"I'm trying to be more refined this year, anyway, I'm not sure the best way to cup the nuts during a B.J....."
It's a tough decision every female must make!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The Denver Crips
I don't know what it is about James Blunt, but there's something his face that I find captivating.
So let's get down to business...
1. American Idol
Quite truthfully, I hate this show. I only watch it when Kraig's watching it, and last night the way we had both TVs going with the DVRs, I didn't have much choice. To me it's nothing more than a flashy karaoke bar show. Now don't get me wrong...I dig the tall guy with the long hair (he reminds me of Smith from SATC)...and i REALLY like the bald guy, Chris....but wtf the judges are so retarded (If I hear the word "dawg" one more time, I'll stab either myself or the tv)....
PLUS...I hate that American Idol theme song. They play it ALL the frickin' time, i'd rather hear the drilling of a root canal.
2.America's Next Top Model
So they had a "where are they now" episode last night (got DVRed, I didn't see the whole thing)...all I gotta say is....DAMN I LOVE THAT SHOW. It's nowhere near as good without Janice Dickinson, but I'll take what I can get. There is nothing, NOTHING better than a show that is based purely on fluff. I love it.
3. Real World - Key West
I would just die to look like Svetlana (the Russian chick)....she's gorgeous and big-boobed...what more do you need in life? And when you've got looks and a body like that, you can be uber annoying...just like she is. But the annoying pretty girls always get their way, and I'm sure she does too. I wanna be that way! WTF!
And okay...I'll admit it. I dig the meat-head from this season. Normally I don't, but this frat boy...ohhh I dig him. Maybe it's his excessive arrogance. Maybe it's that he's definitely the Alpha Male. But what it probably is is that he brought his Inflatable Doll with him...and that's effing hilarious. Plus he's cute as hell.
That's my confession. He's super unlikeable, and yet, I wouldn't kick him out of my bed....
In other news, that Janelle girl works for MAC in San Jose....which means she works at the same location that Kraig's ex-girlfriend worked at. Good times.
is it bad that I laughed my ass off at a South Park rerun where Christopher Reeves was ripping fetuses' heads off and drinking their blood?
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Narcisism at it's best
Your senior year in High School is supposed to be
"The best year of your life."
Let's see how much you remember:
Year: 1996
1. Who was your best friend?
Geezus...Stacey, Erin, Katie, Christine, Sylvia, Bryan..."Immediate Family" we used to say....plus Jensen, Wendy, Ryan, Andrew, "Jeffy"....sigh my boy Anthony....
2. What sports did you play?
Uh...i played Girl's Touch Football in grade 9....
3. What kind of car did you drive?
My parents' Camry or my brother's crappy Mazda 323 (I'm sure CHris still remembers the license plates)....
4. It's Friday night, where were you at?
One of two places....either at the movies (Cineplex Odeon by Place lol) or in Hull getting my AuZone drinking/clubbing groove on....or a Daiglefest :P
5. Were you a party animal?
I was becoming one....
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"?
In grade 9, we were the coolest of the losers. By OAC/Grade 13, we were the Losers of the Cool People.
7. Ever skip school?
The beauty of being a nerd is that you can skip classes because teachers actually think you didn't want to miss class. I used Tom's death as an excuse...and then my dad's heart attack ("Miss....i have to take my dad for his physical..."...riiighhhttt...)
8. Ever smoke?
Uh, once in high school....a few more since then.
9. Were you a nerd?
When you argue with your teacher that your 98% should have been 100%, yeah i'd say you were up there.
10. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Obviously not. At Sir Wil (Bryan, refresh my memory), i think only one dude got expelled...for showing up massively drunk to a school dance.
11. Can you sing the Alma Mater?
The what now?
12. Who was your favorite teacher?
MR. McCartney....best inspiration ever...I wish i could hunt him down...
13. Favorite class?
All the sciences...
14. What was your school's full name?
Sir Wilfrid Laurier Secondary School
15. School mascot?
A lancer. Don't ask.
16. Did you go to Prom?
I went to like 6 proms.
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
HELL YEAH! I loved high school.
18. What do you remember most about graduation?
Well with grade 12 being graduation from high school vs. grade 13 just OAC graduation...the "real" grade 12 one was stupid because I knew i was going back...OAC I think I was like "get me out of this place already"....
19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
Daiglefests....thank GOD Ryan's parents liked to travel to Florida...all the movies almost every Friday/Sat night...rollerblading all the time with a certain boy who took my mind off the worst breakup of all time....
20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?
WTF does that mean? I don't get this american school jargon.
21. Did you have a job your senior year?
Geezus I've been working since I was 13. By then let's see...Le Chateau...National Trust (a bank that got bought by Scotia Bank)...and that job where I had to sell tutoring things to parents....
22. Who did you date?
Date...or..."date"....
23. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Ha other than the Caf....we'd pile into Stacey's LeBaron and head over to that Loeb area...or McD's....
24. Have you changed much since then?
Hell yeah...I was a confident motherf*cker back then, I figured I was going to rule the world. Now it's like...can I stab myself with a fork yet?!!!
25. What did you do after graduation?
Worked...then went to Ottawa U (and still worked). Hung out in ROckland (boonies!) alot...
Boy wasn't that fun....
"The best year of your life."
Let's see how much you remember:
Year: 1996
1. Who was your best friend?
Geezus...Stacey, Erin, Katie, Christine, Sylvia, Bryan..."Immediate Family" we used to say....plus Jensen, Wendy, Ryan, Andrew, "Jeffy"....sigh my boy Anthony....
2. What sports did you play?
Uh...i played Girl's Touch Football in grade 9....
3. What kind of car did you drive?
My parents' Camry or my brother's crappy Mazda 323 (I'm sure CHris still remembers the license plates)....
4. It's Friday night, where were you at?
One of two places....either at the movies (Cineplex Odeon by Place lol) or in Hull getting my AuZone drinking/clubbing groove on....or a Daiglefest :P
5. Were you a party animal?
I was becoming one....
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"?
In grade 9, we were the coolest of the losers. By OAC/Grade 13, we were the Losers of the Cool People.
7. Ever skip school?
The beauty of being a nerd is that you can skip classes because teachers actually think you didn't want to miss class. I used Tom's death as an excuse...and then my dad's heart attack ("Miss....i have to take my dad for his physical..."...riiighhhttt...)
8. Ever smoke?
Uh, once in high school....a few more since then.
9. Were you a nerd?
When you argue with your teacher that your 98% should have been 100%, yeah i'd say you were up there.
10. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Obviously not. At Sir Wil (Bryan, refresh my memory), i think only one dude got expelled...for showing up massively drunk to a school dance.
11. Can you sing the Alma Mater?
The what now?
12. Who was your favorite teacher?
MR. McCartney....best inspiration ever...I wish i could hunt him down...
13. Favorite class?
All the sciences...
14. What was your school's full name?
Sir Wilfrid Laurier Secondary School
15. School mascot?
A lancer. Don't ask.
16. Did you go to Prom?
I went to like 6 proms.
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
HELL YEAH! I loved high school.
18. What do you remember most about graduation?
Well with grade 12 being graduation from high school vs. grade 13 just OAC graduation...the "real" grade 12 one was stupid because I knew i was going back...OAC I think I was like "get me out of this place already"....
19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
Daiglefests....thank GOD Ryan's parents liked to travel to Florida...all the movies almost every Friday/Sat night...rollerblading all the time with a certain boy who took my mind off the worst breakup of all time....
20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?
WTF does that mean? I don't get this american school jargon.
21. Did you have a job your senior year?
Geezus I've been working since I was 13. By then let's see...Le Chateau...National Trust (a bank that got bought by Scotia Bank)...and that job where I had to sell tutoring things to parents....
22. Who did you date?
Date...or..."date"....
23. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Ha other than the Caf....we'd pile into Stacey's LeBaron and head over to that Loeb area...or McD's....
24. Have you changed much since then?
Hell yeah...I was a confident motherf*cker back then, I figured I was going to rule the world. Now it's like...can I stab myself with a fork yet?!!!
25. What did you do after graduation?
Worked...then went to Ottawa U (and still worked). Hung out in ROckland (boonies!) alot...
Boy wasn't that fun....
In N Out: my blog likes extra pickles
So on KFI this morning they talked about In N Out (because there's that crazy lawsuit, blah blah), and so I figured I would scope out the Secret Menu 'cause I had no idea what a "wishburger" was...
From http://www.zenlemur.com/innout.shtml
In N Out's Secret Menu
So for those of you non-Cali folks, In N Out is a burger chain that's like...a religion here, and it's jsut interesting because it's all fresh yummy stuff...but it's still a fast-food chain. Plus, the menu itself has like 4 items on it, buty ou can order things all bizarre (i.e. the Secret Menu, above)...which is so interesting to think of not presenting your full list of items on a menu (common sense) but that just adds to the allure of In N Out.
