I can't believe I forgot about Canada Day. I didn't even wear red or white or both yesterday.
I sort of feel like it's the equivalent of forgetting the date of your best friend's death. I should know it, acknowledge it, and do something in tribute that day each year.
So in honor of my special place, here's all the things I miss about Canada:
1.The fact I have to spell the above “honor” instead of “honour”, as well as “colour” and “labeling” only has one “L” here.
2.Poutine.
3.The national anthem. Not that i think it's a good national anthem, but at least I know the words. I'm willing to admit though, the US national anthem is damn catchy, it's like they got Timbaland to produce theirs whereas we got some old guy with a casio keyboard.
4.Poutine.
5.Tim Hortons.
6.More specifically, Timbits. Hell, I'll settle for a Dunkin' Doughnuts but they only have effing Krispy Kreme around here, which is the biggest bastardization of a doughnut alive.
7.Poutine.
8.Getting plum sauce to dip my fries in anywhere i go.
9.The cost of gas per liter, not per gallon.
10.Quaker muffin mix. Here the muffin mixes give you at best 6 ghetto muffins. But the paper bag situation in those Quaker brand muffin mixes, omg, you get 24 out of them and they're SO EFFING GOOD....damn i miss those.
11.I miss Shoppers Drug Mart.
12.I miss malls having a Shoppers, Pharma Plus, or whatever. They don't put those in malls here.
13.Poutine.
14.I miss being able to pick up a package and understand either side of the box (French or English). Now i'm like “no espanol por favor senior!”.
15.MuchMusic. I'm not dissing MTV...but they're not the same at ALL (even though I believe MuchMusic and Musique Plus are owned by MTV).
16.A good solid thunderstorm. Which isn't Canadian per se, but I just haven't seen one since I moved here 8 years ago. EIGHT YEARS since I've seen the crazy kind of thunderstorm that's fun to watch from a window, where it's loud, where you feel like everything inside of you is being washed away.
17.Poutine. With ketchup. From KFC.
18.Poutine. With ketchup. From Nickels.
19.Poutine. With ketchup. From Zak's.
20.Poutine. With or without ketchup. (I only acquired the ketchup taste because it was an effective method of ensuring other people would mooch and steal my poutine).
21.Speaking of KFC, i miss KFC fries. Not this stupid potato wedge nonsense they have here. FRIES. The kind meant to be slathered with cheese curds and gravy.
22.I miss going to Club Monaco and paying Canadian prices for their stuff.
23.President's Choice skim chocolate milk. It's the only place where you can get less than 2% milkfat in chocolate milk format. I remember I used to buy that stuff by the carton and chug it straight up in the parking lot. Soooo good.
24.McCain Deep N Delicious cakes.
(25 got jacked up)
26.DAMMIT i'm going to cry i want some poutine so effing bad.
27.Going to a Roots store and seeing Canadian stuff written on the apparel, not US stuff.
28.I miss Molson being truly Canadian, after I became and expat so did Molson. I miss their marketing. Do they even DO the “I AM CANADIAN” ads anymore?! They were so effective!
Which thus leads me to say, I miss the Cabin as well, naturally.
29.I miss Poutine from Minglewoods, which is right next to the Cabin.
30.I miss East Side Mario's. Just for their croutons and chicken tetrazzini.
31.I miss taking $20 cab rides. Not like the $120 cab rides to go down the street like here.
32.I do NOT miss New York Fries poutine. Their stuff sucked balls. But i miss debating with people over the merits of leaving the skin on potatoes when making fries (nasty, IMO).
33.I miss The Market.
34.I miss Le Caveau de Schezuan.
35.I miss spiders that crawl on webs and up high, unlike the spiders here that don't even make frickin' webs and crawl on ME instead....
36.Having a $2 bill/coin (yes, they have them here, but not like you're going to find 'em).
37.Poutine poutine poutine.
Damn I'm homesick for the great white north.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Don't hate the camera, hate the cameraman
I've officially decided that my camera has a Goob filter. If I didn't know me, and I saw pics of me, I'd want to punch me for being such an insubordinate Goob.
Pics from this weekend, too lazy to divide them up but at least I wrote captions. The first set are from Sat night, went to dinner in Laguna for Nicole V-now-B's birthday, the next set is for this charity fashion show thing I went to...
Shutt Yo Fly link
So i had the morning from hell, I had to take Stash to an eye specialist because he's got, for lack of a better word, a serioudly goopy eye. Which he's had for years and I didn't think much of it until the vet was all "oh, his eye could rupture". I freaked out, and drove him all the way to frickin' Tustin to see this specialist. Tustin is mutha effing FAR when you've got a cat hyperventilating and howling in your car.
Typically I can survive cats hollering at me, I'm very much of the "suck it up I'm paying serious coin so you can get better", but he was breathing so hard I was afraid he was going to pass out, so I'm hyperventilating...bad bad.
Anyway, the good news is that it's nothing crazy. He damaged a tear duct (some stuff from when he was a kitten at the shelter) and its scarred over, so his tears don't drain through his nasal passages, they just pour over his eye. They told me eventually it could lead to an ulcer, but in the grand scheme he's okay as long as I keep an eye on him. My poor baby. They kept sticking these little paper things right in his eyeball to see how fast tears would produce...it was nuts, his bad eye just soaked through the papers in a split second. ANd then he was left with blue and green ink all over his eyes for the rest of the day.
There goes $250. I swear, no one spends as much on their cats as I do. And when I got home, Stash just gave me the evil eye (HA bad pun).
Pics from this weekend, too lazy to divide them up but at least I wrote captions. The first set are from Sat night, went to dinner in Laguna for Nicole V-now-B's birthday, the next set is for this charity fashion show thing I went to...
