I love Sarah Michelle Gellar. She picks some great projects (I can't even fault her for Scooby Doo...who wouldn't want to play in that movie?!). This is going to be effing amazing.
Veronika Decides to Die
Release Date: March 2009
Genre: Drama
Director: Emily Young
Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jonathan Tucker, David Thewlis, Melissa Leo, Erika Christensen
The story centers on Veronika, a woman in her mid twenties who appears to have everything: good looks, good job and a great life ahead of her. Yet she decides to end her own life. She is unsuccessful and awakens in a mental hospital where she learns that she has five days to live. We learn that the reason that she attempted suicide was that she felt so constrained by the rules and expectations of 'normal' society that she had concluded that she had experienced all that life had to offer. However in the hospital she meets people who are only 'insane' because they don't always follow society's rules. With little left to lose, Veronika embarks on a journey on which she frees herself to experience relationships and emotions and ultimately discovers what it means to live.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Of spandex and mosh pits
So way back a month ago, I decided it was time for me to branch out of my "comfort zone".
Which meant it was time I went to my very first goth club. Off Crenshaw.
We parked in some store parking lot and this random dude insists it's like $5 to park. Naturally I start off the night by arguing with him, saying he could be ANY random guy just asking for $5, like don't we get a ticket or something? And it doesn't say it's a paid lot! Well he threatened to tow in whatever broken English so we decided to just pay up rather than risk being stranded in the ghetto ("..innn the ghhetttooo!")
I had a complete blast, loved it, and would go back in a heartbeat (much props to Justin and Sarah for putting up with my prepster-ass). I texted a billion people during the night, fortunately Carrie saved my texts. Here's what i wrote:
This will be a blog entry…egads.
[I’m wearing red and black.]
Goth people are white. They have only white blond hair or jet black.
Goth people can’t dance worth sh1t. I’m like, a frickin’ ballet dancer next to them.
Seriously. Serrriously. Two drinks and two shot later and I’m not dr*nk and a guy with an eye patch just hit on me. What the…
There’s two hotter guys here…Sarah and I scoped them out. I think one is g@y.
Goth people like being anti-establishment by wearing lots of embellishments.
I’m dancing all hip hop in a goth club.
I dropped my lip balm.
Oh sh1t…Justin’s in a mosh pit. I haven’t seen a mosh pit in ten years. I’m so old!
Please remind me for the blog that goth bands think they know German.
This one actually really bugged me, like that night I felt I needed to represent for Austrians or something...1/2 austrian represent!
And remind me they all have Macs.
Some guy is wearing spandex, goggles, and fish fins on his back.
Remind me that goth kids put bandanas around their face like it’s the apocalypse.
Effing guy with an eye patch is all over this ish. I don’t “do” guys with one eye!
Damn, Sarah deserves an award for putting up with my ass all night!
When we got back to the car, the pseudo-attendant was still there. I guess he was legit.
Which meant it was time I went to my very first goth club. Off Crenshaw.
We parked in some store parking lot and this random dude insists it's like $5 to park. Naturally I start off the night by arguing with him, saying he could be ANY random guy just asking for $5, like don't we get a ticket or something? And it doesn't say it's a paid lot! Well he threatened to tow in whatever broken English so we decided to just pay up rather than risk being stranded in the ghetto ("..innn the ghhetttooo!")
I had a complete blast, loved it, and would go back in a heartbeat (much props to Justin and Sarah for putting up with my prepster-ass). I texted a billion people during the night, fortunately Carrie saved my texts. Here's what i wrote:
This will be a blog entry…egads.
[I’m wearing red and black.]
Goth people are white. They have only white blond hair or jet black.
Goth people can’t dance worth sh1t. I’m like, a frickin’ ballet dancer next to them.
Seriously. Serrriously. Two drinks and two shot later and I’m not dr*nk and a guy with an eye patch just hit on me. What the…
There’s two hotter guys here…Sarah and I scoped them out. I think one is g@y.
Goth people like being anti-establishment by wearing lots of embellishments.
I’m dancing all hip hop in a goth club.
I dropped my lip balm.
Oh sh1t…Justin’s in a mosh pit. I haven’t seen a mosh pit in ten years. I’m so old!
Please remind me for the blog that goth bands think they know German.
This one actually really bugged me, like that night I felt I needed to represent for Austrians or something...1/2 austrian represent!
And remind me they all have Macs.
Some guy is wearing spandex, goggles, and fish fins on his back.
Remind me that goth kids put bandanas around their face like it’s the apocalypse.
Effing guy with an eye patch is all over this ish. I don’t “do” guys with one eye!
Damn, Sarah deserves an award for putting up with my ass all night!
