Okay so y'all are missing the point of my canadian gripe.
GIFT CARDS are what I wanted to buy. It's not that i CANT buy a cuisineart...but taht being said, i don't want to buy an actual item because housewares/wedding gifts aren't something really that people can buy unless you see the people all the time (I've never been to this friend's place in Toronto, i have no idea what she has).
My point is...you can't buy an effing gift card online for 99% of the stores in Canada that most people shop at. And yes, i COULD buy a Bay gift card, but that's my point...that's only one of the few and I have no desire to really give a Bay gift card, to be quite honest if I can avoid it.
AND...i know i can get OTHERS in canada to send it, but that's so impersonal...i have a card, i'd like to send the card along WITH the gift...
I shouldn't have to do that. If Best Buy, HOme Depot, Williams SOnoma, etc all allow gift card purchases through their US sites, then wtf you should be able to do the same thing with the Canadian sites. Geezus it's all the same back end technology.
As for Amazon.ca ...they don't really have as many "free shipping over $25" options as the US site, and I don't want my friends to be stuck buyin stuff that won't cost alot to ship (because then that's the exact same problem that i have here trying to ship stuff without paying too much).
Focus people: i just want a frickin' gift card, and I want Canada to actually leap into 21st century.
It's all good though...Evan's hooking me up with my gift card to Best Buy.....
Friday, June 23, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Oh Canada!
So no big surprise, I'm Canadian.
Suck it.
I've been fantasizing about getting one of those "Made in Canada" tattoos, which everyone in Canada has...but well obviously I'm not in Canada so that might be kinda cool. Minus the Hep-C fear. And minus that I think tattoos look pretty crappy after a few years (no offense to people who have them). Minus that I go through hell and a half to AVOID scarring my skin.
Anyway buying gifts for my friends in Canada for birthdays or whatever is SUCH a pain. Usually because everything I send I have to factor in the cost of shipping. I can't just mail some big bulky $30 item and then pay $20 for shipping...that's retarded.
Or even if i get something else that's small, if it's pricey then I'd wantt o insure it. Well THEN my friends get taxed on it in Canada, and I think it's dumb to send something that's going to make them pay money just to get it from the post office.
Right now I'm having a bitch of a time with a friend in Toronto's wedding gift. She didn't register, and she doesn't want a gift, but she can suck it...I adore her, she's getting a flippin' gift.
BUT...with registries, i don't know what she would need and I"m not paying to mail a frickin' Cusineart food processor if it turns out she'll never use it or has one already.
So...now you're thinking..."Hey beotch, shut yer pie hole and just get her a gift card".
Riigghtt.
Canada is apparently too ghetto for online gift card shopping. So far the only stores I've found that have gift cards available for online purchase are The Bay, Sears, and Canadian Tire.
The Bay is alright...probably what I'll end up doing...but it's more of a "mom" kind of place to shop. It's like...Macy's I guess...so you COULD buy housewares there, but you wouldn't think to do that.
Sears...well in Canada it's not half as ghetto as it is in the US, but I think they bought out Eatons and both of them are bankrupt so I don't want to even risk that. Plus they only allow for specific denominations, none in the category that I want to spend (I suppose I could combine a few to make the dollar amount, but taht would be kinda tacky).
Canadian Tire...well that would be okay if they lived in a house right now but they don't...and I can't even remember what I ever went in there for. (No, they don't just sell tires. It's kinda like...OSH...mixed with automotive stuff).
HOme Depot...they don't even mention gift cards ANYWHERE on their site. They have suggestions for gifts...no gift cards. Do a search for "gift card"...and the search comes up with nothing. WTF.
Heck, I even checked out Walmart's Canadian site. No gift cards. Plus, if you want to do a search you have to search within each department, you can't search the entire site. That's effing annoying as dirt.
What I really wanted was either Best Buy or Williams Sonoma...ummm wtf. Williams Sonoma's canadian website is so useless, and you can't buy gift cards. Flippin' Best Buy's website lets you buy stuff online...but apparently gift cards can only be purchased in store. WTF! Is it THAT hard to ship?!!
Maybe there are laws about buying gift cards online, I don't know...but you'd think for any organization that is the #1 easiest thing to sell and ship online.
I have never been so flippin' annoyed in my life.
In the end, I'll probably ask Evan (dude!!! if you're reading this...) to pick up one for me, bring it with him next week, so that I can write up a nice wedding card and mail it back to Canada.
C'mon Canada...you whine that the US doesn't notice you, that you really are powerful deep down inside...uhhh, how about you learn some technological advances and ALLOW ONLINE GIFT CARD PURCHASES WTF!!!
FYI: No, I don't say "eh". I've said it like ONCE in my life.
FYI p2: KA TOE MAH TAY!! ha haaaa
Suck it.
I've been fantasizing about getting one of those "Made in Canada" tattoos, which everyone in Canada has...but well obviously I'm not in Canada so that might be kinda cool. Minus the Hep-C fear. And minus that I think tattoos look pretty crappy after a few years (no offense to people who have them). Minus that I go through hell and a half to AVOID scarring my skin.
Anyway buying gifts for my friends in Canada for birthdays or whatever is SUCH a pain. Usually because everything I send I have to factor in the cost of shipping. I can't just mail some big bulky $30 item and then pay $20 for shipping...that's retarded.
Or even if i get something else that's small, if it's pricey then I'd wantt o insure it. Well THEN my friends get taxed on it in Canada, and I think it's dumb to send something that's going to make them pay money just to get it from the post office.
Right now I'm having a bitch of a time with a friend in Toronto's wedding gift. She didn't register, and she doesn't want a gift, but she can suck it...I adore her, she's getting a flippin' gift.
BUT...with registries, i don't know what she would need and I"m not paying to mail a frickin' Cusineart food processor if it turns out she'll never use it or has one already.
So...now you're thinking..."Hey beotch, shut yer pie hole and just get her a gift card".
Riigghtt.
Canada is apparently too ghetto for online gift card shopping. So far the only stores I've found that have gift cards available for online purchase are The Bay, Sears, and Canadian Tire.
The Bay is alright...probably what I'll end up doing...but it's more of a "mom" kind of place to shop. It's like...Macy's I guess...so you COULD buy housewares there, but you wouldn't think to do that.
Sears...well in Canada it's not half as ghetto as it is in the US, but I think they bought out Eatons and both of them are bankrupt so I don't want to even risk that. Plus they only allow for specific denominations, none in the category that I want to spend (I suppose I could combine a few to make the dollar amount, but taht would be kinda tacky).
