So went to lunch today with 3 coworkers and Stefanie....
And something that was brought up....how chicks will laugh at your jokes initially than after awhile no matter HOW funny the joke is, the chick won't laugh.
That, I will agree 100%. Poor Kraig. He used to be SO funny in my mind. Now...he could write for the Simpsons and I still wouldn't laugh. He's hosed on that one.
That being said, there's a TON of things that one gender used to do and in return the other doesn't either. You know why? It's like Crazy Fun Girl. Initially, you do that stuff with a purpose. Then....
Guys: she used to laugh at my jokes. Now, I can't say anything that won't make her roll her eyes.
Girls: He used to always pay for dinner or we'd split. Now i'm the one paying for everything.
Guys: She used to dress all sexy for me. Now it's just track pants or her Lion King boxers.
Girls: He used to write me super romantic letters/texts/emails. I don't get any of that anymore!
Guys: She used to have sexy long hair. Now...it's cut all short! (alternative: she wears in a bun/blob all the time!)
Girls: He used to have a HOT body. Now he sits around, drinks beer, and does nothing.
Guys: she used to want to go out! Now we never go out and have fun.
Girls: he used to want to go out! Now we never go out and have fun.
So you see....men can bitch all they want about how chicks, over time, things start to suck....yeah well it goes both ways.
What's the moral of the story?
Find someone that you can still love and adore and want to snuggle with even after all of the above stuff (whether it's guys or girls) goes downhill. And when I snuggle, damn right it's with my Lion King shorts!!!
Friday, December 16, 2005
Happy Blog-vakah!
I swear, the Internet is the most amazing invention EVER. Makes me wish I were a student again: Assessing Risk - When and When Not to Beat It
Now onto more important things....the OC....
Now if you watch the OC, you know the Chrismukkah episode is the motherload of all episodes. Last night's was okay...and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it lacked edge AND thinks Johnny is a pain in the ass whiney little bitch:
Tonight hinted that the show might pay some more attention to Summer's parent-related drama, and if that's correct then I really hope last year's short-lived rumors were true and that Demi Moore will play Summer's infamous pill-popping stepmonster. She'll be a good replacement for Johnny once the O.C. staff figures out a suitable way to kill him and/or have him move to the Midwest, à la Anna and Lindsay. Wait, he still has the gun, right? The writers should make him watch that surfing footage of his old, non-gimp body on a constant loop until he gets the right idea and offs himself. (from EW.com).
That Johnny guy started out awesome....he was cute in a "skinny guy" kind of way (even skinnier than Seth, gasp...maybe even skinnier than Marissa). But the dude gets hit by a car and suddenly he's the biggest gimp on the planet. Give me a break. You managed to drive a car didn't you?! Shut your piehole and go back to school and stop relying on surfing potentials...that's why your parents always told you that you "need something to fall back on" when you begged them to be an artist/guitarist/model/Professional-TV-Watcher.
That being said, Ryan is REALLY starting to grow on me. Most likely because he looks so much more manly next to Johnny. Or maybe because he hasn't been pulling his "I'm from Chino and we punch people every other episode" bs. Or maybe it's because he actually SPEAKS as opposed to giving those Unsure-Are-You-Checking-Out-My-Girlfriend-I'm-From-Chino-I'll-Punch-You-Every-Other-Episode looks. Either way, I'm diggin' the short hair and the excessive dialogue from him.
But of course...in the end...it's all about Seth. My boy.
I'm not sure if I'm down with the Julie Cooper + Summer's Dad plotline...I mean, it's hilarious, but I hate when they only purpose of showing a character who's been around forever is just so they can play the convenient love interest. You know who they need to show more often? The trailor park guy who lives by Julie. Now i dig that guy. AND he's got a cockfight tradition. You can't beat that. Well maybe you can beat it....with a chicken...
On another note, it looks like I'll actually manage to pull enough money out of my ass to pay my credit card bill in full. MOO HA HA HA HAAAAA....when it's me vs. Credit Card Companies...don't mess with me. I refuse to let you have my money for interest. Booyah.
The song of the day is That's What Friends Are For by Dionne Warwick....because that's the BarMitzvakah way.
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times in bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Now onto more important things....the OC....
Now if you watch the OC, you know the Chrismukkah episode is the motherload of all episodes. Last night's was okay...and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it lacked edge AND thinks Johnny is a pain in the ass whiney little bitch:
Tonight hinted that the show might pay some more attention to Summer's parent-related drama, and if that's correct then I really hope last year's short-lived rumors were true and that Demi Moore will play Summer's infamous pill-popping stepmonster. She'll be a good replacement for Johnny once the O.C. staff figures out a suitable way to kill him and/or have him move to the Midwest, à la Anna and Lindsay. Wait, he still has the gun, right? The writers should make him watch that surfing footage of his old, non-gimp body on a constant loop until he gets the right idea and offs himself. (from EW.com).
That Johnny guy started out awesome....he was cute in a "skinny guy" kind of way (even skinnier than Seth, gasp...maybe even skinnier than Marissa). But the dude gets hit by a car and suddenly he's the biggest gimp on the planet. Give me a break. You managed to drive a car didn't you?! Shut your piehole and go back to school and stop relying on surfing potentials...that's why your parents always told you that you "need something to fall back on" when you begged them to be an artist/guitarist/model/Professional-TV-Watcher.
That being said, Ryan is REALLY starting to grow on me. Most likely because he looks so much more manly next to Johnny. Or maybe because he hasn't been pulling his "I'm from Chino and we punch people every other episode" bs. Or maybe it's because he actually SPEAKS as opposed to giving those Unsure-Are-You-Checking-Out-My-Girlfriend-I'm-From-Chino-I'll-Punch-You-Every-Other-Episode looks. Either way, I'm diggin' the short hair and the excessive dialogue from him.
But of course...in the end...it's all about Seth. My boy.
I'm not sure if I'm down with the Julie Cooper + Summer's Dad plotline...I mean, it's hilarious, but I hate when they only purpose of showing a character who's been around forever is just so they can play the convenient love interest. You know who they need to show more often? The trailor park guy who lives by Julie. Now i dig that guy. AND he's got a cockfight tradition. You can't beat that. Well maybe you can beat it....with a chicken...
On another note, it looks like I'll actually manage to pull enough money out of my ass to pay my credit card bill in full. MOO HA HA HA HAAAAA....when it's me vs. Credit Card Companies...don't mess with me. I refuse to let you have my money for interest. Booyah.
The song of the day is That's What Friends Are For by Dionne Warwick....because that's the BarMitzvakah way.
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times in bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Thursday, December 15, 2005
How to woo a blog
So after writing an email about something I realized I actually feel somewhat passionate on the subject...and thus, blog-worthy.
What is romantic when you're in high school is NOT always what's romantic to a chick when she's 30
The following is a list of things that's romantic when you're in high school:
1. Prom. Mostly because it's the only time you have an excuse to look REALLY nice. And get a hotel room...or at least, lose your virginity....or at least, get laid while you look REALLY nice.
As an adult...the closest thing to that would be a company party, which everyone can agree is NOT a romantic night. You can't make out with anyone (that whole "professionalism" thing), you can't dress super sexy (that whole "professionalism" thing), and these are people that you probably hate most of the time anyway. PLUS...your date is most likely your spouse or long term boyfriend, in which case, it's not like you have to wonder if you're gonna get laid that night.
2. Rose petals on the bed....oooh ahhhh just like in the movies....ooohhh so romantic.
Um yeah as an adult, odds are that's MY bed...and rose petals effing stain. And who does the laundry? Exactly. As an adult, only do bed-staining-activities when you're in a hotel. Or if it's your own bed and you don't care if you do the laundry or just toss them altogether.
3. Unhooking the bra. Bear with me on this one. I had a conversation with my friend back in highschool about how it pissed us off when guys just PUSHED your bra up to get to the goods...wtf...get off your lazy ass and unhook that sucker. It HURTS when you push it up, it really does. Especially when it's underwire. In high school, we were SO happy when we found a guy who knew how to unhook and didn't just shove stuff around.
As an adult....the art of unhooking isn't "romantic". It's just....a mechanism. If you're in your 20s/30s and you're still pushing the bra UP...that's more than just unromantic, that's "you're a moron and not worthy of seeing my boobs anyway"....
4. When he's out of gum but lets you have half of his (when he's already chewing it). AND NO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO TOOK GUM OUT OF OTHER GUY'S MOUTHS. If i'm kissing the dude anyway, what's the diff.
As an adult...umm yeah no. Obviously. I can get my own gum. Fresh gum is a requirement.
5. Taking showers together. Yeah that's hot 'cause that means you actually get to get naked somewhere other than the bedroom for the whole 2 seconds you're parents aren't at home.
As an adult...listen, argue with me if you want, i don't care. But unless there's two showerheads, showering together is NOT romantic. SOmeone always freezes! Or as someone else pointed out...it's NOT romantic when a guy washes your hair...you end up feeling like you have to re-do it anyway. PLUS...if i'm in the shower, odds are i need to shave my legs, so i end up pre-showering just to look good for the "real" shower...eff that. You take a shower, I'll take a shower...unless it's a fancy showerhead, it's just one of thsoe things that looks great in the movies.
And...speaking of things that look great in the movies...
6. Sex in a pool. Yeah soooo sexy when you're in high school. Just like the movies.
As an adult: do i even NEED to tell you how bad that is for your gonads?! And there's friction issues. No, not romantic at ALL.
7. Food in the bedroom. Whipped cream. Stuff like that. Yeah it's sexy 'cause it gives you an excuse to LICK body parts. I get it.
As an adult....well it all depends if it's her bedsheets or not. Extra laundry is NOT worth the extra calories from whipped cream. Plus the stuff from a can tastes like sh*t anyway, and i doubt anyone's going to run to the kitchen to grab a mixer and make fresh whip cream.
Things that were romantic in high school and are STILL romantic now:
1. Handwritten love letters. Sigh. I sure hope highschool kids now don't resort to email love letters. There's nothing better than laying on your bed with a note that's all creased and folded/unfolded a million times....that never gets old. Dang my heart is racing right now just remembering times that I've done that....staring at a letter for hours, memerizing every curl and twist of the ink...Note: this also includes poems. They may be cheesy, but dang it's romantic.
2. Flowers. Now keep in mind, I'm biased because I worked in a flower shop and part of me runs in fear when i see a bouquet of roses (I got so desensitized, i could grab a bunch of roses, thorns and all, without feeling a thing...my hands had SO many holes in them)...but a single rose can still make my heart pound....and I still dry them upside down like i used to back in high school.
