I'm officially the dumbest person alive.
I printed out the Citizenship stuff...asked Heather a legal question about whether getting a traffic ticket counted as being "cited by a law enforcement officer", went to the chiropractor and specifically thought "geez i hope no one breaks into my car and takes my paperwork", went home...
And i havent' seen the paperwork since. It was in a red folder. I've searched my car, I asked the chiropractor, i checked myd esk at work, i searched my house...how do you lose a red folder when you didnt DO anything with it?!
I wouldn't be so freaked out if stupid me hadn't put my SSN and Green Card number on the paperwork, along with my married name AND maiden name...why don't i just plaster a sign on me that says "Hi, i'd like to be robbed of my identity thanks!"....
Friday, October 27, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
With glowing hearts we see thee rise
So I'm finally getting off my ass to apply to be a US citizen.
Just finding the right frickin' form on the UCIS Web Site is a pain in the ass. But, in case anyone cares, it's N-400.
I forgot just how painful filling out immigration paperwork is. It's "beat me with yo mama's rolling pin" painful.
First off, here's my race options:
White
Asian
Black or African American
American Indian or Alaskan Native
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander
Ummm, where's my "other" box?! WTF.
Now check this out...the Hair Color options:
Black
Brown
Blonde yes with the E at the end which isn't WRONG but not very common
Gray
White
Red
Sandy
Bald (No Hair)
WTF is "sandy" if it's not blond? Do they mean Salt/Pepper? And if you're bald, don't you KNOW that means no hair?!
Your eye options...this is seriously awesome:
Brown
Blue
Green
Hazel
Gray
Black
Pink
Maroon
Other
Oh wait...i can't be "other" for race but there's another COLOR OPTION for your effing eyes available?! Have you ever seen someone with MAROON or PINK eyes?! Other...uhhh...is orange an option?! WTF!
And then there's Section 7...Time Outside The United States:
a) How many total days did you spend outside of the United States during the past 5 years?
WTF! If you're not a naturalized citizen, odds are, that number's pretty high! I've gone to Canada a few times and the Bahamas, wtf like i know the exact number.
b)List below all the trips of 24 hours or more you have taken outside of the United States since becoming a Lawful Permanent Resident
Fortunately, since I got my green card, I've only traveled once (last summer), but i couldn't tell you to save my soul the EXACT dates I was gone for...i guess if I scope out my American Airlines account i could find it...but if i had to list out all the trips from the past 5 years, i'd be screwed.
There's a TON of questions about my previous spouse...just as many as my current spouse. You get to list out how the "previous marriage" ended, either by Divorce, Spouse Died, or Other (how many other ways are there? Annulling it? And...?)...
In Section 10, it asks Do you have any title of nobility in any foreign country?
as well as
Have you ever been declared legally incompetent or been confined to a mental institution within the last five years?
and
Have you EVER been a member of or in any way association (either directly or indirectly) with
c. A Terrorist Organization?
And at least that last question narrows out the idiots too dumb to get citizenship....
12. Between March 23, 1933 and May 8, 1945, did you work for or associate in any way (either directly or indirectly) with
a. The Nazi government of Germany
.
.
c. Any German, Nazi, or S.S. military unit, paramilitary unit, self-defense unit, vigilante unit, citizen unit, police unit, government agency or office, extermination camp, concentration camp, prisoner of war camp, prison, labor camp or transit camp?
Mannnn...if you gotta say yes to any of that stuff, just rip up your application. WTF is a "vigilante unit"? Makes me think of dirty guys in western movies.
Then we get to the Good Moral Character section of the form (I kid you not), which is mostly about criminal history crap. But it also says:
22. Have you EVER:
a) been a habitual drunkard
(i'm sorry, i can't stop laughing...you had to define "bald" but "habitual drunkard" is THAT self explanatory?!)
b)Been a prostitute or procured anyone for prostitution?
....
d) Been married to more than one person at the same time?
Good times, good times...
And it gets better...Oath Requirements:
Answer questions 34 through 39. If you answer NO to any of these questions, attach 1) your written explanation why the answer was NO and 2) any additional information or documentation that helps explain your answer.
34. Do you support the Constitution and form of government in the United States?
35. Do you understand the Oath of Allegiance to the United States?
36. Are you willing to take the full Oath of Allegiance to the United States?
37. If the law requires it, are you willing to bear arms on behalf of the UNited States?
38. If the law requires it, are you willing to perform noncombatant services in the US Armed FOrces?
39. If the law requires it, are you willing to perform work of national importance under civilian direction?
Now I'm all for being a US Citizen...but geezus, i really would like to have a chat with the people who create these forms....
Just finding the right frickin' form on the UCIS Web Site is a pain in the ass. But, in case anyone cares, it's N-400.
I forgot just how painful filling out immigration paperwork is. It's "beat me with yo mama's rolling pin" painful.
First off, here's my race options:
White
Asian
Black or African American
American Indian or Alaskan Native
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander
Ummm, where's my "other" box?! WTF.
Now check this out...the Hair Color options:
Black
Brown
Blonde yes with the E at the end which isn't WRONG but not very common
Gray
White
Red
Sandy
Bald (No Hair)
WTF is "sandy" if it's not blond? Do they mean Salt/Pepper? And if you're bald, don't you KNOW that means no hair?!
Your eye options...this is seriously awesome:
Brown
Blue
Green
Hazel
Gray
Black
Pink
Maroon
Other
Oh wait...i can't be "other" for race but there's another COLOR OPTION for your effing eyes available?! Have you ever seen someone with MAROON or PINK eyes?! Other...uhhh...is orange an option?! WTF!
And then there's Section 7...Time Outside The United States:
a) How many total days did you spend outside of the United States during the past 5 years?
WTF! If you're not a naturalized citizen, odds are, that number's pretty high! I've gone to Canada a few times and the Bahamas, wtf like i know the exact number.
b)List below all the trips of 24 hours or more you have taken outside of the United States since becoming a Lawful Permanent Resident
Fortunately, since I got my green card, I've only traveled once (last summer), but i couldn't tell you to save my soul the EXACT dates I was gone for...i guess if I scope out my American Airlines account i could find it...but if i had to list out all the trips from the past 5 years, i'd be screwed.
There's a TON of questions about my previous spouse...just as many as my current spouse. You get to list out how the "previous marriage" ended, either by Divorce, Spouse Died, or Other (how many other ways are there? Annulling it? And...?)...
In Section 10, it asks Do you have any title of nobility in any foreign country?
as well as
Have you ever been declared legally incompetent or been confined to a mental institution within the last five years?
and
Have you EVER been a member of or in any way association (either directly or indirectly) with
c. A Terrorist Organization?
