Monday, December 31, 2007

When it rains, it pours!

You know how some people have one car problem after another? Well it seems we have computer problem after another.

A year ago we swapped out the old "main" family computer for Kraig's somewhat old Dell computer (it was better...it just wasn't being used because Kraig had a laptop from work he was using). STored the Old Main in the closet.

Computer Status at this time: the Dell, his work laptop, and this ghetto old laptop i've got.

Earlier this year kraig got a new job, so he got one of those Western Digital "MyBook" things (over $200) to put the stuff from his work computer, his work laptop on...well after the IT guy at his old company erased those systems, the MyBook crapped out.

Kraig called WD but basically they said they could give him a new one (it was brand new), but that wasnt the point...the information ON it is what's important.

I took it into my IT guy at work and he said that the disk inside won't spin, he popped off the case and tried to attach it to a regular computer...basically, it was dead. Kraig then looked into a storage recovery thing but those are CRAZY expensive 'cause they have to wear bunny suits and look all fancy to protect the disk when they try to recover the info.

Computer status at this time: The Dell, the ghetto laptop, and an unusable WD storage device.

Then the ghetto laptop got f*cked up REALLY badly. It kept crashing, then restarting, and the only way to get it to stop this cycle was for it to repeat it and let the battery die out. I had to re-install windows from scratch (have you ever tried doing that? It took HOURS. And wiped out everything I had). It still doesn't work great, I get a blue screen about once an hour, so it's good for random web surfing and that's it. Remember the blue screen of death days? It's even WORSE when you get it without having Windows 95.

THEN the Dell crapped out...it gets stuck at the main Windows bootup logo thing...so this morning Kraig and I had to put the Old Main one back in ('cause i've got stuff I need to do that requires a steady system, knock on wood).

Computer status at this time: a Dell that won't work, a ghetto laptop that barely works, an unusable WD storage device, and an Old Main computer that seriously it like working on my old skool Pentium 75.

THEN...THEN...just NOW...i was printing shipping labels for my ebay stuff when my printer crapped out. By "crapped out" i mean, it shorted out. I can unplug it and replug it in and get a flicker of light for a second and that's it.

I LOVE THAT PRINTER. It's an HP LaserJet 4, one of the best printers ever made. That thing is at least 15 years old and has held up SO well. If you go online it still gets the best reviews for printers, and that sucker is still used in businesses. LOVE LOVE LOVE this printer.

So what do I have now?
A super crazy old slow Old Main family computer and the use of my HP inkjet. The inkjet is fine but it's not ideal, for the cost of replacing ink in that sucker I might as well buy a brand new laser printer. Plus i'm a Printer Snob: inkjets, deskjets, whatever, they're unacceptable. It's laser or nothing.

Do i pay to fix the HP? Do I get a new laser? Either way, it'll cost $$...which is ironic since it shorted out while i was trying to print out shipping labels for stuff on ebay IN ORDER TO MAKE MONEY...argh. One step forward, eight steps back.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Cooking with that ghetto free Costco cookbook

Over the holidays Costco gave away this cookbook using, naturally, costco-specific products (which isn't too hard to substitute). Cookbooks are like serious food porn...i could pour over the pages, salivating, oggling, for hours...and repeat it frequently.

I decided today to give two recipes a whirl: the meatloaf and the apple-cheese soup.

The soup (link to cookbook, go to page 77): it's actually pretty tasty, except I added extra mustard powder and tabasco, since I generally think recipes are very bland in flavor (I feel pretty confident in my spice-skills, since a coworker pointed out that whatever I bring in always has the right amount of spices...which I tend to triple in a given recipe). Oh and I used that fat-free oil (Enova) instead of butter, since the whole planet knows I've got an aversion to butter. Only problem is that I was cooking while reading and missed hte part that said to peel the apples before putting them in...ahh well, it still tastes pretty spiffy.

You wouldn't think a cheese-apple soup would be good, but you gotta use granny smith apples which makes it very tangy.

Healthy Mini Meatloaves: (link to cookbook, go to page 147) this is my first ever meatloaf, to be honest I've never really had meatloaf before (unless a bite off someone's plate once counts). It's good, VERY easy to make, except this is what I would change:
- don't bother with the muffin concept...i dunno, maybe i'm weird, but i think a traditional old skool meatloaf format would be better.
- I added like 5 times the thyme and i would definitely not hesitate to be liberal with that. Plus I would add even MORE pepper than the boatloads that i added. Turkey's not exactly the most flavorful meat.
- I would really, REALLY chop finely the mushrooms and onions...even maybe puree them (if i had a mini food processor...not worth whipping out the big one...heh heh that sounded perverted), i don't like big chunks of stuff in my food.

Overall, considering it's Costco, it's a very good cookbook. Instructions are clear, recipes may look like they take alot of ingredients but they're all basic stuff nothing crazy (One thing I hate about Rachel Rey's stuff is that they usually need some white whine...wtf i don't keep white wine laying around, let alone waste the rest of the bottle...not a white wine fan)....

Time to get my Girls Next Door and Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood on...

Movie Review: Au Revoir Les Enfants


I have no idea why I added this movie to our Netflix queue, I think I read somewhere that it was really, REALLY good.

Ummm...riigghtt.

