My niece kicks ass

Check out my niece...she's frickin' gorgeous. And it helps that she looks IDENTICAL to how i looked (and sounded) at that age.


Online Videos by Veoh.com

Picture post...

Here's a link to pics from last night, for anyone who might be bored enough to go through them...my friend Janet just ran a marathon, is moving to Santa Barbara, and had a birthday all within the same 2 week period...
Shutterfly bitches!


Also fyi to anyone reading this from Facebook: just go straight to the source, Blogger link.

That's right bitches!

Yeahhhh...take a look at the bottom of the page to the HELOC paydown...three digits! The goal was to pay down $15k in 2007, and it's almost done.

Not that it makes a diff...this was the recommendation of Countrywide last year (to pay down $30k of my home equity loan before the rest of the loan is set to switch over at the end of 2009, i.e: pay down 15k per year for two years). Realistically, I think I'd need to pay down another $70k if I had to refinance tomorrow.

So seriously, please...just everyone foreclose already! Get it over with! Let's get the worst of it over with.

In other news, I switched jobs again. As usual, not going to post details here but if you want to know the scoop, email me. If you don't know my email, then GOOD...I don't want no stalkers anyway!

A few seriously random thoughts:

- hummus from Daphne's is like magic in my mouth. It's mouth porn.

- I can't WAIT for the next iteration of America's Best Dance Crew. The last round was absolutely incredible.

- Diet Pepsi trumps Diet Coke all the way

- I'm so annoyed that Barrack Obama hand bumping his wife is actually considered a news-worthy story

- I fantasize on so many levels how much things would be better if I just won a $100k lottery. That's it. That's all I need. I'd LIKE more, but beggers can't be choosers, and $100k after taxes would be wonderful.

- I think I found a grey hair today. I was FREAKING out. I'm going to play ignorant until this weekend, then I'm going to go on a rampage. Getting grey hair is a million times worse than a wrinkle...it's like finding out you're in menopause. But at least menopause isn't displayed all over your scalp for the whole world to see how old you are.

Going to take a nap now. I actually get home at a decent time now where I can nap! Justin can bring sexy back, but I'm bringing napping back!

Letter to Us Weekly

Dear writers, editors, and other staff at US Weekly:

Let me begin to say that I highly enjoy your literary piece of fluff. I prefer it over People, which to me has too many stories about "real" people (if I wanted to read about a cancer kid who raised money and helped others, I'd read Newsweek. I read gossip mags to read about all that is evil and vapid about the world). For awhile it was the highlight of my week, getting your issue in the mail and waiting to read it at the gym, going page-by-ad-laden-page.

I'm okay when you guys go directly to the source instead of running off the gossip mill. I was okay when you had numerous articles about Jessica and Nick (how the tales of marriages woes were untrue. Hey, we all knew they were denying like mad).

What I do take issue with (ha ha bad pun) is when you cover stories about reality shows like The Hills. Unless you're discussing LC's fashion line, her alleged sex tape, or when the new season will start, I don't want to read it.

Let's make something very clear: the audience, whether 12 or 112, knows its scripted. So your cover stories about "The Plot To Destroy Lauren" are as much of an insult to your readers as a cover saying "Lynette battles cancer while Bree makes muffins" or "Kate's love triange: Sawyer speaks out". There is no plot to destroy Lauren. Heidi does not have heartache. Heidi speaks out "Why I called off my wedding" is very clear: the show told me to.

Let's go over last week's issue: Heidi Asks For a Ring: I'm Ready to Say I Do! Are you effing kidding me?! In case you didn't notice, throughout this season outside of the realm of MTV we have seen Spencer and Heidi pose shamelessly for the paparazzi, canoodling like mad. Were we really supposed to believe they broke up? And funny how nowhere in the show while there's all this alleged drama, MTV never showed them film via handycam Heidi's ghetto video. Nay, it's pretty safe to say that nothing on The Hills is a reflection of their true life, unless you want to factor in bathing and drinking.

So in case I haven't made it clear to you US Weekly, let me spell it out: IT'S NOT REAL. It's not even ALLEGEDLY real (hey, that's why we buy your mags. For the possibility of it being real). If I want a make-believe plotline, I'll read Soap Opera Digest.

