Movie Review: Leap Year

Yeah yeah. It seems like I've seen a lot of movies lately. I might even go see Valentine's Day in the theater. Blow my mind!

Now I really wanted to like Leap Year. I really did. But let's cut to the chase: Amy Adams is an uptight, stick-up-her-ass-sanitizes-bar-counters-before-drinking-there home stager who thinks it's romantic to run to Ireland to follow some folklore about proposing to her boyfriend.

She's not likeable whatsoever. First off, home stager? In Boston? I don't know about the real estate market there, but home staging is not going to bring your home up $150k. If it can, I'm dragging her ass to my house and make her work her magic. She goes all the way to another country and seems to only bring fancy clothes and high heeled shoes. If you're flying with LV luggage, than you know that you need a pair of slippers or running shoes when traveling. ANd no, it's not cute to bore the person next to you about how you're going to propose to your boyfriend, on most airlines if you're yapping on overnight flights they tell your ass to STFU.

I suppose we're supposed to think she's adorably quirky. Like how she's snotty because she expects to find a cab to take her to Dublin. And naturally the locals are bumbling idiots who won't help her. Or how about how she manages to trash an entire teenie hotel room because she wants to plug in her blackberry.

Probably the tip off is when she's reading a recipe and has huge issues over the size of the carrots, whether they're "medium" or not.

I wish I could push on the side of the irish dude played by Matthew Goode but nope...he was just as rude and unlikeable. And he looked like he needed to shave.

So the redeeming parts of this movie:
1. Her wardrobe. Girl had some NICE ASS SHOES in this movie. Her wardrobe is to die for.
2. The wedding scene.
3. The scenery. Ireland is gorgeous.
4. Her boyfriend/soon-to-be-fiance. Maybe we're supposed to t hink he's the stereotypical uptight preppy boy wearing an ascot. But he was always nice to her (unlike Matthew Goode), always saying he loved her, and while they mock his job as a cardiologist...eff that. He's a cardiologist! Rock on sistah.

She makes a turning point at the end when she realizes that he's not the one for her, because when the fire alarm went off he went and grabbed the same items that we would all grab and who knows what she wanted him to grab...her maybe? Who knows. If there's a fire, i'm grabbing my cats, the family jewelry not in the safe deposit box, my purse (i mean, come on...you lose your house you're gonna need your cell and your wallet/ID/car keys)...and if there's another second, my flatscreen. Hey, I back up my photos with Carbonite and everything else is in the safe deposit box. And if Kraig's legs aren't working, there's no way i can drag him AND the cats.

Overall though it's cute. A rental I guess. I had pretty high hopes for it because Amy Adams is a fantastic actress (go see Junebug) but really I just wanted to smack her for most of the movie. There. I said it.

Movie Review: Daybreakers

Now before I give my movie reviews I typically admit to the biases I have going in. I display truthiness!

I was biased because I love the concept of "what if"s. What if the world got overrun by vampires? We know what happens when the world is overrun by zombies...somehow dumb, slow-moving morons can take over the world and leave a few mallgoers behind, but intelligent vampires get wiped after a few local kids and Buffy figure them out.

Let's be real. If vampires exist, we're Effed up the A. They reproduce like mad. There's no killing of any head vampire. I'll be the first to get mauled on my way out of Albertsons. Motherf*ckers would do it right when i've blown $200 on groceries that i won't be able to eat.

So the concept of what happens after we all become vampires? Then what?

Well...that's what this movie addresses. As it turns out, life is pretty good when we're all vampires. We look GREAT. You can buy teeth whitening stuff. As it turns out, suicide (by going out in the sun and letting your skin burn) is the #1 reason for forest fires in the year 2019.

So you adapt. Like Chevy comes out with cars that have daytime driving. It'll even provide a "Ewe Vee Warn-ing.....Ewe Vee Warn-ing" warning if you open your car door in daylight. You buy your blood like you buy coffee, except the government has to limit how much blood you can get 'cause human blood is hard to come by. You still go to work...just at night.

And if you start to get nutty by the whole "holy SH*T...i'm a vampire?!", then you either try eating other vampires or you start sucking your own blood. Which mutates you and turns you into a Creepy Vampire, which Normal Vampires are scared of.

So let's go through the hierarchy of fear:

Humans << style="font-style: italic;">what has he done since Gattica and divorcing Uma Thurman? Not getting orthodontic work apparently) end up with some humans who are trying to reproduce a cure that Willem Dafoe accidentally discovered. Of course, chilling with humans and not giving them up to the government is illegal. Hilarity ensues.

I wouldn't say this movie was amazing or anything, but it was pretty entertaining. And I liked how they covered all areas...like what DOES happen when a vampire attempts to just munch on another vampire? And yeah, you know teeth bleaching companies are going to target blood-stained teeth. And everyone smokes...why not? You're not gonna die anyway.

