Here it is folks... the last day in 2006. I'm gonna be honest witcha. This is pretty anti-climatic. So I've made a new vow: this is my last year being out and about for New Year's. As in...wherever I'm sleeping is where I plan on being when the clock strikes midnight. So whether it's a hotel, my house, someone else's house, whatever...by midnight, after this year, I plan on being in my jammies and ready for bed.
I know that makes me sound ridiculously boring but geezus, why bother counting down to January 1st anymore...it's not like we make a big deal when August 1st or April 1st arrives...I'm so over the hoopla of being able to throw out a calendar and making the mistake for a few weeks of writing the previous year out of force of habit.
Movie Review: Lady In The Water
Uh it wasn't my choice to have this in the netflix queue. I knew it would suck. And it did. That's 2 hours of my life I can't get back.
The gist of the movie is that there's water chick who needs to get to some far away land with the help of these people in an apartment complex, and there's this beast that's chasing her. The lady in the water is played by Ron Howard's daughter, who was in The Village (as the blind chick). So the whole movie everyone wants to help this poor girl/spirit-thing 'cause she's slowly dying and the entire time i was like "who gives a crap?! She's annoying. Let her die". She kept WHISPERING...if I had paid money for a theater ticket I would have been peeved 'cause you can't hear half the allegedly inspirational crap she says.
In Eleanor News....
So I finally washed Eleanor (my Rav4) for the first time since buying it. HOLY CRAP. There's a significant difference between washing an SUV and washing a compact car. It took me frickin' forever. Granted I was being wayyy more meticulous and I had to scrub like mad to get the stupid berry stains that get on my car because the morons at the Irvine Company planted berry trees at work. And then I waxed my car. BY HAND.
The only thing I have to do is vacuum the inside and hose off the rubber floor mats.
I am one dedicated mofo. I used all Maguiar's products thanks to Ryan and Nicole...I gotta admit, that stuff is kickass in comparison to the cheapie stuff I used to use.
Anyway I'm gonna go take a nap...gotta rest up for my last new year's of partying (and by partying i mean...not being at home with my cats).
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Let there be light
Yayyyy finally got Kraig's old (but newer) computer hooked up, gasp and here I thought our internet connection was slow...turns out, that other computer is just unacceptably old. That being said, Kraig bought this one under the guise of microsoft "works" so it doesn't have half the stuff that a normal computer should have, but that's the least of the problems if i get off my ass and just install stuff.
Xmas: it came. It saw. It left.
On the phone with my mom right now. How do people have interesting conversations with their moms? I have to limit what i say regarding opinions because then she flips out...right now she's asking me if people freak out when they see the jewelry they got me because it's so "different", and i had to point out that I work with a ton of different cultures, including Indian, so it's not a big deal...and now she's telling me how to make my grandmother's meatballs and whether i still have my weird neighbor...
Yeah, i'll write more of a year's wrap up when I actually get my brain out of my ass and think of something witty to say....
Xmas: it came. It saw. It left.
On the phone with my mom right now. How do people have interesting conversations with their moms? I have to limit what i say regarding opinions because then she flips out...right now she's asking me if people freak out when they see the jewelry they got me because it's so "different", and i had to point out that I work with a ton of different cultures, including Indian, so it's not a big deal...and now she's telling me how to make my grandmother's meatballs and whether i still have my weird neighbor...
Yeah, i'll write more of a year's wrap up when I actually get my brain out of my ass and think of something witty to say....
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Movie Reviews
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I wasn't really in the mood to see this because I've been super disappointed with movies where Will Ferrell is the star. He should just go back to SNL (MORE COWBEL!!).
ANyway, I was pleasantly surprised. Basically the gist of the story is this kid Ricky Bobby who's dad is never around because he's a race car driver, so Ricky Bobby aspires to be the same, makes it to the top, then has an "accident", flops to the bottom, and has to make it to the big leagues again using his own inner strength.
There's a ton of celebrity cameos in this movie, probably the best one where Ricky Bobby and the french guy walk along the french guy's property and Ricky Bobby says : "Was that Mos Def and Elvis Costello?"
Girard "No"
(insert confused look on Ricky BObby's face)....ahhh you'd have to see it to get it.
Anyway, I would have been peeved if I paid $11 to see it in the theater but as a Netflix rental, it was great.
Thank You For Smoking
Now my standards were VERY high for this movie. So...all I can say is...they met my standards. THey didn't exceed them, didn't go below them...they were just right.
The movie is about a dude who's a lobbyist for the cigarette companies, how he's hated, but still provides some very valid points in favor of the cigarette companies.
The opening scene shows the dude on a tv show with anti-cigarette agency people, and the Lobbyist Guy (forgot his name) says that cigarette companies don't WANT their customers to die of cancer because then they're losing customers and money...it's the anti-smoking groups that want Cancer Boy to die so they have another statistic to help their cause. Brilliant.
