IM with my mom: customer service edition

Damn,I'm SO my mother's daughter. This reminds me of the White House/Black Market dress incident with the dry cleaners.

(Pierre is my parents' neighbor, my cat accidentally got locked in their garage, he tried to bitch that his car had claws until my dad pwned him by telling him that Smokey is declawed.)

My_mom (9:49 AM): whats up, how was the weekend
Me (9:51 AM): it was okay. and yours?
My_mom (9:52 AM): ok, just a bit upset because of pierre saying whether we ever thought of putting smokey down

My_mom (9:52 AM): he doesnt look in good shape and limps
My_mom (9:52 AM): do u think he is in excrutiating pain because of his arthritis in right hip and knee?
Me (9:53 AM): well how bad is he limping?
My_mom (9:53 AM): like u saw him last time, it hasnt gone worse
Me (9:53 AM): He seemed fine. i would ask the vet if he's in pain, not Pierre.
My_mom (9:54 AM): sometimes he limps less, sometimes it bothers him more
My_mom (9:54 AM): still pierre shouldnt make such a suggestion, dad thought it was rude
Me (9:55 AM): yes it was.

My_mom (9:56 AM): so smokey was shut into their garage whole night, and jumped on their car, they checked it but luckily no scratches
Me (9:56 AM): ok
My_mom (9:57 AM): but they knew because smokey left paw prints all over... so dad said "we pay if he wants to have it washed professionaly"... pierre said "it's ok, he will just hose it down"

My_mom (9:57 AM): but if his limping gets worse, i might resort to free him of that pain,... what do u think?
My_mom (9:58 AM): it's an awful feeling having to do that, it would really be the last resort

Me (9:58 AM): ask the vet for his opinion on the pain.
My_mom (9:58 AM): remember when smokey was left by his last owner at that vet, why was he brought in to that vet?
My_mom (9:59 AM): i think it must have been that injury that is now hounding him
Me (10:00 AM): ok
My_mom (10:00 AM): ok what

My_mom (10:00 AM): it was a leg injury right?
Me (10:02 AM): i don't know. I don't remember.
My_mom (10:02 AM): well i remember u saying something of that nature
Me (10:02 AM): i always thought it was for his ears.
My_mom (10:02 AM): also in humans, injuries we get earlier in life return as arthritis in old age

My_mom (10:03 AM): no u said his paws or something
My_mom (10:03 AM): poor baby
My_mom (10:03 AM): but he has been a good boy in general, i dont just want to get rid of him like he was garbage now that he is old
Me (10:04 AM): then ask the vet.

My_mom (10:04 AM): i really want god to decide when its smokeys time
Me (10:05 AM): Okay then give him tons of pain medication and don't let him out at night anymore.
My_mom (10:06 AM): he doesnt go out at night, just a bit in the evening, then he is happy whole night at home

My_mom (10:06 AM): a bit in the morning and thats it
Me (10:07 AM): well it's enough to get him trapped somewhere.
My_mom (10:08 AM): he only stays around the house, doesnt go far anymore, those days are over
Me (10:09 AM): apparently not, since he just got locked into a garage.
My_mom (10:09 AM): well now we check making sure their garage door is closed, also they will now make doubly sure no cat is in there before closing
My_mom (10:10 AM): anyway, i talk to the vet again

My_mom (10:10 AM): if he starts limping harder, i think i might resort to the worst, but it will very hard to do and i will feel awful for a long time to come
My_mom (10:11 AM): had some problem with "weed man"
My_mom (10:11 AM): lawncare company
My_mom (10:11 AM): on thursday they had the aeration done on our lawn, even so i cancelled it a month earlier...
My_mom (10:12 AM): i made then one mistake i didnt write down the name of the woman on the phone...

My_mom (10:13 AM): but i know the day and timei told the service guy who came about it, he said there was no note of it on his papers. so i called the office after the aeration...
Me (10:13 AM): and...

My_mom (10:14 AM): asked to speak to the supervisor... some woman named cynthia came on (bet she even wasnt one)
My_mom (10:14 AM): i told her dad i had cancelled it and still someone came... told her day and time, but said i neglegted to write down the name of the girl i spoke to...
My_mom (10:15 AM): i have been with them vor 3 years now, always paid for any services and that woman cynthia was so rude when i said i wasnt going to pay for something i cancelled

Me (10:15 AM): So then don't pay.
My_mom (10:15 AM): she said flat out they will hand it over to the collection agency
My_mom (10:16 AM): i said........... u have just now lost a customer
Me (10:16 AM): You have to have agreed to something for that to happen. It's very easy. Heck, give me the number of them and I'll call. Did you sign something saying that they will come on that day and you'll pay it?

Me (10:17 AM): Just give me their info. I'll take care of it. They can't take it to a collection agency like that. It's very easy to fight.
Me (10:17 AM): Unless they actually did the service.

My_mom (10:17 AM): then i thought this woman couldnt have been a manager and i called back about an hour later and was told the highest person to talk was amanda blythe, left a message for her to call on friday and so far she hasnt called
My_mom (10:17 AM): well they did the service on thursday anyway, even so i cancelled
Me (10:18 AM): that could be a problem. But still, i would put it all in writing at this point. If it's all by phone, you can't prove that you disputed it.
Me (10:18 AM): And when you do it in writing, send it by certified mail.

My_mom (10:19 AM): on 21st sept. evenings someone called and asked whether we want the aeration done.. i said "ok".. the next day i called 22. sept. and said i want it cancelled... the girl there said ok and that was that. i thought all was ok
My_mom (10:19 AM): dad said... well they did perform a service, we want to have it done next year anyway, pay and never use them again

My_mom (10:20 AM): 79 $ isnt worth the hassle... point is "the way that cynthia person talked to me was unacceptable

My_mom (10:21 AM): i thought of writing a registered letter
My_mom (10:21 AM): to that amanda person, either doesnt care, or because the office staff knows about me and never left my message for her to call me on her desk
My_mom (10:21 AM): i strongly suspect that

My_mom (10:23 AM): because i called several times on friday, she is in a meeting, she is on the phone, she just stepped out for lunch... she doesnt call back without leaving a message
My_mom (10:23 AM): without someone leaving a message why she should call back
My_mom (10:23 AM): i said i want to talk to her myself
Me (10:26 AM): send a letter.

My_mom (10:27 AM): i write one and u have to correct it with your writing skills, ok?
My_mom (10:27 AM): do u agree with dad we should pay anyway?
My_mom (10:28 AM): even so i pay, i write to the better business bureau, chamber of commerce and the ottawa citizen
My_mom (10:28 AM): they have a corner in the newspaper for that
Me (10:29 AM): No, i wouldn't pay, but you should always get the name of who you canceled with. do you remember the date and approximate time of the call?

Me (10:29 AM): You need to reference that then at least.
My_mom (10:29 AM): i remember day and time
My_mom (10:29 AM): 22 september 2:30 p.m. approx.