Do you need more help? Let's go through this:
Heidi and LC were friends (allegedly true)
LC and Speidi get in a fight (sure, good enough for me, it's still season 1)
Speidi is no longer a part of LC's life, so Speidi must come up with a reason to be entertaining to be a part of The Hills (now we start entering "make believe" land)
Spencer proposes to Heidi (scripted)
Heidi says yes (scripted to match the fake ring)
Spencer and Heidi have drama (scripted)
repeat above line a few times
oh no, they have no interaction with LC, how to still be a part of the hills?
Spencer's sister (aka She-Pratt) attends LC's fashion class (scripted)
Spencer is SOOOO angry against She-Pratt. (scripted)
Heidi is soooo angry against She-Pratt (scripted)
Spencer gets back together with Heidi. (scripted)
Heidi is ready to get married (scripted)

Do you notice all the SCRIPTEDs above?! THe best part was when Spencer moved in with She-Pratt...it was like an episode of Three's Company, I was ready for the landlord with the flowery neckties to show up and think Spencer was gay. ("Come and knock on our door...")

So i plead with you...stop airing articles from a scripted show if it's about the plotline (marriage? no. new fashion line? yes.) and please, PLEASE stop showing pictures from their "romantic" vacation...they're so staged they might as well have a set designer and list of all poses required for each photoshoot.

Sincerely,

A devoted US Weekly reader that doesn't want to be insulted anymore with your unreal stories. I like my tales to have "alleged" in front of the headlines.

Scariest corporate mascots

I'm copping out by just linking to another article, but if you don't have time to read the whole thing at the very least read the very first item (#7) and watch the Jolly Green Giant commercial circa 19-something-before-color-tv...scary crap man!
top 7 most terrifying corporate mascots of all time

Long time no post...

I've got ALOT of crap in my head, with no time or energy to write. Sorry. Suck it.

Just wanted to post one of the funniest convos I've had in awhile, courtesy of Carrie (while discussing the drones who work for the TSA):

me: "Don't hate the playa, hate the game"
Carrie: "I hate the player AND the game!"

Yo...help a sistah out...

My friend Janet needs to get another $400 for her marathon...donate some money and get some good karma (and a nice email from her) in return...


http://www.active.com/donate/tntors/JPudelko

Movie Review: Alpha Dog

Yeah, I watched two movies this weekend. Well actually 3, I finally saw "Airplane!" which yes, i've never seen. Suck it.

Alpha Dog, in a nutshell, is a f*cked up movie.

That's it. That's all I gotta say really. Oh it also features Ben Foster, who I noted in my previous post plays nutty/psycho guy REALLY well.

Another movie I'd recommend, if you're in the mood for gratuitous drug use, smoking, swearing, nudity, and sweaty guys freaking out with guns in their hands wiping goo off their faces. And seriously I do recommend it. I liked it.

Movie Review: 3:10 to Yuma

As usual, I need to start this movie review with a disclaimer:

I can't stand westerns. I really, really can't stand them. And it's for the most retarded of reasons: I can't tell anyone apart. Somehow the yellow cast of the filming with the brown/yellow dirty clothes and cowboy hats makes it so that I can't tell who's who unless it happens to be someone pretty famous. So if I'm watching an older Western, forget it: other than Clint Eastwood I won't know who's the bad guy vs. the good guy.

And all that "I reckon" talk just pops a big ol' question mark over my head.

That being said, "3:10 to Yuma" has enough famous people in it for me to tell the difference. One of the true stars of the movie is Ben Foster. That dude plays crazy REALLY well. He recently was on My Name is Earl as the nutty guy who Earl's afraid of in jail. He played another nutty druggie guy in Alpha Dog. Ben Foster plays nutty so well, I fail to believe he's actually a normal dude in real life; if I saw him in the grocery store I'd run out of that Albertsons clutching my purse.

The concept is pretty good: good guy must get bad guy to a train heading to prison at 3:10...while a billion badasses are trying to kill you to get their bad guy leader back. Christian Bale is a big favorite of mine (he did American Psycho soooo well, and I had intended on hating him before I even saw the movie because I fell in love with the character from the book), but he really does do a fantastic job in the movie.

I actually would recommend this flick if you want to mix it up a little, get your violence on, and root for the good AND bad guys.

Smo fo buttah layin' to the bone, jackin' me up...tightly!

Once again I'm in one of those modes where I don't feel like anything I'm thinking about is worth typing, let alone worth it for anyone reading.

We're back to ANOTHER round of home improvement woes, today's problem: the garbage disposal is leaking. Now the problem with leaks is that they go relatively unnoticed until weeks later, you run the water for a long time, and you finally see a pile of water at your feet. By then the stuff in your cupboard, and the cupboards themselves, are slimy wet. In the case of the garbage disposal...well you can imagine the beauty that comes out of that sucker.