It's extremely dark, and you'll be forced to see Katie Holmes play a sexy reporter (I'm sorry, but she still looks like a 15 year old kid from Dawson's Creek to me), but overall HIGHLY recommended.
I wasn't really in the mood to see this because I've been super disappointed with movies where Will Ferrell is the star. He should just go back to SNL (MORE COWBEL!!).
ANyway, I was pleasantly surprised. Basically the gist of the story is this kid Ricky Bobby who's dad is never around because he's a race car driver, so Ricky Bobby aspires to be the same, makes it to the top, then has an "accident", flops to the bottom, and has to make it to the big leagues again using his own inner strength.
There's a ton of celebrity cameos in this movie, probably the best one where Ricky Bobby and the french guy walk along the french guy's property and Ricky Bobby says : "Was that Mos Def and Elvis Costello?"
Girard "No"
(insert confused look on Ricky BObby's face)....ahhh you'd have to see it to get it.
Anyway, I would have been peeved if I paid $11 to see it in the theater but as a Netflix rental, it was great.
Thank You For Smoking
Now my standards were VERY high for this movie. So...all I can say is...they met my standards. THey didn't exceed them, didn't go below them...they were just right.
The movie is about a dude who's a lobbyist for the cigarette companies, how he's hated, but still provides some very valid points in favor of the cigarette companies.
The opening scene shows the dude on a tv show with anti-cigarette agency people, and the Lobbyist Guy (forgot his name) says that cigarette companies don't WANT their customers to die of cancer because then they're losing customers and money...it's the anti-smoking groups that want Cancer Boy to die so they have another statistic to help their cause. Brilliant.
It's extremely dark, and you'll be forced to see Katie Holmes play a sexy reporter (I'm sorry, but she still looks like a 15 year old kid from Dawson's Creek to me), but overall HIGHLY recommended.
Letter to the Editor
BTW, Sabina I am blaming you for hooking me on The OC. :P
Oh and unless some wierd storm front blows in within the next 72 hours Ottawa will be having it's first brown Christmas. No snow at all, zero, zilch... It's almost too warm to wear a winter coat. :)
Hey, it's the last season for the OC so you shouldn't complain :P And Taylor is wayyyyy more entertaining than effing Marissa.
There was one time when we were super young that we didn't have a white Xmas...at least, from my memories....Kind of crazy though to imagine Ottawa without snow this time of year, usually you have to wear a winter coat on Hallowe'en because it would snow at the end of October...
Oh and unless some wierd storm front blows in within the next 72 hours Ottawa will be having it's first brown Christmas. No snow at all, zero, zilch... It's almost too warm to wear a winter coat. :)
Hey, it's the last season for the OC so you shouldn't complain :P And Taylor is wayyyyy more entertaining than effing Marissa.
There was one time when we were super young that we didn't have a white Xmas...at least, from my memories....Kind of crazy though to imagine Ottawa without snow this time of year, usually you have to wear a winter coat on Hallowe'en because it would snow at the end of October...
Holiday Randomness
Arrraghghgh...
Last minute gift wrapping...blah. I swear I hate Xmas so effing bad.
The latest on the MOrris situation: nothing in the traps, Kraig insists that he licked a bit of the poison and that he's dead in the garage. Personally, I can't smell anything (I mean, it's a GARAGE...it's not going to smell like a frickin' spa) but he's positive there's something there.
so he saw a fly in the garage and now thinks that the fly is going to find Morris' body, lay eggs, then we'll get maggots. My mentality is that if that IS true, at least we'll eventually find the corpse.
Side note: I really don't think he's in the garage anymore. And i'm more freaked out by black widow spiders like Ursula in my garage at this point.
So i told him that when we get back from visiting the in-laws, we'll clear out the garage and search for Morris.
Crap, I think the pumpkin bread in the oven is burning.
Last minute gift wrapping...blah. I swear I hate Xmas so effing bad.
The latest on the MOrris situation: nothing in the traps, Kraig insists that he licked a bit of the poison and that he's dead in the garage. Personally, I can't smell anything (I mean, it's a GARAGE...it's not going to smell like a frickin' spa) but he's positive there's something there.
so he saw a fly in the garage and now thinks that the fly is going to find Morris' body, lay eggs, then we'll get maggots. My mentality is that if that IS true, at least we'll eventually find the corpse.
Side note: I really don't think he's in the garage anymore. And i'm more freaked out by black widow spiders like Ursula in my garage at this point.
So i told him that when we get back from visiting the in-laws, we'll clear out the garage and search for Morris.
Crap, I think the pumpkin bread in the oven is burning.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Best Movie of 2007
They shouldn't even bother releasing any other movie in 2007. This is gonna be the best...just make the entire academy awards in 2008 devoted to this film.