Shutt Yo Fly link
So i had the morning from hell, I had to take Stash to an eye specialist because he's got, for lack of a better word, a serioudly goopy eye. Which he's had for years and I didn't think much of it until the vet was all "oh, his eye could rupture". I freaked out, and drove him all the way to frickin' Tustin to see this specialist. Tustin is mutha effing FAR when you've got a cat hyperventilating and howling in your car.
Typically I can survive cats hollering at me, I'm very much of the "suck it up I'm paying serious coin so you can get better", but he was breathing so hard I was afraid he was going to pass out, so I'm hyperventilating...bad bad.
Anyway, the good news is that it's nothing crazy. He damaged a tear duct (some stuff from when he was a kitten at the shelter) and its scarred over, so his tears don't drain through his nasal passages, they just pour over his eye. They told me eventually it could lead to an ulcer, but in the grand scheme he's okay as long as I keep an eye on him. My poor baby. They kept sticking these little paper things right in his eyeball to see how fast tears would produce...it was nuts, his bad eye just soaked through the papers in a split second. ANd then he was left with blue and green ink all over his eyes for the rest of the day.
There goes $250. I swear, no one spends as much on their cats as I do. And when I got home, Stash just gave me the evil eye (HA bad pun).
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thoughts for the last day in June
A few random, random thoughts for this last day of June:
1. I just realized I missed my brother's birthday. Dammit.
2. I'm seriously the clumsiest person alive. I wish i had a nickel for every time I smacked my car door on my forehead. Today, leaving PetSmart, i did it yet again. My skull probably has bizarro grooves in it as a result being whacked so many times. I once did it close to my eye, mymother insisted I had a boyfriend who was beating me. No, no, I really am just THAT clumsy.
3. Okay, NOW i think the cost of gas is starting to bug me. I held up a good fight, and tried to think that it was worse in the 1970s. But now i'm much more aware of how many times I"m gassing up, and this Excessive California Driving situation is killing my wallet's mojo.
4. Pizza Dude's pizza tastes nowhere near as good at the Z Pizza in Ladera Ranch.
5. A ton of people I know got laid off today, and layoffs = anxiety for me. Bad bad memories of going through it myself. I seriously think we've been gypped that there's been two recessions this decade. Ugh, i think I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep tonight as a result of the layoff news.
6. Carrie's going to kill me, but I haven't really been watering the flowers she's got in my backyard.
7. Why hasn't anyone invented any of the following:
a) teleportation
b) cure for cellulite (or really, MY cellulite)
c) kitty litter that requires me to never clean...EVER. The Littermaid doesn't count.
d) a better frickin' TSA system at the airport?
What are we, Amish?!
8. Humans have evolved a ton over the past few years, centuries, whatever...why does it still take 9 months to createa baby? Haven't we refined the process so its more efficient and the whole thing can be whittled down to say, 3 weeks?
9. I went to a charity even on Sunday, and I've noticed that charity dinner/brunches/meals always involve some sort of prayer. The intonation or whatever the f*ck its called. This makes my blood boil so much, it makes me NOT want to give to whatever charity i'm there for. If you think its not a big deal, imagine if you were at some charity event and Osama Bin Laden gave the little prayer. You'd be kind of freaked out and worried a lightening bolt would come down on you if you even acknowledged what he said. Sorta how i feel. Can't we separate Church and Charity?!
It's 11pm. Time to get my sleep on.
1. I just realized I missed my brother's birthday. Dammit.
2. I'm seriously the clumsiest person alive. I wish i had a nickel for every time I smacked my car door on my forehead. Today, leaving PetSmart, i did it yet again. My skull probably has bizarro grooves in it as a result being whacked so many times. I once did it close to my eye, mymother insisted I had a boyfriend who was beating me. No, no, I really am just THAT clumsy.
3. Okay, NOW i think the cost of gas is starting to bug me. I held up a good fight, and tried to think that it was worse in the 1970s. But now i'm much more aware of how many times I"m gassing up, and this Excessive California Driving situation is killing my wallet's mojo.
4. Pizza Dude's pizza tastes nowhere near as good at the Z Pizza in Ladera Ranch.
5. A ton of people I know got laid off today, and layoffs = anxiety for me. Bad bad memories of going through it myself. I seriously think we've been gypped that there's been two recessions this decade. Ugh, i think I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep tonight as a result of the layoff news.
6. Carrie's going to kill me, but I haven't really been watering the flowers she's got in my backyard.
7. Why hasn't anyone invented any of the following:
a) teleportation
b) cure for cellulite (or really, MY cellulite)
c) kitty litter that requires me to never clean...EVER. The Littermaid doesn't count.
d) a better frickin' TSA system at the airport?
What are we, Amish?!
8. Humans have evolved a ton over the past few years, centuries, whatever...why does it still take 9 months to createa baby? Haven't we refined the process so its more efficient and the whole thing can be whittled down to say, 3 weeks?
9. I went to a charity even on Sunday, and I've noticed that charity dinner/brunches/meals always involve some sort of prayer. The intonation or whatever the f*ck its called. This makes my blood boil so much, it makes me NOT want to give to whatever charity i'm there for. If you think its not a big deal, imagine if you were at some charity event and Osama Bin Laden gave the little prayer. You'd be kind of freaked out and worried a lightening bolt would come down on you if you even acknowledged what he said. Sorta how i feel. Can't we separate Church and Charity?!
It's 11pm. Time to get my sleep on.
Oh hell no! Not you Cookie Monster!
It has come to my attention (thank you Mr. Colbert) that Cookie Monster has been stuck promoting fruits instead of carbs.
WHAT
THE
FUUUUUUUUUUUHhhhhhh....
I get that we have an obesity epidemic. I get that kids weigh more now than ever before. But you do NOT eff around with my homeboy CM and his cookie agenda.
There's just some traditions that should not be broken. I dig how he never actually "ate" the cookie, but rather it just crumbled in front of Cookie Monster. I don't know about you, but cookies make me pretty nutty too. I had 2 chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and I was so giddy, it prompted other people nearby to get cookies. Damn right that kind of propaganda wouldn't have worked if I were hopping around with a frickin' apple.
