F*CK IT

OKAY, FUCK IT:

1.FUCK IT, i'm going to say it, i'm so annoyed when I see people use the speaker feature on their cell phones when driving...but still hold the phone in their hands. And it's only WOMEN who are retarded enough to do this.
The law isn't “don't hold a phone near your head”, it's “hands free”...if the law was that you can't have a headset near your head, then bluetooth devices would be illegal. The key is to keep BOTH hands free when driving and talking.

I don't even care that these people are breaking the law...I care that these women are making my gender look even more stupid by truly not understanding the stupid law. “Oh, if I don't hold it to my head but i speak into the speakerphone, that's within the rules”. Damn i hate women.

Not to be confused with all the texting I do while driving...texting and driving is NOT against the law in California (yet). Driving while distracted, yes. Texting while driving...nope.

2.FUCK IT...i'm sick of the big flippin' 27” tv that's taking up all this room in my bedroom...that monster won't die. My mom got it from Walmart over 10 years on sale for $700 (it was floor model missing the remote)...um yeah I think I can retire it. So I started an automatic savings account to put $50 a month aside and in ONE YEAR i'm getting a fucking flatscreen for the bedroom.
So sick of things on the bedroom floor, that includes TV stands (or drawers that are used to hold tvs).

3.FUCK IT...I'm saying it. Mariah Carey, you look like ass with your Fly Girl circa 1992 short skirts and crop tops. You don't have abs. You got liposuction. It would look SO much better if you just wore tight tops and jeans or something. You don't have the body for the whore outfits. Rihanna has the body. Anyone under 30 has the body. You my dear, DO NOT. Your stomach looks just as bad as Tara Reid's.

4.Fuck it, i'm saying it, 90210 is going to be effing AWESOME. That chick from Nip/Tuck is so easy to hate...she'll do great on it. It might even give Gossip Girls a run for its money.

5.FUCK IT, i'm saying it: I don't give a sh*t about the olympics. Yay for Michael Phelps and his records broken, the guy is a mutant, wtf did you expect?! I'm Canadian, we rule the winter olympics...talk to me in 2 years.

6.FUCK IT...I've got no shame: my Homeowner's Association can suck my balls. They sent me a letter saying I had to immediately rip up my palm trees due to the damage to MY fence. Okay, I get it, but damn people this “immediately” thing is BS. Yeah i'll get right onto the hundreds of dollars that'll cost me to MOVE SOME PALM TREES...i'm so annoyed, i inherited those fucking trees...Kraig rigged it so that they're not longer pressing against the fence, and now the battle of The Horigans vs. The HOA shall begin.

Smo fo buttah layin' to the bone, jackin' me up...tightly!

Once again I'm in one of those modes where I don't feel like anything I'm thinking about is worth typing, let alone worth it for anyone reading.

We're back to ANOTHER round of home improvement woes, today's problem: the garbage disposal is leaking. Now the problem with leaks is that they go relatively unnoticed until weeks later, you run the water for a long time, and you finally see a pile of water at your feet. By then the stuff in your cupboard, and the cupboards themselves, are slimy wet. In the case of the garbage disposal...well you can imagine the beauty that comes out of that sucker.

Typically I call Saddleback Plumbing. Why? Because they're the only ones I can think of because they spam me with so many $12 coupons (excellent marketing on their part). But today I thought of the Mike Diamond commercials ("we guarantee our plumbers will be on time and smell good"). Their customer service is fantastic, the only problem is that they couldn't get anyone in today. That means I now have to argue like crazy to have them come after 6pm during the week, or tough it out till next week (the most likely solution). Blegh. Home ownership blows for the most part.

Then again, so does renting. I just need to find a cardboard box and pimp it out.

To change topics...
Some people have a life slogan, other people have something they'd want written on their headstone...I may have found my little "quote of the day", as written to Kelly and Erica the other day (the topic: Spencer Pratt actually being correct in an argument against Heidi Montag).

I dig it. 'Cause as much as we all love to hate him...he's right. And I love it when people we hate are right. Like, if Hitler was preaching about spaying/neutering your pets, I'd be in heaven.

Maybe i'll put that on a tshirt.

