Funny...from Erin....

Ahhhhh this made me laugh so hard, it was worth posting here:

it reminds me of the ghost tour I signed up my grade 11 class to take (it was a walking tour in montreal the old part) any way we showed up and there was no tour guide...i called to complain and get our money back and he said you have to look for the ghosts yourself....no refund! ASS!

Letter to the editor

Um those palm trees should be grandfathered in then,
Unless they just changed some rule in your HOA that says you can't have trees in your back yard patio area.

We can have trees...they just can't be touching any of the structures. Well those effing palm trees have ballooned in the 5 years we've been there, so they're pushng against the fence. Which I understand...I'm just not up for the fight I'm going to have with them when i say that i've rigged it so they're not longer pushing against the fence, they're not TOUCHING the fence...

it's actually not our HOA, but rather, the community management property that gets hired out.

My neighbor had to rip out all of his trees...which i was fine with, his trees would leave itty bitty leaves everywhere on our patio, plus clog up my a/c. Here I was LAUGHING at his plight a month ago...and now I'm stuck in that same boat.

In Olympic news....

Per my last blog posting, the Olympics can suck my balls. I hate summer olympics, they're boring other than to watch some gymnastics stuff which is really like the athletic version of So You Think You Can Dance?

Thus I can't root for Team Canada, if it doesn't involve snow or ice, we suck. I decided on Saturday night that I was going to root for Team P (aka, Team Pakistan), because someone's gotta root for them...well they don't even have a stupid medal.

So I went to the medal standings and decided to go for the ultimate underdog.

That's right. I'm on Team T!
Team Tajikistan all the way! Woo hoo!

I wonder if Old Navy or Roots has any Tajikstan apparel.

F*CK IT

OKAY, FUCK IT:

1.FUCK IT, i'm going to say it, i'm so annoyed when I see people use the speaker feature on their cell phones when driving...but still hold the phone in their hands. And it's only WOMEN who are retarded enough to do this.
The law isn't “don't hold a phone near your head”, it's “hands free”...if the law was that you can't have a headset near your head, then bluetooth devices would be illegal. The key is to keep BOTH hands free when driving and talking.

I don't even care that these people are breaking the law...I care that these women are making my gender look even more stupid by truly not understanding the stupid law. “Oh, if I don't hold it to my head but i speak into the speakerphone, that's within the rules”. Damn i hate women.

Not to be confused with all the texting I do while driving...texting and driving is NOT against the law in California (yet). Driving while distracted, yes. Texting while driving...nope.

2.FUCK IT...i'm sick of the big flippin' 27” tv that's taking up all this room in my bedroom...that monster won't die. My mom got it from Walmart over 10 years on sale for $700 (it was floor model missing the remote)...um yeah I think I can retire it. So I started an automatic savings account to put $50 a month aside and in ONE YEAR i'm getting a fucking flatscreen for the bedroom.
So sick of things on the bedroom floor, that includes TV stands (or drawers that are used to hold tvs).

3.FUCK IT...I'm saying it. Mariah Carey, you look like ass with your Fly Girl circa 1992 short skirts and crop tops. You don't have abs. You got liposuction. It would look SO much better if you just wore tight tops and jeans or something. You don't have the body for the whore outfits. Rihanna has the body. Anyone under 30 has the body. You my dear, DO NOT. Your stomach looks just as bad as Tara Reid's.

4.Fuck it, i'm saying it, 90210 is going to be effing AWESOME. That chick from Nip/Tuck is so easy to hate...she'll do great on it. It might even give Gossip Girls a run for its money.

5.FUCK IT, i'm saying it: I don't give a sh*t about the olympics. Yay for Michael Phelps and his records broken, the guy is a mutant, wtf did you expect?! I'm Canadian, we rule the winter olympics...talk to me in 2 years.

6.FUCK IT...I've got no shame: my Homeowner's Association can suck my balls. They sent me a letter saying I had to immediately rip up my palm trees due to the damage to MY fence. Okay, I get it, but damn people this “immediately” thing is BS. Yeah i'll get right onto the hundreds of dollars that'll cost me to MOVE SOME PALM TREES...i'm so annoyed, i inherited those fucking trees...Kraig rigged it so that they're not longer pressing against the fence, and now the battle of The Horigans vs. The HOA shall begin.