Willem Dafoe is fantastic with his little one-liners, the best of all being:
Being human in a world full of vampires is about as safe as barebacking a five dollar whore!”

I give it two thumbs up for creativity and Willem Dafoe. Netflix queue fo' sho.


Think you're disgruntled at work? Try being this guy.

Movie Review: Jennifer's Body

I'm too lazy to fix the sizing of the embedded video. Suck it. Facebook readers, the original post with images and vids can be found here:http://randomthoughtsandgripes.blogspot.com/2009/09/movie-review-jennifers-body.html )
I figured it would be good to get off my lazy non-blogging ass to write a movie review...

Let's backtrack a little. A few years ago I first saw a pic of Megan Fox and immediately knew she would de-throne Angelina for the sexiest chick alive (don't try to argue with me on anyone else. Other women may be more beautiful, but we're talking "oozing sex appeal" here. Like, "my eyebrows are arched so perfectly it's almost like a cartoon but it makes me a vixen" sex appeal.) So I relished the opportunity for my self esteem to plummet another trillion notches.

I anticipated this to be a badly-made horror movie. Especially since the previews seemed to have shown the scariest (i use that term loosely) parts. Sarah, Maria and I went crazy late on Tuesday night, the theater was dead, so ooooohhh spooky right?

Within the first 20 mins of the movie I actually burst out laughing so loud that if other people were in the theater, I would have had a beatdown.

This is a comedy folks, with hints of gore.

Jennifer's Body is about two best friends, one's uber hot (Jennifer) and one's an uber nerd (nicknamed Needy) but has the cutesy boyfriend who's sexuality extends to 4 minutes of bad pumping and aptly named "Chip". Hot chick Jennifer get possessed by a demon, eats up boys. Needy wants to stop her. Chaos ensues.

You can guess how this ends of course, with Needy being the prototype for the latest female protagonist: nerd girl who roughs up the bad guy to save her man. I kinda dig this trend, it's a lot easier to maintain than the Linda Hamilton T2-type heroine.

That really is the movie in a nutshell.

The best part of the movie however was the quick wit; Diablo Cody (Juno)'s 'ish is effing hilarious. This may very well be the best dialog in history:
Needy: Those guys are creeps. I told them you were a virgin.
Jennifer: Virgin...I'm not even a back-door virgin, thanks to (points to dude at other end of the bar). I had to sit on a bag of frozen peas for a week.

A few other great ones:
Chip (when his mother tries to get him to carry pepper spray): I can take care of myself. I've been using the Bowflex.
*******************
Jennifer (upon the sight of Needy's jacked up hands from cleaning monster vomit): You need a mani bad. You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.

I would buy the DVD purely for the closed captioning to get all the wonderfully inappropriate one-liners.

The movie wouldn't be complete without some chick-on-chick action, which if you were a 12 year old boy you would have nutted right then and there. I'll save you the $10 for a movie ticket and show you the entire sequence here. Not gonna lie, they did a pretty good job, even though both actresses said it was purely gratuitous.



For Facebook readers, link to movie scene is here: http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid41190866001?bctid=41728524001
Oh alright...for you boys that need some extra oomph to create that baby batter, here's an outtake from a shot where we're supposed to believe she's naked:


If you want to read a half-decent movie review that actually tells you about the movie and not so much about ways for 12 year old boys to whack off, see Sarah's website: http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-reviews/jennifers-body-2009/

Movie Review: BEAM ME UP SCOTTY

No spoilers here, unless you're hardcore and don't even watch previews.

Everyone's got a season of Star Trek they like (if you don't...well...what can I say. You probably have

 a life.), mine's always been the old skool cheesy initial series. Captain Kirk being paunchy yet still a ladies/mutants/aliens' man has always been endearing. 

Plus, The Trouble with Tribbles ( full episode here ) was absolutely brilliant.

That being said, I'm not a fan of the movies because it's just plain depressing. Big screen old guys playing characters from their former days of glory doesn't impress me.

Finding out JJ Abrams was doing a prequel of sorts gave me everything I wanted: old skool crew combined with youth. It's a win-win.

The movie's got exactly what you'd expect in terms of action and drama. The usual schpiel of bad guy coming after the crew, bad guy getting the upper hand, then when it seems all hope is lost Kirk saves the day with some bold gutsy move. Did that spoil it? It's not like you didn't know they'd live, since it's a prequel.

I gotta admit, the script is brilliant. I don't care how much CG you toss in a movie, if the script is balls then to me the whole movie just seems like moviemakers bank on general audience stupidity.  The combo of drama vs. comedic timing is effing fantastic. Which is no easy feat for for actors who have to play other actors playing well-known characters. 

The scene stealer is Karl Urban as Bones McCoy.  Perfect swagger, perfect crankiness, perfect deadpan delivery  ("My ex-wife got the planet in the divorce. I have nothing left except my bones."). In fact, he should have his own movie, Bones ER. Then Dr. G

reen and Dr. Carter can show up as sidekicks. Also gotta give props to Simon Pegg as Scotty, except...well...he's Simon Pegg.  Of course he's going to be amazing. In fact...Simon Pegg should make a cameo on Bones ER as a headstrong patient who insists on taking matters in his own hands despite the Doc Bones' orders. Hilarity ensues.