Maybe part of the problem is that I turned the subtitles off, and the last time I saw a movie in French without subtitles was in high school. I speak (or at least, have the caveman vocab skills) Quebec French, not France French, which makes it harder in general to understand the movie. Also doesn't help that I moved from an English/French country 7 years ago to an English/Spanish country...lord help me if I had to speak French under duress, i'd be hosed.

So the movie is about a kid (Julien) who has to go to some private catholic boys' school during WWII. While there he befriends a Jewish kid (Jean Bennet). Then the germans come and take the kid away. That's it. Seriously. THAT'S IT.

Oh did I ruin it for you?! I don't see how this movie won all sorts of awards. The scenes were too long and there was ALOT of scenes that were pointless. Julien gets lost in a forest...i swear that was half the movie. How many scenes of a frightened kid with a camera circling him do you need to make to convey the point that he's lost?!

At any given moment I was waiting for the Germans to come in and do some brutal shooting (doesn't help that i saw Smoking Aces the night before, so my brain was in full-on Gratuitous Violence mode) but it didn't happen. I thought maybe one of the Catholic priests was gonna have his way with the boys, but that didn't happen either. There wasn't even any Boy On Boy action (at best, two boys were scoping out some porn before taking a shower).

If you're in the mood for a slow-paced foreign movie with little point, then I guess I recommend it.

Note: This movie is based on the director's personal experience. Personal experiences don't always make for good movies. You know what I did today? I woke up, had a cookie for breakfast, checked out my email, took a shower, went grocery shopping, prepped dinner, then watched the movie. You don't see me making a frickin' movie! HA or maybe I should...i'm sure i'd win some foreign movie for what is otherwise known as My Random Sunday.

Yeah! New template layout!

Well you probably don't notice anything, but I was using an older template and now I finally got Blogger to update it so I can start adding "modules"...note the new module on the right, where you can view by topic. That being said, clearly that would have required me to add a label topic for each and every blog entry I've ever done, and there's 559 of 'em.

I attempted to go through and update them until I realized (probably around 9 entries in) that that's ALOT of work. Even if you do a search by topic. So...suck it. It'll take awhile. And i highly doubt anyone's going to be reading by topic anyway.

Dammit, now I gotta create a label for THIS entry.

Letter to the Editor

How come you never told me that Ryan Reynolds and Alanis broke up. I thought for sure being that you love him and hate them being together would have blogged about that! I had to find out on yahoo in the best 10 best breakups of 2007!

LOL. They broke up in February, but that was their "No, for realz this time, we're broken up" which never counts. So they broke up long before that in mid-2006, which I'm pretty sure I blogged about 'cause it was about effing time.

Oh speaking of Alanis...

My hatred of Alanis runs deep. She's from Ottawa, I'm from Ottawa, and most people in Ottawa (at least, before I moved) can't stand her either. She developed a pretty bad reputation from the get go as a teen diva. Since she was our only celebrity rumors run rampant. She also went to the same high school as a then-friend of mine and I found it absolutely insane that Alanis taught my friend's Sex Ed class (Alanis was in OAC/Grade 13 at the time, my friend was in 9th).

The second-final straw that made me dislike her was purely my own fault: at 14, I went to the mall with Stacey, Erin, and Mandi...and bought Alanis' tape. TAPE. WTF. You know how much it cost me? $18.99 at Music World. The minute I made that purchase I regretted it. Why did I buy it you ask? Because *gasp* Alanis was at the mall signing autographs! How on earth could I pass up THAT opportunity of a lifetime?!

I always vowed to one day sell the damn thing and finally last week I did. After the purchase and some skimming off the top from s&h fees, I'd say I made around $8 from it. That's $8 US...oh wait, the US dollar means nothing relative to the Canadian dollar, plus factor in the cost of just having invested that $18.99 (that doesn't even include crazy canadian taxes)...yeah I took a pretty big loss on that purchase.

Then...the FINAL straw...when she started boning Ryan Reynolds.

Damn you Alanis! Damn you all to hell!

The Ultimate Cheapskate’s Road Map to True Riches

It seems that there's a "community" if you will of compiled personal finance blogs (do a search for "pf blogs" and it'll come up. Anyway, I came across one websites review of The Ultimate Cheapskate’s Road Map to True Riches by Jeff Yeager.

Apparently the author has 6 rules for "ruling your gold":
1. Live within your means at thirty, and stay there.
Well I'm 30 and I think I'm living within my means. But I have massive debt (the house, the cars) but then again, other things get paid in full (credit card bill, property taxes, etc). The blog that I found this from mentioned living the way you did at 25...well at 25 my rent was $1710/month for a 700sq.ft. apartment...no wait that was when I was 23. At 25 my rent was $1400 for a two bedroom two bathroom apartment (hmmm but split with two people, that's only $700 each). If you split what Kraig and I pay, it's around $1400 each...but that's for interest-only which I guess is the same as renting...anyway, forget how you lived at 25. At 25 I didn't have life insurance, disability insurance, homeowner's insurance (renter's insurance is wayyy cheaper)...but true, there's no reason to exceed the lifestyle we have now.

2. Never underestimate the power of not spending.
Oh trust me, I don't underestimate that at all...there's times I'll be at target with a full basket of crap only to later walk out with just a bottle of conditioner. I can talk myself out of any purchase, and I actually get a sense of pride when I do that.

3. Discretion is the better part of shopping.
Once again, this isn't that hard to do. It's pretty easy to look at an item and assess if you NEED it vs. if you WANT it, and where you can find it cheaper. Heck, I have never bought Holiday cards full price, I buy all my holiday crap on December 26th. So doing good so far.