Birthday Pics

Pics from last night, Nicole D's 2nd annual 30th birthday shindig...
Shutterfly Link Here

I feel the need to point out that at the START of the night, my hair looked awesome, totally straight with a hint of wave. This rarely ever works, so damn right i'm going to make a big deal when my hair looks decent (unlike my Comic Con pics, where the humidity made my hair go nuts!)

Comic Con pics

OKAY...finally...
Here's the pics from Comic Con 2008

I'm DONE. You hear me? I'm DONE. I'm so over going. My goal this year was to photograph just random nerdness. Kraig went almost every day, I just went on Saturday (Sunday gave my tix to Tim and Mark, after we filmed Mark's band's music video snippets).

A few things to note...

Felicia and I are noting the bromance brewing between Kraig and John


Summer Glau is every nerd's wet dream. She's not hot enough to be a regular actress, but put her in 4400, Terminator, Firefly, Serenity...and nerds everywhere are ready to shoot their loads.


This kid was the freakiest person I've ever met. I think he was there alone, which is a warning sign #1. When Kraig took his picture, he freaked out asking whether he got his STINGER in the picture. And then he ranted about how cool his stinger was (warning #2)! He was almost getting aggressive, like kid, chill the eff out!


This guy was from Stargate or Battlestar Galactica (i think i mislabeled the images in Shutterfly)...I don't know who he is, but he was GORGEOUS. I mean, honestly, I don't know why every nerd woman there didn't rape him. I felt like when I walked by it suddenly got all slow-mo and "I just died in your arms tonight" played in the air...he was supa dupa fly.


Nathan Fillion is such a douchebag. His shows all tank (minus Desperate Housewives), he can't act his way out of a paperbag, and he's not even remotely attractive. I don't see how this tool has a job.


I used to work with this guy. What's scary is that everyone was in awe of him when he was wandering around, and my reaction was "OMG...i worked with that guy!"...What are the odds?



So that's it, I'm DONE with Comic Con, i'm done with posting pictures, I'm over it!

Note that it was so humid in San Diego, I was rockin' some crazy wavy curly hair...grrrrrrrrrrr....nothing says sexy like crazy frizzy wavy hair, a Disney tshirt, and running shoes. Yeah!

Another year older. Definitely not wiser.

Some pics from one of my birthday shindigs this past week...got to see most of my girls, whom I adore, they're fabulous and as always make getting older a little less painful! Just a few pics View quickly before someone complains about their face plastered on the web :P

My eyes are hurting

Okay i'm pretty pissed because I wrote up this blog entry already, but then the computer froze up and I lost my stuff. Grrr.

Here's my rant for today, or really, the past while...

I have incredibly high standards I think for people I see on tv. Everyone's dying to be on tv, so the very least TV producers can do is pick from the most aesthetically-pleasing of the bunch. I had to stop watching Living Lohan because neither Lindsay Lohan's mom or sister's personalities (oh you new jersey people you!) make up for their ugliness. Lindsay is attractive. Ali? Not so much.

I'm obsessed with this eHarmony commercial: link to youtube because eharmony made them disable the embedded link. I just don't think Lee is good-looking enough to be in a commercial. Now if it were a commercial for weight loss, then yes, he's attractive enough. However this is for something that's based on love and chemistry, which requires some level of aesthetic qualities. Which he lacks.

Then I wonder, would I find him hot in real life? Would I want to date him? But that's not what matters...even in an online dating commercial. No, his face is on MY tv, during MY airtime, during MY free time...I say what should be on, and what I want is an e-harmony commercial featuring Ryan Reynolds. Note that Ann Marie is super cute, so I won't knock her. In fact, she must be incredibly psycho to still have been single 'cause she can do better than that Lee guy. He would have been better looking if he had stayed OFF the tv, without my judging eyes viewing him through a glass panel.