My_mom (10:30 AM): after they put some top organic soil on our lawn
Me (10:30 AM): The date that you canceled, not the day they came out.
My_mom (10:30 AM): which again wanted to have done beginning november because of the falling leaves that need to be picked up

My_mom (10:31 AM): that is the day i cancelled... after the topsoil
My_mom (10:31 AM): 22. september
My_mom (10:32 AM): so they seem to do whatever they like, if it cant be done in november this guy who called to sell weed man services should have said so
My_mom (10:32 AM): we wanted the grass cleared from leaves first, then put that topsoil on

My_mom (10:33 AM): because with that topsoil dad can only to the raking now, using the leave blower-shredder is no good, it will suck in the topsoil too
Me (10:33 AM): if you have a date and time, then tell that to the manager and find out who was working the phones that day.
My_mom (10:33 AM): and i told her that and then i said i want to cancel the aireration

My_mom (10:34 AM): exactly
My_mom (10:34 AM): but they can all deny it

My_mom (10:34 AM): who knows maybe it was on file, but the girl didnt pass it on
My_mom (10:35 AM): and that cynthia could have easily erased it when i called so no proof is there and no one can be blamed
Me (10:35 AM): no, that's not hte point. Just make note of the name. Because they want to know if their employees are slacking off.
My_mom (10:35 AM): man i'm still so mad

My_mom (10:36 AM): what i will do is make a note of all this on paper while i still remember it all
Me (10:36 AM): ok
My_mom (10:36 AM): well i thought there was no need to, normally i do, big mistake to slacken off myself

My_mom (10:37 AM): that with the weed man, the vet with smokey and pierre thingie, made me so upset whole weekend
Me (10:39 AM): sorry
My_mom (10:40 AM): sigh
My_mom (10:40 AM): almost 2 and still no phone call

Me (10:42 AM): If you called Friday, on Monday most businesses are just to catch up from teh weekend and plan for the week. You won't get a call probably till Tues or Wed.
My_mom (10:42 AM): lets see, in the meantime i put everything in writing
My_mom (10:42 AM): so its all ready

My_mom (10:42 AM): c u later hugs
Me (10:43 AM): bye

IM with my mom: pizza parlor edition

My_mom (10:14 AM): hows it going
Me (10:16 AM): its going

My_mom (10:17 AM): hint if u ever want to make your own pizza.... go to a pizza parlour, buy fresh dough for pizza
My_mom (10:17 AM): bought 2 large uncooked pizza dough 3 weeks ago for just 6 $
My_mom (10:17 AM): not worth making your own
My_mom (10:17 AM): made my own pizza
My_mom (10:18 AM): i mean used my own toppings

Me (10:18 AM): i have never made my own pizza dough. You don't need to go to a pizza parlor to get dough, the grocery store sells it premade.

My_mom (10:18 AM): 2 large pizzas cost usually 34 $ or so
Me (10:18 AM): 2 large pizzas here costs like 15.


My_mom (10:18 AM): u mean the one already rolled out?
My_mom (10:18 AM): thats no good, tried it
Me (10:19 AM): ok
Me (10:19 AM): um no

Me (10:19 AM): you can buy dough
Me (10:19 AM): that you roll out yourself
My_mom (10:19 AM): which section?

Me (10:19 AM): frozen i'm guessing, since you can freeze pizza dough
Me (10:19 AM): they have it fresh at some stores like Trader Joes
My_mom (10:20 AM): i have to look, but that was pretty good too
Me (10:20 AM): ok

My_mom (10:20 AM): like making your own
My_mom (10:21 AM): 3 $ for the dough of one
My_mom (10:21 AM): anyway, c u later hugs

Me (10:22 AM): ok

IM with my mom: eating pets edition

This is me being polite with my mom...previous to this she grilling me on a bunch of crap. On one hand i'm irritated out of my skull, on the other hand the Bad Daughter Guilt kicks in because i don't take the time to talk to her, etc...

My_Mom (9:41 AM): anyway, how r the cats
My_Mom (9:42 AM): ?
My_Mom (9:42 AM): your babies
Me (9:42 AM): they're fine

My_Mom (9:43 AM): marma is a good girl these days? lol
My_Mom (9:43 AM): will u get another cat when marma dies?
Me (9:44 AM): no

My_Mom (9:44 AM): when smokey is gone, no more cats for us, we are getting to old and its not fair on a cat when we go before the cat
Me (9:44 AM): ok

My_Mom (9:44 AM): plus we dont really have anyone to look after when we want to go away... and we dont really want to bother anyone either
My_Mom (9:45 AM): if u would be here, then that would be easy
My_Mom (9:46 AM): next door mike they love cats, i know they would look after it, but i hate bothering anyone really
Me (9:46 AM): okay
My_Mom (9:46 AM): trudi also would look after it, again the bother
Me (9:47 AM): i understand.

My_Mom (9:48 AM): which is sad, because i love cats
My_Mom (9:48 AM): so another one would have found a good home, considering so many need a good home and not all people treat animals nice
My_Mom (9:49 AM): animals really got the bad end of stick in this life, they are treated so bad
Me (9:49 AM): ok

My_Mom (9:49 AM): would u have liked to be a vet?
My_Mom (9:49 AM): u r good with animals
Me (9:51 AM): sure.
My_Mom (9:51 AM): and as such one can help animals too, to volunteer work as well
My_Mom (9:51 AM): do not to
My_Mom (9:52 AM): in china they eat cats and dogs
My_Mom (9:52 AM): it is now practise to buy one of a special breed to eat, depending the fancy
My_Mom (9:54 AM): ((my uncle)) saw a report on china before the olympics....
Me (9:54 AM): ok

My_Mom (9:55 AM): on the market they keep live cats... people point to the one they want... with a nooze they grab the cat by the neck, immerse it alive in boiling water, that it practically rips the fur of its body, the cats scream in pain, then they kill it
My_Mom (9:56 AM): i wish so much i could do something to stop that, at least have the mercy to kill the animal first
My_Mom (9:56 AM): but they say, that way the meat tastes better
My_Mom (9:56 AM): sickening
My_Mom (9:57 AM): so much bad things happening in this world, its so frustrating
My_Mom (9:57 AM): anyway, i let u go now, c u hugs
Me (9:59 AM): bye

IM with my mom: cat urine edition

Monday, September 14, 2009
MOM (9:28 AM): hi bean
MOM (9:28 AM): how was san diego?
Me (9:42 AM): i only went for a little while
MOM (9:42 AM): still did u have fun
Me (9:42 AM): yup
MOM (9:42 AM): how long does it take to get there?
Me (9:43 AM): depends on traffic...around 1-1.5 hours
MOM (9:43 AM): oh and i said to dad it was just 1/2 hr
MOM (9:44 AM): the swedish comany ericson bought part of nortel and is hiring 600 people.... lets hope ((my uncle)) will get a job
Me (9:44 AM): i don't remember even telling Dad i was driving to san diego
MOM (9:44 AM): i told him
Me (9:44 AM): i hope he gets a job
MOM (9:45 AM): for his family's sake, ((my uncle's wife)) is such a nice person and the kids worry so much about their dad not having a good job
Me (9:46 AM): yep
MOM (9:47 AM): nice day today, pleasant 23c
MOM (9:47 AM): how is marma
Me (9:47 AM): she's good
MOM (9:48 AM): no little mess here and there?
Me (9:48 AM): nope