Canadian Tire...well that would be okay if they lived in a house right now but they don't...and I can't even remember what I ever went in there for. (No, they don't just sell tires. It's kinda like...OSH...mixed with automotive stuff).
HOme Depot...they don't even mention gift cards ANYWHERE on their site. They have suggestions for gifts...no gift cards. Do a search for "gift card"...and the search comes up with nothing. WTF.
Heck, I even checked out Walmart's Canadian site. No gift cards. Plus, if you want to do a search you have to search within each department, you can't search the entire site. That's effing annoying as dirt.
What I really wanted was either Best Buy or Williams Sonoma...ummm wtf. Williams Sonoma's canadian website is so useless, and you can't buy gift cards. Flippin' Best Buy's website lets you buy stuff online...but apparently gift cards can only be purchased in store. WTF! Is it THAT hard to ship?!!
Maybe there are laws about buying gift cards online, I don't know...but you'd think for any organization that is the #1 easiest thing to sell and ship online.
I have never been so flippin' annoyed in my life.
In the end, I'll probably ask Evan (dude!!! if you're reading this...) to pick up one for me, bring it with him next week, so that I can write up a nice wedding card and mail it back to Canada.
C'mon Canada...you whine that the US doesn't notice you, that you really are powerful deep down inside...uhhh, how about you learn some technological advances and ALLOW ONLINE GIFT CARD PURCHASES WTF!!!
FYI: No, I don't say "eh". I've said it like ONCE in my life.
FYI p2: KA TOE MAH TAY!! ha haaaa
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Geography of a woman
I got this as an email forward which i HATE email forwards, but this one is perfect...
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN:
>
>Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half
>discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with
>fertile soil.
>
>Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well
>developed and open to trade especially for someone
>with cash.
>
>Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot,
>relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
>
>Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently
>aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
>
>Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with
>a glorious and all conquering past.
>
>Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost
>the war and haunted by past mistakes.
>
>Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide
>and borders are now unpatrolled.
>
>After 70, she becomes Tibet: wildly beautiful, with a
>mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only
>those with an
>adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual
>knowledge visit there.
>
>
>GEOGRAPHY OF MEN:
>
>Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iraq - ruled by a
>dick.
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN:
>
>Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half
>discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with
>fertile soil.
>
>Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well
>developed and open to trade especially for someone
>with cash.
>
>Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot,
>relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
>
>Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently
>aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
>
>Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with
>a glorious and all conquering past.
>
>Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost
>the war and haunted by past mistakes.
>
>Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide
>and borders are now unpatrolled.
>
>After 70, she becomes Tibet: wildly beautiful, with a
>mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only
>those with an
>adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual
>knowledge visit there.
>
>
>GEOGRAPHY OF MEN:
>
>Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iraq - ruled by a
>dick.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
She's a maneater
The song of the moment is Nelly Furtado's Maneater...effing AWESOME song...
Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what chu here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!
[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!
[Verse 2]
And when she walks she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something boy she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because, she said she love you, love you long time!
[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!
[Chants]
[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!
Never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what chu here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!
[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!
[Verse 2]
And when she walks she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something boy she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because, she said she love you, love you long time!
[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!
[Chants]
[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!
Never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
Moral Compass
So I had a friend in town (who's name i'll keep hidden to protect the innocent, although i'm sure at on of people can figure it out), she's the most gorgeous yet smartest person I've ever known...she's getting her PhD in something I probably can't even pronounce...
Anyway so we were talking and she mentioned two key words: MORAL COMPASS.
There's always a boy, or a situation, or something, that makes it so that we are no longer the decent human beings that we normally are. Okay, well, I admit I'm not a decent human being but I'm not going around stabbing people so it's all relative, right?. It's because of that person, or that item, that we lack a MORAL COMPASS.
Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Everyone's either had, or still has, something or someone that causes them to do things they should NOT be doing but their radar is way off course.
So then the question is...is it that this person/thing has some sort of "energy" that throws your moral compass out the window? Or is it that there's no moral compass in existance at all in the first place when it comes to that person/thing?
Anyway, I just thought that was the perfect terminology to explain why otherwise decent human beings do things they absolutely should NOT be doing if they had any sense of morals or values whatsoever.
Tony: yeah 24HF blows goats. Sadly, there's no Gold's or Bally's near me.
Anyway so we were talking and she mentioned two key words: MORAL COMPASS.
There's always a boy, or a situation, or something, that makes it so that we are no longer the decent human beings that we normally are. Okay, well, I admit I'm not a decent human being but I'm not going around stabbing people so it's all relative, right?. It's because of that person, or that item, that we lack a MORAL COMPASS.
Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Everyone's either had, or still has, something or someone that causes them to do things they should NOT be doing but their radar is way off course.
So then the question is...is it that this person/thing has some sort of "energy" that throws your moral compass out the window? Or is it that there's no moral compass in existance at all in the first place when it comes to that person/thing?
Anyway, I just thought that was the perfect terminology to explain why otherwise decent human beings do things they absolutely should NOT be doing if they had any sense of morals or values whatsoever.
Tony: yeah 24HF blows goats. Sadly, there's no Gold's or Bally's near me.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
End of Slim Shady
I've known some shady, shady people in my life...the number one is the boyfriend I had during university...but I realized that I'm pretty bad myself, especially in terms of scam-a-bilities.
I figured that for the scams that I've pulled (and none are too huge, it's more like the frequency is much too much), karma was on my side 'cause I balance it out. I used to volunteer...and I'm always adopting sick cats...I donate to charity...heck, I even bought Nick Lachey's CD just to help him out with his legal battles against Jessica, and I do end up donating money every time those stupid charity organizations send me mailing labels.
Karma, in theory, should have been balanced out.
Well one of the aforementioned scams was 24HF...sigh...today I went in to get a LEGIT membership. Okay well technically my membership is an add-on to Kraig's, and his isn't really that legit...but that's HIS karma, not mine.
And because I like to be a glutton for punishment, I agreed to forego (sp?) the monthly rate of $20...and pre-pay the $20 for 3 years so that i can get 5 free training sessions (which i don't really care for or need) BUT...drum roll...it'll be $49 every YEAR for the rest of my life thereafter. That's a pretty sweet mother effing deal, considering that I've paid plenty for my gym memberships the past 10 years (okay well that shady ex-boyfriend paid for mine once, but that was $850/yr and i wasn't gonna pay that crap when he's the one who wanted me to go to that gym)...and that's for the all-gym, all-super-sports package...
So now i just tacked on a HUGE charge onto my credit card all in the name of being legit...
Karma, you owe me BIG TIME.