Consider that in the 70s and 80s, producers didn't seem to understand how attractiveness matters. Sure, they had Charlie's Angels...but what about the original American Gladiators? Did they not think that chicks could be tough, strong, AND hot? Compare the original cast vs the cast now...don't tell me they didn't have buff hot chicks in the 80s!


Like really? that's the hottest you could find?! Forget the hair, getting past the trendiness of their appearance, these chicks were fug!

Now that being said, I have the reverse attitude about newscasters. I don't want people that happen to be pretty who learned world news. I want people who were passionate about journalism, didn't have time to date around in highschool and didn't care about their looks to tell me the news. Heck, i don't even trust pretty weather girls. News seems more credible when the person reading the teleprompter is unattractive.

Does this rule apply to sportscasters? That's a tough call. Probably because I don't watch sports. I would watch hockey, but living in SoCal, I'm stuck watching the f*cking Ducks and they can suck it for all I care. GO SENS!! It came to my attention a few weeks ago that Dana Jacobsen from ESPN has super big arms.

Which you'd think, what's the big deal? Well apparently to men watching her on ESPN, this is a big deal. Like really big. I don't think guys have the same feeling as I have for the level of credibility of my news/information versus the attractiveness of the person delivering the info. It seems that she is so crazy big, they are incapable of focusing on whatever sports-related information she has to deliver. But would a thin, big-boobed chick be any less distracting than her alleged upper arm area?

So to see if maybe the guys I received this information were just a little harsh, I did some web searches. And this is what came up on the web (all typos are theirs, not mine)...

The Good:
- On top of all that she is an incredibly gorgeous and sexy woman
- Besides all that,she's beautiful......I think i'm in love
- Dana Jacobson is gorgeous woman. She has an amazing body that she hides well.Beneath all that clothing i know there is a very hott body! Besides that shes into sports as well.
- Even though Dana might be a tad bit on the thick side, I think it kind of makes the attraction to her a little stronger. She's absolutely gorgeous and has an amazing body with great curves. I know I'm not the only one that would rather see her wearing something other than suits most of the time.

The Bad:
- i love her big hands and i'm sure that she has beautiful big feet as well.
- I tolerated her because she had the "big sister" thing going and because I thought she was brave to go on TV looking like she does (bad hair, wardrobe and figure).
- It must be her knowledge of sports cause shes no Kim Kardashian. Shes bigger than most of the male co-host.
- I find it hard to believe so many people would give her a review for being pretty? I mean come on, seriously. She must have family and friends on here giving her those because she is one big hefer.
- If you're going to hire somebody who doesn't have a clue, at least make sure she is attractive
- Dana is a joke...She will be fired soon enough. And she isn't sexy.....Scarlett Johanson is sexy......Dana Jacobson...not so much

The Ugly:
- Some reviews called her Sexy? Sexy? By the looks of that bod, she needs to put down the chocalate bar and actually participate in a sport rather than masquerading as someone credible.
- She needs to be FIRED!! Not to mention she is HUGE!!
- She is fat and unattractive, only knows michigan football.
- moooooooooooooooo....what a cow

I feel like I gotta defend this poor girl...I mean, seriously, she's not THAT bad on the eyes. And I'm very, very protective of not only my eyes, but the images that come through my tv screen. It needs to be decided...do Sportscasters need to be attractive like entertainment show hosts (Maria Menounos level), or do we want them to be unattractive in order to gain credibility?

Weekend randomness and Oprah's Sensual Years

Scenes from a mall...

Seen on Sunday: Sean Hayes (Jack from Will & Grace and Victor Garber (the dude from Titanic who was also in Legally Blond). Sort of an odd couple:



Shopping together at American Eagle. Or J Crew. Crap I don't remember which one. I know for sure I wasn't in Abercrombie. I think they were debating on a top for Sean Hayes to buy. Or they were having a passionate discussion while leaning over folded polo shirts. Either way, I've never seen any dude(s) so passionate while trying on a shirt. Maybe they were discussing politics. Or they were discussing whether Sean should get the yellow one. It was just bizarre. Plus Victor Garber is surprisingly much smaller than I would have thought, i think neither of them could have had more than 20lbs on me.

