He's Just Not That Into You

If you're a female and you have a pulse, then you read He's Just Not That Into You when it first came out.

It seemed a little odd to have a self-help book be turned into a movie, but whatever...Greg Bernhardt is a sellout douchebag so it seems it would be fitting. And it seemed fitting that all the best scenes were probably shown in previews.

I am happy to say, I was proved wrong. This movie kicks ass. Minus the stupid cameo with Greg as a wedding minister. What the eff. Damn he's such a tool. Can someone PLEASE tell him to shave that dead thing off his chin?
Seriously hate facial hair, especially ones that look like a small rodent is growing



The premise is pretty easy...take the lessons in the book, then show scenes from people's lives that illustrate the point.

It's been years since I read it, but DAMN if you aren't reminded of previous dates/boyfriends/flings/manfriends/relationships/whatever when you watch this movie. One brilliant point: you are the RULE, not the EXCEPTION.

Everyone has a story about a couple who met in some bizarro way. Or a chick who married a guy after he brushed her off for a year. Or how the guy really DID go out of town, lose her number, but found her and married her. Those are the EXCEPTIONS.

WE ARE NOT EXCEPTIONS.

WE ARE THE RULE. And the rule says that in general, those jackass things don't turn into great moments of romance.

On another note, Jennifer Aniston still proves that she will forever be Rachel. This is just Rachel older and dating Ben Affleck.

Ginnifer Goodwin gives a fantastic performance as Gigi, the girl who f*cks up everything.

And damn, I hated Scarlett Johansson before...I hate her even more now. The lesson of her story is: don't be a frickin' whore or you'll end up alone.

When I read the book, I remember thinking back to two guys I dated...and yes, even *I* the all-knowing girl wonder that I am even made excuses for them.

One was a dude who I met when I was in university. Damn, I don't remember his name but I know he had shingles the summer before and he thought Carmen Electra (who had just been discovered) was super hot. His dad was a cop and he used to get mad when tv shows depicted blood as red since it dries to brown in real life. We had a fantastic date, he was enamored with me, blah blah. Then we had a few more dates, and it was all that magical pot-of-gold-unicorns-rainbow crap. Then suddenly...he went MIA. And i got the excuse that he was traveling for volleyball. Then stuff about hanging out with an ex-girlfriend. But stupid me kept calling him...i didn't understand how we could have these awesome dates and suddenly he would pull away. Well moron, he hinted in not so many words that he was pining for his ex-girlfriend. And i'm sure when she got wind of him dating someone new, she "suddenly remembered" that he was the one for her. And then he was....no longer into me.

The other dude I don't think I even knew his last name. He drove a mustang, so my friends and I called him Adam Mustang. On our date, he ran into someone he knew. Guess who wasn't even introduced on the date? Guess who just sat there like an IDIOT while he chatted with this other dude for like half an hour (i am NOT exaggerating. It was horrible). What a f*cking moron...i looked cute. I WAS CUTE. Anyway after the horrible date, of course I didnt' hear from him. But being the idiot that I was...I called him a few times. Left some VMs. It was blazingly obvious: a guy who likes a girl will NOT be distracted for 30 mins on a date...especially a first date, and especially not distracted by some MALE buddy (i think it was a coworker....he wasn't gay :P).
Finally when I wrote him off...a few months later, he called ME. I think I was dating somoene else by then so I gave him the brush off, but in hindsight it was sooooo very clear he wanted a bootycall. (For the record: we had never slept together, or even got past a kiss...which I think is part of the "problem"...i think he thought he would score that night. Only to discover that a) not my style, and b) i lived with my parents). No one was any less into me than Adam Mustang, but I was too much of a stupid girl to realize that.

This should be required reading for girls in highschool. I'd say elementary school, but there's alot of sex talk in the book.

Oh and on another note: this whole schpiel of telling little girls that if a boy is mean to you it's because he likes you is BULL CRAP. If a boy is mean to you he's an abusive d1ck and if he pulls your hair, you should whack him in the nuts. No boy should ever be allowed to be controlling, verbally/emotionally/whatever abusive, and should certainly not make a girl be led to believe that he's treating her right when he so clearly is not.


Yes, indeed, it's just Rachel all over again.

Letter to the editor

Carrie (re: Running Man book): heck yeah I read the book, it was awesome! Very different from the movie however, but the best part is when book-version-Arnold is crawling on the floor, his guts spilling out, then his intestines loop around some dead guy's head so he has to crawl back to unhook it and shove it back inside him....In addition to my Piers Anthony/Isaac Asimov reading phases, i was all into Stephen King (Richard Bachman), but I remember seeing Creepshow 2 and IT and those scared the crap out of me so I stopped reading his books.

I don't think you're right at all about society moving towards the absence of sexual content.
Tim: You're putting words in my mouth. I don't think we're "moving" towards it, we already have. You can't possibly think we're where we were in the days of woodstock and houses where you could go specifically to bone someone else. Those things still go on, but nowhere NEAR the same levels what with the advent of AIDS and STDs...I'm not saying it'll be complete absence, at least not in our lifetimes (I mean, if in the next generation there's an STD you get just by LOOKING at gonads, then f*ck it...i'd have no problems wearing a chastity belt forever).

MARLENE YOU ROCK...yes the Gigi is what I was thinking of. Why are these things marketed towards chicks, I'll bet that Gigi thing feels way better than a frickin' blow up doll for a dude if he's a germaphobe of the future. Although what do I know, maybe these are marketed towards dudes too. Damn i can't find a pic online, there's alotta things called "gigi" on the net.