On a side note, I told the dude he better toss in a free towel (along with that box of stupid energy bars) so that I could feel like i REALLY got a good deal. He looked at me like I was the most retarded person he's ever met...but I got my towel. I also got him to write down his cell phone number so that if 3 years from now 24HF tries to eff me over on my 49/year, i'm going to hunt him down like a DOG.
Karma, if you fail me now...i'm going to punch you in the face.
KAH TOE MA TAYYY!!
I figured that for the scams that I've pulled (and none are too huge, it's more like the frequency is much too much), karma was on my side 'cause I balance it out. I used to volunteer...and I'm always adopting sick cats...I donate to charity...heck, I even bought Nick Lachey's CD just to help him out with his legal battles against Jessica, and I do end up donating money every time those stupid charity organizations send me mailing labels.
Karma, in theory, should have been balanced out.
Well one of the aforementioned scams was 24HF...sigh...today I went in to get a LEGIT membership. Okay well technically my membership is an add-on to Kraig's, and his isn't really that legit...but that's HIS karma, not mine.
And because I like to be a glutton for punishment, I agreed to forego (sp?) the monthly rate of $20...and pre-pay the $20 for 3 years so that i can get 5 free training sessions (which i don't really care for or need) BUT...drum roll...it'll be $49 every YEAR for the rest of my life thereafter. That's a pretty sweet mother effing deal, considering that I've paid plenty for my gym memberships the past 10 years (okay well that shady ex-boyfriend paid for mine once, but that was $850/yr and i wasn't gonna pay that crap when he's the one who wanted me to go to that gym)...and that's for the all-gym, all-super-sports package...
So now i just tacked on a HUGE charge onto my credit card all in the name of being legit...
Karma, you owe me BIG TIME.
On a side note, I told the dude he better toss in a free towel (along with that box of stupid energy bars) so that I could feel like i REALLY got a good deal. He looked at me like I was the most retarded person he's ever met...but I got my towel. I also got him to write down his cell phone number so that if 3 years from now 24HF tries to eff me over on my 49/year, i'm going to hunt him down like a DOG.
Karma, if you fail me now...i'm going to punch you in the face.
KAH TOE MA TAYYY!!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
My big fat obnoxious fluffer
Yeah I haven't written in awhile.
Suck it.
Letter to the editor: of COURSE i saw Sin City (helps when your husband is a comic book fanatic, i have to see all those graphic novels)...she looked phenomenal. That girl has the perfect body. Bitch.
I've got a bunch of links to pics that I gotta post...ummm when i actually upload them.
Bought a Netgear RangeMax Wireless Router, which has the most retarded setup. Having been a technical writer, I really try to follow the steps listed 'cause dammit, some shmuck took the time to write that. Well their setup is SO bizarre. Their wizard was useless. Finally I'm like "eff this sh*t, i write wireless about wireless devices for a living i'm doing the advanced user setup...so I plugged everything in and went logged directly into the unit...omg it took two seconds to set up. The wizard had me pulling my hair out for 30 mins. (Side note: people at Netgear, you probably want a confirmation window when you click "submit"...the only way I knew that it was actually working was when the laptop next to me listed it as an available network...but not everyone will have that).
In other news...
I can't believe Evan's gonna be here in TWO WEEKS....which also means i get a WEEK OFF WORK....sweeeeet! My only thing is that I know where to take chicks around OC when they visit...but a dude? That might be trickier.
Myrtle the Lemon Tree had an "accident"....she had fallen over and she couldn't get up...life alert! Amazingly, she actually has a semi-yellow lemon on her (boring to most except for those that have been to my house and know that you don't get between me and Myrtle...)...
So a year ago someone pointed out to me that I was picking out the pretzels in my bag of Chex Mix, and I suddenly got super upset because pretzels in chex mix are nothing more than fillers. It's like the potatoes in a can of vegetable soup. it's cheap, and it bulks it up. I won't stand for it! So i went throuhg like 10 bags of chex mix and picked out all the pretzels and stored them, and FINALLY...a year later...I'm vowing to write up my report and send it to the Chex Mix Folks.
Its an abomination to the snack world, and I won't tolerate it any longer.
In other news, if ONE more person asks me if i'm pregnant, i'm going to smack them. I haven't gone to the gym in like a month. My thighs are fat as hell. Get over it already!
On a similar topic, gasp I'm finally going to pay for my gym membership for the first time in 3 years...after an "incident" awhile ago I had to stop going....but then Kraig got a membership and it's only $20 to add me on, and as much as I hate 24HF i do like that they're open 24 hours a day (well, the Sport ones) and at least now I can stop living in paranoia that the 24HF Nazis are going to come after me.
AND...speaking of...wtf why are they so nazi-ish? I mean, geezus it's not a frickin' CAREER...i have serious issues when like teenagers at Albertsons or whatever act like it's effing rocket science. Listen, i'm telling you, those lemons are 2 for a dollar. You don't need to call the entire planet inthe store to verify, i know you can type that in and override it, wtf...None of us as teenagers gave a crap to waste everyon'es time over dumb stuff like that, liek pick your battles...geez.
On to TV news...
I haven't been watching JACK...i'm even the idiot who missed the Britney interview (I know...i know...I missed that interview!)...caught a bit of Hell's Kitchen which is nowhere near as good as last season's...the novelty has worn off. At one point I was hoping a cook, when getting yelled at by the Chef, would just toss her own plate on the ground...now THAT would have been great...
Damn I need to start writing for reality tv.
And finally...
That's my new quote for the summer!
Suck it.
Letter to the editor: of COURSE i saw Sin City (helps when your husband is a comic book fanatic, i have to see all those graphic novels)...she looked phenomenal. That girl has the perfect body. Bitch.
I've got a bunch of links to pics that I gotta post...ummm when i actually upload them.
Bought a Netgear RangeMax Wireless Router, which has the most retarded setup. Having been a technical writer, I really try to follow the steps listed 'cause dammit, some shmuck took the time to write that. Well their setup is SO bizarre. Their wizard was useless. Finally I'm like "eff this sh*t, i write wireless about wireless devices for a living i'm doing the advanced user setup...so I plugged everything in and went logged directly into the unit...omg it took two seconds to set up. The wizard had me pulling my hair out for 30 mins. (Side note: people at Netgear, you probably want a confirmation window when you click "submit"...the only way I knew that it was actually working was when the laptop next to me listed it as an available network...but not everyone will have that).
In other news...
I can't believe Evan's gonna be here in TWO WEEKS....which also means i get a WEEK OFF WORK....sweeeeet! My only thing is that I know where to take chicks around OC when they visit...but a dude? That might be trickier.
Myrtle the Lemon Tree had an "accident"....she had fallen over and she couldn't get up...life alert! Amazingly, she actually has a semi-yellow lemon on her (boring to most except for those that have been to my house and know that you don't get between me and Myrtle...)...