When we got back to the car, the pseudo-attendant was still there. I guess he was legit.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Serious random thoughts
Must purge brain or else it'll explode. In no particular order, thoughts running through my teenie grey matter:
Kah-toe-mahh-tayyy
- Must buy Nars Orgasm blush. Sarah turned me onto it...it's gorgeous gorgeous. Worth every penny. Looks good on any skin color. Even men should buy it, it's THAT good.
- Getting over a caffeine addiction is HARD. I've done it before, but damn if caffeine isn't like crack. I've never had crack, but I can only assume that the crankiness and shakes associated with withdrawals are somewhat comparable. When I don't get me some diet pepsi (yes, go ahead, say it..."what are you, French?" Suck it...Diet P is way better than Diet C), I become an uncontrollable bitch. I've allowed myself 2 sodas if I go out for lunch (one drink, one refill...that's it), and mannnnn the waitress must think I'm psychotic because I literally bounce up and down in my seat in anticipation of my drug of choice. Thankfully, Tazo Tea is my rehab drug.
- Entourage better f*cking win at the SAG awards tonight.
- Do you ever find yourself getting emotional over really retarded things? Almost losing this blog to jackass hackers completely took my breath away. I almost lost my Jackball antenna topper when my car was washed yesterday...it's old, it's filthy, and I ended up throwing it out when they found it, but I was in hysterics freaking out at Toyota to find that damn Jackball.
- I'm too lazy to use HTML to make bullets, so the indentation is all off 'cause i'm using Blogger's template. What-eva.
- Thank the Lord for Burn Notice starting up again. I have no idea if real spies do the things in this show, but I like to feel like I'm getting some insider info on how they work. Like turning a can of spray air upside down creates dry ice. I could test that theory. But I trust what Michael Weston tells me. He does no wrong.
- In the category of all things aging, I thought my freakout over turning 30 was enough to last a decade. Oh, how naive I was. That freakout lasted all of 1.5 years. The thought of turning 32 is gripping me to no end. And don't give me this "age ain't nuthin' but a numba" garbage. 32 seals the deal that you really are in your 30s, and you can't even attempt to piggyback on your 20s anymore.
- I love that at 11:30pm, Janet texted me that she saw Gretchen from Real Housewives of OC. I love that I cared. I've got no shame in my game. I'm not celebrity obsessed because I think they're great...I just love picking them apart. I may give up diet pepsi, but I will never give up my Pop Culture vice. NEVER! I want my gravestone to read: Would have won World Series of Pop Culture. (Marcella: you would have had to be on my team of course!)
- Why is it that the more children Angelina Jolie pops out, the more matronly she looks? I mean, I understand things change when you have a child but dang woman, you are still gorgeous. Your fashion choices lately are nothing more than a designer gown version of a grey sweatsuit.
- Obsession has a new name, and its called: Turkey Sandwiches.
- I don't understand why we all love Bath & Body Works. I mean, it's just SOAP people. And yet, I could shop there every minute of every day. Their stuff is cheap and it's the BEST.
Kah-toe-mahh-tayyy
Letter to the editor
Changing your gmail password should be find along with whatever security questions are associated with your account. Oh and could you send me that link to the other blog, I'll keep it safe I promise. :)
Bry, I'll send you the link to the other one once I actually get off my ass and actually fully build it...I need 2 jpegs made, plus actually ADDING content...it's retarded, because I pay serious $$ for all that server space and yet, do nothing.
As for the gmail password...the thing is, if they had it already open on their end, they could still dick around with the account and re-change it as well. I didn't want to risk losing this blog...been working on this for YEARS.
I guess now that i bought the domain name, I might as well pay $$ to actually move everything there. Going legit yo!
Bry, I'll send you the link to the other one once I actually get off my ass and actually fully build it...I need 2 jpegs made, plus actually ADDING content...it's retarded, because I pay serious $$ for all that server space and yet, do nothing.
As for the gmail password...the thing is, if they had it already open on their end, they could still dick around with the account and re-change it as well. I didn't want to risk losing this blog...been working on this for YEARS.
I guess now that i bought the domain name, I might as well pay $$ to actually move everything there. Going legit yo!
Friday, January 23, 2009
THANK THE LORD
No need to panic people...okay you probably weren't panicking...my frickin' gmail account was swiped...which is linked to blogger. I'm shaking. The last time I felt this violated was when my ebay account was hacked, but that's one of those things where it's paid, so there's a phone number associated with it...this is free, gmail is free, so you're SOL if it goes awry.
I didn't realize how much I love this blog. It reminds me of Gina...for those not in the know, she's a friend of mine who died of cancer awhile back. It was her suggestion that I create a blog...for some reason, even though we didn't talk much towards the end of her life, it still matters to me to keep this going.
Anyway, I figured out a workaround but I'm terrified of it ever happening again (who knew that 4 years of bitching would be sentimental to me), so I bought RandomThoughtsAndGripes.com ...and eventually I'll move it over.