Side note: if you watch The OC, if you see the kids drinking soda out of a drink thingy that's white with red palm trees...yep, that's In N Out.
MMM
mmm
good....
From http://www.zenlemur.com/innout.shtml
In N Out's Secret Menu
- "Animal Style" - bun is grilled with mustard, sauteed onions instead of raw, pickles, extra "special sauce" - [this can also be applied to fries (Note: I recently tried this on fries, but don't personally recommend it / Nov. 2, 2003)]
- "Wish Burger" - no meat, i.e. veggie burger
- "Protein Style" - lettuce wrapped around the burger instead of a bun for all of you who are in "The Zone"
- Update 12/23/2003 - there is no such thing as "Old Fashioned Style" - originally I had this listed as "ketchup and mustard instead of the weird special sauce" but that is incorrect as a call from In-n-Out today revealed.
- "Flying Dutchman" - two meat patties with two slices of cheese. that's it.
- "Double Meat" - Double Double without cheese
- "4x4" - 4 meat patties with 4 slices of cheese. Are you SURE you can eat that?
- "2x4" - 2 meat patties with 4 slices of cheese for the fromage afficionado
- "Grilled Cheese" - cheeseburger, sans meat
- "Fries - well done" - get your fries extra crispy and brown the way you like them!
- "Choco-Vanilla Swirl Shake" - just what it sounds like Note: this is not an official secrent menu item, but at most In-n-Out Burgers they will make it if asked for... 12/23/2003
- "Neopolitan Shake" - a blend of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry shakes.
So for those of you non-Cali folks, In N Out is a burger chain that's like...a religion here, and it's jsut interesting because it's all fresh yummy stuff...but it's still a fast-food chain. Plus, the menu itself has like 4 items on it, buty ou can order things all bizarre (i.e. the Secret Menu, above)...which is so interesting to think of not presenting your full list of items on a menu (common sense) but that just adds to the allure of In N Out.
Side note: if you watch The OC, if you see the kids drinking soda out of a drink thingy that's white with red palm trees...yep, that's In N Out.
MMM
mmm
good....
Dear Abby
Killing MORE time...
I present to you...Dating and Personals, Sabina's Opinion...all the questions come from MSN.COM, but you'll get MY opinion...
Dear Lynn,
I am a 22-year-old woman that has seen all of the sex that I want to see. I’ve seen the highs and lows and came to the conclusion that it is all pointless without your life partner, so I recently decided to become a "secondary virgin." My only problem is, how do I present this to the men that I date? I have tried to do so in the past, but they all think that it’s a joke. Any suggestions?
-Re-strapping On My Chastity Belt
If at 22 you've seen all the sex you want to see, you are either:
a) an idiot
b) a whore
c) all of the above
My suggestion is: go get yourself checked for STDs, call your pimp and give him the bad news, and close your frickin' legs.
Dear Lynn,
I've been dating this guy for nearly three years. It's mostly an Internet thing, but I've spent time with him twice and his family as well. They're really nice people that try their best to make me feel comfortable. My boyfriend says he's ready for the next step in our relationship: Me moving in with him. However, when we argue, he will ignore me for days at a time—and when he comes back around, he wants to act like things are fine, like nothing happened. How would he act if/when I do move in? Time and time again, I've apologized to him after he's hurt my feelings, just for the sake of keeping peace in the relationship. He knows I hate to argue and fight, but he throws out comments just to hurt me sometimes. I love this guy with all my heart. I want a future with him, and I keep hoping one day he'll wake up and change, but is this a futile hope?
-Tearful and Tired
So when he ignores you for days, does that mean you can go out with your friends...watch tv in silence...do the laundry...go out, get plastered, and come home without hearing him bitch about you probably went out to pick up? Sounds like a good deal to me. Otherwise...he's a guy...guys like simple...ask him "Are you giving me the silent treatment? That's what a girl would do. That's so gay. Are you gay? Holy sh*t you ARE gay..."...that'll get him to start speaking again and prove he's a man by letting you get your bitching out of your system, or at least, yelling which will get you the communication you clearly crave.
Hi Lynn,
During the past six years, I have been involved in an on-again, off-again relationship with my college sweetheart. Time after time, we've gotten together and then decided to call it quits because of different circumstances. The real issue now is that over the years, she has gained more than 40 pounds.
I love her and could see myself with her for the long haul; however, her weight gain has really been a major issue in my not wanting to make a commitment to her. I have spoken to her about this issue a few times within the past few years, and I’ve gone as far as to write her workout plans, offer nutritional advice and advocate her making a lifestyle change. She isn't offended by my complaints, but aside from an occasional modest weight loss, she has regained the weight. I’m not shallow or using the weight issue to get out of the relationship: I'm worried about both the potential long-term health risks and, quite honestly, have become less attracted to her physically. Do you have any advice?
Yeah i got advice you cheap bastard...if you truly love her, then spend the money on lipo. Then you both get what you want. So shut your pie hole and take her to Dr. Rey. Oh, this only applies if you've got the body of an Adonis.
>
Dear Lynn,
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year and we have a five-month-old child together. My problem is that he is still married. We live together, and he hasn't been with his wife for three years now. I love him very much and he says he loves me, too. He says that he wants the divorce, but still hasn't gotten it. Am I being a fool by staying in this situation? What would you advise?
First off, you should get off the crack you're snorting...because clearly you had to have been on that to have a kid with a guy who's got a wife. A WIFE YOU IDIOT. You know what that means? It means she still gets to make medical decisions if something happens to him. It means if she effs up her credit history, HIS credit history is effed up. It means you better hope that he changed his beneficiary to your kid on his bank statements, or else you're f*cked. What would I advise? Getting a good lawyer to make sure your kid is taken care of if something happens to him, 'cause if I were his wife I'd murder his lousy ass.
I present to you...Dating and Personals, Sabina's Opinion...all the questions come from MSN.COM, but you'll get MY opinion...
Dear Lynn,
I am a 22-year-old woman that has seen all of the sex that I want to see. I’ve seen the highs and lows and came to the conclusion that it is all pointless without your life partner, so I recently decided to become a "secondary virgin." My only problem is, how do I present this to the men that I date? I have tried to do so in the past, but they all think that it’s a joke. Any suggestions?
-Re-strapping On My Chastity Belt
If at 22 you've seen all the sex you want to see, you are either:
a) an idiot
b) a whore
c) all of the above
My suggestion is: go get yourself checked for STDs, call your pimp and give him the bad news, and close your frickin' legs.
Dear Lynn,
I've been dating this guy for nearly three years. It's mostly an Internet thing, but I've spent time with him twice and his family as well. They're really nice people that try their best to make me feel comfortable. My boyfriend says he's ready for the next step in our relationship: Me moving in with him. However, when we argue, he will ignore me for days at a time—and when he comes back around, he wants to act like things are fine, like nothing happened. How would he act if/when I do move in? Time and time again, I've apologized to him after he's hurt my feelings, just for the sake of keeping peace in the relationship. He knows I hate to argue and fight, but he throws out comments just to hurt me sometimes. I love this guy with all my heart. I want a future with him, and I keep hoping one day he'll wake up and change, but is this a futile hope?
-Tearful and Tired
So when he ignores you for days, does that mean you can go out with your friends...watch tv in silence...do the laundry...go out, get plastered, and come home without hearing him bitch about you probably went out to pick up? Sounds like a good deal to me. Otherwise...he's a guy...guys like simple...ask him "Are you giving me the silent treatment? That's what a girl would do. That's so gay. Are you gay? Holy sh*t you ARE gay..."...that'll get him to start speaking again and prove he's a man by letting you get your bitching out of your system, or at least, yelling which will get you the communication you clearly crave.
Hi Lynn,
During the past six years, I have been involved in an on-again, off-again relationship with my college sweetheart. Time after time, we've gotten together and then decided to call it quits because of different circumstances. The real issue now is that over the years, she has gained more than 40 pounds.
I love her and could see myself with her for the long haul; however, her weight gain has really been a major issue in my not wanting to make a commitment to her. I have spoken to her about this issue a few times within the past few years, and I’ve gone as far as to write her workout plans, offer nutritional advice and advocate her making a lifestyle change. She isn't offended by my complaints, but aside from an occasional modest weight loss, she has regained the weight. I’m not shallow or using the weight issue to get out of the relationship: I'm worried about both the potential long-term health risks and, quite honestly, have become less attracted to her physically. Do you have any advice?
Yeah i got advice you cheap bastard...if you truly love her, then spend the money on lipo. Then you both get what you want. So shut your pie hole and take her to Dr. Rey. Oh, this only applies if you've got the body of an Adonis.
>
Dear Lynn,
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year and we have a five-month-old child together. My problem is that he is still married. We live together, and he hasn't been with his wife for three years now. I love him very much and he says he loves me, too. He says that he wants the divorce, but still hasn't gotten it. Am I being a fool by staying in this situation? What would you advise?