Other random thoughts:

- I'm very pro-plastic surgery (if you can afford it), but the thought of a dude getting triceps implants freaks me out. Gives me the same skin crawling feeling that i get when I think of spiders.
a girl can never make too many wardrobe changes. Men however should just stick with one thing a day. Especially if i'm the one who's doing the laundry.

- I am a horrible driver when i'm nervous. Some people can focus. I however, can not. You know who makes me nervous? The Garmin GPS lady. She reminds me of a mean schoolteacher. Repeating over and over that in “point two miles, exit ramp”. Yes ma'am!

- it's amazing how one weekend of not sleeping in your own bed can make your body feel like someone took a baseball bat to it....I woke up today seriously feeling like I'd been mauled all weekend. Maybe I need to pull a Carrie and bring my pillow around with me, that Guess pillow was $16, I bought it at Sears when i was in college, and it's the best pillow EVER.

- what is the appropriate ratio for a chick's arms? In particular, a sportscaster on ESPN? More importantly, if the camera adds X pounds, can it add it onto just one area?

Yesterday I caught a bit of Oprah, and it was all about sex. Or specifically, Sex In Your Sensual Years. Which I think is just Oprah's way of saying, sex when you're old. They yammered onto about how sex when you're older is better than sex in your 20s.

This would have be a hard sell for me, because when I was 20 I was fully AWARE that not only was I twenty, I also fully remember thinking that my metabolism was going to start going downhill so enjoy poutine and calzones as much as possible. Now i should hope that I'm not in my “sensual years” (otherwise i'll be forced to stab myself), but i'm definitely more self conscious about my body than I was in my early 20s, even though I'm the same weight as I was back then. If I continue on this path, I'll be wearing mumus by the time i'm 40. (Oh geezus, are my 40s my “sensual years”? Note to self: shoot self upon 40th birthday. Alternatively, bitch-slap self on 40th birthday). Gone are the years of the uber short skirts and tummy-bearing tops. Oh granted tummy-bearing tops haven't been in style for ages (Are you listening Mariah Carey?!), but you get the point, I would never even CONSIDER wearing that now even if it was in style.

Did everyone get the “oh you'll have better self esteem and self image as you get older” gene except me? Before my goal was to just get a tummy tuck after having kids...now my laundry list of things that I want done in the next 15 years will require taking out a 3rd mortgage. Hmmm, I guess I justify it that the available procedures back when I had my original 1-item wish list was much smaller than all the crazy things you can do now. Watch out Cat-Lady, i'll be giving you a run for your money. Meow.


Ewwwww, I suddenly thought of Oprah thinking about her “sensual years” and getting it on with Stedman. AND Gayle. At the same time. With lots of lube.

Oh the humanity.

Update to the bus guy

Props to Tim for finding this:
Greyhound Guy's Facebook Page

He looks like a total skid...people like that always get their heads lopped off on buses! He had it coming!

And why can't I stop laughing at this whole story?! Makes me miss Canada even more.

That's some f*cked up ishh right there

Wow. Wow wow. And this happened in the same city/province where i was born.
Sleeping man beheaded on Greyhound bus

WINNIPEG, Manitoba - A passenger sleeping on a Greyhound bus was killed and decapitated by his seatmate on Wednesday night as the vehicle rolled across the Canadian prairies, witnesses said.

What's more effed up: that some dude lost his head on a bus, or that I laughed my ass off reading this?

Can't wait movie omg omg

Seth Green. Amish. What more do you need in life. Very rarely does a preview make me giggle as much as this one did:

Absolutely stunning

My life is incomplete without this skirt in my closet:


It's a promo pic for Macy's anniversary. If i get hit by a bus tomorrow, please sell my entire closet, shoes, purses, accessories, car and buy that skirt to bury me in it.

Comic Con recap coming soon

Until then, this cracked me up (found on the Oh No They Didn't celeb gossip site):

Simpsons Rock

After a billion years, The Simpsons still got it...
I can't stop laughing:

So, so stoked!

