Okay, once and for all...gotta update those 2009 goals.
I hate New Year's resolutions, because they're usually not measurable ("i want to lose weight"...uh no, make it a NUMBER) nor is there a decent timeline that provides motivation (who can wait 12 months to do anything?)...
Well all of my 2008 goals were shot to hell, so let's revisit shall we?
May - finish working on a UG that I keep procrastinating on
June - Ebay like a mofo now that I've got the new camera, Canon 790SD get rid of ALL the crap once and for all. Plus badly needed to pay those vet bills.
July - Veg out, relax, and read at least 2 books that *I* want to read (i say 2 because I'm trying to be realistic with schedules and stuff)
August - build up at least 3 of the websites that I bought domain names for (latest one...TeenLifeCrisis.com ...i wanted TeenAngst.com but of course that was taken)
September - Read 2 of the French books I've got
Would it be so bad if my goals read as the following:
May - catch up on 4 months' of DVRed shows (those Desperate Housewives episodes aren't going to watch themselves)
June - see how long it takes of no laundry before I run out of underwear...my bet? 17 days.
July - See if it's possible to do nothing in an entire month other than sleep, eat, go to work. That's ALOTTA sleeping. But I'm up for the challenge.
August - Pour an entire bottle of Olay Regenerist each night on my face in hopes that turning 32 won't display on my epidermis.
September - Catch up on all the DVRed shows missed in July due to excessive sleeping. (Those I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here episodes aren't going to watch themselves).
I'd write more, but I'm finally caught up on 90210 and tonight's episode is the prom finale. Ahhh...prom...must save that discussion for TeenLifeCrisis.com.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Google gold, errrr, chrome....
I don't see what the big deal is with Google Chrome.
It's actually working a lot faster than Firefox, but maybe because I refuse to add all the extensions and what not. Or maybe I'm not as big of a geek as I thought I was.
It IS pretty cool that it'll keep tabs (haha bad pun) on your most frequently-visited pages and displays them on the home page, but mehhh...not that big of a deal.
On another note, I'm thinking that maybe every time I post something here I should include the link back to it, since most people read this blog now through Facebook.
It's actually working a lot faster than Firefox, but maybe because I refuse to add all the extensions and what not. Or maybe I'm not as big of a geek as I thought I was.
It IS pretty cool that it'll keep tabs (haha bad pun) on your most frequently-visited pages and displays them on the home page, but mehhh...not that big of a deal.
On another note, I'm thinking that maybe every time I post something here I should include the link back to it, since most people read this blog now through Facebook.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Movie Review: Wolverine
Yeah, there might be spoilers. Not anything that you can't guess. Like...obviously he doesn't kill Sabretooth since he's in the other movies (at least, from what i remember right?) and this is a prequel.
Let me backtrack and give you the Sabina X-Men History:
I was a teenager when I first heard of X-Men, the kids I used to babysit LOVED the cartoon. And then *I* loved the cartoon. It was the shiz. Note to self: get the DVDs.
Later in University I bought my boyfriend this huge collection of X-Men comics,issues 1-100, in sequence. They were reprints...at the time cost me around $100-$150, which is alotta coin when you're a student blowing $200 each weekend on liquor. Well not all on liquor...I'm pretty sure that after $30 worth of alcohol bartenders would just stiff me my change since it's not like i was going to count it drunk anyway.
Well f*cker boyfriend gave me a snotty reply when I gave him the comics that he had most of the ORIGINALS already. I was like "fine, suck it" and took them back. Read them myself. LOVED them of course.
Later I date/get engaged/marry Kraig, who's a massive comic book affectionado. In fact, if there's a Cigar Affectionado magazine, I wonder if there's a magazine for comic book readers...sorta like Soap Opera Digest. Superman's contract is renewed. All the drama on this week's Avengers! Find out who Lyja makes out with this week!. Enter the world of Comic Con and endless nagging to "...take those frickin' books off the coffee table and put them upstairs because they're just clutter and it's pissing me off".
So...while I'm not an ultra nerd, I can hold my own when it comes to the world of comic books.
Loved the first X-Men movie, minus stupid Halle Barry as Storm. WTF. Oh and Famke Janssen...I already can't stand Jean Grey's character ("oh whoa is me, my mutant powers give me a headache". Professor X needs to toss her some Advils and boot her ass out the door.). WTF is this crap:
The second one I loathed. WTF is that whole Asian invasion nonsense. Getting Kelly Hu to play Deathstrike...that's post-Crouching Tiger, when every movie had to star a hot Asian chick who could kick ass. See also: Michelle Yeoh in Tomorrow Never Dies. And the Charlie's Angels franchise. I really hate when Hollywood uses people as a trend. (See also: funny-lovable-overweight-sassy-teen-boy. I'm looking at you Jonah Hill).