First off, you should get off the crack you're snorting...because clearly you had to have been on that to have a kid with a guy who's got a wife. A WIFE YOU IDIOT. You know what that means? It means she still gets to make medical decisions if something happens to him. It means if she effs up her credit history, HIS credit history is effed up. It means you better hope that he changed his beneficiary to your kid on his bank statements, or else you're f*cked. What would I advise? Getting a good lawyer to make sure your kid is taken care of if something happens to him, 'cause if I were his wife I'd murder his lousy ass.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Boys are just gross
So I don't have too much to say and I've got time to kill...so here's some random thoughts on all those things chicks are supposed to keep quiet about.
It's like Samantha on Sex and The City once said...a guy once dumped her because she missed a bikini wax. Women are NOT supposed to be human (episode where Carrie...uh...does something...in front of Big)...
Which I'm more than fine with. Kraig was getting upset the other day because I kept saying "are you done with the bathroom, are you done with the bathroom" 'cause i had to take care of the upper lip business...and there's 3 things i refuse to ever, EVER let a guy see...2 of them involve bodily functions and the other one involves the bleaching of one's upper lip...
He insisted that he HAS seen that, which I will argue to my grave. I don't care if we're stranded in some random remote area and I have to go in the bushes...he will NEVER see me. I don't care if I have a catheter...he better hire a friggin' nurse (go ahead, get a hot blond, i'll have other issues to worry about)....
We shave our legs
We shave other areas
I've had HOT WAX drip into my gonads
I bleach my teeth
I pluck the crap out of my eyebrows
I slather a boatload of moisturizer on my feet at night....
Chicks just aren't allowed to be gross. Ever.
So we all know guys are gross...but why can't they limit that sh*t amongst their own kind? I'm supposed to be a lady on my own...but around a guy, suddenly I'm at baboon-levels eating lice off his head (that was a metaphor....I've never actually dealt with a guy who had lice)...
And I know guys are neanderthal and think things that are gross are like trophies and prizes worth showing off. But are they RETARDED?! Show that crap (ha, literally) to your buddies, but i am NOT a buddy and I'm STILL a chick and i do NOT want to be involved in anything remotely nasty or gross whatsoever.
My friend/ex-cubemate Tony once drank an entire container of KFC gravy in order to get enough cash to visit his then-girlfriend...I am positive if the poor girl actually lived with him, she would have been subjected to him showing her all the nasty things that the human body does when it consumes family-sized quantities of leftover chicken drippings.
Kraig once drank a bottle of Tabasco. Fortunately, I didn't know him at the time. Unfortunately, I've heard enough about the side-effects that I might as well have been there at the time.
I dated another guy who's mother ALWAYS made her infamous Sour Cream Chocolate Cake (it was good, but not THAT good)...well he would never wrap it up, and he'd eat the whole thing in like a week by sitting in bed in his dorm with it...by then it would get dry and crumbly...i'm sure there was growth on it since he never covered it...it was basially the Sub that Homer kept eating even after Marge through it out....anyway his bed was a perpetual pit of these chocolate cake crumbs because he never once changed his bedsheets...it was just effing nasty. A chick once stopped me in a bar and pointed to him and said how he never changed his sheets when he lived in the dorm...i was like "yeah, and he's a guy...they're ALL effing disgusting"....
I actually spent $70 on cleaning products and walked, IN HEELS, IN THE SUMMER, for almost an hour to get back to his place in order to clean the frickin' bathroom, i couldn't handle it anymore.
THEN...after cleaning the bathroom, his roommate was like "get out, I need to use the toilet"...i'm like "go f*ck yourself, i just cleaned this"...clearly it then became war between me and his roommate...i had this air freshner thing that could open/close behind the toilet, and he KEPT CLOSING IT SHUT...that f*cker.
Boys
are
NASTY
Just effing nasty. I mean, why am I shaving my armpits when they've got hair longer than a Barbie doll's going on in there...
I've said it before, I'll say it again...if chicks had penises, I'd be a lesbian....guys are just effing gross and nasty.
I have to give credit to one guy i briefly dated...the place was a disaster, but he steered me straight for his room every time...it's like, he KNEW it was vile....the less time I gotta climb over dusty cardboard boxes, the better.
It's like Samantha on Sex and The City once said...a guy once dumped her because she missed a bikini wax. Women are NOT supposed to be human (episode where Carrie...uh...does something...in front of Big)...
Which I'm more than fine with. Kraig was getting upset the other day because I kept saying "are you done with the bathroom, are you done with the bathroom" 'cause i had to take care of the upper lip business...and there's 3 things i refuse to ever, EVER let a guy see...2 of them involve bodily functions and the other one involves the bleaching of one's upper lip...
He insisted that he HAS seen that, which I will argue to my grave. I don't care if we're stranded in some random remote area and I have to go in the bushes...he will NEVER see me. I don't care if I have a catheter...he better hire a friggin' nurse (go ahead, get a hot blond, i'll have other issues to worry about)....
We shave our legs
We shave other areas
I've had HOT WAX drip into my gonads
I bleach my teeth
I pluck the crap out of my eyebrows
I slather a boatload of moisturizer on my feet at night....
Chicks just aren't allowed to be gross. Ever.
So we all know guys are gross...but why can't they limit that sh*t amongst their own kind? I'm supposed to be a lady on my own...but around a guy, suddenly I'm at baboon-levels eating lice off his head (that was a metaphor....I've never actually dealt with a guy who had lice)...
And I know guys are neanderthal and think things that are gross are like trophies and prizes worth showing off. But are they RETARDED?! Show that crap (ha, literally) to your buddies, but i am NOT a buddy and I'm STILL a chick and i do NOT want to be involved in anything remotely nasty or gross whatsoever.
My friend/ex-cubemate Tony once drank an entire container of KFC gravy in order to get enough cash to visit his then-girlfriend...I am positive if the poor girl actually lived with him, she would have been subjected to him showing her all the nasty things that the human body does when it consumes family-sized quantities of leftover chicken drippings.
Kraig once drank a bottle of Tabasco. Fortunately, I didn't know him at the time. Unfortunately, I've heard enough about the side-effects that I might as well have been there at the time.
I dated another guy who's mother ALWAYS made her infamous Sour Cream Chocolate Cake (it was good, but not THAT good)...well he would never wrap it up, and he'd eat the whole thing in like a week by sitting in bed in his dorm with it...by then it would get dry and crumbly...i'm sure there was growth on it since he never covered it...it was basially the Sub that Homer kept eating even after Marge through it out....anyway his bed was a perpetual pit of these chocolate cake crumbs because he never once changed his bedsheets...it was just effing nasty. A chick once stopped me in a bar and pointed to him and said how he never changed his sheets when he lived in the dorm...i was like "yeah, and he's a guy...they're ALL effing disgusting"....
I actually spent $70 on cleaning products and walked, IN HEELS, IN THE SUMMER, for almost an hour to get back to his place in order to clean the frickin' bathroom, i couldn't handle it anymore.
THEN...after cleaning the bathroom, his roommate was like "get out, I need to use the toilet"...i'm like "go f*ck yourself, i just cleaned this"...clearly it then became war between me and his roommate...i had this air freshner thing that could open/close behind the toilet, and he KEPT CLOSING IT SHUT...that f*cker.
Boys
are
NASTY
Just effing nasty. I mean, why am I shaving my armpits when they've got hair longer than a Barbie doll's going on in there...
I've said it before, I'll say it again...if chicks had penises, I'd be a lesbian....guys are just effing gross and nasty.
I have to give credit to one guy i briefly dated...the place was a disaster, but he steered me straight for his room every time...it's like, he KNEW it was vile....the less time I gotta climb over dusty cardboard boxes, the better.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Peanut Butter is your friend!
This cracked me up, from Muppets 3D: A salute to all nations, but primarily America
So I came up with a few random things that I think are a testament to a guy's manliness:
That's not all-inclusive...just some stuff that came to mind.
Here's the general list of things that a chick should be able to do:
1. Give good head, or at least, be willing to learn how
2. How to decline sex without making the guy feel rejected when really, it's because she's got a yeast infection, bladder infection, is on the rag, or hasn't shaved her legs and she's not at that point with the dude where he can be exposed to any of that
3. How to wash cashmere, even if you don't ever own a cashmere item
4. How to cry without getting your face all red (i mean, you can bawl your heart out if you're in pail...but if you gotta stifle it, there's an art to stifling so that you get some tears out without your face looking like you've got roseacea)
5. How to fix a broken nail in a pinch (hint: matchbook)
6. How to sew a button (tip: to avoid it altogether, put some clear nailpolish on the threads of a new shirt)
7. How to bake at least one mean dessert (muffins and bread count as dessert)
8. How to walk in heels at least 3" high (they don't have to be pumps...that's my rule...'cause I overpronate and I can't walk in pumps of any height, i need straps!)...work your way up to 4". And then rest your back for the rest of the rest of the night 'cause that sh*t ain't chiropractically-sound...
