This does however contradict what a male coworker once told me: guys don't use the stalls because then you know your coworker is pooping, and that's frowned upon.
Showing posts with label Random Thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Thought. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Random Thought: bathrooms
It has come to my attention that it's a well-known fact that the downstairs bathroom at any work is the "poop bathroom". The one where it's socially acceptable to go poop in.
This does however contradict what a male coworker once told me: guys don't use the stalls because then you know your coworker is pooping, and that's frowned upon.
This does however contradict what a male coworker once told me: guys don't use the stalls because then you know your coworker is pooping, and that's frowned upon.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
dang - comments
Dang, now that everyone reads my blog from Facebook and leaves comments there, it's like I'm a loser typing this here with no readers :P
(On another note, to add that Tony also is in the same "bucket" as Bryan in the last post, however Tony and I have a mutual hate for people...and since we're both people, the last thing we'd do is hang out alone at night watching a DVD. Maybe at best he'd watch one at home, i'd watch one at home, and then we'd send a text saying "that movie sucked donkey balls" at the end)
Friday, May 15, 2009
Grownup Rulez
Note to Facebook readers: original post is here in case images don't show up and you really give a crap. Which I don't blame you if you don't...i wouldn't.
It's been awhile since I've ranted about life as a grownup, so I figure the latest installment is due. A few more things I now know at 31-turning-32 that I probably didn't think too much about when I was 21-turning-22
1. Life doesn't always follow the rules.
Common sense right? But it's so ingrained in us...get good grades. Go to university. Get a job. Get a spouse. Get a kid or two. Get retirement. Go die.
When things go off-track from that, especially when you've tried so hard to follow the rules within your power, it really throws you for a loop. Is it a disservice to teach your kids the Rules of Life? Or is better to prepare them for anything...regardless of education, marriage, etc? I think of something Christine once wrote...she was writing about a series of crappy things that had happened, and ended it with "so is life".
Indeed. What life is isn't the list of grades/university/job/spouse/kids/retirement/death.
Life is everything surrounding that...DUIs for one whole beer, weekend trips with friends, miscarriages, summer barbecue traditions, learning the political game at work, onset of adult allergies, the inability to be with the one you love for reasons beyond your control, figuring out that your paycheck doesn't pay the rent, medical issues that stop everything else in your life (pay your copays with a credit card or keep ALL receipts when made by cash, those f*ckers will come back saying you didn't pay your copay...uh how else did I get to walk through the door and see the doc?!), juggling family visits, calls to customer service for the billion things that always seem to go wrong (lesson learned: bang on "0" a bunch)....there should be a Checklist of Life that parents should teach their kids before they truly start their life as a grownup on their own. The checklist would be huge, but if you can crank out some of the obvious ones then you'll better equip your offspring so they're not curled in a fetal position crying with their Linus-style blanket.
2. Being an adult carries a tremendous amount of responsibility
Again, you'd think common sense right? Not so much...people think they know this, but they don't. Hell, I'm even guilty of this I know, I know, you thought I was flawless. Retarded behavior once acceptable in your youth doesn't cut it as an adult. I'm not talking about say, getting wasted the night before a final exam.
I'm talking sacrificing an immediate want for a future need. When you realize that you can't have that iPod because rent is due next week. When you're able to remember that you can't go travel with friends because you know your yearly car insurance bill is due to come in any day now and you'll have to live lean for awhile. It's anticipating the future need without it being blatantly in front of you in bill format.
When I had my Sentra, every year around January something major would happen that would cost me $1k-$2k. Still cheaper than buying a new car, but yeah it was a good chunk of money that I had to start anticipating as a result of driving a deathtrap. So as soon as I paid my credit card for that, I would put money away not in a "holy crap i lost my job" emergency fund, but in an "argh, this month x y z things came up and I don't have the cash!" fund.
It's also not a monetary responsibility. There's much more responsibility to those around you. Realizing that you can't be a brat to your mom anymore...she's simply just elderly and old-skool, which may have annoyed you as a kid but as an adult it's now your responsibility to manage the relationship and be the peacemaker. While I'm nowhere the same brat who slammed her bedroom door so often it broke off the hinges, I'm significantly better at dealing with my bizarro mother. It's that when you make a commitment to friends, you honor them. Everything from paying them back for $20 loaned or a ride to the airport yes, one time I accidentally drove to work and by the time I got there received a call from Carrie wondering when I was going to pick her up. STILL feel awful about that to this day. If you borrow something, you give it back as soon as possible in the same condition they gave it to you, even if it means inconveniencing yourself. Being a person of character.
As an adult, you don't have to do the above...but you learn pretty quickly that life works generally much better when you do.
3. Life is unfair
This cliche is used so often, you'd think we'd truly understand this by the time we're 5. In your teens (assuming you haven't had to deal with some earth shattering "grownup" tragedy like death of your parents) it seems more like "But it's not FAIR that i have to work while SoAndSo doesn't have to!" or "Stupid bus! It came and left early! Now I'm going to miss my exam!". Or like the person who was behind you in line for a raffle ticket wins.
It's more along the lines of deciding whether to abort your baby when you receive a prognosis with horrible odds. Deciding if you should continue to be with someone you love even though in return you won't receive what you so desperately crave. Debating whether your beloved pet's condition is severe enough to warrant euthanasia and which decision is the less selfish of the two. What to do when faced with a compulsive gambling spouse who is jeopardizing everything but insists things are under control...do you stay and suffer, do you battle it through and beg for counseling, and even then do you stick around when it gets worse in hopes it'll get better, do you just pack up and bail?
Life is often unfair not because a single event will occur...rather, it's unfair because oftentimes you are faced to choose between two crappy options of the same weight but drastically different consequences.
Sophie's choice.
**side note: I spent forever reading that book, dying to know what her stupid choice was. I should have just rented the movie. I didn't care about the movie, the plot, anything. I just wanted to know the choice. However when I started reading I wasn't sure when the "choice" would be made evident so I didn't just flip to the last page to check, figuring that if the choice came in early in the book it might be worth reading through. Oh, how mistaken I was. By the end of it I was like "really? She just has to pick which of her two kids has to die? Well what the hell that wasn't worth reading this behemoth novel over. She could have just said "I made a crappy choice. I killed my son". Of which, I don't remember which kid she chose now anyway.
4. For the most part, you did create your life
When you're younger, you're stuck going with the flow of whatever your parents/the law/the man make you do. So eventually it's like your teacher shoving you on stage for a school play...rehearsing is fine and all, but uhhh...wow...there's alotta people out there. Looking at you. Everyone...looking...at...you. And it's all on you. No one's reading you your lines. Something on the set might break, you'll have to improvise. Deviate from the original plan. Someone might deliberately try to sabotage you. Someone might screw up. But the choices and decisions made, even if made unprepared on the fly, got you for the most part where you are today.
Find me a CEO of a large, successful organization who just stumbled upon that position.
Granted, the "life is unfair" part can guide a significant part. Having to declare bankruptcy because you got cancer and have thousands of bucks of medical bills...yeah, that's outta your hands. However, a lot of other things ARE within your control. Tree falls on your house? Out of your control. Responsible enough to have double-checked yearly that you have adequate insurance? Within your control. (Although i did see on the news a guy who had a tree fall on his house, insurance covered it, was dropped from his insurance, then another tree landed on it. That would suck donkey balls. So obviously there's a juggle between this item and the unfairness of life.) Losing your job? Might be out of your control. Foresight to save up and cut back on expenses? Within your control. Ties into #2...if you shopped like a mofo all year then don't expect pity when you lose your job and have nothing. You CHOSE that path. At some point when you're a full-on grownup you're capable of stepping back and seeing all the steps YOU took to get to where you are, bad or good.
5. Relationships are not the same as in your youth
Not talking romantic relationships. We're talking friendships here. In your teens and in college, you can be buddies with everyone...no matter their gender. It's all good, 'cause it's not like for the most part anyone's rushing to get married and almost no one IS married. You remain firm in your belief that a guy can "just be friends" with a girl. And then you grow up and realize it's not the same when you're in the next stage of life.
The stage of being a working professional, not a new grad. Of having friends that are married, divorced, co-habitating, on-again-off-again. Having kids, wanting kids, losing kids. Home buying. Not being able to afford to buy. Not buying because of a career decision. This a whole different stage in life, and relationships don't work the same way as in your teens/college years/early 20s.
The first time I realized this was when I got engaged. Suddenly, 90% of all guys I knew fell off the face of the earth. I was always the girl who hung out with the guys. I was the one who tagged along with the guys when they did retarded crap. I studied a program for 4 years with all guys minus ONE girl (thank the lord for Natalie). I went into a male-dominated industry where I'll be in a meeting with 25 guys...and me. Suddenly having a ton of guys mysteriously disappear was very odd for the girl who prided herself on being kind of a guy's girl.
It's not that I was some femme fatale...rather, the nature of the relationships with them was forced to change as a result of my status change. While maybe it was okay to hang out and watch a DVD on the couch with a buddy doing shots, it's not appropriate anymore when you have a significant other. It's okay to go to lunch with guys...but doing a late night dinner at 9? Not so much. Basically daylight sort of impacts what's acceptable when you're in a serious relationship/marriage (or they are).
I guarantee someone's going to argue with me on this, but consider that I'm the smacktalking chick who's not exactly girly-girl in her views on things. I have some married guy friends. I can go to lunch with them...it's public, it's outside, it's daylight...there's a 1-2 hour time limit...basically any level of sexiness is removed. If i were to go to dinner with any of them, their wives would be like "wtf?! Why am i not invited?"...and if they're busy, then that's even weirder...maybe the odd time if there's a one-time reason for it (cant think of any, but obviously there's exceptions to everything), but overall it would just be bizarre to just have dinner with any of my married guy friends if their wives aren't there. We would reschedule for when said wife was available. If i were single, no matter how much their wives trust me, I'm sure there would be at the very least smidgen of worry if I were to just be having dinner while they're not there. It's not so far left thinking to think that things can happen after-hours. Even if you're positive it wouldn't happen...well...things can happen. Things DO happen. Why even risk it?
It's not that you lose your independence. It's that it's not appropriate.