New Year's Goals

Now that I'm on this hardcore thing to reduce the home equity loan, I've found some fantastic websites on cash, frugality, and other random stuff about the almighty dollar. One of these days i'll get around to posting them.

So here's the unofficial 2008 New Year's Goals. The key here is that a given month's goals may be swapped for another month's goals. And any of these goals may get shifted based on a pending trip to Ottawa/Toronto.

Jan
- fill out that Insurance Inventory kit thing I got (doesn't serve much point to have replacement insurance if you can't prove you have the stuff in the first place)
- continue ebaying mags (50% of the remaining amount)

Feb
- ebay the remaining magazine lot
- fill out the Life Doc info

March
- paint kitchen cabinets

April
- paint kitchen cabinets (2 month project...because i know i'm lazy)

May
- paint kitchen walls
- sand, fill in holes, paint front door

June
- complete my other website about cube life(it's already up if you're bored but it's nowhere near complete, email me for the link 'cause i'm not posting it here)

July
- paint upstairs hallway

Aug
- read all the French books i've got (figure this is a good summer goal with beach reading and all that)

Sept
- paint the door trim and handrail
- Liz's wedding (not really a goal so much as a reminder to not do anything crazy this month)

Oct
- complete Kraigart.com for my sweetie

November and December
Free, or to use to complete any of the other stuff that didn't get wrapped up.

And of course, pay down that damn home equity loan.

I resolve to create a resolution

The year is coming to an end...and its time to start thinking of NY's resolutions.

There was the year where I vowed to be more refined...didn't really succeed. Suck it.

Then I believe last year I decided to do "monthly goals" which I really liked, but then it got sidetrakced with the goal of getting my PMP certification (which I did get, so I achieved that yearly goal).

Now i'm sitting here wondering what to do for 2008. I'm inspired by AJ Jacobs who went a year trying to follow the bible as close as possible (A Year of Living Biblically...i've got his other book on how he read Encyclopdia Brittanica cover to cover, he's hilarious) so I wondered...what is something that i should do for one year...like my own social experiment?

The only thing I could think of would be: no clothes, shoes, or purses for all of 2008. That's doable, and it goes into the next part of the goal for 2008: I need to pay at least $15K extra towards my home equity loan or else we're in a world of hurt. Yay for the housing debacle. Anyway, back to the no clothes purchase for 2008. For any weddings I have to go to I've got plenty of things I can wear, and I guess if my black boots wear out then I can pay to repair them because I truly do love them.

But...then I remembered that I really wanted to take advantage of spring ski sales and I do need a ski jacket and ski pants...well by "need" i mean, "I have skis and i've only gone skiing ONCE in the past 7 years and to do that i had to borrow someone else's apparel which isn't gonna fly anymore".

So now i'm wondering...can I just say i'll go the entire year not buying shoes, purses, or clothes EXCEPT for one ski jacket and ski pants? That's not exactly an impulse or frivolous purchase, I've been meaning for years to do that.

However, if i truly want to be frugal I could wear the coat and snowpants (oh yes, they're "snowpants") that I had when I was like 14, which is this bright purple and blue coat with bright purple snowpants. They're not stylish, but they're what i wore skiing as a kid (then again, i also wasn't that warm in them...but i do have my old Columbia ski jacket but the zipper broke...but that's also an excuse, i've got workarounds tot he zipper situation you can still zip it up...just not easily...anyway).

So...that's one thought to consider.

The next part is what I already mentioned...$15K has to be paid down on the home equity (i.e. $30K over two years according to my COuntrywide guy)...which is no easy task when you need to spend your year saving $6K just for flippin' property taxes. And that's not really a "resolution" as much as a "fo' sho' you better pay down that loan or else you're homeless"...

OR...i could go back to the monthly goals. Like as a result of the PMP certification there's something that goes along with that (that i won't post) that i'd LIKE to get accomplished at the very latest by end of February, but that's not necessarily up to me...but like one month to paint the kitchen cabinets...another month to paint the upstairs hallway...another month to paint the kitchen itself...another month to do something once and for all with the garage (although i'd like to epoxy the floors, buying that stuff will take away from the $15K that needs to go to the equity), another month to read all the french books i keep meaning to read, another month to truly clear out the spare bedroom (i'm working on it, it involves ALOT of ebaying)...