4. Do for yourself what you could have others do for you.
This is a huge deal for me, because I know so many people who hire people to do stuff. I can't justify hiring a maid as much as I'd love to...because we don't even have kids and we're not here during the day to mess up the house, I can't justify paying someone for a skill (cleaning) that I already own. Which is also why I tried my hand at plumbing, and why I still have outdoor motion-detector lights sitting in my office (I know Kraig and I could install them ourselves but since it's electrical, I figure it would help to read ALOT on it first). Every time I've caved and hired someone it's been a huge feeling of defeat, but then again it's also been a necessity (and every single time, at least we tried!)

5. Anyone can negotiate anything.
Now this is where I have problems. If it's something that I used to do (say, banking or retail), then negotiating is not a problem. Other than that however, I'm pretty useless. I tend to take a "oh well, I tried" attitude the minute I get shot down. I remember going garage-saling in the bay area and I had to get Marlene to negotiate a price for me, 'cause I was just too chicken to do it. WTF, too chicken to offend a garage sale woman over something for a buck?!! Definitely need to improve on this tactic.

6. Pinch the dollars, and the pennies will pinch themselves. This is the message that Elizabeth Warren preaches: limit your spending on the big things (like your mortgage), and you won’t have to worry so much about saving money on groceries.
Hmmm well this isn't so easy. The mortgage and cars have already been purchased, and there really was no way we could get around the house situation (we were being pushed out and naturally we didn't know we would single handedly stop the housing market). Plus with my car, I knew that I would have it for at least 15 years so certain factors were important (getting the limited edition so that we could get the dual temperatures...VERY important on long drives to the bay area!). I guess other than having to buy those items (2 cars, 1 house) we've done okay. Heck, I don't even visit my own family because of the cost of airfare. We recently stayed at a super ultra posh Hyatt Regency for only $60 because of Priceline (that would have cost us alot more if I had done something like hotels.com or even gone straight to Hyatt's website). So...I think in the grand scheme it's not too hard to watch yer dough with the big purchases, and if you make them odds are it's out of necessity.
Or maybe just 'cause I'm a chick...i can't imagine buying a house or a car on a whim.


There’s a lot more to The Ultimate Cheapskate’s Road Map to True Riches. Yeager covers topics like:

* Eating well for cheap. (Yeager tries to buy food that costs less than a dollar per pound.)
* Buying a sensible home and then repaying the mortgage as soon as possible.
* Commuting without a car.
* Cheap entertainment. Yeager encourages readers to make the most of their hobbies.

Ultimately, the message of this book is that stuff will not make you happy. Happiness comes from knowing when you have enough. In his final chapter, Yeager stresses the importance of amassing a quality of life over a quantity of stuff. “Many choices you must make [involve] the trade-off between money and time,” he writes. “By being cheap…you’re valuing time and the things you can do with it more than money and the things you can buy with it.”


Well I'd say I eat cheap, considering my lunch is usually just canned soup and I try to make Kraig a lunch as often as possible...and if we eat out it's courtesy of the Entertainment Book. As for buying a sensible home...yeah well this is southern california. Paying it off will never happen in anyone's lifetime. Commuting without a car is also impossible in southern california, unless I want to take the bus at 5am for a 12 mile commute and most likely get assaulted along the way. Cheap entertainment...lots of tv and Netflix, yeah!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

No...it can't be...over...

It's one hour till Sunday, which means there's only a few days in my Xmas vacay left...

Oh the humanity, no! My anxiety is already creeping up. Which maybe contributes to why I screamed at my husband like a madman (madwoman) this morning for using the stupid built-in cutting board instead of a regular dishwasher-friendly cutting board.

Anxiety = bad.

Watched a few DVDs over this holiday...

Movie Review: 28 Weeks Later
I really enjoyed 28 Days Later, mostly because it's concept of a "rage virus" was a fresh take on the usual zombie movies. It doesnt' make sense that dead people attack live people and can move like an athlete on steroids; it does make sense that there's a virus that makes you do crazy sheeot.

Let's just say the original movie is like an Academy Award winning movie compared to the sequel.

The is that 28 weeks later the world decides that you can go back to England because the last of the infected have died of starvation. First off, no one in their right mind would think less than a year later is okay to go back. Secondly, you wouldn't bring back civilians....oh but then you wouldn' thave a movie if you didn't have some retarded civilians effing everything up...

Anyway, I won't even bother with the rest of the review except to say that it's the usual monster comes after the good guys, good guys keep running, monsters keep chasing them, repeat repeat.

Movie Review: Smoking Aces
I was really excited to see this movie, for two reasons:
1. A crapload of people told me it was incredible. I forgot that a crapload of people = masses, and masses of people are generally morons.
2. Ryan Reynolds is ridiculously hot.

The gist of the movie is that there's one dude that has a hit out on him, and the pricetag to whoever can kill him and get his heart is a million bucks. So we follow various groups of hitmen (plus two hit women) plus the FBI agents who are also out to find him before he runs.

Jeremy Piven, who's normally a total blowhard, is VERY good as an egotistical magician who's going nuts in his hotel room knowing that people are out to get him.

And the tales of all the quirky-yet-lovable-or-uber-cool hitmen were very entertaining.