Typically I call Saddleback Plumbing. Why? Because they're the only ones I can think of because they spam me with so many $12 coupons (excellent marketing on their part). But today I thought of the Mike Diamond commercials ("we guarantee our plumbers will be on time and smell good"). Their customer service is fantastic, the only problem is that they couldn't get anyone in today. That means I now have to argue like crazy to have them come after 6pm during the week, or tough it out till next week (the most likely solution). Blegh. Home ownership blows for the most part.

Then again, so does renting. I just need to find a cardboard box and pimp it out.

To change topics...
Some people have a life slogan, other people have something they'd want written on their headstone...I may have found my little "quote of the day", as written to Kelly and Erica the other day (the topic: Spencer Pratt actually being correct in an argument against Heidi Montag).

I dig it. 'Cause as much as we all love to hate him...he's right. And I love it when people we hate are right. Like, if Hitler was preaching about spaying/neutering your pets, I'd be in heaven.

Maybe i'll put that on a tshirt.

Why I want to stab my eyes...

I went to a software project estimation thing today (yeah, on a Saturday...at 8am...up in Long Beach...), and driving back I was forced to see a sight that i'd like to forget, if only someone can figure out how to suck the memory out through my ear canal.

Picture it:
I'm driving along my merry way, pretty tired 'cause I woke up at 6am, driving in the right lane 'cause I'm getting on my exit...
All the cars are slowed to a crawl, which doesn't phase me much 'cause my exit somehow manages to be some bizarro traffic zone (it's the same spot where those 3 kids from Ladera Rach died in a single accident last year).
Low and behold, the reason why all the cars are driving at the speed of lard: an SUV is parked on the side of the road, and a woman is outside of it...bare assed...URINATING.

Urinating ALOT. Like a dog (except she was peeing more like my cats do). Thing is, I was so tired i wasn't really thinking and I was wondering what this woman was doing (like did she lose something on the ground...was she puking...wtf was she going) until I realize I'm staring at her bare ugly ass and the liquid coming out of her.

Bare asses when not on set (i.e. covered with makeup or airbrushed) are NASTY looking.

And since we were driving so slow, I was forced to see this scene for a second longer than I would have LIKED to (it's not like you can close your eyes while driving).

I'm terrified that my brain won't forget that image, and that this awful sight will take the spot where a wonderful memory once was.

Best of craigslist...

I rarely go through the Best of Craigslist, mostly 'cause it's a time suck and because after awhile I become mentally unphased by anything i read.

However I came across this Best Of entry and can't stop laughing.

Item #5 may very well be the most hilarious thing ever written...ever:
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja.

I don't know why I can't stop laughing.

Movie Review: August Rush

Review of August Rush, starring Felicity and the dude from Bend it Like Beckham.

I only added this to my Netflix queue 'cause Season 2 of The Tudors isn't out on DVD yet and I needed another Jonathan Rhys-Myers fix.

The music is very good, Robin Williams is creepy, Jonathan RM is crazy hot even though he really should just keep his mouth shut...and Keri Russell does the EXACT same stupid mouth thing that makes me dislike Scarlett Johanson.



That half-open pout that denotes wonder and awe. Can't stand it. Anyway, I liked Felicity so I'll cut her some slack.

What rating out of ten would I give this movie? Whatever review you'd give a movie that you would watch on tv if it's 3am and you can't get to sleep. Or if you've got a hard-on for Jonathan Rhys-Myers playing a rocker-turned-San-Francisco-Executive.

Prelim review: Carbonite

So I'm sure in my random bitching I've demonstrated the bad luck with computers Kraig and I have had the past few months. (NOt to be confused with the plumbing problems, which surprise surprise, the knob shower situation is jacked up again and we're showering in the cats bathroom once more..but that's another blog for another time)...

I had researched external CD/DVD burners (because part of the computer problems I've had is having internal burners not working...better off having an external one that won't be impacted by internal issues)...I definitely wasn't going to go with an external hard drive after the WD MyBook fiasco as well. Anyway, yadda yadda, I decided maybe Carbonite would be the ultimate way to go, just effing pay someone else to deal with my problem.

So here's my review so far...

You can a free one month trial, so thumbs-up for the cost factor so far (sort of hard to complain when worst case, you get what you pay for**). Initially you select the file or folder you want to back up, right click, then select Carbonite-->Back Up This File.

**side note: now logic would tell you that you don't pay anything for spyware or viruses, so that's not the worst case. However I would argue that someone else using your computer for malicious purposes is more like, THEY should be paying YOU...and since they're not, then that's NEGATIVE money which is even worse. So worst case with something like Carbonite is that it doesn't work...they didn't benefit from you, you didn't benefit from them.