9. How to style your hair when it hasn't been washed so that it doesn't scream "I haven't washed my hair! It's Sunday! Suck it!"
10. HOw to do Kegels (not that any of us actually DO them...but you should know how...for...whatever reason)
So speaking of heels, I'm having serious shoe issues. I had the craziest amount of shoes but then I got rid of ALOT of them (back from my Le Chateau years), and the amount in my closet is killing me. Plus, the weather in Orange County is freakin' awesome....I sometimes forget that there was a time when, if you wanted to wear heels in February, you went through hell and a half to not damage your shoes while freezing your ass of and almost slipping and breaking your back. So I've been trying to replenish my shoe supply but it's insanely hard to find shoes my size (5...or 5 1/2), especially if they're on sale or aren't brand new arrivals (and no, i'm not blowing hundreds on a pair of shoes...boots, yes, but shoes...unless they were to DIE for, which i have yet to find..boots, however, i'll pay whatever necessary....)
Oh, someone needs to remind me to post what Jackass Who Told Me I Need To Learn THe Splits once did involving a porn about BJs....
So I came up with a few random things that I think are a testament to a guy's manliness:
- driving manual
- using jumper cables when the batteries die
- being able to carry a chick out of a burning building
- knowing how to start a fire and cook raw meat...i.e. BBQing
- EATING meat...this vegetarian thing for guys isn't cool
- instinctively move so that at no times the chick is walking closest to the road
- removing a tshirt should never start by pulling your arms out of the tshirt before taking it off (unless the guys plans on wearing it again for whatever reason without washing it)....only because it's hot when a dude takes his shirt off by starting with the back and ripping it off...
That's not all-inclusive...just some stuff that came to mind.
Here's the general list of things that a chick should be able to do:
1. Give good head, or at least, be willing to learn how
2. How to decline sex without making the guy feel rejected when really, it's because she's got a yeast infection, bladder infection, is on the rag, or hasn't shaved her legs and she's not at that point with the dude where he can be exposed to any of that
3. How to wash cashmere, even if you don't ever own a cashmere item
4. How to cry without getting your face all red (i mean, you can bawl your heart out if you're in pail...but if you gotta stifle it, there's an art to stifling so that you get some tears out without your face looking like you've got roseacea)
5. How to fix a broken nail in a pinch (hint: matchbook)
6. How to sew a button (tip: to avoid it altogether, put some clear nailpolish on the threads of a new shirt)
7. How to bake at least one mean dessert (muffins and bread count as dessert)
8. How to walk in heels at least 3" high (they don't have to be pumps...that's my rule...'cause I overpronate and I can't walk in pumps of any height, i need straps!)...work your way up to 4". And then rest your back for the rest of the rest of the night 'cause that sh*t ain't chiropractically-sound...
9. How to style your hair when it hasn't been washed so that it doesn't scream "I haven't washed my hair! It's Sunday! Suck it!"
10. HOw to do Kegels (not that any of us actually DO them...but you should know how...for...whatever reason)
So speaking of heels, I'm having serious shoe issues. I had the craziest amount of shoes but then I got rid of ALOT of them (back from my Le Chateau years), and the amount in my closet is killing me. Plus, the weather in Orange County is freakin' awesome....I sometimes forget that there was a time when, if you wanted to wear heels in February, you went through hell and a half to not damage your shoes while freezing your ass of and almost slipping and breaking your back. So I've been trying to replenish my shoe supply but it's insanely hard to find shoes my size (5...or 5 1/2), especially if they're on sale or aren't brand new arrivals (and no, i'm not blowing hundreds on a pair of shoes...boots, yes, but shoes...unless they were to DIE for, which i have yet to find..boots, however, i'll pay whatever necessary....)
Oh, someone needs to remind me to post what Jackass Who Told Me I Need To Learn THe Splits once did involving a porn about BJs....
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Letters to the editor....
Marlene: ughghgh I gotta stop EATING relative to the exercise though lol...even though on a whim I went last night at midnight to the gym, but I go primarily to relieve stress...I find when I don't go, I'm 100% pure bitchy (as opposed to only 90%....)...I figure, I'm doing a public service when I go!
Bryan: a certain Rockland guy was the non-hockey player (I mean, couldn't skate, couldn't do JACK) even though he played every other sport. Plus he drove his mom's Tercel....and he WHINED....<>...
And you KNOW it was the university boyfriend who said the splits comment! Who else would be that much of an ass?
Bryan: a certain Rockland guy was the non-hockey player (I mean, couldn't skate, couldn't do JACK) even though he played every other sport. Plus he drove his mom's Tercel....and he WHINED....<
And you KNOW it was the university boyfriend who said the splits comment! Who else would be that much of an ass?
Saturday, February 25, 2006
shhh...sneak in a quickie
Just a few quick thoughts...
0. On the subject of hockey still:
Yesterday a coworker asked me if I played hockey...I'm like "pfft maybe it's different now..but growing up...girls don't play hockey, we DATE hockey players"...(I mean, we may have WANTED to...but I've watched a hellofalotta more games than I've ever played)
In Canada I think i dated only one guy who wasn't a hockey player, and I gotta admit...his manly quotient wasn't all that high in my eyes. I think it's something in the water that makes you think like that.
1. THANK YOU NORMAN....we're going to California Adventure today! We owe you big time :)
2. So I have this other site (well I've got a ton) that I was using kind of just like an online diary (yes, i'm one of those chicks who's been writing her in her diary since she was like 10) but they underwent a massive drive failure and now all the data is lost...i've been using that site for like 4 years and it's just so weird to me that all that data is gone, it's like, there's no proof that I existed for the past 4 years almost (they kept saying there would be a download/backup feature, but it never got implemented). All my wedding planning, all that stuff, was in that diary. Very very weird to me, and it makes me super sad to say the least...
...yeah. just...sucks.
3. Sasha Cohen at the skating exhibition last night...holy SH*T that girl is crazy good. She didn't do any jumps but she can contort her body like no one's business.
WHICH leads me to...
4. I dated a jackass who insisted I should learn how to do the splits (yeah, c'mon guys...will it REALLY make a diff if your girl knows the splits? I mean, REALLY?), and I busted my ass for a year each morning stretching like a mofo. Well after seeing Sasha...i'm back on.
I call it, Contortion 2.0....aka....Do The Splits Before Age 30....
Which will clearly be my 3rd new year's resolution for this year.
(Do The Splits Before Age 30 Or Pull A Groin Muscle Trying more like it)....
5. When will someone invent an at-home lipo machine? Just a straw attached to a Dyson or something. If i can do an at-home glycolic peel, if I can do at-home microdermabrasion, I damn well should be able to suck the fat out of my thighs myself as well.
6. I was at the gym till midnight yesterday (well i mean...i only got there at like 10:45). Suck it. Which either means I'm dedicated like crazy or I clearly have no life.
7. Is it bad to want to rip your husband a new one when you come home from work, exhausted, and he took the day off to be sick (yeah thanks Marlene for that one), and the home is still a disaster when you get home?!!
8. On another note, I switched air fresheners (the plugin kind, i went from Glade to Airwick) and Kraig went on this huge rant that he doesn't know why it smells like perfume but he is NOT having an affair on me...so I'm like "uh I'm not really too worried about that" which then lead to this HUGE discussion about how he COULD get a chick if he wanted to (I'm not disputing that...but if he could choose a saturday night of D&D or a sat night mackin' some chick, we all know what he'd pick)...I think he was really upset that I knew it was the air freshener and not some lavender-scented chick perfume.
9. Looks like we're finally doing a trip to San Jose end of March...
10. Looks like my mom is gonna postpone her trip until Autumn...oh thank GOD (how that works with my dad's free ticket is beyond me, but there are certain things in life that I just don't question).
Booyah.
0. On the subject of hockey still:
Yesterday a coworker asked me if I played hockey...I'm like "pfft maybe it's different now..but growing up...girls don't play hockey, we DATE hockey players"...(I mean, we may have WANTED to...but I've watched a hellofalotta more games than I've ever played)
In Canada I think i dated only one guy who wasn't a hockey player, and I gotta admit...his manly quotient wasn't all that high in my eyes. I think it's something in the water that makes you think like that.
1. THANK YOU NORMAN....we're going to California Adventure today! We owe you big time :)
2. So I have this other site (well I've got a ton) that I was using kind of just like an online diary (yes, i'm one of those chicks who's been writing her in her diary since she was like 10) but they underwent a massive drive failure and now all the data is lost...i've been using that site for like 4 years and it's just so weird to me that all that data is gone, it's like, there's no proof that I existed for the past 4 years almost (they kept saying there would be a download/backup feature, but it never got implemented). All my wedding planning, all that stuff, was in that diary. Very very weird to me, and it makes me super sad to say the least...
...yeah. just...sucks.
3. Sasha Cohen at the skating exhibition last night...holy SH*T that girl is crazy good. She didn't do any jumps but she can contort her body like no one's business.