Thus I skipped the 3rd Xmen, i was tired of the whole franchise, tired of seeing the dolls with the new black outfits, just tired of it all.
So what made me come out of hiding for X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Pfft, like you even need to ask:
Yeahhhh...Ryan Reynolds can get me out for a public caning. Those would be tears of joy pouring down my face.
(this is where I apologize to my husband for having to be...well...married to me.)
Now, onto the movie.
There's some chronological issues I have at the beginning, but okay the last thing we'd expect from filmmakers is for their movie to make sense. It seems like it's supposed to take place in the late 70s, which is interesting because no one had a hippie hairdo, long sideburns, or handlebar mustache. No monochromatic or flowered shirts. Apparently in Canada in the 70s, it looks just like 2009. My people are very progressive.
Hugh Jackman is actually pretty brilliant in it, but what do you expect from a guy who's entire career is based on his lucky shot as getting to play Wolverine? Dude needs this franchise to pay for those raw eggs he has to consume to get that body. He had to eat 5000 cals a day as part of the beefing-up plan (or so I hear from TMZ, and Harvey Levin would never steer me wrong).
The story is the usual spiel: boy meets girl, girl gets killed, boy turns renegade and turns his back on society by agreeing to get adamantium shellacked to his bones in order to get revenge, boy realizes he got boned up the ass by agreeing to the aforementioned surgery, boy now really really wants to get revenge. Violence mixed with comedic moments ensue.
If you're looking for entertainment, this movie gets an A+. If you're looking for Ryan Reynolds, this movie gets a C. Deadpool starts off as Van Wilder, ends up like Frankenstein. Sigh.
If you're a Taylor Kitsch fan, yeah you're screwed up the pooch too. Gambit's a minor character in this movie. And i really take exception to his appearance. THIS is how Gambit should look:
Short spiky hair with a strong jaw. WTF is this crap:
That's not Gambit. That's frickin' A Clockwork Orange.
Does this review have a point? Let's summarize:
Entertaining: yes
Ryan Reynolds: barely
Taylor Kitsch: barely
Hugh Jackman: fantastic
Storyline: nothing you didn't already know.
Oh if you do go see it, sit through the entire credits...there's another few mins, but what they show on the east coast is different than what they showed here. Now you know.
Let me backtrack and give you the Sabina X-Men History:
I was a teenager when I first heard of X-Men, the kids I used to babysit LOVED the cartoon. And then *I* loved the cartoon. It was the shiz. Note to self: get the DVDs.
Later in University I bought my boyfriend this huge collection of X-Men comics,issues 1-100, in sequence. They were reprints...at the time cost me around $100-$150, which is alotta coin when you're a student blowing $200 each weekend on liquor. Well not all on liquor...I'm pretty sure that after $30 worth of alcohol bartenders would just stiff me my change since it's not like i was going to count it drunk anyway.
Well f*cker boyfriend gave me a snotty reply when I gave him the comics that he had most of the ORIGINALS already. I was like "fine, suck it" and took them back. Read them myself. LOVED them of course.
Later I date/get engaged/marry Kraig, who's a massive comic book affectionado. In fact, if there's a Cigar Affectionado magazine, I wonder if there's a magazine for comic book readers...sorta like Soap Opera Digest. Superman's contract is renewed. All the drama on this week's Avengers! Find out who Lyja makes out with this week!. Enter the world of Comic Con and endless nagging to "...take those frickin' books off the coffee table and put them upstairs because they're just clutter and it's pissing me off".
So...while I'm not an ultra nerd, I can hold my own when it comes to the world of comic books.
Loved the first X-Men movie, minus stupid Halle Barry as Storm. WTF. Oh and Famke Janssen...I already can't stand Jean Grey's character ("oh whoa is me, my mutant powers give me a headache". Professor X needs to toss her some Advils and boot her ass out the door.). WTF is this crap:
The second one I loathed. WTF is that whole Asian invasion nonsense. Getting Kelly Hu to play Deathstrike...that's post-Crouching Tiger, when every movie had to star a hot Asian chick who could kick ass. See also: Michelle Yeoh in Tomorrow Never Dies. And the Charlie's Angels franchise. I really hate when Hollywood uses people as a trend. (See also: funny-lovable-overweight-sassy-teen-boy. I'm looking at you Jonah Hill).
Thus I skipped the 3rd Xmen, i was tired of the whole franchise, tired of seeing the dolls with the new black outfits, just tired of it all.
So what made me come out of hiding for X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Pfft, like you even need to ask:
Yeahhhh...Ryan Reynolds can get me out for a public caning. Those would be tears of joy pouring down my face.