There's a few things that irked me. Like, somewhere between his youth to the future, Spock gets braces. Starfleet must have fantastic healthcare insurance.

And initially I was all "ohhhhhh Chris Pine...dark hair...blue eyes...ohhh"...well by the end of the movie, not so hot. He's got horrific skin (chemical peel please!) and he's got this huge mole near his right ear which I spent most of the movie thinking it was just a remnant from all the fights he gets in. I'm just sayin'....Spock eventually gets braces, I sure hope Cap'n Kirk gets some outpatient skin work done.

I was hoping they'd glow like this...but I got scammed.

So overall...I actually give the movie an A for nostalgia and great writing...but a D for frame-by-frame photoshopping of Spock and Kirk.

For FB readers, original post here (not that it matters, everyone comments in FB anyway):

http://randomthoughtsandgripes.blogspot.com/2009/05/movie-review-beam-me-up-scotty.html

Movie Review: Wolverine

Yeah, there might be spoilers. Not anything that you can't guess. Like...obviously he doesn't kill Sabretooth since he's in the other movies (at least, from what i remember right?) and this is a prequel.

Let me backtrack and give you the Sabina X-Men History:

I was a teenager when I first heard of X-Men, the kids I used to babysit LOVED the cartoon. And then *I* loved the cartoon. It was the shiz. Note to self: get the DVDs.

Later in University I bought my boyfriend this huge collection of X-Men comics,issues 1-100, in sequence. They were reprints...at the time cost me around $100-$150, which is alotta coin when you're a student blowing $200 each weekend on liquor. Well not all on liquor...I'm pretty sure that after $30 worth of alcohol bartenders would just stiff me my change since it's not like i was going to count it drunk anyway.

Well f*cker boyfriend gave me a snotty reply when I gave him the comics that he had most of the ORIGINALS already. I was like "fine, suck it" and took them back. Read them myself. LOVED them of course.

Later I date/get engaged/marry Kraig, who's a massive comic book affectionado. In fact, if there's a Cigar Affectionado magazine, I wonder if there's a magazine for comic book readers...sorta like Soap Opera Digest. Superman's contract is renewed. All the drama on this week's Avengers! Find out who Lyja makes out with this week!. Enter the world of Comic Con and endless nagging to "...take those frickin' books off the coffee table and put them upstairs because they're just clutter and it's pissing me off".

So...while I'm not an ultra nerd, I can hold my own when it comes to the world of comic books.

Loved the first X-Men movie, minus stupid Halle Barry as Storm. WTF. Oh and Famke Janssen...I already can't stand Jean Grey's character ("oh whoa is me, my mutant powers give me a headache". Professor X needs to toss her some Advils and boot her ass out the door.). WTF is this crap:


The second one I loathed. WTF is that whole Asian invasion nonsense. Getting Kelly Hu to play Deathstrike...that's post-Crouching Tiger, when every movie had to star a hot Asian chick who could kick ass. See also: Michelle Yeoh in Tomorrow Never Dies. And the Charlie's Angels franchise. I really hate when Hollywood uses people as a trend. (See also: funny-lovable-overweight-sassy-teen-boy. I'm looking at you Jonah Hill).
Thus I skipped the 3rd Xmen, i was tired of the whole franchise, tired of seeing the dolls with the new black outfits, just tired of it all.
So what made me come out of hiding for X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Pfft, like you even need to ask:

Yeahhhh...Ryan Reynolds can get me out for a public caning. Those would be tears of joy pouring down my face.
(this is where I apologize to my husband for having to be...well...married to me.)
Now, onto the movie.
There's some chronological issues I have at the beginning, but okay the last thing we'd expect from filmmakers is for their movie to make sense. It seems like it's supposed to take place in the late 70s, which is interesting because no one had a hippie hairdo, long sideburns, or handlebar mustache. No monochromatic or flowered shirts. Apparently in Canada in the 70s, it looks just like 2009. My people are very progressive.

Hugh Jackman is actually pretty brilliant in it, but what do you expect from a guy who's entire career is based on his lucky shot as getting to play Wolverine? Dude needs this franchise to pay for those raw eggs he has to consume to get that body. He had to eat 5000 cals a day as part of the beefing-up plan (or so I hear from TMZ, and Harvey Levin would never steer me wrong).

The story is the usual spiel: boy meets girl, girl gets killed, boy turns renegade and turns his back on society by agreeing to get adamantium shellacked to his bones in order to get revenge, boy realizes he got boned up the ass by agreeing to the aforementioned surgery, boy now really really wants to get revenge. Violence mixed with comedic moments ensue.