And at least that last question narrows out the idiots too dumb to get citizenship....
12. Between March 23, 1933 and May 8, 1945, did you work for or associate in any way (either directly or indirectly) with
a. The Nazi government of Germany
.
.
c. Any German, Nazi, or S.S. military unit, paramilitary unit, self-defense unit, vigilante unit, citizen unit, police unit, government agency or office, extermination camp, concentration camp, prisoner of war camp, prison, labor camp or transit camp?
Mannnn...if you gotta say yes to any of that stuff, just rip up your application. WTF is a "vigilante unit"? Makes me think of dirty guys in western movies.
Then we get to the Good Moral Character section of the form (I kid you not), which is mostly about criminal history crap. But it also says:
22. Have you EVER:
a) been a habitual drunkard
(i'm sorry, i can't stop laughing...you had to define "bald" but "habitual drunkard" is THAT self explanatory?!)
b)Been a prostitute or procured anyone for prostitution?
....
d) Been married to more than one person at the same time?
Good times, good times...
And it gets better...Oath Requirements:
Answer questions 34 through 39. If you answer NO to any of these questions, attach 1) your written explanation why the answer was NO and 2) any additional information or documentation that helps explain your answer.
34. Do you support the Constitution and form of government in the United States?
35. Do you understand the Oath of Allegiance to the United States?
36. Are you willing to take the full Oath of Allegiance to the United States?
37. If the law requires it, are you willing to bear arms on behalf of the UNited States?
38. If the law requires it, are you willing to perform noncombatant services in the US Armed FOrces?
39. If the law requires it, are you willing to perform work of national importance under civilian direction?
Now I'm all for being a US Citizen...but geezus, i really would like to have a chat with the people who create these forms....
Monday, October 23, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Marlene and Steve's Anniversary
Okay finally catching up to the pics I've had to upload and crap.
So a few weekends ago I did the shortest trip to san jose ever (well, second shortest...the shortest was on Xmas of last year, where we drove up on the 25th and i left at 6am on the 26th) to show up to Marlene and Steve's 10th Wedding Anniversary party...it was an absolute blast.
First off, i got to see my girls Jen and Marcella which are two people where time flies by when I'm hanging out with them:
They were such dolls for letting me stay with them...
Spent Friday shopping with Wendy (who is officially my HERO...the girl got some great knockoff designer stuff in NY...i was like "holy sh*t Wendy, how much do you make where you're buying two Balenciaga purses?!")...Friday night was the anniversary party, which we made a little more ghetto when Jen snuck in tequila in a water bottle...
No, we weren't lushes...we just wanted to make sure we were prepared in case the beverage situation wasn't ideal at the hall...Ahhh Wendy was my date for the evening but she got too drunk to put out, sad for me :P LOL.
Anyway, it was a fantastic time, it was great seeing everyone, and most of all congrats to Steve and Marlene for surviving 10 years of marriage!
Will post the link to the pics when my computer stops being so ghetto.
So a few weekends ago I did the shortest trip to san jose ever (well, second shortest...the shortest was on Xmas of last year, where we drove up on the 25th and i left at 6am on the 26th) to show up to Marlene and Steve's 10th Wedding Anniversary party...it was an absolute blast.
First off, i got to see my girls Jen and Marcella which are two people where time flies by when I'm hanging out with them:
They were such dolls for letting me stay with them...
Spent Friday shopping with Wendy (who is officially my HERO...the girl got some great knockoff designer stuff in NY...i was like "holy sh*t Wendy, how much do you make where you're buying two Balenciaga purses?!")...Friday night was the anniversary party, which we made a little more ghetto when Jen snuck in tequila in a water bottle...
No, we weren't lushes...we just wanted to make sure we were prepared in case the beverage situation wasn't ideal at the hall...Ahhh Wendy was my date for the evening but she got too drunk to put out, sad for me :P LOL.
Anyway, it was a fantastic time, it was great seeing everyone, and most of all congrats to Steve and Marlene for surviving 10 years of marriage!
Will post the link to the pics when my computer stops being so ghetto.
Hallowe'en wrap up
You are correct it is not sexy... it's slutty.
I say go with the slutty nurse costume.
Dang, it was a close tie between the nurse vs. the maid outfit...most chicks said nurse though...go figure.
Anyway, so yesterday was a bit chaotic...
I was at Nicole D's house by 5:30ish am, for our garage sale...needless to say, I was pretty exhausted by the time I left in the early afternoon. I grabbed Kraig and we went costume shopping...
Oh let me back up a bit...on Friday I had to swing to Target to get some masking tape for the garage sale, and I saw this super cute Wonder WOman costume so I bought it...riighhtt...was wayyy too big.
So by Saturday, after the garage sale, I just wanted ANYTHING that would fit and be done with it. In a quickie shopping spree Kraig and I bought somewhat matching prisoner costumes, although mine barely fit and I'm pretty sure I bruised some ribs trying to squeeze into it...let alone the size 5 ghetto boots I wore with it and now i'm sure i'm going to need bunion surgery or something..
J.L. Byrd
(you can't see in this pic, but I also had black wings on my back)
Poor Kraig had to watch the crappy progession of me getting more and more drunk (normally martinis keep me pretty sane, but Justin pretty much makes it a ratio of 99% liquor/1% mix so I ended up getting so plastered, I couldn't even wash my face or brush my teeth, i attempted to take the dress off but it was too much work so i just passed out on my bed and slept till 3pm the next day)...
Cute to be a lush when you're 19, not so attractive when you're 29. I'm too old for that crap.
Anyway Justin bought this effing HILARIOUS alien puppets, and hands down Tim/Christy's rendition of Lord Of The Rings meets Napolean Dynomite was the funniest thing I think i've seen in ages:
Gonna add the link to the full set of pictures when my slow-as-molasses-ghetto-computer finishes uploading them to shutterfly.
I say go with the slutty nurse costume.
Dang, it was a close tie between the nurse vs. the maid outfit...most chicks said nurse though...go figure.
Anyway, so yesterday was a bit chaotic...
I was at Nicole D's house by 5:30ish am, for our garage sale...needless to say, I was pretty exhausted by the time I left in the early afternoon. I grabbed Kraig and we went costume shopping...
Oh let me back up a bit...on Friday I had to swing to Target to get some masking tape for the garage sale, and I saw this super cute Wonder WOman costume so I bought it...riighhtt...was wayyy too big.