WHAT
THE
FUUUUUUUUUUUHhhhhhh....
I get that we have an obesity epidemic. I get that kids weigh more now than ever before. But you do NOT eff around with my homeboy CM and his cookie agenda.
There's just some traditions that should not be broken. I dig how he never actually "ate" the cookie, but rather it just crumbled in front of Cookie Monster. I don't know about you, but cookies make me pretty nutty too. I had 2 chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and I was so giddy, it prompted other people nearby to get cookies. Damn right that kind of propaganda wouldn't have worked if I were hopping around with a frickin' apple.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Letter to the Editor
Hey where you at a place called Islands?
No, the picture post was when we were at Yard House for dinner, then Chronic Cantina to get our partayyy on. Which everyone did...Janet went home to vomit up a lung, and at 3am I was still cleaning the vomit from behind the toilet because Kraig missed.
He said that someone handed him a drink, he has no idea who, and that put him over the edge. This week I ran into an ex-coworker of mine who happened to have been at Chronic that night, and SHE was the temptress with the shot! Thanks Jill :P
In other news, yeah i know the video below is effed up on the page, i'm too lazy to resize it. Suck it.
Im also vowing to blog at LEAST once or twice a week. Speaking of vows, I suck at my NY Monthly Resolution List. I don't think I completed a single thing. And we're JUne. I think this month's goal was to read all my French books while vegging out at Lake MV. So much for that.
In case anyone needs an entertainment fix, here's the abridged version:
Get Smart: I would lick Steve Carrell's balls, so I'm a little biased towards anything he does. That being said, this movie was pretty bad. Once you week out the pratfalls and wisecracks, you're stuck wondering wtf is going on with the plot. They're going to Russia to check what now? And why are they in that dude's house? Oh it's an excuse to do that laser alarm scene. Gotcha.
Swingtown This show is easily becoming my Gossip Girls for the summer. I adore the retro clothing and stuff, I love that Grant Show (from Melrose Place) has a porn star mustache....it's a delightfully tacky show. And yeah, it's about a couple that moves into a neighborhood and gets sucked into swinging courtesy of Mr. Porn 'Stache.
America's Best Dance Crew 2 Randy Jackson, I hate you...but I love you. You make me even like Mario Lopez (who, I have to admit, is at least a genius with his career...he's even more successful than Tiffany Amber Thiesson, whatever spelling). I miss my Gr8 Sk8 crew, and Jabawockees, but these teams are shaping up to "bring on yo A-game, this is Season Two y'all, but i respect what y'all ahh doin'"...
Kah-Toe-Mahh-Tayyyyy!
No, the picture post was when we were at Yard House for dinner, then Chronic Cantina to get our partayyy on. Which everyone did...Janet went home to vomit up a lung, and at 3am I was still cleaning the vomit from behind the toilet because Kraig missed.
He said that someone handed him a drink, he has no idea who, and that put him over the edge. This week I ran into an ex-coworker of mine who happened to have been at Chronic that night, and SHE was the temptress with the shot! Thanks Jill :P
In other news, yeah i know the video below is effed up on the page, i'm too lazy to resize it. Suck it.
Im also vowing to blog at LEAST once or twice a week. Speaking of vows, I suck at my NY Monthly Resolution List. I don't think I completed a single thing. And we're JUne. I think this month's goal was to read all my French books while vegging out at Lake MV. So much for that.
In case anyone needs an entertainment fix, here's the abridged version:
Get Smart: I would lick Steve Carrell's balls, so I'm a little biased towards anything he does. That being said, this movie was pretty bad. Once you week out the pratfalls and wisecracks, you're stuck wondering wtf is going on with the plot. They're going to Russia to check what now? And why are they in that dude's house? Oh it's an excuse to do that laser alarm scene. Gotcha.
Swingtown This show is easily becoming my Gossip Girls for the summer. I adore the retro clothing and stuff, I love that Grant Show (from Melrose Place) has a porn star mustache....it's a delightfully tacky show. And yeah, it's about a couple that moves into a neighborhood and gets sucked into swinging courtesy of Mr. Porn 'Stache.
America's Best Dance Crew 2 Randy Jackson, I hate you...but I love you. You make me even like Mario Lopez (who, I have to admit, is at least a genius with his career...he's even more successful than Tiffany Amber Thiesson, whatever spelling). I miss my Gr8 Sk8 crew, and Jabawockees, but these teams are shaping up to "bring on yo A-game, this is Season Two y'all, but i respect what y'all ahh doin'"...
Kah-Toe-Mahh-Tayyyyy!
My niece kicks ass
Check out my niece...she's frickin' gorgeous. And it helps that she looks IDENTICAL to how i looked (and sounded) at that age.
Online Videos by Veoh.com
Online Videos by Veoh.com
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Picture post...
Here's a link to pics from last night, for anyone who might be bored enough to go through them...my friend Janet just ran a marathon, is moving to Santa Barbara, and had a birthday all within the same 2 week period...
Shutterfly bitches!
Also fyi to anyone reading this from Facebook: just go straight to the source, Blogger link.
Shutterfly bitches!
Also fyi to anyone reading this from Facebook: just go straight to the source, Blogger link.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
That's right bitches!
Yeahhhh...take a look at the bottom of the page to the HELOC paydown...three digits! The goal was to pay down $15k in 2007, and it's almost done.
Not that it makes a diff...this was the recommendation of Countrywide last year (to pay down $30k of my home equity loan before the rest of the loan is set to switch over at the end of 2009, i.e: pay down 15k per year for two years). Realistically, I think I'd need to pay down another $70k if I had to refinance tomorrow.
So seriously, please...just everyone foreclose already! Get it over with! Let's get the worst of it over with.