I love that the little girl at the end has a My Little Pony plush....
Yeah, I'm really slack on writing these days. The holidays will be better. If anyone cares. Or maybe not, since you guys are all smarter for NOT having had anything to read on this blog lately...
Also, I really think it should be C*ck in a Box...not D*ck in a Box (for anyone who saw SNL this past weekend...effing hilarious):
A'ight, that's it for now...
I love that the little girl at the end has a My Little Pony plush....
Yeah, I'm really slack on writing these days. The holidays will be better. If anyone cares. Or maybe not, since you guys are all smarter for NOT having had anything to read on this blog lately...
Also, I really think it should be C*ck in a Box...not D*ck in a Box (for anyone who saw SNL this past weekend...effing hilarious):
A'ight, that's it for now...
Friday, December 15, 2006
A Benihanas Christmas
The Morris situation: grim.
The old-skool traps didn't work, and now the PB on them has gotten all hard, so i don't know if it's still delectable. I'm tired of not parking in the garage! So last night I told Kraig to just put a plate of PB in the garage and see if he eats any of it so we know he's still alive.
This morning, the PB was untouched...so my guess is that he's left Team H's domain.
the killer part is every day when I get home, I park outside the garage and scope out the trap situation...but they're along the wall tucked away so i have to get REALLY close (and for one f them, i have to get on the ground because Kraig's mustang is blocking my path)...and every single time I get freaked out at the one by the trash because ther'es twigs there and they look like tails and then i think i'm seeing Morris and I pretty much start yelling and shrieking without actually SEEING anything.
In other news, The Office was so mind boggingly fantastic, I don't know where to begin. I swear, I really feel like I work there. I wish I did, kinda.
Maybe last night rocked so much because RIcky Gervais (from teh british Office) helped write the episode.
A few bright moments, in no particular order:
1. "Benihanas is the asian Hooters"
2. When Michael marked the arm of the Benihanas chick because he couldn't tell the two asian girls apart.
3. Every time Jim saw Karen and Pam in cahoots with each other...his face was of pure panic.
4. When Jim discussed rebound relationships with Michael...knowing all along he was talking about Karen.
5. The explanation of the two different holiday party signs.
6.Angela: "Why did you take that?"
Benihanas chick: "oh I thought we could take them"
Angela: "I don't go into your house and take your hello kitty backpack!"...oh snap!
7. Michael photoshopping his face onto Carol's ex-husband's face for his holiday card.
8. Jim telling Dwight the waitress caught a goose and doesn't know how to properly kill it, so Dwight explains to the confused waitress how to slit the throat....
9. Tobey's infatuation with the bathrobes sent from corporate.
10. The ultimate moment: when Dwight is on the rooftop waiting for teh CIA helicopter, only to be texted that he has been compromised and must destroy the phone.
The old-skool traps didn't work, and now the PB on them has gotten all hard, so i don't know if it's still delectable. I'm tired of not parking in the garage! So last night I told Kraig to just put a plate of PB in the garage and see if he eats any of it so we know he's still alive.
This morning, the PB was untouched...so my guess is that he's left Team H's domain.
the killer part is every day when I get home, I park outside the garage and scope out the trap situation...but they're along the wall tucked away so i have to get REALLY close (and for one f them, i have to get on the ground because Kraig's mustang is blocking my path)...and every single time I get freaked out at the one by the trash because ther'es twigs there and they look like tails and then i think i'm seeing Morris and I pretty much start yelling and shrieking without actually SEEING anything.
In other news, The Office was so mind boggingly fantastic, I don't know where to begin. I swear, I really feel like I work there. I wish I did, kinda.
Maybe last night rocked so much because RIcky Gervais (from teh british Office) helped write the episode.
A few bright moments, in no particular order:
1. "Benihanas is the asian Hooters"
2. When Michael marked the arm of the Benihanas chick because he couldn't tell the two asian girls apart.
3. Every time Jim saw Karen and Pam in cahoots with each other...his face was of pure panic.
4. When Jim discussed rebound relationships with Michael...knowing all along he was talking about Karen.
5. The explanation of the two different holiday party signs.
6.Angela: "Why did you take that?"
Benihanas chick: "oh I thought we could take them"
Angela: "I don't go into your house and take your hello kitty backpack!"...oh snap!
7. Michael photoshopping his face onto Carol's ex-husband's face for his holiday card.
8. Jim telling Dwight the waitress caught a goose and doesn't know how to properly kill it, so Dwight explains to the confused waitress how to slit the throat....
9. Tobey's infatuation with the bathrobes sent from corporate.
10. The ultimate moment: when Dwight is on the rooftop waiting for teh CIA helicopter, only to be texted that he has been compromised and must destroy the phone.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Of Mice and Men
This is the tale...of US vs. MORRIS.