So a year ago someone pointed out to me that I was picking out the pretzels in my bag of Chex Mix, and I suddenly got super upset because pretzels in chex mix are nothing more than fillers. It's like the potatoes in a can of vegetable soup. it's cheap, and it bulks it up. I won't stand for it! So i went throuhg like 10 bags of chex mix and picked out all the pretzels and stored them, and FINALLY...a year later...I'm vowing to write up my report and send it to the Chex Mix Folks.
Its an abomination to the snack world, and I won't tolerate it any longer.
In other news, if ONE more person asks me if i'm pregnant, i'm going to smack them. I haven't gone to the gym in like a month. My thighs are fat as hell. Get over it already!
On a similar topic, gasp I'm finally going to pay for my gym membership for the first time in 3 years...after an "incident" awhile ago I had to stop going....but then Kraig got a membership and it's only $20 to add me on, and as much as I hate 24HF i do like that they're open 24 hours a day (well, the Sport ones) and at least now I can stop living in paranoia that the 24HF Nazis are going to come after me.
AND...speaking of...wtf why are they so nazi-ish? I mean, geezus it's not a frickin' CAREER...i have serious issues when like teenagers at Albertsons or whatever act like it's effing rocket science. Listen, i'm telling you, those lemons are 2 for a dollar. You don't need to call the entire planet inthe store to verify, i know you can type that in and override it, wtf...None of us as teenagers gave a crap to waste everyon'es time over dumb stuff like that, liek pick your battles...geez.
On to TV news...
I haven't been watching JACK...i'm even the idiot who missed the Britney interview (I know...i know...I missed that interview!)...caught a bit of Hell's Kitchen which is nowhere near as good as last season's...the novelty has worn off. At one point I was hoping a cook, when getting yelled at by the Chef, would just toss her own plate on the ground...now THAT would have been great...
Damn I need to start writing for reality tv.
And finally...
Kah-toe-mah-taay
That's my new quote for the summer!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Entertainment wrap up
Movie Review: The Breakup
((shrug))
there's not much to say about it. It had it's moments. My standards were so low, unless it was a movie about paint drying you really couldn't go wrong. Vince Vaughn TOTALLY reminded me of one of my ex boyfriends in the entire movie.
Letter to the editor:
Dane Cook has been around for a while - he's an amazing standup comedian! Don't hate because you're behind the times! :)
Now them's fighting words :P Anyone who knows me knows that I know my entertainment sheeat. Of course he's been AROUND...but it's alot like when Gwyneth Paltrow started dating Brad...sure, she'd been in stuff before...but people only knew who she was after she started dating Brad. George Clooney had been around long before ER, but no one knew who he was. So...for Dane Cook...i highly doubt he would be anywhere NEAR as popular now as he is as thanks to Jessica.
MTV Movie Awards: you know...i adore Jessica Alba...but dang, that girl is JUST NOT FUNNY. There are pretty girls who are funny...think Jenny Macarthy...ummm yeah Jessica, you're just...not. that being said, I loved the skit with Jimmy Fallon...but that's also 'cause i love Jimmy....and wtf is wrong with the audience not getting the Google humor....
((shrug))
there's not much to say about it. It had it's moments. My standards were so low, unless it was a movie about paint drying you really couldn't go wrong. Vince Vaughn TOTALLY reminded me of one of my ex boyfriends in the entire movie.
Letter to the editor:
Dane Cook has been around for a while - he's an amazing standup comedian! Don't hate because you're behind the times! :)
Now them's fighting words :P Anyone who knows me knows that I know my entertainment sheeat. Of course he's been AROUND...but it's alot like when Gwyneth Paltrow started dating Brad...sure, she'd been in stuff before...but people only knew who she was after she started dating Brad. George Clooney had been around long before ER, but no one knew who he was. So...for Dane Cook...i highly doubt he would be anywhere NEAR as popular now as he is as thanks to Jessica.
MTV Movie Awards: you know...i adore Jessica Alba...but dang, that girl is JUST NOT FUNNY. There are pretty girls who are funny...think Jenny Macarthy...ummm yeah Jessica, you're just...not. that being said, I loved the skit with Jimmy Fallon...but that's also 'cause i love Jimmy....and wtf is wrong with the audience not getting the Google humor....
Monday, June 05, 2006
MTV Movie Awards
I had no idea they only gave out like a dozen awards. I guess that's why it's WAY more interesting than the Oscars.
A complete list of 2006 MTV Movie Awards winners:
Best movie: "Wedding Crashers"
Performance: Jake Gyllenhaal, "Brokeback Mountain."
Comedic performance: Steve Carell, "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."
On-screen team: Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, "The Wedding Crashers."
Villain: Hayden Christensen, "Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith."
Breakthrough performance: Isla Fisher, "Wedding Crashers."
Hero: Christian Bale, "Batman Begins."
Sexiest performance: Jessica Alba, "Sin City."
Fight: Angelina Jolie vs. Brad Pitt, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."
Kiss: Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain."
Frightened performance: Jennifer Carpenter, "The Exorcism of Emily Rose."
mtvU filmmaker award: Joshua Caldwell, "A Beautiful Lie."
Silver Bucket of Excellence: Spike Lee, "Do the Right Thing."
MTV Generation Award: Jim Carrey.
I don't see why it's the 2006 awards...isn't Sin City from like, 1998?!! It was a lifetime ago.
And I'm officially sick of the following celebrities:
- Dane Cook. WTF!! Talk about boning a celebrity in order to become a celebrity. Does anyone know anything he's done Pre-May-2006? Wait, you don't know who he is? Exactly.
- Kate Bosworth. ARGH. She's not talented or pretty enough to be anything, she's popular for the same reason that Dane Cook probably will BE popular. Yeah she boned that girly-man otherwise known as Orlando Bloom.
- Justin Timberlake. I mean, i actually dug his CD. He's got some level of talent, and he was frickin' hilarious on SNL. But suddenly he's back in the spotlight because he's done with all his movies and i'm sorry, but the preppy-I-wear-fedoras-'cause-i'm-slick-like-that isn't working for him anymore.
- Famke Janssen. Okay not that she's some MASSIVE star, but I just really REALLY hate that she plays Jean Grey. Horrible, horrible choice. Heck, Jean Grey herself is the most useless character, but getting a useless actress to play her is worse.
- Jamie Foxx. OMG THIS GUY PISSES ME OFF. I can't even tell you on how many levels seeing this guy's name in print bugs me. It's like his ego is too big for this planet.