Consider it another way. When you're in high school and you go out, if the boy paid, you definitely knew you were on a date. As an adult, you could go out and the dude could be like "hey it's cool I got it" and you'd still be like "wtf...so is this a date? is it not?". In high school, dating is explicit and clear. Everyone knows who's involved with who, who's off limits. When you're an adult, you learn that you can date multiple people at once, bone different people at once, there's no formal definition to relationships at times. At any given moment I know people who are completely clueless to the nature or seriousness of a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Short of an explicit friends-with-benefits relationship, there's typically at least one person in a close guy/girl friendship who's wondering if maybe it's something more or wanting more.
Which, to bring it back, is that as you get older no matter how much of a guy's girl you used to be or how you're the sensitive guy who just relates better to chicks, you need to learn to form friendships with people of your own gender. As a dude, don't think for a second your relationship won't change the instant she gets a boyfriend. And for a chick, you think your best buddy's girlfriend...then wife...will be okay with you two constantly doing things one-on-one? Nope. Argue all you want. And then go out in the real world and open your eyes. Your role, your priority, changes.
Plus, it's always odd when you see someone who only has someone of the opposite sex as their friend. I know a chick who only has guy friends. It's pretty clear to everyone but all of them that subconsciously they're just waiting in the wings for their chance with her. (Ladder Theory stuff) Men can't see through the BS of another chick if they're close enough to be friends because that underlying even minute attraction to anything with a vagina creates a filter. Chicks, lacking in even the remote 0.1% chance of anything romantic happening that could occur with a guy friend, can see all. We see when a chick is fake, when they're acting, when they're being friendly in order to get attention from their guy friends, when they're incredibly annoying when they can't flirt their way through a friendship. You see what's wrong with them and why other chicks don't want to be around them...which is usually that girls that only have guy friends feel incredibly threatened by other women.
Meh, this point is pretty disjointed. I'm just saying...relationships that were okay when you were younger are just no longer appropriate when you grow up. Don't kid yourself into thinking the old adage of "guys and girls can just be friends!"...there's strings attached. And the significant other will always, at some point, raise a concern (or have a hissy fit, pick your method).
**Note to the exception: everyone's got an exception or two. I'm not saying to have ZERO friends of the opposite sex if they're single...I'm saying, overall. Like...Bryan...you're the shiz. I trust you 100000% with my life, and you're one of the most faithful friends I've ever had. I'd give you a kidney in a heartbeat. But if I had 4 other guys in my life even remotely like you and our friendship...then that'd be weird. Kraig would, and should, put the kibosh on that. Plus, you don't live here...if we lived nearby and hung out frequently till super late, it would be pretty inappropriate and I would have no desire to cockblock GirlfriendX at those hours or have her kick my ass.
6. When you're an adult, you get tired of yourself quickly
As an adult, any drama in your life just drains, tires, and bores you. You don't even find it interesting, let alone have the desire to tell other people about it. Far cry from when you could tell the same drama story over and over in your early 20s.
I also say this because I realize I've written A LOT, it's riddled with typos, I'm too lazy to edit and cut it down, and I'm tired, so...what I'm saying is right now, I don't even find myself interesting.
So is life!
It's been awhile since I've ranted about life as a grownup, so I figure the latest installment is due. A few more things I now know at 31-turning-32 that I probably didn't think too much about when I was 21-turning-22
1. Life doesn't always follow the rules.
Common sense right? But it's so ingrained in us...get good grades. Go to university. Get a job. Get a spouse. Get a kid or two. Get retirement. Go die.
When things go off-track from that, especially when you've tried so hard to follow the rules within your power, it really throws you for a loop. Is it a disservice to teach your kids the Rules of Life? Or is better to prepare them for anything...regardless of education, marriage, etc? I think of something Christine once wrote...she was writing about a series of crappy things that had happened, and ended it with "so is life".
Indeed. What life is isn't the list of grades/university/job/spouse/kids/retirement/death.
Life is everything surrounding that...DUIs for one whole beer, weekend trips with friends, miscarriages, summer barbecue traditions, learning the political game at work, onset of adult allergies, the inability to be with the one you love for reasons beyond your control, figuring out that your paycheck doesn't pay the rent, medical issues that stop everything else in your life (pay your copays with a credit card or keep ALL receipts when made by cash, those f*ckers will come back saying you didn't pay your copay...uh how else did I get to walk through the door and see the doc?!), juggling family visits, calls to customer service for the billion things that always seem to go wrong (lesson learned: bang on "0" a bunch)....there should be a Checklist of Life that parents should teach their kids before they truly start their life as a grownup on their own. The checklist would be huge, but if you can crank out some of the obvious ones then you'll better equip your offspring so they're not curled in a fetal position crying with their Linus-style blanket.
2. Being an adult carries a tremendous amount of responsibility
Again, you'd think common sense right? Not so much...people think they know this, but they don't. Hell, I'm even guilty of this I know, I know, you thought I was flawless. Retarded behavior once acceptable in your youth doesn't cut it as an adult. I'm not talking about say, getting wasted the night before a final exam.
I'm talking sacrificing an immediate want for a future need. When you realize that you can't have that iPod because rent is due next week. When you're able to remember that you can't go travel with friends because you know your yearly car insurance bill is due to come in any day now and you'll have to live lean for awhile. It's anticipating the future need without it being blatantly in front of you in bill format.
When I had my Sentra, every year around January something major would happen that would cost me $1k-$2k. Still cheaper than buying a new car, but yeah it was a good chunk of money that I had to start anticipating as a result of driving a deathtrap. So as soon as I paid my credit card for that, I would put money away not in a "holy crap i lost my job" emergency fund, but in an "argh, this month x y z things came up and I don't have the cash!" fund.
It's also not a monetary responsibility. There's much more responsibility to those around you. Realizing that you can't be a brat to your mom anymore...she's simply just elderly and old-skool, which may have annoyed you as a kid but as an adult it's now your responsibility to manage the relationship and be the peacemaker. While I'm nowhere the same brat who slammed her bedroom door so often it broke off the hinges, I'm significantly better at dealing with my bizarro mother. It's that when you make a commitment to friends, you honor them. Everything from paying them back for $20 loaned or a ride to the airport yes, one time I accidentally drove to work and by the time I got there received a call from Carrie wondering when I was going to pick her up. STILL feel awful about that to this day. If you borrow something, you give it back as soon as possible in the same condition they gave it to you, even if it means inconveniencing yourself. Being a person of character.
As an adult, you don't have to do the above...but you learn pretty quickly that life works generally much better when you do.
3. Life is unfair
This cliche is used so often, you'd think we'd truly understand this by the time we're 5. In your teens (assuming you haven't had to deal with some earth shattering "grownup" tragedy like death of your parents) it seems more like "But it's not FAIR that i have to work while SoAndSo doesn't have to!" or "Stupid bus! It came and left early! Now I'm going to miss my exam!". Or like the person who was behind you in line for a raffle ticket wins.
It's more along the lines of deciding whether to abort your baby when you receive a prognosis with horrible odds. Deciding if you should continue to be with someone you love even though in return you won't receive what you so desperately crave. Debating whether your beloved pet's condition is severe enough to warrant euthanasia and which decision is the less selfish of the two. What to do when faced with a compulsive gambling spouse who is jeopardizing everything but insists things are under control...do you stay and suffer, do you battle it through and beg for counseling, and even then do you stick around when it gets worse in hopes it'll get better, do you just pack up and bail?
Life is often unfair not because a single event will occur...rather, it's unfair because oftentimes you are faced to choose between two crappy options of the same weight but drastically different consequences.
Sophie's choice.
**side note: I spent forever reading that book, dying to know what her stupid choice was. I should have just rented the movie. I didn't care about the movie, the plot, anything. I just wanted to know the choice. However when I started reading I wasn't sure when the "choice" would be made evident so I didn't just flip to the last page to check, figuring that if the choice came in early in the book it might be worth reading through. Oh, how mistaken I was. By the end of it I was like "really? She just has to pick which of her two kids has to die? Well what the hell that wasn't worth reading this behemoth novel over. She could have just said "I made a crappy choice. I killed my son". Of which, I don't remember which kid she chose now anyway.
4. For the most part, you did create your life
When you're younger, you're stuck going with the flow of whatever your parents/the law/the man make you do. So eventually it's like your teacher shoving you on stage for a school play...rehearsing is fine and all, but uhhh...wow...there's alotta people out there. Looking at you. Everyone...looking...at...you. And it's all on you. No one's reading you your lines. Something on the set might break, you'll have to improvise. Deviate from the original plan. Someone might deliberately try to sabotage you. Someone might screw up. But the choices and decisions made, even if made unprepared on the fly, got you for the most part where you are today.
Find me a CEO of a large, successful organization who just stumbled upon that position.
Granted, the "life is unfair" part can guide a significant part. Having to declare bankruptcy because you got cancer and have thousands of bucks of medical bills...yeah, that's outta your hands. However, a lot of other things ARE within your control. Tree falls on your house? Out of your control. Responsible enough to have double-checked yearly that you have adequate insurance? Within your control. (Although i did see on the news a guy who had a tree fall on his house, insurance covered it, was dropped from his insurance, then another tree landed on it. That would suck donkey balls. So obviously there's a juggle between this item and the unfairness of life.) Losing your job? Might be out of your control. Foresight to save up and cut back on expenses? Within your control. Ties into #2...if you shopped like a mofo all year then don't expect pity when you lose your job and have nothing. You CHOSE that path. At some point when you're a full-on grownup you're capable of stepping back and seeing all the steps YOU took to get to where you are, bad or good.
5. Relationships are not the same as in your youth
Not talking romantic relationships. We're talking friendships here. In your teens and in college, you can be buddies with everyone...no matter their gender. It's all good, 'cause it's not like for the most part anyone's rushing to get married and almost no one IS married. You remain firm in your belief that a guy can "just be friends" with a girl. And then you grow up and realize it's not the same when you're in the next stage of life.
The stage of being a working professional, not a new grad. Of having friends that are married, divorced, co-habitating, on-again-off-again. Having kids, wanting kids, losing kids. Home buying. Not being able to afford to buy. Not buying because of a career decision. This a whole different stage in life, and relationships don't work the same way as in your teens/college years/early 20s.