I also found this website (Weekend Cookbook Challenge) that inspired me...basicallyt he gist is that you gotta open up a cookbook of yours and make one thing in a weekend. As someone who's got a desk job, that's not an easy task...heck, my biggest challenge is going grocery shopping because I can't stand doing it after work, and there's only so much you can buy in advance without it getting spoiled (and becuase it's just kraig and I, lots of times i waste stuff...like 1/4 of onions leave 3/4 to get wasted pretty easily). But i really do enjoy cooking, and I'd like to do more of it.

I could also take Nicole's advice and add to this NY's resolution list to "Join forces with your brother to better manage parental unit guilt trips." which is a fantastic idea...

Stay tuned. The key to a successful NY resolution is to not make it too big where it's easy to fail, but important enough to where you'll want to stick it it.

Kahhh Toe Mahhh Tayy!

Stella....STELLLLLLLLAAAA...

Disclaimer: the following post is not about what a guy SHOULD know...it's about what he MUST know. And by "must know", I mean: "must know in order to date a chick so that her friends don't say dang girl, he doesn't know how to do X, Y, Z? Dump his ass". Not "must know in order to succeed in life" or something retarded like that. So yes, a guy should/must know say how to change an innertube on his non-mountain bike...but that's not exactly make-or-break criteria when it comes to dating a guy.

So Carrie found this article about 25 things every guy should know. Figured...it was time for my commentary.

1. Patch a Radiator Hose
Steam hissing from a ruptured radiator hose? Here's a relatively easy, temporary fix with duct tape.

I dont' know about that one...maybe because it's never come up in my life, so why would a dude ever need to do this? Where is the radiator hose? or maybe because I'm a chick I'm clueless about the importance of this.

2. Protect Your Computer
Viruses and spyware can unleash a host of evils upon your PC, ranging from annoying pop-ups to a zombie system takeover.

This isn't what a guy should know how to do...it's what a guy SHOULD do. And woman. I think this list needs to narrow down what a guy MUST know (which in turn is what a woman SHOULD know...but doesn't need to).

3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized
When you come upon a capsized boat, approach with caution: The cause of the accident or debris in the water could render you a victim as well.


Hmmm, I guess it's good if you're with a friend...but I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he didn't know how to do this.

4. Frame a Wall
It's the basic partition — an interior, non-load-bearing wall with a door opening. Here's how to frame it, so you can divide your basement into a really useful storage area and a totally indulgent man space — say, a big-screen sports den.

I'll worry about it when I live in a place where this could be an option. If you live in a big city (i.e. where you rent), i wouldn't hold it against a guy if he didn't know how to do that.

5. Retouch Digital Photos
Some shots are too flawed to fix with a click on autocorrect. Here's how to perform surgery on digital images with nearly any photo-editing software.

I disagree. Guys dont' give a crap about how they look in pictures (well, enough to retouch it). Guys should know how to screw around with Photoshop to put their friends faces on someone else's body as a joke...but not to fix flaws. If anything, that's something we chicks should know.

6. Back Up a Trailer
If you're doing this without a spotter, put your left hand at six o'clock on the steering wheel, and drape your right hand over the seatback. As you back up, move your steering hand in the direction you want the trailer to go.

Define "trailer"...like anything with a box with wheels attached to it? Like a U-Haul or a camper thing? Yeah, dude should know how to drive one of those things. Short of flying ap lane, guys should know how to drive all other vehicles.

7. Build a Campfire

Obviously. This is a necessity. If a guy can't build fire, get rid of him. In this day and age, that means if a guy cant' figure out how to turn onthe BBQ. Call me shallow, i don't care, but I once had to show a guy how to turn on a propane BBQ and clearly his balls fell off in the process.

8. Fix a Dead Outlet
If the lamp goes out, but the bulb's not fried, it's time to check the outlet. Once you turn off the breaker, here's how to fix the usual suspects.

True dat.