My main beef was the very end...totally predictable AND boring...like they couldn't come up with something else. Except the DVD shows they DID have an alternate ending, which was equally bad.

So...if you don't care about the very end, then I guess it's pretty entertaining. Would have been nicer to have some great fight scenes, instead of just straight-up fight scenes. And you can't go wrong with Ryan Reynolds, beard or no beard. And the DVD outtakes were pretty good.

And because I can, a gratuitous picture of Ryan Reynolds:


I've got out on Netflix "Strangers with Candy" and "Au Revoir Les Enfants", so hopefully those will live up to the hype.

New Year's Goals

Now that I'm on this hardcore thing to reduce the home equity loan, I've found some fantastic websites on cash, frugality, and other random stuff about the almighty dollar. One of these days i'll get around to posting them.

So here's the unofficial 2008 New Year's Goals. The key here is that a given month's goals may be swapped for another month's goals. And any of these goals may get shifted based on a pending trip to Ottawa/Toronto.

Jan
- fill out that Insurance Inventory kit thing I got (doesn't serve much point to have replacement insurance if you can't prove you have the stuff in the first place)
- continue ebaying mags (50% of the remaining amount)

Feb
- ebay the remaining magazine lot
- fill out the Life Doc info

March
- paint kitchen cabinets

April
- paint kitchen cabinets (2 month project...because i know i'm lazy)

May
- paint kitchen walls
- sand, fill in holes, paint front door

June
- complete my other website about cube life(it's already up if you're bored but it's nowhere near complete, email me for the link 'cause i'm not posting it here)

July
- paint upstairs hallway

Aug
- read all the French books i've got (figure this is a good summer goal with beach reading and all that)

Sept
- paint the door trim and handrail
- Liz's wedding (not really a goal so much as a reminder to not do anything crazy this month)

Oct
- complete Kraigart.com for my sweetie

November and December
Free, or to use to complete any of the other stuff that didn't get wrapped up.

And of course, pay down that damn home equity loan.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Bhutto....

So yesterday I was in complete shock over her death...having family in Pakistan, I think i knew how Benazir Bhutto was before I knew who the prime minister of Canada or the US president was...

Since I don't have much to say since i'm so shocked, I figured people would get a kick out of my mom's comment on the situation:

as one political analyst said ... bhutto was not what the west made her out to be, she was corrupt just like the rest of them. blackmailed, imprisoned and tortured her opponents, had her brother killed who started his own political party, stole 2 billion $ from the pakistan treasury while in power. her husband looted pakistani museums selling artifacts on the black market amongst other things. both hardcore criminals and rotten to the core i would say.

I'm usually amazed how far out there my mom's opinions are, but I have to admit...I actually kind of dig that she has the complete opposite opinion of mainsteam north americans. Maybe that's why I like to play devil's advocate at times, because I grew up hearing both sides of a given situation. Obviously Bhutto is being hyped up, there's no denying it...but I'm not going to believe she outright had her brother killed.

Food for thought. Hmmm, maybe we should make that Exercise for Thought, 'cause seriously my brain does NOT need more food. It needs its cellulite-laden ass to get itself to the gym.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The ghetto avenue boys

So I updated my blog template to display a tracker for the 2008 home loan paydown (which is kind of cheating because it includes stuff paid down from this year...but whatever). Scroll all the way down to the end if you're curious to know the status.

If you don't buy clothes or purses that would sure save you at least an extra $200-$300 a month...right?

Good Lord Marlene! :P I think I spent that much a YEAR! But I'm glad I've got support, 'cause I'm gonna need it this upcoming year that's for sure...

Can't believe 2007 is almost over...i can't believe it'll be THIRTY ONE next year...

Bryan: you still owe me pics of your place...

Friday, December 21, 2007

I resolve to create a resolution

The year is coming to an end...and its time to start thinking of NY's resolutions.

There was the year where I vowed to be more refined...didn't really succeed. Suck it.

Then I believe last year I decided to do "monthly goals" which I really liked, but then it got sidetrakced with the goal of getting my PMP certification (which I did get, so I achieved that yearly goal).

Now i'm sitting here wondering what to do for 2008. I'm inspired by AJ Jacobs who went a year trying to follow the bible as close as possible (A Year of Living Biblically...i've got his other book on how he read Encyclopdia Brittanica cover to cover, he's hilarious) so I wondered...what is something that i should do for one year...like my own social experiment?

The only thing I could think of would be: no clothes, shoes, or purses for all of 2008. That's doable, and it goes into the next part of the goal for 2008: I need to pay at least $15K extra towards my home equity loan or else we're in a world of hurt. Yay for the housing debacle. Anyway, back to the no clothes purchase for 2008. For any weddings I have to go to I've got plenty of things I can wear, and I guess if my black boots wear out then I can pay to repair them because I truly do love them.

But...then I remembered that I really wanted to take advantage of spring ski sales and I do need a ski jacket and ski pants...well by "need" i mean, "I have skis and i've only gone skiing ONCE in the past 7 years and to do that i had to borrow someone else's apparel which isn't gonna fly anymore".

So now i'm wondering...can I just say i'll go the entire year not buying shoes, purses, or clothes EXCEPT for one ski jacket and ski pants? That's not exactly an impulse or frivolous purchase, I've been meaning for years to do that.