Sunday, December 10th
So I'm ready to get a bunch of stuff accomplished...I wanted to clean my car (thanks to our advertisers, Maguiars) and then haul ass on something for work. I gave Kraig the project of installing the free keypad garage door opener I scored off Freecycle.
Kraig hollers at me that he wants me to write down the code from the garage door opener while he reads it out (it's written on the mechanism, which is on the ceiling)...so we're standing outside, and as Kraig goes to walk to the back of the garage I see this HUGE thing scurry from the top of the doorframe (the door that leads into the house) along the wall.
I start screaming that it's a rat, and really...if you recall the Bruno incident...I do NOT do well with creepy crawly things. Rats included. So i'm out on the street shrieking and yelling and smacking myself with my hands in order to get imaginary rats off of me, and Kraig starts the hunt to find the rat.
The rat named Morris.
So Morris sneaks into this pile of cardboard crap along one side of the garage. Cardboard crap includes folded up boxes and this HUGE Mulan movie display that an ex boyfriend stole out of the movie theater for me 10 years ago and Kraig woudln't let me throw it out. So Kraig's tossing hte cardboard out on the street in order to clear out the garage and find MOrris, I'm texting Carrie and Nicole D flipping out, this kid on his bike comes over and watches all of this laughing...
I got on the phone with Carrie and suddenly I had to let her go 'cause i saw this BIG BLACK THING moving along one of the boxes tossed from the garage...it was a mutha f*cking HUGE black widow spider. I knew that sometimes we had little baby ones, but this thing was flippin' MASSIVE.
Imagine this looking at you:
Now i'm REALLY freaking out. Kraig comes over, and even he's freaked out a bit (the dude loves bugs and crap, and growing up in California he's pretty unphased by black widow spiders...growing up in OTtawa, I've never seen a black widow in my LIFE, let alone one the size of a cat)...he tried to kick it away but it kept crawling back to the garage, so finally i shoved a piece of cardboard on it and stomped on it (which, apparently, is the most effective method of killing black widows and their egg sacks according to my online research).
I can't even BEGIN to tell you the amount of goo that comes out of a huge black widow spider. It was like someone poured syrup all over my driveway.
And by driveway, i mean the 2 foot space between my garage door and the street.
So back to MOrris.
Kraig has him cornered behind a chunk of cardboard, and asks what he should do, i'm yelling things that probably weren't even English, so he KICKS the cardboard, Morris gets away...
Finally he tells me I need to get some traps.
Side note: rats are nasty and carry a billion diseases. The last time I saw a rat ready to attack me was when i was in a 3rd world country and a rat popped it's head out of the DRAIN...and i was SHOWERING...not cool. Not cool at all.Seriously traumatized me.
I drive to Home Depot (where I called Nicole D in order to continue flipping out) to get my trap action on. I rush in, tell them I need to find their lead rat expert, and the dude tells me how I need to use the big sticky traps.
For those not in the know, basically it's a piece of plastic coated with this uber sticky stuff. You place some peanut butter in the middle and the rat goes for it, and then gets stuck, and basically dies a slow painful death.
Good times.
So i buy 2 packs (2 traps each = 4 traps) and some rat poison for good measure.
Get home, and Kraig tells me how those traps are mean, blah blah. So i tell him to put the poison in the center, PLUS the pb, then that way Morris can at least die faster once he's on teh trap.
So he puts on trap in this cupboard that apparently Morris had been hiding in, and one over by some shelving.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 1
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Monday, December 11
I get up and I'm pretty cranky because I had to park my car outside so that Kraig could park his car in the garage. No WAYYY am I parking in the garage where Morris is ready to either eat me or at the very least, chew on the wires in my car.
Before you laugh at that last comment, apparently where I work there's a problem with rats doing that to people's cars that are parked in front. So suck it.
I get home, call Kraig, and because I can't figure out how to turn off Bluetooth in my car he ends up on speakerphone...I told him to stay on the line while I scoped out the Morris situation...I go to check the rat traps...nope, no Morris. However opening the cupboard door freaked me out so much I ran out of the garage shrieking and yelling, which could be heard from the car (since my car has a speaker and receiver for bluetooth calls), and Kraig was near his friend Chris who was LAUGHING his head off 'cause he could hear me yelling, and now everyoneo n the street could hear me yelling and kraig and chris laughing from my car's speakers.
So when Kraig got home, he pointed out that the poison cube raised the peanut butter so high, that MOrris had figured out how to lick it off without actually getting on the trap. He removed the poison and just put a blob of pb on the traps, and put them back in the garage.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 2
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Tuesday, December 12th
Now at this point I"m really annoyed and tired of parking outside, so once again I drive up to the garage after work and scope out the trap situation.