You know who we need to see more of? Amanda Bynes and Anna Faris. The former is just so funny and cute...and the latter has totally paid her dues making fun of herself in movies.
A complete list of 2006 MTV Movie Awards winners:
Best movie: "Wedding Crashers"
Performance: Jake Gyllenhaal, "Brokeback Mountain."
Comedic performance: Steve Carell, "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."
On-screen team: Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, "The Wedding Crashers."
Villain: Hayden Christensen, "Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith."
Breakthrough performance: Isla Fisher, "Wedding Crashers."
Hero: Christian Bale, "Batman Begins."
Sexiest performance: Jessica Alba, "Sin City."
Fight: Angelina Jolie vs. Brad Pitt, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."
Kiss: Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain."
Frightened performance: Jennifer Carpenter, "The Exorcism of Emily Rose."
mtvU filmmaker award: Joshua Caldwell, "A Beautiful Lie."
Silver Bucket of Excellence: Spike Lee, "Do the Right Thing."
MTV Generation Award: Jim Carrey.
I don't see why it's the 2006 awards...isn't Sin City from like, 1998?!! It was a lifetime ago.
And I'm officially sick of the following celebrities:
- Dane Cook. WTF!! Talk about boning a celebrity in order to become a celebrity. Does anyone know anything he's done Pre-May-2006? Wait, you don't know who he is? Exactly.
- Kate Bosworth. ARGH. She's not talented or pretty enough to be anything, she's popular for the same reason that Dane Cook probably will BE popular. Yeah she boned that girly-man otherwise known as Orlando Bloom.
- Justin Timberlake. I mean, i actually dug his CD. He's got some level of talent, and he was frickin' hilarious on SNL. But suddenly he's back in the spotlight because he's done with all his movies and i'm sorry, but the preppy-I-wear-fedoras-'cause-i'm-slick-like-that isn't working for him anymore.
- Famke Janssen. Okay not that she's some MASSIVE star, but I just really REALLY hate that she plays Jean Grey. Horrible, horrible choice. Heck, Jean Grey herself is the most useless character, but getting a useless actress to play her is worse.
- Jamie Foxx. OMG THIS GUY PISSES ME OFF. I can't even tell you on how many levels seeing this guy's name in print bugs me. It's like his ego is too big for this planet.
You know who we need to see more of? Amanda Bynes and Anna Faris. The former is just so funny and cute...and the latter has totally paid her dues making fun of herself in movies.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
LOST....important if you watch the show
Important Lost Link
Yeah
you read it right
Everyone needs to bathe in the glory that is Sawyer. That man is just to die for.
Yeah
you read it right
Everyone needs to bathe in the glory that is Sawyer. That man is just to die for.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Brain Food
So these days I'm over the Bridget-Jones type books...I'm taking more to male-perspective writing...
I'm almost finished with Company by Max Barry, which is really funny and has a pretty good grasp on political BS that happens at companies.
After that I'm going to start What's Not to Love? : The Adventures of a Mildly Perverted Young Writer by Jon Ames, which is apparently like a male version of SATC.
THEN it's back to some chick non-fiction with Skinny Bitching ...i started it already and it's pretty funny...now that I"m getting to 30 this stuff is on my mind!
And finally....my beloved Janice Dickinson: Check Please!...her other books were to die for hilarious....I can't wait to read this one.
I'm almost finished with Company by Max Barry, which is really funny and has a pretty good grasp on political BS that happens at companies.
After that I'm going to start What's Not to Love? : The Adventures of a Mildly Perverted Young Writer by Jon Ames, which is apparently like a male version of SATC.
THEN it's back to some chick non-fiction with Skinny Bitching ...i started it already and it's pretty funny...now that I"m getting to 30 this stuff is on my mind!
And finally....my beloved Janice Dickinson: Check Please!...her other books were to die for hilarious....I can't wait to read this one.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
you are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like daylight savings time
Just a few things...
Silicon Valley Fight Club
There is also a sadomasochistic thread running through underground fight clubs, said Michael Kimmel, a sociology professor at Stony Brook University in New York.
"Real-life fight clubs are the male version of the girls who cut themselves," he said. "All day long these guys think they're the captains of the universe, technical wizards. They're brilliant but empty.
Uhhh first off, there are guys who cut too, so that's a pretty ignorant statement to make. Secondly...chicks who cut have serious psychological issues and cutting takes the pain away by transferring. Geezus people.
Baby with 3 arms
That is so f*cked up I can't begin to explain. Personally, I think it would be kinda cool to have 3 arms....2 arms for typing, 1 arm for the mouse...you'd be so much more productive! And imagine driving while talking on your cell phone or eating.
My addiction to Food Network has me on a new New Year's resolution (midyear resolution?)...if I"m gonna "protect" a tv show, I gotta make at least one of it's recipes a week. Tonight I'm gonna make Moroccan Spiced Chickpea Soup ...mmm mmm good.
A'ight, time to get my brain to start working. If only I could figure out a way to sleep with my eyes open.
Silicon Valley Fight Club
There is also a sadomasochistic thread running through underground fight clubs, said Michael Kimmel, a sociology professor at Stony Brook University in New York.
"Real-life fight clubs are the male version of the girls who cut themselves," he said. "All day long these guys think they're the captains of the universe, technical wizards. They're brilliant but empty.
Uhhh first off, there are guys who cut too, so that's a pretty ignorant statement to make. Secondly...chicks who cut have serious psychological issues and cutting takes the pain away by transferring. Geezus people.
Baby with 3 arms
That is so f*cked up I can't begin to explain. Personally, I think it would be kinda cool to have 3 arms....2 arms for typing, 1 arm for the mouse...you'd be so much more productive! And imagine driving while talking on your cell phone or eating.
My addiction to Food Network has me on a new New Year's resolution (midyear resolution?)...if I"m gonna "protect" a tv show, I gotta make at least one of it's recipes a week. Tonight I'm gonna make Moroccan Spiced Chickpea Soup ...mmm mmm good.
A'ight, time to get my brain to start working. If only I could figure out a way to sleep with my eyes open.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
One who uses programming skills to gain illegal access to a computer network or file.
It's one thing to hack into
the DMV...
Social Security administration
a bank
a credit card company
or your ex girlfriend's new boyfriend's computer...
But hacking into Us Weekly? Now that's going TOO FAR!! TOO FAR PEOPLE!!
the DMV...
Social Security administration
a bank
a credit card company
or your ex girlfriend's new boyfriend's computer...
But hacking into Us Weekly? Now that's going TOO FAR!! TOO FAR PEOPLE!!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
I only had 108 minutes to bury him
Okay so blogging requires work and I've been SUCH a zombie lately. My brother was in town last weekend and after he left, I've spent Sunday, Monday, Tues, Wed evenings SLEEPING.