The first time I realized this was when I got engaged. Suddenly, 90% of all guys I knew fell off the face of the earth. I was always the girl who hung out with the guys. I was the one who tagged along with the guys when they did retarded crap. I studied a program for 4 years with all guys minus ONE girl (thank the lord for Natalie). I went into a male-dominated industry where I'll be in a meeting with 25 guys...and me. Suddenly having a ton of guys mysteriously disappear was very odd for the girl who prided herself on being kind of a guy's girl.
It's not that I was some femme fatale...rather, the nature of the relationships with them was forced to change as a result of my status change. While maybe it was okay to hang out and watch a DVD on the couch with a buddy doing shots, it's not appropriate anymore when you have a significant other. It's okay to go to lunch with guys...but doing a late night dinner at 9? Not so much. Basically daylight sort of impacts what's acceptable when you're in a serious relationship/marriage (or they are).
I guarantee someone's going to argue with me on this, but consider that I'm the smacktalking chick who's not exactly girly-girl in her views on things. I have some married guy friends. I can go to lunch with them...it's public, it's outside, it's daylight...there's a 1-2 hour time limit...basically any level of sexiness is removed. If i were to go to dinner with any of them, their wives would be like "wtf?! Why am i not invited?"...and if they're busy, then that's even weirder...maybe the odd time if there's a one-time reason for it (cant think of any, but obviously there's exceptions to everything), but overall it would just be bizarre to just have dinner with any of my married guy friends if their wives aren't there. We would reschedule for when said wife was available. If i were single, no matter how much their wives trust me, I'm sure there would be at the very least smidgen of worry if I were to just be having dinner while they're not there. It's not so far left thinking to think that things can happen after-hours. Even if you're positive it wouldn't happen...well...things can happen. Things DO happen. Why even risk it?
It's not that you lose your independence. It's that it's not appropriate.
Consider it another way. When you're in high school and you go out, if the boy paid, you definitely knew you were on a date. As an adult, you could go out and the dude could be like "hey it's cool I got it" and you'd still be like "wtf...so is this a date? is it not?". In high school, dating is explicit and clear. Everyone knows who's involved with who, who's off limits. When you're an adult, you learn that you can date multiple people at once, bone different people at once, there's no formal definition to relationships at times. At any given moment I know people who are completely clueless to the nature or seriousness of a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Short of an explicit friends-with-benefits relationship, there's typically at least one person in a close guy/girl friendship who's wondering if maybe it's something more or wanting more.
Which, to bring it back, is that as you get older no matter how much of a guy's girl you used to be or how you're the sensitive guy who just relates better to chicks, you need to learn to form friendships with people of your own gender. As a dude, don't think for a second your relationship won't change the instant she gets a boyfriend. And for a chick, you think your best buddy's girlfriend...then wife...will be okay with you two constantly doing things one-on-one? Nope. Argue all you want. And then go out in the real world and open your eyes. Your role, your priority, changes.
Plus, it's always odd when you see someone who only has someone of the opposite sex as their friend. I know a chick who only has guy friends. It's pretty clear to everyone but all of them that subconsciously they're just waiting in the wings for their chance with her. (Ladder Theory stuff) Men can't see through the BS of another chick if they're close enough to be friends because that underlying even minute attraction to anything with a vagina creates a filter. Chicks, lacking in even the remote 0.1% chance of anything romantic happening that could occur with a guy friend, can see all. We see when a chick is fake, when they're acting, when they're being friendly in order to get attention from their guy friends, when they're incredibly annoying when they can't flirt their way through a friendship. You see what's wrong with them and why other chicks don't want to be around them...which is usually that girls that only have guy friends feel incredibly threatened by other women.
Meh, this point is pretty disjointed. I'm just saying...relationships that were okay when you were younger are just no longer appropriate when you grow up. Don't kid yourself into thinking the old adage of "guys and girls can just be friends!"...there's strings attached. And the significant other will always, at some point, raise a concern (or have a hissy fit, pick your method).
**Note to the exception: everyone's got an exception or two. I'm not saying to have ZERO friends of the opposite sex if they're single...I'm saying, overall. Like...Bryan...you're the shiz. I trust you 100000% with my life, and you're one of the most faithful friends I've ever had. I'd give you a kidney in a heartbeat. But if I had 4 other guys in my life even remotely like you and our friendship...then that'd be weird. Kraig would, and should, put the kibosh on that. Plus, you don't live here...if we lived nearby and hung out frequently till super late, it would be pretty inappropriate and I would have no desire to cockblock GirlfriendX at those hours or have her kick my ass.
6. When you're an adult, you get tired of yourself quickly
As an adult, any drama in your life just drains, tires, and bores you. You don't even find it interesting, let alone have the desire to tell other people about it. Far cry from when you could tell the same drama story over and over in your early 20s.
I also say this because I realize I've written A LOT, it's riddled with typos, I'm too lazy to edit and cut it down, and I'm tired, so...what I'm saying is right now, I don't even find myself interesting.
So is life!
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Grey matter keeps on churnin'
As much as I hate to admit this, gasp, I'm still learning. I'm not all-knowing. I'm not the wise genius that you all probably think that I am. I know, I know...I probably should have warned you to sit down first. I know. So a few things that have seeped into my grey matter:
1. "Fade" is another word for "drunk".
2. Experion no longer allows consumers to buy their credit score. So businesses can use it to determine if you're elligible for crap, but you can't find out in advance. At best, you can get a copy of it when businesses run your credit check. This blows my mind, I seriously think the whole thing is shady (like if they f*ck up, and i get stuck with a crappier loan and later would have to pay to refinance again once the mistake is made, THEY should be accountable for that).
3. Patience is just not my thing. I can say i'm patient...I am not. I should just own it, rock it, and be done with it.
4. Hungarian Paprika is NOT the same as regular paprika. It should be called "Paprika on Steroids".
5. If you don't have a wine fridge, you can store white wine in your regular fridge, but red wine you should just pop in the fridge before you serve it.
6. Lasers do NOT fix everything. They don't fix really bad scars that will turn white. Which is fine for 99% of the population that i'm around, but being half brown that poses a big, big problem.
7. Kickball is surprisingly harder than it looks.
8. Strawberry-rhubarb pie is not easy to find in orange county.
9. Synthetic oil is better for your car than...well whatever hell else you normally get with an oil change. it's worth the extra $20.
10. For all my impatience and bitchiness, I don't really give a crap about Octomom. I think she's got alot of nerve to want help paying for her Masters degree since I can't afford to go out and get my own, but I really don't give a crap about her, her whacked out doctor, or her bizarro lips. There's alot more issues I have with where my tax dollars go than to her...i can handle the 10 cents a paycheck if it pays for a lifetime of seeing her 8-fetus-belly forever on the internet.
11. It's very, very easy to let time fly and become a bad friend without realizing it. I owe so many people emails, cards, you name it. My apologies to the peanut gallery...my mind has been elsewhere the past few months. No excuse, but rather, an explanation.
12. How we view ourselves in highschool seems to carry over into the adult world...if you felt like a nerd in highschool, you still feel that way now. Its kind of crazy because i get compliments now that i never, ever got in highschool/college but they're very hard to accept because conventional thinking is that things were better/looked better when we were young. But then again...I look at J Lo in her Fly Girl era vs. her...well her "hey my name is J Lo" era. Even Angelina looked better in Mr & Mrs Smith than she did in Hackers (granted, she also had a nose job. but either way, girl is looking ROUGH now).
13. What matters in your potential life partner at 20 is different than at 30. I wonder if it'll be different at 40. Hopefully at 20 you're mature enough to have foresight to what you MIGHT want at 30. Hotness matters at 20. Good job and stability matters at 30.
14. The wedding industry has changed ALOT in the 6 years since I got married. The bar has been raised big time.
15. There comes a point in your life where you have to accept that you aren't as low-maintenance as you think you are. Unless you've been slumming it the same way you did in your early 20s, there's no way in your 30s you're actually okay living a lower quality of life. We all like to think that it's an option, that we could totally suck it up if we had to...um yeah time to wake up sistah. Once you've been in the working world for a good number of years (REAL working world, i.e. post-university, not post-McDonald's), you can't function without things that have become regular-yet-luxury staples, like department store foundation (Cover Girl? F*ck that orange crap!) or Woolite.
16. I am much more addicted to tv than even I'm willing to admit, and I admit that i watch ridiculous amounts. I straight up just need a DVR hooked up to an IV.
1. "Fade" is another word for "drunk".
2. Experion no longer allows consumers to buy their credit score. So businesses can use it to determine if you're elligible for crap, but you can't find out in advance. At best, you can get a copy of it when businesses run your credit check. This blows my mind, I seriously think the whole thing is shady (like if they f*ck up, and i get stuck with a crappier loan and later would have to pay to refinance again once the mistake is made, THEY should be accountable for that).
3. Patience is just not my thing. I can say i'm patient...I am not. I should just own it, rock it, and be done with it.
4. Hungarian Paprika is NOT the same as regular paprika. It should be called "Paprika on Steroids".
5. If you don't have a wine fridge, you can store white wine in your regular fridge, but red wine you should just pop in the fridge before you serve it.
6. Lasers do NOT fix everything. They don't fix really bad scars that will turn white. Which is fine for 99% of the population that i'm around, but being half brown that poses a big, big problem.
7. Kickball is surprisingly harder than it looks.
8. Strawberry-rhubarb pie is not easy to find in orange county.
9. Synthetic oil is better for your car than...well whatever hell else you normally get with an oil change. it's worth the extra $20.
10. For all my impatience and bitchiness, I don't really give a crap about Octomom. I think she's got alot of nerve to want help paying for her Masters degree since I can't afford to go out and get my own, but I really don't give a crap about her, her whacked out doctor, or her bizarro lips. There's alot more issues I have with where my tax dollars go than to her...i can handle the 10 cents a paycheck if it pays for a lifetime of seeing her 8-fetus-belly forever on the internet.
11. It's very, very easy to let time fly and become a bad friend without realizing it. I owe so many people emails, cards, you name it. My apologies to the peanut gallery...my mind has been elsewhere the past few months. No excuse, but rather, an explanation.
12. How we view ourselves in highschool seems to carry over into the adult world...if you felt like a nerd in highschool, you still feel that way now. Its kind of crazy because i get compliments now that i never, ever got in highschool/college but they're very hard to accept because conventional thinking is that things were better/looked better when we were young. But then again...I look at J Lo in her Fly Girl era vs. her...well her "hey my name is J Lo" era. Even Angelina looked better in Mr & Mrs Smith than she did in Hackers (granted, she also had a nose job. but either way, girl is looking ROUGH now).