(this is where I apologize to my husband for having to be...well...married to me.)
Now, onto the movie.
There's some chronological issues I have at the beginning, but okay the last thing we'd expect from filmmakers is for their movie to make sense. It seems like it's supposed to take place in the late 70s, which is interesting because no one had a hippie hairdo, long sideburns, or handlebar mustache. No monochromatic or flowered shirts. Apparently in Canada in the 70s, it looks just like 2009. My people are very progressive.
Hugh Jackman is actually pretty brilliant in it, but what do you expect from a guy who's entire career is based on his lucky shot as getting to play Wolverine? Dude needs this franchise to pay for those raw eggs he has to consume to get that body. He had to eat 5000 cals a day as part of the beefing-up plan (or so I hear from TMZ, and Harvey Levin would never steer me wrong).
The story is the usual spiel: boy meets girl, girl gets killed, boy turns renegade and turns his back on society by agreeing to get adamantium shellacked to his bones in order to get revenge, boy realizes he got boned up the ass by agreeing to the aforementioned surgery, boy now really really wants to get revenge. Violence mixed with comedic moments ensue.
If you're looking for entertainment, this movie gets an A+. If you're looking for Ryan Reynolds, this movie gets a C. Deadpool starts off as Van Wilder, ends up like Frankenstein. Sigh.
If you're a Taylor Kitsch fan, yeah you're screwed up the pooch too. Gambit's a minor character in this movie. And i really take exception to his appearance. THIS is how Gambit should look:
Short spiky hair with a strong jaw. WTF is this crap:
That's not Gambit. That's frickin' A Clockwork Orange.
Does this review have a point? Let's summarize:
Entertaining: yes
Ryan Reynolds: barely
Taylor Kitsch: barely
Hugh Jackman: fantastic
Storyline: nothing you didn't already know.
Oh if you do go see it, sit through the entire credits...there's another few mins, but what they show on the east coast is different than what they showed here. Now you know.
Friday, May 01, 2009
IM with my mom
Just a snippet of an IM with my mom today, for your viewing pleasure
Mom (1:32 PM): is it hot down there?
Mom (1:33 PM): do u still have those palm trees? hope so, they add shade on your patio
ME (1:33 PM): yes, we do
ME (1:33 PM): but it's cold
Mom (1:33 PM): lol cold where u r, stop complaining, u grew up in canada
ME (1:34 PM): yep
Mom (1:34 PM): do a lot of bbq actions?
ME (1:34 PM): no
Mom (1:34 PM): why?
Mom (1:35 PM): do u sometimes use that pool?
Mom (1:36 PM): are the rabbits still there?
ME (1:36 PM): too expensive, no, and yes
Mom (1:36 PM): poor babies have to hide from those nasty coyotes
ME (1:38 PM): yep
Mom (1:38 PM): sad something has to die so others can live
Mom (1:39 PM): poor smokey would be long ago turned into a juicy steak for them
Mom (1:40 PM): but here he has a good time, comes and goes as he pleases, poopoo and peepee outside, he prefers that, basking in the sun watching the world go by, stuffing food readily available and right now sleeping at my feet happily dreaming
Mom (1:41 PM): anyway, i live u alone again, c u, going to play trivia till dad comes home
Mom (1:41 PM): oh those trivia questions are general knowledge questions
Mom (1:41 PM): c u
Mom (1:32 PM): is it hot down there?
Mom (1:33 PM): do u still have those palm trees? hope so, they add shade on your patio
ME (1:33 PM): yes, we do
ME (1:33 PM): but it's cold
Mom (1:33 PM): lol cold where u r, stop complaining, u grew up in canada
ME (1:34 PM): yep
Mom (1:34 PM): do a lot of bbq actions?
ME (1:34 PM): no
Mom (1:34 PM): why?
Mom (1:35 PM): do u sometimes use that pool?
Mom (1:36 PM): are the rabbits still there?
ME (1:36 PM): too expensive, no, and yes
Mom (1:36 PM): poor babies have to hide from those nasty coyotes
ME (1:38 PM): yep
Mom (1:38 PM): sad something has to die so others can live
Mom (1:39 PM): poor smokey would be long ago turned into a juicy steak for them
Mom (1:40 PM): but here he has a good time, comes and goes as he pleases, poopoo and peepee outside, he prefers that, basking in the sun watching the world go by, stuffing food readily available and right now sleeping at my feet happily dreaming
Mom (1:41 PM): anyway, i live u alone again, c u, going to play trivia till dad comes home
Mom (1:41 PM): oh those trivia questions are general knowledge questions
Mom (1:41 PM): c u
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Media Mayhem
Anyone who watches Lost knows why this is absolutely brilliant:
Although I'm 2 weeks behind...tonight after kickball I'm desperate to catch up. Especially knowing that Hurley is working on the Empire Strikes Back script (although how he thinks he's going to contact George Lucas from a f*cked up island is beyond me).