Last night was the worst...i took a nap but made sure I was awake for Lost at 9...i mean, there's no effing WAY i was not going to watch it last night. Well i'm into it by 10 minutes, a commercial break comes on, I hit "pause" to close my eyes...and next thing I know it's 11pm. So then I had to force myself awake enough to watch the frickin' episode...I have NO idea why i'm passed out by 8pm, but it's not a good thing. I'm like a frickin' senior citizen.
Speaking of Lost, let's get through a few things:
1. I didn't catch that the dude who was chillin' with Desmond was the same guy who turned Sayed into a torturer in the military.
2. I also didn't catch that Penny's father is linked to the Dharma Initiative. That makes ALOT more sense regardint the ending.
3. Call me crazy, but if I were Claire I would have kept my baby in the hatch...i mean, why sleep outside in the cold with the bugs and all that? I'm sure there's even baby formula in that hatch...there was everything else.
4. Good lord this was ONE episode where Hurley wasn't downing Ranch Dressing.
5. I dig that within 5 minutes Sawyer's shirt came off. I LOVE SAWYER. And I'll officially be the biggest geek for buying the Lost McFarlane dolls. Don't know McFarlane? Good. It means you've never been to a comic book convention. And you don't know who Spawn is.
6. Kate bugs the sh*t out of me. She's supposed to be all though, but she can't shoot worth ((bleep)) and she's the one who effed everything up way back when the guys wanted to get Michael back but she tailed them.
7. The reason for the 108 minute button makes sense to me. I was worried it was going to be retarded, like the scary "monster" being nothing more than black smoke. But it's do-able, explains the plane crash...and best of all, made it so that Desmond's hatchmate only had 108 minutes to bury HIS hatchmate.
8. Is it just me or did Locke only break the monitor...you can still type inthe numbers...it wasn't some old skool type where the keyboard/monitor/harddrive are all one piece. It was more of a tv-monitor type circa our Atari years...
9. I'm sad Lost is over. BUT...this means that 4400 is starting up again! BOOYAH! 4400 is my pulse for the summer.
10. Michael didn't "betray" his friends...I would sacrifice anyone too in order to get my kid back. Although i would have wanted to get my dog, but whatever...crap happens.
Check it: Hurley's make believe friend (aka Harry Goldenblatt from SATC) was David...which Libby said was her husband's name.
As for last weekend with my brother...we went to a driving range and now i'm totally inspired to buy a driver so that I can vent out stress after work and can hold my own when going to play golf. I'm kinda excited.
In other news, I also signed up for a Wine 101 class...because I'm not grown up enough to understand wine but it's about frickin' time.
Okay I guess that's it for now...otherwise i'll start babbling about random crap...like how i made Paula Deen's zucchini bread last night (got a TON of zucchini for cheap from the OC flea market) 'cause I adore her tv show and it looked SO good when she made it, but the recipe was so-so (okay granted I also swapped things out to make it sugar free and fat free but i think it barely used enough zucchini....)....
...or I can babble about how this weekend is MASSIVE PROJECT time...'cause i have to clear out the spare bedroom for Evan to use when he comes visit, and I convinced Kraig to buy some shelves from Target for the garage...
...or I can get all depressed on how something isn't right with Marmalade, and she's going to the vet on Saturday, and i'm really scared becuase something is wrong with her and she's not being herself at all lately.
Blegh.
Last night was the worst...i took a nap but made sure I was awake for Lost at 9...i mean, there's no effing WAY i was not going to watch it last night. Well i'm into it by 10 minutes, a commercial break comes on, I hit "pause" to close my eyes...and next thing I know it's 11pm. So then I had to force myself awake enough to watch the frickin' episode...I have NO idea why i'm passed out by 8pm, but it's not a good thing. I'm like a frickin' senior citizen.
Speaking of Lost, let's get through a few things:
1. I didn't catch that the dude who was chillin' with Desmond was the same guy who turned Sayed into a torturer in the military.
2. I also didn't catch that Penny's father is linked to the Dharma Initiative. That makes ALOT more sense regardint the ending.
3. Call me crazy, but if I were Claire I would have kept my baby in the hatch...i mean, why sleep outside in the cold with the bugs and all that? I'm sure there's even baby formula in that hatch...there was everything else.
4. Good lord this was ONE episode where Hurley wasn't downing Ranch Dressing.
5. I dig that within 5 minutes Sawyer's shirt came off. I LOVE SAWYER. And I'll officially be the biggest geek for buying the Lost McFarlane dolls. Don't know McFarlane? Good. It means you've never been to a comic book convention. And you don't know who Spawn is.
6. Kate bugs the sh*t out of me. She's supposed to be all though, but she can't shoot worth ((bleep)) and she's the one who effed everything up way back when the guys wanted to get Michael back but she tailed them.
7. The reason for the 108 minute button makes sense to me. I was worried it was going to be retarded, like the scary "monster" being nothing more than black smoke. But it's do-able, explains the plane crash...and best of all, made it so that Desmond's hatchmate only had 108 minutes to bury HIS hatchmate.
8. Is it just me or did Locke only break the monitor...you can still type inthe numbers...it wasn't some old skool type where the keyboard/monitor/harddrive are all one piece. It was more of a tv-monitor type circa our Atari years...
9. I'm sad Lost is over. BUT...this means that 4400 is starting up again! BOOYAH! 4400 is my pulse for the summer.
10. Michael didn't "betray" his friends...I would sacrifice anyone too in order to get my kid back. Although i would have wanted to get my dog, but whatever...crap happens.
Check it: Hurley's make believe friend (aka Harry Goldenblatt from SATC) was David...which Libby said was her husband's name.
As for last weekend with my brother...we went to a driving range and now i'm totally inspired to buy a driver so that I can vent out stress after work and can hold my own when going to play golf. I'm kinda excited.
In other news, I also signed up for a Wine 101 class...because I'm not grown up enough to understand wine but it's about frickin' time.
Okay I guess that's it for now...otherwise i'll start babbling about random crap...like how i made Paula Deen's zucchini bread last night (got a TON of zucchini for cheap from the OC flea market) 'cause I adore her tv show and it looked SO good when she made it, but the recipe was so-so (okay granted I also swapped things out to make it sugar free and fat free but i think it barely used enough zucchini....)....
...or I can babble about how this weekend is MASSIVE PROJECT time...'cause i have to clear out the spare bedroom for Evan to use when he comes visit, and I convinced Kraig to buy some shelves from Target for the garage...