13. What matters in your potential life partner at 20 is different than at 30. I wonder if it'll be different at 40. Hopefully at 20 you're mature enough to have foresight to what you MIGHT want at 30. Hotness matters at 20. Good job and stability matters at 30.
14. The wedding industry has changed ALOT in the 6 years since I got married. The bar has been raised big time.
15. There comes a point in your life where you have to accept that you aren't as low-maintenance as you think you are. Unless you've been slumming it the same way you did in your early 20s, there's no way in your 30s you're actually okay living a lower quality of life. We all like to think that it's an option, that we could totally suck it up if we had to...um yeah time to wake up sistah. Once you've been in the working world for a good number of years (REAL working world, i.e. post-university, not post-McDonald's), you can't function without things that have become regular-yet-luxury staples, like department store foundation (Cover Girl? F*ck that orange crap!) or Woolite.
16. I am much more addicted to tv than even I'm willing to admit, and I admit that i watch ridiculous amounts. I straight up just need a DVR hooked up to an IV.
Friday, February 13, 2009
My favorite love story for modern times
This is quite possibly the best love story ever:
Boy Photoshops Girl: A Flickr Love Story
In a nutshell: a chick in England and a dude from the states meet on Flickr when they notice their pics are similar...then they start a collaboration project where she photographs herself, emails it to him, and he tweeks it to make it look like they're in the pic together. Like crazy stuff where he's holding her, etc.
And then they finally met. True love yo!
They actually have their own company even though they don't live in the same country (she has to finish up school), Aaraon and Rosie Fotography ARF. This would make me question the tax ramifications, but i guess in a global economy you figure it out. And that's not the point, but leave it to me to read a love story and think "how does that work for taxes and claiming your income?"
I guess there's alot of cynics out there, but here's why I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant love stories I've ever head of:
1. It was a fluke they ever met.
Do you know how many people are on Flickr? What are the odds of two people connecting on that level? I could write say 100 guys on Flickr, and I guarantee NONE of them would ever be my type, be interested in what i'm interested in, or want to do any project with me (where I wouldn't end up being murdered, robbed, or pimped out).
2. They live an ocean apart
Nothing speaks love like distance. Okay well maybe not, but if you can still grow some sort of bond while having little or no physical contact, that speaks incredible volumes. Now realistically, I'm sure they were off dating other people and what not...but clearly something was growing between them. She probably got all giggly when posing for pictures, he got all giddy in anticipation of her reaction once he posted the final result, hoping for her approval.
3. They're goodlooking
You wanna argue with me that that's not part of this love story? Suck my balls. That's part of the fantasy part of it...they are photo-friendly, which is a necessary part of their appeal since their love is THROUGH photos. If they were ugly mofos, people wouldn't have been interested, they wouldn't have continued their collaboration, they wouldn't have gotten the funds to continue their business, so on and so forth.
4. They're real...and they're nerdy
This is a love story for modern times. This isn't chivalry, some dude fighting for the love of his woman, a story of strife...it's real. Just two people who pursued their hobby, their inner geeks, and as a result built a bond. It makes anyone think "Wow...that could be me!"
(Granted...this is the exception, not the rule. For more info, see My blog entry on HJNTIY
5. They're not trying to make a buck
At least, according to the article. They're hocking their business of photo-editing, but you can't buy their prints straight off the site (from my search anyway). It just seems like they truly are passionate for what they do, which is what brought them together. Nothing shady.
6. It makes you believe
Okay, maybe I'm a sucker. yeah, I admit it. i'm a sucker for love. I'm a sucker for all things Disney. i'm a sucker when I watch Love Actually and the music roars at the end as Collin Firth goes to propose to Aurelia with the town following him, or Mark telling on paper to Keira Knightley that she's perfect and he's wasted heart will love her till she gets all wrinkly/nasty...i'm a SUCKER. I want to BELIEVE. I really do. This story...makes you believe.
And that's as sappy as you're going to get from me.
Boy Photoshops Girl: A Flickr Love Story
In a nutshell: a chick in England and a dude from the states meet on Flickr when they notice their pics are similar...then they start a collaboration project where she photographs herself, emails it to him, and he tweeks it to make it look like they're in the pic together. Like crazy stuff where he's holding her, etc.
And then they finally met. True love yo!
They actually have their own company even though they don't live in the same country (she has to finish up school), Aaraon and Rosie Fotography ARF. This would make me question the tax ramifications, but i guess in a global economy you figure it out. And that's not the point, but leave it to me to read a love story and think "how does that work for taxes and claiming your income?"
I guess there's alot of cynics out there, but here's why I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant love stories I've ever head of:
1. It was a fluke they ever met.
Do you know how many people are on Flickr? What are the odds of two people connecting on that level? I could write say 100 guys on Flickr, and I guarantee NONE of them would ever be my type, be interested in what i'm interested in, or want to do any project with me (where I wouldn't end up being murdered, robbed, or pimped out).
2. They live an ocean apart
Nothing speaks love like distance. Okay well maybe not, but if you can still grow some sort of bond while having little or no physical contact, that speaks incredible volumes. Now realistically, I'm sure they were off dating other people and what not...but clearly something was growing between them. She probably got all giggly when posing for pictures, he got all giddy in anticipation of her reaction once he posted the final result, hoping for her approval.
3. They're goodlooking
You wanna argue with me that that's not part of this love story? Suck my balls. That's part of the fantasy part of it...they are photo-friendly, which is a necessary part of their appeal since their love is THROUGH photos. If they were ugly mofos, people wouldn't have been interested, they wouldn't have continued their collaboration, they wouldn't have gotten the funds to continue their business, so on and so forth.
4. They're real...and they're nerdy
This is a love story for modern times. This isn't chivalry, some dude fighting for the love of his woman, a story of strife...it's real. Just two people who pursued their hobby, their inner geeks, and as a result built a bond. It makes anyone think "Wow...that could be me!"
(Granted...this is the exception, not the rule. For more info, see My blog entry on HJNTIY
5. They're not trying to make a buck
At least, according to the article. They're hocking their business of photo-editing, but you can't buy their prints straight off the site (from my search anyway). It just seems like they truly are passionate for what they do, which is what brought them together. Nothing shady.
6. It makes you believe
Okay, maybe I'm a sucker. yeah, I admit it. i'm a sucker for love. I'm a sucker for all things Disney. i'm a sucker when I watch Love Actually and the music roars at the end as Collin Firth goes to propose to Aurelia with the town following him, or Mark telling on paper to Keira Knightley that she's perfect and he's wasted heart will love her till she gets all wrinkly/nasty...i'm a SUCKER. I want to BELIEVE. I really do. This story...makes you believe.
And that's as sappy as you're going to get from me.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
In defense of Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day...my opinion (and really...the only opinion that matters!)
It seems like Valentine's Day is massive hot topic button.
No, not this type of Hot Topic
Naturally the tendency is to like Valentine's Day only when you're in a relationship. Which makes sense...it's all about love, sex, and the other warm fuzzy stuff. A whole day to celebrate your LOVE, oh golly gee, what could be better...
And if you're single, then either you just treat it like a neutral day or you vehemently oppose anything related to all things reminding you that you're NOT in a relationship.
I'm here to argue in defense of Valentine's Day. Yes...me...the girl who'd rather stab her eyes out than deal with Christmas and every other pagan holiday.
I get the rationale of "why do you need a day to tell you to get flowers, you should be doing that anyway blah blah". Yes, which is true when it comes to the materialistic side of it...the same with Christmas as well. Some things are just common sense: don't buy roses on valentine's day. Yes, they are overpriced. It's not the stores' fault. I worked in a flower shop (Bryan: Select Roses on 10th line if you remember!), it's the suppliers in south america who jack it up, and thus the retail stores have to do the same.
But as great as it is to think of the utopic situation where out of the blue you get roses, jewelry, whatever, some dudes/couples need a little help. Let me put this in perspective:
Kraig bought a timeshare before i met him. Trust me, it's the worst purchase a person can make. It's the only property that goes DOWN in value right off the bat. Anyway you can "deposit" it and exchange your week for weeks elsewhere but there's a deadline (hence the word "time" in "timeshare"). I can truly say that without those deadlines, we never ever would have vacationed anywhere. It's easy to say "someday we'll go to X place" but with vacation time, schedules, money, time just flies by and you realize it's been years since you've gone anywhere for more than just a 3 day weekend. It was fantastic to be FORCED to take a vacation and be guilt-free about it (for those of us that have guilt over taking time off of errands and other To-Dos).
Valentine's Day is nice because you don't NEED an excuse to have to take the time off. To tell people you are busy. To revel in your love. To have a day where you specifically think "damn...i LOVE this guy/girl." To have a set scheduled day where damn right, you're getting laid. To find a card that expresses everything you feel if you're not a fantastic writer yourself (you don't get the same concentration of cards focused on love any other day of the year...and those are people PAID to write about love. For $4, if it gets the point across that youc an't the rest of the year, that's a good investment).
I'll admit, I'm a little biased. Valentine's Day is a chick holiday with a focus on jewelry and chocolate (i'll subtract the flowers...as much as I like them, I've been quite scarred by the flower shop job. I like the IDEA of flowers and i'm a little picky based on the cleanup factor later..stargazer lillies are AWFUL, MESSY, and a PAIN IN THE ASS to dispose of.)
Okay, so for single people, there's a whole other slew of arguments in favor of it. Nothing bonds women better than bitching about men and consuming chocolate. Much like Valentine's Day is a great excuse for couples to get together, the same applies to chicks and their girlfriends on Vday.
I've told this story a billion times but I'll say it again: my best Valentine's Day was not with a guy...it was when I was single for the first time in a few years and my friend Christine brought a carnation to work for me, saying she knew it would be a bit rough on me since it was my first Vday experience singlehood. It was the sweetest gift ever: it's one thing when your boyfriend gives you a flower on Vday, it's another when your friend who has no obligation to get you something still remembers you.
I guess my point is: it's about Love, in all shapes and forms. Whether its friends or your significant other. Christmas is about traditions and buying crap, St Patrick's Day is about drinking, July 4th is about USA...a day filled with Love, in any form, sounds pretty damn good to me.