After that Carbonite just runs in the background backing up the files, and alerts you with a little green icon when it's all done. They warn you that initially it'll take a boatload of time, and then after that as you modify files it just automatically backs up, no action needed.

Now I didn't truly take the time to assess their fine print. Online reviews warned me that you have to manually push video files (since I have zero video files on the computer in question, I didn't care). Same for executables (once again, not something I was worried about). The problem? I didn't note how you also had to manually push files over 4k in size.

I have a gazillion mp3s from my Napster days, and almost all are over 4k in size each. So here I was all happy thinking my files had finally been updated, a little ghetto green dot was placed on the mp3 folder indicating my files had been uploaded...and then I realized that it had only uploaded small playlist files.

So there was my dilemma...was I going to right-click and manually push each and every one of those mp3s? Well the moron that I am actually attempted to this, and realized that the RIAA was going to find me long before I actually finished up.


In my infinite wisdom, I decided the way to go would be to zip a given music folder, and the push the single zip file.

Riiggght. Did I mention that this was at like 2am on Saturday night? Did I mention that this is for the older computer that we used because the "good" PC's hard drive went dead, and now it's fixed but contains no personal files?

Zipping A music folder containing a zillion files over 4k each, let alone MANY folders, on a computer that moves at the speed of molasses combined with the stress of Carbonite running in the background made for a painful, PAINFUL process.

Well that's pretty much all I can review so far. The trial runs out in 2 weeks, so eventually I'll get off my fat ass to nag at my husband to carry the "good" PC upstairs so we can try the next phase: Operation Copy My Music Back To Me.

Imaginationland....

So i have to give serious props to Matt and Trey...of South Park, naturally. Tonight's Major Boobage episode was effing awesome...and I've never even seen Heavy Metal, the movie this episodes parodies.

Let's do a recap of times South Park has mimicked other animation styles:
(in no particular order):

1. Make Love, not Warcraft
This was more genius than funny, although Kenny wanting to play Hello Kitty Island Adventure still busts me up every time.

2. Simpsons Did It
I love love LOVE the Simpsons, so combining my two favorite adult cartoons is like pure heaven.


3. Family Guy...
I don't remember the name of the episode, but it was the one where Cartman tries to stop Family Guy from airing an image of Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). Since I'm not a huge Family Guy fan, I respect Cartman's auth-o-ri-teyyy .

A side note: for some reason as much as I don't like Family Guy, I actually really like American Dad.

4. Fun With Weapons
I don't care so much for the animation of this episode, however it's one of my favorites just because Butters takes a chinese star right in the eye. It's awesome.


5. Major Boobage
I couldn't find any pics online yet (since it just aired this evening), so here's a small clip from SouthPark.com


Only one more week to wait for another episode...tonight's compensated for the depressing Britney episode from last week...don't be makin' me feel guilty 'cause I'm Britney-obsessed like everyone else....

Foiled again by this thing called life

Have you ever just wanted to catch a frickin' break!?!

So I got Kraig an in-car GPS thing, as an early anniversary gift as well as a "thank you for getting nose surgery for me so I can finally sleep"...i did a crapload of research, and it seemed like Garmin with MSN Direct for traffic was the way to go.

Ummm, yeah. NEVER have I had a problem relating to finding anything...i'm right in the middle of San Diego and Los Angeles, two of the most major cities in the US. As far as I'm concerned, the whole world revolves around California (in case anyone cares, OC to LA is like..San Jose to San Francisco...)...

Well go figure. MSN Direct works perfectly in LA. In San Diego. Apparenly in NORTHERN orange county.

Going south, it stops in Tustin.

WTF.

This is of zero help for Kraig, who needs to know like 10 exits before that if he should get on the 5 or the 405.

Returning that sucker will be a bitch (online purchase), but I tried to find another GPS device that had good reviews AND had definite coverage in South OC and I couldn't find anything online. Oh and apparently this OC thing is a big mishap on MSN's part.

So...now do I return it, or do I have him keep in hopes that eventually they'll expand their coverage? In the meantime, it DOES provide real-time gas prices and movie listings...

Seriously MSN...you provide traffic updates for f*cking Riverside but you don't for OC?!

When will companies realize that they need to cater to me and my needs before those of others? Geezus.

Dear USPS....

Dear United States Postal Service,

I get that in the grand scheme of things, you're still just a governmental agency. I get that you have to raise the price of stamps, and I get that you have to be closed on Sundays and hours outside of business hours (which always surprises me, organizations that are purely service-based should work the OPPOSITE hours of people who work in the product industry. But whatever).