In other news, I switched jobs again. As usual, not going to post details here but if you want to know the scoop, email me. If you don't know my email, then GOOD...I don't want no stalkers anyway!
A few seriously random thoughts:
- hummus from Daphne's is like magic in my mouth. It's mouth porn.
- I can't WAIT for the next iteration of America's Best Dance Crew. The last round was absolutely incredible.
- Diet Pepsi trumps Diet Coke all the way
- I'm so annoyed that Barrack Obama hand bumping his wife is actually considered a news-worthy story
- I fantasize on so many levels how much things would be better if I just won a $100k lottery. That's it. That's all I need. I'd LIKE more, but beggers can't be choosers, and $100k after taxes would be wonderful.
- I think I found a grey hair today. I was FREAKING out. I'm going to play ignorant until this weekend, then I'm going to go on a rampage. Getting grey hair is a million times worse than a wrinkle...it's like finding out you're in menopause. But at least menopause isn't displayed all over your scalp for the whole world to see how old you are.
Going to take a nap now. I actually get home at a decent time now where I can nap! Justin can bring sexy back, but I'm bringing napping back!
Not that it makes a diff...this was the recommendation of Countrywide last year (to pay down $30k of my home equity loan before the rest of the loan is set to switch over at the end of 2009, i.e: pay down 15k per year for two years). Realistically, I think I'd need to pay down another $70k if I had to refinance tomorrow.
So seriously, please...just everyone foreclose already! Get it over with! Let's get the worst of it over with.
In other news, I switched jobs again. As usual, not going to post details here but if you want to know the scoop, email me. If you don't know my email, then GOOD...I don't want no stalkers anyway!
A few seriously random thoughts:
- hummus from Daphne's is like magic in my mouth. It's mouth porn.
- I can't WAIT for the next iteration of America's Best Dance Crew. The last round was absolutely incredible.
- Diet Pepsi trumps Diet Coke all the way
- I'm so annoyed that Barrack Obama hand bumping his wife is actually considered a news-worthy story
- I fantasize on so many levels how much things would be better if I just won a $100k lottery. That's it. That's all I need. I'd LIKE more, but beggers can't be choosers, and $100k after taxes would be wonderful.
- I think I found a grey hair today. I was FREAKING out. I'm going to play ignorant until this weekend, then I'm going to go on a rampage. Getting grey hair is a million times worse than a wrinkle...it's like finding out you're in menopause. But at least menopause isn't displayed all over your scalp for the whole world to see how old you are.
Going to take a nap now. I actually get home at a decent time now where I can nap! Justin can bring sexy back, but I'm bringing napping back!
Monday, June 02, 2008
Letter to Us Weekly
Dear writers, editors, and other staff at US Weekly:
Let me begin to say that I highly enjoy your literary piece of fluff. I prefer it over People, which to me has too many stories about "real" people (if I wanted to read about a cancer kid who raised money and helped others, I'd read Newsweek. I read gossip mags to read about all that is evil and vapid about the world). For awhile it was the highlight of my week, getting your issue in the mail and waiting to read it at the gym, going page-by-ad-laden-page.
I'm okay when you guys go directly to the source instead of running off the gossip mill. I was okay when you had numerous articles about Jessica and Nick (how the tales of marriages woes were untrue. Hey, we all knew they were denying like mad).
What I do take issue with (ha ha bad pun) is when you cover stories about reality shows like The Hills. Unless you're discussing LC's fashion line, her alleged sex tape, or when the new season will start, I don't want to read it.
Let's make something very clear: the audience, whether 12 or 112, knows its scripted. So your cover stories about "The Plot To Destroy Lauren" are as much of an insult to your readers as a cover saying "Lynette battles cancer while Bree makes muffins" or "Kate's love triange: Sawyer speaks out". There is no plot to destroy Lauren. Heidi does not have heartache. Heidi speaks out "Why I called off my wedding" is very clear: the show told me to.
Let's go over last week's issue: Heidi Asks For a Ring: I'm Ready to Say I Do! Are you effing kidding me?! In case you didn't notice, throughout this season outside of the realm of MTV we have seen Spencer and Heidi pose shamelessly for the paparazzi, canoodling like mad. Were we really supposed to believe they broke up? And funny how nowhere in the show while there's all this alleged drama, MTV never showed them film via handycam Heidi's ghetto video. Nay, it's pretty safe to say that nothing on The Hills is a reflection of their true life, unless you want to factor in bathing and drinking.
So in case I haven't made it clear to you US Weekly, let me spell it out: IT'S NOT REAL. It's not even ALLEGEDLY real (hey, that's why we buy your mags. For the possibility of it being real). If I want a make-believe plotline, I'll read Soap Opera Digest.
Do you need more help? Let's go through this:
Heidi and LC were friends (allegedly true)
LC and Speidi get in a fight (sure, good enough for me, it's still season 1)
Speidi is no longer a part of LC's life, so Speidi must come up with a reason to be entertaining to be a part of The Hills (now we start entering "make believe" land)
Spencer proposes to Heidi (scripted)
Heidi says yes (scripted to match the fake ring)
Spencer and Heidi have drama (scripted)
repeat above line a few times
oh no, they have no interaction with LC, how to still be a part of the hills?
Spencer's sister (aka She-Pratt) attends LC's fashion class (scripted)
Spencer is SOOOO angry against She-Pratt. (scripted)
Heidi is soooo angry against She-Pratt (scripted)
Spencer gets back together with Heidi. (scripted)
Heidi is ready to get married (scripted)
Do you notice all the SCRIPTEDs above?! THe best part was when Spencer moved in with She-Pratt...it was like an episode of Three's Company, I was ready for the landlord with the flowery neckties to show up and think Spencer was gay. ("Come and knock on our door...")
So i plead with you...stop airing articles from a scripted show if it's about the plotline (marriage? no. new fashion line? yes.) and please, PLEASE stop showing pictures from their "romantic" vacation...they're so staged they might as well have a set designer and list of all poses required for each photoshoot.