3. Candles....you know, somehow guys in highschool know to do this and yet, wtf, the novelty wears off when you're an adult? C'mon guys! Ambiance is always good. Not always needed, but it can't hurt. Just make sure they're not like Glade air freshner candles or anything. That would be retarded.
4. Jewelry. In highschool a plain itty bitty ring made us shiver....it still works as an adult. In fact, other than an engagement ring, most often less is more. A teenie chain bracelet with a teenie charm on it is SO much more appreciated than some big chunky ass bracelet. It's not the cost...it's just whatever is least-tacky.
What is romantic now that you may not have even thought of when you were in high school:
1. Cleaning the house. Or apartment. Or your car. Anything that means MY time is free to either spend it with you or spend it doing something fun for myself is so insanely romantic.
2. General thoughtfulness. Such as bringing an extra jacket when you know she's probably gonna be cold. Thoughtfulness is not something the average teenager even notices, but it's SOOO appreciated as an adult. It's getting out of the car and filling up the car with gas because you know our shoes will get wreaked if it's raining. It's picking up another coffee when you're already getting one for yourself. It's ordering your side dish a certain way because you know she'll probably mooch of off it anyway.
3. Specific compliments. In high school usually it's "you're so pretty" blah blah. Eff that crap. By the time you're 30 you want to hear "you have fantastic legs" or "you skin is unbelievably soft"....yeah jackasses, get specific. So we know you mean US...not Random Girl X.
4. General sillyness. Maybe that's just general behavior anyway in high school. But sometimes just being playful and silly and random is the most romantic thing in the world, because for that brief moment you're forgetting all the crap that makes up Being A Grown Up and allows you to be super close to someone else in a way that can't even be described or qualified.
The song of the day is Freak Me by Silk....since everyone my age had sex to that song at some point in high school 'cause well hey, we thought it was sexy....now it just makes me laugh when i hear it.
Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you
What is romantic when you're in high school is NOT always what's romantic to a chick when she's 30
The following is a list of things that's romantic when you're in high school:
1. Prom. Mostly because it's the only time you have an excuse to look REALLY nice. And get a hotel room...or at least, lose your virginity....or at least, get laid while you look REALLY nice.
As an adult...the closest thing to that would be a company party, which everyone can agree is NOT a romantic night. You can't make out with anyone (that whole "professionalism" thing), you can't dress super sexy (that whole "professionalism" thing), and these are people that you probably hate most of the time anyway. PLUS...your date is most likely your spouse or long term boyfriend, in which case, it's not like you have to wonder if you're gonna get laid that night.
2. Rose petals on the bed....oooh ahhhh just like in the movies....ooohhh so romantic.
Um yeah as an adult, odds are that's MY bed...and rose petals effing stain. And who does the laundry? Exactly. As an adult, only do bed-staining-activities when you're in a hotel. Or if it's your own bed and you don't care if you do the laundry or just toss them altogether.
3. Unhooking the bra. Bear with me on this one. I had a conversation with my friend back in highschool about how it pissed us off when guys just PUSHED your bra up to get to the goods...wtf...get off your lazy ass and unhook that sucker. It HURTS when you push it up, it really does. Especially when it's underwire. In high school, we were SO happy when we found a guy who knew how to unhook and didn't just shove stuff around.
As an adult....the art of unhooking isn't "romantic". It's just....a mechanism. If you're in your 20s/30s and you're still pushing the bra UP...that's more than just unromantic, that's "you're a moron and not worthy of seeing my boobs anyway"....
4. When he's out of gum but lets you have half of his (when he's already chewing it). AND NO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO TOOK GUM OUT OF OTHER GUY'S MOUTHS. If i'm kissing the dude anyway, what's the diff.
As an adult...umm yeah no. Obviously. I can get my own gum. Fresh gum is a requirement.
5. Taking showers together. Yeah that's hot 'cause that means you actually get to get naked somewhere other than the bedroom for the whole 2 seconds you're parents aren't at home.
As an adult...listen, argue with me if you want, i don't care. But unless there's two showerheads, showering together is NOT romantic. SOmeone always freezes! Or as someone else pointed out...it's NOT romantic when a guy washes your hair...you end up feeling like you have to re-do it anyway. PLUS...if i'm in the shower, odds are i need to shave my legs, so i end up pre-showering just to look good for the "real" shower...eff that. You take a shower, I'll take a shower...unless it's a fancy showerhead, it's just one of thsoe things that looks great in the movies.
And...speaking of things that look great in the movies...
6. Sex in a pool. Yeah soooo sexy when you're in high school. Just like the movies.
As an adult: do i even NEED to tell you how bad that is for your gonads?! And there's friction issues. No, not romantic at ALL.
7. Food in the bedroom. Whipped cream. Stuff like that. Yeah it's sexy 'cause it gives you an excuse to LICK body parts. I get it.
As an adult....well it all depends if it's her bedsheets or not. Extra laundry is NOT worth the extra calories from whipped cream. Plus the stuff from a can tastes like sh*t anyway, and i doubt anyone's going to run to the kitchen to grab a mixer and make fresh whip cream.
Things that were romantic in high school and are STILL romantic now:
1. Handwritten love letters. Sigh. I sure hope highschool kids now don't resort to email love letters. There's nothing better than laying on your bed with a note that's all creased and folded/unfolded a million times....that never gets old. Dang my heart is racing right now just remembering times that I've done that....staring at a letter for hours, memerizing every curl and twist of the ink...Note: this also includes poems. They may be cheesy, but dang it's romantic.
2. Flowers. Now keep in mind, I'm biased because I worked in a flower shop and part of me runs in fear when i see a bouquet of roses (I got so desensitized, i could grab a bunch of roses, thorns and all, without feeling a thing...my hands had SO many holes in them)...but a single rose can still make my heart pound....and I still dry them upside down like i used to back in high school.
3. Candles....you know, somehow guys in highschool know to do this and yet, wtf, the novelty wears off when you're an adult? C'mon guys! Ambiance is always good. Not always needed, but it can't hurt. Just make sure they're not like Glade air freshner candles or anything. That would be retarded.
4. Jewelry. In highschool a plain itty bitty ring made us shiver....it still works as an adult. In fact, other than an engagement ring, most often less is more. A teenie chain bracelet with a teenie charm on it is SO much more appreciated than some big chunky ass bracelet. It's not the cost...it's just whatever is least-tacky.
What is romantic now that you may not have even thought of when you were in high school:
1. Cleaning the house. Or apartment. Or your car. Anything that means MY time is free to either spend it with you or spend it doing something fun for myself is so insanely romantic.
2. General thoughtfulness. Such as bringing an extra jacket when you know she's probably gonna be cold. Thoughtfulness is not something the average teenager even notices, but it's SOOO appreciated as an adult. It's getting out of the car and filling up the car with gas because you know our shoes will get wreaked if it's raining. It's picking up another coffee when you're already getting one for yourself. It's ordering your side dish a certain way because you know she'll probably mooch of off it anyway.
3. Specific compliments. In high school usually it's "you're so pretty" blah blah. Eff that crap. By the time you're 30 you want to hear "you have fantastic legs" or "you skin is unbelievably soft"....yeah jackasses, get specific. So we know you mean US...not Random Girl X.
4. General sillyness. Maybe that's just general behavior anyway in high school. But sometimes just being playful and silly and random is the most romantic thing in the world, because for that brief moment you're forgetting all the crap that makes up Being A Grown Up and allows you to be super close to someone else in a way that can't even be described or qualified.
The song of the day is Freak Me by Silk....since everyone my age had sex to that song at some point in high school 'cause well hey, we thought it was sexy....now it just makes me laugh when i hear it.
Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body baby make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
Cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you
I caught your blog
removing what i wrote, because i need to be stealth...long story
I'm in hysterics laughing. I guess i'm just effed in the head. Carrie ALWAYS knows how to make me bust a gut.
I'm in hysterics laughing. I guess i'm just effed in the head. Carrie ALWAYS knows how to make me bust a gut.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Your blog is way bored if you read this
THE LAST TIME YOU:
Really smiled: Can't remember. Probably sometime this morning at some of my emails.
Cried: You don't wanna know.
Danced: Lol Sat night at Nicole's work party
Watched your favorite movie: about a month ago...gasp i'm due to watch it again.
Had a nightmare: The past week...I think it was the one where Ryan had a party and there was green slime.
Last thing you had to drink: Water...I just came back from teh gym.
Last time you showered: This morning, but i'm going agian in 2 mins.
Last thing you ate: toast with margerine
NORMAL STUFF:
Name: Duhhh...
Do you like it?: Nope
Nicknames: UGH...Bean...beanbag...beaner...bina...
Sign: Leo but no, i'm not a strong willed individual.
Location: OC
Status: uh...alive?
Natural hair color: dark brown
Current hair color: even darker brown
Eye color: brown, but a guy once told me that my eyes weren't "dark enough"...as in, i didn't have pretty eyes. Thanks jackass.
Height: short. 5'2.5
Birthplace: Winnipeg
shoe size: 5.5
FAVORITES:
Number: 44
Color: ugh it varies...blood red...violet...baby pink...baby blue...lately I'm on a black kick.
Day: Friday around 11am.
Month: wtf I don't know...May i guess.
Song: too many to list. Lady Hear Me Tonight probably.
Movie: Clueless...Desperado...Joy Luck Club...T2...yadda yadda the list goes on
Season: Summer
Class: anything biology or chemistry...i like knowing how crap works.
Teacher: Mr. Macartney, my hot biology teacher in highschool.
Drink: Diet pepsi, no ice. Diggin' the Scooby Snacks now though.
Veggie: wtf kind of retarded question is that. Does a mushroom count?
Radio Station: I'm thinking of going to Sirius. I need Howard.
Store: Target...Express...when i'm jonesin' for a top to wear for just one night, Forever21...
Animal: cats all the way! Although i'm beginning to finally grow fond of dogs.
Flower: Calla Lillies and blue irises
State: I don't like ANY of them. So cali if i had to choose.
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:
Do you have a gf/bf? I'm married mother effer.
Do you have a crush? That kind of goes with the territory.
How long have you liked him/her? A long long time.
Who was your first love? That jackass that i want to beat with a crowbar if i ever saw him again. That's what you get when you give 3 years of your life to a dude who lost his virginity to his sister...who beat up a kid in a wheelchair...who sold drugs to pay the bills (the tip off was when his MOM kept saying "you put your weed in it!")....who had a half-circumsized penis...who tried to convince me that his gay roommate molested him (the dude worked at Club Monaco and gave me his discount. I'll take the roommate's word over his)...the one who thanks to his OTHER girlfriend, i got a black eye on my 18th birthday...the one who I had to resort to getting my bodybuilder friends to get my money back....um yeah that one.