MOM (9:48 AM): why not anymore?
MOM (9:49 AM): i still remember her once we sat on your bed, and marma so full of trust rolls on her back and waited for u to cuddle her belly... cats only do that to people they trust
Me (9:49 AM): because shes' getting insulin
MOM (9:50 AM): but didnt she have the need to mark the spot so to speak?
Me (9:50 AM): no

MOM (9:50 AM): well she peed all over
MOM (9:50 AM): anyway thats a relief for u
Me (9:51 AM): she didn't pee all over...it was just when she jumped because her bladder was so full from drinking so much water because her blood sugar
MOM (9:51 AM): u deserve a break, u both deserve a break
Me (9:51 AM): or when she was just straight up mad
Me (9:51 AM): thank you, yes a break would be nice

MOM (9:51 AM): ok
MOM (9:52 AM): and her urine smelled worse then a healthy cat too, poor baby, she is sick, all she needed was help
Me (9:52 AM): yup
MOM (9:53 AM): cats are usually clean
MOM (9:53 AM): smokey is getting old

MOM (9:53 AM): like when he lies down, its in slower motion
Me (9:54 AM): yup
MOM (9:54 AM): he was bad last night didnt come in at 11, just sat on the front lawn
MOM (9:54 AM): until then he just stays around the yard really, doesnt wander off, only after 11 he start wandering, but not to far
Me (9:55 AM): ok

MOM (9:55 AM): and this morning he didnt want to come in, he slept at the bottom of the stairs against the garage, dad picked him up and brought him in
MOM (9:56 AM): when he is out i always hope he doesnt eat any mice
MOM (9:56 AM): he can get worms from that
Me (9:57 AM): yep

MOM (9:58 AM): anyway, i leave u now, hugs, dont work to hard
MOM (9:58 AM): stay in touch with ((brother))
Me (9:58 AM): ok

IM with my mom

Damn I really need to get around to posting more wtf!

So this is the 4th IM with my mom today. I sort of ordered her to get me some stuff from Canada (I would get my friends to do it, but then I'd have to pay them back. Moms don't require payback, which is good when your husband is laid off). It's apparently a big frickin' deal to get me some of the whole list:


Thursday, August 20, 2009
My_Mom (3:12 PM): hi bean
My_Mom (3:12 PM): got u the stuff, 2 each cookies, muffing mix, 1 large jar of peanutbutter, 2 dollar off, lucky me
My_Mom (3:13 PM): and those choco bars, bought them in a package of 4, cheaper
My_Mom (3:13 PM): lucky we had just the right size of box at home
My_Mom (3:14 PM): send email and let me know whether u want me to send it to your home addy or to your work addy

My_Mom (3:14 PM): since u arent at home during the day
Me(3:17 PM): kraig is home during thd ay
Me(3:17 PM): the day
My_Mom (3:18 PM): just talking to him

Me(3:18 PM): is the peanut butter the one that says 25% les sfat or whatever
My_Mom (3:18 PM): yes, was the last jar since it was on sale
My_Mom (3:18 PM): at no frills
Me(3:18 PM): thank you

My_Mom (3:19 PM): dont like that store, but i guess they do have good sales, otherwise its not any cheaper
My_Mom (3:19 PM): so where do u want me to send it
My_Mom (3:20 PM): ?

Me(3:20 PM): home
Me(3:21 PM): thank you
My_Mom (3:21 PM): ok, well u would have to pick it up from the post office, since u aint at home when they deliver
My_Mom (3:21 PM): want fit in the mailbox
Me(3:22 PM): They leave packages at the front door.
Me(3:22 PM): Unless you do something like FedEx that requires a signature.
My_Mom (3:23 PM): dont ask me to do that to often, sent a carebear years ago to ((my niece's))'s bday and that costed a fortune, also it wasnt heavy, but they also measure the size of the box... so i took the box home again and stuffed the poor thing into a smaller box, which flattened the poor care bear

My_Mom (3:23 PM): at the front door, isnt that dangerous, someone will steal it, also when its hot, all that chocolate
My_Mom (3:24 PM): it will melt
Me(3:24 PM): As i said, kraig is home.
Me(3:24 PM): And there's shade on my patio.
My_Mom (3:24 PM): oh yeah forgot, lol

Me(3:24 PM): And chocolate bars are made to withstand some level of heat.
My_Mom (3:24 PM): well they dont throw the box over the fence into your yard
My_Mom (3:25 PM): well not to much if its whole day sitting there

Me(3:25 PM): It will be fine.
My_Mom (3:25 PM): but kraig is home, so he better be around, or wont be away to long if he has to go out
My_Mom (3:25 PM): k
My_Mom (3:25 PM): anyway, c u hugs
Me(3:26 PM): bye

IM with my mom - insecticide edition

Yes, i know i need to post...I've been so uninspired by my own bitching lately

My_Mom (9:37 AM): hi bean

Me (9:39 AM): hello

My_Mom (9:39 AM): hows it going, how are the catos?

My_Mom (9:39 AM): kraig?

My_Mom (9:39 AM): how is his job doing? is it safe?

Me (9:39 AM): everyone's fine

My_Mom (9:40 AM): uncle tasneem isnt coming next weekend, postponed till end of august

My_Mom (9:44 AM): very hot this week, like +29

Me (9:47 AM): why august

My_Mom (9:47 AM): well by then his son will have to bring his stuff anyway and move into the dorm

My_Mom (9:50 AM): around 20th august ramadan starts

Me (9:50 AM): okay

My_Mom (9:51 AM): r u planning to have any kids?

Me (9:51 AM): sure

My_Mom (9:51 AM): just wondering

Me (9:52 AM): ok

My_Mom (9:53 AM): whatelse is new?

My_Mom (9:53 AM): r u sitting a lot on your patio?

My_Mom (9:53 AM): loved those palm trees

My_Mom (9:54 AM): must be dwarf types, but they sure gave shade

Me (9:54 AM): yep

My_Mom (9:54 AM): did u do anything about the ants at the side of your livingroom window?

My_Mom (9:55 AM): u know insecticide helps

Me (9:55 AM): i didn't know we had ants.

My_Mom (9:55 AM): u said so back when i visited

My_Mom (9:55 AM): thats why that lonely plant wasnt doing well

My_Mom (9:56 AM): u all got ants, ((my brother)) too, thats why they come in and raid your house

My_Mom (9:56 AM): a couple of years we didnt do the insecticide and ants started to come into the house

My_Mom (9:57 AM): wouldnt be surprised u got them under your patio

My_Mom (9:57 AM): thats why patiostone slabs are better i think

My_Mom (9:57 AM): plus mice can hide underneath

Me (9:58 AM): ok

My_Mom (9:59 AM): also wood looks kind of cozy

My_Mom (9:59 AM): anyway, i let u get back to work

My_Mom (9:59 AM): c u hugs

Me (10:00 AM): bye

IM with my mom - boring edition

My_mom (9:24 AM): hi bean r u lurking around ?
My_mom (9:26 AM): guess not, c u
ME (9:30 AM): i'm here

My_mom (9:30 AM): oh there u r
My_mom (9:30 AM): hows it going?
My_mom (9:30 AM): how r your babies?
ME (9:31 AM): they're fine