Mutha effa.
MOrris had somehow eaten ALL the peanut butter off the traps.
I went to park outside again.
Kraig comes home, and he's stressed over work stuff and he's also getting nervous about MOrris eating his comic book collection (stored in the garage) 'cause that's what happened to his comics at his mom's house. He goes to get the traps...
WTF...there were rat pawprints all OVER the traps! Those things aren't sticky at all! Although the trap managed to shred a huge chunk of skin/fur off of Morris, he still got away. So now i'm tired, hungry (I had just gotten home), and ready to flip on Morris and his furry ass. Kraig was busy with work, so I took the 2 traps covered in pawprints and the package of unopened traps back to Home Depot.
I get to Home Depot,a nd i'm like "WTF there's PAW PRINTS...this stuff sucks!" and the guy was all "Hey, weren't you the one who was here on Sunday? We were talking about you today".
Me: "Uhh...why?"
Home Depot Dude: "'cause we saw 3 rats hanging out on the shelves in Aisle 3"
Me: "Wait, you have rats?"
Home Depot Dude: "Oh yeah, no big deal we have them everywhere here, but never just hanging out all three on a shelf like that"
Me: "I'm going to VOMIT now. I want to return these traps"...
The dude felt so bad fo rme that he also refunded me the rat poison, even though I didn't take it back for a refund.
Team H's new strategy: old skool snap traps. At $1.97 each, I could afford 3.
I get home and get Kraig to show me how these suckers work. The only time I've ever seen a trap work was in cartoons. Those things are CRAZY dangerous. And super sensitive. We slather peanut butter on the bait trigger thingy and Kraig goes to set them up in the garage.
I didn't hear any loud snapping noises at night, but then again I also didn't hear Kraig wash up and go to bed 'cause I passed out after watching The Colbert Report.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 3
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Home Depot: stuffed with irony...they sell rat traps and yet, have a rat problem.
Wednesday, December 13th
Waiting to hear back from Kraig if maybe over the night MOrris got snapped. Otherwise, stay tuned.
The Morris saga continues!
Sunday, December 10th
So I'm ready to get a bunch of stuff accomplished...I wanted to clean my car (thanks to our advertisers, Maguiars) and then haul ass on something for work. I gave Kraig the project of installing the free keypad garage door opener I scored off Freecycle.
Kraig hollers at me that he wants me to write down the code from the garage door opener while he reads it out (it's written on the mechanism, which is on the ceiling)...so we're standing outside, and as Kraig goes to walk to the back of the garage I see this HUGE thing scurry from the top of the doorframe (the door that leads into the house) along the wall.
I start screaming that it's a rat, and really...if you recall the Bruno incident...I do NOT do well with creepy crawly things. Rats included. So i'm out on the street shrieking and yelling and smacking myself with my hands in order to get imaginary rats off of me, and Kraig starts the hunt to find the rat.
The rat named Morris.
So Morris sneaks into this pile of cardboard crap along one side of the garage. Cardboard crap includes folded up boxes and this HUGE Mulan movie display that an ex boyfriend stole out of the movie theater for me 10 years ago and Kraig woudln't let me throw it out. So Kraig's tossing hte cardboard out on the street in order to clear out the garage and find MOrris, I'm texting Carrie and Nicole D flipping out, this kid on his bike comes over and watches all of this laughing...
I got on the phone with Carrie and suddenly I had to let her go 'cause i saw this BIG BLACK THING moving along one of the boxes tossed from the garage...it was a mutha f*cking HUGE black widow spider. I knew that sometimes we had little baby ones, but this thing was flippin' MASSIVE.
Imagine this looking at you:
Now i'm REALLY freaking out. Kraig comes over, and even he's freaked out a bit (the dude loves bugs and crap, and growing up in California he's pretty unphased by black widow spiders...growing up in OTtawa, I've never seen a black widow in my LIFE, let alone one the size of a cat)...he tried to kick it away but it kept crawling back to the garage, so finally i shoved a piece of cardboard on it and stomped on it (which, apparently, is the most effective method of killing black widows and their egg sacks according to my online research).
I can't even BEGIN to tell you the amount of goo that comes out of a huge black widow spider. It was like someone poured syrup all over my driveway.
And by driveway, i mean the 2 foot space between my garage door and the street.
So back to MOrris.
Kraig has him cornered behind a chunk of cardboard, and asks what he should do, i'm yelling things that probably weren't even English, so he KICKS the cardboard, Morris gets away...
Finally he tells me I need to get some traps.
Side note: rats are nasty and carry a billion diseases. The last time I saw a rat ready to attack me was when i was in a 3rd world country and a rat popped it's head out of the DRAIN...and i was SHOWERING...not cool. Not cool at all.Seriously traumatized me.