WHICH leads me to...
4. I dated a jackass who insisted I should learn how to do the splits (yeah, c'mon guys...will it REALLY make a diff if your girl knows the splits? I mean, REALLY?), and I busted my ass for a year each morning stretching like a mofo. Well after seeing Sasha...i'm back on.
I call it, Contortion 2.0....aka....Do The Splits Before Age 30....
Which will clearly be my 3rd new year's resolution for this year.
(Do The Splits Before Age 30 Or Pull A Groin Muscle Trying more like it)....
5. When will someone invent an at-home lipo machine? Just a straw attached to a Dyson or something. If i can do an at-home glycolic peel, if I can do at-home microdermabrasion, I damn well should be able to suck the fat out of my thighs myself as well.
6. I was at the gym till midnight yesterday (well i mean...i only got there at like 10:45). Suck it. Which either means I'm dedicated like crazy or I clearly have no life.
7. Is it bad to want to rip your husband a new one when you come home from work, exhausted, and he took the day off to be sick (yeah thanks Marlene for that one), and the home is still a disaster when you get home?!!
8. On another note, I switched air fresheners (the plugin kind, i went from Glade to Airwick) and Kraig went on this huge rant that he doesn't know why it smells like perfume but he is NOT having an affair on me...so I'm like "uh I'm not really too worried about that" which then lead to this HUGE discussion about how he COULD get a chick if he wanted to (I'm not disputing that...but if he could choose a saturday night of D&D or a sat night mackin' some chick, we all know what he'd pick)...I think he was really upset that I knew it was the air freshener and not some lavender-scented chick perfume.
9. Looks like we're finally doing a trip to San Jose end of March...
10. Looks like my mom is gonna postpone her trip until Autumn...oh thank GOD (how that works with my dad's free ticket is beyond me, but there are certain things in life that I just don't question).
Booyah.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
What the BLEEP
I swear to GOD....i might as well have bet on this, because only when I make a bet would I lose this bad:
TURIN, Italy (AFP) - Ice Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky accepted the blame for Canada's shock Olympic Games exit after his country's worst performance in the tournament for 26 years.
Sometimes, I should really just keep my mouth shut.
TURIN, Italy (AFP) - Ice Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky accepted the blame for Canada's shock Olympic Games exit after his country's worst performance in the tournament for 26 years.
Sometimes, I should really just keep my mouth shut.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Nerd fest
You know you're a bit of a nerd when you get EXCITED for this:
Monday
5/15/2006
It May be GUI, but It Doesn't Have to Be Messy! What every technical communicator needs to know about the basics of good software GUI design rules.
I also finally updated this:
My Husband's So Called Ailments
Monday
5/15/2006
It May be GUI, but It Doesn't Have to Be Messy! What every technical communicator needs to know about the basics of good software GUI design rules.
I also finally updated this:
My Husband's So Called Ailments
Quote of the day....
Thanks to Evan for making me laugh...he overheard the following:
“Dolphins are intelligent and friendly”.
“Ya… intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise!”
“Dolphins are intelligent and friendly”.
“Ya… intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise!”
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Thank you sir, may I have another?
Egads: Pic from Elle awards
I miss the "Accused of causing Columbine" Marilyn Manson...not "I married a hot chick and now I go to Style Awards" Marilyn Manson....
I miss the "Accused of causing Columbine" Marilyn Manson...not "I married a hot chick and now I go to Style Awards" Marilyn Manson....
Monday, February 20, 2006
Blogariffic
Clearly, I have issues:
Alien does JDate
What's more funny:
1. "Synagizzle"
2. A yarmulke that says "WWJD" heh heh
or
3. "Circum Size Me"
One day, I'm going to seriously hurt myself laughing.
So this weekend was pretty busy. A few things to note...
Avengers Game - Sat Night
So apparently Melissa Rivers (Joan Rivers' daughter) has season tix to the Avengers (indoor arena football). Now of course I've seen her a million times on TV, but it's always different when you see a celeb in real life.
First off, the girl is TINY. I mean, UBER tiny. But...when she stands next to celebs, she looks bigger than them. Which basically means that Reese Witherspoon et. al. are all microscopic in real life. The camera adds like FIFTY pounds.
That being said, she's NASTy in real life. I mean, her FACE...thep lastic surgery has her a few away from looking like that catwoman chick. If my mom were Joan Rivers, plastic surgery on my FACE is the last thing I'd do.
Dogwalking
Me.
Daisy.
This time, I actually picked up dog poop. ONCE. That's my limit.
Sunday Morning
Yee haw, got to see some dear ol' friends from San Jose who were in town for the weekend. Got our Mimi's Cafe groove on.
On that note...
Marlene (aka Slovebunny), meet Norm....his roommate is an arrogant bastard that I work with. He thinks he knows STUFF. Now you know.
On that note, i find it hilarious that Marlene calls up her sister reading this blog....you are all much, much dumber for having read it. You've been warned.
General poll
Listen, i have NO problems with guys who do figure skating. It's hard as hell. I know that. But i can also say that no straight guy would voluntarily do it (males SINGLES skating)....it's not a knock against gay guys or figure skaters. But i grew up in a place where guys learn to skate before they learn to walk, and trust me, they're not jumping to be figure skaters.
See, it's not ME who thinks that straight guys aren't figure skaters...ASK A STRAIGHT GUY. No self respecting straight guy would EVER want to be a figure skater. Speed skater, bobsledding, anything....ANYTHING...other than figure skating. I took an informal poll, and I was right.
note: this applies to north american dudes....maybe european ones think differently. I don't know.
Desperate Housewives
I'm so glad Nicole D swung by last night, DH is always more fun when you watch with friends :)
So a note to ABC...enough with Susan being an idiot! Okay last night she wasn't that bad, but lately we've all been hoping that her wandering spleen would kill her off.
I did dig the little story about Gabby and her mom....we don't see much insight onto Gabby's life, so that was a refreshing change. And amazingly Lynette's story wasn't much of anything other than to highlight Bree's drinking. Bree of course has the best storyline right now...
...and finally....
WTF I went to Target to quickly pick up a few small things and walked out having spent $70.00 even. wtf.
Product Reviews
Gillette Fusion Razor: for some reason I keep getting Gillette razors in the mail. Anyway I was excited to give this a whirl...5 mutha effing blades! And i'm a hairy beast! Sounds like a match made in heaven.
In reality, the blades are overkill. They're packed too close together, so it's a pain to rinse out the goo and hair. The handle is great, but the part where it connects to the razor itself is awful...it doesn't fit into your typical "razor holder" thingy in your shower. Plus the cost of the replacement blades is crazy....honestly, I did a test...and it pretty much did the same job as a Mach 3. So save your cash.
Maybelline Unstoppable Mascara: Now I'm pretty old-skool...when I like something, I don't stop using it. But it was one sale, and I figured i should give it a try. On the plus side, this stuff DOES last all day. The rest of Maybelline's mascaras tend to run out, but this stuff was still on even after a full day AND a trip to the gym. The downside...the consistency isn't like typical mascaras (think black icing type), it was more like...a liquidy sludge type of consistency. NOt a big deal, but you gotta take more time to apply it because it's so watery.
Pantene Root Booster: it was on sale at Target, what can I say. Plus my hair's been going pretty flat lately. Anyway I gotta admit, this stuff is GOOD. I blow dried my hair upside down as usual, and when I flipped my hair back up I lookedl ike Cindy Crawford circa 1992. VERY impressed.
So...2 out of 3 products get a Sabina Seal Of Approval. Heidi Ho.....
Alien does JDate
What's more funny:
1. "Synagizzle"
2. A yarmulke that says "WWJD" heh heh
or
3. "Circum Size Me"
One day, I'm going to seriously hurt myself laughing.
So this weekend was pretty busy. A few things to note...
Avengers Game - Sat Night
So apparently Melissa Rivers (Joan Rivers' daughter) has season tix to the Avengers (indoor arena football). Now of course I've seen her a million times on TV, but it's always different when you see a celeb in real life.
First off, the girl is TINY. I mean, UBER tiny. But...when she stands next to celebs, she looks bigger than them. Which basically means that Reese Witherspoon et. al. are all microscopic in real life. The camera adds like FIFTY pounds.
That being said, she's NASTy in real life. I mean, her FACE...thep lastic surgery has her a few away from looking like that catwoman chick. If my mom were Joan Rivers, plastic surgery on my FACE is the last thing I'd do.
Dogwalking
Me.
Daisy.
This time, I actually picked up dog poop. ONCE. That's my limit.
Sunday Morning
Yee haw, got to see some dear ol' friends from San Jose who were in town for the weekend. Got our Mimi's Cafe groove on.
On that note...
Marlene (aka Slovebunny), meet Norm....his roommate is an arrogant bastard that I work with. He thinks he knows STUFF. Now you know.