However, if i truly want to be frugal I could wear the coat and snowpants (oh yes, they're "snowpants") that I had when I was like 14, which is this bright purple and blue coat with bright purple snowpants. They're not stylish, but they're what i wore skiing as a kid (then again, i also wasn't that warm in them...but i do have my old Columbia ski jacket but the zipper broke...but that's also an excuse, i've got workarounds tot he zipper situation you can still zip it up...just not easily...anyway).

So...that's one thought to consider.

The next part is what I already mentioned...$15K has to be paid down on the home equity (i.e. $30K over two years according to my COuntrywide guy)...which is no easy task when you need to spend your year saving $6K just for flippin' property taxes. And that's not really a "resolution" as much as a "fo' sho' you better pay down that loan or else you're homeless"...

OR...i could go back to the monthly goals. Like as a result of the PMP certification there's something that goes along with that (that i won't post) that i'd LIKE to get accomplished at the very latest by end of February, but that's not necessarily up to me...but like one month to paint the kitchen cabinets...another month to paint the upstairs hallway...another month to paint the kitchen itself...another month to do something once and for all with the garage (although i'd like to epoxy the floors, buying that stuff will take away from the $15K that needs to go to the equity), another month to read all the french books i keep meaning to read, another month to truly clear out the spare bedroom (i'm working on it, it involves ALOT of ebaying)...

I also found this website (Weekend Cookbook Challenge) that inspired me...basicallyt he gist is that you gotta open up a cookbook of yours and make one thing in a weekend. As someone who's got a desk job, that's not an easy task...heck, my biggest challenge is going grocery shopping because I can't stand doing it after work, and there's only so much you can buy in advance without it getting spoiled (and becuase it's just kraig and I, lots of times i waste stuff...like 1/4 of onions leave 3/4 to get wasted pretty easily). But i really do enjoy cooking, and I'd like to do more of it.

I could also take Nicole's advice and add to this NY's resolution list to "Join forces with your brother to better manage parental unit guilt trips." which is a fantastic idea...

Stay tuned. The key to a successful NY resolution is to not make it too big where it's easy to fail, but important enough to where you'll want to stick it it.

Kahhh Toe Mahhh Tayy!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Get outta my head

I swear, sometimes I should be shot for my horrible taste in things.

I actually kinda dig this video (mostly because poor Ashley doesn't realize that most people don't know that this is based off a series of paintings from the Salvador Dali museum) and the song...it's awful actually, it really is,b ut it reminds me of some bad early 80s music and purely for nostalgic purposes...i kinda dig it.

Feel free to beat me with my own limbs next time you see me.

Defensive Pessimism

In case it's not super obvious, I have mass amounts of anxiety and I worry like crazy. This used to bother me quite a bit...it's not normal to be in constant Chicken Little mode.

Eventually this year I finally realized that this kind of panicking and anxiety has served me VERY well over my life. Its lead me to be prepared for things that most other people aren't (emergency fund for layoffs, getting an advanced medical directive all set up so i'm not eating cream of mushroom soup if i'm in a coma, etc).

Yesterday I found this article about how bad that kind of attitude is, and that it's possible to still think ahead without the extreme anxiety.

There's a name for the kind of worry that contributes to a positive outcome: defensive pessimism.

DEFENSIVE
PESSIMISM

LOVE
IT!

It's not like it's easy to overcome this kind of thinking. All it takes is ONE incident to validate your feelings. I'm also mildly obsessive compulsive (i need need NEED need doors to be locked)...one time we stayed in a hotel in Florida, all of us with our passports in there, and i ran back down the hall to double-check the door...well turns out, the ghetto hotel's lock was busted and we ended up not only switching rooms, but switching hotels (they accused US of breaking the door...uh it's a key swipe system how do you break that?)...We all would have been effed (Christine and Noel in terms of traveling back to Canada, me with my TN visa in there) if something had happened as a result.

I say, EMBRACE your anxiety. Sure it'll eventually lead to heart disease and an ulcer, but you've already prepared for it so it's not that big of a deal.

When I planned for my wedding, I was one sack o' anxiety for 9 months straight. STRAIGHT. The day of however, even my makeup artist commented onhow i was the most relaxed bride she's ever seen. Both random and orderly panicking had served its purpose; it allowed me to feel like I had controlled everything that could be controlled and barring a tornado, nothing could throw me for a loop.

Part of being a good anxiety-driven patient is to find the most out there "what ifs" beyond what is right in front of your face. Even if I won the lottery and could afford laser eye surgery, the reason I don't is because knowing my luck, that's when there'll be a super bad earthquake. Power outages aren't a problem, but the earth shifting causing that laser to just go "eeeeeebzzzzz" off my eye onto my head is a serious concern.

(This is also a concern with permanent makeup, which I discussed with someone yesterday when I said why I wouldn't ever get tattooed eyeliner, no matter how affordable).

Plus there's also an extreme anal-retentive side to its success. The instant I have to call anyone for tech support, customer support, whatever, I immediately write down their name and the exact time of the call. Now you KNOW the odds are already stacked against you when you have to call customer support for something (especially if it's related to billing and/or fees), so it helps your cause to have the exact individual you can later blame.

Yes, 2008 will be the year where I think I shall EMBRACE my flaws...you say poe-taytoe, I say poh-tah-toem, you say flaw, I say defensive pessimism.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Letter to the editor...

Good Morning
I have book marked and rea your blog now and then. I alwayds find it interesting as a study in the pysche of a young californian feeling old; a feminine perspective on 2007 American culture; an insight into the power of the media to shape values; a psychological study of reflective/non-reflective thoght.