Like that other website i have but won't list here for incriminating purposes :P
Stay tuned for the more legit version of my bitching...speaking of, yes I know I need to do something with TeamBitches.com ....my laziness is at an all time high.
DAMN...what happened to the days when all you had to be afraid of was your neighbor going through your trash?!
I didn't realize how much I love this blog. It reminds me of Gina...for those not in the know, she's a friend of mine who died of cancer awhile back. It was her suggestion that I create a blog...for some reason, even though we didn't talk much towards the end of her life, it still matters to me to keep this going.
Anyway, I figured out a workaround but I'm terrified of it ever happening again (who knew that 4 years of bitching would be sentimental to me), so I bought RandomThoughtsAndGripes.com ...and eventually I'll move it over.
Like that other website i have but won't list here for incriminating purposes :P
Stay tuned for the more legit version of my bitching...speaking of, yes I know I need to do something with TeamBitches.com ....my laziness is at an all time high.
DAMN...what happened to the days when all you had to be afraid of was your neighbor going through your trash?!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Again...incomplete...must...have...
I saw this dress in a frickin' PROM magazine. How this is kosher for a prom is beyond me.
I adore it. I also adore the idea of having Giselle's body to go in it (grumble) but it reminds me of the poor man's version of this knockout:
A note to any designers out there: I'm pimping out my body for the sole purpose to wear free clothes. Hook me up. I'll tell everyone and anyone who sponsored me. "Yeahhh this sweet dress? Courtesy of BCBG"..."You like my boots? Thanks Steve Madden!"....
This dress just blows my mind. Maybe also 'cause it's 3:15am and I'm loopy. LOVE it.
For real. I could live in a cardboard box...as long as I have the above grecian dress.
In unrelated but yet somewhat related news, it's become my obsession to find the dress Gretchen wore in Part 1 & 2 "Naked Wars" of Real Housewives of Orange County. I can't even do a search for it by color..not quite magenta, not quite peach...odds of me ever BUYING it are remote, but if I can find out who makes it I can work to find a good knockoff. And then wallow over not being able to afford it (or that if i could afford it, where the EFF would I wear it? Time for my friends to start having parties where they hire celebrity caterers and demonstrate their mad table manner skillz).
I adore it. I also adore the idea of having Giselle's body to go in it (grumble) but it reminds me of the poor man's version of this knockout:
A note to any designers out there: I'm pimping out my body for the sole purpose to wear free clothes. Hook me up. I'll tell everyone and anyone who sponsored me. "Yeahhh this sweet dress? Courtesy of BCBG"..."You like my boots? Thanks Steve Madden!"....
This dress just blows my mind. Maybe also 'cause it's 3:15am and I'm loopy. LOVE it.
For real. I could live in a cardboard box...as long as I have the above grecian dress.
In unrelated but yet somewhat related news, it's become my obsession to find the dress Gretchen wore in Part 1 & 2 "Naked Wars" of Real Housewives of Orange County. I can't even do a search for it by color..not quite magenta, not quite peach...odds of me ever BUYING it are remote, but if I can find out who makes it I can work to find a good knockoff. And then wallow over not being able to afford it (or that if i could afford it, where the EFF would I wear it? Time for my friends to start having parties where they hire celebrity caterers and demonstrate their mad table manner skillz).
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
When I grow up
I typically say that when I grow up, I want to be Blair Waldorf.
yeah. you heard me. I want to be a rich teen new york socialite with old money. Suck it.
But really, I just want to be Kate Winslet. People in hollywood eventually f*ck up and do something classless...this girl oozes so much class it leaves a diamond slime trail behind her.
yeah. you heard me. I want to be a rich teen new york socialite with old money. Suck it.
But really, I just want to be Kate Winslet. People in hollywood eventually f*ck up and do something classless...this girl oozes so much class it leaves a diamond slime trail behind her.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Movie/TV Reviews
Massive Movie Reviews
It's been awhile since I've made any tv or movie reviews, so here's the condensed version:
Atonement
What the EFF. I want my time back. It was beyond horrible. The story in theory was kind of interesting, but Keira Knightly's hair drove me NUTS the whole time. It was like some curly mullet. It was an attack to my senses. And James MacAvoy looks anemic...men need to eat MEAT people. It wasn't some crazy tragic love story. And that infamous green dress? How it's gotten so much publicity is beyond me, it's not flattering at all.
This movie made me ANGRY.
Drillbit Taylor
I only rented it because I adore Leslie Mann (don't know who she is? The chick who vomits in the car on Steve Carrell in 40 Year Old Virgin), however midway through this movie I think I fell asleep or something. So if you need a nap, enjoy.
Role Models
I LOVE Paul Rudd. He can do no wrong in my eyes. And I was pleasantly surprised that Seann William Scott has finally grown out of his Stifler years. It seemed like every line was just one funny punchline away from something hilarious, but it was still pretty enjoyable and worth renting.