...or I can get all depressed on how something isn't right with Marmalade, and she's going to the vet on Saturday, and i'm really scared becuase something is wrong with her and she's not being herself at all lately.
Blegh.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
4am, and I can't sleep
HONOLULU - A daughter of reality TV star Duane "Dog" Chapman was killed in a car accident late Friday, a day before her father's wedding, a spokesman said.
Barbara Katy Chapman, 23, died near her home of Fairbanks, Alaska, said Michael Feeney, senior vice president of A&E television network.
Duane Chapman's Saturday wedding on the Big Island went forward as planned after the family consulted with a preacher and agreed to celebrate her life at the ceremony, Feeney told The Associated Press.
The star of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" married his longtime sidekick, Beth Smith, after being together for 16 years. The wedding is scheduled to be featured in an Aug. 14 episode of the show about Chapman and his tattooed crew of fugitive finders.
Barbara Chapman had not been expected to attend the wedding, and the circumstances of the accident were unclear, Feeney said.
She was one of 12 of the bounty hunter's children. She is survived by her mother, Lyssa Greene, and her 4-year-old son, Travis Drake-Lee Chapman.
I get that this is sad and all....but am I the only one that was like "WTF!" at the TWELVE CHILDREN part?!!! Someone's not shooting blanks...
Barbara Katy Chapman, 23, died near her home of Fairbanks, Alaska, said Michael Feeney, senior vice president of A&E television network.
Duane Chapman's Saturday wedding on the Big Island went forward as planned after the family consulted with a preacher and agreed to celebrate her life at the ceremony, Feeney told The Associated Press.
The star of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" married his longtime sidekick, Beth Smith, after being together for 16 years. The wedding is scheduled to be featured in an Aug. 14 episode of the show about Chapman and his tattooed crew of fugitive finders.
Barbara Chapman had not been expected to attend the wedding, and the circumstances of the accident were unclear, Feeney said.
She was one of 12 of the bounty hunter's children. She is survived by her mother, Lyssa Greene, and her 4-year-old son, Travis Drake-Lee Chapman.
I get that this is sad and all....but am I the only one that was like "WTF!" at the TWELVE CHILDREN part?!!! Someone's not shooting blanks...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Bone-ability
From Oh No They Didn't!
Which would YOU do?
LUKE VS. OWEN WILSON
One is a dark-haired stunner while the other is a quirky blond. Which Wilson brother would you bring home to Mom?
Luke is better looking but Owen is wayyyy sexier...i'd do Owen. Then afterwords he can play me a song and cartoon birds would fly around us. It'd be great.
RYAN SEACREST VS. SIMON COWELL
The American Idol host can charm, while the cranky judge keeps it real. Who gets your vote?
Egads, Ryan all the way. Ryan's got a fit body AND he's not gonna cross his arms and critique you after. Plus Simon looks lazy...i mean, all he does is sit in that chair. Ryan's gotta run around and get all interactive.
RICHIE SAMBORA VS. CHARLIE SHEEN
They're no strangers to complicated relationships: Which would you take a chance with – the Bon Jovi guitarist or the TV star?
Oh geezus Charlie all the way. Although I'm sure he's a complete loon...but he'd still be more fun.
KANYE WEST VS. PHARRELL WILLIAMS
Gold diggers need not apply: Which hip-hopper makes your heart beat faster?
This is a tough call. Neither is fabulously good looking...Pharrell's got a decent body i guess...but he looksl ike an alien...and he looks like he got an STD from one of Snoop's leftover women. Kanye it is. But it would still suck, 'cause he looks like the type where you have to keep telling him how fabulous his performance was. Eff that crap.
MICHAEL VARTAN VS. BRADLEY COOPER
The handsome Alias stars make pulses race. With whom would you share a secret mission?
Oh hands down, Michael Vartan. Never Been Kissed made all of us chicks fall for him. Plus Bradley always plays a jackass in movies. Michael's super good looking in that "I could marry that man and i'd have millions of his babies" kind of way.
MICK JAGGER VS. STEVEN TYLER
They may be grandfathers, but they still have that sexy swagger. Which rocker gives you more "Sweet Emotion"?
Gag me please. But between the two, i'm guessing Steven's got more STDs, so I'll stick with Mick. Oh but wait, Steven could sing the Wayne's World song after the boning. No forget it, his lips are too ginormous. Mick it is.
PARIS LATSIS VS. STAVROS NIARCHOS
Paris Hilton has said goodbye to both of them. Which Greek shipping heir would you sail away with?
Stavros baby! Paris is the male version of...well...the other Paris. And we all know how nasty she is.
ADRIAN GRENIER VS. JEREMY PIVEN
Which Entourage power player would you rather hug it out with in real life?
Adrian Grenier is so beautiful, it kills me. My confession: i've seen that STUPID Melissa Joan Hart movie "Drive me Crazy" a billion times 'cause he was in it. Damn that guy would make me melt. Forget who I would "do"...i could just stare at him for hours.
DAVID BLAINE VS. DAVID COPPERFIELD
Making magic is their mission. Which illusionist is your daredevil of choice?
Uh i'll take whichever one can magically turn themselves into...anyone but themself.
ANDY SAMBERG VS. CHRIS PARNELL
Which SNL comedian would you want to spend a "Lazy Sunday" with?
Andy 'cause he's younger, but REALLY...i'd much rather have Seth Meyer. And if we're taking SNL alumni, then Jimmy Fallon ALL the way. I LOVE JIMMY!
CLYDE PICKLER VS. MICHAEL LOHAN
Which jailbird dad piques your inner rebel: Kelly's (of American Idol) or teen queen Lindsay's?
Nastiness. Pure nastiness. I guess Clyde...'cause Michael Lohan would probably steal my stuff after he bones me and then write a tell-all book about me.
WENTWORTH MILLER VS. DOMINIC PURCELL
The Prison Break brothers share piercing eyes and chiseled features. Which actor would you want to escape with?
Wentworth...mmm mmm good. Although he looks a little TOO intense, you know? But he's definitely beautiful.
Ha ha I'm surprised there was no Brokeback Boys to compare...
In other news, props to Nicole B for finding the Strip-Aerobics class at 24HF. I'm sure I'd look like an elephant in a china store doing that stuff, but at least it'll give my thighs a badly-needed workout. Booyah.
Which would YOU do?
LUKE VS. OWEN WILSON
One is a dark-haired stunner while the other is a quirky blond. Which Wilson brother would you bring home to Mom?
Luke is better looking but Owen is wayyyy sexier...i'd do Owen. Then afterwords he can play me a song and cartoon birds would fly around us. It'd be great.