Sincerely,
A devoted US Weekly reader that doesn't want to be insulted anymore with your unreal stories. I like my tales to have "alleged" in front of the headlines.
Let me begin to say that I highly enjoy your literary piece of fluff. I prefer it over People, which to me has too many stories about "real" people (if I wanted to read about a cancer kid who raised money and helped others, I'd read Newsweek. I read gossip mags to read about all that is evil and vapid about the world). For awhile it was the highlight of my week, getting your issue in the mail and waiting to read it at the gym, going page-by-ad-laden-page.
I'm okay when you guys go directly to the source instead of running off the gossip mill. I was okay when you had numerous articles about Jessica and Nick (how the tales of marriages woes were untrue. Hey, we all knew they were denying like mad).
What I do take issue with (ha ha bad pun) is when you cover stories about reality shows like The Hills. Unless you're discussing LC's fashion line, her alleged sex tape, or when the new season will start, I don't want to read it.
Let's make something very clear: the audience, whether 12 or 112, knows its scripted. So your cover stories about "The Plot To Destroy Lauren" are as much of an insult to your readers as a cover saying "Lynette battles cancer while Bree makes muffins" or "Kate's love triange: Sawyer speaks out". There is no plot to destroy Lauren. Heidi does not have heartache. Heidi speaks out "Why I called off my wedding" is very clear: the show told me to.
Let's go over last week's issue: Heidi Asks For a Ring: I'm Ready to Say I Do! Are you effing kidding me?! In case you didn't notice, throughout this season outside of the realm of MTV we have seen Spencer and Heidi pose shamelessly for the paparazzi, canoodling like mad. Were we really supposed to believe they broke up? And funny how nowhere in the show while there's all this alleged drama, MTV never showed them film via handycam Heidi's ghetto video. Nay, it's pretty safe to say that nothing on The Hills is a reflection of their true life, unless you want to factor in bathing and drinking.
So in case I haven't made it clear to you US Weekly, let me spell it out: IT'S NOT REAL. It's not even ALLEGEDLY real (hey, that's why we buy your mags. For the possibility of it being real). If I want a make-believe plotline, I'll read Soap Opera Digest.
Do you need more help? Let's go through this:
Heidi and LC were friends (allegedly true)
LC and Speidi get in a fight (sure, good enough for me, it's still season 1)
Speidi is no longer a part of LC's life, so Speidi must come up with a reason to be entertaining to be a part of The Hills (now we start entering "make believe" land)
Spencer proposes to Heidi (scripted)
Heidi says yes (scripted to match the fake ring)
Spencer and Heidi have drama (scripted)
repeat above line a few times
oh no, they have no interaction with LC, how to still be a part of the hills?
Spencer's sister (aka She-Pratt) attends LC's fashion class (scripted)
Spencer is SOOOO angry against She-Pratt. (scripted)
Heidi is soooo angry against She-Pratt (scripted)
Spencer gets back together with Heidi. (scripted)
Heidi is ready to get married (scripted)
Do you notice all the SCRIPTEDs above?! THe best part was when Spencer moved in with She-Pratt...it was like an episode of Three's Company, I was ready for the landlord with the flowery neckties to show up and think Spencer was gay. ("Come and knock on our door...")
So i plead with you...stop airing articles from a scripted show if it's about the plotline (marriage? no. new fashion line? yes.) and please, PLEASE stop showing pictures from their "romantic" vacation...they're so staged they might as well have a set designer and list of all poses required for each photoshoot.
Sincerely,
A devoted US Weekly reader that doesn't want to be insulted anymore with your unreal stories. I like my tales to have "alleged" in front of the headlines.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Scariest corporate mascots
I'm copping out by just linking to another article, but if you don't have time to read the whole thing at the very least read the very first item (#7) and watch the Jolly Green Giant commercial circa 19-something-before-color-tv...scary crap man!
top 7 most terrifying corporate mascots of all time
top 7 most terrifying corporate mascots of all time
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Long time no post...
I've got ALOT of crap in my head, with no time or energy to write. Sorry. Suck it.
Just wanted to post one of the funniest convos I've had in awhile, courtesy of Carrie (while discussing the drones who work for the TSA):
me: "Don't hate the playa, hate the game"
Carrie: "I hate the player AND the game!"
Just wanted to post one of the funniest convos I've had in awhile, courtesy of Carrie (while discussing the drones who work for the TSA):
me: "Don't hate the playa, hate the game"
Carrie: "I hate the player AND the game!"
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Yo...help a sistah out...
My friend Janet needs to get another $400 for her marathon...donate some money and get some good karma (and a nice email from her) in return...
http://www.active.com/donate/tntors/JPudelko
http://www.active.com/donate/tntors/JPudelko
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Movie Review: Alpha Dog
Yeah, I watched two movies this weekend. Well actually 3, I finally saw "Airplane!" which yes, i've never seen. Suck it.
Alpha Dog, in a nutshell, is a f*cked up movie.
That's it. That's all I gotta say really. Oh it also features Ben Foster, who I noted in my previous post plays nutty/psycho guy REALLY well.
Another movie I'd recommend, if you're in the mood for gratuitous drug use, smoking, swearing, nudity, and sweaty guys freaking out with guns in their hands wiping goo off their faces. And seriously I do recommend it. I liked it.
Alpha Dog, in a nutshell, is a f*cked up movie.
That's it. That's all I gotta say really. Oh it also features Ben Foster, who I noted in my previous post plays nutty/psycho guy REALLY well.
Another movie I'd recommend, if you're in the mood for gratuitous drug use, smoking, swearing, nudity, and sweaty guys freaking out with guns in their hands wiping goo off their faces. And seriously I do recommend it. I liked it.