On that note, i find it hilarious that Marlene calls up her sister reading this blog....you are all much, much dumber for having read it. You've been warned.
General poll
Listen, i have NO problems with guys who do figure skating. It's hard as hell. I know that. But i can also say that no straight guy would voluntarily do it (males SINGLES skating)....it's not a knock against gay guys or figure skaters. But i grew up in a place where guys learn to skate before they learn to walk, and trust me, they're not jumping to be figure skaters.
See, it's not ME who thinks that straight guys aren't figure skaters...ASK A STRAIGHT GUY. No self respecting straight guy would EVER want to be a figure skater. Speed skater, bobsledding, anything....ANYTHING...other than figure skating. I took an informal poll, and I was right.
note: this applies to north american dudes....maybe european ones think differently. I don't know.
Desperate Housewives
I'm so glad Nicole D swung by last night, DH is always more fun when you watch with friends :)
So a note to ABC...enough with Susan being an idiot! Okay last night she wasn't that bad, but lately we've all been hoping that her wandering spleen would kill her off.
I did dig the little story about Gabby and her mom....we don't see much insight onto Gabby's life, so that was a refreshing change. And amazingly Lynette's story wasn't much of anything other than to highlight Bree's drinking. Bree of course has the best storyline right now...
...and finally....
WTF I went to Target to quickly pick up a few small things and walked out having spent $70.00 even. wtf.
Product Reviews
Gillette Fusion Razor: for some reason I keep getting Gillette razors in the mail. Anyway I was excited to give this a whirl...5 mutha effing blades! And i'm a hairy beast! Sounds like a match made in heaven.
In reality, the blades are overkill. They're packed too close together, so it's a pain to rinse out the goo and hair. The handle is great, but the part where it connects to the razor itself is awful...it doesn't fit into your typical "razor holder" thingy in your shower. Plus the cost of the replacement blades is crazy....honestly, I did a test...and it pretty much did the same job as a Mach 3. So save your cash.
Maybelline Unstoppable Mascara: Now I'm pretty old-skool...when I like something, I don't stop using it. But it was one sale, and I figured i should give it a try. On the plus side, this stuff DOES last all day. The rest of Maybelline's mascaras tend to run out, but this stuff was still on even after a full day AND a trip to the gym. The downside...the consistency isn't like typical mascaras (think black icing type), it was more like...a liquidy sludge type of consistency. NOt a big deal, but you gotta take more time to apply it because it's so watery.
Pantene Root Booster: it was on sale at Target, what can I say. Plus my hair's been going pretty flat lately. Anyway I gotta admit, this stuff is GOOD. I blow dried my hair upside down as usual, and when I flipped my hair back up I lookedl ike Cindy Crawford circa 1992. VERY impressed.
So...2 out of 3 products get a Sabina Seal Of Approval. Heidi Ho.....
Saturday, February 18, 2006
New Year's Resolution update
So i had two NY's resolutions. Here's the status update...
1. To be more refined and elegant: Ugh not going so good. I think I'm going to buy a Miss Manners book so I can be more proactive on that.
2. To be a better wife.: so part of that was to make dinner at least once a week for Kraig...I know some couples eat together every night but it's hard for us, we have seriously different schedules. Plus lots of times by the time I"m done grocery shopping after work, the last thing I want to do is actually COOK...I mean, I've realized that I'm productive for ONE task after work before I'm zonked. Whether that's pick up dry cleaning, pick up prescriptions, do grocery shopping...that's it. So really cooking is a 2-day task for me, one day to shop and one day to buy. Plus we end up having leftovers that we NEVER eat.
Anyway, I just cooked an early dinner now for him and he was all "Why are you being so nice? It's weirding me out" which clearly shows how much more work I have to do on this resolution!
1. To be more refined and elegant: Ugh not going so good. I think I'm going to buy a Miss Manners book so I can be more proactive on that.
2. To be a better wife.: so part of that was to make dinner at least once a week for Kraig...I know some couples eat together every night but it's hard for us, we have seriously different schedules. Plus lots of times by the time I"m done grocery shopping after work, the last thing I want to do is actually COOK...I mean, I've realized that I'm productive for ONE task after work before I'm zonked. Whether that's pick up dry cleaning, pick up prescriptions, do grocery shopping...that's it. So really cooking is a 2-day task for me, one day to shop and one day to buy. Plus we end up having leftovers that we NEVER eat.
Anyway, I just cooked an early dinner now for him and he was all "Why are you being so nice? It's weirding me out" which clearly shows how much more work I have to do on this resolution!
$BLOG$
Oh the humanity.
So I called up Verizon, 'cause this texting situation isn't working. Really the only two people with Verizon that I text are Nicole B and Carrie...everyone else has some other package...and I spent $55 over my limit on texting.
So I upped my texting package from 50 non-Verizon to 500 non-Verizon, even though last month alone I went 650 msgs over....but the chick gave me $10 free (which is the cost of the package), so I figure I might as well use this now and then next month up it to 1000 messages for $15.
On another note, I did a financial snapshot of our situation, and just whipping out the general expenses per month, NOT including the timeshare, Kraig's car, and food/stuff (i.e. credit card stuff), it's around $4K. If you factor in the food/stuff (where stuff=toilet paper, gas, etc), then it's almost $5K. Mother effer.
We keep saying we should do a lottery pool...I'm SO down for that. Like say once a month, ALL of use girls get together...put $4 each in an envelope, pick the numbers, and then once a week one designated person buy X amount of numbers.
Ugh. Gonna take a nap.
So I called up Verizon, 'cause this texting situation isn't working. Really the only two people with Verizon that I text are Nicole B and Carrie...everyone else has some other package...and I spent $55 over my limit on texting.
So I upped my texting package from 50 non-Verizon to 500 non-Verizon, even though last month alone I went 650 msgs over....but the chick gave me $10 free (which is the cost of the package), so I figure I might as well use this now and then next month up it to 1000 messages for $15.
On another note, I did a financial snapshot of our situation, and just whipping out the general expenses per month, NOT including the timeshare, Kraig's car, and food/stuff (i.e. credit card stuff), it's around $4K. If you factor in the food/stuff (where stuff=toilet paper, gas, etc), then it's almost $5K. Mother effer.
We keep saying we should do a lottery pool...I'm SO down for that. Like say once a month, ALL of use girls get together...put $4 each in an envelope, pick the numbers, and then once a week one designated person buy X amount of numbers.
Ugh. Gonna take a nap.
I....hate...PEOPLE....
SOOO effing pissed.
I was driving home and some dude passed the car next to me and clipped mine. He scraped a chunk of paint off my side mirror.
Now anyone who's seen my car knows that there's probably more grey than white on it at this point, but it's one thing when it's MY fault...it's another when it's some jackass.
The dude totally sped off, and I honked like a mother effer, finally I was like "f*ck that. I'm gonna get the bastard".
So I sped like a mofo but at one point on the two lane road there were two SUVs driving at the speed of lard, and by the time I finally passed them I barely managed to see where Jackass was going, and I coudn't catch up before I lost him. So now i'm pissed at the Jackass who hit my car and the two f*ckers who decided to drive side by side on Felipe.
All I wanted worst case was the Jackass' license plate. All i wanted BEST case was to catch the dude going into a parking lot so I could rip him a new one.
Anyway, I'm in a bad freakin' mood as a result.
To top it off:
In a game that was supposed to be a warm-up for tougher opponents, Switzerland shocked the Canadian men's hockey team 2-0 at the Torino Olympics Saturday morning.
WHAT THE BLEEP. This is turning out to be the worst day ever.
If they actually showed effing hockey games here instead of...the CURLING matches...I might be able to catch these:
They face Finland Sunday (CBC, 3 p.m., EST) and finish against the Czech Republic Tuesday (CBC, 10:30 a.m., EST).
AND...why is it that on my ONE day off of work it has to pour rain? WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I need a mini violin for my sad song.
My question to you Sabina is based on what you've seen of Canadian men and American men, who dresses better (Kraig doesn't count)?
Well...it's a tough call. Really we have to narrow it down between
Ottawa+surrounding areas
San Jose + Bay Area
Orange County
Orange County dudes definitely dress the best, but really there's not much choice. EVERYTHING here is soooo all about appearances, the haves and the have nots (okay...the "haves and have not"...since i'm the only "have not" here clearly).
Next is Ottawa, however that's brutal because you have to give some slack to people who have to deal with extreme elements (crazy snow and crazy rain)...I mean, after awhile you can't keep caring about how you look when it's effing freezing outside, you're a walking static machine, and salt has chewed away at your leather boots.
Last are the folks in northern cali...and you'd like to think that San Francisco being the uber gay community and all that MAYBE guys would dress better, but since I didn't live in SF, and San Jose and SF are SOOOOO worlds apart, I can't factor in the folks who live there. But the Bay Area...oh my GOD. Men can't dress worth ((bleep)). It's all about the free tshirt, it's all about what you can wash in one big load (what? Separate whites from darks? Dry cleaners? IRONING? )...