And...did I mention it has Paul Rudd? Even when he's playing a douchebag he's still boneable.
Twilight
Sigh.
Where do I begin.
I didn't want to read the book...it fell under the "Harry Potter" mania category. But my bookclub was reading it, and Carrie lent me a copy, so I figured I'd read it.
So i need to distinguish between my gripes about the book (hello, teen sex! Your boyfriend is a vampire who sparkles like diamonds! And he can't knock you up! Totally worth the risk of death to me) vs. the movie itself.
Well RPattz is best when he just sits. Not even silent...I mean, the guy shouldn't even MOVE. I'd say he's the worst actor in the movie, but compared to the others he's Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. Kristen Stewart can't act her way past her "I'm the It-Girl who's a total pothead" title.
The only enjoyable parts in the movie were:
1. Chief Swan...they wrote some good zingers in there for him. Eff New Moon...I want to see the Bella's Dad's Excellent Adventures movie.
2. The end.
Crap I know I saw something else over the xmas holidays that i had DVRed for the longest time...ahhh well it couldn't have been that good!
Some tv thoughts:
Entourage
Been catching up...GOD i love Adrien Grenier. And as much as I can't stand Jeremy Piven, dude should win a lifetime Emmy for playing Ari. This show is so damn brilliant it blows my mind. Literally. I have to pick up my brain off the floor after I watch it.
Lipstick Jungle
I enjoyed this much more than Cashmere Mafia but yes, it was a total fluff piece. That being said, after they announced its cancellation it got really good. The storylines got more complex, and it wasn't so lovey-dovey. I do still have a major beef with all these shows featuring "strong independent working women"...WE DO NOT MEET BEFORE WORK FOR COFFEE OR BREAKFAST. Especially women with kids. I adore my friends, but if I have to choose between waking up at 5am to meet them for breakfast vs. SLEEPING...sleeping will always win.
The Hills
Okay, come ON. They don't WORK for Diane Von Furstenberg! This show has become 99% scripted. And if that's the case, then I want better actors.
Bromance
I'm totally behind on this show, but I was pleasantly surprised at how entertaining it is. And Brody Jenner is actually charming and endearing, something Spencer Pratt lacks (who I still say is still fun to watch in his own right...you have to give the guy props for taking his 10 seconds of fame and stretching it 10 minutes too long).
It's been awhile since I've made any tv or movie reviews, so here's the condensed version:
Atonement
What the EFF. I want my time back. It was beyond horrible. The story in theory was kind of interesting, but Keira Knightly's hair drove me NUTS the whole time. It was like some curly mullet. It was an attack to my senses. And James MacAvoy looks anemic...men need to eat MEAT people. It wasn't some crazy tragic love story. And that infamous green dress? How it's gotten so much publicity is beyond me, it's not flattering at all.
This movie made me ANGRY.
Drillbit Taylor
I only rented it because I adore Leslie Mann (don't know who she is? The chick who vomits in the car on Steve Carrell in 40 Year Old Virgin), however midway through this movie I think I fell asleep or something. So if you need a nap, enjoy.
Role Models
I LOVE Paul Rudd. He can do no wrong in my eyes. And I was pleasantly surprised that Seann William Scott has finally grown out of his Stifler years. It seemed like every line was just one funny punchline away from something hilarious, but it was still pretty enjoyable and worth renting.
And...did I mention it has Paul Rudd? Even when he's playing a douchebag he's still boneable.
Twilight
Sigh.
Where do I begin.
I didn't want to read the book...it fell under the "Harry Potter" mania category. But my bookclub was reading it, and Carrie lent me a copy, so I figured I'd read it.
So i need to distinguish between my gripes about the book (hello, teen sex! Your boyfriend is a vampire who sparkles like diamonds! And he can't knock you up! Totally worth the risk of death to me) vs. the movie itself.
Well RPattz is best when he just sits. Not even silent...I mean, the guy shouldn't even MOVE. I'd say he's the worst actor in the movie, but compared to the others he's Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. Kristen Stewart can't act her way past her "I'm the It-Girl who's a total pothead" title.
The only enjoyable parts in the movie were:
1. Chief Swan...they wrote some good zingers in there for him. Eff New Moon...I want to see the Bella's Dad's Excellent Adventures movie.
2. The end.
Crap I know I saw something else over the xmas holidays that i had DVRed for the longest time...ahhh well it couldn't have been that good!
Some tv thoughts:
Entourage
Been catching up...GOD i love Adrien Grenier. And as much as I can't stand Jeremy Piven, dude should win a lifetime Emmy for playing Ari. This show is so damn brilliant it blows my mind. Literally. I have to pick up my brain off the floor after I watch it.