If you're looking for entertainment, this movie gets an A+. If you're looking for Ryan Reynolds, this movie gets a C. Deadpool starts off as Van Wilder, ends up like Frankenstein. Sigh.

If you're a Taylor Kitsch fan, yeah you're screwed up the pooch too. Gambit's a minor character in this movie. And i really take exception to his appearance. THIS is how Gambit should look:

Short spiky hair with a strong jaw. WTF is this crap:

That's not Gambit. That's frickin' A Clockwork Orange.

Does this review have a point? Let's summarize:
Entertaining: yes
Ryan Reynolds: barely
Taylor Kitsch: barely
Hugh Jackman: fantastic
Storyline: nothing you didn't already know.
Oh if you do go see it, sit through the entire credits...there's another few mins, but what they show on the east coast is different than what they showed here. Now you know.

Media Mayhem

Anyone who watches Lost knows why this is absolutely brilliant:


Although I'm 2 weeks behind...tonight after kickball I'm desperate to catch up. Especially knowing that Hurley is working on the Empire Strikes Back script (although how he thinks he's going to contact George Lucas from a f*cked up island is beyond me).

I'm also behind by 1 episode on Gossip Girl, but I'd like to say the following about the next episode:
Dear Nate,
I adore you. Brown hair. Blue eyes. Boyish good looks. Money. Everything a 31 year old homeowner with plummeting equity could want. But just PRETEND you actually really, REALLY want Blair...i want to see passion...i want to see tears...i want to see Charlton Heston-esque fist waving in the air...But in the end, my boy Chuck will win. Why? Because...c'mon Nate, you know why...he's Chuck Bass.


Speaking of media that is inappropriate for my age group, I'm dying to see this movie almost as much as my desire for Star Trek and Wolverine:

It's silly, since they show the entire plot in the YouTube vid, but anyone who doesn't have a horseshoe** up their ass knows that life post-grad is pretty brutal.
(** I know two people with said horseshoe, one of them being an ex-boyfriend who just walked up to ONE booth at the Ottawa U job fair thing, got the job on the spot, and worked his way to financial greatness from there. That f*cker.)

I'd like to reflect back and think that I'm so much further along in life than when I graduated, but I still feel like I'm walking around with the same deer-in-headlights look that Alexis Bledel captures so well. I feel like at all times my expression is nothing more than "dear God please help me through this next minute, I don't know wtf I'm doing".

In my mind, you are truly an adult when you no longer feel like your life is a series of final exams that you haven't studied for.

And finally...thanks to my friend Jessica I got to pretend I'm someone important by getting to wear a pass around my neck to get into the Newport Beach Film Festival. Or at least, one film anyway. Finding Bliss. Starring the girl that no one can stand or finds attractive, Leelee Sobieowski (dayam! I spelled it correct on my own!), Jamie Kennedy, and Denise Richards in yet another role proving she can't act her way out of a paper bag.


The absolute best line of the movie is shown at the 1:39 mark. It was pretty entertaining for a crappy movie, and I actually liked Miss Sobieowski in it. I should give her props...she played a great nerdy girl in one of the few chick flicks I actually like, Never Been Kissed. And I didn't know that ATM meant "ass to mouth", so now I've been schooled.

My favorite love story for modern times

This is quite possibly the best love story ever:

Boy Photoshops Girl: A Flickr Love Story

In a nutshell: a chick in England and a dude from the states meet on Flickr when they notice their pics are similar...then they start a collaboration project where she photographs herself, emails it to him, and he tweeks it to make it look like they're in the pic together. Like crazy stuff where he's holding her, etc.

And then they finally met. True love yo!

They actually have their own company even though they don't live in the same country (she has to finish up school), Aaraon and Rosie Fotography ARF. This would make me question the tax ramifications, but i guess in a global economy you figure it out. And that's not the point, but leave it to me to read a love story and think "how does that work for taxes and claiming your income?"

I guess there's alot of cynics out there, but here's why I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant love stories I've ever head of:

1. It was a fluke they ever met.
Do you know how many people are on Flickr? What are the odds of two people connecting on that level? I could write say 100 guys on Flickr, and I guarantee NONE of them would ever be my type, be interested in what i'm interested in, or want to do any project with me (where I wouldn't end up being murdered, robbed, or pimped out).

2. They live an ocean apart
Nothing speaks love like distance. Okay well maybe not, but if you can still grow some sort of bond while having little or no physical contact, that speaks incredible volumes. Now realistically, I'm sure they were off dating other people and what not...but clearly something was growing between them. She probably got all giggly when posing for pictures, he got all giddy in anticipation of her reaction once he posted the final result, hoping for her approval.

3. They're goodlooking
You wanna argue with me that that's not part of this love story? Suck my balls. That's part of the fantasy part of it...they are photo-friendly, which is a necessary part of their appeal since their love is THROUGH photos. If they were ugly mofos, people wouldn't have been interested, they wouldn't have continued their collaboration, they wouldn't have gotten the funds to continue their business, so on and so forth.