So by Saturday, after the garage sale, I just wanted ANYTHING that would fit and be done with it. In a quickie shopping spree Kraig and I bought somewhat matching prisoner costumes, although mine barely fit and I'm pretty sure I bruised some ribs trying to squeeze into it...let alone the size 5 ghetto boots I wore with it and now i'm sure i'm going to need bunion surgery or something..
J.L. Byrd
(you can't see in this pic, but I also had black wings on my back)
Poor Kraig had to watch the crappy progession of me getting more and more drunk (normally martinis keep me pretty sane, but Justin pretty much makes it a ratio of 99% liquor/1% mix so I ended up getting so plastered, I couldn't even wash my face or brush my teeth, i attempted to take the dress off but it was too much work so i just passed out on my bed and slept till 3pm the next day)...
Cute to be a lush when you're 19, not so attractive when you're 29. I'm too old for that crap.
Anyway Justin bought this effing HILARIOUS alien puppets, and hands down Tim/Christy's rendition of Lord Of The Rings meets Napolean Dynomite was the funniest thing I think i've seen in ages:
Gonna add the link to the full set of pictures when my slow-as-molasses-ghetto-computer finishes uploading them to shutterfly.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Real World - Denver
the cast
Now, I realize I'm the oldest person who still watches this show but to my defense, growing up in Canada, I used to read about Real World ALL the time in magazines and wonder wtf was up with this show...so when I moved to California I got hooked, season after season.
But...even in just 6 years I've seen them go from somewhat "normal" people to typical Made-For-TV-Faces...i fully expect my hollywood actors to be gorgeous, but REAL WORLD...hello I'm not looking for models. I'm looking for the crack addict who sleeps with the uber conservative roommate's boyfriend.
Will I watch it? Of course. Last season did surprise me with Paula Walnuts turning out to be a complete looney toon. I'm just saying, I miss the days of crazy Ruthie risking life and limb by drinking away her sorrows and how people seemed to have something beyond good looks.
Now, I realize I'm the oldest person who still watches this show but to my defense, growing up in Canada, I used to read about Real World ALL the time in magazines and wonder wtf was up with this show...so when I moved to California I got hooked, season after season.
But...even in just 6 years I've seen them go from somewhat "normal" people to typical Made-For-TV-Faces...i fully expect my hollywood actors to be gorgeous, but REAL WORLD...hello I'm not looking for models. I'm looking for the crack addict who sleeps with the uber conservative roommate's boyfriend.
Will I watch it? Of course. Last season did surprise me with Paula Walnuts turning out to be a complete looney toon. I'm just saying, I miss the days of crazy Ruthie risking life and limb by drinking away her sorrows and how people seemed to have something beyond good looks.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Hallowe'en costume issues
I know, i still need to write about Marlene's anniversary as well as camping...i've been swamped lately. At least I finished that user guide for Kraig's company finally. I want my money bitch!
So as my friend Liz once said...Hallowe'en is the only time of year where normal girls can dress slutty and get away with it.
Saturday we're going to Justin's place and i have zero costume options, so I'm debating...Slutty Nurse or Slutty Maid...(ha ha Kraig keeps correcting me by saying "sexy nurse"...whatever you want to call it dear)...
Slutty Nurse would work 'cause then Kraig could wear a doctor's jacket, BUT that really only works well with blond hair...
Slutty Maid is alright 'cause the props are easy, but i really don't see what makes it so slutty...it's just an off-the-shoulder black dress...as Kraig pointed out, slutty/sexy nurse shows cleavage, but since i HAVE no cleavage that's kinda pointless.
We'll see...what I'm kicking myself over is having gotten rid of my sailor moon costume from like 10 years ago...Me (Sailor Mercury), Stacey (Sailor Jupitor), Erin (Sailor Moon), and Christine (Sailor Mars) dressed up like the Sailor Scouts and went clubbing (clubbing age in canada = 19)...it was a kick ass costume...i should find the pics, scan them (gasp no digital) and post them online...
I take Hallowe'en VERY seriously. I'm a cheap bastard 99% of the time, but Hallowe'en has ALWAYS been very good to me as a kid and I always vowed as an adult that I would return the favor...after I bought my house I decided it was time to give back to the people...I spent a boatload on candy, I give out handfuls, i give the GOOD STUFF not the cheap stuff, and sometimes kids come twice to our place (very few homes in our complex have a front door since it's a townhouse situation and so kids will go around back not realizing it's the same house) and i STILL give them extra candy...
If we didnt' have a stupid 10pm parking situation, i would initiate a yearly hallowe'en party that would be absolutely off the hook...
Anyway...the debate rages on.....sexy nurse...or sexy maid...
So as my friend Liz once said...Hallowe'en is the only time of year where normal girls can dress slutty and get away with it.
Saturday we're going to Justin's place and i have zero costume options, so I'm debating...Slutty Nurse or Slutty Maid...(ha ha Kraig keeps correcting me by saying "sexy nurse"...whatever you want to call it dear)...
Slutty Nurse would work 'cause then Kraig could wear a doctor's jacket, BUT that really only works well with blond hair...
Slutty Maid is alright 'cause the props are easy, but i really don't see what makes it so slutty...it's just an off-the-shoulder black dress...as Kraig pointed out, slutty/sexy nurse shows cleavage, but since i HAVE no cleavage that's kinda pointless.
We'll see...what I'm kicking myself over is having gotten rid of my sailor moon costume from like 10 years ago...Me (Sailor Mercury), Stacey (Sailor Jupitor), Erin (Sailor Moon), and Christine (Sailor Mars) dressed up like the Sailor Scouts and went clubbing (clubbing age in canada = 19)...it was a kick ass costume...i should find the pics, scan them (gasp no digital) and post them online...
I take Hallowe'en VERY seriously. I'm a cheap bastard 99% of the time, but Hallowe'en has ALWAYS been very good to me as a kid and I always vowed as an adult that I would return the favor...after I bought my house I decided it was time to give back to the people...I spent a boatload on candy, I give out handfuls, i give the GOOD STUFF not the cheap stuff, and sometimes kids come twice to our place (very few homes in our complex have a front door since it's a townhouse situation and so kids will go around back not realizing it's the same house) and i STILL give them extra candy...
If we didnt' have a stupid 10pm parking situation, i would initiate a yearly hallowe'en party that would be absolutely off the hook...
Anyway...the debate rages on.....sexy nurse...or sexy maid...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Floamy
So the discussion rages on...if you had to choose between NO balls or 3 balls, what would you rather have?
If i were a guy, i'd take 3 balls and then cut one off. Which i guess horrifies guys...but uhhh...sorry people, but you might as well cut them ALL off if you're going to keep 3 'cause no chick wants to be around that. That's like a 6th toe. It's just....WEIRD...and we don't want anything to do with it.