I'm also behind by 1 episode on Gossip Girl, but I'd like to say the following about the next episode:
Dear Nate,
I adore you. Brown hair. Blue eyes. Boyish good looks. Money. Everything a 31 year old homeowner with plummeting equity could want. But just PRETEND you actually really, REALLY want Blair...i want to see passion...i want to see tears...i want to see Charlton Heston-esque fist waving in the air...But in the end, my boy Chuck will win. Why? Because...c'mon Nate, you know why...he's Chuck Bass.
Speaking of media that is inappropriate for my age group, I'm dying to see this movie almost as much as my desire for Star Trek and Wolverine:
It's silly, since they show the entire plot in the YouTube vid, but anyone who doesn't have a horseshoe** up their ass knows that life post-grad is pretty brutal.
(** I know two people with said horseshoe, one of them being an ex-boyfriend who just walked up to ONE booth at the Ottawa U job fair thing, got the job on the spot, and worked his way to financial greatness from there. That f*cker.)
I'd like to reflect back and think that I'm so much further along in life than when I graduated, but I still feel like I'm walking around with the same deer-in-headlights look that Alexis Bledel captures so well. I feel like at all times my expression is nothing more than "dear God please help me through this next minute, I don't know wtf I'm doing".
In my mind, you are truly an adult when you no longer feel like your life is a series of final exams that you haven't studied for.
And finally...thanks to my friend Jessica I got to pretend I'm someone important by getting to wear a pass around my neck to get into the Newport Beach Film Festival. Or at least, one film anyway. Finding Bliss. Starring the girl that no one can stand or finds attractive, Leelee Sobieowski (dayam! I spelled it correct on my own!), Jamie Kennedy, and Denise Richards in yet another role proving she can't act her way out of a paper bag.
The absolute best line of the movie is shown at the 1:39 mark. It was pretty entertaining for a crappy movie, and I actually liked Miss Sobieowski in it. I should give her props...she played a great nerdy girl in one of the few chick flicks I actually like, Never Been Kissed. And I didn't know that ATM meant "ass to mouth", so now I've been schooled.
Although I'm 2 weeks behind...tonight after kickball I'm desperate to catch up. Especially knowing that Hurley is working on the Empire Strikes Back script (although how he thinks he's going to contact George Lucas from a f*cked up island is beyond me).
I'm also behind by 1 episode on Gossip Girl, but I'd like to say the following about the next episode:
Dear Nate,
I adore you. Brown hair. Blue eyes. Boyish good looks. Money. Everything a 31 year old homeowner with plummeting equity could want. But just PRETEND you actually really, REALLY want Blair...i want to see passion...i want to see tears...i want to see Charlton Heston-esque fist waving in the air...But in the end, my boy Chuck will win. Why? Because...c'mon Nate, you know why...he's Chuck Bass.
Speaking of media that is inappropriate for my age group, I'm dying to see this movie almost as much as my desire for Star Trek and Wolverine:
It's silly, since they show the entire plot in the YouTube vid, but anyone who doesn't have a horseshoe** up their ass knows that life post-grad is pretty brutal.
(** I know two people with said horseshoe, one of them being an ex-boyfriend who just walked up to ONE booth at the Ottawa U job fair thing, got the job on the spot, and worked his way to financial greatness from there. That f*cker.)
I'd like to reflect back and think that I'm so much further along in life than when I graduated, but I still feel like I'm walking around with the same deer-in-headlights look that Alexis Bledel captures so well. I feel like at all times my expression is nothing more than "dear God please help me through this next minute, I don't know wtf I'm doing".
In my mind, you are truly an adult when you no longer feel like your life is a series of final exams that you haven't studied for.
And finally...thanks to my friend Jessica I got to pretend I'm someone important by getting to wear a pass around my neck to get into the Newport Beach Film Festival. Or at least, one film anyway. Finding Bliss. Starring the girl that no one can stand or finds attractive, Leelee Sobieowski (dayam! I spelled it correct on my own!), Jamie Kennedy, and Denise Richards in yet another role proving she can't act her way out of a paper bag.
The absolute best line of the movie is shown at the 1:39 mark. It was pretty entertaining for a crappy movie, and I actually liked Miss Sobieowski in it. I should give her props...she played a great nerdy girl in one of the few chick flicks I actually like, Never Been Kissed. And I didn't know that ATM meant "ass to mouth", so now I've been schooled.