I drive to Home Depot (where I called Nicole D in order to continue flipping out) to get my trap action on. I rush in, tell them I need to find their lead rat expert, and the dude tells me how I need to use the big sticky traps.
For those not in the know, basically it's a piece of plastic coated with this uber sticky stuff. You place some peanut butter in the middle and the rat goes for it, and then gets stuck, and basically dies a slow painful death.
Good times.
So i buy 2 packs (2 traps each = 4 traps) and some rat poison for good measure.
Get home, and Kraig tells me how those traps are mean, blah blah. So i tell him to put the poison in the center, PLUS the pb, then that way Morris can at least die faster once he's on teh trap.
So he puts on trap in this cupboard that apparently Morris had been hiding in, and one over by some shelving.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 1
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Monday, December 11
I get up and I'm pretty cranky because I had to park my car outside so that Kraig could park his car in the garage. No WAYYY am I parking in the garage where Morris is ready to either eat me or at the very least, chew on the wires in my car.
Before you laugh at that last comment, apparently where I work there's a problem with rats doing that to people's cars that are parked in front. So suck it.
I get home, call Kraig, and because I can't figure out how to turn off Bluetooth in my car he ends up on speakerphone...I told him to stay on the line while I scoped out the Morris situation...I go to check the rat traps...nope, no Morris. However opening the cupboard door freaked me out so much I ran out of the garage shrieking and yelling, which could be heard from the car (since my car has a speaker and receiver for bluetooth calls), and Kraig was near his friend Chris who was LAUGHING his head off 'cause he could hear me yelling, and now everyoneo n the street could hear me yelling and kraig and chris laughing from my car's speakers.
So when Kraig got home, he pointed out that the poison cube raised the peanut butter so high, that MOrris had figured out how to lick it off without actually getting on the trap. He removed the poison and just put a blob of pb on the traps, and put them back in the garage.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 2
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Tuesday, December 12th
Now at this point I"m really annoyed and tired of parking outside, so once again I drive up to the garage after work and scope out the trap situation.
Mutha effa.
MOrris had somehow eaten ALL the peanut butter off the traps.
I went to park outside again.
Kraig comes home, and he's stressed over work stuff and he's also getting nervous about MOrris eating his comic book collection (stored in the garage) 'cause that's what happened to his comics at his mom's house. He goes to get the traps...
WTF...there were rat pawprints all OVER the traps! Those things aren't sticky at all! Although the trap managed to shred a huge chunk of skin/fur off of Morris, he still got away. So now i'm tired, hungry (I had just gotten home), and ready to flip on Morris and his furry ass. Kraig was busy with work, so I took the 2 traps covered in pawprints and the package of unopened traps back to Home Depot.
I get to Home Depot,a nd i'm like "WTF there's PAW PRINTS...this stuff sucks!" and the guy was all "Hey, weren't you the one who was here on Sunday? We were talking about you today".
Me: "Uhh...why?"
Home Depot Dude: "'cause we saw 3 rats hanging out on the shelves in Aisle 3"
Me: "Wait, you have rats?"
Home Depot Dude: "Oh yeah, no big deal we have them everywhere here, but never just hanging out all three on a shelf like that"
Me: "I'm going to VOMIT now. I want to return these traps"...
The dude felt so bad fo rme that he also refunded me the rat poison, even though I didn't take it back for a refund.
Team H's new strategy: old skool snap traps. At $1.97 each, I could afford 3.
I get home and get Kraig to show me how these suckers work. The only time I've ever seen a trap work was in cartoons. Those things are CRAZY dangerous. And super sensitive. We slather peanut butter on the bait trigger thingy and Kraig goes to set them up in the garage.
I didn't hear any loud snapping noises at night, but then again I also didn't hear Kraig wash up and go to bed 'cause I passed out after watching The Colbert Report.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 3
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Home Depot: stuffed with irony...they sell rat traps and yet, have a rat problem.
Wednesday, December 13th
Waiting to hear back from Kraig if maybe over the night MOrris got snapped. Otherwise, stay tuned.
The Morris saga continues!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
TBS: My Boys
So as usual, last night I was zonked and crashed in front of the tv when I got home (I worked late, so I'm allowed to!).
Started flipping through the channels, which is pretty dumb considering I'm heavily backlogged on my DVR viewing. Plus i've got 2 DVDs of last season's Nip/Tuck I gotta watch. Anyway I caught the tail end of TBS' version of Sex and The City (does it ever get old? Answer: OH HELL NO. SATC is so timeless), and then I got the little promo saying that the new show My Boys would be coming up next...
I saw a ton of commercials for it (becuase I watch a ton of tv, naturally) and decided to give it a whirl...
OMG.