(no matter how bitter or upset I may be on that day)
It seems like Valentine's Day is massive hot topic button.
No, not this type of Hot Topic
Naturally the tendency is to like Valentine's Day only when you're in a relationship. Which makes sense...it's all about love, sex, and the other warm fuzzy stuff. A whole day to celebrate your LOVE, oh golly gee, what could be better...
And if you're single, then either you just treat it like a neutral day or you vehemently oppose anything related to all things reminding you that you're NOT in a relationship.
I'm here to argue in defense of Valentine's Day. Yes...me...the girl who'd rather stab her eyes out than deal with Christmas and every other pagan holiday.
I get the rationale of "why do you need a day to tell you to get flowers, you should be doing that anyway blah blah". Yes, which is true when it comes to the materialistic side of it...the same with Christmas as well. Some things are just common sense: don't buy roses on valentine's day. Yes, they are overpriced. It's not the stores' fault. I worked in a flower shop (Bryan: Select Roses on 10th line if you remember!), it's the suppliers in south america who jack it up, and thus the retail stores have to do the same.
But as great as it is to think of the utopic situation where out of the blue you get roses, jewelry, whatever, some dudes/couples need a little help. Let me put this in perspective:
Kraig bought a timeshare before i met him. Trust me, it's the worst purchase a person can make. It's the only property that goes DOWN in value right off the bat. Anyway you can "deposit" it and exchange your week for weeks elsewhere but there's a deadline (hence the word "time" in "timeshare"). I can truly say that without those deadlines, we never ever would have vacationed anywhere. It's easy to say "someday we'll go to X place" but with vacation time, schedules, money, time just flies by and you realize it's been years since you've gone anywhere for more than just a 3 day weekend. It was fantastic to be FORCED to take a vacation and be guilt-free about it (for those of us that have guilt over taking time off of errands and other To-Dos).
Valentine's Day is nice because you don't NEED an excuse to have to take the time off. To tell people you are busy. To revel in your love. To have a day where you specifically think "damn...i LOVE this guy/girl." To have a set scheduled day where damn right, you're getting laid. To find a card that expresses everything you feel if you're not a fantastic writer yourself (you don't get the same concentration of cards focused on love any other day of the year...and those are people PAID to write about love. For $4, if it gets the point across that youc an't the rest of the year, that's a good investment).
I'll admit, I'm a little biased. Valentine's Day is a chick holiday with a focus on jewelry and chocolate (i'll subtract the flowers...as much as I like them, I've been quite scarred by the flower shop job. I like the IDEA of flowers and i'm a little picky based on the cleanup factor later..stargazer lillies are AWFUL, MESSY, and a PAIN IN THE ASS to dispose of.)
Okay, so for single people, there's a whole other slew of arguments in favor of it. Nothing bonds women better than bitching about men and consuming chocolate. Much like Valentine's Day is a great excuse for couples to get together, the same applies to chicks and their girlfriends on Vday.
I've told this story a billion times but I'll say it again: my best Valentine's Day was not with a guy...it was when I was single for the first time in a few years and my friend Christine brought a carnation to work for me, saying she knew it would be a bit rough on me since it was my first Vday experience singlehood. It was the sweetest gift ever: it's one thing when your boyfriend gives you a flower on Vday, it's another when your friend who has no obligation to get you something still remembers you.
I guess my point is: it's about Love, in all shapes and forms. Whether its friends or your significant other. Christmas is about traditions and buying crap, St Patrick's Day is about drinking, July 4th is about USA...a day filled with Love, in any form, sounds pretty damn good to me.
(no matter how bitter or upset I may be on that day)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Of spandex and mosh pits
So way back a month ago, I decided it was time for me to branch out of my "comfort zone".
Which meant it was time I went to my very first goth club. Off Crenshaw.
We parked in some store parking lot and this random dude insists it's like $5 to park. Naturally I start off the night by arguing with him, saying he could be ANY random guy just asking for $5, like don't we get a ticket or something? And it doesn't say it's a paid lot! Well he threatened to tow in whatever broken English so we decided to just pay up rather than risk being stranded in the ghetto ("..innn the ghhetttooo!")
I had a complete blast, loved it, and would go back in a heartbeat (much props to Justin and Sarah for putting up with my prepster-ass). I texted a billion people during the night, fortunately Carrie saved my texts. Here's what i wrote:
This will be a blog entry…egads.
[I’m wearing red and black.]
Goth people are white. They have only white blond hair or jet black.
Goth people can’t dance worth sh1t. I’m like, a frickin’ ballet dancer next to them.
Seriously. Serrriously. Two drinks and two shot later and I’m not dr*nk and a guy with an eye patch just hit on me. What the…
There’s two hotter guys here…Sarah and I scoped them out. I think one is g@y.
Goth people like being anti-establishment by wearing lots of embellishments.
I’m dancing all hip hop in a goth club.
I dropped my lip balm.
Oh sh1t…Justin’s in a mosh pit. I haven’t seen a mosh pit in ten years. I’m so old!
Please remind me for the blog that goth bands think they know German.
This one actually really bugged me, like that night I felt I needed to represent for Austrians or something...1/2 austrian represent!
And remind me they all have Macs.
Some guy is wearing spandex, goggles, and fish fins on his back.
Remind me that goth kids put bandanas around their face like it’s the apocalypse.
Effing guy with an eye patch is all over this ish. I don’t “do” guys with one eye!
Damn, Sarah deserves an award for putting up with my ass all night!
When we got back to the car, the pseudo-attendant was still there. I guess he was legit.
Which meant it was time I went to my very first goth club. Off Crenshaw.
We parked in some store parking lot and this random dude insists it's like $5 to park. Naturally I start off the night by arguing with him, saying he could be ANY random guy just asking for $5, like don't we get a ticket or something? And it doesn't say it's a paid lot! Well he threatened to tow in whatever broken English so we decided to just pay up rather than risk being stranded in the ghetto ("..innn the ghhetttooo!")
I had a complete blast, loved it, and would go back in a heartbeat (much props to Justin and Sarah for putting up with my prepster-ass). I texted a billion people during the night, fortunately Carrie saved my texts. Here's what i wrote:
This will be a blog entry…egads.
[I’m wearing red and black.]
Goth people are white. They have only white blond hair or jet black.
Goth people can’t dance worth sh1t. I’m like, a frickin’ ballet dancer next to them.
Seriously. Serrriously. Two drinks and two shot later and I’m not dr*nk and a guy with an eye patch just hit on me. What the…
There’s two hotter guys here…Sarah and I scoped them out. I think one is g@y.
Goth people like being anti-establishment by wearing lots of embellishments.
I’m dancing all hip hop in a goth club.
I dropped my lip balm.
Oh sh1t…Justin’s in a mosh pit. I haven’t seen a mosh pit in ten years. I’m so old!
Please remind me for the blog that goth bands think they know German.
This one actually really bugged me, like that night I felt I needed to represent for Austrians or something...1/2 austrian represent!
And remind me they all have Macs.
Some guy is wearing spandex, goggles, and fish fins on his back.
Remind me that goth kids put bandanas around their face like it’s the apocalypse.
Effing guy with an eye patch is all over this ish. I don’t “do” guys with one eye!
Damn, Sarah deserves an award for putting up with my ass all night!
When we got back to the car, the pseudo-attendant was still there. I guess he was legit.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Serious random thoughts
Must purge brain or else it'll explode. In no particular order, thoughts running through my teenie grey matter:
Kah-toe-mahh-tayyy
- Must buy Nars Orgasm blush. Sarah turned me onto it...it's gorgeous gorgeous. Worth every penny. Looks good on any skin color. Even men should buy it, it's THAT good.
- Getting over a caffeine addiction is HARD. I've done it before, but damn if caffeine isn't like crack. I've never had crack, but I can only assume that the crankiness and shakes associated with withdrawals are somewhat comparable. When I don't get me some diet pepsi (yes, go ahead, say it..."what are you, French?" Suck it...Diet P is way better than Diet C), I become an uncontrollable bitch. I've allowed myself 2 sodas if I go out for lunch (one drink, one refill...that's it), and mannnnn the waitress must think I'm psychotic because I literally bounce up and down in my seat in anticipation of my drug of choice. Thankfully, Tazo Tea is my rehab drug.
- Entourage better f*cking win at the SAG awards tonight.
- Do you ever find yourself getting emotional over really retarded things? Almost losing this blog to jackass hackers completely took my breath away. I almost lost my Jackball antenna topper when my car was washed yesterday...it's old, it's filthy, and I ended up throwing it out when they found it, but I was in hysterics freaking out at Toyota to find that damn Jackball.
- I'm too lazy to use HTML to make bullets, so the indentation is all off 'cause i'm using Blogger's template. What-eva.
- Thank the Lord for Burn Notice starting up again. I have no idea if real spies do the things in this show, but I like to feel like I'm getting some insider info on how they work. Like turning a can of spray air upside down creates dry ice. I could test that theory. But I trust what Michael Weston tells me. He does no wrong.
- In the category of all things aging, I thought my freakout over turning 30 was enough to last a decade. Oh, how naive I was. That freakout lasted all of 1.5 years. The thought of turning 32 is gripping me to no end. And don't give me this "age ain't nuthin' but a numba" garbage. 32 seals the deal that you really are in your 30s, and you can't even attempt to piggyback on your 20s anymore.
- I love that at 11:30pm, Janet texted me that she saw Gretchen from Real Housewives of OC. I love that I cared. I've got no shame in my game. I'm not celebrity obsessed because I think they're great...I just love picking them apart. I may give up diet pepsi, but I will never give up my Pop Culture vice. NEVER! I want my gravestone to read: Would have won World Series of Pop Culture. (Marcella: you would have had to be on my team of course!)
- Why is it that the more children Angelina Jolie pops out, the more matronly she looks? I mean, I understand things change when you have a child but dang woman, you are still gorgeous. Your fashion choices lately are nothing more than a designer gown version of a grey sweatsuit.
- Obsession has a new name, and its called: Turkey Sandwiches.
- I don't understand why we all love Bath & Body Works. I mean, it's just SOAP people. And yet, I could shop there every minute of every day. Their stuff is cheap and it's the BEST.