My_mom (9:32 AM): friday is here again, another week gone, time flies, its scary
My_mom (9:32 AM): we got lots of rain since thursday
ME (9:32 AM): it's raining here too

My_mom (9:32 AM): going to last another week
My_mom (9:33 AM): good for the grass seeds i put in, the backyard never looked so good
My_mom (9:33 AM): trying to find some nice comtemporary planters for the backyard, cant find any
My_mom (9:33 AM): they all look like urns, so ugly
My_mom (9:35 AM): last year in september loblaws had some nice ones on sale, but then i didnt need them, this year i do and i cant find them again
ME (9:36 AM): okay

My_mom (9:36 AM): i guess i just have to keep searching until i find what i like
My_mom (9:36 AM): i just hate those old fashion kind, that make a place look like a graveyard
ME (9:37 AM): yep

My_mom (9:37 AM): cant believe some people have them
My_mom (9:38 AM): because in the back i just want pots with flowers, more manageable
ME (9:38 AM): okay

My_mom (9:39 AM): unless one is an avid gardener, like mike and louise next door, those plants grow out of control very fast
My_mom (9:39 AM): i hate that, i hate gardening
ME (9:40 AM): then...don't garden.

My_mom (9:40 AM): i dont, just do the bare minimum
My_mom (9:40 AM): a bit has to be done however
My_mom (9:43 AM): anyway, c u later hugs

man...it's hard to IM your mother sometimes...err, all the time.

IM with my mom - career edition

My Mom (8:16 AM): how is marma?
Me (8:17 AM): she's fine

My Mom (8:17 AM): is she on a special diet?
My Mom (8:18 AM): did u manage to ask the vet what to feed an old cat?
My Mom (8:18 AM): like our granpapie smokey?
Me (8:18 AM): yes she is on a diabetic diet, and no i didn't ask what to feed an old cat. but i can if you want.

My Mom (8:19 AM): well because u saw the vet i thought u asked
My Mom (8:19 AM): i can call mine too and get advise
Me (8:19 AM): i had other things to ask when i was at the vet

My Mom (8:20 AM): ok np
Me (8:21 AM): how are you doing these days

My Mom (8:22 AM): who me?
Me (8:22 AM): obviously

My Mom (8:23 AM): i'm ok, as usual, may is allergy season for me, but with windows closed i'm ok. it helped to cut low that tree in the back, when it flowers it creates terrible probs
My Mom (8:24 AM): saturday late evening i went to walmart, coming back i took with dad a bag of basmati rise, 80 lbs, that was in the back of the car and straight away i noticed i had red eyes
My Mom (8:24 AM): so may is bad for me
My Mom is Available (8:26 AM)
My Mom (8:25 AM): how is your french?
Me (8:26 AM): i've lost a lot of it.

My Mom (8:26 AM): :(
My Mom (8:26 AM): u could have gotten a good gvmnt job here
My Mom (8:26 AM): 30 years int he gvmt and u can retire
Me (8:27 AM): I did have a government job. They don't pay crap.note: I worked for 3 years in the Canadian government when I was a student...but it wasn't a "real" job. It was a "we're the government and every year we have to hire X many university students as part of some initiative to give them working experience...so if they have a pulse, hire them"

My Mom (8:27 AM): u had a student job at the gvmt
Me (8:27 AM): And you forget that I LIVED in ottawa when I graduated. There were no jobs that I was qualified for.

My Mom (8:27 AM): that dont pay well
Me (8:28 AM): They wanted full-on programmers, which I'm not.

Me (8:28 AM): And i didn't have a business degree.
Me (8:28 AM): So that pretty much left nothing.
My Mom (8:28 AM): a while back they looked for technical writers
Me (8:28 AM): Yes probably with experience. When i graduated, I had none.
Me (8:28 AM): And i would have had to take a french test for that

My Mom (8:28 AM): now u would be ok
Me (8:28 AM): i can't do technical writing in french
My Mom (8:29 AM): ok

Me (8:29 AM): No, i wouldn't be okay now, because i don't have the technical vocab in french
Me (8:29 AM): Maybe one day i'll work for the canadian government, but not now.
My Mom (8:29 AM): ok

My Mom (8:29 AM): just saying
My Mom (8:30 AM): to late now, u decided to live in the usa
Me (8:36 AM): yup

Me (8:36 AM): my life is ruined
My Mom (8:37 AM): lol it cant be that bad

Me (8:37 AM): well it's too late for me to get a government job and all
My Mom (8:37 AM): not really
My Mom (8:38 AM): and u r smart, u can knock them dead

Me (8:38 AM): you're the one who wrote "too late now, you decided to live in the usa"
Me (8:38 AM): but thank you for the compliment

My Mom (8:38 AM): one thing u and ((my brother)) are, is tough
My Mom (8:38 AM): u know how to kick in the door if u have to
My Mom (8:39 AM): hehe
Me (8:40 AM): yep
My Mom (8:41 AM): lol

My Mom (8:41 AM): i guess in todays job market u have to
My Mom (8:42 AM): anyway, got errands to run, c u

IM with my mom - housing edition

Mom (1:21 PM): r u there?
ME (1:22 PM): yes
ME (1:22 PM): marmalade is fine
Mom (1:22 PM): ok

Mom (1:22 PM): how r things?
ME (1:23 PM): they're okay
Mom (1:23 PM): marmalade her former self again?
ME (1:23 PM): not fully, but getting there
Mom (1:23 PM): awww poor baby
ME (1:23 PM): yep

Mom (1:24 PM): how do u manage giving her that insulin by needle?
Mom (1:24 PM): isnt she kind of wiggly and slippery?
ME (1:24 PM): no, you just grab her fur and she doesn't really move
ME (1:24 PM): scruff her

Mom (1:25 PM): oh she got used to it maybe
ME (1:25 PM): yep

Mom (1:25 PM): she knows u mean well
Mom (1:25 PM): she trusts u
ME (1:25 PM): yep

ME (1:25 PM): how was your holiday weekend
Mom (1:25 PM): same as always, a bit cool
Mom (1:25 PM): nothing eventful
ME (1:26 PM): did ((Uncle X)) find a job?
Mom (1:27 PM): well he got a job as a mechanical engineer, not the job he would have liked, but its better than nothing, but not in water testing

Mom (1:27 PM): he is also a mechanical engineer studied at red river college in winnipeg
Mom (1:28 PM): went to see the new houses they are building on 10th line across innes road behind that mall. dont like how close they build houses next to each other these days
Mom (1:29 PM): right now i actually like my house again, not as squooshed together
Mom (1:29 PM): but all very nice and modern

Mom (1:30 PM): ((Uncle X)) and ((Aunt X)) want to buy a bigger house, she runs a daycare at home and always looses kids because they are not close to school... so they thought maybe to buy one closer to school
Mom (1:31 PM): so they asked me to have a look at those minto houses here
Mom (1:31 PM): but if we sell our house, we want a bungalow

ME (1:31 PM): do not sell your house
Mom (1:31 PM): those stairs are dangerous for older folks
Mom (1:32 PM): why not?

ME (1:32 PM): because you have no loan, and the housing market is crap everywhere anyway.
Mom (1:33 PM): well thats what i thought all the way home, no more loans is nice too.... but if we keep this house, we need to do some upgrading...