Lipstick Jungle
I enjoyed this much more than Cashmere Mafia but yes, it was a total fluff piece. That being said, after they announced its cancellation it got really good. The storylines got more complex, and it wasn't so lovey-dovey. I do still have a major beef with all these shows featuring "strong independent working women"...WE DO NOT MEET BEFORE WORK FOR COFFEE OR BREAKFAST. Especially women with kids. I adore my friends, but if I have to choose between waking up at 5am to meet them for breakfast vs. SLEEPING...sleeping will always win.
The Hills
Okay, come ON. They don't WORK for Diane Von Furstenberg! This show has become 99% scripted. And if that's the case, then I want better actors.
Bromance
I'm totally behind on this show, but I was pleasantly surprised at how entertaining it is. And Brody Jenner is actually charming and endearing, something Spencer Pratt lacks (who I still say is still fun to watch in his own right...you have to give the guy props for taking his 10 seconds of fame and stretching it 10 minutes too long).
Yet ANOTHER reason why 24 Hour Fitness sucks balls
Yes, I have a stupid 24HF membership, mostly because they're just convenient...no matter wher eyou are, there's probably a 24HF nearby.
They're TOTALLY the McDonald's of gyms...they suck, they're not even healthy, but they work in a pinch when you don't have much of an alternative. GOD i hate them. And yet, I give them my money (I prepaid so going forward, it's just $50/year for the rest of my life. How on $50 they can maintain their always-broken equipment is beyond me).
Anyway, I went to their website to check out a class time and saw this spelling error:
request copy of aggrement
Are you f*cking kidding me?! THEY MAKE ENOUGH MONEY OFF DOUCHEBAGS FALLING FOR THEIR STUPID PROMOS...you can't afford a copywriter who has better writing skills than a highschool dropout?!
GOD this crap annoys me. Stop paying celebrities to do your ads and maybe hire someone qualified to do your marketing materials. And to add to that, f*cking stop being a bunch of cheap bastards and turn down the temperature in your gyms, it's so hot in almost all locations you're lucky people don't pass out.
OH and to finally add: get on the consistency planet and add the little TV listening doodad to your cardio equipment. MP3 players, especially iPods, don't have FM tuners...I'll take your "tune into 97.3" sign and shove it up your ass next time I want to watch something on TV but can't hear it.
Hmmm I guess for all my ranting I should go back to the gym...I've dawdled for numerous reasons, some of it being that I hate the people who only go in Jan/Feb...they just make it more crowded for the rest of us.
They're TOTALLY the McDonald's of gyms...they suck, they're not even healthy, but they work in a pinch when you don't have much of an alternative. GOD i hate them. And yet, I give them my money (I prepaid so going forward, it's just $50/year for the rest of my life. How on $50 they can maintain their always-broken equipment is beyond me).
Anyway, I went to their website to check out a class time and saw this spelling error:
request copy of aggrement
Are you f*cking kidding me?! THEY MAKE ENOUGH MONEY OFF DOUCHEBAGS FALLING FOR THEIR STUPID PROMOS...you can't afford a copywriter who has better writing skills than a highschool dropout?!
GOD this crap annoys me. Stop paying celebrities to do your ads and maybe hire someone qualified to do your marketing materials. And to add to that, f*cking stop being a bunch of cheap bastards and turn down the temperature in your gyms, it's so hot in almost all locations you're lucky people don't pass out.
OH and to finally add: get on the consistency planet and add the little TV listening doodad to your cardio equipment. MP3 players, especially iPods, don't have FM tuners...I'll take your "tune into 97.3" sign and shove it up your ass next time I want to watch something on TV but can't hear it.
Hmmm I guess for all my ranting I should go back to the gym...I've dawdled for numerous reasons, some of it being that I hate the people who only go in Jan/Feb...they just make it more crowded for the rest of us.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The glitz! The glamour! The....
...total snub by Angelina to Ryan Seacrest...
So I missed the Golden Globes. Only caught the beginning where Ricky Gervais went around taking pics of celebs with this iPhone.
I must say...my life will be incomplete without the following dresses:
So I missed the Golden Globes. Only caught the beginning where Ricky Gervais went around taking pics of celebs with this iPhone.
I must say...my life will be incomplete without the following dresses:
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Why i should be a teenage boy
(note: if you're reading this through facebook, i don't think the gif will animate)
I swear, this cracks me the eff up...in the movie this scene was horribly acted (the way it played in my brain was SO much better)...but this gif rocks my world:
My humor has reduced to a teenage boy's...
I swear, this cracks me the eff up...in the movie this scene was horribly acted (the way it played in my brain was SO much better)...but this gif rocks my world:
My humor has reduced to a teenage boy's...
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sexiest women alive
This list is still a work in process...gimme your feedback and I'LL decide where they fall on the list!