So last night after some discussion, FLOAMY was used to recreate how 3 balls would look....
Listen guys...if you ever get more than 2, cut oneo ff. If you ever end up with LESS than 2, get an implant. Some things are just NOT negotiable.
If i were a guy, i'd take 3 balls and then cut one off. Which i guess horrifies guys...but uhhh...sorry people, but you might as well cut them ALL off if you're going to keep 3 'cause no chick wants to be around that. That's like a 6th toe. It's just....WEIRD...and we don't want anything to do with it.
So last night after some discussion, FLOAMY was used to recreate how 3 balls would look....
Listen guys...if you ever get more than 2, cut oneo ff. If you ever end up with LESS than 2, get an implant. Some things are just NOT negotiable.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I have all the social poise of a cow in heat
You know those girls who seem so put together, flawless, like they know what they're doing?
Sadly, I'm not one of them.
I became acutely aware of this in highschool..our homeroom was on the 2nd floor, and one of my best friends/locker neighbor was Erin...crazy tall, but she used to be a ballerina...running up the stairs to get to homeroom on time, I always tripped. Not once did she ever trip. We're talking slippery, slushy, full-on-winter-liquid-slathered-on-the-floor going on here and she never tripped.
You know Ugly Betty? That's pretty much me on a daily basis. Clumsy and awkward.
I rarely ever talk about work in this blog (because so many people get busted for that stuff), but I'm pretty sure that what I"m going to write won't get me in trouble.
About a year ago my company repainted and spruced up the bathrooms...the cleaning people crammed a ton of paper towels in the paper towel holder, and in the process of trying to grab some out the whole thing smashed onto my FACE. I came out all bewildered, Caroline looked at me and was like "WTF happened to you?", and I was so flustered I half laughed half cried and my forehead became the size of a golfball...soon she started laughing, i'm laughing/crying still, and everyone in the department is like "how retarded do you have to be to injure yourself from a paper towel dispenser?!"...
Even take last night. Some women are smart and get their hair fabulously dyed by their stylist. Um yeah not me. 2 weeks before my wedding in a freak moment of insomnia i attempted to give myself highlights with disastrous results (thank God i wore my hair up). You' dthink i would have learned. Last night was spent running between the bathroom and the TV (South Park) in Highlight My Own Hair, v2.0...it says in the instructions not to do it too close to the scalp because the heat intensifies the color there...did Sabina listen? Nope, i was like "wtf they dont' know what they're talking about"...
I woke up this morning and now i've got GOBS of random brassy red all over my head. Yeah, I'm bringing sexyback.Back to loserville maybe.
Then today...since the downstairs hot water thingy doesn't work and i'm too lazy to go upstairs to get hot water for my Tazo Tea, my Diet Pepsi consumption has grown exponentially. I keep a case at my desk 'cause most of the time I end up wiping the vending machine dry. So today I went to my car and brought back another 12 pack, and i smacked a pen into the cardboard case to help rip open the box....
Uhhh Einstein over here punctured a can of diet pepsi...I scream, pepsi flies everywhere...i open the fridgepack, find the can that i punctured, and start sucking soda straight from the hole. (Yes, Caroline was like "you are officially addicted now, you realize that:)...there was soda ALL around myd esk. Plus the soda was warm from being in the car.
To quote something my childhood friend Christine once said (not about me, but it works in this example): I have all the grace and poise of a cow in heat.
I realize this was the year I was going to be refined and elegant. I have failed, failed, failed miserably at this.
Yesterday I went to the chiropractor for teh first time ever (note: i'm slouching wayyy down as I type...suck it). My workstation is all screwed up and in turn, it's impacted my posture and my spine, which is duly noted to have very narrow shoulders and basically being built like a midget. So dude says that if we go crazy adjusting me for a short time, it'll be okay, as opposed to years and years and years of visits like most people seem to need.
Have you ever been adjusted? It was crazy. I mean, i had my neck done once by an ex bf's sister, but that was NOTHING. First they zapped electricity through my muscles which freaked the hell out of me, then he put me in random poses and he'd lean all close and smush me to make me crack. At one point when he was leaning over me to crack (uhhh adjust) my back, my brain was all "hey, buddy, maybe you should buy me dinner first"...I am NOT a touchy feely person with anyone, I have a hard enough time holding Kraig's hand (yes, lord help any man who's with me...you know the scene in Clueless where Cher walks up to the school and talks about how high school guys are like dogs and this dude jumps up to hug her and she SHOVES him off and screams "ewww, get OFF of me!"...that's me), so for a dude to lean over and get all close while making my bones crack is a little uncomfortable in terms of my personal space bubble being invaded.
Anyway, the moral of the story is...some girls have grace, poise, and walk into a women being perfectly ladylike and respectable...sadly, I have zero of these traits.
Sadly, I'm not one of them.
I became acutely aware of this in highschool..our homeroom was on the 2nd floor, and one of my best friends/locker neighbor was Erin...crazy tall, but she used to be a ballerina...running up the stairs to get to homeroom on time, I always tripped. Not once did she ever trip. We're talking slippery, slushy, full-on-winter-liquid-slathered-on-the-floor going on here and she never tripped.
You know Ugly Betty? That's pretty much me on a daily basis. Clumsy and awkward.
I rarely ever talk about work in this blog (because so many people get busted for that stuff), but I'm pretty sure that what I"m going to write won't get me in trouble.
About a year ago my company repainted and spruced up the bathrooms...the cleaning people crammed a ton of paper towels in the paper towel holder, and in the process of trying to grab some out the whole thing smashed onto my FACE. I came out all bewildered, Caroline looked at me and was like "WTF happened to you?", and I was so flustered I half laughed half cried and my forehead became the size of a golfball...soon she started laughing, i'm laughing/crying still, and everyone in the department is like "how retarded do you have to be to injure yourself from a paper towel dispenser?!"...
Even take last night. Some women are smart and get their hair fabulously dyed by their stylist. Um yeah not me. 2 weeks before my wedding in a freak moment of insomnia i attempted to give myself highlights with disastrous results (thank God i wore my hair up). You' dthink i would have learned. Last night was spent running between the bathroom and the TV (South Park) in Highlight My Own Hair, v2.0...it says in the instructions not to do it too close to the scalp because the heat intensifies the color there...did Sabina listen? Nope, i was like "wtf they dont' know what they're talking about"...
I woke up this morning and now i've got GOBS of random brassy red all over my head. Yeah, I'm bringing sexyback.Back to loserville maybe.
