I'm going to be sick. Seriously.

I've decided to chart my aging through the years (in case later i might want a record of it...or my kids, if they want to know the exact years their body will fall apart)...my latest beefs are the spider veins in my calves. I RARELY, if ever (I mean, maybe 2x a year) cross my legs because I read as a teenager never to do that.

Well, my calves have them. And it's pissing me off. Yay for Age 31 Woes.

It takes ALOT to gross me out. Alot. I watch Dr. 90210, surgery shows, whatever. I love watching my blood being taken. I would love to SEE a surgery take place.

But when it comes to spider/varicose vein options, i get the heebie jeebies.
If i have to do this, I'm going to seriously vomit my intestinal track.


I just looked up the solution to spider veins and now i'm seriously squirming in my seat, tensing my muscles, and i'm ready to cry I'm so effing freaked out.

Sclerotherapy
This is the most common treatment for both spider veins and varicose veins. The doctor injects a solution into the vein that causes the vein walls to swell, stick together, and seal shut. This stops the flow of blood and the vein turns into scar tissue. In a few weeks, the vein should fade. The same vein may need to be treated more than once.

This treatment is very effective if done the right way. Most patients can expect a 50% to 90% improvement. Microsclerotherapy uses special solutions and injection techniques that increase the success rate for removal of spider veins. Sclerotherapy does not require anesthesia, and can be done in the doctor's office.

Possible side effects include:

Temporary stinging or painful cramps where the injection was made
Temporary red raised patches of skin where the injection was made
Temporary small skin sores where the injection was made
Temporary bruises where the injection was made
Spots around the treated vein that usually disappear
Brown lines around the treated vein that usually disappear
Groups of fine red blood vessels around the treated vein that usually disappear
The treated vein can also become inflamed or develop lumps of clotted blood. This is not dangerous. Applying heat and taking aspirin or antibiotics can relieve inflammation. Lumps of coagulated blood can be drained.


why does the human body f*cking suck?! Or more importantly, MINE?!

So far this is my list of ailments per age:
early 20s: cellulite (i mean, BAD cellulite)
28: forehead wrinkes, signs of age on hands
29: crow's feet, thinning eyelashes
30: thinning hair, undereye wrinkles that DONT shrink back after squinting (and i wear sunglasses diligently! WTF!)
31: spider veins

In order to pre-emptively avoid freaking out over more things, i've taken the following actions:
1. I will just keep dying my hair. I will go postal if i see a grey hair. Might as well just do it now.
2. I've started waxing my chin. Now i don't have anything there, thank GOD, but i once had a bunch of older women telling me that that's a massive thing that happens when you get old. Granted, they were in their late 50s, but who knows when that facial chin hair situation started. I'd rather not deal with one day finding it OR even worse, not even REALIZING i have it. So i'm just going to slather my face with wax regularly and if nothing comes off, great. If so, well, at least i nipped it in the bud before i'm 60.

Attempting to preserve your youth is ALOT of effing work, costs alot of effing money (yay for free samples from plastic surgeons' offices), and TIME which is the hardest of all things to comes by.

Oh, i've also started using the bottle of Phyto-Axil that I bought kraig like 7 years ago from when we started dating. Figured it's in a pressurized can so it can't go bad...