So as requested, here's my list of sexiest women. The list is divided in three:
1. The women who are just flat out HOT and SEXY.
2. Women who were hot at some point or under abnormal circumstances.
3. Women who are SO not sexy but everyone thinks they are.
The women who are just flat out HOT and SEXY
Aishwarya Rai
Don't know who she is? She's the single most gorgeous woman walking this earth. In face, she shouldn't be walking...she should be on some throne carried by Adonises (what's the plural for that?) while fed grapes. She's the reason it sucks to be HALF-Indian: she can pull off the dark skin, light eyes thing...if I had darker skin I'd totally rock the hazel contact lenses.
Still not convinced? Put the following video on mute and watch her work her mojo:
Megan Fox
She's the 2nd most sexy woman alive. She's very similar in appearance to Angelina Jolie, minus the age, stretch marks, and do-gooding crap. Even her admission that she was obsessed with a (female) stripper is sexy. I'll take her stalking me any day! (Bring along Brian Austin Green too...)
Jennifer Connelly
Does this woman ever age? Clearly no, which is why she's #3 on my list. I would kill for her nose. This nose is perfection. Obviously what I find attractive in men is what I find attractive in women too: dark hair, light eyes.
Women who were hot at some point or under abnormal circumstances
In no particular order:
Tina Fey
Only recently, since the birth of her kid would I say she's sexy. It's like she channeled her inner nerd and finally figured out how to balance it into hotness.
Miranda Kerr
I don't know why she's dating Orlando Bloom. He's such a douche. She is exactly what a Victoria's Secret model should be: young, bubbly, flirty, giggly...and again, dark hair with blue eyes.
Adriana Lima:
I actually don't LIKE her, she annoys me, but she's got the sexy thing down.
Leighton Meester
GOD what I wouldn't kill to be her. She's so flawless. She should forever keep her hair brown, as a blond she looks too washed out and forgettable.
Mila Kunis
She's got this crazy exotic thing going on, I feel like she could walk in a bar, demand every guy to buy her a drink, and they'd drool at her feet begging for more.
Jessica Biel when she's exercising
You wouldn't think thos normally, but on the Red Carpet I find her to be kind of fug. But when she's just vegging out on the beach or exercising, she is the most flawless female ever. Either way, I'd kill for her ass. She just has this cool confidence that looks sexy.
Jessica Alba pre baby
This is a no-brainer. But since she gave birth, it remains to be seen if she'll be able to bounce back to her sexiness. What i like about her is that she WORKS at that body, she doesn't claim to be naturally thin or anything retarded like that.
Kendra Wilkinson only in photos
We all know girl is annoying as f*ck (although I bet she'd be super fun to party with). And her hair is naturally frizzy. But give her a team of stylists and makeup artists and she smolders. She's got the sickest body...at least she's athletic.
Carmen Electra circa 2000
She's lookin' rough these days. But a small lifetime ago, this girl was IT. Dark hair, blue eyes, flirty look that screamed for more. Plus Prince saw something in her, so she MUST be sexy.
Pam Anderson circa 2000
I adore Pam. I really do. I can't say she's sexy anymore since her skin is pretty jacked up from partying, age, babies, Tommy, the sun...but how can you not find sexy a woman who makes fun of herself, enjoys being naked, AND loves animals?
Bridget Bardot circa...her youth
Today, this woman should crawl under a rock and die. Or be smashed by a rock. She's racist and is pro-animal cruelty. But you can't deny she exhuded sex.
Angelina Jolie anytime from Mr & Mrs Smith and earlier...but after Hackers (i.e. post nose job, pre babies)
There's a window where this woman was at the peak of her a-game. Those lips, those eyes, the eyebrows...perfection. She looked like she wanted sex AND would eat the man after, arachnid-style. The reason she's not in the "regular" list is because this whole baby thing jacked up her body, then her mom died and she got too thin, and now I feel like she's look "witchy" with her aging skin combined with the high eyebrow arch.
Kathleen turner circa Jessica Rabbit
C'mon. Jessica Rabbit. Need i say more?
NOT:
Keira Knightly: girl has the most amazing cheekbones on the planet, but she has a weird overbite/lisp thing that bugs me. I'll add her to the "sexy" list when she eats a few burgers and fixes her speech impediment.
And how is this dress in hollywood history!? It was NOT flattering.
Scarlett Johansson: damn this girl BUGS me. She's a complete butterface. Her body is bangin', but her lips lack a true definition (there's no "cupid's bow"), which is just gross.And no, it's not jealousy over having my man Ryan. She's seriously FUG.
Elle Macpherson: how was this woman ever attractive? She is so mannish it kills me.
Heidi Klum: she's gorgeous, but not SEXY. I feel like she'd start yodelling in the middle of sex. No one wants to hear that. No one.
Alessandra Ambrosia: ugh she's just gross.
Marilyn Monroe: okay, hear me out on this one. She's gorgeous. She's a legend. No one, EVER, will be like her. BUT...I went through a phase where I was reading biographies on her and I feel like her vulnerability and nuttiness interally remove my ability to see her as "sexy" in photos and videos. Every time I see her I feel like she needs a teddy bear, a hug, and a straightjacket. The last thing that girl should have been was a sex symbol. Gorgeous? Yes. Sexy? That's like calling a child "sexy".