PAST:
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: Without knowing waht I know now (otherwise i would have invested my cash in stuff that obviously went big!)....I wouldn't have moved to the US.
Last thing you heard: The sound of my computer's fan.
Last thing you saw: Kraig coming hom at midnight from work
Last thing you said: "Yes" (in response to "did the cats get fed?")
Who is the last person you hugged? Henry, yesterday.
Who is the last person you fought with? Who do you think....
Who is the last person you were on the phone with: a DJ for our holiday party
What is the last TV show you saw?: Sex and the City...it was on the TV at the gym
What is the last song you heard? Groovy Kind Of Love on the radio
FUTURE:
What day is it tomorrow? Tuesday
What are you going to do after this? Shower. Then do some work.
Who are you going to talk to? Kraig and the cats
What is one of your dreams? lol NOT something I'm going to put in a blog
Where will you be in 25 years? Hopefully at the plastic surgeon getting tweaked
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON:
You instant messaged: probably my mom
You laughed with? probably my coworkers
Who broke your heart? Can your heart be broken by someone you're still with? It can be broken and fixed right?
OTHER:
Do you write in cursive or print?: a mix of both.
Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
What piercings do you have?: my ears (done 3 times), my belly button (the piercing is out but i want to put soemthing else in it)
Any tattoos? oh hell no.
Do you have glasses or contacts?: both
Did you like this survey? not really
PHYSICAL APPEARANCES:
Do you look like any celebrities? NO NOT EVA LONGORIA...think Sophia Coppolla
Do you wear a watch?: sometimes. "A watch doesn't really go with this outfit daddy"
How many coats and jackets do you own? a ton
Favorite pants/skirt? Dress pants: my black ones from CM....jeans: just a casual pair from Old Navy....skirt: my black one from Jacob
Most expensive item of clothing: my wedding gown. After that...my ski jacket. After that...some dresses. After that....other random coats. After that...I think my XOXO skirt that I've worn maybe ONCE in my life.
What kind of shoes do you wear?: anything and everthing. I'm a shoe whore.
Really smiled: Can't remember. Probably sometime this morning at some of my emails.
Cried: You don't wanna know.
Danced: Lol Sat night at Nicole's work party
Watched your favorite movie: about a month ago...gasp i'm due to watch it again.
Had a nightmare: The past week...I think it was the one where Ryan had a party and there was green slime.
Last thing you had to drink: Water...I just came back from teh gym.
Last time you showered: This morning, but i'm going agian in 2 mins.
Last thing you ate: toast with margerine
NORMAL STUFF:
Name: Duhhh...
Do you like it?: Nope
Nicknames: UGH...Bean...beanbag...beaner...bina...
Sign: Leo but no, i'm not a strong willed individual.
Location: OC
Status: uh...alive?
Natural hair color: dark brown
Current hair color: even darker brown
Eye color: brown, but a guy once told me that my eyes weren't "dark enough"...as in, i didn't have pretty eyes. Thanks jackass.
Height: short. 5'2.5
Birthplace: Winnipeg
shoe size: 5.5
FAVORITES:
Number: 44
Color: ugh it varies...blood red...violet...baby pink...baby blue...lately I'm on a black kick.
Day: Friday around 11am.
Month: wtf I don't know...May i guess.
Song: too many to list. Lady Hear Me Tonight probably.
Movie: Clueless...Desperado...Joy Luck Club...T2...yadda yadda the list goes on
Season: Summer
Class: anything biology or chemistry...i like knowing how crap works.
Teacher: Mr. Macartney, my hot biology teacher in highschool.
Drink: Diet pepsi, no ice. Diggin' the Scooby Snacks now though.
Veggie: wtf kind of retarded question is that. Does a mushroom count?
Radio Station: I'm thinking of going to Sirius. I need Howard.
Store: Target...Express...when i'm jonesin' for a top to wear for just one night, Forever21...
Animal: cats all the way! Although i'm beginning to finally grow fond of dogs.
Flower: Calla Lillies and blue irises
State: I don't like ANY of them. So cali if i had to choose.
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:
Do you have a gf/bf? I'm married mother effer.
Do you have a crush? That kind of goes with the territory.
How long have you liked him/her? A long long time.
Who was your first love? That jackass that i want to beat with a crowbar if i ever saw him again. That's what you get when you give 3 years of your life to a dude who lost his virginity to his sister...who beat up a kid in a wheelchair...who sold drugs to pay the bills (the tip off was when his MOM kept saying "you put your weed in it!")....who had a half-circumsized penis...who tried to convince me that his gay roommate molested him (the dude worked at Club Monaco and gave me his discount. I'll take the roommate's word over his)...the one who thanks to his OTHER girlfriend, i got a black eye on my 18th birthday...the one who I had to resort to getting my bodybuilder friends to get my money back....um yeah that one.
PAST:
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: Without knowing waht I know now (otherwise i would have invested my cash in stuff that obviously went big!)....I wouldn't have moved to the US.
Last thing you heard: The sound of my computer's fan.
Last thing you saw: Kraig coming hom at midnight from work
Last thing you said: "Yes" (in response to "did the cats get fed?")
Who is the last person you hugged? Henry, yesterday.
Who is the last person you fought with? Who do you think....
Who is the last person you were on the phone with: a DJ for our holiday party
What is the last TV show you saw?: Sex and the City...it was on the TV at the gym
What is the last song you heard? Groovy Kind Of Love on the radio
FUTURE:
What day is it tomorrow? Tuesday
What are you going to do after this? Shower. Then do some work.
Who are you going to talk to? Kraig and the cats
What is one of your dreams? lol NOT something I'm going to put in a blog
Where will you be in 25 years? Hopefully at the plastic surgeon getting tweaked
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON:
You instant messaged: probably my mom
You laughed with? probably my coworkers
Who broke your heart? Can your heart be broken by someone you're still with? It can be broken and fixed right?
OTHER:
Do you write in cursive or print?: a mix of both.
Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
What piercings do you have?: my ears (done 3 times), my belly button (the piercing is out but i want to put soemthing else in it)
Any tattoos? oh hell no.
Do you have glasses or contacts?: both
Did you like this survey? not really
PHYSICAL APPEARANCES:
Do you look like any celebrities? NO NOT EVA LONGORIA...think Sophia Coppolla
Do you wear a watch?: sometimes. "A watch doesn't really go with this outfit daddy"
How many coats and jackets do you own? a ton
Favorite pants/skirt? Dress pants: my black ones from CM....jeans: just a casual pair from Old Navy....skirt: my black one from Jacob
Most expensive item of clothing: my wedding gown. After that...my ski jacket. After that...some dresses. After that....other random coats. After that...I think my XOXO skirt that I've worn maybe ONCE in my life.
What kind of shoes do you wear?: anything and everthing. I'm a shoe whore.
The working man's blog
Grumble.
I'm SO over this whole "have a job, earn money, pay bills, do this till you die" thing.
I get it. You need to get a job. You have to make money to survive. You have to climb that corporate ladder. Yadda yadda. I GET IT. I learned the moral of the story.
The novelty has long since worn off. I'm almost 30. I've been working since I was 13. The longest break of unemployment I've ever had was one semester in university becuase I was taking SEVEN mother effing courses (so not exactly a "break", more like "no time to eat sleep breathe work think").
I get the point. I GET IT. Work = money = no homeless Sabina. I get it. Can I stop now?! Can I finally just sleep in? Can I finally stop spending the majority of my waking life at work?
I mean, don't get me wrong. I dig my job...I have the best coworkers...blah blah. But...hmmm getting up in the morning to go to work vs. sleeping in....watching soaps....playing with my cats...giving myself a pedicure....reading all the books I keep saying I'll read but never get a chance to....heck, even go back to school....
Yeah I'll take the latter option. I got the lesson of life. Is there a test? Did I pass? Am I done yet?
Being a grownup effing blows goats.
On another note, it seems that Nic D was correct....whole life insurance (as opposed to term) is the way to go, so that when you're old if you don't give a crap about your life insurance anymore you can withdraw from it...sounds good to me. I need something to look forward to when i'm old and decrepit. Now I just gotta squeeze some more juice out of my bank account to PAY for life insurance. Um yeah I guess that's where "see above comments on having a JOB" comes into play.
You need to get over LIFE
Yeah that sounds pretty good right about now. Teen angst rears it's ugly head and yet, sometimes it just makes sense.
I'm SO over this whole "have a job, earn money, pay bills, do this till you die" thing.
I get it. You need to get a job. You have to make money to survive. You have to climb that corporate ladder. Yadda yadda. I GET IT. I learned the moral of the story.
The novelty has long since worn off. I'm almost 30. I've been working since I was 13. The longest break of unemployment I've ever had was one semester in university becuase I was taking SEVEN mother effing courses (so not exactly a "break", more like "no time to eat sleep breathe work think").
I get the point. I GET IT. Work = money = no homeless Sabina. I get it. Can I stop now?! Can I finally just sleep in? Can I finally stop spending the majority of my waking life at work?
I mean, don't get me wrong. I dig my job...I have the best coworkers...blah blah. But...hmmm getting up in the morning to go to work vs. sleeping in....watching soaps....playing with my cats...giving myself a pedicure....reading all the books I keep saying I'll read but never get a chance to....heck, even go back to school....
Yeah I'll take the latter option. I got the lesson of life. Is there a test? Did I pass? Am I done yet?
Being a grownup effing blows goats.
On another note, it seems that Nic D was correct....whole life insurance (as opposed to term) is the way to go, so that when you're old if you don't give a crap about your life insurance anymore you can withdraw from it...sounds good to me. I need something to look forward to when i'm old and decrepit. Now I just gotta squeeze some more juice out of my bank account to PAY for life insurance. Um yeah I guess that's where "see above comments on having a JOB" comes into play.
You need to get over LIFE
Yeah that sounds pretty good right about now. Teen angst rears it's ugly head and yet, sometimes it just makes sense.
My blog does the splits
YES
YES
YES
Just bought advanced tix to see Cirque du Soleil in march...yessss....so far i've seen almost all the shows (well ever since i saw my first once, Varekai, i've seen every single one since), my goal is to see all the ones in Vegas too and then i'll be good to go.
Sweet.
It's Quidam in case anyone cares.
I LOVE ACROBATS WHO DO CRAZY SH*T WITH THEIR BODIES.