Then today...since the downstairs hot water thingy doesn't work and i'm too lazy to go upstairs to get hot water for my Tazo Tea, my Diet Pepsi consumption has grown exponentially. I keep a case at my desk 'cause most of the time I end up wiping the vending machine dry. So today I went to my car and brought back another 12 pack, and i smacked a pen into the cardboard case to help rip open the box....
Uhhh Einstein over here punctured a can of diet pepsi...I scream, pepsi flies everywhere...i open the fridgepack, find the can that i punctured, and start sucking soda straight from the hole. (Yes, Caroline was like "you are officially addicted now, you realize that:)...there was soda ALL around myd esk. Plus the soda was warm from being in the car.
To quote something my childhood friend Christine once said (not about me, but it works in this example): I have all the grace and poise of a cow in heat.
I realize this was the year I was going to be refined and elegant. I have failed, failed, failed miserably at this.
Yesterday I went to the chiropractor for teh first time ever (note: i'm slouching wayyy down as I type...suck it). My workstation is all screwed up and in turn, it's impacted my posture and my spine, which is duly noted to have very narrow shoulders and basically being built like a midget. So dude says that if we go crazy adjusting me for a short time, it'll be okay, as opposed to years and years and years of visits like most people seem to need.
Have you ever been adjusted? It was crazy. I mean, i had my neck done once by an ex bf's sister, but that was NOTHING. First they zapped electricity through my muscles which freaked the hell out of me, then he put me in random poses and he'd lean all close and smush me to make me crack. At one point when he was leaning over me to crack (uhhh adjust) my back, my brain was all "hey, buddy, maybe you should buy me dinner first"...I am NOT a touchy feely person with anyone, I have a hard enough time holding Kraig's hand (yes, lord help any man who's with me...you know the scene in Clueless where Cher walks up to the school and talks about how high school guys are like dogs and this dude jumps up to hug her and she SHOVES him off and screams "ewww, get OFF of me!"...that's me), so for a dude to lean over and get all close while making my bones crack is a little uncomfortable in terms of my personal space bubble being invaded.
Anyway, the moral of the story is...some girls have grace, poise, and walk into a women being perfectly ladylike and respectable...sadly, I have zero of these traits.
"Gay Dad" always trumps "Slutty Mom"
OH
SNAP!
Some of the best one-liners are gonna come from the OC this year (and probably final year).
4 Minutes Preview
It starts of slow but ohhhhhhh it gets GOOD....Julie Cooper Nichol is the best tv "villain" you absolutely love right now.
SNAP!
Some of the best one-liners are gonna come from the OC this year (and probably final year).
4 Minutes Preview
It starts of slow but ohhhhhhh it gets GOOD....Julie Cooper Nichol is the best tv "villain" you absolutely love right now.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Best quote of the week...err...weekend?
From a friend, this is SO true:
"the people you attract to your life when you're in one state don't stay with you after you've moved out of that state unless they are changing as well or making a CONCERTED effort to accept your growth and your new terms"
When i get the pics, I'll post a bit about this weekend's camping (my first "real" camping ever) and how things went down with Bruno...it wasn't pretty.
"the people you attract to your life when you're in one state don't stay with you after you've moved out of that state unless they are changing as well or making a CONCERTED effort to accept your growth and your new terms"
When i get the pics, I'll post a bit about this weekend's camping (my first "real" camping ever) and how things went down with Bruno...it wasn't pretty.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Make love, not Warcraft
Disclaimer: yes I've heard of Blizzard because my husband makes video games,but I've never even seen World of Warcraft and I learned yesterday that the graphics look so crappy because it's intended for everyone to play, no matter how crummy the computer. Anyway, the point is that I thought this was EXTREMELY creative and well done, even if you don't know the game and how it works.
This was, by far, the FUNNIEST effing South Park episode ever. This clip is around 10mins long, but forward to 6:00mins in...
The BEST part is at 7:01, where Timmy gets to speak...
This was, by far, the FUNNIEST effing South Park episode ever. This clip is around 10mins long, but forward to 6:00mins in...
The BEST part is at 7:01, where Timmy gets to speak...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
TV Wrap Up
Oh mannnnn I'm just addicted to too many shows.
Lost - Season Premiere
For a fantastic episode summary and commentary, Entertainment WEekly's Review.
So part of me wasn't in the mood for Lost, but I knew that I would kick myself if I didn't watch it last night so I shmushed in on the couch between the cats and got it on.
The episode is spent flashing back to Jack's post-marriage-fallout-but-pre-divorce mode, and the 3 kidnapees now that they're trapped by The Others.
Henry Gale is really Ben, the ringleader, and he's got a blondie wife named Juliet...
Sawyer (my boy! I missed him) is spent in a cage learning monkey tricks while the soundtrack to Planet of the Apes was playing.
Kate had a fancy shmancy breakfast with Ben, and he made her wear a dress so that she could feel like "a lady" and have something fond to look onto. Uhhh, buddy, wearing a dress is NOT something fond to remember. The average chick will take jeans over a dress when it comes to comfort ANY day. I know when I'm trapped by a bunch of jackasses, i'd rather have jeans, a bra, and shoes instead of a dress, no bra, and no shoes...
As for Jack, he dealt with Juliet and did a good job of tackling her when she lowered her trust. There is ONE touching scene i have to note...the entire series of flashbacks are spent with Jack begging to answer: "what is his name?"...and his ex wife wouldn't tell him. All the guy wanted was a NAME.
So when Juliet shows the folder of Jack's Life, and shows that she knows all about Sarah (that's her name right? Whatever. The chick who's on Boston Legal now), he finally gets to ask his question. But instead of asking "What is his name?"....he asks, "Is she happy?"...as Juliet says "yes, she is very happy", Jack completely breaks down.
Because when you truly, honestly love someone...it's not whether YOU get to be with them. It's whether THEY are happy. And if that's not with you...it's heartbreaking, it's gut-wrenching, but if you love them then you'll accept that that's what it takes for them to be happy.
And best of all...the previews show Sawyer getting his kissing groove on with Kate. I can't stand Kate, but YEAH go Team Sawyer!
Laguna Beack
Seriously, why do I bother with this show? Because i liked Seasons 1 and 2? It's a new cast, and they suck.
All i have to say is that Kyndra's boyfriend is a WHINEY LITTLE BITCH...she's definitely the dude in that relationship. When a chick asks you why you're being a douche, don't be all prissy and say "nothing" and then later pull a hissy fit.
House of Carters
Now it's only a fluke that i caught this, but I'm so glad that I did. It was absolutely brilliant.