Mom (1:33 PM): like... windows, our stairs are damaged and creak a lot and our bathrooms
Mom (1:34 PM): needs new cabinets, they are crap and the upstairs needs a new mirror
Mom (1:35 PM): i wish i hate white basins, toilet and bathtub too

Mom (1:35 PM): to do the upstairs up like that completely would cost 10 000
Mom (1:35 PM): workers want a lot of money
ME (1:35 PM): your cabinets are new

Mom (1:36 PM): the actual material isnt even that bad
Mom (1:36 PM): no they are still old
Mom (1:36 PM): the kitchen is new

Mom (1:36 PM): just to put in the cabinets in both b-rooms will cost 4000
ME (1:37 PM): ok
Mom (1:38 PM): they are crap, minto used the cheapes material possible and one can see that
Mom (1:38 PM): and the stairs we got are to narrow to start with

ME (1:38 PM): ok
Mom (1:38 PM): everyone is replacing them, thats why ((my brother)) always slipped
Mom (1:39 PM): plus our stairs are cracked
Mom (1:39 PM): one of these days we are going to fall right through it

ME (1:39 PM): ok
Mom (1:39 PM): one thing i wish we didnt have is that dividing wall in the livingroom and dinning room
Mom (1:40 PM): so stupid to put that in, doesnt serve a purpose at all... cause without one can choose whether one wants a nice big livingroom, or a both
Mom (1:41 PM): then i would use the front area as dining area, the one with the bay window

ME (1:41 PM): ok
ME (1:41 PM): do as you must
Mom (1:41 PM): anyway, then again it is nice not to worry about a stupid mortgage anymore

ME (1:42 PM): yep
Mom (1:42 PM): mortgage and car payments are the two biggest killers
Mom (1:43 PM): so if we would move, we would buy a bungalow, but dreaming is free
Mom (1:43 PM): hehe
Mom (1:43 PM): dont think i want one where its so built up, even roads are narrower
Mom (1:43 PM): it would be a bit outside
Mom (1:43 PM): just dreaming, dont mind me
Mom (1:44 PM): dad just came home
Mom (1:44 PM): c u hugs

ME (1:44 PM): k

IM with my mom

Just a snippet of an IM with my mom today, for your viewing pleasure


Mom (1:32 PM): is it hot down there?
Mom (1:33 PM): do u still have those palm trees? hope so, they add shade on your patio

ME (1:33 PM): yes, we do
ME (1:33 PM): but it's cold

Mom (1:33 PM): lol cold where u r, stop complaining, u grew up in canada
ME (1:34 PM): yep

Mom (1:34 PM): do a lot of bbq actions?

ME (1:34 PM): no

Mom (1:34 PM): why?
Mom (1:35 PM): do u sometimes use that pool?
Mom (1:36 PM): are the rabbits still there?

ME (1:36 PM): too expensive, no, and yes

Mom (1:36 PM): poor babies have to hide from those nasty coyotes
ME (1:38 PM): yep
Mom (1:38 PM): sad something has to die so others can live

Mom (1:39 PM): poor smokey would be long ago turned into a juicy steak for them

Mom (1:40 PM): but here he has a good time, comes and goes as he pleases, poopoo and peepee outside, he prefers that, basking in the sun watching the world go by, stuffing food readily available and right now sleeping at my feet happily dreaming

Mom (1:41 PM): anyway, i live u alone again, c u, going to play trivia till dad comes home
Mom (1:41 PM): oh those trivia questions are general knowledge questions

Mom (1:41 PM): c u

Pics from Canada!

At last...finally uploaded all the pics on Shutterfly from the Ottawa trip. Oh the glitz and the glamour! And how I miss it :(
Oh Canada...our home and native land...

Note that this was the bank that USED to be National Trust, the bank I worked at (eep...over ten years ago!)


And yes, I've got pics of the infamous BCBG red dress (worn last week on Dancing With The Stars...without Samantha Harris' stupid belt) that I tried on in Ottawa, later bought in OC, and destroyed in New York (can't show all of it because Syl's wedding dress is in the background):


I also got stuck going to the Mer Bleue Bog...i f*cking HATE the bog. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. Plus it was freezing, so I was stuck wearing my dad's sweatshirt. Want to know how much I hated it? Check it:


I found this makeshift button that was taken when Erin, Stace and I volunteered for some Ronald McDonald House fashion show...in 8th grade?


I love that Nat drove all the way from Montreal just to have breakfast with me for ONE hour (yeah, she looks high here)...and that through a fluke I ran into Jay and then saw him a ton during my stay :)


Sigh...can I go back now?

And this is why I seriously need therapy

So I'm finally getting around to posting pics and blogging about Ottawa and NY...

Now I had mentioned previously that my mother is obsessed with stocking up on paper goods. Didn't believe me? Here's what I found when I was home...and this doesn't include her stashes that i DIDN'T find!

This is from my old closet in the basement:


Here's the kleenex stash she's got in the basement cupboard:


This is the TP stash in one of the upstairs bedrooms:


This one cracks me up the most. This is the stash under the basement stairs. Not only is there TP, but those boxes to the right of the safe are all kleenex boxes, and seriously this stash goes up to my waist!


Here's the stash in my mom's closet:


I couldn't even TELL you which closet this is from:


Here's the ghetto TP holder my dad got at some garage sale (a new habit my parents have adopted since my brother and I moved out):


This is one side of the entryway hallway:


And here's the other side:


FINALLY....i went to stash some stuff in my old bathroom drawer, but instead I had no room because I found this:


I swear I'm not crazy...my parents made me this way!

Canada Trip: Days 3-7

Oh where oh where is Sabinas latest blog about the Emmys and the red carpet crazy outfits???
Nothin here for me to read about your opinions and thoughts!

She's in Canada...with no DVR and no time to watch tv (gasp)...I didn't even know the Emmys were on...

So I've totallys lacked on writing, mostly because Kraig was here and he spent more time on the laptop my dad's got in the basement than I did.

Friday was a day of shopping, picking up Kraig, more shopping (saw Syl's wedding dress, gorgeous, and tried on the most AMAZING red dress from BCBG. It's sad when Kraig is like "who cares that it's $340cdn. You HAVE to buy it. HAVE TO."), then did this all you can eat sushi thing. Then Kraig met my dad, which went exactly as I figured it would: my dad was friendly, cheery, all that good stuff. He even gave Kraig a HUG...my dad hasn't hugged me since I took the plane ride to move to California 8 years ago.

Day 4, Saturday, we got our Caveau de Schezwan on...it's a sit-down buffet. To die for. For real. Then we wandered around the market till 5:30, where my partayyyy night got on...hung out at Lonestar, drank like mad, and saw dozens of friends I haven't seen in ages. I was jonesin' for Poutine, and I had promised Bryan that my first time having poutine would be with him. Well Lonestar doesn't have poutine, so I went next door to Dunn's ordered gravy and cheese curds (also got a side of fries, only because they charged me for the whole damn poutine so I figured i might as well take the fries as well even though I had a plate of fries waiting for me back at Lonestar)...went back to Lonestar, and proceeded with my "do it yourself poutine"...so, so good...

After that, headed out to a lounge...went home, all good times...i had SO MUCH FUN (Thank you thank you thank you Bryan for organizing it!)