Unfortunately since I'm poor as dirt, i had to get the crappies cheap seats, but they're still way low down (I took the Sunday afternoon one...better than say a Fri or Sat night show) and more in the center so I think we'll be okay.
YES
YES
Just bought advanced tix to see Cirque du Soleil in march...yessss....so far i've seen almost all the shows (well ever since i saw my first once, Varekai, i've seen every single one since), my goal is to see all the ones in Vegas too and then i'll be good to go.
Sweet.
It's Quidam in case anyone cares.
I LOVE ACROBATS WHO DO CRAZY SH*T WITH THEIR BODIES.
Unfortunately since I'm poor as dirt, i had to get the crappies cheap seats, but they're still way low down (I took the Sunday afternoon one...better than say a Fri or Sat night show) and more in the center so I think we'll be okay.
To tell your future, let me look in my crystal blog
So this was a "request blog"....
On Sunday me, the NIcoles, our gay hairdressor Henri and his friend Gina went to Long Beach to see the psychic.
Mother.
Effer.
Don't even get me started on waht should have been an AM thing ended up getting us all home after 5pm....
Or how I accidentally left my Anal Beads (which I bought to prove a point to some coworkers) at the psychic....that effing sucks.
But the REAL blog is how Henry insists that every guy loves a golden shower. Guys REALLY like it. And he insists it's not just gay guys.
Now first off, this is Henry/Henri...you gotta take 99% of what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, he REALLY went into detail of waht it was like, and how you have this feeling of power, and how men love it because they feel all this warmth and...eww well you get the point.
I have never, EVER, ever had a guy request that of me. I probably would have projectile vomitted.
So i'm like "but....it's a bit MESSY don't you think?" and he said that you just put alot of garbage bags everywhere. Well first off, I used to have my cat's litterbox on a plastic garbage bag 'cause when she had diabetes, she would sometimes pee outside the box...um yeah liquid on a plastic bag is NOT easy to clean up, it spills and slips everywhere. And humans pee a boatload more than cats! So wtf!
Henry then said the bathroom...and I"m like "okay the only place that would make sense would be the bathtub. And then someone's gotta SCRUB the bathtub after. That's just not worth it!"....
I guess logistically i'm not sure how that works out. I asked my husband about this (I mean, who am I to deny my man pleasure if that's what he wants?) and he was like "uhh...no" and was clearly disapproving of me spending too much time with my flamboyantly gay hairdressor. He also pointed out taht some men like poop smeared all over them, but don't expect ALL guys to like that. I don't know why I'm even writing that last line, but I thought it was funny and he was also super annoyed with the ideas that were put in my head.
On another note, yes I'll do the Listerine test....although I really think Wintergreen mints are the tried-and-true standby. But....if Henry insists Listerine is better, then I'll do the test and find out.
DANG i'm peeved about those anal beads! Plus i had a coupon for Quizno's in the bag. Double dammit. And lol, NO i was not going to use those beads (as far as i'm concerned, that's an exit zone), it was to prove a point to some people.
One last note on the psychic....geezus....we were DYING of allergies. I barely HAVE allergies and my eyes were going to pop out of my head. We had to wait outside while each girl got her reading, because the incense, candles, and nonstop cigarette smoke was killing us. There were like 5 cats in the place and i'm sure they're going to be effed up from all that smoke. On cat had a dislocated jaw and just kept walking around drooling with it's tongue hung out. Two other cats slept in the window, and the male cat kept trying to mount the female...and she was gonna have none of that...but the poor guy just kept trying and trying to hump her...
I was so wiped after the whole day that I didn't go to the gym, instead I sat downa nd wrote 99% of all the holiday cards I had to write. I can't believe DH wasn't on, wtf.
The song of the day is Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc (it was playing on the radio)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
On Sunday me, the NIcoles, our gay hairdressor Henri and his friend Gina went to Long Beach to see the psychic.
Mother.
Effer.
Don't even get me started on waht should have been an AM thing ended up getting us all home after 5pm....
Or how I accidentally left my Anal Beads (which I bought to prove a point to some coworkers) at the psychic....that effing sucks.
But the REAL blog is how Henry insists that every guy loves a golden shower. Guys REALLY like it. And he insists it's not just gay guys.
Now first off, this is Henry/Henri...you gotta take 99% of what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, he REALLY went into detail of waht it was like, and how you have this feeling of power, and how men love it because they feel all this warmth and...eww well you get the point.
I have never, EVER, ever had a guy request that of me. I probably would have projectile vomitted.
So i'm like "but....it's a bit MESSY don't you think?" and he said that you just put alot of garbage bags everywhere. Well first off, I used to have my cat's litterbox on a plastic garbage bag 'cause when she had diabetes, she would sometimes pee outside the box...um yeah liquid on a plastic bag is NOT easy to clean up, it spills and slips everywhere. And humans pee a boatload more than cats! So wtf!
Henry then said the bathroom...and I"m like "okay the only place that would make sense would be the bathtub. And then someone's gotta SCRUB the bathtub after. That's just not worth it!"....
I guess logistically i'm not sure how that works out. I asked my husband about this (I mean, who am I to deny my man pleasure if that's what he wants?) and he was like "uhh...no" and was clearly disapproving of me spending too much time with my flamboyantly gay hairdressor. He also pointed out taht some men like poop smeared all over them, but don't expect ALL guys to like that. I don't know why I'm even writing that last line, but I thought it was funny and he was also super annoyed with the ideas that were put in my head.
On another note, yes I'll do the Listerine test....although I really think Wintergreen mints are the tried-and-true standby. But....if Henry insists Listerine is better, then I'll do the test and find out.
DANG i'm peeved about those anal beads! Plus i had a coupon for Quizno's in the bag. Double dammit. And lol, NO i was not going to use those beads (as far as i'm concerned, that's an exit zone), it was to prove a point to some people.
One last note on the psychic....geezus....we were DYING of allergies. I barely HAVE allergies and my eyes were going to pop out of my head. We had to wait outside while each girl got her reading, because the incense, candles, and nonstop cigarette smoke was killing us. There were like 5 cats in the place and i'm sure they're going to be effed up from all that smoke. On cat had a dislocated jaw and just kept walking around drooling with it's tongue hung out. Two other cats slept in the window, and the male cat kept trying to mount the female...and she was gonna have none of that...but the poor guy just kept trying and trying to hump her...
I was so wiped after the whole day that I didn't go to the gym, instead I sat downa nd wrote 99% of all the holiday cards I had to write. I can't believe DH wasn't on, wtf.
The song of the day is Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc (it was playing on the radio)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
Sunday, December 11, 2005
First, Sub-zero...now, BLOG-zero!
It's 1:00am and I want credit for going to the gym after Nicole's work party! (Of which, thanks to the wonderful world of roulette...we got enough tix to win Nicole $100!! We kicked ass tonight).
Boatloads of stuff I have to remember to blog about later when I don't have to effing shower and then wrap Kraig's gifts while he's playing D&D downstairs....
At the gym I read Cosmo, Stuff, and Budget Living...they had a mention of the video game version of Fear Factor (it was in their "oh hell no" category)...ummm yeah Kraig's company was/is making that game, and even the people MAKING it think it's retarded and will never get out the door. I find it surprising that it even got enough buzz to be mentioned in Stuff.
The song of the day is Brown Eyed Girl, 'cause I was dancing with Nicole and her coworker Erin at the tables tonight.
Props to Anna...the uber-bitchy-but-super-cool table dealer person...he was a nazi with the table but dang, she liked her style. She told a joke and when I wisecracked that it was maybe a true story, she screamed in her thick accent "OF COURSE NOT! I'M GREAT IN BED!"....Happy Birthday Anna. Hope you enjoy your champagne and men tomorrow night.
American roulette wheels have two "0's", zero and double-zero, which increases the house advantage to 5.4%. In European roulette there is only one zero, giving the house an advantage of 2.7%.
(Wikipedia)
Boatloads of stuff I have to remember to blog about later when I don't have to effing shower and then wrap Kraig's gifts while he's playing D&D downstairs....
At the gym I read Cosmo, Stuff, and Budget Living...they had a mention of the video game version of Fear Factor (it was in their "oh hell no" category)...ummm yeah Kraig's company was/is making that game, and even the people MAKING it think it's retarded and will never get out the door. I find it surprising that it even got enough buzz to be mentioned in Stuff.
The song of the day is Brown Eyed Girl, 'cause I was dancing with Nicole and her coworker Erin at the tables tonight.
Props to Anna...the uber-bitchy-but-super-cool table dealer person...he was a nazi with the table but dang, she liked her style. She told a joke and when I wisecracked that it was maybe a true story, she screamed in her thick accent "OF COURSE NOT! I'M GREAT IN BED!"....Happy Birthday Anna. Hope you enjoy your champagne and men tomorrow night.
American roulette wheels have two "0's", zero and double-zero, which increases the house advantage to 5.4%. In European roulette there is only one zero, giving the house an advantage of 2.7%.
(Wikipedia)
Friday, December 09, 2005
IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi there
MY_MOM: here is ((Childhood friend, but she was the daughter of my dad's friend)) phone nr.: xxx-xxx-xxx
MY_MOM: guess u are busy again, see u
ME: why would i call her
ME: I dont' call people.
MY_MOM: hi there
MY_MOM: well in case u are in san fran and might want to meet her
ME: okay
MY_MOM: like it doesnt do any harm to keep the number in your phonebook
ME: ok
MY_MOM: 76 us$ per person for quarbani, dad wanted to know whether u are going to send a cheque?
ME: sure. who do i make it out to?
MY_MOM: either to me, or dad.... we put the money in our account and then forward it to a person in cornwall who telegraphs it to some madrassa in india. they give the entire amount to the poor, no administration fees, everyone does it for free
ME: ok i'll send it
MY_MOM: ((my mom's full name)).... or.... ((my dad's full name))
ME: um yeah i know your name
MY_MOM: we got a joint account
MY_MOM: ((smiley face))
MY_MOM: cute smiley
MY_MOM: like here all those big so called charities deduct 20 % at least for administration
ME: ok
MY_MOM: over here its more like a business
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the president of united ways earned in the 70s already $ 100 000
ME: ok
MY_MOM: then they have to pay employees, advertising costs a fortune, then they have some big celebrity as a spokesperson, they dont do that for free either
ME: ok
MY_MOM: that way people are inspired and say.... look at that she'he does it for free.... not so, there was a thing the other day about it on tv... making people think that way
ME: ok
MY_MOM: thats how princess diana made millions, she was the spokesperson of countless charity organizations, yet everyone thought she was such an angel
ME: ok
MY_MOM: people adored her and were willing to give freely
MY_MOM: i thought so too, that they all lending their name for free until then
MY_MOM: they have so much money, i think they should do it for free
ME: ok
MY_MOM: not just expect the ordinary working people to give what ever little they can
ME: ok
MY_MOM: lol
MY_MOM: u are busy?