Movie Review: 3:10 to Yuma
As usual, I need to start this movie review with a disclaimer:
I can't stand westerns. I really, really can't stand them. And it's for the most retarded of reasons: I can't tell anyone apart. Somehow the yellow cast of the filming with the brown/yellow dirty clothes and cowboy hats makes it so that I can't tell who's who unless it happens to be someone pretty famous. So if I'm watching an older Western, forget it: other than Clint Eastwood I won't know who's the bad guy vs. the good guy.
And all that "I reckon" talk just pops a big ol' question mark over my head.
That being said, "3:10 to Yuma" has enough famous people in it for me to tell the difference. One of the true stars of the movie is Ben Foster. That dude plays crazy REALLY well. He recently was on My Name is Earl as the nutty guy who Earl's afraid of in jail. He played another nutty druggie guy in Alpha Dog. Ben Foster plays nutty so well, I fail to believe he's actually a normal dude in real life; if I saw him in the grocery store I'd run out of that Albertsons clutching my purse.
The concept is pretty good: good guy must get bad guy to a train heading to prison at 3:10...while a billion badasses are trying to kill you to get their bad guy leader back. Christian Bale is a big favorite of mine (he did American Psycho soooo well, and I had intended on hating him before I even saw the movie because I fell in love with the character from the book), but he really does do a fantastic job in the movie.
I actually would recommend this flick if you want to mix it up a little, get your violence on, and root for the good AND bad guys.
I can't stand westerns. I really, really can't stand them. And it's for the most retarded of reasons: I can't tell anyone apart. Somehow the yellow cast of the filming with the brown/yellow dirty clothes and cowboy hats makes it so that I can't tell who's who unless it happens to be someone pretty famous. So if I'm watching an older Western, forget it: other than Clint Eastwood I won't know who's the bad guy vs. the good guy.
And all that "I reckon" talk just pops a big ol' question mark over my head.
That being said, "3:10 to Yuma" has enough famous people in it for me to tell the difference. One of the true stars of the movie is Ben Foster. That dude plays crazy REALLY well. He recently was on My Name is Earl as the nutty guy who Earl's afraid of in jail. He played another nutty druggie guy in Alpha Dog. Ben Foster plays nutty so well, I fail to believe he's actually a normal dude in real life; if I saw him in the grocery store I'd run out of that Albertsons clutching my purse.
The concept is pretty good: good guy must get bad guy to a train heading to prison at 3:10...while a billion badasses are trying to kill you to get their bad guy leader back. Christian Bale is a big favorite of mine (he did American Psycho soooo well, and I had intended on hating him before I even saw the movie because I fell in love with the character from the book), but he really does do a fantastic job in the movie.
I actually would recommend this flick if you want to mix it up a little, get your violence on, and root for the good AND bad guys.
Smo fo buttah layin' to the bone, jackin' me up...tightly!
Once again I'm in one of those modes where I don't feel like anything I'm thinking about is worth typing, let alone worth it for anyone reading.
We're back to ANOTHER round of home improvement woes, today's problem: the garbage disposal is leaking. Now the problem with leaks is that they go relatively unnoticed until weeks later, you run the water for a long time, and you finally see a pile of water at your feet. By then the stuff in your cupboard, and the cupboards themselves, are slimy wet. In the case of the garbage disposal...well you can imagine the beauty that comes out of that sucker.
Typically I call Saddleback Plumbing. Why? Because they're the only ones I can think of because they spam me with so many $12 coupons (excellent marketing on their part). But today I thought of the Mike Diamond commercials ("we guarantee our plumbers will be on time and smell good"). Their customer service is fantastic, the only problem is that they couldn't get anyone in today. That means I now have to argue like crazy to have them come after 6pm during the week, or tough it out till next week (the most likely solution). Blegh. Home ownership blows for the most part.
Then again, so does renting. I just need to find a cardboard box and pimp it out.
To change topics...
Some people have a life slogan, other people have something they'd want written on their headstone...I may have found my little "quote of the day", as written to Kelly and Erica the other day (the topic: Spencer Pratt actually being correct in an argument against Heidi Montag).
I dig it. 'Cause as much as we all love to hate him...he's right. And I love it when people we hate are right. Like, if Hitler was preaching about spaying/neutering your pets, I'd be in heaven.
Maybe i'll put that on a tshirt.
We're back to ANOTHER round of home improvement woes, today's problem: the garbage disposal is leaking. Now the problem with leaks is that they go relatively unnoticed until weeks later, you run the water for a long time, and you finally see a pile of water at your feet. By then the stuff in your cupboard, and the cupboards themselves, are slimy wet. In the case of the garbage disposal...well you can imagine the beauty that comes out of that sucker.
Typically I call Saddleback Plumbing. Why? Because they're the only ones I can think of because they spam me with so many $12 coupons (excellent marketing on their part). But today I thought of the Mike Diamond commercials ("we guarantee our plumbers will be on time and smell good"). Their customer service is fantastic, the only problem is that they couldn't get anyone in today. That means I now have to argue like crazy to have them come after 6pm during the week, or tough it out till next week (the most likely solution). Blegh. Home ownership blows for the most part.
Then again, so does renting. I just need to find a cardboard box and pimp it out.
To change topics...
Some people have a life slogan, other people have something they'd want written on their headstone...I may have found my little "quote of the day", as written to Kelly and Erica the other day (the topic: Spencer Pratt actually being correct in an argument against Heidi Montag).
I dig it. 'Cause as much as we all love to hate him...he's right. And I love it when people we hate are right. Like, if Hitler was preaching about spaying/neutering your pets, I'd be in heaven.
Maybe i'll put that on a tshirt.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Why I want to stab my eyes...
I went to a software project estimation thing today (yeah, on a Saturday...at 8am...up in Long Beach...), and driving back I was forced to see a sight that i'd like to forget, if only someone can figure out how to suck the memory out through my ear canal.
Picture it:
I'm driving along my merry way, pretty tired 'cause I woke up at 6am, driving in the right lane 'cause I'm getting on my exit...