Premise: Nick Carter (the baby Backstreet Boy) gets his dysfunctional siblings all in one house to finally learn to get along and grieve over their f*cked up childhood.
Let's see...Nick is the Dad of the bunch, since he's the one footing the bill and the rich one. BJ is the alcoholic annoying brat who's going to be flipping burgers for the rest of her life. Aaron, amazingly, is extremely goal oriented for someone so immature.
Remember, Aaron is the guy who created the feud between Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff years ago
Then there's Aaron's twin sister who's a wannabe model, and probably the most level-headed one (because she knows stress makes you break out), and then there's the big sister of the bunch who's got that whole "i'm responsible for everyone" thing going on.
Still, you think, wtf sounds boring...ohhh no. First episode their mom goes off the deep end, again, and they all argue over whether it's their responsibility, that you've only got one mom, but how many times do cave when someone cries wolf, and when a family member is mentally ill what do you do...
As immature and retarded as these 5 are, it's also crazy to think that they're being forced to play grownups to parents who are immature gold diggers, and they are clearly not equipped to deal with the real world as a result.
Plus, they are emotionally F*CKED UP from having to grow up so fast.
Then there's a scene where Nick flips on Aaron...of which, i would have flipped too...Nick pulls Aaron ina room, beats the pulp out of him (off camera), back on camera we see them crying and screaming and bloodied up and people screaming to call the cops...
ANd you know how it ended?
With Aaron and Nick hugging each other saying "you're my brother! MY BROTHER MAN!".
The Bachelor
Okay i don't normally watch this except for 1 season and I haven't watched it yet so far, but I got into an office pool at work over who would win and I got Kim from Long Beach. Yee haw. So i guess I'm going to have to start watching.
Which is fine by me, because What About Brian is on afterwords.
Fashion House
I"m not going to summarize, all i'm going to say is YES i'm still watching this stupid nightly soap opera. It's so horrible on so many levels, but now i've gotten so sucked in I absolutely can't NOT watch. ARgh.
Tv is my best friend.
Lost - Season Premiere
For a fantastic episode summary and commentary, Entertainment WEekly's Review.
So part of me wasn't in the mood for Lost, but I knew that I would kick myself if I didn't watch it last night so I shmushed in on the couch between the cats and got it on.
The episode is spent flashing back to Jack's post-marriage-fallout-but-pre-divorce mode, and the 3 kidnapees now that they're trapped by The Others.
Henry Gale is really Ben, the ringleader, and he's got a blondie wife named Juliet...
Sawyer (my boy! I missed him) is spent in a cage learning monkey tricks while the soundtrack to Planet of the Apes was playing.
Kate had a fancy shmancy breakfast with Ben, and he made her wear a dress so that she could feel like "a lady" and have something fond to look onto. Uhhh, buddy, wearing a dress is NOT something fond to remember. The average chick will take jeans over a dress when it comes to comfort ANY day. I know when I'm trapped by a bunch of jackasses, i'd rather have jeans, a bra, and shoes instead of a dress, no bra, and no shoes...
As for Jack, he dealt with Juliet and did a good job of tackling her when she lowered her trust. There is ONE touching scene i have to note...the entire series of flashbacks are spent with Jack begging to answer: "what is his name?"...and his ex wife wouldn't tell him. All the guy wanted was a NAME.
So when Juliet shows the folder of Jack's Life, and shows that she knows all about Sarah (that's her name right? Whatever. The chick who's on Boston Legal now), he finally gets to ask his question. But instead of asking "What is his name?"....he asks, "Is she happy?"...as Juliet says "yes, she is very happy", Jack completely breaks down.
Because when you truly, honestly love someone...it's not whether YOU get to be with them. It's whether THEY are happy. And if that's not with you...it's heartbreaking, it's gut-wrenching, but if you love them then you'll accept that that's what it takes for them to be happy.
And best of all...the previews show Sawyer getting his kissing groove on with Kate. I can't stand Kate, but YEAH go Team Sawyer!
Laguna Beack
Seriously, why do I bother with this show? Because i liked Seasons 1 and 2? It's a new cast, and they suck.
All i have to say is that Kyndra's boyfriend is a WHINEY LITTLE BITCH...she's definitely the dude in that relationship. When a chick asks you why you're being a douche, don't be all prissy and say "nothing" and then later pull a hissy fit.
House of Carters
Now it's only a fluke that i caught this, but I'm so glad that I did. It was absolutely brilliant.
Premise: Nick Carter (the baby Backstreet Boy) gets his dysfunctional siblings all in one house to finally learn to get along and grieve over their f*cked up childhood.
Let's see...Nick is the Dad of the bunch, since he's the one footing the bill and the rich one. BJ is the alcoholic annoying brat who's going to be flipping burgers for the rest of her life. Aaron, amazingly, is extremely goal oriented for someone so immature.
Remember, Aaron is the guy who created the feud between Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff years ago
Then there's Aaron's twin sister who's a wannabe model, and probably the most level-headed one (because she knows stress makes you break out), and then there's the big sister of the bunch who's got that whole "i'm responsible for everyone" thing going on.
Still, you think, wtf sounds boring...ohhh no. First episode their mom goes off the deep end, again, and they all argue over whether it's their responsibility, that you've only got one mom, but how many times do cave when someone cries wolf, and when a family member is mentally ill what do you do...
As immature and retarded as these 5 are, it's also crazy to think that they're being forced to play grownups to parents who are immature gold diggers, and they are clearly not equipped to deal with the real world as a result.
Plus, they are emotionally F*CKED UP from having to grow up so fast.
Then there's a scene where Nick flips on Aaron...of which, i would have flipped too...Nick pulls Aaron ina room, beats the pulp out of him (off camera), back on camera we see them crying and screaming and bloodied up and people screaming to call the cops...
ANd you know how it ended?
With Aaron and Nick hugging each other saying "you're my brother! MY BROTHER MAN!".
The Bachelor
Okay i don't normally watch this except for 1 season and I haven't watched it yet so far, but I got into an office pool at work over who would win and I got Kim from Long Beach. Yee haw. So i guess I'm going to have to start watching.
Which is fine by me, because What About Brian is on afterwords.
Fashion House
I"m not going to summarize, all i'm going to say is YES i'm still watching this stupid nightly soap opera. It's so horrible on so many levels, but now i've gotten so sucked in I absolutely can't NOT watch. ARgh.
Tv is my best friend.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Oh no you DI-INT!
If you want to come on out here and watch the UFC with me... I'd be more than happy to explain what is going on for you. I hate it when the uneducated people that watch the sport jump to conclusions, or just hate because they don't understand what is going on.
HA i would only to prove to you how gay it is!