ME: no
MY_MOM: ok
MY_MOM: good, was a bit worried i might bother u, since u just write ok all the time
MY_MOM: but then what is there to say to that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: love that devil
MY_MOM: snowing a lot today, what are u doing this weekend?
ME: going to a friend's work party
MY_MOM: nice, have fun
ME: i plan on it
MY_MOM: sure hope u dont let others talk u into drinking booz
MY_MOM: is kraig coming too?
ME: no you can only bring one person to a company party. it's not a free for all.
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: just thought a partner can come along maybe
MY_MOM: is it a christmas party?
ME: well if i'm going with my friend, and i'm the partner, why would the partner get to bring a partner?!
ME: yes it's a holiday party
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: oh i didnt read it right, i thought it had something to do with your work
ME: no it's a friend's work
MY_MOM: i got it hehe
MY_MOM: how is my marmalade?
ME: she's fine
MY_MOM: stashi pooh still so cute?
ME: yup
MY_MOM: marmalade is so cute, wish she wouldnt have that problem, she still would be here, even dad liked her
ME: ok
MY_MOM: but if i go down to visit u people and i'm away for a while, if she would have pee'd on the sofa or anywhere else, dad wouldnt have had the patience to clean it up, he would have been mad
ME: ok
MY_MOM: he likes smokey now too, alway's worry's about him when he is outside
MY_MOM: i'm surprised how good he actually is with smokey
MY_MOM: like he wasnt that patient before
ME: ok
MY_MOM: kids are having lunch break and playing outside
MY_MOM: seems eons have passed since u went there
ME: it's been almost 20 years
MY_MOM: man oh man
MY_MOM: 20 years younger, what i wouldnt give for that
MY_MOM: i hate getting old
ME: yup
MY_MOM: yup?
ME: yup getting old is bad
MY_MOM: u dont have anything to worry yet, wish i was your age only
MY_MOM: i would kill for that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
ME: ok
MY_MOM: man i feel evil today
MY_MOM: snow stopped, sun just came out, -3, perfect ski weather today
ME: you don't ski
MY_MOM: for those that do
ME: those that do probably have to work today
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: hehe good
MY_MOM: anyway, i let u go, say hi to kraig, hug those babies of yours for me, especially a big one for marmalade
MY_MOM: have a nice weekend
ME: ok
MY_MOM: here is ((Childhood friend, but she was the daughter of my dad's friend)) phone nr.: xxx-xxx-xxx
MY_MOM: guess u are busy again, see u
ME: why would i call her
ME: I dont' call people.
MY_MOM: hi there
MY_MOM: well in case u are in san fran and might want to meet her
ME: okay
MY_MOM: like it doesnt do any harm to keep the number in your phonebook
ME: ok
MY_MOM: 76 us$ per person for quarbani, dad wanted to know whether u are going to send a cheque?
ME: sure. who do i make it out to?
MY_MOM: either to me, or dad.... we put the money in our account and then forward it to a person in cornwall who telegraphs it to some madrassa in india. they give the entire amount to the poor, no administration fees, everyone does it for free
ME: ok i'll send it
MY_MOM: ((my mom's full name)).... or.... ((my dad's full name))
ME: um yeah i know your name
MY_MOM: we got a joint account
MY_MOM: ((smiley face))
MY_MOM: cute smiley
MY_MOM: like here all those big so called charities deduct 20 % at least for administration
ME: ok
MY_MOM: over here its more like a business
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the president of united ways earned in the 70s already $ 100 000
ME: ok
MY_MOM: then they have to pay employees, advertising costs a fortune, then they have some big celebrity as a spokesperson, they dont do that for free either
ME: ok
MY_MOM: that way people are inspired and say.... look at that she'he does it for free.... not so, there was a thing the other day about it on tv... making people think that way
ME: ok
MY_MOM: thats how princess diana made millions, she was the spokesperson of countless charity organizations, yet everyone thought she was such an angel
ME: ok
MY_MOM: people adored her and were willing to give freely
MY_MOM: i thought so too, that they all lending their name for free until then
MY_MOM: they have so much money, i think they should do it for free
ME: ok
MY_MOM: not just expect the ordinary working people to give what ever little they can
ME: ok
MY_MOM: lol
MY_MOM: u are busy?
ME: no
MY_MOM: ok
MY_MOM: good, was a bit worried i might bother u, since u just write ok all the time
MY_MOM: but then what is there to say to that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: love that devil
MY_MOM: snowing a lot today, what are u doing this weekend?
ME: going to a friend's work party
MY_MOM: nice, have fun
ME: i plan on it
MY_MOM: sure hope u dont let others talk u into drinking booz
MY_MOM: is kraig coming too?
ME: no you can only bring one person to a company party. it's not a free for all.
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: just thought a partner can come along maybe
MY_MOM: is it a christmas party?
ME: well if i'm going with my friend, and i'm the partner, why would the partner get to bring a partner?!
ME: yes it's a holiday party
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: oh i didnt read it right, i thought it had something to do with your work
ME: no it's a friend's work
MY_MOM: i got it hehe
MY_MOM: how is my marmalade?
ME: she's fine
MY_MOM: stashi pooh still so cute?
ME: yup
MY_MOM: marmalade is so cute, wish she wouldnt have that problem, she still would be here, even dad liked her
ME: ok
MY_MOM: but if i go down to visit u people and i'm away for a while, if she would have pee'd on the sofa or anywhere else, dad wouldnt have had the patience to clean it up, he would have been mad
ME: ok
MY_MOM: he likes smokey now too, alway's worry's about him when he is outside
MY_MOM: i'm surprised how good he actually is with smokey
MY_MOM: like he wasnt that patient before
ME: ok
MY_MOM: kids are having lunch break and playing outside
MY_MOM: seems eons have passed since u went there
ME: it's been almost 20 years
MY_MOM: man oh man
MY_MOM: 20 years younger, what i wouldnt give for that
MY_MOM: i hate getting old
ME: yup
MY_MOM: yup?
ME: yup getting old is bad
MY_MOM: u dont have anything to worry yet, wish i was your age only
MY_MOM: i would kill for that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
ME: ok
MY_MOM: man i feel evil today
MY_MOM: snow stopped, sun just came out, -3, perfect ski weather today
ME: you don't ski
MY_MOM: for those that do
ME: those that do probably have to work today
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: hehe good
MY_MOM: anyway, i let u go, say hi to kraig, hug those babies of yours for me, especially a big one for marmalade
MY_MOM: have a nice weekend
ME: ok
my blog hates myspace
I swear I rarely check my myspace page because honestly, other than reconnecting with people who I haven't from in ages there's really no point to it (It's not like i'm hooking up or anything). That being said, i do get a fair amount of people emailing me for whatever reasons and i really do reply.
That being said, i thought this was interesting, because i can't figure out if this was a typical "copy and paste and send to every chick on Myspace" or if this is actually somewhat personalized. I swear i hate myspace:
Sabina,
I just read your profile and wanted to thank you. Even if you can't get back to me (you love your husband, think he is hot and my name is not Brad) I wanted you to know:
A) you have an engaging smile
B) you filled out a great profile
C) I think I can help
Help how? By coming up with a headline for you. You deserve one. If I do so and you use it I am going to need you to get back to me and be charming. That's our deal. More on that later.
I am sitting here at work a little bored and slightly hung over, contemplating either hitting the steam room or actually working out, browsing through my new favorite toy - myspace profiles and lo and behold I see a familiar, smiling face. I open the profile and am reminded that you seem to be an interesting woman! This, of course, guarantees I will not get a response from you because that is the karma we call myspace. So if you choose not to respond and leave me with coal at Christmas, then understand I enjoyed your profile the most today.
If you do decide to respond I have a few questions:
1) How did a saeemingly down-to-earth girl like you end up in the social whirlwind of South OC?
2) No plastic surgery? Are they going to kick you out of your "community"?
3) Tanning booth, Spray on or actual sun?
4) Are thongs and g strings the same thing?
5) What do you think will go out of style first, long wife beaters or lowrise jeans?
6) Annoying cat person and annoying canadian? Good thing you are attractive.
Ok. After reading your profile and looking at the headlines of your blog have some up with......
"Great White North Meets South Orange County"
or....
"My guilty pleasures are (somewhat) innocent"
Just trying to keep it interesting, superstar. Hit me back and I might solve the mystery of me.
I gotta give the person credit...it's pretty well written (compared to the average myspace user who clearly knows JACK on how to write an email). Snaps to you "Cash".
That being said, i thought this was interesting, because i can't figure out if this was a typical "copy and paste and send to every chick on Myspace" or if this is actually somewhat personalized. I swear i hate myspace:
Sabina,
I just read your profile and wanted to thank you. Even if you can't get back to me (you love your husband, think he is hot and my name is not Brad) I wanted you to know:
A) you have an engaging smile
B) you filled out a great profile
C) I think I can help
Help how? By coming up with a headline for you. You deserve one. If I do so and you use it I am going to need you to get back to me and be charming. That's our deal. More on that later.
I am sitting here at work a little bored and slightly hung over, contemplating either hitting the steam room or actually working out, browsing through my new favorite toy - myspace profiles and lo and behold I see a familiar, smiling face. I open the profile and am reminded that you seem to be an interesting woman! This, of course, guarantees I will not get a response from you because that is the karma we call myspace. So if you choose not to respond and leave me with coal at Christmas, then understand I enjoyed your profile the most today.
If you do decide to respond I have a few questions:
1) How did a saeemingly down-to-earth girl like you end up in the social whirlwind of South OC?
2) No plastic surgery? Are they going to kick you out of your "community"?
3) Tanning booth, Spray on or actual sun?
4) Are thongs and g strings the same thing?
5) What do you think will go out of style first, long wife beaters or lowrise jeans?
6) Annoying cat person and annoying canadian? Good thing you are attractive.
Ok. After reading your profile and looking at the headlines of your blog have some up with......
"Great White North Meets South Orange County"
or....
"My guilty pleasures are (somewhat) innocent"
Just trying to keep it interesting, superstar. Hit me back and I might solve the mystery of me.
I gotta give the person credit...it's pretty well written (compared to the average myspace user who clearly knows JACK on how to write an email). Snaps to you "Cash".
My blog's five chicks he'd do....