9. Navigate with a Map and Compass
Though GPS may seem ubiquitous, it doesn't work everywhere. Mountains and dense tree cover can knock out sat signals — and batteries can die. Here's how to roam the backcountry with a compass and topo map.

Hmmm, this would imply that you're not near civilization. Which means you're camping. In true nature (notl ike nature where your car is right next to your tent). So if you're a chick like me and you don't care about nature, then you don't need to worry if the dude can do this.

10. Use a Torque Wrench
Using a torque wrench the wrong way leads to incorrectly tightened fasteners, which can spell trouble for your machinery.

I have no idea what a torque wrench is so I can't gauge if it's important for a guy to know how to use it. Oh wait, I looked it up:

How can you screw up using one of those things?!

11. Sharpen a Knife
A knife may be the most elemental of all human tools — but only if it's sharp.

Hmmm...yeah that sounds about right. Honing is important to knife maintenance, and using one of those sharpening tools from Target is gonna jack up yer knife. I approve.

12. Perform CPR
Most people have an idea of how to perform cardio­pulmonary resuscitation (CPR) on a person whose heart has stopped, but you may not have taken a course in years.

Another thing that's more like guys (and women) SHOULD know. Would I think less of a guy if he didn't know this? Nope. But it's definitely valuable info nonetheless.

13. Fillet a Fish
Set the scene with a flat surface and an appropriate knife — any long, thin, flexible and sharp blade will do, but for larger fish you might need a stiffer blade. Make your first cut behind the pectoral fin or gill cover, angling the tip of the knife slightly toward the head.

I can't stand fish. I don't want to be around a dude to see if he's mastered this skill. This isn't effing Iron Chef.

14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
Although there isn't much you can do when your car is pirouetting out of control, you can maneuver out of two basic types of skids before things get messy.

PLEASE! If you've lived anywhere with snow then this is a given. If you don't know how to do this,you'd be dead.

15. Get a Car Unstuck
When you're stuck, don't gun the engine to get out — the tires will only dig in deeper.

See #14. Or in my case, just get a boatload of people to help push.

16. Back Up Data
Don't put off backing up your files until it's too late.

Another "should do" as opposed to "must know"...this isn't a question of a dude's manliness...this is a question of his ability to think ahead, think strategically, and be responsible for his crap.

17. Paint a Room
Good paint jobs start before the first can of paint is opened.

How big of a moron are you if you can't prep and paint a room?

18. Mix Concrete
If you're going to use more than a cubic yard of concrete — a 9 x 9-ft. pad, 4 in. thick — call a Redi-Mix vendor.

I can't imagine a situation where I would need someone to mix concrete for me, unless it's for a major home renovation that involved hiring a dude to do it for me.

19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle

Clean a what now?!

20. Change Oil and Filter

Every 3000 miles you can commune with your car when you change the oil.

HIGHLY agree with this one. This should be #2 on the list after how to make a fire.

21. Hook Up an HDTV

Well...I have an HDTV...but I don't subscribe to it...so if it's a question of hooking up tv, obviously. How hard can it be to set up an HD receiver with a tv?

22. Bleed Brakes
When the brake pedal starts to feel spongy, it's time to bleed your brakes.

No idea what this is, but it's your brakes so it seems like it's something a dude should know how to do. However this will never come up in conversation, so trying to test a guy's knowledge on this is a bit sketchy.

23. Paddle a Canoe

Would require caring about nature.

24. Fix a Bike Flat

WRONG! This should NOT be on the list. If a guy is fixing a flat it means he's back home, and if your'e back home and you're so desperate to FIX the tire rather than buy a new one, then you've got issues that go beyond what any chick would want to deal with. And if you've got like $5000 tires on your bike...well then your name is Lance Armstrong and you and your one ball can suck it.

25. Extend Your Wireless Network
You've got a laptop that, ideally, you'd like to use anywhere in your house. But the strength of your wireless Internet fades between floors and behind thick walls.

I think anyone with a pulse should know how to do this, not just dudes.



This list is missing something VERY important: a guy NEEDS to know how to drive stick. That's a non-issue. I don't care if he'll never own a car with manual transmission...he better still know how to drive one. Or else. Or else what? Exactly.