I absolutelyLOVED My Boys. It's basically about a single chick who's got 1 female best friend and like 6 best guy friends who get together regularly for poker. She's a guy's girl, but it's funny because she has no qualms telling these guys what we chicks would LOVE to tell dudes.
Why this show kicks ass:
1. It's original. I really can't think of any other show that compares to it. The premise is good, and the characters are likeable.
2. It's got Kyle Howard...he was in Grosse Pointe on the WB way back in the day, which was another brilliant show that sadly got axed before it's time (that was back when WB was still new and pretty much only had Seventh Heaven as it's claim to fame). You can't go wrong when Kyle Howard stars in your show.
3. The main chick (AJ? DJ? TJ? whatever)...not overly pretty but still cute, she's the type who can play every girl's best friend. Good casting choice.
4. It's NOT set in LA or New York. Gasp, there's other places in the US? Really? Wow.
5. You can watch the episodes online if you missed any.
6. It's got new age wit, which alot of tv shows lack...even Gilmore Girls is outdated in it's use of wit, even though it was probably one of the wittiest shows back in it's hayday.
On other news, I still have to put up the photos on Shutterfly from my visit with my brother. GET OFF MY BACK! I'm busy!
Started flipping through the channels, which is pretty dumb considering I'm heavily backlogged on my DVR viewing. Plus i've got 2 DVDs of last season's Nip/Tuck I gotta watch. Anyway I caught the tail end of TBS' version of Sex and The City (does it ever get old? Answer: OH HELL NO. SATC is so timeless), and then I got the little promo saying that the new show My Boys would be coming up next...
I saw a ton of commercials for it (becuase I watch a ton of tv, naturally) and decided to give it a whirl...
OMG.
I absolutely
Why this show kicks ass:
1. It's original. I really can't think of any other show that compares to it. The premise is good, and the characters are likeable.
2. It's got Kyle Howard...he was in Grosse Pointe on the WB way back in the day, which was another brilliant show that sadly got axed before it's time (that was back when WB was still new and pretty much only had Seventh Heaven as it's claim to fame). You can't go wrong when Kyle Howard stars in your show.
3. The main chick (AJ? DJ? TJ? whatever)...not overly pretty but still cute, she's the type who can play every girl's best friend. Good casting choice.
4. It's NOT set in LA or New York. Gasp, there's other places in the US? Really? Wow.
5. You can watch the episodes online if you missed any.
6. It's got new age wit, which alot of tv shows lack...even Gilmore Girls is outdated in it's use of wit, even though it was probably one of the wittiest shows back in it's hayday.
On other news, I still have to put up the photos on Shutterfly from my visit with my brother. GET OFF MY BACK! I'm busy!
Monday, December 04, 2006
Movie Reviews
Will
write
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Cars
Everyone kept telling me how fantastic this movie was, yadda yadda. So my standards were somewhat high, although not overly high because I wasn't enthusiastic about seeing it even when it was in the theaters.
It's a pretty decent movie if you can tolerate that it stars a snide cocky red car...played by snide cocky Owen Wilson. After awhile, his "sneering" voice grated my nerves.
The major redeeming quality was the little movie reel at the end of the credits with John Ratzenberger pointing out how they keep re-using the same (i.e. HIS) voice in every Disney movie.
XMen 3: The Last Stand
Background history:
1. Yes, I've read the comics.
2. I've loved XMen (mostly the cartoons) since I was 15, when I babysat for kids that watched it nonstop.
3. Jean Grey annoyed me then, and still annoys me now. "Oh, i have a headache, now i'm going to faint".
4. Even more than my hatred for Jean Grey is the stupid Phoenix plotline from the comics/cartoons.
I thought XMen 1 was okay...It didn't blow me away, mostly because Rogue is supposed to be a sassy sexy chick and Anna Paquin is too young and too ugly to play her. And because Halle Barry is SOOO not Storm...Storm would be better played by Ima'an or someone more regal. And Jean Grey...i can't stand Famke Janssen, she should be played by Angie Everheart or something. Other than Professor X, Magneto, and Wolverine, i really wasnt' impressed with their casting selection.
XMen 2 annoyed me, because they can't get Storm's hair to look half decent, because Rogue STILL bugged me, becuase I didn't like that asian chick with the same adamantium that wolverine has...I don't like when movies get overly cliche, like "oh gee we need a hot asian chick who can kick ass. See if Lucy Liu is available".
Xmen 3...well...any movie that features Jean Grey prominantly is enough to make me gouge my eyes out.
In this movie, the Phoenix takes over Jean Grey and everyone's gotta stop it. First off, they go from one scene in complete daylight to the next one being nighttime...uhhh did the time change within a split second?
Secondly, Magneto moves the Golden Gate bridge over to Alcatraz. HELLO...it's a suspension bridge...if you rip it it from the sides it's not going to stay up on it's own anymore!