4. They're real...and they're nerdy
This is a love story for modern times. This isn't chivalry, some dude fighting for the love of his woman, a story of strife...it's real. Just two people who pursued their hobby, their inner geeks, and as a result built a bond. It makes anyone think "Wow...that could be me!"
(Granted...this is the exception, not the rule. For more info, see My blog entry on HJNTIY

5. They're not trying to make a buck
At least, according to the article. They're hocking their business of photo-editing, but you can't buy their prints straight off the site (from my search anyway). It just seems like they truly are passionate for what they do, which is what brought them together. Nothing shady.

6. It makes you believe
Okay, maybe I'm a sucker. yeah, I admit it. i'm a sucker for love. I'm a sucker for all things Disney. i'm a sucker when I watch Love Actually and the music roars at the end as Collin Firth goes to propose to Aurelia with the town following him, or Mark telling on paper to Keira Knightley that she's perfect and he's wasted heart will love her till she gets all wrinkly/nasty...i'm a SUCKER. I want to BELIEVE. I really do. This story...makes you believe.



And that's as sappy as you're going to get from me.

He's Just Not That Into You

If you're a female and you have a pulse, then you read He's Just Not That Into You when it first came out.

It seemed a little odd to have a self-help book be turned into a movie, but whatever...Greg Bernhardt is a sellout douchebag so it seems it would be fitting. And it seemed fitting that all the best scenes were probably shown in previews.

I am happy to say, I was proved wrong. This movie kicks ass. Minus the stupid cameo with Greg as a wedding minister. What the eff. Damn he's such a tool. Can someone PLEASE tell him to shave that dead thing off his chin?
Seriously hate facial hair, especially ones that look like a small rodent is growing



The premise is pretty easy...take the lessons in the book, then show scenes from people's lives that illustrate the point.

It's been years since I read it, but DAMN if you aren't reminded of previous dates/boyfriends/flings/manfriends/relationships/whatever when you watch this movie. One brilliant point: you are the RULE, not the EXCEPTION.

Everyone has a story about a couple who met in some bizarro way. Or a chick who married a guy after he brushed her off for a year. Or how the guy really DID go out of town, lose her number, but found her and married her. Those are the EXCEPTIONS.

WE ARE NOT EXCEPTIONS.

WE ARE THE RULE. And the rule says that in general, those jackass things don't turn into great moments of romance.

On another note, Jennifer Aniston still proves that she will forever be Rachel. This is just Rachel older and dating Ben Affleck.

Ginnifer Goodwin gives a fantastic performance as Gigi, the girl who f*cks up everything.

And damn, I hated Scarlett Johansson before...I hate her even more now. The lesson of her story is: don't be a frickin' whore or you'll end up alone.

When I read the book, I remember thinking back to two guys I dated...and yes, even *I* the all-knowing girl wonder that I am even made excuses for them.

One was a dude who I met when I was in university. Damn, I don't remember his name but I know he had shingles the summer before and he thought Carmen Electra (who had just been discovered) was super hot. His dad was a cop and he used to get mad when tv shows depicted blood as red since it dries to brown in real life. We had a fantastic date, he was enamored with me, blah blah. Then we had a few more dates, and it was all that magical pot-of-gold-unicorns-rainbow crap. Then suddenly...he went MIA. And i got the excuse that he was traveling for volleyball. Then stuff about hanging out with an ex-girlfriend. But stupid me kept calling him...i didn't understand how we could have these awesome dates and suddenly he would pull away. Well moron, he hinted in not so many words that he was pining for his ex-girlfriend. And i'm sure when she got wind of him dating someone new, she "suddenly remembered" that he was the one for her. And then he was....no longer into me.

The other dude I don't think I even knew his last name. He drove a mustang, so my friends and I called him Adam Mustang. On our date, he ran into someone he knew. Guess who wasn't even introduced on the date? Guess who just sat there like an IDIOT while he chatted with this other dude for like half an hour (i am NOT exaggerating. It was horrible). What a f*cking moron...i looked cute. I WAS CUTE. Anyway after the horrible date, of course I didnt' hear from him. But being the idiot that I was...I called him a few times. Left some VMs. It was blazingly obvious: a guy who likes a girl will NOT be distracted for 30 mins on a date...especially a first date, and especially not distracted by some MALE buddy (i think it was a coworker....he wasn't gay :P).
Finally when I wrote him off...a few months later, he called ME. I think I was dating somoene else by then so I gave him the brush off, but in hindsight it was sooooo very clear he wanted a bootycall. (For the record: we had never slept together, or even got past a kiss...which I think is part of the "problem"...i think he thought he would score that night. Only to discover that a) not my style, and b) i lived with my parents). No one was any less into me than Adam Mustang, but I was too much of a stupid girl to realize that.

This should be required reading for girls in highschool. I'd say elementary school, but there's alot of sex talk in the book.