Well I know my husband well. When i asked him to tell me his five for his laminated card a la Friends, he wrote:
Jessica Alba
Eva Longoria
Are the only two people that really jump out at me as I don’t really think about this sort of thing so I don’t try to keep mental notes on a list that is silly and would never actually use.
I take great offense to that. And he'll regret it when Jessica ALba turns him down and then say Charlize Theron attempts to seduce him.
Jessica Alba
Eva Longoria
Are the only two people that really jump out at me as I don’t really think about this sort of thing so I don’t try to keep mental notes on a list that is silly and would never actually use.
I take great offense to that. And he'll regret it when Jessica ALba turns him down and then say Charlize Theron attempts to seduce him.
Tyra, Heidi, and my Blog
I'm going to be a traitor to my gender and say that I love this commercial, and I think it's effective:
Thrill me
Surprise me
Dazzle me
Delight me
Please me
Tease me
Give me days I'll always remember
and nights I'll never forget
Give me everything I want
and nothing that I need
Give me you
you
you
It almost makes me want to roll around in bed with perfectly coiffed hair wearing Victoria's Secret. ALMOST.
Thrill me
Surprise me
Dazzle me
Delight me
Please me
Tease me
Give me days I'll always remember
and nights I'll never forget
Give me everything I want
and nothing that I need
Give me you
you
you
It almost makes me want to roll around in bed with perfectly coiffed hair wearing Victoria's Secret. ALMOST.
Oh my God! They killed my blog!
So apparently the masses are quite upset that I think Ryan Reynolds is hot. I don't see where the confusion lies....why does everyone keep saying "Ryan Reynolds?! What?!" to me?!!! The dude is super hot, he's got great hair, and he's always playing a witty-yet-sarcastic type...i dig that. Did I mention his hair?
What-eva! I do what i want!
Something to point out from Entertainment Weekly online's recap of the OC:
Dream on, dude. Matt still really bugs me. There's something about his face I don't like. It could just be his face.
YES YES YES. I knew it. He is NOT good looking. He's bizarre. He's like a messed up version of Christian Bale. He's making Ryan look hot. Actually, I'm starting to think Ryan's not that bad looking. He's no Seth....but...he's growing on me. Maybe it's because he's either around that ugly Matt guy or that skinny Johnny guy.
Maybe there should be another rule for men (speaking of Johnny)....I don't care if you got hit by a car. Stop acting like a flippin' p*ssy when you're pouring yourself water. In fact, poor people don't use glass pitchers. I know. I'm poor. I use Rubbermaid. Or my pitcher i got from the Dollar Store. So that whole "oh whoa is me i slipped and broke glass Marissa can you help me" thing is BS. Ryan's got nothing to worry about...Johnny crashed his way into the Friend Bucket on his own.
Six days and counting until Chrismukkah. I'm declaring Thursday Wear Your Yarmaclaus to Work Day. Dress appropriately.
I need me a yarmaclaus.
Don't think I forgot about that gorgeous, GORGEOUS bracelet...I think about it almost every day...I got a coupon from the jewelry store that sells it, but it's only $60 off...um yeah that won't help me when that bracelet is a few grand. OH MY GOD it was gorgeous. SIgh.
What-eva! I do what i want!
Something to point out from Entertainment Weekly online's recap of the OC:
Dream on, dude. Matt still really bugs me. There's something about his face I don't like. It could just be his face.
YES YES YES. I knew it. He is NOT good looking. He's bizarre. He's like a messed up version of Christian Bale. He's making Ryan look hot. Actually, I'm starting to think Ryan's not that bad looking. He's no Seth....but...he's growing on me. Maybe it's because he's either around that ugly Matt guy or that skinny Johnny guy.
Maybe there should be another rule for men (speaking of Johnny)....I don't care if you got hit by a car. Stop acting like a flippin' p*ssy when you're pouring yourself water. In fact, poor people don't use glass pitchers. I know. I'm poor. I use Rubbermaid. Or my pitcher i got from the Dollar Store. So that whole "oh whoa is me i slipped and broke glass Marissa can you help me" thing is BS. Ryan's got nothing to worry about...Johnny crashed his way into the Friend Bucket on his own.
Six days and counting until Chrismukkah. I'm declaring Thursday Wear Your Yarmaclaus to Work Day. Dress appropriately.
I need me a yarmaclaus.
Don't think I forgot about that gorgeous, GORGEOUS bracelet...I think about it almost every day...I got a coupon from the jewelry store that sells it, but it's only $60 off...um yeah that won't help me when that bracelet is a few grand. OH MY GOD it was gorgeous. SIgh.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Jingle blog, jingle blog, jingle blog rock
Two more things that need to be added my list from yesterday's blog:
Bath Poofs..I don't care if a guy uses soap, body wash, whatever (as long as he uses something of course!)...but bath poofs are for GIRLS. And yes, I knew a guy who used a bath poof. And it was disgusting because he never replaced it, he figured the anti-bacterial body wash negated the bacteria in the poof. Um yeah....no. And bath poofs are for GIRLS.
"Cute"...the only time a guy can call something cute is when he's talking about a girl. Or something on a girl (like her top). That's IT. Case in point: last night i finally caught up on Dr. 90210 and that stupid dude married to Dr. Lee said his OWN shorts were "cute". WHAT THE F*CK. I know the point was that he got a matching pair for the baby, but he said his OWN were cute. AND nothing on a baby boy should be described as cute by a man. Ever. Unless you're gay. Then you can also say "snap!" and "trash!" all you want.
That aside, onto the tv watching for the night....
Dr. 90210: yeah i finally saw the premiere. STefanie, you're right: Dr Rey's hair looks SOOOOOO much better with the highlights. And mother effer, his wife lost a BOATLOAD of weight after losing that kid...she used to be healthy-thin, now she's "send World Vision to her door"-thin...no wonder she doens't want a kid. And no wonder she's TIRED all the time...it's not from your birth control, it's 'cause you need a burger!
The other thing I realized is that people in general have BAD SKIN. Okay i give you props for going on Dr. 90210 and getting naked. But...i mean people have bad, bad skin. That one chick who was 32....geezus I'll shoot myself if my skin gets like that. I already use Nivea Renewal NIght Cream for my upper body at night and Nivea Reshaping treatment on my legs (of which, so far it's the best cellulite cream i've found so far)....so hopefully that'll keep things looking decent.
My plan is to finally clear out the spare bedroom over the xmas holidays, sell all my crap on ebay, and with that cash put it towards the Sabina's Botox Fund. Booyah.
America's Next Top Model: mannnnn I love that show. That being said, i can't BELIEVE Nik didn't win. I mean, you tell me who'd sell a product better:
or
I looooove Nik....I can't believe Nicole won...i'm so pissed. So i texted my coworker Caroline all night during the show, and when Nicole won I wrote:
"WTF! She steals granola bars!" and Caroline wrote: "they had to pick a white girl to be politically correct"
That made me laugh so effing hard, it almost compensated for how pissed I was that Nik didn't win.
Lost: Okay I still haven't seen last week's episode. I admit it. I'm really backlogged! It's not my fault.
My name is earl: Um yeah still backlogged on that too.
Tonight is OC NIGHT BABY! Maybe one day I'll convince Henry to let me have Mischa Barton's hair....this whole "Eva Longoria's ugly kid sister" hair isn't cutting it anymore.
And to reiterate, my top 5 guys on my laminated card:
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. The Rock
3. Nick Lachey
ugh this is where it gets sketchy....
4. Jimmy Fallon (he'd be fun.....)
4.1 Adam Brody (Okay really I just want Seth...but same diff. )
5. Matt Damon (he's hot, bite me)
5.1 Clive Owen (damn I'm a sucker for deep voice and a brit accent)
5.2 LL Cool J (those lips! That should be outlawed)
5.3 Paul Walker....this is one of those guys that you don't want to hear him speak, just shut up and look pretty
5.4 Sean William Scott ...yeah i know. Stifler. I think the boy is hot. Suck it.
And I knwo Ben Affleck has gone downhill, but i thought he was hot around Armeggedon. And Tom Cruise was WAY hot in his Cocktail years. And Antonio Banderas was UBER hot during his Desperado years. Mel Gibson way super hot during his Lethal Weapon years. Bruce Willis was hot in his Die Hard years. But...those times are gone, so they don't make the list.
I've bugged Kraig before for his list, the first time years ago he had Jennifer Conolly (sp), Halle Barry, Janet Jackson, and some playboy models. I asked him again this year and he had like Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba, and some other random chicks. In fact, i'm gonna email him now and give me his top 5 and i'll seriously put it on a laminated card for him.
Okay, nuff babbling for now. I've had alot on my mind. Suck it.
Song of the day: Stickwitu by PussyCat Dolls
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Tazo count for Wednesday: 4
I'm not drinking enough this week...usually i'm average around 6.
Bath Poofs..I don't care if a guy uses soap, body wash, whatever (as long as he uses something of course!)...but bath poofs are for GIRLS. And yes, I knew a guy who used a bath poof. And it was disgusting because he never replaced it, he figured the anti-bacterial body wash negated the bacteria in the poof. Um yeah....no. And bath poofs are for GIRLS.
"Cute"...the only time a guy can call something cute is when he's talking about a girl. Or something on a girl (like her top). That's IT. Case in point: last night i finally caught up on Dr. 90210 and that stupid dude married to Dr. Lee said his OWN shorts were "cute". WHAT THE F*CK. I know the point was that he got a matching pair for the baby, but he said his OWN were cute. AND nothing on a baby boy should be described as cute by a man. Ever. Unless you're gay. Then you can also say "snap!" and "trash!" all you want.
That aside, onto the tv watching for the night....
Dr. 90210: yeah i finally saw the premiere. STefanie, you're right: Dr Rey's hair looks SOOOOOO much better with the highlights. And mother effer, his wife lost a BOATLOAD of weight after losing that kid...she used to be healthy-thin, now she's "send World Vision to her door"-thin...no wonder she doens't want a kid. And no wonder she's TIRED all the time...it's not from your birth control, it's 'cause you need a burger!
The other thing I realized is that people in general have BAD SKIN. Okay i give you props for going on Dr. 90210 and getting naked. But...i mean people have bad, bad skin. That one chick who was 32....geezus I'll shoot myself if my skin gets like that. I already use Nivea Renewal NIght Cream for my upper body at night and Nivea Reshaping treatment on my legs (of which, so far it's the best cellulite cream i've found so far)....so hopefully that'll keep things looking decent.
My plan is to finally clear out the spare bedroom over the xmas holidays, sell all my crap on ebay, and with that cash put it towards the Sabina's Botox Fund. Booyah.