All the cars are slowed to a crawl, which doesn't phase me much 'cause my exit somehow manages to be some bizarro traffic zone (it's the same spot where those 3 kids from Ladera Rach died in a single accident last year).
Low and behold, the reason why all the cars are driving at the speed of lard: an SUV is parked on the side of the road, and a woman is outside of it...bare assed...URINATING.
Urinating ALOT. Like a dog (except she was peeing more like my cats do). Thing is, I was so tired i wasn't really thinking and I was wondering what this woman was doing (like did she lose something on the ground...was she puking...wtf was she going) until I realize I'm staring at her bare ugly ass and the liquid coming out of her.
Bare asses when not on set (i.e. covered with makeup or airbrushed) are NASTY looking.
And since we were driving so slow, I was forced to see this scene for a second longer than I would have LIKED to (it's not like you can close your eyes while driving).
I'm terrified that my brain won't forget that image, and that this awful sight will take the spot where a wonderful memory once was.
Picture it:
I'm driving along my merry way, pretty tired 'cause I woke up at 6am, driving in the right lane 'cause I'm getting on my exit...
All the cars are slowed to a crawl, which doesn't phase me much 'cause my exit somehow manages to be some bizarro traffic zone (it's the same spot where those 3 kids from Ladera Rach died in a single accident last year).
Low and behold, the reason why all the cars are driving at the speed of lard: an SUV is parked on the side of the road, and a woman is outside of it...bare assed...URINATING.
Urinating ALOT. Like a dog (except she was peeing more like my cats do). Thing is, I was so tired i wasn't really thinking and I was wondering what this woman was doing (like did she lose something on the ground...was she puking...wtf was she going) until I realize I'm staring at her bare ugly ass and the liquid coming out of her.
Bare asses when not on set (i.e. covered with makeup or airbrushed) are NASTY looking.
And since we were driving so slow, I was forced to see this scene for a second longer than I would have LIKED to (it's not like you can close your eyes while driving).
I'm terrified that my brain won't forget that image, and that this awful sight will take the spot where a wonderful memory once was.
Best of craigslist...
I rarely go through the Best of Craigslist, mostly 'cause it's a time suck and because after awhile I become mentally unphased by anything i read.
However I came across this Best Of entry and can't stop laughing.
Item #5 may very well be the most hilarious thing ever written...ever:
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja.
I don't know why I can't stop laughing.
However I came across this Best Of entry and can't stop laughing.
Item #5 may very well be the most hilarious thing ever written...ever:
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja.
I don't know why I can't stop laughing.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Movie Review: August Rush
Review of August Rush, starring Felicity and the dude from Bend it Like Beckham.
I only added this to my Netflix queue 'cause Season 2 of The Tudors isn't out on DVD yet and I needed another Jonathan Rhys-Myers fix.
The music is very good, Robin Williams is creepy, Jonathan RM is crazy hot even though he really should just keep his mouth shut...and Keri Russell does the EXACT same stupid mouth thing that makes me dislike Scarlett Johanson.
That half-open pout that denotes wonder and awe. Can't stand it. Anyway, I liked Felicity so I'll cut her some slack.
What rating out of ten would I give this movie? Whatever review you'd give a movie that you would watch on tv if it's 3am and you can't get to sleep. Or if you've got a hard-on for Jonathan Rhys-Myers playing a rocker-turned-San-Francisco-Executive.
I only added this to my Netflix queue 'cause Season 2 of The Tudors isn't out on DVD yet and I needed another Jonathan Rhys-Myers fix.
The music is very good, Robin Williams is creepy, Jonathan RM is crazy hot even though he really should just keep his mouth shut...and Keri Russell does the EXACT same stupid mouth thing that makes me dislike Scarlett Johanson.
That half-open pout that denotes wonder and awe. Can't stand it. Anyway, I liked Felicity so I'll cut her some slack.
What rating out of ten would I give this movie? Whatever review you'd give a movie that you would watch on tv if it's 3am and you can't get to sleep. Or if you've got a hard-on for Jonathan Rhys-Myers playing a rocker-turned-San-Francisco-Executive.
Prelim review: Carbonite
So I'm sure in my random bitching I've demonstrated the bad luck with computers Kraig and I have had the past few months. (NOt to be confused with the plumbing problems, which surprise surprise, the knob shower situation is jacked up again and we're showering in the cats bathroom once more..but that's another blog for another time)...
I had researched external CD/DVD burners (because part of the computer problems I've had is having internal burners not working...better off having an external one that won't be impacted by internal issues)...I definitely wasn't going to go with an external hard drive after the WD MyBook fiasco as well. Anyway, yadda yadda, I decided maybe Carbonite would be the ultimate way to go, just effing pay someone else to deal with my problem.
So here's my review so far...
You can a free one month trial, so thumbs-up for the cost factor so far (sort of hard to complain when worst case, you get what you pay for**). Initially you select the file or folder you want to back up, right click, then select Carbonite-->Back Up This File.
**side note: now logic would tell you that you don't pay anything for spyware or viruses, so that's not the worst case. However I would argue that someone else using your computer for malicious purposes is more like, THEY should be paying YOU...and since they're not, then that's NEGATIVE money which is even worse. So worst case with something like Carbonite is that it doesn't work...they didn't benefit from you, you didn't benefit from them.
After that Carbonite just runs in the background backing up the files, and alerts you with a little green icon when it's all done. They warn you that initially it'll take a boatload of time, and then after that as you modify files it just automatically backs up, no action needed.
Now I didn't truly take the time to assess their fine print. Online reviews warned me that you have to manually push video files (since I have zero video files on the computer in question, I didn't care). Same for executables (once again, not something I was worried about). The problem? I didn't note how you also had to manually push files over 4k in size.