Kah-toe-mahh-tayyy
Friday, January 23, 2009
THANK THE LORD
No need to panic people...okay you probably weren't panicking...my frickin' gmail account was swiped...which is linked to blogger. I'm shaking. The last time I felt this violated was when my ebay account was hacked, but that's one of those things where it's paid, so there's a phone number associated with it...this is free, gmail is free, so you're SOL if it goes awry.
I didn't realize how much I love this blog. It reminds me of Gina...for those not in the know, she's a friend of mine who died of cancer awhile back. It was her suggestion that I create a blog...for some reason, even though we didn't talk much towards the end of her life, it still matters to me to keep this going.
Anyway, I figured out a workaround but I'm terrified of it ever happening again (who knew that 4 years of bitching would be sentimental to me), so I bought RandomThoughtsAndGripes.com ...and eventually I'll move it over.
Like that other website i have but won't list here for incriminating purposes :P
Stay tuned for the more legit version of my bitching...speaking of, yes I know I need to do something with TeamBitches.com ....my laziness is at an all time high.
DAMN...what happened to the days when all you had to be afraid of was your neighbor going through your trash?!
I didn't realize how much I love this blog. It reminds me of Gina...for those not in the know, she's a friend of mine who died of cancer awhile back. It was her suggestion that I create a blog...for some reason, even though we didn't talk much towards the end of her life, it still matters to me to keep this going.
Anyway, I figured out a workaround but I'm terrified of it ever happening again (who knew that 4 years of bitching would be sentimental to me), so I bought RandomThoughtsAndGripes.com ...and eventually I'll move it over.
Like that other website i have but won't list here for incriminating purposes :P
Stay tuned for the more legit version of my bitching...speaking of, yes I know I need to do something with TeamBitches.com ....my laziness is at an all time high.
DAMN...what happened to the days when all you had to be afraid of was your neighbor going through your trash?!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
When I grow up
I typically say that when I grow up, I want to be Blair Waldorf.
yeah. you heard me. I want to be a rich teen new york socialite with old money. Suck it.
But really, I just want to be Kate Winslet. People in hollywood eventually f*ck up and do something classless...this girl oozes so much class it leaves a diamond slime trail behind her.
yeah. you heard me. I want to be a rich teen new york socialite with old money. Suck it.
But really, I just want to be Kate Winslet. People in hollywood eventually f*ck up and do something classless...this girl oozes so much class it leaves a diamond slime trail behind her.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
My brain hurts, but it's laughing
There's not point to this post other than to say, this image makes me laugh:
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Of poppies and 2 minute silence
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
For non-Canadian folks: this is what Canadian kids recite in school on Rememberence Day.
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
For non-Canadian folks: this is what Canadian kids recite in school on Rememberence Day.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Campfires make me hot
So I recently ran into a charming young gentleman firefighter guy....and of course, I had to bombard him with random questions about...well, fire.
I wonder if firefighters actually say this ishh...
Now it's pretty safe to say that I'm obsessive compulsive about two things: locking doors and turning off things that can cause a fire. I seriously get beyond paranoid thinking about my stove not turning off (although I think it has a timer...but that's after it's been on for NINE HOURS), my house burning down, and my poor cats. Really, I just worry about my cats. I think i'm good with insurance and stuff (i've got pics that i keep in a safe deposit box).
Some random ishhhh that I learned:
- apparently they use wooden ladders. I don't know why this blows my mind. It's like, "oh we also find that pouring kerosene on our ladders is better than an aluminum or metal ladder". WOODEN LADDERS. My brain wants to explode just thinking about it.
- we had an earthquake a month or two ago here in SoCal which leads me to the big debate: doorways or the Triangle Theory. This whole Triangle thing just seems like uhh...kind of a big risk (just crouch NEXT to a big object...ummm...when they hunk of plywood whacks me in the head I'd feel like a douche explaining to the paramedics about how i got an email forward in my spam folder telling me not to duck)...but the doorway thing just bugs me becuase i'm thicker than a doorway, so how the eff is that supposed to protect me?! Well apparently the doorway wins...the dude who invented the triangle of life theory is what they call "Ricky Rescue"...I wonder why no fireguy hasn't just punched the inventor in the face.
- This one cracks me up...apparently when you're freaking out and hyperventilating, it's called Hispanic Panic...I did a search on it later, and wtf, it's apparently a common term! And also the username of a boatload of dudes on MySpace. It seems that umm...some ethnicities freak out more than others when there's an incident requiring firefighters or paramedics. And when you start hyperventilating to that extent, your extremities go numb. Like breathing crazy fast makes your toes and hands go numb. If your hands are numb, how are you supposed to breathe into a paperbag? And then I wonder...when i'm at the gym using the elliptical for an hour super fast, and my hands go numb and i'm barely breathing, is that the gym version of hispanic panic?!
And on the subject of fire...
My mom used to hide the matches in a mug in the way back of our cupboards. Which clearly defeated the purpose, since us kids knew where the hiding spot was. My brother would light a candle when he was stuck babysitting me and poor the crazy hot wax on my hand, telling me that I need to toughen up (he would do it too so uhh, i guess that's not sibling abuse!). I think it really was just us doing the ONE thing you're not supposed to do when your parents aren't home: start a fire. (Note: hot wax on your hands actually isn't hot at all, and my brother cried harder at Titanic than I did so who's the tougher one now bitch?!)
I wonder if firefighters actually say this ishh...
Now it's pretty safe to say that I'm obsessive compulsive about two things: locking doors and turning off things that can cause a fire. I seriously get beyond paranoid thinking about my stove not turning off (although I think it has a timer...but that's after it's been on for NINE HOURS), my house burning down, and my poor cats. Really, I just worry about my cats. I think i'm good with insurance and stuff (i've got pics that i keep in a safe deposit box).
Some random ishhhh that I learned:
- apparently they use wooden ladders. I don't know why this blows my mind. It's like, "oh we also find that pouring kerosene on our ladders is better than an aluminum or metal ladder". WOODEN LADDERS. My brain wants to explode just thinking about it.
- we had an earthquake a month or two ago here in SoCal which leads me to the big debate: doorways or the Triangle Theory. This whole Triangle thing just seems like uhh...kind of a big risk (just crouch NEXT to a big object...ummm...when they hunk of plywood whacks me in the head I'd feel like a douche explaining to the paramedics about how i got an email forward in my spam folder telling me not to duck)...but the doorway thing just bugs me becuase i'm thicker than a doorway, so how the eff is that supposed to protect me?! Well apparently the doorway wins...the dude who invented the triangle of life theory is what they call "Ricky Rescue"...I wonder why no fireguy hasn't just punched the inventor in the face.
- This one cracks me up...apparently when you're freaking out and hyperventilating, it's called Hispanic Panic...I did a search on it later, and wtf, it's apparently a common term! And also the username of a boatload of dudes on MySpace. It seems that umm...some ethnicities freak out more than others when there's an incident requiring firefighters or paramedics. And when you start hyperventilating to that extent, your extremities go numb. Like breathing crazy fast makes your toes and hands go numb. If your hands are numb, how are you supposed to breathe into a paperbag? And then I wonder...when i'm at the gym using the elliptical for an hour super fast, and my hands go numb and i'm barely breathing, is that the gym version of hispanic panic?!
And on the subject of fire...
My mom used to hide the matches in a mug in the way back of our cupboards. Which clearly defeated the purpose, since us kids knew where the hiding spot was. My brother would light a candle when he was stuck babysitting me and poor the crazy hot wax on my hand, telling me that I need to toughen up (he would do it too so uhh, i guess that's not sibling abuse!). I think it really was just us doing the ONE thing you're not supposed to do when your parents aren't home: start a fire. (Note: hot wax on your hands actually isn't hot at all, and my brother cried harder at Titanic than I did so who's the tougher one now bitch?!)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
My pearl of wisdom for today
As overheard by me today:
The key to a successful at-home brazillian is the willingness to sit spread-eagle on your kitchen floor.
The key to a successful at-home brazillian is the willingness to sit spread-eagle on your kitchen floor.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
An open letter to all women...
Watching the last episode of SATC...
Carrie and Big just met up again...
Charlotte just got the pic of her new baby...
Samantha just told Smith that he's meant more to her than any man she's ever known...
Damn if the part of Charlotte looking at the picture of her adopted child doesn't make you weepy, you're cold as ice. Wow. Damn this was such a great series.
Carrie and Big just met up again...
Charlotte just got the pic of her new baby...
Samantha just told Smith that he's meant more to her than any man she's ever known...
Damn if the part of Charlotte looking at the picture of her adopted child doesn't make you weepy, you're cold as ice. Wow. Damn this was such a great series.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I've decided
I've decided 2 things:
1. I need to find whoever does Pam Anderson's makeup. I love the girl, I always have (yeah Canadian Chicks!) but she looks ROUGH. But when she's dolled up, dang she still looks great. So her makeup artist needs to be shackled to my bathroom to do my face every frickin' day.
2. You know how there's groups of people that as a chick, you just feel like crap next to?
Growing up, being around thin white girls always made me feel insecure. I wanted to be white WHITE (i tan really easily, and i was much darker as a kid), i wanted to be "all american" err "all canadian" looking.
It grew into really really wanting to be tall, blond, blue eyed. Blond blond. Tried dying my hair blond. Turned orange. Not a good look.
Now, as i'm 31...it's the sexy asian chicks that make me want to crawl back into my hole. There's a chick i see almost every day...tall, not stick skinny but thin/curvy, gorgeous face, long hair, perfect smile...i feel like i'm the "before" picture in a plastic surgery ad next to her. And it's not just her...asian chicks age really well until they're like 70, great skin, argh...
Its incredible how the presence of a gorgeous chick can make me feel like I should hang out with my buddy Quasimoto in his bell tower.
1. I need to find whoever does Pam Anderson's makeup. I love the girl, I always have (yeah Canadian Chicks!) but she looks ROUGH. But when she's dolled up, dang she still looks great. So her makeup artist needs to be shackled to my bathroom to do my face every frickin' day.
2. You know how there's groups of people that as a chick, you just feel like crap next to?
Growing up, being around thin white girls always made me feel insecure. I wanted to be white WHITE (i tan really easily, and i was much darker as a kid), i wanted to be "all american" err "all canadian" looking.