Sunday was The Bog day, which pretty uneventful....

Monday at 3:30am woke up to take Kraig to the airport, only to have the plane break and he then missed his connecting flight, sohe got back to LA pretty late. I spent the day with Christine and her boys (I am beyond impressed with her ability to maintain total calm in the face of chaos), got my poutine on with Bryan later :)

And finally, today, Day 7...got to see Erin at work, got to see Stacey's house and meet her adorable little girl Faith, got to chill for a bit with Sylvia and her mom, and got to enjoy my mother bitching me out for something so incredibly retarded. My dad agreed to drop me off at Syl's mom's house because he needed the car, and Syl offered to drive me home...this concept rocked my mother's foundations and she went into serious hysterics. I have no idea why. My dad and I were like "WHAT is your problem woman!?!"...

Tonight she wanted me to go through some of the crap I still have at home so I can pack stuff up to take home. Her logic is that my brother and i still have too much crap in our house (well, her house, whatever) and that she wants to clear stuff out. BUT...thing is, she's a PACK RAT. I've found over the course of the past few days things that i know 100% for sure that I threw out last time I was here (uhhh my Dangerous Minds soundtrack cassette? This ghetto VHS on makeup application?!)...so WHY am I throwing things out only to have her go back and insist that she may need it?!

She's also mad because she figures all I had to do was see my friends ONCE and that would be sufficient...ummm, no, i'm going to max out every second that i can with my friends since the next time I see them will be...who knows! (Okay it might be sooner than we think if Syl has a post-elopement reception in ottawa)

Going to Toronto for the next 2 days, and then Friday will be my last day...sniff...this has honestly been one of the most awesome trips EVER. I wish I could stop time...it's amazing how homesick I am. I went to the grocery store today and was like a moron touching all the products I had forgotten about...and i bought a big container of Kraft Peanut Butter...oh and these like baby cookie things that have chocolate on one side...how you can actually catch a Sens game on tv...seeing YTV...

My flight tomorrow is at 8am and my mom wants to leave at 6:15am. Her theory is that if something happens, that gives us enough time to call a cab. (Oh gee, I guess with my cell phone and the $20/min roaming fee since they're too neanderthal to get their own cell phones). It'll take us max 20 mins to get to the airport....

Canada Trip: Day 2 (part 2)

This is gonna be the placeholder for the blog about my mom's toilet paper stash. I would post it now, except I found two more spots: the front entry closet, plus her stash in the car, that need to be photographed. So...stay tuned. My mom is seriously obsessed.

Turns out though that a good pack of TP is $17 here in Canada...it's $11 in the US at Target for a good pack of Cottonelle...so maybe my mom has reasons!

Canada Trip: Day 2 (part 1)

Nothing, and i mean, NOTHING is more fabulous than sleeping in till noon on a work day. Especially when it's not because you're unemployed. I only woke up out of a sense of guilt that I was wasting my day, even though really...I don't feel guilty at all. I did however have a nightmare about some dude coming to kill me and my friends, and some random couple had Ryan's new baby Olivia...but the chick wasn't bonding with Olivia, so they handed her to me and was like "here, you take her", and I had a hard time sneaking her out because i was trying to avoid the killer.

Then in my dream i dreamt that i woke up from the nightmare, and told Nicole (Olivia's mom) about the nightmare, and she was laughing it off. So weird to pseudo-wake up from your dream only to have another dream where you're telling your dream to the next dream people.

Anyway.

After I got ready (blowdrying my hair with my mom's old blowdryer that all the power of a small child blowing on my head...whcih also reminds me, their vacuum is so old, the front popped off and now you can see the lightbulb on the front), I went upstairs because my mom was griping about something to my dad. All i heard was "Why do all these people get new things while I'm stuck with rubbish" my mom says rubbish as often as I say "douchebag", so I came up and was like "wassup yo with all this griping"...I guess my mom was complaining about how my dad goes to garage sales and buys alot of crap. Which is like calling the kettle black, but whatever.

Then the next convo went like this:
Me: You guys seriously need to get rid of your Powerpoint VHS tapes. They're outdated.
Dad: No, i don't know powerpoint that well, I might need to reference it.
Me: You're retiring, if you don't know it now you'll be okay. Trust me. Plus those tapes will be of NO use to you. It's changed so much now.
Mom: Yeah, i have those books you can use instead.

Me: No, those books are even WORSE. There's no such thing as "Microsoft Mail" anymore.

Dad: Well the idea is still the same.

Me: NO it's not. You can't even just go to "File, Print" anymore in Office 2007. You have to click the little logo int he corner. AND if you dont' know what you're doing, just do a search for "Powerpoint for beginners".

Dad: Oh good point. Can you install MS Office on that laptop in the basement? It's for the mosque.

Me: Sure, but you know Office isn't free right?

Dad: It's not?
Me: NO it's not, Microsoft doesn't give their moneymaker away for free!
Dad: well how did your brother get it on the upstairs computers?

Me: He had the CD...did he leave it?
Dad: no, he left nothing.

Me: Well i have one at home I can send you and tell you how to install it...
Mom: I don't understand, why don't you just copy it from the upstairs computers?
Me: It doesn't work that way. It's not like one file that i can drag to a CD.

Dad: So it's not free?

Me: I'll hook you up. Don't worry about it.

To quote cher: Old people can be so cute sometimes.

I also discovered why I couldn't call anyone...I was trying to call Christine, i KNEW i had her number right...it kept saying "your call cannot be completed as dialed". Then I was like "okay, I guess this is like one of those things where i need to dial 1-613 first, even though it's not like distance". Well then I got a "the number you have dialed is not long distance". So i'm like "well wtf!"...

Turns out I had to dial just the area code, no "1" before it. I swear I feel like i'm trying to call a third world country.

Canada: Day 1

I actually have an entry I wrote at the airport but...i disabled the radio on my laptop and argh, stupid me, i forgot what a f*cking pain in the ass it is to turn it back on (hitting Fn+F2 doesn't help).

Right now at this second, my mom is yelling at me from the other room about a necklace she gave me years ago. The conversation/yelling is going something like this:

Mom: Do you still have that necklace I gave you last time?
me: Which one? You've given me alot.l

MOm: The one i won from Zellers. (Note: zellers is like...Kmart...ghetttoooo)
Me: That one got all nasty and gross, it wasn't real gold. I threw it out.

Mom: (freaking out) Well of course it wasn't gold, why would you throw it out?

Me: Because it made my skin all green! This was like 20 years ago!

Mom: no, the one i gave you last time i was there.
Me: Oh, i don't know which one that is, but yes i still have it.
Mom: why are you throwing things out?
Me: it was 20 years old! It was just an old cheap necklace!
Mom: no, i just gave it to you! That wasn't cheap!
Me: i'm not TALKING about that one, I'm talking about the one from 20 years ago!
Mom: Well i'm talking about the one i just gave you!
Me: I don't know which one that is, you have to tell me more than just its origins.
Mom: it's the one from Zellers!
Me: I KNOW THAT...but you have to tell me WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

Mom: it's the one with those two things! Do you still wear it? Don't throw things out!

Me: WHAT TWO THINGS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?:!