I don't think I would have noticed how bad it was if I hadn't moved directly from northern cali to southern california...but it's like an entirely different country here.
On an unrelated note, I kinda do miss the Bay Area....almost everyone's a transplant and most people your age are all that same point in life, not like here where you're loaded if you were smart enough to buy a house 3 years ago...I don't know. Sometimes I think nothing is more fabulous than living in Southern California, other times I'm already mentally preparing to move again (or the argument to Kraig to move to Canada....)...
This was a useless post, I realize that. I'm just in a bad frickin' mood over the car thing, plus using my "need to use up" vacation day on a day where it poured rain.
I was driving home and some dude passed the car next to me and clipped mine. He scraped a chunk of paint off my side mirror.
Now anyone who's seen my car knows that there's probably more grey than white on it at this point, but it's one thing when it's MY fault...it's another when it's some jackass.
The dude totally sped off, and I honked like a mother effer, finally I was like "f*ck that. I'm gonna get the bastard".
So I sped like a mofo but at one point on the two lane road there were two SUVs driving at the speed of lard, and by the time I finally passed them I barely managed to see where Jackass was going, and I coudn't catch up before I lost him. So now i'm pissed at the Jackass who hit my car and the two f*ckers who decided to drive side by side on Felipe.
All I wanted worst case was the Jackass' license plate. All i wanted BEST case was to catch the dude going into a parking lot so I could rip him a new one.
Anyway, I'm in a bad freakin' mood as a result.
To top it off:
In a game that was supposed to be a warm-up for tougher opponents, Switzerland shocked the Canadian men's hockey team 2-0 at the Torino Olympics Saturday morning.
WHAT THE BLEEP. This is turning out to be the worst day ever.
If they actually showed effing hockey games here instead of...the CURLING matches...I might be able to catch these:
They face Finland Sunday (CBC, 3 p.m., EST) and finish against the Czech Republic Tuesday (CBC, 10:30 a.m., EST).
AND...why is it that on my ONE day off of work it has to pour rain? WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I need a mini violin for my sad song.
My question to you Sabina is based on what you've seen of Canadian men and American men, who dresses better (Kraig doesn't count)?
Well...it's a tough call. Really we have to narrow it down between
Ottawa+surrounding areas
San Jose + Bay Area
Orange County
Orange County dudes definitely dress the best, but really there's not much choice. EVERYTHING here is soooo all about appearances, the haves and the have nots (okay...the "haves and have not"...since i'm the only "have not" here clearly).
Next is Ottawa, however that's brutal because you have to give some slack to people who have to deal with extreme elements (crazy snow and crazy rain)...I mean, after awhile you can't keep caring about how you look when it's effing freezing outside, you're a walking static machine, and salt has chewed away at your leather boots.
Last are the folks in northern cali...and you'd like to think that San Francisco being the uber gay community and all that MAYBE guys would dress better, but since I didn't live in SF, and San Jose and SF are SOOOOO worlds apart, I can't factor in the folks who live there. But the Bay Area...oh my GOD. Men can't dress worth ((bleep)). It's all about the free tshirt, it's all about what you can wash in one big load (what? Separate whites from darks? Dry cleaners? IRONING? )...
I don't think I would have noticed how bad it was if I hadn't moved directly from northern cali to southern california...but it's like an entirely different country here.
On an unrelated note, I kinda do miss the Bay Area....almost everyone's a transplant and most people your age are all that same point in life, not like here where you're loaded if you were smart enough to buy a house 3 years ago...I don't know. Sometimes I think nothing is more fabulous than living in Southern California, other times I'm already mentally preparing to move again (or the argument to Kraig to move to Canada....)...
This was a useless post, I realize that. I'm just in a bad frickin' mood over the car thing, plus using my "need to use up" vacation day on a day where it poured rain.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
The Guide - American Style (Esquire some more)
More from Esquire....What Women Want Their Men To Wear as per their survery in Marie Claire, O, and Harper's Bazaar.
(not going to type the whole thing, just snippets)
1. I prefer a man's legs in:
b) Levi's (80%)
I dunno, Chinos was an option and sometimes a dude can look pretty sharp in a pair of chinos. But yeah when in doubt...jeans jeans jeans.
2. The most flattering color a man can wear is:
a) Blue (41.9%)
well geezus pink was 12.9%...wtf is wrong with women out there?!! At least 35.5% wrote "whatever matches his eyes", which I'll agree with.
3. The sexiest thing a man can wear is:
b) Rugged jeans and a plain white tshirt (67.7%)
Yeah that's good in theory...but like a tux got 22.6%, and for me personally i think tuxes look HOT as hell on guys, only because it is so, so very rare that you see them in it. THe only time I"ll ever see Kraig in one is if I look at our wedding pics, and I thought he looked FANTASTIC in a tux. I wouldn't want to see it every day...but...when it happens, it makes WAY more of an impact than jeans a tshirt. AND...don't be dissing the boxer-briefs (6.5%), some of us are suckers for those Calvins too.
4. I like it when he smells like
a) Nothing (58.1%)
Yeah...kinda...once again...it depends. We all know there's some scents...where if a stranger at the mall has it on, it reminds us of a certain boy from our past, and we drool....Aqua di Gio always makes my heart skip a beat, as does Chanel Egoiste, even though I don't think I really liked either on the boy in question.
5. If i could change one thing abuot my man's style, it would be:
d) I'd give away his double-pleasted pants and buy him flat fronts (35.5%)
Good LORD i wouldn't let those pants through the front door. No wait, Kraig might have a few old pairs in the back of the closet. Dammit. Gonna have to look into this tonight.
6. When I see a guy in sandals, I think:
a) A simple flip-flop will do 61.3%
ummm i'm with option b, which was "he's coming nowhere NEAR my uterus"....i mean, sports sandals are okay if necessary (like the beach or we're traveling somewhere HOT)...otherwise...um yeah no. Heck, i think flip flops are worse than sport sandals.
7. My favorite thing to borrow from my man is:
a) His worn-out button-down shirt.
Um yeah Kraig's got like all of 4 button down shirts, and they're all new. So that's not happening. None of the options listed would work for me...the only thing I like to borrow is the FCUK jacket we bought in san francisco a few years ago (but not something i would wear normally, it's huge on me).
8. The most common male fashion crime I witness on a regular basis is:
b) pants that are too short 32.3%
OMG are you kidding me? I work in TECH! We should have an in-house prison for the crimes of fashion here. What's not on the list: nasty freebie computer tshirts. In the Bay area someone once told me it was only tacky to wear your OWN company's shirt, and from a geek perspective I'll give that as the bare bones minimum. BUT...we all know you got those shirts for free...they're only good for cleaning the car or cleaning the toilet (and i don't mean WEARING them for those chores....)
9. A man who dresses better than me:
d) is generally not interested in dating my gender 51.6%
I agree 100%. Think CLUELESS (Cher)...."I suppose. He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?". A dude's gotta be a LITTLE sloppy sometimes, to keep up his testosterone levels.
10. My man looks best in:
a) Sneakers 35.5%
I dunno, Kraig's got these spiffy brown oxford Sketchers that I totally dig. Sneakers make me think of little boys.
11. I like it best when he comes to bed wearing:
b) Just boxers 67.7%
You know, i would PREFER it if he wore PJs ('cause then he'd be warmer, and i'd then be warmer)....but no self-respecting man would do that. I'll accept PJ bottoms for dudes who live in sub zero climate. Think twice about being with a dude who wears full-on PJs to bed.
12. I like his jeans to fit
b) LIke Brad Pitt's in thelma and louise 83.9%
Ummmm i'm a disgrace to my gender...but I never saw the whole movie. But either way, I like straight leg but kinda baggy-ish but not TOO baggy.
13. The acceptable dollar amount for a man to spend on a haircut is:
b) $50 41.9%
You know, this is a tough call. I dated a dude who had massively curly hair, and he used to go to this cheap barber across the street 'cause he was the only one who could cut it right. And guys' hair grows so fast, it makes no diff really. $50 seems kind of high if you're just going to say "#2 on top, #3 on the sides"...but $15 seems way to cheap....more like $25-$30 i would think? But that wasn't an option...
14. My favorite kind of suit on a man is a:
b) 3 button (51.6%)
I agree 100%!!!
15. My fav type of men's shirt is:
c) A plain white tshirt 42%
egads i can't believe some people voted "a taut, ribbed tank top that shows off his guns"...how white trash ARE Marie Claire readers?! Compared to the other options, yeah this is the best one...the other choices were a little...girly....
16. My favorite pattern for a men's tie is:
c) plain, with texture 71%
Yeah..but the "collegiate stripe" isn't THAT bad...not ideal, but you gotta make sure the plain color looks sharp...and with a single color, it CAN look off.