Oh and on another note: this whole schpiel of telling little girls that if a boy is mean to you it's because he likes you is BULL CRAP. If a boy is mean to you he's an abusive d1ck and if he pulls your hair, you should whack him in the nuts. No boy should ever be allowed to be controlling, verbally/emotionally/whatever abusive, and should certainly not make a girl be led to believe that he's treating her right when he so clearly is not.


Yes, indeed, it's just Rachel all over again.

Gonna be good in a depressing sad kinda way

I love Sarah Michelle Gellar. She picks some great projects (I can't even fault her for Scooby Doo...who wouldn't want to play in that movie?!). This is going to be effing amazing.

Veronika Decides to Die

Release Date: March 2009

Genre: Drama

Director: Emily Young

Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jonathan Tucker, David Thewlis, Melissa Leo, Erika Christensen

The story centers on Veronika, a woman in her mid twenties who appears to have everything: good looks, good job and a great life ahead of her. Yet she decides to end her own life. She is unsuccessful and awakens in a mental hospital where she learns that she has five days to live. We learn that the reason that she attempted suicide was that she felt so constrained by the rules and expectations of 'normal' society that she had concluded that she had experienced all that life had to offer. However in the hospital she meets people who are only 'insane' because they don't always follow society's rules. With little left to lose, Veronika embarks on a journey on which she frees herself to experience relationships and emotions and ultimately discovers what it means to live.

When I grow up

I typically say that when I grow up, I want to be Blair Waldorf.
yeah. you heard me. I want to be a rich teen new york socialite with old money. Suck it.

But really, I just want to be Kate Winslet. People in hollywood eventually f*ck up and do something classless...this girl oozes so much class it leaves a diamond slime trail behind her.

Why i should be a teenage boy

(note: if you're reading this through facebook, i don't think the gif will animate)

I swear, this cracks me the eff up...in the movie this scene was horribly acted (the way it played in my brain was SO much better)...but this gif rocks my world:



My humor has reduced to a teenage boy's...

Comic Con pics

OKAY...finally...
Here's the pics from Comic Con 2008

I'm DONE. You hear me? I'm DONE. I'm so over going. My goal this year was to photograph just random nerdness. Kraig went almost every day, I just went on Saturday (Sunday gave my tix to Tim and Mark, after we filmed Mark's band's music video snippets).

A few things to note...

Felicia and I are noting the bromance brewing between Kraig and John


Summer Glau is every nerd's wet dream. She's not hot enough to be a regular actress, but put her in 4400, Terminator, Firefly, Serenity...and nerds everywhere are ready to shoot their loads.


This kid was the freakiest person I've ever met. I think he was there alone, which is a warning sign #1. When Kraig took his picture, he freaked out asking whether he got his STINGER in the picture. And then he ranted about how cool his stinger was (warning #2)! He was almost getting aggressive, like kid, chill the eff out!


This guy was from Stargate or Battlestar Galactica (i think i mislabeled the images in Shutterfly)...I don't know who he is, but he was GORGEOUS. I mean, honestly, I don't know why every nerd woman there didn't rape him. I felt like when I walked by it suddenly got all slow-mo and "I just died in your arms tonight" played in the air...he was supa dupa fly.


Nathan Fillion is such a douchebag. His shows all tank (minus Desperate Housewives), he can't act his way out of a paperbag, and he's not even remotely attractive. I don't see how this tool has a job.


I used to work with this guy. What's scary is that everyone was in awe of him when he was wandering around, and my reaction was "OMG...i worked with that guy!"...What are the odds?



So that's it, I'm DONE with Comic Con, i'm done with posting pictures, I'm over it!

Note that it was so humid in San Diego, I was rockin' some crazy wavy curly hair...grrrrrrrrrrr....nothing says sexy like crazy frizzy wavy hair, a Disney tshirt, and running shoes. Yeah!

Can't wait movie omg omg

Seth Green. Amish. What more do you need in life. Very rarely does a preview make me giggle as much as this one did:

Comic Con recap coming soon

Until then, this cracked me up (found on the Oh No They Didn't celeb gossip site):

Movie review: Batman The Dark Knight (no spoilers)

Since this is a big ticket movie, I won't put any spoilers here.

Last night I went to the ghetto Kaleidoscope to see the latest Batman flick, which amazingly wasn't packed at all. I actually was first in line in that little lineup thing they make you stand in before entering the theater so I was stoked. Until I realized that there was only like 30 people in there, which deprived me of my power trip.

I was spoiled by Sex And The City, the previews were max 1 minute. They jumped straight to the movie. This damn movie had at least 9 minutes of previews, which really just irritated the crap out of me.

The movie was also incredibly long, and being of the MTV generation after awhile my enjoyment factor goes downhill. I can't stand anything for 3 hours. I have a jacked up knee and I was attempting to stretch my leg out without much luck. After 3 hours, I start to feel like the directors and moviemakers are just plain arrogant to think that their movie is so damn good they don't need to edit it down because I'm going to be so in love with their work, i WANT to suffer for another half hour.