I know you've got some stiff competition with UPS and FedEx and that other one that starts with a "D".

I figure you guys took a hit when people stopped writing by hand and started emailing people. Seriously, if you think about it, that's probably ALOT of dough lost. But in return, you guys are making BANK off online sales. You guys get a decent chunk of my cash as a result of online sales I make.

I was so excited when you guys allowed people to print postage at home. And for times where I couldn't do that, your Automated Postal Machine Doodads that work 24/7 were also life saviors.

Then...this week...I discovered the stupid sticker you have on your mail slots for packages: anything over 13 ounces now has to be physically handed to a USPS counter person due to "security" concerns (really? Sounds like a fantastic challenge for some dude to create a 12oz bomb). Plus, just because you put a little sign on there saying "13oz only" doesn't mean someone with a 5lbs package of anthrax will stop and say "damn! So much for popping this baby in the mail chute".

I can't begin to explain what a pain in the ass this has been for me. If I have to actually be at a post office during your retarded hours, then I might as well not bother printing postage at home or through your so-called automated device.

One step forward, eight steps back...way to go USPS.

Another Letter to the Editor

You and your husband don't have any computer nerd friends that can help you out?? Between Ray and I we fix our share of computers for friends. Sounds like a weekend fix'er upper. :)

Dude, this IS all we know thanks to people who are total techies (and i'd like to think that have a B.Sc. in Computer Science gives me some street cred myself)...this is the end result of taking PCs and hard drives and everything to every tech person I know, including my last company's IT department.

EVERY single one of the hard drives from all of our sources has completely gone to crap, i.e. stopped spinning...once that happens, you're outta luck.

I started researching external DVD burners so I can back this stuff up to a format that won't get jacked up (i.e. something without internal components that can get screwy), but then I think we're going to go with an external company that does data backup as a service. I was thinking Carbonite, and it turns out that at the memorial service I went to today I spoke with someone who said that they've been using Carbonite for over a year and they love it...so I think that's the way to go. Plus for $50 a YEAR...that's a pretty sweet deal for unlimited stuff.

Of Life and Death

Today I went to a memorial-slash-life-celebration for a friend's grandmother up in LA. I guess I'm pretty lucky that in my life so far I haven't had to go to that many services (the only true funeral-type that I went to was for a friend's boyfriend in highschool, Bryan i know you know who i'm talking about, and that was just bizarre 'cause I just went to the wake which no one warned me i'd see a BODY...anyway...), so the times I do go I tend to get emotional pretty easily.

I can truly say this will go down in history as the best memorial service ever. Not so much because of the surroundings or the food or any of that (although I'm pretty sure they snuck some crack into their sandwiches, I seriously inhaled at least a dozen, and it was all absolutely gorgeous), but because everyone had so much to say and their comments showed what an absolutely incredible woman my friend's grandmother was.

The best part I think was the video interview my friend's sister put together shortly before her grandmother died, which is absolutely brilliant...this is now the perfect excuse for me to get a camcorder (side note: were they super expensive in the past? My parents made it sound like a camcorder was thousands of dollars. I went on Amazon and you can get a decent Canon or Sony handycam for under $400. Then again, my mom made the Pizza Hut buffer sound like a month's salary).

During the services I started to wonder...if I died tomorrow, what would people say about me? Or 60 years from now, what would I have done with my life that could possibly make people speak so fondly of me like they did for my friend's grandmother? If i died tomorrow, people would say "Oh, she knew her TV trivia. She had an obsession with pop culture. She could win Vh1's Celebrity Pop Culture challenge. She donated $20 to the Donkey Rescue charity in 2007. She had high anxiety about paying off debt."

Sad, very sad people. So I think I'd like to make it a lifelong goal to live in such a way that my actions will be meaningful to others, that I'll be remembered for more than the girl who freaked out when her interest-only-no-cash-down-house plummeted in value.

Hmmm, let's see how long THAT lasts....

Letter to the editor

I am a guy. I pick my toe nails, drink milk out of the jug and twist the bread and wrap it under to keep it fresh.

GOD i hate when people do that! The only way it stays fresh is if you're already 1/2way through the loaf. If you've only had a few slices, then the "tuck under" concept doesn't keep it fresh! That being said, the end piece can be used as a tab of sorts to maintain some level of freshness.

Bryan, I tottalllly remember our book idea...sadly I think it would have ended up what He's Just Not That Into You later became...