I love the taste of cardboard in the morning
I decided this morning to dedicate a whole post to the two whole nasty packaged cheese danishes I consumed this morning (why did I eat two? I felt like giving Bon Appetit's Cheese Croissant a second chance after the first one tasted so vile), which led me to do a search for an image of the thing.
Lo and behold, someone else just last week posted a whole review on it:
I am the Generalissimo's review of Bon Appetit's Cheese Croissant
Dude nailed it. Although I hate frosting on anything minus pop tarts, so that part can be ommitted.
I'm not sure I understand why packaged food is THAT different from real food. I can't stand organic crap, and I fully support preservatives, but really...how much crap do you have to pump in a food item to the point where it alters the texture, taste, and appearance just so that it can last in my pantry a whole 3 days longer?
Perhaps the fine people at Bon Appetit should consider that if they pumped their food products with less artificial crap, I'd eat more, which would thus lead me to not keep them around till the expiration date, which would then reduce the need to make their croissants last till 2012.
Isn't there some sort of law that says you can't mislabel something? You can't package water and orange food coloring as "orange juice"...so whatever this is should NOT be allowed to be called a cheese croissant.
HA a quick visit to their website displays a Flash intro saying Fresh 'n sweet, ready to eat, Bon Appetit!
I have to give their product visualization/marketing crew major props, they make this bland piece of cardboard actually look delish:
You've been warned.
Lo and behold, someone else just last week posted a whole review on it:
I am the Generalissimo's review of Bon Appetit's Cheese Croissant
Dude nailed it. Although I hate frosting on anything minus pop tarts, so that part can be ommitted.
I'm not sure I understand why packaged food is THAT different from real food. I can't stand organic crap, and I fully support preservatives, but really...how much crap do you have to pump in a food item to the point where it alters the texture, taste, and appearance just so that it can last in my pantry a whole 3 days longer?
Perhaps the fine people at Bon Appetit should consider that if they pumped their food products with less artificial crap, I'd eat more, which would thus lead me to not keep them around till the expiration date, which would then reduce the need to make their croissants last till 2012.
Isn't there some sort of law that says you can't mislabel something? You can't package water and orange food coloring as "orange juice"...so whatever this is should NOT be allowed to be called a cheese croissant.
HA a quick visit to their website displays a Flash intro saying Fresh 'n sweet, ready to eat, Bon Appetit!
I have to give their product visualization/marketing crew major props, they make this bland piece of cardboard actually look delish:
You've been warned.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Money doesn't grow on trees. Which is good, I can't grow crap.
In case no one got the memo, we're in a recession.
My attitude about all of this, other than freaking out about how much my home has dropped from what I owe (and it's an adjustable-rate loan that has yet to reset...yeah yeah I’m one THOSE people), has been to just chug forth. What else can you do? Don't spend loads of cash (but at the same time, I'm aware that some level of spending is what's necessary...oh you catch-22!), keep your resume up to date, blah blah.
I only half-listen to the news about the economic situation, stuff about Madoff and AIG...in the grand scheme, it doesn't impact me directly. I feel like we're all running a marathon. I'm trying to not let the distractions around me stop me from plowing through. I look around to make sure that nothing is barreling straight at me, but otherwise I'll let the other runners deal with it. And Obama counts as a runner.
But today, I'm officially freaked out. Like, curl-up-in-the-fetal-position-in-the-corner-crying freaked out. I guess I thought how I'm a GenXer, we survived a massive recession a short while ago...we can all do it again. Yeah, except now it's really bad. Like, I could very easily see myself getting a job at the Gap and then busting my ass in hopes that I can become a stupid 3rd Key manager. No wait, I can very easily see myself APPLYING at the Gap, and competing with retarded-ass Orange County kids. Does a store sales award from 1994 give me an edge in an interview?!
I'm even thinking that for once, maybe people SHOULD litter in case it DOES create a job for someone.
I listen to KFI 640am in the mornings...there was a debate over how much it effs everyone over when money is put towards job programs.on one hand, at least people are getting fed, but on the other hand you're expecting everyone else to subsidize failing businesses. Like a company like GM will never go obsolete. If you let it fall completely, then someone's going to take over the assets...and THOSE people will build it back up (instead of the old skool people who are still operating under unions and pensions) and protect the workers ensuring they have work.
Have you ever thought during a really bad rainstorm that’s lasted for days “Okay Mother Nature, I get it. You can stop the rain now. You’ve made your point!” I am officially telling the Economic Zeus Gods “Okay! We got it! Too much credit! Blowing cash we don’t have! Now bring us back to normal!”
My attitude about all of this, other than freaking out about how much my home has dropped from what I owe (and it's an adjustable-rate loan that has yet to reset...yeah yeah I’m one THOSE people), has been to just chug forth. What else can you do? Don't spend loads of cash (but at the same time, I'm aware that some level of spending is what's necessary...oh you catch-22!), keep your resume up to date, blah blah.