RYAN SEACREST VS. SIMON COWELL
The American Idol host can charm, while the cranky judge keeps it real. Who gets your vote?
Egads, Ryan all the way. Ryan's got a fit body AND he's not gonna cross his arms and critique you after. Plus Simon looks lazy...i mean, all he does is sit in that chair. Ryan's gotta run around and get all interactive.
RICHIE SAMBORA VS. CHARLIE SHEEN
They're no strangers to complicated relationships: Which would you take a chance with – the Bon Jovi guitarist or the TV star?
Oh geezus Charlie all the way. Although I'm sure he's a complete loon...but he'd still be more fun.
KANYE WEST VS. PHARRELL WILLIAMS
Gold diggers need not apply: Which hip-hopper makes your heart beat faster?
This is a tough call. Neither is fabulously good looking...Pharrell's got a decent body i guess...but he looksl ike an alien...and he looks like he got an STD from one of Snoop's leftover women. Kanye it is. But it would still suck, 'cause he looks like the type where you have to keep telling him how fabulous his performance was. Eff that crap.
MICHAEL VARTAN VS. BRADLEY COOPER
The handsome Alias stars make pulses race. With whom would you share a secret mission?
Oh hands down, Michael Vartan. Never Been Kissed made all of us chicks fall for him. Plus Bradley always plays a jackass in movies. Michael's super good looking in that "I could marry that man and i'd have millions of his babies" kind of way.
MICK JAGGER VS. STEVEN TYLER
They may be grandfathers, but they still have that sexy swagger. Which rocker gives you more "Sweet Emotion"?
Gag me please. But between the two, i'm guessing Steven's got more STDs, so I'll stick with Mick. Oh but wait, Steven could sing the Wayne's World song after the boning. No forget it, his lips are too ginormous. Mick it is.
PARIS LATSIS VS. STAVROS NIARCHOS
Paris Hilton has said goodbye to both of them. Which Greek shipping heir would you sail away with?
Stavros baby! Paris is the male version of...well...the other Paris. And we all know how nasty she is.
ADRIAN GRENIER VS. JEREMY PIVEN
Which Entourage power player would you rather hug it out with in real life?
Adrian Grenier is so beautiful, it kills me. My confession: i've seen that STUPID Melissa Joan Hart movie "Drive me Crazy" a billion times 'cause he was in it. Damn that guy would make me melt. Forget who I would "do"...i could just stare at him for hours.
DAVID BLAINE VS. DAVID COPPERFIELD
Making magic is their mission. Which illusionist is your daredevil of choice?
Uh i'll take whichever one can magically turn themselves into...anyone but themself.
ANDY SAMBERG VS. CHRIS PARNELL
Which SNL comedian would you want to spend a "Lazy Sunday" with?
Andy 'cause he's younger, but REALLY...i'd much rather have Seth Meyer. And if we're taking SNL alumni, then Jimmy Fallon ALL the way. I LOVE JIMMY!
CLYDE PICKLER VS. MICHAEL LOHAN
Which jailbird dad piques your inner rebel: Kelly's (of American Idol) or teen queen Lindsay's?
Nastiness. Pure nastiness. I guess Clyde...'cause Michael Lohan would probably steal my stuff after he bones me and then write a tell-all book about me.
WENTWORTH MILLER VS. DOMINIC PURCELL
The Prison Break brothers share piercing eyes and chiseled features. Which actor would you want to escape with?
Wentworth...mmm mmm good. Although he looks a little TOO intense, you know? But he's definitely beautiful.
Ha ha I'm surprised there was no Brokeback Boys to compare...
In other news, props to Nicole B for finding the Strip-Aerobics class at 24HF. I'm sure I'd look like an elephant in a china store doing that stuff, but at least it'll give my thighs a badly-needed workout. Booyah.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Letter to the editor
Man, you should have given my brother a call. You were right down the road from him.
Oh look dude, I'm FINALLY out of that meeting! Yeah 2.5 weeks...and those bastards didn't even cater lunch. Or provide catheters.
Probably would have helped if i had your brother's number. That being said, if I DID have his number, I would have used it as an excuse to skip out on the hike, tie him to a chair, and stare at that fine young man like the creepy perverted stalker old lady that I am.
Oh look dude, I'm FINALLY out of that meeting! Yeah 2.5 weeks...and those bastards didn't even cater lunch. Or provide catheters.
Probably would have helped if i had your brother's number. That being said, if I DID have his number, I would have used it as an excuse to skip out on the hike, tie him to a chair, and stare at that fine young man like the creepy perverted stalker old lady that I am.
Beef jerky sold here!
Drive it like you stole it and bone it like you own it
Yeahhhhh!
Happy anniversary to me and Kraig. Booyah. 3 years of marriage. Our waitress tonight was like "3 years, that's great, blah blah..." and then says "The first year was rough wasn't it"...
YES, YES IT WAS. And everyone I talk to says the first year is brutal. Except you can't TELL anyone it's brutal, because they think you're in newlywed bliss so you keep smiling through gritted teeth. Finally after one year people are like "yeah that year sucked didn't it?" and you suddenly realize that your life is different, get used to it. And it all gets SO much better.
Which is why I truly do think that living together is NOT the same as being married...the changes are all mental...and the realization that you've legally bound yourself to someone for LIFE makes people act (react!) in surprising ways.
Anyway, I got a beautiful card and seasons 5, 6, and 7 of the Simpsons on DVD. EXACTLY what I wanted. I can't wait to have a Simpsons marathon weekend...
In other news, in case anyone cares, my brother is coming to the OC this weekend. I haven't seen him in a year, which is pretty pathetic since he only lives a few hours away.
Family. Good times.
Yeahhhhh!
Happy anniversary to me and Kraig. Booyah. 3 years of marriage. Our waitress tonight was like "3 years, that's great, blah blah..." and then says "The first year was rough wasn't it"...
YES, YES IT WAS. And everyone I talk to says the first year is brutal. Except you can't TELL anyone it's brutal, because they think you're in newlywed bliss so you keep smiling through gritted teeth. Finally after one year people are like "yeah that year sucked didn't it?" and you suddenly realize that your life is different, get used to it. And it all gets SO much better.
Which is why I truly do think that living together is NOT the same as being married...the changes are all mental...and the realization that you've legally bound yourself to someone for LIFE makes people act (react!) in surprising ways.
Anyway, I got a beautiful card and seasons 5, 6, and 7 of the Simpsons on DVD. EXACTLY what I wanted. I can't wait to have a Simpsons marathon weekend...
In other news, in case anyone cares, my brother is coming to the OC this weekend. I haven't seen him in a year, which is pretty pathetic since he only lives a few hours away.
Family. Good times.
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