Mom: you know, those things. It came from Zellers.


THis is pretty much the same conversation but with a different topic since i've arrived. Some things I've forgotten or re-learned about my parents:

1. No wonder I have a hoarder's mind. My mom has no less than ELEVEN frying pans. I keep bagging onher for it (until she yelled at me to stop, insisting she needed them, and i'm like "there's only 4 burners!"), she has a PILE of brand new cutting boards but still uses the same pink one from when we were kids, she has an entire boxed collection of crystal glasses (that she let me know were SO expensive when i went to scope them out, precariously balancing on the counter, as i also pointed out that she still has the little cup holders for soft boiled eggs that i guarantee have not been used since i was 4), and the ultimate:
There is not ONE SINGLE CUPBOARD in this house (and there's more cupboards than you can imagine, we have a finished basement) that doesn't contain some paper goods. THere's enough toilet paper and kleenex to last through World War III. Heck, even IV.

I told them I'm "shopping"...I've already claimed dibs on around 20 metal skewars for bbqing.

2. My parents have lost all touch in their sense of decorating. My house use to look decent, now...sigh, my parents are old. And they like going to garage sales. I can't begin to tell you the crap that has found it's way into this house. You'll have to see when I take pictures. It's just...wow. Right down to the wooden cat who's tail can hold a remarkable 7 rolls of toilet paper.

3. My parents will never listen to me. I tried to point out that there's some mold growing on the bathroom wall (I know, because when I rented in Santa Clara my lease required me to keep a spray bottle of bleach and spray down my bathroom whenever i saw the mold since there were no fans)...my mom just told me "it's behind the wall, stop worrying about it"...uhhh you can SEE IT all over the house. I'm sure I'm going to get cancer in a week.

4. How do parents' have more food than I'll ever buy? I opened the fridge and there was more food there than I've ever had in my fridge, even on days when we had bbqs. I mean, for real, it's incredible that i didn't gain a trillion pounds living at home.
Wait for the pics of the bagged milk. I know at least Tim and Shane have my back on the bagged milk! ALthough my mom likes to buy milk on sale in World War 3 War Time Saving mode...and puts them in the freezer. Who freezes milk? My parents, that's who.

5. You forget east coast architecture when you've been in california for so long.l The carpet is short (none of this berber stuff), the walls don't have that bizarro orange peel texture, and today it was raining...even weather "smells" different on the east coast. That could be all the worms on the ground (we don't get worms in california like here in Ottawa. We get effing snails. It's effing sick when you step on one by accident.)

6. It's weird when your parents dick around with the house, because then you think you know where stuff is...and then, it's not there. Or you look at something and you're like "did we always have that?". It's almost sad really, like someone erasing your memory so you're stuck with the bastardized version of it...that's how i feel about my house right now.

7. Back to the hoarding...my mom seriously buys so much stuff and then justifies it by saying it was on sale. They have THREE COIN SORTERS brand new, in box. Which i would consider taking one with me, except they're super big to accomodate loonies and toonies. Oh what else do my parents have? Like eighty random computer books from like 1970 that they got at a garage sale, two VHS tapes on how to use PowerPoint, promotional VHS tapes that are still sealed, and the best...this wooden coaster set that they've had since i was a kid and we would use when we played with our toys...i don't know if they keep it for memory's sake or if they really think one day, that wooden coaster holder with the black metal handle will come back in style.

Stay tuned for day 2. I told my mom I was going to take her to see a movie...she wanted to see Batman: The Dark Knight but i'd rather stab myself than see it again (i loved it but no desire to see it AGAIN) so I convinced her to see Be Kind: Rewind instead. But we have to go early because she doesn't "want to be running around all day"...no one gave her the memo that going to a movie is the laziest thing you can do.

Email from my mom

Got an infuriating email from my mom, but this snippet is so way out there that I HAD to post it:

i would suggest for u to stay with them. many times they mentioned on tv that toronto hotels, even the very best, suffer from bedbug problems. bring back one pregnant female and there will be a disaster. i don't want that problem in my house and u could take one with u back to cali.

How i'm not more crazy than I really am is beyond me.

From Christine

From Christine...so bored, might as well...

How late did you stay up last night and why?
I think 11ish? Why...because that's when I was tired? I don't know.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an D?
Yes. My ex boyfriend Don.

How's your life lately?
It's a'ight. Not overly great, but not overly bad.

Do you think you're a good person?
No. But i don't pretend to be either.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Well if I'm single it's because I wasn't happy with the relationship, so of course in that case single was better. But i'm not single now, thus that means I'm happy with my relationship and I have no desire to change that!

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Totally don't remember. I hate talking on the phone. It's so archaic. “Oh look at me, I'm Amish, talking on the phone”. Text, IM, or email me.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night? with who ?
Kraig, and two cats.

Do you miss anyone?
I miss my friends in Northern California (yo peeps i'll be up there in a few weeks!), and I miss everyone in Canada.

What are you listening to?
Would rather not say because then it'll incriminate me.

Is there one place you'd like to visit?
ITALY
ITALY
ITALY


Do you like winter time?
It's not really any different than the summer here...but if i had to pick, Summer would trump Winter.

What are you excited about?
My bbq this weekend. On a Saturdayyyyy...we all know what happens when we have bbqs on saturdays...hopefully this time no guest will threaten me or shove me or hitch hike home because we took their keys away!

Plans for today?
Going to the gym with Carrie tonight.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Dinner with my husband, than preparing for the bbq.

Do you want to dance?
Ummm, no. I miss clubbing, but I have all the rhythm of a cow in heat. (Christine, remember that good ol' line? Whatever happened to Chris G anyway?)

Something interesting happen lately?
Yes, but it's BAD interesting, it involves someone that my husband and I care about, and I'm definitely not posting it here.

Do you wish you were somewhere else now?
YES very much so. Even being in my car would be better.

Ever kissed a blond haired, blue eyed person?
Blond-ish yes. Does dark blond count? I mean, not anyone who was like, california-blond.

What did you do last night?
Did we not already discuss last night? I came home, texted some peeps, watched Bold and The Beautiful, went to bed.

What is your current annoyance?
I can't keep up in my life with the things that need to get done.

Where is your mom right now?
In Orleans.

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
If i tell you, that would incriminate me.

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
I read this thing about a dude who was a paraplegic. Maybe my mother did this to me because she used to tell me i should feel grateful for what i've got, but damn if I didn't feel just awful...like, as much as I hate my thighs or my boobs (HA or lack of them), I have everything in working order, and my life is much easier as a result. So then I feel like a complete asshole.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
YES

How did your day start off?
Bad. I had to get up super early so I could get to the grocery store...getting up early for anything unless it's “get up early so i could switch to a comfier bed and go back to sleep” is never good.

Does anyone hate you?
Yes, absolutely.

Are you happy with life?
It has it's moments.

Can you handle the truth?
Better than Tom Cruise, that's for damn sure.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Who's not retarded enough to be able to read See Spot Run in one day?

How's the weather today?
Nice and warm.

Who do you hate?
There are two people who fit the bill. Hate IS a very strong word, and there's extreme dislike vs. hate. To me, “hate” means I would have zero problems if they died tomorrow. And there's two people that fit the bill. See the above question about whether I think I'm a good person.