So as requested, here's my list of sexiest women. The list is divided in three:
1. The women who are just flat out HOT and SEXY.
2. Women who were hot at some point or under abnormal circumstances.
3. Women who are SO not sexy but everyone thinks they are.
The women who are just flat out HOT and SEXY
Aishwarya Rai
Don't know who she is? She's the single most gorgeous woman walking this earth. In face, she shouldn't be walking...she should be on some throne carried by Adonises (what's the plural for that?) while fed grapes. She's the reason it sucks to be HALF-Indian: she can pull off the dark skin, light eyes thing...if I had darker skin I'd totally rock the hazel contact lenses.
Still not convinced? Put the following video on mute and watch her work her mojo:
Megan Fox
She's the 2nd most sexy woman alive. She's very similar in appearance to Angelina Jolie, minus the age, stretch marks, and do-gooding crap. Even her admission that she was obsessed with a (female) stripper is sexy. I'll take her stalking me any day! (Bring along Brian Austin Green too...)
Jennifer Connelly
Does this woman ever age? Clearly no, which is why she's #3 on my list. I would kill for her nose. This nose is perfection. Obviously what I find attractive in men is what I find attractive in women too: dark hair, light eyes.
Women who were hot at some point or under abnormal circumstances
In no particular order:
Tina Fey
Only recently, since the birth of her kid would I say she's sexy. It's like she channeled her inner nerd and finally figured out how to balance it into hotness.
Miranda Kerr
I don't know why she's dating Orlando Bloom. He's such a douche. She is exactly what a Victoria's Secret model should be: young, bubbly, flirty, giggly...and again, dark hair with blue eyes.
Adriana Lima:
I actually don't LIKE her, she annoys me, but she's got the sexy thing down.
Leighton Meester
GOD what I wouldn't kill to be her. She's so flawless. She should forever keep her hair brown, as a blond she looks too washed out and forgettable.
Mila Kunis
She's got this crazy exotic thing going on, I feel like she could walk in a bar, demand every guy to buy her a drink, and they'd drool at her feet begging for more.
Jessica Biel when she's exercising
You wouldn't think thos normally, but on the Red Carpet I find her to be kind of fug. But when she's just vegging out on the beach or exercising, she is the most flawless female ever. Either way, I'd kill for her ass. She just has this cool confidence that looks sexy.
Jessica Alba pre baby
This is a no-brainer. But since she gave birth, it remains to be seen if she'll be able to bounce back to her sexiness. What i like about her is that she WORKS at that body, she doesn't claim to be naturally thin or anything retarded like that.
Kendra Wilkinson only in photos
We all know girl is annoying as f*ck (although I bet she'd be super fun to party with). And her hair is naturally frizzy. But give her a team of stylists and makeup artists and she smolders. She's got the sickest body...at least she's athletic.
Carmen Electra circa 2000
She's lookin' rough these days. But a small lifetime ago, this girl was IT. Dark hair, blue eyes, flirty look that screamed for more. Plus Prince saw something in her, so she MUST be sexy.
Pam Anderson circa 2000
I adore Pam. I really do. I can't say she's sexy anymore since her skin is pretty jacked up from partying, age, babies, Tommy, the sun...but how can you not find sexy a woman who makes fun of herself, enjoys being naked, AND loves animals?
Bridget Bardot circa...her youth
Today, this woman should crawl under a rock and die. Or be smashed by a rock. She's racist and is pro-animal cruelty. But you can't deny she exhuded sex.
Angelina Jolie anytime from Mr & Mrs Smith and earlier...but after Hackers (i.e. post nose job, pre babies)
There's a window where this woman was at the peak of her a-game. Those lips, those eyes, the eyebrows...perfection. She looked like she wanted sex AND would eat the man after, arachnid-style. The reason she's not in the "regular" list is because this whole baby thing jacked up her body, then her mom died and she got too thin, and now I feel like she's look "witchy" with her aging skin combined with the high eyebrow arch.
Kathleen turner circa Jessica Rabbit
C'mon. Jessica Rabbit. Need i say more?
NOT:
Keira Knightly: girl has the most amazing cheekbones on the planet, but she has a weird overbite/lisp thing that bugs me. I'll add her to the "sexy" list when she eats a few burgers and fixes her speech impediment.
And how is this dress in hollywood history!? It was NOT flattering.
Scarlett Johansson: damn this girl BUGS me. She's a complete butterface. Her body is bangin', but her lips lack a true definition (there's no "cupid's bow"), which is just gross.And no, it's not jealousy over having my man Ryan. She's seriously FUG.
Elle Macpherson: how was this woman ever attractive? She is so mannish it kills me.