I have a gazillion mp3s from my Napster days, and almost all are over 4k in size each. So here I was all happy thinking my files had finally been updated, a little ghetto green dot was placed on the mp3 folder indicating my files had been uploaded...and then I realized that it had only uploaded small playlist files.
So there was my dilemma...was I going to right-click and manually push each and every one of those mp3s? Well the moron that I am actually attempted to this, and realized that the RIAA was going to find me long before I actually finished up.
In my infinite wisdom, I decided the way to go would be to zip a given music folder, and the push the single zip file.
Riiggght. Did I mention that this was at like 2am on Saturday night? Did I mention that this is for the older computer that we used because the "good" PC's hard drive went dead, and now it's fixed but contains no personal files?
Zipping A music folder containing a zillion files over 4k each, let alone MANY folders, on a computer that moves at the speed of molasses combined with the stress of Carbonite running in the background made for a painful, PAINFUL process.
Well that's pretty much all I can review so far. The trial runs out in 2 weeks, so eventually I'll get off my fat ass to nag at my husband to carry the "good" PC upstairs so we can try the next phase: Operation Copy My Music Back To Me.
I had researched external CD/DVD burners (because part of the computer problems I've had is having internal burners not working...better off having an external one that won't be impacted by internal issues)...I definitely wasn't going to go with an external hard drive after the WD MyBook fiasco as well. Anyway, yadda yadda, I decided maybe Carbonite would be the ultimate way to go, just effing pay someone else to deal with my problem.
So here's my review so far...
You can a free one month trial, so thumbs-up for the cost factor so far (sort of hard to complain when worst case, you get what you pay for**). Initially you select the file or folder you want to back up, right click, then select Carbonite-->Back Up This File.
**side note: now logic would tell you that you don't pay anything for spyware or viruses, so that's not the worst case. However I would argue that someone else using your computer for malicious purposes is more like, THEY should be paying YOU...and since they're not, then that's NEGATIVE money which is even worse. So worst case with something like Carbonite is that it doesn't work...they didn't benefit from you, you didn't benefit from them.
After that Carbonite just runs in the background backing up the files, and alerts you with a little green icon when it's all done. They warn you that initially it'll take a boatload of time, and then after that as you modify files it just automatically backs up, no action needed.
Now I didn't truly take the time to assess their fine print. Online reviews warned me that you have to manually push video files (since I have zero video files on the computer in question, I didn't care). Same for executables (once again, not something I was worried about). The problem? I didn't note how you also had to manually push files over 4k in size.
I have a gazillion mp3s from my Napster days, and almost all are over 4k in size each. So here I was all happy thinking my files had finally been updated, a little ghetto green dot was placed on the mp3 folder indicating my files had been uploaded...and then I realized that it had only uploaded small playlist files.
So there was my dilemma...was I going to right-click and manually push each and every one of those mp3s? Well the moron that I am actually attempted to this, and realized that the RIAA was going to find me long before I actually finished up.
In my infinite wisdom, I decided the way to go would be to zip a given music folder, and the push the single zip file.
Riiggght. Did I mention that this was at like 2am on Saturday night? Did I mention that this is for the older computer that we used because the "good" PC's hard drive went dead, and now it's fixed but contains no personal files?
Zipping A music folder containing a zillion files over 4k each, let alone MANY folders, on a computer that moves at the speed of molasses combined with the stress of Carbonite running in the background made for a painful, PAINFUL process.
Well that's pretty much all I can review so far. The trial runs out in 2 weeks, so eventually I'll get off my fat ass to nag at my husband to carry the "good" PC upstairs so we can try the next phase: Operation Copy My Music Back To Me.
Imaginationland....
So i have to give serious props to Matt and Trey...of South Park, naturally. Tonight's Major Boobage episode was effing awesome...and I've never even seen Heavy Metal, the movie this episodes parodies.
Let's do a recap of times South Park has mimicked other animation styles:
(in no particular order):
1. Make Love, not Warcraft
This was more genius than funny, although Kenny wanting to play Hello Kitty Island Adventure still busts me up every time.
2. Simpsons Did It
I love love LOVE the Simpsons, so combining my two favorite adult cartoons is like pure heaven.
3. Family Guy...
I don't remember the name of the episode, but it was the one where Cartman tries to stop Family Guy from airing an image of Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). Since I'm not a huge Family Guy fan, I respect Cartman's auth-o-ri-teyyy .
A side note: for some reason as much as I don't like Family Guy, I actually really like American Dad.
4. Fun With Weapons
I don't care so much for the animation of this episode, however it's one of my favorites just because Butters takes a chinese star right in the eye. It's awesome.
5. Major Boobage
I couldn't find any pics online yet (since it just aired this evening), so here's a small clip from SouthPark.com
Only one more week to wait for another episode...tonight's compensated for the depressing Britney episode from last week...don't be makin' me feel guilty 'cause I'm Britney-obsessed like everyone else....
Let's do a recap of times South Park has mimicked other animation styles:
(in no particular order):
1. Make Love, not Warcraft
This was more genius than funny, although Kenny wanting to play Hello Kitty Island Adventure still busts me up every time.
2. Simpsons Did It
I love love LOVE the Simpsons, so combining my two favorite adult cartoons is like pure heaven.
3. Family Guy...
I don't remember the name of the episode, but it was the one where Cartman tries to stop Family Guy from airing an image of Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). Since I'm not a huge Family Guy fan, I respect Cartman's auth-o-ri-teyyy .
A side note: for some reason as much as I don't like Family Guy, I actually really like American Dad.
4. Fun With Weapons
I don't care so much for the animation of this episode, however it's one of my favorites just because Butters takes a chinese star right in the eye. It's awesome.
5. Major Boobage
I couldn't find any pics online yet (since it just aired this evening), so here's a small clip from SouthPark.com
Only one more week to wait for another episode...tonight's compensated for the depressing Britney episode from last week...don't be makin' me feel guilty 'cause I'm Britney-obsessed like everyone else....
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