I only half-listen to the news about the economic situation, stuff about Madoff and AIG...in the grand scheme, it doesn't impact me directly. I feel like we're all running a marathon. I'm trying to not let the distractions around me stop me from plowing through. I look around to make sure that nothing is barreling straight at me, but otherwise I'll let the other runners deal with it. And Obama counts as a runner.
But today, I'm officially freaked out. Like, curl-up-in-the-fetal-position-in-the-corner-crying freaked out. I guess I thought how I'm a GenXer, we survived a massive recession a short while ago...we can all do it again. Yeah, except now it's really bad. Like, I could very easily see myself getting a job at the Gap and then busting my ass in hopes that I can become a stupid 3rd Key manager. No wait, I can very easily see myself APPLYING at the Gap, and competing with retarded-ass Orange County kids. Does a store sales award from 1994 give me an edge in an interview?!
I'm even thinking that for once, maybe people SHOULD litter in case it DOES create a job for someone.
I listen to KFI 640am in the mornings...there was a debate over how much it effs everyone over when money is put towards job programs.on one hand, at least people are getting fed, but on the other hand you're expecting everyone else to subsidize failing businesses. Like a company like GM will never go obsolete. If you let it fall completely, then someone's going to take over the assets...and THOSE people will build it back up (instead of the old skool people who are still operating under unions and pensions) and protect the workers ensuring they have work.
Have you ever thought during a really bad rainstorm that’s lasted for days “Okay Mother Nature, I get it. You can stop the rain now. You’ve made your point!” I am officially telling the Economic Zeus Gods “Okay! We got it! Too much credit! Blowing cash we don’t have! Now bring us back to normal!”
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Letter to the editor
Not everyone is willing to have sex for money. Even "octomom" is apparently above that, having turned down staring in a porn film for cash. And she certainly does need the cash.
There's two key points here:
1. Obviously this doesn't apply to people who are mentally unstable, and Octomom is clearly a loon. Someone in a straightjacket in a mental ward has no concept of money either. I'm not going to preface all my blogs with "this applies to people of sound mind".
That being said...
2. Ahhh, because that's not her price. YOU think she needs the cash. SHE doesn't. She's turned down a ton of things that the average person would take in a heartbeat. However, if all her children had some illness that only some doctor in Zimbabwe could cure for $2mil, and oh coincidence another dude will bone her for $2mil, I would bet...well not $2Mil....five bucks that she'd do it. Just because we think her lifestyle is pure crap doesn't mean she does, and thus she doesn't think it's worth it.
3. PORN is not the same as getting paid for a night of sex (unfilmed and private). My price for doing Playboy is MUCH higher than a night of sex. In my case, porn would mean i would lose a large number of my friends, any future career, and my family would be humiliated, along with the stalker/unsafe factor that would result. A night of sex doesn't carry the same baggage or consequences (it does carry its own consequences, but not on the same publicity/audience scale). So you're comparing apples and oranges.
There's two key points here:
1. Obviously this doesn't apply to people who are mentally unstable, and Octomom is clearly a loon. Someone in a straightjacket in a mental ward has no concept of money either. I'm not going to preface all my blogs with "this applies to people of sound mind".
That being said...
2. Ahhh, because that's not her price. YOU think she needs the cash. SHE doesn't. She's turned down a ton of things that the average person would take in a heartbeat. However, if all her children had some illness that only some doctor in Zimbabwe could cure for $2mil, and oh coincidence another dude will bone her for $2mil, I would bet...well not $2Mil....five bucks that she'd do it. Just because we think her lifestyle is pure crap doesn't mean she does, and thus she doesn't think it's worth it.
3. PORN is not the same as getting paid for a night of sex (unfilmed and private). My price for doing Playboy is MUCH higher than a night of sex. In my case, porn would mean i would lose a large number of my friends, any future career, and my family would be humiliated, along with the stalker/unsafe factor that would result. A night of sex doesn't carry the same baggage or consequences (it does carry its own consequences, but not on the same publicity/audience scale). So you're comparing apples and oranges.
Monday, March 09, 2009
I take credit cards, paypal, money orders, and CASH
Thanks to a wisecrack (but oh-so-true) comment from a friend, I've been thinking about how my behavior and values can be changed for money.
I've got no shame in my game: I can be purchased. And anyone who says they can't be is full of sh*t.
If someone offered you a million dollars for sex, would you say no? What if you had tons of medical bills and a sick child who needed specialized treatment? Yeah an hour or two of nakedness would seem like a Godsend.