For 10 years, I've been wanting this hat from a guy I went to University with. I knew it was from surf shop, and I always thought he got it from San Diego.

Every time I go to Comic Con or wherever, I always try to go into surf shops to see if I can find the hat. I didn't know the name or anything, I just knew I'd recognize the logo when I saw it.

Seriously, it was an awesome effing hat.

Anyway, I finally thought to just ASK Eric where he got it from, and he's like "the Ron Jon hat?"...YES YES! And best of all, there's a Ron Jon Surf Shop right in Orange! Swwwwwwwwwwwweeeeet!

This is the hat I want (in cream, not navy):


Hmm maybe I'll just get Kraig to get it for me for my birthday and be done with it.

Let me backtrack a bit here...baseball hats are REALLY hard for me to find. The best one I have is my highschool one, which I adore but you know, it's been years since highschool and I rarely wear it because I don't want to wear it out. It's got a snap button strap on the back, which is perfect: I can put a ponytail through it, but it's already perfectly adjusted for my head.

I can't find anything like it anymore. Either you get hats that are fully covered in the back (not ideal for chicks with ponytails), or they velcro straps or something retarded like that...i don't want to keep adjusting. And they never fit right. Or they're those plastic snap doodads, which also are kinda weird.

The Ron Jon one i think is the plastic snap doodad kind, but considering how effing awesome that had is...I'll make an exception. Maybe I should just order it online, considering the $7 shipping is probably the same cost of gas for me anyway.

Today is a good day.

No, i am NOT a nerd

Unlike some people (who aren't nameless, just ask me and i'll tell you her name), I don't "brag" about being a nerd. I have the right to be called a nerd (did you program your Vic20 when you were 6 years old? Do you know the 3 Laws of Robotics? Did you spend your Saturday nights watching the old skool Dr. Who? Do you think the TI-85 is the best calculator ever? Exactly.), I just don't think that's a noble thing to call yourself. I'm almost 31, but I'd still like to avoid being beat up.

That being said...sigh...I'm willing to admit that on Saturday morning I will be up EARLY to get in line for this:
12:45-1:45 Exclusive Q&A with the writers of The Office— Meet the writers of the EmmyAward–winning comedy The Office and hear them talk about their favorite episodes, characters, and fun behind-the-scenes stories. Moderated by cast member Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute), panelists include executive producer/showrunner Greg Daniels (The Simpsons) and writers Jennifer Celotta (Andy Richter Controls the Universe), Michael Schur (Saturday Night Live), B.J. Novak, Lester Lewis (The Larry Sanders Show), Gene Stupnitsky (Year One), Lee Eisenberg (Year One), Mindy Kaling (Matt and Ben), Justin Spitzer (Scrubs), Ryan Koh (various commercials), and Anthony Ferrell (The Audacity)

That's not overly nerdy...it's just at the ultimate uber nerd-fest ever. Don't blame me for the location.

Rumor has it that it's actually very easy, with Professional badges, to just go in through the back. Kraig doesn't think so, but maybe this is the year I actually hootch myself up and give it a whirl. Who am I kidding...you either gotta be a Playboy bunny (which there are plenty of at comic con) OR a relatively thin chick with a super expensive costume to pull off the hootch factor. Maybe I can get Kraig to just stand in line while I attempt to use my shmooze skillz to get in the back.

Rainn Wilson and BJ Novak are no Steve Carrell, but I'll lick their feet anyway. I LOVE THE OFFICE!!!

Letter to the editor

Re: that Gigi sex toy
Well the reason it is marketed to women is because it helps with the fact you can use it together if you want.

It takes care of the um BJ situation. If after you get married you don't want to do them as much....maybe
hehehhe.
You don't have to um swallow or have too much in your mouth....
ok now that I've said too much on Sabina's Blog.

I don't know what i laughed more at, this comment or the picture I posted from Creepshow 2 (seriously, seriously, that pic kicks ass).

All I can say regarding whether you enjoy giving BJs after marriage is...