America's Next Top Model: mannnnn I love that show. That being said, i can't BELIEVE Nik didn't win. I mean, you tell me who'd sell a product better:
or
I looooove Nik....I can't believe Nicole won...i'm so pissed. So i texted my coworker Caroline all night during the show, and when Nicole won I wrote:
"WTF! She steals granola bars!" and Caroline wrote: "they had to pick a white girl to be politically correct"
That made me laugh so effing hard, it almost compensated for how pissed I was that Nik didn't win.
Lost: Okay I still haven't seen last week's episode. I admit it. I'm really backlogged! It's not my fault.
My name is earl: Um yeah still backlogged on that too.
Tonight is OC NIGHT BABY! Maybe one day I'll convince Henry to let me have Mischa Barton's hair....this whole "Eva Longoria's ugly kid sister" hair isn't cutting it anymore.
And to reiterate, my top 5 guys on my laminated card:
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. The Rock
3. Nick Lachey
ugh this is where it gets sketchy....
4. Jimmy Fallon (he'd be fun.....)
4.1 Adam Brody (Okay really I just want Seth...but same diff. )
5. Matt Damon (he's hot, bite me)
5.1 Clive Owen (damn I'm a sucker for deep voice and a brit accent)
5.2 LL Cool J (those lips! That should be outlawed)
5.3 Paul Walker....this is one of those guys that you don't want to hear him speak, just shut up and look pretty
5.4 Sean William Scott ...yeah i know. Stifler. I think the boy is hot. Suck it.
And I knwo Ben Affleck has gone downhill, but i thought he was hot around Armeggedon. And Tom Cruise was WAY hot in his Cocktail years. And Antonio Banderas was UBER hot during his Desperado years. Mel Gibson way super hot during his Lethal Weapon years. Bruce Willis was hot in his Die Hard years. But...those times are gone, so they don't make the list.
I've bugged Kraig before for his list, the first time years ago he had Jennifer Conolly (sp), Halle Barry, Janet Jackson, and some playboy models. I asked him again this year and he had like Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba, and some other random chicks. In fact, i'm gonna email him now and give me his top 5 and i'll seriously put it on a laminated card for him.
Okay, nuff babbling for now. I've had alot on my mind. Suck it.
Song of the day: Stickwitu by PussyCat Dolls
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Tazo count for Wednesday: 4
I'm not drinking enough this week...usually i'm average around 6.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
To make sure your blog is manly, use the following procedure:
So apparently I'm not the only chick that has some defined "rules" when it comes to guys. I realize I'm married, but I certainly do judge guys, my friends' boyfriends/dates/manfriends/etc, because I certainly have at least the same if not higher standards for my girlfriends.
General rules:
Real Men Eat Meat. Fish doesn't count as meat. And I'm anti-pork. But real men are NOT vegetarians, and they appreciate a good hunk of meat cooked up on the grill. Goes back to caveman stuff. I want my men chopping wood and slapping a dead cow on their fire. You can't have passion if you only eat Tofurkey at thanksgiving.
No pink. EVER. Well okay at Hallowe'en, maybe. Pink is a BIG no no. I don't care if you shirt has a teenie bit of pink in it...it better have skulls on it then. Pink is for baby girls, for delicate things....heck it's the color for Breast Cancer Awareness for God's sakes....now unless you have breasts, you shouldn't wear it.
FLowered shirts This doesn't apply to Hawaiian print shirts....Magnum PI was hot for an 80s dude with a mustache. And yes we all know a certain Chino boy who likes his flowery shirts. But I'm sorry. Really, I am. But...choosing to wear FLOWERS on your torso...that's...so....bizarre....that's like voluntarily choosing to wear ribbons on your shirt. Why would you do that? It makes no sense.
P*ssy cars. Excuse my language...I really don't swear. But certain cars are unacceptable for guys to drive, such as: the Jetta, Tercel, HOnda Del Sol, Mazda Miata...you get the drift. Chick cars. VW Bugs are big time unacceptable. Well, all of these are okay for gay guys. FLAMING gay guys. Now let it be known, i do NOT require guys drive expensive cars. I couldn't care a less if all you can afford is a 1980 honda civic with each door a different color. I'll take a $500 beater car over a $30,000 chick car any day. So this doesn't make me shallow or materialistic. It just means that REAL MEN feel strongly about their choice of vehicle...just like they do meat.
And on that note, I'm okay if the rule should be applied to chicks too. I realize some chicks drive uber tough trucks. If, as a guy, you want to discriminate against a chick because her car is too dyke-ish...go right ahead. A chick driving a manly truck knows full well that she's little miss tough thang and that can scare off guys. I'm an equal-opportunity-car-discriminatory-chick.
Drive standard...stick, manual, standard, whatever you want to call it. I don't care if your CAR is manual...I just require that the guy knows how to drive stick. I know, not every guy can....so this one I'll let slide if the guy is fantastic. But the first time you see that sucker cry (i don't care if his dog died or if he got one of his nuts cut off)...you just remember, that pansy cries AND he can't drive stick...might as well cut off the other nut too.
Pay on the first date Yeah yeah i know. All the men of the world unite and scream at me. But before you do, remember, i'm the chick who advocates everyone be Crazy Fun Girl when your guy starts to back off and CFG gives lots of head. So...yeah before you argue with me....
The way i figure it, it's just old fashioned romance. I know we work, we want women's lib (personally, i DON'T...i'm FINE not working and living on one income, trust me, and having dinner ready every night as a result)...i mean, somehow in the end I end up paying for both me and the guy for YEARS to come...so at the very least, i just want ONE NIGHT where I can pull out my wallet and the guy says "Don't be silly, put that thing away"...since I'm paying for your sorry ass for the next N dates, you might as well just humor me with just ONE night off.
Eat more than the chick. This is SIGNIFICANT. I do NOT order salads on dates...heck, on my first date with Kraig I ordered the biggest plate of pasta. And i did that with all my dates after I became newly single and dated in the US. I think Kraig was horrified. But the point is...as a man, you have to eat more than me. You do NOT order a f*cking salad. I don't care that your company took you for all you can eat buffet at lunch. I don't care if you're going to work out later. I don't give a crap. I'm a girl, i'm half your size, eat a f*cking meal. And if you already ate...well who the ((bleep)) eats before a dinner date? That happened to Kim once...I would have ordered 5 courses (since it's the first date and he's paying anyway) and made him watch me chow through it all.
And on that note, tom lykes will be the first to tell men...if you're just gonna get laid anyway, order a salad because no chick will eat more than a guy and then you don't ahve to pay for a big huge meal. So if a dude orders a salad...order the most expensive thingo n the menu then bail out early because *yawn* you have an early morning....
NO BRIEFS...okay I've fortunately never had to be exposed to a guy who wore briefs (just boxers, or boxer briefs)...but i figured i'd throw that in for good measure.
Okay that's my list for now. Feel free to hate me. And then drive off in your Del Sol while you snack on a rice cake.
Added to say: MOTHER EFFER....Ryan Reynolds and The Rock are gonna do a buddy movie together. Those are 2 guys from my 5 list. (well the ever changing 5..but they are always on it). They better get off their asses and start filming.
General rules:
Real Men Eat Meat. Fish doesn't count as meat. And I'm anti-pork. But real men are NOT vegetarians, and they appreciate a good hunk of meat cooked up on the grill. Goes back to caveman stuff. I want my men chopping wood and slapping a dead cow on their fire. You can't have passion if you only eat Tofurkey at thanksgiving.
No pink. EVER. Well okay at Hallowe'en, maybe. Pink is a BIG no no. I don't care if you shirt has a teenie bit of pink in it...it better have skulls on it then. Pink is for baby girls, for delicate things....heck it's the color for Breast Cancer Awareness for God's sakes....now unless you have breasts, you shouldn't wear it.
FLowered shirts This doesn't apply to Hawaiian print shirts....Magnum PI was hot for an 80s dude with a mustache. And yes we all know a certain Chino boy who likes his flowery shirts. But I'm sorry. Really, I am. But...choosing to wear FLOWERS on your torso...that's...so....bizarre....that's like voluntarily choosing to wear ribbons on your shirt. Why would you do that? It makes no sense.
P*ssy cars. Excuse my language...I really don't swear. But certain cars are unacceptable for guys to drive, such as: the Jetta, Tercel, HOnda Del Sol, Mazda Miata...you get the drift. Chick cars. VW Bugs are big time unacceptable. Well, all of these are okay for gay guys. FLAMING gay guys. Now let it be known, i do NOT require guys drive expensive cars. I couldn't care a less if all you can afford is a 1980 honda civic with each door a different color. I'll take a $500 beater car over a $30,000 chick car any day. So this doesn't make me shallow or materialistic. It just means that REAL MEN feel strongly about their choice of vehicle...just like they do meat.
And on that note, I'm okay if the rule should be applied to chicks too. I realize some chicks drive uber tough trucks. If, as a guy, you want to discriminate against a chick because her car is too dyke-ish...go right ahead. A chick driving a manly truck knows full well that she's little miss tough thang and that can scare off guys. I'm an equal-opportunity-car-discriminatory-chick.
Drive standard...stick, manual, standard, whatever you want to call it. I don't care if your CAR is manual...I just require that the guy knows how to drive stick. I know, not every guy can....so this one I'll let slide if the guy is fantastic. But the first time you see that sucker cry (i don't care if his dog died or if he got one of his nuts cut off)...you just remember, that pansy cries AND he can't drive stick...might as well cut off the other nut too.
Pay on the first date Yeah yeah i know. All the men of the world unite and scream at me. But before you do, remember, i'm the chick who advocates everyone be Crazy Fun Girl when your guy starts to back off and CFG gives lots of head. So...yeah before you argue with me....
The way i figure it, it's just old fashioned romance. I know we work, we want women's lib (personally, i DON'T...i'm FINE not working and living on one income, trust me, and having dinner ready every night as a result)...i mean, somehow in the end I end up paying for both me and the guy for YEARS to come...so at the very least, i just want ONE NIGHT where I can pull out my wallet and the guy says "Don't be silly, put that thing away"...since I'm paying for your sorry ass for the next N dates, you might as well just humor me with just ONE night off.
Eat more than the chick. This is SIGNIFICANT. I do NOT order salads on dates...heck, on my first date with Kraig I ordered the biggest plate of pasta. And i did that with all my dates after I became newly single and dated in the US. I think Kraig was horrified. But the point is...as a man, you have to eat more than me. You do NOT order a f*cking salad. I don't care that your company took you for all you can eat buffet at lunch. I don't care if you're going to work out later. I don't give a crap. I'm a girl, i'm half your size, eat a f*cking meal. And if you already ate...well who the ((bleep)) eats before a dinner date? That happened to Kim once...I would have ordered 5 courses (since it's the first date and he's paying anyway) and made him watch me chow through it all.