Plus, if you have a job, then you're a whore for money. Again, if you say no...see if you would do that exact same work even if you didn't get paid (but your bills still magically got paid). If I had no bills, I certainly wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now.
(fyi: for the record, I'm grateful I'm employed. i'm just sayin', if I won the lottery, I wouldn't sit 8 hours a day at a desk)
I recall the day that my friend Erin and I wanted a Snapple from the dude at a highschool sports game who was selling them. He was also selling popcorn from one of those popcorn cart things. There was popcorn EVERYWHERE. We had no money (which is so dumb...I had money. I just didn't have money for Snapple. See the diff?) and begged the guy to let us have the snapple. He was like "hell no".
We begged. We pleaded. Jackass told us "okay, if you eat popcorn off the floor".
We looked down, and saw some popcorn wasn't totally smushed and black from footprints.
Needless to say, we were sold and ate the non-marred popcorn off the floor.
Needless to say, Jackass' jaw dropped.
Needless to say, we were handed a Snapple without a peep.
Would I do that now? Of course not. Popcorn from a vendor has too many calories :P
I'm also certainly not above begging for money. Again, my friend Erin and I in highschool were all about getting a muffin from the cafeteria once a day. I remember exactly how much they cost: 75 cents. When you bought 10 muffins, you got the next one free. So it was also all about filling up this card. So after we ate our lunch, almost every day, we did the trek around the cafeteria and rotunda to try and get 75 cents. You'd think this would be easy, but when you do this daily you can't hit up the same people. And when you live in a bus-centric city, kids aren't so quick to give up their change. I came up with the best strategy: ask for a nickel, a dime, a penny, because no one's going to be THAT cheap and say "sorry, I can't spare anything" when all you want is a NICKEL. Especially if you say "can I BORROW a nickel?" In highschool, when I was a teen, people wanted you to pay up if you owed a dollar. But a nickel? Never. It worked.
I'm not below begging.
If I weren't so freaked out by bugs, I could easily have been a contestant on Fear Factor (I'd lose anything involving physical strength but dang pay me a few grand to just sit in a box and have beetles poured on me). In the grand scheme, I hope that I can be purchased out of any fears. That's because my biggest fear is homelessness, and getting paid to deal with my other fears thus takes care of the biggest fear of all.
Then we have the concept of time vs. money. I was once offered $50 to drink a whole carton of KFC gravy. I actually love KFC gravy, I'll chug that crap over a milkshake any day. My problem was when I did the math of how many calories were in there, and how long it would take on the elliptical to burn it off, it came down to like $15/hour. Which just wasn't worth it to me at that point. I could easily work at In N Out and make that (well...$12 anyway).
The other day I was listening to the radio and some chicks called up saying how they saw an ad on Craigslist for a dude who wanted a chick to show up and kick him in the balls as hard as possible. $250. They went, she kicked him, he handed her the money. Then he said he'd pay again if she'd do that again if he wore his boxers. She said yes. She kicked him. He paid her. Guess what he suggested next? Oh c'mon now, you'll never guess...okay I'll tell you. He then offered more dough if she'd kick him in the balls...bareback. She declined and ran out.
If some creepy dude wanted to pay me FIVE bucks to kick him in the balls I'd do it in a snap. Moron should have just gotten fresh with a chick in a bar, he would have saved a few hundred bucks. Now would I have agreed to kick a dude in the balls if he were naked? No, but I also wouldn't have shown up by myself (she had her friend in the car waiting for her...eff that. I wouldn't go in alone!). But if I could convince a fearless/strong/fighter dude to show up with me for $100, then hellz yeah I would have kicked his wrinkly balls as hard as possible (and then I would slather hand sanitizer all over the tip of my boot) for $250.
Now while I would kick a naked creepy guy in the ballsack for $250, I would NOT eat bacon for $250. I may be a horrible Muslim, but I'm still Muslim enough to not eat pork, and $250 isn't worth it for me to risk the wrath in the Hereafter. yeah. I said it. Hereafter.
However for $20 thousand...yeah I can take my chances. I'm hoping God would understand a filthy dirty animal is worth the consumption if it pays off your car and can get you refinished kitchen cabinets.
Hmmm, I think I need to revisit this concept a bit more...maybe I can get a side gig by doing retarded things for the dough. The hamster in my head is spinning in his wheel....
I've got no shame in my game: I can be purchased. And anyone who says they can't be is full of sh*t.
If someone offered you a million dollars for sex, would you say no? What if you had tons of medical bills and a sick child who needed specialized treatment? Yeah an hour or two of nakedness would seem like a Godsend.
Plus, if you have a job, then you're a whore for money. Again, if you say no...see if you would do that exact same work even if you didn't get paid (but your bills still magically got paid). If I had no bills, I certainly wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now.