Way back in highschool a friend who shall remain nameless told me that she just decided that she's no longer giving them. Oh wait, maybe that was hand jobs. It was some "job". Anyway, I remember her telling me and I was like, "wait, what? That's an option? We don't HAVE to do __ jobs? Why did no one tell me?! Was I taken off the memo?!".

Hmmm well somehow she stopped doing whatever that "job" was, but my attitude is well...how can I word this...finding a substitute isn't going to get me out of my job lol. Whether it's my employment or my bedroom!

TEE
EMMM
EYE

Movie review: Batman The Dark Knight (no spoilers)

Since this is a big ticket movie, I won't put any spoilers here.

Last night I went to the ghetto Kaleidoscope to see the latest Batman flick, which amazingly wasn't packed at all. I actually was first in line in that little lineup thing they make you stand in before entering the theater so I was stoked. Until I realized that there was only like 30 people in there, which deprived me of my power trip.

I was spoiled by Sex And The City, the previews were max 1 minute. They jumped straight to the movie. This damn movie had at least 9 minutes of previews, which really just irritated the crap out of me.

The movie was also incredibly long, and being of the MTV generation after awhile my enjoyment factor goes downhill. I can't stand anything for 3 hours. I have a jacked up knee and I was attempting to stretch my leg out without much luck. After 3 hours, I start to feel like the directors and moviemakers are just plain arrogant to think that their movie is so damn good they don't need to edit it down because I'm going to be so in love with their work, i WANT to suffer for another half hour.

Those editors have an easy job. They don't have to cut anything out.

Heath Ledger kicked ass, he really did a brilliant job. I had to remind myself this is the likable anti-hero of Ten Things I Hate About You. Kraig made a comment about what they should have done to his character at the end of the movie, but I pointed out that given that he's DEAD and all, they probably had to factor in what would be appropriate at the end (sad, but true).

I was trying to think of why they would cast Maggie Gyllenhaal to replace Katie Holmes. She's quirky but NOT attractive, and at one point The Joker calls her "beautiful". Umm no, no she's not. But then again, The Joker is crazy so maybe that's a diss. Then I remembered that Heath did Brokeback with Jake Gyllenhaal, and maybe that's how Maggie got her "in" to this movie. I suppose when you have to simulate gay sex with a dude, you either have to buy him dinner or cast his sister in your next movie.

(shrug) Without giving away any plotlines, I'll say it's a pretty good movie. I preferred the first one, but this one is entertaining in its own right. I'd give the special effects/CG guys props, as well as the makeup artists (seriously, the last 1/3rd of the movie...you'll understand what i mean re: makeup artists). Hell, let's give the gaffer some mad love too for his efforts in making things seem...um like nighttime.

This was a very cryptic movie review. Suck it.

Friday, pics, and how to not be classy

I was going to make a post about a girl I know who has zero class, which thus would have prompted the list of How to be UnClassy.

Thanks to you mofos there on Friday night, I was able to live the tale myself.

Class is very, very important. You can't buy class. You can be super poor and be much more classy than someone with ten times your wealth.

How NOT to be classy, as seen by cough cough me cough on Friday night:

1. Don't eat anything all day except 1/2 a doughnut and a leftover salad before going drinking.
2. Accept every shot of patron offered your way.
3. Make your poor friend drive your drunk ass home.
4. Hug everyone around you. Even if you don't know them. Hugs for all!
5. Start telling people about dreams you had about them that you vowed to NEVER reveal.
6. Argue over who's got a bigger gut by showing your gut to them.
7. When your husband tries to take care of you, yell at him to stop touching you but thatyou want your jeans taken off. (I woke up at 4am, got up to get something to eat 'cause i was starving, and iw as like, "where the f*ck are my pants?!")
8. When your husband gives you a bowl "just in case", and then later tries to take it away, yell at him "It's my bucket! MY BUCKET!" and don't let him have it.

Ugh, my apologies if I offended anyone, I haven't gotten that much of a horrible drunk since Stacey's wedding 5 years ago. I'm much too old to pull drunken antics!

Pics here. At least I hand washed and waxed my SUV myself the next day while hungover to suffer for my sins! But damn i had a fun time!