And on that note, tom lykes will be the first to tell men...if you're just gonna get laid anyway, order a salad because no chick will eat more than a guy and then you don't ahve to pay for a big huge meal. So if a dude orders a salad...order the most expensive thingo n the menu then bail out early because *yawn* you have an early morning....
NO BRIEFS...okay I've fortunately never had to be exposed to a guy who wore briefs (just boxers, or boxer briefs)...but i figured i'd throw that in for good measure.
Okay that's my list for now. Feel free to hate me. And then drive off in your Del Sol while you snack on a rice cake.
Added to say: MOTHER EFFER....Ryan Reynolds and The Rock are gonna do a buddy movie together. Those are 2 guys from my 5 list. (well the ever changing 5..but they are always on it). They better get off their asses and start filming.
The things every blog should know
From Maximonline.com (too lazy to type the html to link it), they have 100 Things Every Guy Should Know. I condensed the ones that I think are important:
The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines. I saw on Travel Channel that Roulette is the worst and Slots are better...but um yeah doesn't matter, 'cause I only win at Roulette anyway.
The best time of day to buy shoesLate afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size. Every girl knows this, guys should too.
Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough. Like a guy can change that anyway. What's the point of that knowledge for men?
The just-to-be-sure testicle check
The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:
1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.
2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps.
3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.)
4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.) A guy should be healthy!
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.So much for those Bernoulli trials...
What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery. What if you don't have metal fillings in your mouth?
How to preserve meat in the wild Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag. because I require my men to drive non-p*ssy cars, save me from a burning building, and eat MEAT.
To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do. I swear I should just DRINK hand sanitizer.
The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds. I want credit for knowing the diff between a production car and a stock car. ANyway this is just to add "oomph" to the soon-to-be written blog about guys and cars.
Five no-fail fashion rules
Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.
If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.
If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.
Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.
Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.as per yesterday...i don't think pink should EVER be allowed. And "olive" is okay on guys.
How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly. Every guy should have this info plastered everywhere.
Numbers you should know
Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.
I'm sorry I had to post this one...I'm going to die laughing at the last one. Which makes me wonder:
1. HOw many subjects were used to get that average?
2. What's the fastest?
3. What's the slowest?
8 Things You Don’t Know
Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In our noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions. Maxim’s here to set the record straight.
- An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.
- The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.
- A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.
- Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.
- Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.
- Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.
- Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.
- Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.
Yeah that Einstein thing always bugged me. It's like when people say that Bill Gates dropped out of college. Um yeah are YOU dropping out to form your own software company? Exactly. So shut up and do your homework you weed smokin' slacker.
How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”
Italian and Spanish sound the best to me.....
The song of the day is Time of your life (good riddance) by Green Day
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
Time wake up.
The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines. I saw on Travel Channel that Roulette is the worst and Slots are better...but um yeah doesn't matter, 'cause I only win at Roulette anyway.
The best time of day to buy shoesLate afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size. Every girl knows this, guys should too.
Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough. Like a guy can change that anyway. What's the point of that knowledge for men?
The just-to-be-sure testicle check
The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:
1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.
2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps.
3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.)
4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.) A guy should be healthy!
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.So much for those Bernoulli trials...
What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery. What if you don't have metal fillings in your mouth?
How to preserve meat in the wild Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag. because I require my men to drive non-p*ssy cars, save me from a burning building, and eat MEAT.
To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do. I swear I should just DRINK hand sanitizer.
The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds. I want credit for knowing the diff between a production car and a stock car. ANyway this is just to add "oomph" to the soon-to-be written blog about guys and cars.
Five no-fail fashion rules
Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.
If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.
If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.
Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.
Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.as per yesterday...i don't think pink should EVER be allowed. And "olive" is okay on guys.
How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly. Every guy should have this info plastered everywhere.
Numbers you should know
Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.
I'm sorry I had to post this one...I'm going to die laughing at the last one. Which makes me wonder:
1. HOw many subjects were used to get that average?
2. What's the fastest?
3. What's the slowest?
8 Things You Don’t Know
Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In our noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions. Maxim’s here to set the record straight.
- An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.
- The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.
- A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.
- Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.
- Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.
- Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.
- Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.
- Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.
Yeah that Einstein thing always bugged me. It's like when people say that Bill Gates dropped out of college. Um yeah are YOU dropping out to form your own software company? Exactly. So shut up and do your homework you weed smokin' slacker.
How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”
Italian and Spanish sound the best to me.....
The song of the day is Time of your life (good riddance) by Green Day
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
Time wake up.
IM with my mom
I should post more of these, but really I don't even pay attention when I'm actually having the conversation....
My_Mom: hi whats up
Me: nothing
My_Mom: how are the pussycatos?
My_Mom: i think marmalade gets so anxious because she wants to go outside
My_Mom: she was after all an outdoor cat all her life
Me: maybe
My_Mom: a video came out with cats meowing xmas songs, they showed it on tv this morning, smoking watched
My_Mom: it was so cute
My_Mom: smokey I ment
My_Mom: wish i could hug her right now
My_Mom: how is stash pooh?
Me: he's good
My_Mom: still naughty?
My_Mom: not naughty, just playful and he wants to play with marmalade really
Me: yes
My_Mom: they advertised in the flyer a climbing post, with a basket on top and a hous on the side, some ball hanging from the other side for them to play
My_Mom: that would be fun for the cats, costs 176 $
Me: yup
My_Mom: should buy them one
My_Mom: bet marmalade would love to sleep in that house
My_Mom: the whole post is covered with carpet
Me: i did that remember...marmalade peed on it.
My_Mom: oops forgot
My_Mom: she is really something
My_Mom: what u need is wood floor only, no carpet at all
Me: yup
My_Mom: ((my brother))said its ok... u get the jewellery and the stamps, he gets the coins
My_Mom: works for him, so no fighting over it should i die all over sudden
Me: okay
My_Mom: also the pendants are framed coins hehe
My_Mom: typical austrian thing
My_Mom: also keep the wind up watches, they might be worth something one day
My_Mom: cant get them anymore
My_Mom: have to finish washing the floor, c u
Me: ok
My_Mom: hi whats up
Me: nothing
My_Mom: how are the pussycatos?
My_Mom: i think marmalade gets so anxious because she wants to go outside
My_Mom: she was after all an outdoor cat all her life
Me: maybe
My_Mom: a video came out with cats meowing xmas songs, they showed it on tv this morning, smoking watched
My_Mom: it was so cute
My_Mom: smokey I ment
My_Mom: wish i could hug her right now
My_Mom: how is stash pooh?
Me: he's good
My_Mom: still naughty?
My_Mom: not naughty, just playful and he wants to play with marmalade really
Me: yes
My_Mom: they advertised in the flyer a climbing post, with a basket on top and a hous on the side, some ball hanging from the other side for them to play
My_Mom: that would be fun for the cats, costs 176 $
Me: yup
My_Mom: should buy them one
My_Mom: bet marmalade would love to sleep in that house
My_Mom: the whole post is covered with carpet
Me: i did that remember...marmalade peed on it.
My_Mom: oops forgot
My_Mom: she is really something
My_Mom: what u need is wood floor only, no carpet at all
Me: yup
My_Mom: ((my brother))said its ok... u get the jewellery and the stamps, he gets the coins
My_Mom: works for him, so no fighting over it should i die all over sudden
Me: okay
My_Mom: also the pendants are framed coins hehe
My_Mom: typical austrian thing
My_Mom: also keep the wind up watches, they might be worth something one day
My_Mom: cant get them anymore
My_Mom: have to finish washing the floor, c u
Me: ok
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Edumacate your blog
Some interesting news bits to read today:
Is monogamy dead?: A 'mistake' that doesn't count?
Schwartz has likened this attitude to overeating. We say we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway. And when we do, we still claim to be monogamous, chalking up our fling (flings?) as “a mistake” that doesn’t count. We take a mulligan.You know who you are.
TrimSpa sued over Anna Nicole Smith....okay clearly the problem is that you should never, EVER have Anna Nicole at a CHARITY event...that's like inviting Michael Jackson to a nursery school and then getting upset when he plays doctor. Come on now people!
Kazaa owners work to install filters...sigh I miss my napster days! It was so therapeutic to just stare at those download bars. My email address back then was "NapsterAddict@rogers.com"....knowing what i know now, I should have bought a MASSIVE hard drive no matter the cost and downloaded everything and anything.
Microsoft sued over XBox...only 'cause we talked about the glitches so much.
Howard Stern is getting Sirius on the airwaves... I really need to get off my ass and get my Sirius finally. All week he's been doing his farewell stuff, and it's SO sad. He's one of the few GOOD things i've experienced about moving to the US (we don't have him on the airwaves in Canada), other than Circus Animal Cookies and Macaroni Grill.
The song of the day is Can I Have It Like That by Pharrell featuring Gwen
So, drop ya purse, and grab ya hips,
And act like ya tryin' to get this money right quick,
So can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Will post my Tazo count in a few hours....
Is monogamy dead?: A 'mistake' that doesn't count?
Schwartz has likened this attitude to overeating. We say we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway. And when we do, we still claim to be monogamous, chalking up our fling (flings?) as “a mistake” that doesn’t count. We take a mulligan.You know who you are.
TrimSpa sued over Anna Nicole Smith....okay clearly the problem is that you should never, EVER have Anna Nicole at a CHARITY event...that's like inviting Michael Jackson to a nursery school and then getting upset when he plays doctor. Come on now people!
Kazaa owners work to install filters...sigh I miss my napster days! It was so therapeutic to just stare at those download bars. My email address back then was "NapsterAddict@rogers.com"....knowing what i know now, I should have bought a MASSIVE hard drive no matter the cost and downloaded everything and anything.
Microsoft sued over XBox...only 'cause we talked about the glitches so much.
Howard Stern is getting Sirius on the airwaves... I really need to get off my ass and get my Sirius finally. All week he's been doing his farewell stuff, and it's SO sad. He's one of the few GOOD things i've experienced about moving to the US (we don't have him on the airwaves in Canada), other than Circus Animal Cookies and Macaroni Grill.
The song of the day is Can I Have It Like That by Pharrell featuring Gwen
So, drop ya purse, and grab ya hips,
And act like ya tryin' to get this money right quick,
So can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Will post my Tazo count in a few hours....
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