Those editors have an easy job. They don't have to cut anything out.

Heath Ledger kicked ass, he really did a brilliant job. I had to remind myself this is the likable anti-hero of Ten Things I Hate About You. Kraig made a comment about what they should have done to his character at the end of the movie, but I pointed out that given that he's DEAD and all, they probably had to factor in what would be appropriate at the end (sad, but true).

I was trying to think of why they would cast Maggie Gyllenhaal to replace Katie Holmes. She's quirky but NOT attractive, and at one point The Joker calls her "beautiful". Umm no, no she's not. But then again, The Joker is crazy so maybe that's a diss. Then I remembered that Heath did Brokeback with Jake Gyllenhaal, and maybe that's how Maggie got her "in" to this movie. I suppose when you have to simulate gay sex with a dude, you either have to buy him dinner or cast his sister in your next movie.

(shrug) Without giving away any plotlines, I'll say it's a pretty good movie. I preferred the first one, but this one is entertaining in its own right. I'd give the special effects/CG guys props, as well as the makeup artists (seriously, the last 1/3rd of the movie...you'll understand what i mean re: makeup artists). Hell, let's give the gaffer some mad love too for his efforts in making things seem...um like nighttime.

This was a very cryptic movie review. Suck it.

Letter to the editor

Carrie (re: Running Man book): heck yeah I read the book, it was awesome! Very different from the movie however, but the best part is when book-version-Arnold is crawling on the floor, his guts spilling out, then his intestines loop around some dead guy's head so he has to crawl back to unhook it and shove it back inside him....In addition to my Piers Anthony/Isaac Asimov reading phases, i was all into Stephen King (Richard Bachman), but I remember seeing Creepshow 2 and IT and those scared the crap out of me so I stopped reading his books.

I don't think you're right at all about society moving towards the absence of sexual content.
Tim: You're putting words in my mouth. I don't think we're "moving" towards it, we already have. You can't possibly think we're where we were in the days of woodstock and houses where you could go specifically to bone someone else. Those things still go on, but nowhere NEAR the same levels what with the advent of AIDS and STDs...I'm not saying it'll be complete absence, at least not in our lifetimes (I mean, if in the next generation there's an STD you get just by LOOKING at gonads, then f*ck it...i'd have no problems wearing a chastity belt forever).

MARLENE YOU ROCK...yes the Gigi is what I was thinking of. Why are these things marketed towards chicks, I'll bet that Gigi thing feels way better than a frickin' blow up doll for a dude if he's a germaphobe of the future. Although what do I know, maybe these are marketed towards dudes too. Damn i can't find a pic online, there's alotta things called "gigi" on the net.

EDITED: Marcella you KICK ASS! Here's a pic:


Back to Creepshow 2...the only reason I was scared of that movie was the vignette (The Raft) of the black oil slick that would eat people on this little lake. For real, this concept scared the pulp out of me. In hindsight, not really so scary, but damn for years I just got freaked out that some big black oil slick blob was going to engulf me.

Sex, Robots, and Isaac Asimov

When i was still in elementary school I went through a massive nerd phase where I read books like crazy. Not that that's something new, but my parents actually threw out our TV (which I didn't tell anyone at the time, who's parents actually physically THROW OUT a tv? The only family tv? And then go years without one? My formative Saved by the Bell years were spent reading books instead of watching tv. Gee, wonder why I'm so addicted to television now? But i digress). So i went pretty fast from reading Babysitter's Club/Sweet Valley High to Piers Anthony and Isaac Asimov, I probably read more books during that non-tv time than I ever will for the rest of my life (and I'm in a book club even!).

Thanks mom and dad, for making me the socially retarded woman I am today.

I remember reading Robots of Dawn (in addition to many other books by Isaac Asimov, who's a mutha effin' sci fi badass...ummm as badass as you can be given the subject) and although i didn't get very much of the sexual references at the time, I do remember a key element in the book is that on whatever planet (Aurora?), humans don't actually interface with each other. They're total germophobes. You can see each other through holographic-type phone systems so it seems like you're there when you're not. And some chicks just bone their robots (Daneel i believe was one of them), since they're man-like anyway (nice! I approve). Funny that Isaac Asimov didn't think to reference Purell hand sanitizer anywhere in his books, i'm sure he thought of it before the stuff was actually invented.



I also recall the hero of the book actually getting to physically bone one of the chicks in the book, and the whole sex scene was written out like he was taking her on some sort of trip. Flying or something. I don't know, I didn't get it then, and I'm certainly not creative enough to figure it out now. If someone can make sex seem like I'm sitting on a beach in Hawaii drinking out of a coconut (without my husband losing his wedding ring in the ocean in Waikiki lol), let me know.