Your blog (and I say it with kindness) also reflects all the narcissism of our age; all the insecurities of woman; the selfish little world in which we can all incubate and from which we can view the world.

The broad range of your reading and the eclectic nature of it, suggests an amoeba, which is warm and still in a petri dish, and moves only when its' comfort is distorted or it experiences some temperature change. It is really all about you, isn't it?

The gossiping nature, critical eye, and empty interests suggest America is lost to your generation, if there are more of you then them.


Uhhh...I have no idea wtf the point of this is. But i will say..."my generation" is a generation of working people who have to deal with the knowledge that unlike our parents, we will have to fight our way through our career job after job after job with no pension plan...our generation is one that is cynical knowing that social security MIGHT be there NOT when we're 65, but 67.5...that we're effed up the A if we get sick because insurance is a complete joke...

Not sure what you mean by "lost"...lost HOW? That kind of philosophical BS is the very reason why many a Poly Sci graduate eventually realized they had to get a real job so they transferred into programs that would give them true skills. Is america really going to get lost? Will no one know what is it? Will it become, in a single generation, a useless third world country? Or is it (most likely) going to keep chugging along as it always has because this isn't f*cking Lord of the Flies?!

And may I remind you Moderator...I'm Canadian. Unless you have a fear of 30-something Canadians taking over the US, you can sleep well at night knowing your precious country is going to be the same in 5 years as it was 5 years ago.

I do have a critical eye...I don't think that's a sign of my generation, I think that's a sign of ME. I was born to criticize...if I could get paid to tell people they're doing stuff wrong then I'd be a millionaire. I have turned many a man from a self-confident warrior into a weeping pussycat.

As for "gossiping", that's purely a sign of anyone with a desk job. The day Anna Nicole Smith died, I got more emails than I did if the company CEO died. I don't think that's a bad thing...we're a generation stuck at our desks but have constant access to mass media, our own lives are boring as hell so we turn to the personal lives of entertainers to add some excitement to the part of our brains that are overworked and in dire need of fluff. Britney Spears' behavior to me is the same as Young & The Restless for the generation before us.

AND FINALLY...yeah of course it's "all about" me...that's why it's a f*cking blog. It's always all about the writer of the blog, that's why it's called Random Thoughts and Gripes (who's thoughts did you think they would be?!), if you want to read about other people go to...uh People.com. My blog is about MY thoughts.

That being said, much like Kathy Griffin, I absolutely adore feedback (both bad and good), I adore other people's viewpoints posted on my blog for a fresh perspective,so bring it on beotches! Especially now that I've got more time to post post post and make the world just a wee bit dumber as a result.

My guilty pleasure

Okay. I admit it. I ADMIT IT. I've been watching NBC's Clash of the Choirs.

To my defense, I only recorded it last night because I wanted to see Nick Lachey. Turns out, I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT and i'm not afraid to say it!

Basically the gist is that you've got 5 famous singers who get to hand pick their own choir from their hometown, compete, and the winner gets to put a boatload of dough towards some local charity.

I was positive Nick's team was gonna lose after their first performance last night...Kelly Rowland's choir did frickin' phenomenal singing George Michael's Freedom. Fer real, it gave me chills. Even doing a search for the video online today, it was clear that Kelly Rowland's choir kicked ass.

And now...here I am in front of the tv...and who got the least votes and won't be singing tonight? Team Rowland! In favor of frickin' Michael Bolton's stupid choir! (okay, they did pretty good with Living on a Prayer but still).

i'm playing the race card and saying it's because Kelly Rowland is BLACK. Do you hear me people?! America you're a bunch of racist mutha effas....how dare you not support AFRICAN AMERICAN KELLY ROWLAND!

Ummm okay well Patti LaBelle is also on the show...so maybe there's not much validity in my ranting.

**Edited to add: listening to Michael Bolton's choir right now...they sound like a bunch of cheesy karaoke singers. Grumble.

Who's yo baby daddy?

Well since it came out that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant, I think it's time someone puts the smackdown on Hollywood's baby antics.

1. Stay together at least the length of the pregnancy.
Yeah Tom Brady, I'm looking at you. K-Fed, you're guilty too don't try to creep away in that Ferrari that you bastardized with new rims. Guys, I get it...one minute you're with the hottest piece of ass in LA, next minute you've got a bloated beluga with bad acne yelling at you for not knowing what a diaper genie is...But you gotta tough it out or else you'll become your own gamekiller.

Okay you probably won't be. But you might be.

2. Don't play mum.
It seems that hollywood starlets want to keep some things private. Are you effing kidding me? You get paid NOT for your wonderful acting ability (ever hear how Hillary Swank won an Oscar but couldn't afford her prescriptions?!), you get paid because of what we think of you. WE OWN YOU. And as your boss, I'm required to know if you've had sperm penetration sans birth control. Maybe that violates labor laws, but you should have thought of that before getting violated by Mr. A-Lister.

3. Stylists work for pregnant chicks too.
This is mainly for Britney...I don't think anyone else has broken this rule. Even Nicole Richie looks adorable with whatever her stylist put together for her. And how can anyone forget how Gwen Stefani looked? You may be young, but a fetus means you can't wear fishnets, stripper heels, and anything that looks like you should be a two cent whore.

Hell, even Old Navy's pregnancy clothing is more stylish than the crap that Britney used to wear.