It grew into really really wanting to be tall, blond, blue eyed. Blond blond. Tried dying my hair blond. Turned orange. Not a good look.
Now, as i'm 31...it's the sexy asian chicks that make me want to crawl back into my hole. There's a chick i see almost every day...tall, not stick skinny but thin/curvy, gorgeous face, long hair, perfect smile...i feel like i'm the "before" picture in a plastic surgery ad next to her. And it's not just her...asian chicks age really well until they're like 70, great skin, argh...
Its incredible how the presence of a gorgeous chick can make me feel like I should hang out with my buddy Quasimoto in his bell tower.
Monday, August 25, 2008
when I grow up
When I grow up, I want to be Leighton Meister
(The one on the right in the fuchsia dress)
Sigh!
(The one on the right in the fuchsia dress)
Sigh!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
From Christine
From Christine...so bored, might as well...
How late did you stay up last night and why?
I think 11ish? Why...because that's when I was tired? I don't know.
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an D?
Yes. My ex boyfriend Don.
How's your life lately?
It's a'ight. Not overly great, but not overly bad.
Do you think you're a good person?
No. But i don't pretend to be either.
Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Well if I'm single it's because I wasn't happy with the relationship, so of course in that case single was better. But i'm not single now, thus that means I'm happy with my relationship and I have no desire to change that!
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Totally don't remember. I hate talking on the phone. It's so archaic. “Oh look at me, I'm Amish, talking on the phone”. Text, IM, or email me.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night? with who ?
Kraig, and two cats.
Do you miss anyone?
I miss my friends in Northern California (yo peeps i'll be up there in a few weeks!), and I miss everyone in Canada.
What are you listening to?
Would rather not say because then it'll incriminate me.
Is there one place you'd like to visit?
ITALY
ITALY
ITALY
Do you like winter time?
It's not really any different than the summer here...but if i had to pick, Summer would trump Winter.
What are you excited about?
My bbq this weekend. On a Saturdayyyyy...we all know what happens when we have bbqs on saturdays...hopefully this time no guest will threaten me or shove me or hitch hike home because we took their keys away!
Plans for today?
Going to the gym with Carrie tonight.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dinner with my husband, than preparing for the bbq.
Do you want to dance?
Ummm, no. I miss clubbing, but I have all the rhythm of a cow in heat. (Christine, remember that good ol' line? Whatever happened to Chris G anyway?)
Something interesting happen lately?
Yes, but it's BAD interesting, it involves someone that my husband and I care about, and I'm definitely not posting it here.
Do you wish you were somewhere else now?
YES very much so. Even being in my car would be better.
Ever kissed a blond haired, blue eyed person?
Blond-ish yes. Does dark blond count? I mean, not anyone who was like, california-blond.
What did you do last night?
Did we not already discuss last night? I came home, texted some peeps, watched Bold and The Beautiful, went to bed.
What is your current annoyance?
I can't keep up in my life with the things that need to get done.
Where is your mom right now?
In Orleans.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
If i tell you, that would incriminate me.
When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
I read this thing about a dude who was a paraplegic. Maybe my mother did this to me because she used to tell me i should feel grateful for what i've got, but damn if I didn't feel just awful...like, as much as I hate my thighs or my boobs (HA or lack of them), I have everything in working order, and my life is much easier as a result. So then I feel like a complete asshole.
Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
YES
How did your day start off?
Bad. I had to get up super early so I could get to the grocery store...getting up early for anything unless it's “get up early so i could switch to a comfier bed and go back to sleep” is never good.
Does anyone hate you?
Yes, absolutely.
Are you happy with life?
It has it's moments.
Can you handle the truth?
Better than Tom Cruise, that's for damn sure.
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Who's not retarded enough to be able to read See Spot Run in one day?
How's the weather today?
Nice and warm.
Who do you hate?
There are two people who fit the bill. Hate IS a very strong word, and there's extreme dislike vs. hate. To me, “hate” means I would have zero problems if they died tomorrow. And there's two people that fit the bill. See the above question about whether I think I'm a good person.
Did you speak to your mother today?
Nope.
Who are you talking to right now ?
No one. I'm filling this frickin' thing out.
How many months until your birthday?
12
What is on your desk right now?
Papers, a Dwight bobblehead, hand sanitizer, my purse, a sweater, my Chik Fil A “cereal” box promo, a billion empty cans of diet pepsi and diet coke.
How often do you give high fives?
Pretty often actually. I'm a loser like that.
Can you fill this out without lying?
Well that obviously is a catch-22 of a question isn't it.
Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Yes (note to my husband: no, not THAT Matt)
How often do you eat fast food?
Only in dire straits.
Can you play guitar hero?
I played Rock Band, and I sucked so bad at it. But it's fun.
Last time you walked further than a block?
I dunno...hmmm crap I really don't remember. I guess last time I was at the gym with Carrie we walked on the treadmills for awhile, that was probably more than a block's worth.
Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Lauren from book club is pretty close.
What are you plans for the night?
Didn't this already get asked? Going to the gym with Carrie. Then maybe do work.
Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Depends what you did when you were pre-Ex. Obviously Bryan and I can...but we were in elementary school and it was more than PG-13 clean. But if you boned the person, forget it. Ladder theory people, ladder theory. Guys will always want to bone you, especially if you're already low on the ladder in bonability.
When was the last time you cried really hard?
2 weeks ago.
Where is your biological father right now?
As opposed to my adopted father?! He's probably at home with my mom. Or the mosque.
When is your birthday?
Why don't you ask for my SSN too.
Was yesterday better than today?
YES very.
Do you have any nicknames?
Bean, Beanie, Beanbag....Kraig calls me Sweetie.
Are you mad about anything?
YES. I'm ridden with angst. WTF hence the purpose of this blog.
Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
a few weeks ago
Have you made any new friends recently?
Yep
Have you kissed anyone with a name starting with T?
Yep (geezus why don't we go through the entire alphabet or male baby name book while we're at it to see how much of a whore i am!)
Is anything bothering you right now?
My knee is acting up. Which makes me feel REALLY old. I knew that knee situation would catch up to me in my old age, i just hoped it would be closert to 50, not 31.
Are you a bad influence?
I agree with you Christine...no, but I can easily be influenced into bad behavior.
Night out or night in
Night in all the way. Nothing beats wearing something comfy, bowl of popcorn, movie.
Do you like someone right now?
Sure.
How do you feel about your life right now?
Stop asking me the same crap.
Explain why you last threw up?
Food made me sick.
What do you usually order at McDonald’s?
I don't eat at McD's. Especially not in the US. The only things I've consumed at a McD's in the US was 1 ice cream cone, and then sips from Kraig's diet coke. Let me tell you, I worked at McD's. They pump fat in the AIR. Even their WATER will make you gain weight. It's a bad scene, avoid it at all costs.
What kind of shoes did you wear today?
Gasp non-3” heels. These are 2.5” ones, brown kitten heels with a peep toe and a teenie dark brown bow.
Do you like scary movies?
YES very much so. I think The Ring made more of a profound impact on my life than my marriage, my immigration, and my childhood combined.
Roller coasters?
Big time. Unfortunately Kraig doesn't like them, so...i haven't been on a good scary one in years. Actually, since I moved to the US.
Who was the last person to comment on you?
Ummm see the below post about the dude and my ass.
What is today?
Thursday
What brand of batteries does your family use?
Energizer or Duracell
Is science your best academic subject in school?
YES, yes it was, along with math. I'd tattoo the period table of the elements if I could.
Ever drank nail polish remover?
Why yes, yes i have.
AIM, MSN or MySpace IM?
Are you high? AIM is so 1999 (“you've got mail”...wtf)...MSN is okay, but I'm anti-anything that's already installed on my computer when I'm installing Windows, and MySpace is so bloody irritating. So...it's Yahoo or FB IM all the way.
Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I'd rather sleep with Kraig when he's not snoring. And my cats.
Do you consider yourself creative?
Not at all.
Do you know how to play poker?
YES and I love it.
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Sure, who hasn't?
Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Obviously.
Do you ever wear a seat belt?
I can't believe I'm still answering this retarded survey.
Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes. 18th birthday. Can thank Kevin for that one, that motherf*cker.
What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
This survey's taken me a f*cking hour, and I type fast.
Do you have any famous relatives?
Well, my dad is famous amongst the muslim community...otherwise, no. Although i was once told we're related to Genghis Khan, which would REALLY explain the rage I've got going on.
Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Nope. Just one grandmother left.
Has the person who hurt you the most recently apologized?
Yes.
Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
Yes.
Are you a morning person or a night?
Night
Are you there for your friends?
Not as much as I should be.
Are you a forgiving person?
People have told me I'm too quick to forgive...it bites me in the ass later.
Do you smoke on the regular?
I must be to continue this survey.
Are you mad at anyone?
Yes.
Who was the last person you ate with?
Coworkers at a baby shower.
Ever punched somebody or been punched?
Have we not had this discussion?: Anyway, Yes and yes.
Do you have a job?
Yes, thankfully in this economy!
Are you easily confused?
Depends on who's trying to confuse me.
Do you think you would make a good parent?
No, but that wouldn't stop me.
You're able to go back into your life and change one thing, what is it?
We all know my gripe...i would have studied biotech/genetic engineering intead of computer science. BIGGEST regret. And I would have said “eff it” to my parents and gone to McMaster. Remember that question about being easily influenced?!
Are you perfect?
I'm anti-perfect, I'm so imperfect.
What do you think of when you think of being alone?
My brain is always racing a mile a minute. I have some serious inner-dialogue going on, alone or not.
Do you hide who you really are to keep your family happy?
LOL I know my childhood friends can agree with this: YES
How late did you stay up last night and why?
I think 11ish? Why...because that's when I was tired? I don't know.
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an D?
Yes. My ex boyfriend Don.
How's your life lately?
It's a'ight. Not overly great, but not overly bad.
Do you think you're a good person?
No. But i don't pretend to be either.
Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Well if I'm single it's because I wasn't happy with the relationship, so of course in that case single was better. But i'm not single now, thus that means I'm happy with my relationship and I have no desire to change that!
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Totally don't remember. I hate talking on the phone. It's so archaic. “Oh look at me, I'm Amish, talking on the phone”. Text, IM, or email me.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night? with who ?
Kraig, and two cats.
Do you miss anyone?