What I do remember is thinking how odd that any sexual contact was electronic, through holographic images or with robots. And now...that's what society is turning towards. Maybe because I still have that Vh1 “Sex the Revolution” series in my brain, but we are a society that has to fear herpes, AIDs, baby mama drama...and we also have immediate access to all things sex thanks to the web and Passion Parties (Marlene, wtf is the name of that jelly-ish thing with a hole in it that you guys got me for my bridal shower? For the life of me, i can't remember what it's called but it seems like now would be time for a good shout out to that doodad!).

Very much like in Isaac Asimov's worlds, you can have aseptic sex virtually with anyone in the world as long as you have a method of communication, some sort of camera device, and your own little robot (that runs on two AA batteries lol).

Much like how Stephen King was ahead of this time with The Running Man (link to that blog entry here, effing best movie ever! Second to Clueless), Isaac Asimov was also well ahead of his time and totally foresaw the future of sex.

Yay to nerds.

Letter to the Editor

Hey where you at a place called Islands?

No, the picture post was when we were at Yard House for dinner, then Chronic Cantina to get our partayyy on. Which everyone did...Janet went home to vomit up a lung, and at 3am I was still cleaning the vomit from behind the toilet because Kraig missed.

He said that someone handed him a drink, he has no idea who, and that put him over the edge. This week I ran into an ex-coworker of mine who happened to have been at Chronic that night, and SHE was the temptress with the shot! Thanks Jill :P

In other news, yeah i know the video below is effed up on the page, i'm too lazy to resize it. Suck it.

Im also vowing to blog at LEAST once or twice a week. Speaking of vows, I suck at my NY Monthly Resolution List. I don't think I completed a single thing. And we're JUne. I think this month's goal was to read all my French books while vegging out at Lake MV. So much for that.

In case anyone needs an entertainment fix, here's the abridged version:

Get Smart: I would lick Steve Carrell's balls, so I'm a little biased towards anything he does. That being said, this movie was pretty bad. Once you week out the pratfalls and wisecracks, you're stuck wondering wtf is going on with the plot. They're going to Russia to check what now? And why are they in that dude's house? Oh it's an excuse to do that laser alarm scene. Gotcha.

Swingtown This show is easily becoming my Gossip Girls for the summer. I adore the retro clothing and stuff, I love that Grant Show (from Melrose Place) has a porn star mustache....it's a delightfully tacky show. And yeah, it's about a couple that moves into a neighborhood and gets sucked into swinging courtesy of Mr. Porn 'Stache.

America's Best Dance Crew 2 Randy Jackson, I hate you...but I love you. You make me even like Mario Lopez (who, I have to admit, is at least a genius with his career...he's even more successful than Tiffany Amber Thiesson, whatever spelling). I miss my Gr8 Sk8 crew, and Jabawockees, but these teams are shaping up to "bring on yo A-game, this is Season Two y'all, but i respect what y'all ahh doin'"...

Kah-Toe-Mahh-Tayyyyy!

Movie Review: Alpha Dog

Yeah, I watched two movies this weekend. Well actually 3, I finally saw "Airplane!" which yes, i've never seen. Suck it.

Alpha Dog, in a nutshell, is a f*cked up movie.

That's it. That's all I gotta say really. Oh it also features Ben Foster, who I noted in my previous post plays nutty/psycho guy REALLY well.

Another movie I'd recommend, if you're in the mood for gratuitous drug use, smoking, swearing, nudity, and sweaty guys freaking out with guns in their hands wiping goo off their faces. And seriously I do recommend it. I liked it.

Movie Review: 3:10 to Yuma

As usual, I need to start this movie review with a disclaimer:

I can't stand westerns. I really, really can't stand them. And it's for the most retarded of reasons: I can't tell anyone apart. Somehow the yellow cast of the filming with the brown/yellow dirty clothes and cowboy hats makes it so that I can't tell who's who unless it happens to be someone pretty famous. So if I'm watching an older Western, forget it: other than Clint Eastwood I won't know who's the bad guy vs. the good guy.

And all that "I reckon" talk just pops a big ol' question mark over my head.

That being said, "3:10 to Yuma" has enough famous people in it for me to tell the difference. One of the true stars of the movie is Ben Foster. That dude plays crazy REALLY well. He recently was on My Name is Earl as the nutty guy who Earl's afraid of in jail. He played another nutty druggie guy in Alpha Dog. Ben Foster plays nutty so well, I fail to believe he's actually a normal dude in real life; if I saw him in the grocery store I'd run out of that Albertsons clutching my purse.

The concept is pretty good: good guy must get bad guy to a train heading to prison at 3:10...while a billion badasses are trying to kill you to get their bad guy leader back. Christian Bale is a big favorite of mine (he did American Psycho soooo well, and I had intended on hating him before I even saw the movie because I fell in love with the character from the book), but he really does do a fantastic job in the movie.

I actually would recommend this flick if you want to mix it up a little, get your violence on, and root for the good AND bad guys.