4. Enough with the lavish baby showers!
You're having a baby, not curing f*cking cancer. WTF kind of lesson are you teaching your bastard baby by lavishing them with overpriced blankies and pacifiers covered in bling?! It's just GAUDY. Your baby is not your excuse to be all "oh you got the deluxe edition stroller? I got the uber platinum edition, they only made ten..."...

Christina, that means you. What the hell is this, the opening of a Macy's?!


5. Most important of all...DON'T YOU PEOPLE USE BIRTH CONTROL?!
There's many a college girl who's on the pill. There's many a college dude who carries a crapload of condoms. Why? Because they have too much to lose by having spawn. In an industry that isn't forgiving of sabbaticals, stretch marks, weight gain, and all around flaws, you'd think every chick would get her tubes tied.

Jessica Alba...you're gorgeous. You're flawless. Sadly, you also can't act your way out of a paper bag ("Honey" anyone?! And don't think you got Fantastic Four 'cause of your acting chops). Sure hope you banked your previous paychecks 'cause your career is OH VEE EE ARE...

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Random thoughts for the day...

It's midnight on Saturday night...good times eating like a mofo at Carrie's dessert party.

Some very random thoughts that are going through my grey matter.

I noticed that Sandra Lee looks like an older version of Heidi Montag:


Or that Rachael Ray looks alot like an older version of Rachel Leigh Cook:


It's really quite odd to not have true seasons. Even living in Northern California, there's some distinction between say fall and winter. It's a very chick-thing, but I'm kinda depressed that I can't wear a good chunk of my sweaters. It just never gets cold enough here for the super warm and think sweaters.

Now if you're from California this probably seems retarded to you, but it's really REALLY odd to me that I have sweaters that I haven't worn since I moved here because it's just never cold enough. It's like...going through each year with something missing that you used to experience on a yearly basis...it's just ....bizarre. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.

More bitching...

Can someone please tell Rachael Ray that her show's new backdrop is ridiculously hideous? The orange cupboards and green tiles are an insult to my optometric senses. Then there's the weird filter on the camera. It's like the frame rate is slightly slower so the picture is never in focus. The worst of it all (well actually I think the frame rate is probably the worst) is that the camera dude won't just sit the eff still and shoot her normally (uh take that as you will)...it's like he's perpetually jumping around...makes me nauseous.

Just for ol' time sake...anyone remember this FHM shoot?

Girl can't be sexy even when she tries...

Tomorrow I gotta buy $500 worth of toys for this toy drive i'm in charge of...for someone who's not a fan of the holidays, I sure get suckered into alot of festive crap. Santa can suck my balls.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

We didn't start the bubble

I absolutely love this video. Kinda makes me wish I was more creative.



In other news...I'm starting to think that my love for all things teenie-bopper-ish is kinda pathetic. Last night I was ecstatic to discover that the CW posts their full-length shows online for free, so I caught up on last week's Gossip Girl...then I saw the new episode...and honest to God, i think I squealed in delight at one point.

Just sad. Sad and pathetic. My clothing options are starting to become limited now too. Sarah and I chatted the other day how great it used to be to be able to wear super cute short skirts...ummm yeah first off cellulite won't let that happen anymore, secondly even if I could I'd look like a complete moron. I saw an adorable thermal top with little bunnies on it, but there comes a point where if you're a bit older, and you're wearing stuff with animals...well then you might as well break out the Bedazzler as well.

Sigh sigh.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Stella....STELLLLLLLLAAAA...

Disclaimer: the following post is not about what a guy SHOULD know...it's about what he MUST know. And by "must know", I mean: "must know in order to date a chick so that her friends don't say dang girl, he doesn't know how to do X, Y, Z? Dump his ass". Not "must know in order to succeed in life" or something retarded like that. So yes, a guy should/must know say how to change an innertube on his non-mountain bike...but that's not exactly make-or-break criteria when it comes to dating a guy.

So Carrie found this article about 25 things every guy should know. Figured...it was time for my commentary.

1. Patch a Radiator Hose
Steam hissing from a ruptured radiator hose? Here's a relatively easy, temporary fix with duct tape.

I dont' know about that one...maybe because it's never come up in my life, so why would a dude ever need to do this? Where is the radiator hose? or maybe because I'm a chick I'm clueless about the importance of this.

2. Protect Your Computer
Viruses and spyware can unleash a host of evils upon your PC, ranging from annoying pop-ups to a zombie system takeover.


This isn't what a guy should know how to do...it's what a guy SHOULD do. And woman. I think this list needs to narrow down what a guy MUST know (which in turn is what a woman SHOULD know...but doesn't need to).

3. Rescue a Boater Who Has Capsized
When you come upon a capsized boat, approach with caution: The cause of the accident or debris in the water could render you a victim as well.


Hmmm, I guess it's good if you're with a friend...but I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he didn't know how to do this.

4. Frame a Wall
It's the basic partition — an interior, non-load-bearing wall with a door opening. Here's how to frame it, so you can divide your basement into a really useful storage area and a totally indulgent man space — say, a big-screen sports den.


I'll worry about it when I live in a place where this could be an option. If you live in a big city (i.e. where you rent), i wouldn't hold it against a guy if he didn't know how to do that.

5. Retouch Digital Photos
Some shots are too flawed to fix with a click on autocorrect. Here's how to perform surgery on digital images with nearly any photo-editing software.