First off, "sweaty mantouching":
Are they sweaty? Check.
Are they men? Check.
Do they touch? Check.
Seems like I havea good understanding of that...
Are they practically naked? Check.
Is there man on man action? Check.
Sure, it's rough, sure they get bruised and bloodied, sure their faces end up in some strange parts of the other dude's body, sure they probably have a hard time walking the next day, but that to me is a damn good roll in the gay if that happens on MY saturday night....
AND....
I'm not knocking that it's not massively physical and taxing on the human body or any of that stuff, but once again...so is a GREAT saturday night....
But then again, you also probably agree that teabagging isn't a gay activity so...If you want to come on out here and watch gay porn with me... I'd be more than happy to explain what is going on for you. I hate it when the uneducated people put their nuts on another's guys face jump to conclusions, or just hate because they don't understand what is going on.
disclaimer: i'm not knocking gay people, or gay lifestyles, i don't give a crap who people love, i'm just saying, straightmen of the world...wrestling-type activities or activities where your gonads are near another dude's orifices is GAY!
HA i would only to prove to you how gay it is!
First off, "sweaty mantouching":
Are they sweaty? Check.
Are they men? Check.
Do they touch? Check.
Seems like I havea good understanding of that...
Are they practically naked? Check.
Is there man on man action? Check.
Sure, it's rough, sure they get bruised and bloodied, sure their faces end up in some strange parts of the other dude's body, sure they probably have a hard time walking the next day, but that to me is a damn good roll in the gay if that happens on MY saturday night....
AND....
I'm not knocking that it's not massively physical and taxing on the human body or any of that stuff, but once again...so is a GREAT saturday night....
But then again, you also probably agree that teabagging isn't a gay activity so...If you want to come on out here and watch gay porn with me... I'd be more than happy to explain what is going on for you. I hate it when the uneducated people put their nuts on another's guys face jump to conclusions, or just hate because they don't understand what is going on.
disclaimer: i'm not knocking gay people, or gay lifestyles, i don't give a crap who people love, i'm just saying, straightmen of the world...wrestling-type activities or activities where your gonads are near another dude's orifices is GAY!
Monday, October 02, 2006
From Marlene's myspace quiz thingy....
Got time to kill...I need to get off my ass and Shutterfly those AZ pics. Hey i just realized Norm doesn't read/comment anymore...i kinda miss that!
1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
Last FORMAL relationship: I moved to California, I wanted an escape and I thought that moving to another country might do the job.
Last INFORMAL relationship: it was fabulous and fun but zero long term potential...a little sad actually.
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?:
This morning in the shower.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?:
Driving to werk.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?:
Perusing myspace.
5. Are you any good at math?:
In my head, no, but on paper yep...as in, basic math I suck at but I looooved Calculus and all that...
6. Your prom night?:
I went to like 5 proms...but they were ALL great.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?:
My dad once said we were related to Genghis Khan.
8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?:
Nope. Canadian subsidized education baby!
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?:
There's no song on there.
10. Last thing received in the mail?:
A TONNNN of mail...being gone for a week and all.
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?:
two...tazo tea and diet pepsi
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering?
I try to avoid it, i'd rather just text
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?:
As in, who's the first concert i ever saw OR where did i first have sex at a concert?
First concert...crap...wasn't our lady peace...i don't remember...as for sex at a concert, not something i recall ever trying...
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?:
No, and for some reason I think that's kind of retarded.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?:
Gum grafting
16. What is out your back door?:
That's an odd way to word it. A wooden patio, a patio set, Myrtle The Lemon Tree, some palm trees, a bbq, random crap.
17. Any plans for tonight?:
Mostly just cleaning and catching up on more DVR stuff (we had 77 items recorded while we were gone).
18. Do you like the ocean?:
It's okay.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?:
nope.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?:
nope
22. Something you are excited about?:
camping...marlene's anniversary thing...GETTING A NEW CAR...
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?:
orange
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?:
nope
25. Describe your keychain:
Home key, car key, Carrie's house key, key for my drawer at work, key fob for work, remote car thingy, a green comb, a beer opener that says Dungeons & dragons (I don't drink beer nor do I play D&D), my libary key card, albertsons/ralphs/petsmart/petco/DSW saver cards...
26. Where do you keep your change?:
In my wallet.
27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?:
I asked a question at the wine tasting I went to in Arizona, that had alot of people.
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
I still have my Columbia ski jacket, but i never wear it.
29. What was the weather like on your graduation?:
Which graduation? University...hmmm it was April-ish...so probably cold and slushy.
30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?:
Open, the cats need to get in and out.
BRYAN: I got your text! I have some of those notes too in my parents' place! We should find a place where we can feed them all into a scanner and make them electronic!
1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
Last FORMAL relationship: I moved to California, I wanted an escape and I thought that moving to another country might do the job.
Last INFORMAL relationship: it was fabulous and fun but zero long term potential...a little sad actually.
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?:
This morning in the shower.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?:
Driving to werk.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?:
Perusing myspace.
5. Are you any good at math?:
In my head, no, but on paper yep...as in, basic math I suck at but I looooved Calculus and all that...
6. Your prom night?:
I went to like 5 proms...but they were ALL great.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?:
My dad once said we were related to Genghis Khan.
8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?:
Nope. Canadian subsidized education baby!
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?:
There's no song on there.
10. Last thing received in the mail?:
A TONNNN of mail...being gone for a week and all.
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?:
two...tazo tea and diet pepsi
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering?
I try to avoid it, i'd rather just text
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?:
As in, who's the first concert i ever saw OR where did i first have sex at a concert?
First concert...crap...wasn't our lady peace...i don't remember...as for sex at a concert, not something i recall ever trying...
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?:
No, and for some reason I think that's kind of retarded.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?:
Gum grafting
16. What is out your back door?:
That's an odd way to word it. A wooden patio, a patio set, Myrtle The Lemon Tree, some palm trees, a bbq, random crap.
17. Any plans for tonight?:
Mostly just cleaning and catching up on more DVR stuff (we had 77 items recorded while we were gone).
18. Do you like the ocean?:
It's okay.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?:
nope.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?:
nope
22. Something you are excited about?:
camping...marlene's anniversary thing...GETTING A NEW CAR...
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?:
orange
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?:
nope
25. Describe your keychain:
Home key, car key, Carrie's house key, key for my drawer at work, key fob for work, remote car thingy, a green comb, a beer opener that says Dungeons & dragons (I don't drink beer nor do I play D&D), my libary key card, albertsons/ralphs/petsmart/petco/DSW saver cards...
26. Where do you keep your change?:
In my wallet.