Heidi Klum: she's gorgeous, but not SEXY. I feel like she'd start yodelling in the middle of sex. No one wants to hear that. No one.
Alessandra Ambrosia: ugh she's just gross.
Marilyn Monroe: okay, hear me out on this one. She's gorgeous. She's a legend. No one, EVER, will be like her. BUT...I went through a phase where I was reading biographies on her and I feel like her vulnerability and nuttiness interally remove my ability to see her as "sexy" in photos and videos. Every time I see her I feel like she needs a teddy bear, a hug, and a straightjacket. The last thing that girl should have been was a sex symbol. Gorgeous? Yes. Sexy? That's like calling a child "sexy".
Friday, January 02, 2009
2009 New Year's Goals
For anyone not in the know of this blog, I do NOT do just random new year's resolutions.
I do New Year's "goals"...things that are broken down to monthly goals so that they're easier to check off.
Needless to say, I really REALLY screwed up on 2008's goals. Ask me how many I accomplished. No really, ask. I dare you. And then I dare you to listen to hours of my excuses to why I was too much of a lazy ass to get any of them done.
So now it's time for a new goals...and dammit, i WILL stick to them. Please don't shoot me for recycling some stuff for last year's goals.
EVERY Month:
1. Okay, time to frickin' do monthly breast exams. I don't feel like i'm grown up enough to do them, and I don't think my 32As (Bs if i'm lucky) have enough tissue to actually GET cancer, but fine...I'll do it.
2. Vitamins. For real. I became an avid flosser after I got braces because I didn't want to get plaque marks, and I've been anal about it ever since. Now it's time to be equally obsessive about vitamins, supplements, whatever it takes to make my hair thick again and to compensate for my crappy-assed diet.
January
- complete my other website about cube life(it's already up if you're bored but it's nowhere near complete, email me for the link 'cause i'm not posting it here)
February
- Create the Team Bitches website
March
- got a few books that I need to hanker down and read...it'll be me, wine, and my books
April
- time to seriously just sell the last chunk of crap off ebay
May
At this point...honestly...to revisit my goals...'cause I can't even think that far in advance.
Ugh. 2009. Another year older.
I had to edit to add...
You know what? SUCK IT. When i grow up I want to be fabulous. I want to be Andrea Belladonna (Jennifer Esposito's character on Samantha Who?)...brilliance:
"Oh, I will be SO happy when you've finally experienced everything and that spark of wonder in your eyes finally goes dark again!"
"I hoped you were dead! I mean I heard you were dead. And then I hoped it was true."
"Honey, I'm an attorney. Web of deceit is where I get my mail."
So...2009 is going to be the year of fabulousness. It means not being apologetic for my shallow and age-fearing ways. Oh I'll give back to the world, don't you worry. But dammit...that's the overall plan.
Along with making sure I don't get breast cancer.
I do New Year's "goals"...things that are broken down to monthly goals so that they're easier to check off.
Needless to say, I really REALLY screwed up on 2008's goals. Ask me how many I accomplished. No really, ask. I dare you. And then I dare you to listen to hours of my excuses to why I was too much of a lazy ass to get any of them done.
So now it's time for a new goals...and dammit, i WILL stick to them. Please don't shoot me for recycling some stuff for last year's goals.
EVERY Month:
1. Okay, time to frickin' do monthly breast exams. I don't feel like i'm grown up enough to do them, and I don't think my 32As (Bs if i'm lucky) have enough tissue to actually GET cancer, but fine...I'll do it.
2. Vitamins. For real. I became an avid flosser after I got braces because I didn't want to get plaque marks, and I've been anal about it ever since. Now it's time to be equally obsessive about vitamins, supplements, whatever it takes to make my hair thick again and to compensate for my crappy-assed diet.
January
- complete my other website about cube life(it's already up if you're bored but it's nowhere near complete, email me for the link 'cause i'm not posting it here)
February
- Create the Team Bitches website
March
- got a few books that I need to hanker down and read...it'll be me, wine, and my books
April
- time to seriously just sell the last chunk of crap off ebay
May
At this point...honestly...to revisit my goals...'cause I can't even think that far in advance.
Ugh. 2009. Another year older.
I had to edit to add...
You know what? SUCK IT. When i grow up I want to be fabulous. I want to be Andrea Belladonna (Jennifer Esposito's character on Samantha Who?)...brilliance:
"Oh, I will be SO happy when you've finally experienced everything and that spark of wonder in your eyes finally goes dark again!"
"I hoped you were dead! I mean I heard you were dead. And then I hoped it was true."
"Honey, I'm an attorney. Web of deceit is where I get my mail."
So...2009 is going to be the year of fabulousness. It means not being apologetic for my shallow and age-fearing ways. Oh I'll give back to the world, don't you worry. But dammit...that's the overall plan.
Along with making sure I don't get breast cancer.
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