I disagree. Guys dont' give a crap about how they look in pictures (well, enough to retouch it). Guys should know how to screw around with Photoshop to put their friends faces on someone else's body as a joke...but not to fix flaws. If anything, that's something we chicks should know.

6. Back Up a Trailer
If you're doing this without a spotter, put your left hand at six o'clock on the steering wheel, and drape your right hand over the seatback. As you back up, move your steering hand in the direction you want the trailer to go.


Define "trailer"...like anything with a box with wheels attached to it? Like a U-Haul or a camper thing? Yeah, dude should know how to drive one of those things. Short of flying ap lane, guys should know how to drive all other vehicles.

7. Build a Campfire

Obviously. This is a necessity. If a guy can't build fire, get rid of him. In this day and age, that means if a guy cant' figure out how to turn onthe BBQ. Call me shallow, i don't care, but I once had to show a guy how to turn on a propane BBQ and clearly his balls fell off in the process.

8. Fix a Dead Outlet
If the lamp goes out, but the bulb's not fried, it's time to check the outlet. Once you turn off the breaker, here's how to fix the usual suspects.


True dat.

9. Navigate with a Map and Compass
Though GPS may seem ubiquitous, it doesn't work everywhere. Mountains and dense tree cover can knock out sat signals — and batteries can die. Here's how to roam the backcountry with a compass and topo map.


Hmmm, this would imply that you're not near civilization. Which means you're camping. In true nature (notl ike nature where your car is right next to your tent). So if you're a chick like me and you don't care about nature, then you don't need to worry if the dude can do this.

10. Use a Torque Wrench
Using a torque wrench the wrong way leads to incorrectly tightened fasteners, which can spell trouble for your machinery.


I have no idea what a torque wrench is so I can't gauge if it's important for a guy to know how to use it. Oh wait, I looked it up:

How can you screw up using one of those things?!

11. Sharpen a Knife
A knife may be the most elemental of all human tools — but only if it's sharp.


Hmmm...yeah that sounds about right. Honing is important to knife maintenance, and using one of those sharpening tools from Target is gonna jack up yer knife. I approve.

12. Perform CPR
Most people have an idea of how to perform cardio­pulmonary resuscitation (CPR) on a person whose heart has stopped, but you may not have taken a course in years.


Another thing that's more like guys (and women) SHOULD know. Would I think less of a guy if he didn't know this? Nope. But it's definitely valuable info nonetheless.

13. Fillet a Fish
Set the scene with a flat surface and an appropriate knife — any long, thin, flexible and sharp blade will do, but for larger fish you might need a stiffer blade. Make your first cut behind the pectoral fin or gill cover, angling the tip of the knife slightly toward the head.


I can't stand fish. I don't want to be around a dude to see if he's mastered this skill. This isn't effing Iron Chef.

14. Maneuver a Car out of a Skid
Although there isn't much you can do when your car is pirouetting out of control, you can maneuver out of two basic types of skids before things get messy.


PLEASE! If you've lived anywhere with snow then this is a given. If you don't know how to do this,you'd be dead.

15. Get a Car Unstuck
When you're stuck, don't gun the engine to get out — the tires will only dig in deeper.


See #14. Or in my case, just get a boatload of people to help push.

16. Back Up Data
Don't put off backing up your files until it's too late.


Another "should do" as opposed to "must know"...this isn't a question of a dude's manliness...this is a question of his ability to think ahead, think strategically, and be responsible for his crap.

17. Paint a Room
Good paint jobs start before the first can of paint is opened.


How big of a moron are you if you can't prep and paint a room?

18. Mix Concrete
If you're going to use more than a cubic yard of concrete — a 9 x 9-ft. pad, 4 in. thick — call a Redi-Mix vendor.


I can't imagine a situation where I would need someone to mix concrete for me, unless it's for a major home renovation that involved hiring a dude to do it for me.

19. Clean a Bolt-Action Rifle

Clean a what now?!

20. Change Oil and Filter

Every 3000 miles you can commune with your car when you change the oil.


HIGHLY agree with this one. This should be #2 on the list after how to make a fire.

21. Hook Up an HDTV

Well...I have an HDTV...but I don't subscribe to it...so if it's a question of hooking up tv, obviously. How hard can it be to set up an HD receiver with a tv?

22. Bleed Brakes
When the brake pedal starts to feel spongy, it's time to bleed your brakes.


No idea what this is, but it's your brakes so it seems like it's something a dude should know how to do. However this will never come up in conversation, so trying to test a guy's knowledge on this is a bit sketchy.

23. Paddle a Canoe

Would require caring about nature.

24. Fix a Bike Flat

WRONG! This should NOT be on the list. If a guy is fixing a flat it means he's back home, and if your'e back home and you're so desperate to FIX the tire rather than buy a new one, then you've got issues that go beyond what any chick would want to deal with. And if you've got like $5000 tires on your bike...well then your name is Lance Armstrong and you and your one ball can suck it.

25. Extend Your Wireless Network
You've got a laptop that, ideally, you'd like to use anywhere in your house. But the strength of your wireless Internet fades between floors and behind thick walls.


I think anyone with a pulse should know how to do this, not just dudes.



This list is missing something VERY important: a guy NEEDS to know how to drive stick. That's a non-issue. I don't care if he'll never own a car with manual transmission...he better still know how to drive one. Or else. Or else what? Exactly.