebook, Yahoo....)...
And once Kraig remembers his ex girlfriends' names, they'll be stalked as well.
Is there any guy out there who has researched their girlfriend/ex-girlfriend's ex boyfriends?Or...as I suspect...do you really not care one way or another?
My most recent life development has been my war with a dry cleaner on El Toro on Lake Forest..i'd list their name but something tells me i'm going to take them to small claims court, and i don't feel like jinxing anythng just yet. I've already filed a report with the Better Business Bureau, and for the amount I want back ($208, which is 75% the value of the dress as per the International Fabric Institute's guideline, which most dry cleaners are members of) it'll only be $30 to file...at this rate it'llb e worth it to annoy the crap out of them.
You know how much they want to give me? 10 times the value of the service. I got 4 items on my bill, which means the value of that actual service for the dress is $2.18....um yeah $21.80 for a White House|Black Market dress is a slap in the face. I spent that much on gas already going there a thousand times.
Quick Movie Reviews:
The Simpsons Movie: It was as good as the regular tv show. The regular show is great...so...the movie was great...but it wasn't above-and-beyond great. After watching it, the next day I got it on my phone. i figure, i paid to see it in theaters so it's not so bad that i scored a downloaded version, right? (and HA HA Entertainment Lawyers...i'm not the one who downloaded it...and if you come after me i'll defy you to PROVE other than this blog entry that i have it...moo ha ha ahaaaa)...
Bourne Ultimatum: I dig Matt Damon, and I can't think of any bad movies with him in it. Even that Stuck On You movie was pretty funny (dumb, but funny).
Much like the other Bourne movies, it's the typical Bourne-vs-the-world concept, but it was highly entertaining. Has a fantastic fight scene that's not flashy or gimicky...it's "i'll grab a candlestick...you grab a book...i'll grab a random piece of fabric...i'll smash you into a bookcase...i'll smother you in the bathtub..."...Very well done, even if you haven't seen the other 2 movies (and what cave have you been living in if that's the case?!) you'll totally understand the gist of it.
And...finally...4 days away from the big three-oh. I know to some people it's not a big deal, but i grew up with 30 representing ALOT of different things, and now that i'm actually reaching it it's making a pretty big impact psychologically. I swear if i wake up with a grey hair on Friday, i'll go off the deep end.
Argh i'll have to update that little schpiel under my profile on the right...
Why the exhaustion? Well first they thought it was my B12. Started ODing on that stuff, got it up, and then they thought it was my thyroid levels. They're borderline "hypothyroid", but still ok. THEN i went to see a neurologist (who's daughter was working there for the day and I was so confused...her boobs were CRAZY massive but she didn't have the hootchie look, like fake nails and all that, of an OC plastic-surgeried chick...turns out the boobs were real and the neurologist gets yelled at all the time by strangers asking why she would allow her 19 year old to get such massive boobs...), the neurologist made me get MORE bloodwork done to see if I had Epstein's Bar or something...
(When I hear "Epstein" i think of Juan Epstein from Welcome Back Kotter...and then I picture John Travolta going "up your nose with a rubber hose"...)
Anyway, all of that came back fine. So now i'm sitting here still trying not to pass out trying to figure out the exahustion. To top it off, the last blood panel i took was the day before I donated blood, and they said that i might bruise...i was like "ahh it's all good, go for it"...um riigghtt...I look like someone took a hammer to my arm. It's effing SICK.
In other news, I've been commissioned to do an informal poll to see if guys stalk their girlfriends' ex-boyfriends as much as we stalk our boyfriends' exes...My stance is that us chicks have a strong opinion about our boyfriend's (boyfriends' if you're really in stalker mode) ex girlfriends, that they're whores. We dont' like them, they're evil whores, and they're dying ot get back together with our guy.
Guys on the other hand dont' give a crap about our exes. They figure, "pfft he's the idiot who doesn't have her...i got her now" and that's it.
Have I scopedo ut ex boyfriends online? Heck yeah. Thank you Google. Google and Facebook and Yahoo and Myspace and....
I've check out ex boyfriends' ex girlfriends online...(thank you Google, Facebook, Yahoo....)...
And once Kraig remembers his ex girlfriends' names, they'll be stalked as well.
Is there any guy out there who has researched their girlfriend/ex-girlfriend's ex boyfriends?Or...as I suspect...do you really not care one way or another?
My most recent life development has been my war with a dry cleaner on El Toro on Lake Forest..i'd list their name but something tells me i'm going to take them to small claims court, and i don't feel like jinxing anythng just yet. I've already filed a report with the Better Business Bureau, and for the amount I want back ($208, which is 75% the value of the dress as per the International Fabric Institute's guideline, which most dry cleaners are members of) it'll only be $30 to file...at this rate it'llb e worth it to annoy the crap out of them.
You know how much they want to give me? 10 times the value of the service. I got 4 items on my bill, which means the value of that actual service for the dress is $2.18....um yeah $21.80 for a White House|Black Market dress is a slap in the face. I spent that much on gas already going there a thousand times.
Quick Movie Reviews:
The Simpsons Movie: It was as good as the regular tv show. The regular show is great...so...the movie was great...but it wasn't above-and-beyond great. After watching it, the next day I got it on my phone. i figure, i paid to see it in theaters so it's not so bad that i scored a downloaded version, right? (and HA HA Entertainment Lawyers...i'm not the one who downloaded it...and if you come after me i'll defy you to PROVE other than this blog entry that i have it...moo ha ha ahaaaa)...
Bourne Ultimatum: I dig Matt Damon, and I can't think of any bad movies with him in it. Even that Stuck On You movie was pretty funny (dumb, but funny).
Much like the other Bourne movies, it's the typical Bourne-vs-the-world concept, but it was highly entertaining. Has a fantastic fight scene that's not flashy or gimicky...it's "i'll grab a candlestick...you grab a book...i'll grab a random piece of fabric...i'll smash you into a bookcase...i'll smother you in the bathtub..."...Very well done, even if you haven't seen the other 2 movies (and what cave have you been living in if that's the case?!) you'll totally understand the gist of it.
And...finally...4 days away from the big three-oh. I know to some people it's not a big deal, but i grew up with 30 representing ALOT of different things, and now that i'm actually reaching it it's making a pretty big impact psychologically. I swear if i wake up with a grey hair on Friday, i'll go off the deep end.
Argh i'll have to update that little schpiel under my profile on the right...
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