Did you speak to your mother today?
Nope.

Who are you talking to right now ?
No one. I'm filling this frickin' thing out.

How many months until your birthday?
12

What is on your desk right now?
Papers, a Dwight bobblehead, hand sanitizer, my purse, a sweater, my Chik Fil A “cereal” box promo, a billion empty cans of diet pepsi and diet coke.

How often do you give high fives?
Pretty often actually. I'm a loser like that.

Can you fill this out without lying?
Well that obviously is a catch-22 of a question isn't it.

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Yes (note to my husband: no, not THAT Matt)

How often do you eat fast food?
Only in dire straits.

Can you play guitar hero?
I played Rock Band, and I sucked so bad at it. But it's fun.

Last time you walked further than a block?
I dunno...hmmm crap I really don't remember. I guess last time I was at the gym with Carrie we walked on the treadmills for awhile, that was probably more than a block's worth.

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Lauren from book club is pretty close.

What are you plans for the night?
Didn't this already get asked? Going to the gym with Carrie. Then maybe do work.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Depends what you did when you were pre-Ex. Obviously Bryan and I can...but we were in elementary school and it was more than PG-13 clean. But if you boned the person, forget it. Ladder theory people, ladder theory. Guys will always want to bone you, especially if you're already low on the ladder in bonability.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
2 weeks ago.

Where is your biological father right now?
As opposed to my adopted father?! He's probably at home with my mom. Or the mosque.

When is your birthday?
Why don't you ask for my SSN too.

Was yesterday better than today?
YES very.

Do you have any nicknames?
Bean, Beanie, Beanbag....Kraig calls me Sweetie.

Are you mad about anything?
YES. I'm ridden with angst. WTF hence the purpose of this blog.

Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
a few weeks ago

Have you made any new friends recently?
Yep

Have you kissed anyone with a name starting with T?
Yep (geezus why don't we go through the entire alphabet or male baby name book while we're at it to see how much of a whore i am!)

Is anything bothering you right now?
My knee is acting up. Which makes me feel REALLY old. I knew that knee situation would catch up to me in my old age, i just hoped it would be closert to 50, not 31.

Are you a bad influence?
I agree with you Christine...no, but I can easily be influenced into bad behavior.

Night out or night in
Night in all the way. Nothing beats wearing something comfy, bowl of popcorn, movie.

Do you like someone right now?
Sure.

How do you feel about your life right now?
Stop asking me the same crap.

Explain why you last threw up?
Food made me sick.

What do you usually order at McDonald’s?
I don't eat at McD's. Especially not in the US. The only things I've consumed at a McD's in the US was 1 ice cream cone, and then sips from Kraig's diet coke. Let me tell you, I worked at McD's. They pump fat in the AIR. Even their WATER will make you gain weight. It's a bad scene, avoid it at all costs.

What kind of shoes did you wear today?
Gasp non-3” heels. These are 2.5” ones, brown kitten heels with a peep toe and a teenie dark brown bow.

Do you like scary movies?
YES very much so. I think The Ring made more of a profound impact on my life than my marriage, my immigration, and my childhood combined.

Roller coasters?
Big time. Unfortunately Kraig doesn't like them, so...i haven't been on a good scary one in years. Actually, since I moved to the US.

Who was the last person to comment on you?
Ummm see the below post about the dude and my ass.

What is today?
Thursday

What brand of batteries does your family use?
Energizer or Duracell

Is science your best academic subject in school?
YES, yes it was, along with math. I'd tattoo the period table of the elements if I could.

Ever drank nail polish remover?
Why yes, yes i have.

AIM, MSN or MySpace IM?
Are you high? AIM is so 1999 (“you've got mail”...wtf)...MSN is okay, but I'm anti-anything that's already installed on my computer when I'm installing Windows, and MySpace is so bloody irritating. So...it's Yahoo or FB IM all the way.

Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I'd rather sleep with Kraig when he's not snoring. And my cats.

Do you consider yourself creative?
Not at all.

Do you know how to play poker?
YES and I love it.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Sure, who hasn't?

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Obviously.

Do you ever wear a seat belt?
I can't believe I'm still answering this retarded survey.

Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes. 18th birthday. Can thank Kevin for that one, that motherf*cker.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
This survey's taken me a f*cking hour, and I type fast.

Do you have any famous relatives?
Well, my dad is famous amongst the muslim community...otherwise, no. Although i was once told we're related to Genghis Khan, which would REALLY explain the rage I've got going on.

Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Nope. Just one grandmother left.

Has the person who hurt you the most recently apologized?
Yes.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
Yes.

Are you a morning person or a night?
Night

Are you there for your friends?
Not as much as I should be.

Are you a forgiving person?
People have told me I'm too quick to forgive...it bites me in the ass later.

Do you smoke on the regular?
I must be to continue this survey.

Are you mad at anyone?
Yes.

Who was the last person you ate with?
Coworkers at a baby shower.

Ever punched somebody or been punched?
Have we not had this discussion?: Anyway, Yes and yes.

Do you have a job?
Yes, thankfully in this economy!

Are you easily confused?
Depends on who's trying to confuse me.

Do you think you would make a good parent?
No, but that wouldn't stop me.

You're able to go back into your life and change one thing, what is it?
We all know my gripe...i would have studied biotech/genetic engineering intead of computer science. BIGGEST regret. And I would have said “eff it” to my parents and gone to McMaster. Remember that question about being easily influenced?!

Are you perfect?
I'm anti-perfect, I'm so imperfect.

What do you think of when you think of being alone?
My brain is always racing a mile a minute. I have some serious inner-dialogue going on, alone or not.

Do you hide who you really are to keep your family happy?
LOL I know my childhood friends can agree with this: YES

Bhutto....

So yesterday I was in complete shock over her death...having family in Pakistan, I think i knew how Benazir Bhutto was before I knew who the prime minister of Canada or the US president was...

Since I don't have much to say since i'm so shocked, I figured people would get a kick out of my mom's comment on the situation:

as one political analyst said ... bhutto was not what the west made her out to be, she was corrupt just like the rest of them. blackmailed, imprisoned and tortured her opponents, had her brother killed who started his own political party, stole 2 billion $ from the pakistan treasury while in power. her husband looted pakistani museums selling artifacts on the black market amongst other things. both hardcore criminals and rotten to the core i would say.

I'm usually amazed how far out there my mom's opinions are, but I have to admit...I actually kind of dig that she has the complete opposite opinion of mainsteam north americans. Maybe that's why I like to play devil's advocate at times, because I grew up hearing both sides of a given situation. Obviously Bhutto is being hyped up, there's no denying it...but I'm not going to believe she outright had her brother killed.

Food for thought. Hmmm, maybe we should make that Exercise for Thought, 'cause seriously my brain does NOT need more food. It needs its cellulite-laden ass to get itself to the gym.

2 hours and mom's wisdom

I was born on my mom's 30th birthday...so obviously that means tomorrow my mom is turning 60...

She summarized tonight exactly why 30 bugs me:
i'm still trying to come to terms about the big 60. somehow the 5 in front of my age felt pretty good. as i said, from now on it's downhill all the way. lucky i'm still in good health.

yep. indeed.