17. My favorite man in uniform is:
c) Fireman 51.6%
OH heck no...i'll take the Naval Officer or Policeman any day...and by policeman i mean the old skool type, not the CHP Chips style....no wait forget that, Naval Officer all the way.
18. If my man asked me to pick one style icon for him to emulate, I would pick:
b) George Clooney
Well Tom Wolfe as an option is a bit of a dandy....Johnny is too all over the map...and he's not hip enough to pull off Kanye West (all the layers)...yeah I'll take George, which pretty much are just suits...
19. An averge man becomes instantly bed-worthy when:
d) He jsut doesn't give a damn 32.3%
YES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES...
ALthough only 6.5% said "he displays finely manicured hands", and I am the BIGGEST sucker for nice hands (along with great shoulders and the back of a neck"...I'm telling you, a certain friend of mine (Bryan, think of yer boy who works at HD) acts like he doesn't give a f*ck, like he has the biggest man-meat in the room, and i don't think he even knows he does this...and yet, i swear, it's effing HOT as hell.
20. A man should dress for:
d) HImself 61.3%
yeah that's good in theory. what is WRONG with women who answer polls?! If you leave a guy to his own, if women made NO diference...they'd all be wearing their free computer tshirts and track pants. PLEASE..."Me" with 35.5% is the right option....think about it. If it were up to me, I'd wear my Lion King boxer shorts and a soft cheap tshirt every day....if the entire world were BLIND we wouldn't dress for looks half as much as we do now....A man should never ever be left to dress for himself! Oh the humanity.
AND...before any guy says he's got great taste in style...please. If chicks didn't exist...y'all would be lucky if you ever did your laundry.
(not going to type the whole thing, just snippets)
1. I prefer a man's legs in:
b) Levi's (80%)
I dunno, Chinos was an option and sometimes a dude can look pretty sharp in a pair of chinos. But yeah when in doubt...jeans jeans jeans.
2. The most flattering color a man can wear is:
a) Blue (41.9%)
well geezus pink was 12.9%...wtf is wrong with women out there?!! At least 35.5% wrote "whatever matches his eyes", which I'll agree with.
3. The sexiest thing a man can wear is:
b) Rugged jeans and a plain white tshirt (67.7%)
Yeah that's good in theory...but like a tux got 22.6%, and for me personally i think tuxes look HOT as hell on guys, only because it is so, so very rare that you see them in it. THe only time I"ll ever see Kraig in one is if I look at our wedding pics, and I thought he looked FANTASTIC in a tux. I wouldn't want to see it every day...but...when it happens, it makes WAY more of an impact than jeans a tshirt. AND...don't be dissing the boxer-briefs (6.5%), some of us are suckers for those Calvins too.
4. I like it when he smells like
a) Nothing (58.1%)
Yeah...kinda...once again...it depends. We all know there's some scents...where if a stranger at the mall has it on, it reminds us of a certain boy from our past, and we drool....Aqua di Gio always makes my heart skip a beat, as does Chanel Egoiste, even though I don't think I really liked either on the boy in question.
5. If i could change one thing abuot my man's style, it would be:
d) I'd give away his double-pleasted pants and buy him flat fronts (35.5%)
Good LORD i wouldn't let those pants through the front door. No wait, Kraig might have a few old pairs in the back of the closet. Dammit. Gonna have to look into this tonight.
6. When I see a guy in sandals, I think:
a) A simple flip-flop will do 61.3%
ummm i'm with option b, which was "he's coming nowhere NEAR my uterus"....i mean, sports sandals are okay if necessary (like the beach or we're traveling somewhere HOT)...otherwise...um yeah no. Heck, i think flip flops are worse than sport sandals.
7. My favorite thing to borrow from my man is:
a) His worn-out button-down shirt.
Um yeah Kraig's got like all of 4 button down shirts, and they're all new. So that's not happening. None of the options listed would work for me...the only thing I like to borrow is the FCUK jacket we bought in san francisco a few years ago (but not something i would wear normally, it's huge on me).
8. The most common male fashion crime I witness on a regular basis is:
b) pants that are too short 32.3%
OMG are you kidding me? I work in TECH! We should have an in-house prison for the crimes of fashion here. What's not on the list: nasty freebie computer tshirts. In the Bay area someone once told me it was only tacky to wear your OWN company's shirt, and from a geek perspective I'll give that as the bare bones minimum. BUT...we all know you got those shirts for free...they're only good for cleaning the car or cleaning the toilet (and i don't mean WEARING them for those chores....)
9. A man who dresses better than me:
d) is generally not interested in dating my gender 51.6%
I agree 100%. Think CLUELESS (Cher)...."I suppose. He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?". A dude's gotta be a LITTLE sloppy sometimes, to keep up his testosterone levels.
10. My man looks best in:
a) Sneakers 35.5%
I dunno, Kraig's got these spiffy brown oxford Sketchers that I totally dig. Sneakers make me think of little boys.
11. I like it best when he comes to bed wearing:
b) Just boxers 67.7%
You know, i would PREFER it if he wore PJs ('cause then he'd be warmer, and i'd then be warmer)....but no self-respecting man would do that. I'll accept PJ bottoms for dudes who live in sub zero climate. Think twice about being with a dude who wears full-on PJs to bed.
12. I like his jeans to fit
b) LIke Brad Pitt's in thelma and louise 83.9%
Ummmm i'm a disgrace to my gender...but I never saw the whole movie. But either way, I like straight leg but kinda baggy-ish but not TOO baggy.
13. The acceptable dollar amount for a man to spend on a haircut is:
b) $50 41.9%
You know, this is a tough call. I dated a dude who had massively curly hair, and he used to go to this cheap barber across the street 'cause he was the only one who could cut it right. And guys' hair grows so fast, it makes no diff really. $50 seems kind of high if you're just going to say "#2 on top, #3 on the sides"...but $15 seems way to cheap....more like $25-$30 i would think? But that wasn't an option...
14. My favorite kind of suit on a man is a:
b) 3 button (51.6%)
I agree 100%!!!
15. My fav type of men's shirt is:
c) A plain white tshirt 42%
egads i can't believe some people voted "a taut, ribbed tank top that shows off his guns"...how white trash ARE Marie Claire readers?! Compared to the other options, yeah this is the best one...the other choices were a little...girly....
16. My favorite pattern for a men's tie is:
c) plain, with texture 71%
Yeah..but the "collegiate stripe" isn't THAT bad...not ideal, but you gotta make sure the plain color looks sharp...and with a single color, it CAN look off.
17. My favorite man in uniform is:
c) Fireman 51.6%
OH heck no...i'll take the Naval Officer or Policeman any day...and by policeman i mean the old skool type, not the CHP Chips style....no wait forget that, Naval Officer all the way.
18. If my man asked me to pick one style icon for him to emulate, I would pick:
b) George Clooney
Well Tom Wolfe as an option is a bit of a dandy....Johnny is too all over the map...and he's not hip enough to pull off Kanye West (all the layers)...yeah I'll take George, which pretty much are just suits...
19. An averge man becomes instantly bed-worthy when:
d) He jsut doesn't give a damn 32.3%
YES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES EYS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES...
ALthough only 6.5% said "he displays finely manicured hands", and I am the BIGGEST sucker for nice hands (along with great shoulders and the back of a neck"...I'm telling you, a certain friend of mine (Bryan, think of yer boy who works at HD) acts like he doesn't give a f*ck, like he has the biggest man-meat in the room, and i don't think he even knows he does this...and yet, i swear, it's effing HOT as hell.
20. A man should dress for:
d) HImself 61.3%
yeah that's good in theory. what is WRONG with women who answer polls?! If you leave a guy to his own, if women made NO diference...they'd all be wearing their free computer tshirts and track pants. PLEASE..."Me" with 35.5% is the right option....think about it. If it were up to me, I'd wear my Lion King boxer shorts and a soft cheap tshirt every day....if the entire world were BLIND we wouldn't dress for looks half as much as we do now....A man should never ever be left to dress for himself! Oh the humanity.
AND...before any guy says he's got great taste in style...please. If chicks didn't exist...y'all would be lucky if you ever did your laundry.
Quickie blog
OMG how fantastic is Badgley Mischka:
New Ads
Inspired by The Shining?
They did a wedding gown that I would have given Kraig's left nut for back when I was engaged...um yeah like I'd ever in my life be able to afford it. But it was GORGEOUS.
I'd die for Ashley's dress...
Working in a male-dominated field...you really wanna bust out and be girly girl sometimes, but when I do I feel like i'm playing dress up or like I'm some little girl in the sea of...ugly nerds.
New Ads
Inspired by The Shining?
They did a wedding gown that I would have given Kraig's left nut for back when I was engaged...um yeah like I'd ever in my life be able to afford it. But it was GORGEOUS.
I'd die for Ashley's dress...
Working in a male-dominated field...you really wanna bust out and be girly girl sometimes, but when I do I feel like i'm playing dress up or like I'm some little girl in the sea of...ugly nerds.
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