I miss my friends in Northern California (yo peeps i'll be up there in a few weeks!), and I miss everyone in Canada.
What are you listening to?
Would rather not say because then it'll incriminate me.
Is there one place you'd like to visit?
ITALY
ITALY
ITALY
Do you like winter time?
It's not really any different than the summer here...but if i had to pick, Summer would trump Winter.
What are you excited about?
My bbq this weekend. On a Saturdayyyyy...we all know what happens when we have bbqs on saturdays...hopefully this time no guest will threaten me or shove me or hitch hike home because we took their keys away!
Plans for today?
Going to the gym with Carrie tonight.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dinner with my husband, than preparing for the bbq.
Do you want to dance?
Ummm, no. I miss clubbing, but I have all the rhythm of a cow in heat. (Christine, remember that good ol' line? Whatever happened to Chris G anyway?)
Something interesting happen lately?
Yes, but it's BAD interesting, it involves someone that my husband and I care about, and I'm definitely not posting it here.
Do you wish you were somewhere else now?
YES very much so. Even being in my car would be better.
Ever kissed a blond haired, blue eyed person?
Blond-ish yes. Does dark blond count? I mean, not anyone who was like, california-blond.
What did you do last night?
Did we not already discuss last night? I came home, texted some peeps, watched Bold and The Beautiful, went to bed.
What is your current annoyance?
I can't keep up in my life with the things that need to get done.
Where is your mom right now?
In Orleans.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
If i tell you, that would incriminate me.
When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
I read this thing about a dude who was a paraplegic. Maybe my mother did this to me because she used to tell me i should feel grateful for what i've got, but damn if I didn't feel just awful...like, as much as I hate my thighs or my boobs (HA or lack of them), I have everything in working order, and my life is much easier as a result. So then I feel like a complete asshole.
Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
YES
How did your day start off?
Bad. I had to get up super early so I could get to the grocery store...getting up early for anything unless it's “get up early so i could switch to a comfier bed and go back to sleep” is never good.
Does anyone hate you?
Yes, absolutely.
Are you happy with life?
It has it's moments.
Can you handle the truth?
Better than Tom Cruise, that's for damn sure.
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Who's not retarded enough to be able to read See Spot Run in one day?
How's the weather today?
Nice and warm.
Who do you hate?
There are two people who fit the bill. Hate IS a very strong word, and there's extreme dislike vs. hate. To me, “hate” means I would have zero problems if they died tomorrow. And there's two people that fit the bill. See the above question about whether I think I'm a good person.
Did you speak to your mother today?
Nope.
Who are you talking to right now ?
No one. I'm filling this frickin' thing out.
How many months until your birthday?
12
What is on your desk right now?
Papers, a Dwight bobblehead, hand sanitizer, my purse, a sweater, my Chik Fil A “cereal” box promo, a billion empty cans of diet pepsi and diet coke.
How often do you give high fives?
Pretty often actually. I'm a loser like that.
Can you fill this out without lying?
Well that obviously is a catch-22 of a question isn't it.
Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Yes (note to my husband: no, not THAT Matt)
How often do you eat fast food?
Only in dire straits.
Can you play guitar hero?
I played Rock Band, and I sucked so bad at it. But it's fun.
Last time you walked further than a block?
I dunno...hmmm crap I really don't remember. I guess last time I was at the gym with Carrie we walked on the treadmills for awhile, that was probably more than a block's worth.
Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Lauren from book club is pretty close.
What are you plans for the night?
Didn't this already get asked? Going to the gym with Carrie. Then maybe do work.
Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Depends what you did when you were pre-Ex. Obviously Bryan and I can...but we were in elementary school and it was more than PG-13 clean. But if you boned the person, forget it. Ladder theory people, ladder theory. Guys will always want to bone you, especially if you're already low on the ladder in bonability.
When was the last time you cried really hard?
2 weeks ago.
Where is your biological father right now?
As opposed to my adopted father?! He's probably at home with my mom. Or the mosque.
When is your birthday?
Why don't you ask for my SSN too.
Was yesterday better than today?
YES very.
Do you have any nicknames?
Bean, Beanie, Beanbag....Kraig calls me Sweetie.
Are you mad about anything?
YES. I'm ridden with angst. WTF hence the purpose of this blog.
Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
a few weeks ago
Have you made any new friends recently?
Yep
Have you kissed anyone with a name starting with T?
Yep (geezus why don't we go through the entire alphabet or male baby name book while we're at it to see how much of a whore i am!)
Is anything bothering you right now?
My knee is acting up. Which makes me feel REALLY old. I knew that knee situation would catch up to me in my old age, i just hoped it would be closert to 50, not 31.
Are you a bad influence?
I agree with you Christine...no, but I can easily be influenced into bad behavior.
Night out or night in
Night in all the way. Nothing beats wearing something comfy, bowl of popcorn, movie.
Do you like someone right now?
Sure.
How do you feel about your life right now?
Stop asking me the same crap.
Explain why you last threw up?
Food made me sick.
What do you usually order at McDonald’s?
I don't eat at McD's. Especially not in the US. The only things I've consumed at a McD's in the US was 1 ice cream cone, and then sips from Kraig's diet coke. Let me tell you, I worked at McD's. They pump fat in the AIR. Even their WATER will make you gain weight. It's a bad scene, avoid it at all costs.
What kind of shoes did you wear today?
Gasp non-3” heels. These are 2.5” ones, brown kitten heels with a peep toe and a teenie dark brown bow.
Do you like scary movies?
YES very much so. I think The Ring made more of a profound impact on my life than my marriage, my immigration, and my childhood combined.
Roller coasters?
Big time. Unfortunately Kraig doesn't like them, so...i haven't been on a good scary one in years. Actually, since I moved to the US.
Who was the last person to comment on you?
Ummm see the below post about the dude and my ass.
What is today?
Thursday
What brand of batteries does your family use?
Energizer or Duracell
Is science your best academic subject in school?
YES, yes it was, along with math. I'd tattoo the period table of the elements if I could.
Ever drank nail polish remover?
Why yes, yes i have.
AIM, MSN or MySpace IM?
Are you high? AIM is so 1999 (“you've got mail”...wtf)...MSN is okay, but I'm anti-anything that's already installed on my computer when I'm installing Windows, and MySpace is so bloody irritating. So...it's Yahoo or FB IM all the way.
Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I'd rather sleep with Kraig when he's not snoring. And my cats.
Do you consider yourself creative?
Not at all.
Do you know how to play poker?
YES and I love it.
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Sure, who hasn't?
Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Obviously.
Do you ever wear a seat belt?
I can't believe I'm still answering this retarded survey.
Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes. 18th birthday. Can thank Kevin for that one, that motherf*cker.
What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
This survey's taken me a f*cking hour, and I type fast.
Do you have any famous relatives?
Well, my dad is famous amongst the muslim community...otherwise, no. Although i was once told we're related to Genghis Khan, which would REALLY explain the rage I've got going on.
Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Nope. Just one grandmother left.
Has the person who hurt you the most recently apologized?
Yes.
Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
Yes.
Are you a morning person or a night?
Night
Are you there for your friends?
Not as much as I should be.
Are you a forgiving person?
People have told me I'm too quick to forgive...it bites me in the ass later.
Do you smoke on the regular?
I must be to continue this survey.
Are you mad at anyone?
Yes.
Who was the last person you ate with?
Coworkers at a baby shower.
Ever punched somebody or been punched?
Have we not had this discussion?: Anyway, Yes and yes.
Do you have a job?
Yes, thankfully in this economy!
Are you easily confused?
Depends on who's trying to confuse me.
Do you think you would make a good parent?
No, but that wouldn't stop me.
You're able to go back into your life and change one thing, what is it?
We all know my gripe...i would have studied biotech/genetic engineering intead of computer science. BIGGEST regret. And I would have said “eff it” to my parents and gone to McMaster. Remember that question about being easily influenced?!
Are you perfect?
I'm anti-perfect, I'm so imperfect.
What do you think of when you think of being alone?
My brain is always racing a mile a minute. I have some serious inner-dialogue going on, alone or not.
Do you hide who you really are to keep your family happy?
LOL I know my childhood friends can agree with this: YES
The worst reply to someone sexually harassing you
This morning before work I had to go to the grocery store to pick up some Martinelli's for a baby shower.
Some random dude sort of grabbed...well more like touched my ass and said something along the lines of "this is great" (or this is nice, i can't remember exactly)...
The last time a random dude touched my ass was when i was in University, clubbing at Reactor. Thus, that was 10 years ago.
The average woman might have turned around and snapped at the f*cker. Or maybe she would have slapped him (although he sort of wandered off at that point). Maybe she would have had a hissy fit. Maybe she just would have rushed off in a huff.
What did I do? I said "Oh no, it's the pants. They're from the Gap!"
I got in my car thinking that someone sexually harassing you, even on a tiny level, is not a good time to try and argue that it's not the ass, but the well-tailored pants from The Gap.
I'm not gonna lie, it really is the pants though. My ass looks fantastic in them. If there was an academy award for pants, these would win.
Some random dude sort of grabbed...well more like touched my ass and said something along the lines of "this is great" (or this is nice, i can't remember exactly)...
The last time a random dude touched my ass was when i was in University, clubbing at Reactor. Thus, that was 10 years ago.
The average woman might have turned around and snapped at the f*cker. Or maybe she would have slapped him (although he sort of wandered off at that point). Maybe she would have had a hissy fit. Maybe she just would have rushed off in a huff.
What did I do? I said "Oh no, it's the pants. They're from the Gap!"
I got in my car thinking that someone sexually harassing you, even on a tiny level, is not a good time to try and argue that it's not the ass, but the well-tailored pants from The Gap.
I'm not gonna lie, it really is the pants though. My ass looks fantastic in them. If there was an academy award for pants, these would win.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Funny...from Erin....
Ahhhhh this made me laugh so hard, it was worth posting here:
it reminds me of the ghost tour I signed up my grade 11 class to take (it was a walking tour in montreal the old part) any way we showed up and there was no tour guide...i called to complain and get our money back and he said you have to look for the ghosts yourself....no refund! ASS!
it reminds me of the ghost tour I signed up my grade 11 class to take (it was a walking tour in montreal the old part) any way we showed up and there was no tour guide...i called to complain and get our money back and he said you have to look for the ghosts yourself....no refund! ASS!
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