EDITED: Marcella you KICK ASS! Here's a pic:


Back to Creepshow 2...the only reason I was scared of that movie was the vignette (The Raft) of the black oil slick that would eat people on this little lake. For real, this concept scared the pulp out of me. In hindsight, not really so scary, but damn for years I just got freaked out that some big black oil slick blob was going to engulf me.

Sex, Robots, and Isaac Asimov

When i was still in elementary school I went through a massive nerd phase where I read books like crazy. Not that that's something new, but my parents actually threw out our TV (which I didn't tell anyone at the time, who's parents actually physically THROW OUT a tv? The only family tv? And then go years without one? My formative Saved by the Bell years were spent reading books instead of watching tv. Gee, wonder why I'm so addicted to television now? But i digress). So i went pretty fast from reading Babysitter's Club/Sweet Valley High to Piers Anthony and Isaac Asimov, I probably read more books during that non-tv time than I ever will for the rest of my life (and I'm in a book club even!).

Thanks mom and dad, for making me the socially retarded woman I am today.

I remember reading Robots of Dawn (in addition to many other books by Isaac Asimov, who's a mutha effin' sci fi badass...ummm as badass as you can be given the subject) and although i didn't get very much of the sexual references at the time, I do remember a key element in the book is that on whatever planet (Aurora?), humans don't actually interface with each other. They're total germophobes. You can see each other through holographic-type phone systems so it seems like you're there when you're not. And some chicks just bone their robots (Daneel i believe was one of them), since they're man-like anyway (nice! I approve). Funny that Isaac Asimov didn't think to reference Purell hand sanitizer anywhere in his books, i'm sure he thought of it before the stuff was actually invented.



I also recall the hero of the book actually getting to physically bone one of the chicks in the book, and the whole sex scene was written out like he was taking her on some sort of trip. Flying or something. I don't know, I didn't get it then, and I'm certainly not creative enough to figure it out now. If someone can make sex seem like I'm sitting on a beach in Hawaii drinking out of a coconut (without my husband losing his wedding ring in the ocean in Waikiki lol), let me know.

What I do remember is thinking how odd that any sexual contact was electronic, through holographic images or with robots. And now...that's what society is turning towards. Maybe because I still have that Vh1 “Sex the Revolution” series in my brain, but we are a society that has to fear herpes, AIDs, baby mama drama...and we also have immediate access to all things sex thanks to the web and Passion Parties (Marlene, wtf is the name of that jelly-ish thing with a hole in it that you guys got me for my bridal shower? For the life of me, i can't remember what it's called but it seems like now would be time for a good shout out to that doodad!).

Very much like in Isaac Asimov's worlds, you can have aseptic sex virtually with anyone in the world as long as you have a method of communication, some sort of camera device, and your own little robot (that runs on two AA batteries lol).

Much like how Stephen King was ahead of this time with The Running Man (link to that blog entry here, effing best movie ever! Second to Clueless), Isaac Asimov was also well ahead of his time and totally foresaw the future of sex.

Yay to nerds.

Damn you spam, damn you

I swear, whoever created spam should be shot. No wait, they should be forced to go through and personally be responsible for DELETING the spam that exists in my inbox....mutha effa.

So I have a bunch of random email accounts: yahoo, gmail, canada.com, hotmail, whatever...i have two yahoo accounts, one of them I used to use on occasion 10 years ago but now the only reason I even have it is 'cause it's my login for Amazon (that's where I was registered when I got married, and i've been too lazy to sync up that accuont with my regular yahoo email).

ANYWAY it's pretty much all spam, which on occasion I try to wipe out. Well I decided it's time to bring back that email account, and I'm going through all 3000 spam messages...problem is, I needed to filter out the ones from Amazon (that leaves Amazon.com, "auto-confirm@amazon.com", and the sneak peek emails i get from Cirque du Soleil)...

you'd think I'd be able to just select ALL and click SPAM, right? Sadly, no...yahoo email has some bug where it'll ask "are you sure you want to set all the mail to spam", if you select YES then nothing happens. So i'm trying to go through and highlight them all (using the new Yahoo Email format, where it looks like Outlook), but i'm on a crazy slow computer and the past HOUR has been spent trying to highlight a bunch, then click SPAM...

The slow computer is part of the massive computer problems we had way back when (see entry here)...it's actually gotten worse. Since I last posted, the "good" desktop PC's hard drive completely stopped spinning. So now i'm back on the crappy slow desktop PC, until I can either get an external hard drive or external CD burner to back up the personal info...after all the hard drive issues, i really want to get an external burner but those suckers aren't cheap (and i really don't feel like installing an internal burner onto this crappy PC only to later have to remove it and install it on the good PC).

Computer DRAAA-MAAAA...

Speaking of drama, some people make fun of me 'cause i'm in a book club. Y'all can suck my balls, at least I'm reading for God's sakes. Thank the lord for Meetup. Anyway, a whole bunch of stuff went DOWN...oh yes, people in the book club were ready to rumble. In the grand scheme it was all just chick drama, but it proves a few things:
1. Women are naturally drawn to drama. There's no effing WAY a guy's book club would ever have had this much drama. (Then again, no dude would join a male-only book club).
2. Women will bitch about ANYTHING.
3. Large gatherings of women creates nothing more than a clusterf*ck (i hate that word, but i can't think of a better way to describe it).

I wouldn't change items 1 through 3 for anything...