27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?:
I asked a question at the wine tasting I went to in Arizona, that had alot of people.
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
I still have my Columbia ski jacket, but i never wear it.
29. What was the weather like on your graduation?:
Which graduation? University...hmmm it was April-ish...so probably cold and slushy.
30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?:
Open, the cats need to get in and out.
BRYAN: I got your text! I have some of those notes too in my parents' place! We should find a place where we can feed them all into a scanner and make them electronic!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
UFC is more gay than DH
So thanks to having NO access to DVR for 7 days, that meant Kraig and I were stuck watching shows...LIVE....all last week (although we did have a combined total of 4 TVs, it kind of felt weird to be in different rooms during our vacation so we tried to avoid separate TV watching)...which meant I was stuck watching his UFC crap...
I mean, it's not that I don't find it entertaining (this in particular, some Matt Hughes guy vs. some blond Joe Riggs punk)...I seriously dig violoence like you wouldn't believe...but let's be real, these guys are sweaty, beefy, and they were CONSTANTLY laying on top of each other on the ground, with their heads going in places that even the whore-est of women would go. And i'm not knocking the gay lifestyle, i'm just saying, people...let's take this for what it is....an opportunity for men to get OUT of the bathhouses and onto mainstream tv with their sweaty mantouching.
As for Desperate Housewives....
So i finally caught up on 2 weeks' worth of the new season, and just like Best Week Ever proclaimed: it's just like season 1 with a new guy with a murder history, but hey it worked the first time around right? So far, it's great. BUT....
The writers are seriously swiping their material. Let's see...in 2 weeks:
1. Orson and Bree are waiting before marriage before having sex, which of course sends Gabby laughing through the roof and the 4 women have a little chat about "testing" before buying. Last time Kyle MacLachlan (aka Orson) played this role, he was Trey MacDougal on Sex and the City, and Charlotte was the one who was waiting until marriage before sleeping with him and Samantha was the one laughing through the roof. Been there, done that.
2. Gabby and Carlos eagerly waiting for their baby and when it's born, everyone is shocked to see a black child. As seen with Christian's child on Nip/Tuck
3. The hospital screwed up the fertility treatment and gave the wrong specimen to the surrogate. As seen on Days of OUr Lives (Belle got Shawn's goods, not Phillipe's)
What does all of this tell us?
That I watch wayyyy too much damn tv!
I mean, it's not that I don't find it entertaining (this in particular, some Matt Hughes guy vs. some blond Joe Riggs punk)...I seriously dig violoence like you wouldn't believe...but let's be real, these guys are sweaty, beefy, and they were CONSTANTLY laying on top of each other on the ground, with their heads going in places that even the whore-est of women would go. And i'm not knocking the gay lifestyle, i'm just saying, people...let's take this for what it is....an opportunity for men to get OUT of the bathhouses and onto mainstream tv with their sweaty mantouching.
As for Desperate Housewives....
So i finally caught up on 2 weeks' worth of the new season, and just like Best Week Ever proclaimed: it's just like season 1 with a new guy with a murder history, but hey it worked the first time around right? So far, it's great. BUT....
The writers are seriously swiping their material. Let's see...in 2 weeks:
1. Orson and Bree are waiting before marriage before having sex, which of course sends Gabby laughing through the roof and the 4 women have a little chat about "testing" before buying. Last time Kyle MacLachlan (aka Orson) played this role, he was Trey MacDougal on Sex and the City, and Charlotte was the one who was waiting until marriage before sleeping with him and Samantha was the one laughing through the roof. Been there, done that.
2. Gabby and Carlos eagerly waiting for their baby and when it's born, everyone is shocked to see a black child. As seen with Christian's child on Nip/Tuck
3. The hospital screwed up the fertility treatment and gave the wrong specimen to the surrogate. As seen on Days of OUr Lives (Belle got Shawn's goods, not Phillipe's)
What does all of this tell us?
That I watch wayyyy too much damn tv!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Crazy magician...
Hey i'm in AZ...will have plenty of commentary to provide....
Last night we did a Cowboy Cookout (me, Kraig, this other 20-something couple, and a dozen senior citizens. Good times) in some...uh cowboy-looking thing...complete with a shootout (yes, i fired a real gun for the first time ever) and buffalo chilli...
Anyway this magician came to our table and hands down, the best magician i've ever seen. He whips his cards out of a box and then shows how the box is smaller than the cards (how did he do it? ooh ahh) and did a whole bunch of the usual "look at a card, oh is this the card?" things, but at one point I picked out a card and signed my name on it...
He then proceeded to do a TON of crazy tricks whereby my card would come up....at one point he went into his wallet and pulled out from that sticky plasticky area where you put your driver's license...MY CARD...that blew everyone away...
And then finally he shoves my card in the pile, shuffles it, puts a rubber band around the deck, throws the deck at the ceiling...and somehow STICKING to the ceiling is my card...it was crazy.
Hands down, best card magician work stuff i've seen in my life. That was worth eating buffalo chilli for.
Last night we did a Cowboy Cookout (me, Kraig, this other 20-something couple, and a dozen senior citizens. Good times) in some...uh cowboy-looking thing...complete with a shootout (yes, i fired a real gun for the first time ever) and buffalo chilli...
Anyway this magician came to our table and hands down, the best magician i've ever seen. He whips his cards out of a box and then shows how the box is smaller than the cards (how did he do it? ooh ahh) and did a whole bunch of the usual "look at a card, oh is this the card?" things, but at one point I picked out a card and signed my name on it...
He then proceeded to do a TON of crazy tricks whereby my card would come up....at one point he went into his wallet and pulled out from that sticky plasticky area where you put your driver's license...MY CARD...that blew everyone away...
And then finally he shoves my card in the pile, shuffles it, puts a rubber band around the deck, throws the deck at the ceiling...and somehow STICKING to the ceiling is my card...it was crazy.
Hands down, best card magician work stuff i've seen in my life. That was worth eating buffalo chilli for.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Soooo sad....
This is crazy sad (okay, also 'cause i watch that tv show religiously so i SAW all the pregnancy footage):
IP: Run's House rapper Rev Run and wife Justine mourning the loss of their newborn daughter, who was pronounced dead shortly after her birth Tuesday, according to TMZ.com. Doctors reportedly delivered the baby via C-section, at which time they discovered she was born with organs outside her body.
IP: Run's House rapper Rev Run and wife Justine mourning the loss of their newborn daughter, who was pronounced dead shortly after her birth Tuesday, according to TMZ.com. Doctors reportedly delivered the baby via C-section, at which time they discovered she was born with organs outside her body.
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