Thirdly, I fail to believe the government would use Alcatraz...not just because it's a historical landmark, but because the building is decrepit and falling apart and you can't exactly modernize it asap.
Fourthly...and big fourthly...when the Phoenix gets pissed she starts floating (why? Why float?) and everything starts to break and there's chaos and lots of wind and Wolverine has to get to her in time before the whole world is torn to shreds. Why do evil characters automatically destroy stuff? Who cares? Let her destroy earth, now where is she gonna live and get her hair done and find her food? Why does she have to BREAK STUFF just 'cause she's powerful? It just seems pointless.
Anyway, if you can get over your hatred for Jean Grey (as clearly I can't), the movie is entertaining but riddled with flaws.
The Benchwarmers
Every now and then you need a no-brainer movie featuring tons of ex-SNL cast members.
Out of all the movies I saw this past weekend, this one was probably the best. Maybe becuase I just wanted some cheesy, low grade humor. The scene stealer was Nick Swardson as David Spade's brother Howie...they could make a movie just on him (he was terrified of the sun).
The only odd things were to see Jon Heder in an SNL movie (he sort of sticks out a bit), and that Rob Schneider plays a "cool" guy (when is he cool?! NEVER!). But overall, it was a pretty funny and entertaining movie.
Yeah, not the greatest reviews, but that's my summary so suck it.
write
more
late
Cars
Everyone kept telling me how fantastic this movie was, yadda yadda. So my standards were somewhat high, although not overly high because I wasn't enthusiastic about seeing it even when it was in the theaters.
It's a pretty decent movie if you can tolerate that it stars a snide cocky red car...played by snide cocky Owen Wilson. After awhile, his "sneering" voice grated my nerves.
The major redeeming quality was the little movie reel at the end of the credits with John Ratzenberger pointing out how they keep re-using the same (i.e. HIS) voice in every Disney movie.
XMen 3: The Last Stand
Background history:
1. Yes, I've read the comics.
2. I've loved XMen (mostly the cartoons) since I was 15, when I babysat for kids that watched it nonstop.
3. Jean Grey annoyed me then, and still annoys me now. "Oh, i have a headache, now i'm going to faint".
4. Even more than my hatred for Jean Grey is the stupid Phoenix plotline from the comics/cartoons.
I thought XMen 1 was okay...It didn't blow me away, mostly because Rogue is supposed to be a sassy sexy chick and Anna Paquin is too young and too ugly to play her. And because Halle Barry is SOOO not Storm...Storm would be better played by Ima'an or someone more regal. And Jean Grey...i can't stand Famke Janssen, she should be played by Angie Everheart or something. Other than Professor X, Magneto, and Wolverine, i really wasnt' impressed with their casting selection.
XMen 2 annoyed me, because they can't get Storm's hair to look half decent, because Rogue STILL bugged me, becuase I didn't like that asian chick with the same adamantium that wolverine has...I don't like when movies get overly cliche, like "oh gee we need a hot asian chick who can kick ass. See if Lucy Liu is available".
Xmen 3...well...any movie that features Jean Grey prominantly is enough to make me gouge my eyes out.
In this movie, the Phoenix takes over Jean Grey and everyone's gotta stop it. First off, they go from one scene in complete daylight to the next one being nighttime...uhhh did the time change within a split second?
Secondly, Magneto moves the Golden Gate bridge over to Alcatraz. HELLO...it's a suspension bridge...if you rip it it from the sides it's not going to stay up on it's own anymore!
Thirdly, I fail to believe the government would use Alcatraz...not just because it's a historical landmark, but because the building is decrepit and falling apart and you can't exactly modernize it asap.
Fourthly...and big fourthly...when the Phoenix gets pissed she starts floating (why? Why float?) and everything starts to break and there's chaos and lots of wind and Wolverine has to get to her in time before the whole world is torn to shreds. Why do evil characters automatically destroy stuff? Who cares? Let her destroy earth, now where is she gonna live and get her hair done and find her food? Why does she have to BREAK STUFF just 'cause she's powerful? It just seems pointless.
Anyway, if you can get over your hatred for Jean Grey (as clearly I can't), the movie is entertaining but riddled with flaws.
The Benchwarmers
Every now and then you need a no-brainer movie featuring tons of ex-SNL cast members.
Out of all the movies I saw this past weekend, this one was probably the best. Maybe becuase I just wanted some cheesy, low grade humor. The scene stealer was Nick Swardson as David Spade's brother Howie...they could make a movie just on him (he was terrified of the sun).
The only odd things were to see Jon Heder in an SNL movie (he sort of sticks out a bit), and that Rob Schneider plays a "cool" guy (when is he cool?! NEVER!). But overall, it was a pretty funny and entertaining movie.
Yeah, not the greatest reviews, but that's my summary so suck it.
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