(fyi: for the record, I'm grateful I'm employed. i'm just sayin', if I won the lottery, I wouldn't sit 8 hours a day at a desk)
I recall the day that my friend Erin and I wanted a Snapple from the dude at a highschool sports game who was selling them. He was also selling popcorn from one of those popcorn cart things. There was popcorn EVERYWHERE. We had no money (which is so dumb...I had money. I just didn't have money for Snapple. See the diff?) and begged the guy to let us have the snapple. He was like "hell no".
We begged. We pleaded. Jackass told us "okay, if you eat popcorn off the floor".
We looked down, and saw some popcorn wasn't totally smushed and black from footprints.
Needless to say, we were sold and ate the non-marred popcorn off the floor.
Needless to say, Jackass' jaw dropped.
Needless to say, we were handed a Snapple without a peep.
Would I do that now? Of course not. Popcorn from a vendor has too many calories :P
I'm also certainly not above begging for money. Again, my friend Erin and I in highschool were all about getting a muffin from the cafeteria once a day. I remember exactly how much they cost: 75 cents. When you bought 10 muffins, you got the next one free. So it was also all about filling up this card. So after we ate our lunch, almost every day, we did the trek around the cafeteria and rotunda to try and get 75 cents. You'd think this would be easy, but when you do this daily you can't hit up the same people. And when you live in a bus-centric city, kids aren't so quick to give up their change. I came up with the best strategy: ask for a nickel, a dime, a penny, because no one's going to be THAT cheap and say "sorry, I can't spare anything" when all you want is a NICKEL. Especially if you say "can I BORROW a nickel?" In highschool, when I was a teen, people wanted you to pay up if you owed a dollar. But a nickel? Never. It worked.
I'm not below begging.
If I weren't so freaked out by bugs, I could easily have been a contestant on Fear Factor (I'd lose anything involving physical strength but dang pay me a few grand to just sit in a box and have beetles poured on me). In the grand scheme, I hope that I can be purchased out of any fears. That's because my biggest fear is homelessness, and getting paid to deal with my other fears thus takes care of the biggest fear of all.
Then we have the concept of time vs. money. I was once offered $50 to drink a whole carton of KFC gravy. I actually love KFC gravy, I'll chug that crap over a milkshake any day. My problem was when I did the math of how many calories were in there, and how long it would take on the elliptical to burn it off, it came down to like $15/hour. Which just wasn't worth it to me at that point. I could easily work at In N Out and make that (well...$12 anyway).
The other day I was listening to the radio and some chicks called up saying how they saw an ad on Craigslist for a dude who wanted a chick to show up and kick him in the balls as hard as possible. $250. They went, she kicked him, he handed her the money. Then he said he'd pay again if she'd do that again if he wore his boxers. She said yes. She kicked him. He paid her. Guess what he suggested next? Oh c'mon now, you'll never guess...okay I'll tell you. He then offered more dough if she'd kick him in the balls...bareback. She declined and ran out.
If some creepy dude wanted to pay me FIVE bucks to kick him in the balls I'd do it in a snap. Moron should have just gotten fresh with a chick in a bar, he would have saved a few hundred bucks. Now would I have agreed to kick a dude in the balls if he were naked? No, but I also wouldn't have shown up by myself (she had her friend in the car waiting for her...eff that. I wouldn't go in alone!). But if I could convince a fearless/strong/fighter dude to show up with me for $100, then hellz yeah I would have kicked his wrinkly balls as hard as possible (and then I would slather hand sanitizer all over the tip of my boot) for $250.
Now while I would kick a naked creepy guy in the ballsack for $250, I would NOT eat bacon for $250. I may be a horrible Muslim, but I'm still Muslim enough to not eat pork, and $250 isn't worth it for me to risk the wrath in the Hereafter. yeah. I said it. Hereafter.
However for $20 thousand...yeah I can take my chances. I'm hoping God would understand a filthy dirty animal is worth the consumption if it pays off your car and can get you refinished kitchen cabinets.
Hmmm, I think I need to revisit this concept a bit more...maybe I can get a side gig by doing retarded things for the dough. The hamster in my head is spinning in his wheel....
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Most annoying commercial of March 2009
I swear to GOD my brain wants to explode when I see this commercial. Here's all the reasons why this commercial chafes my hide:
1. The way the dude repeats "take your top off". It's so ANNOYING. The intonation, the pitch, his expression, everything about it makes my blood boil from 0 to 100 in no time flat.
2. Their faux-laughing moment. "Ohhh haha I get it, take your STEAM POT off, you silly goose you!"...you can tell the director yelled "ready, set, LAUGH!"
3. WHAT is with that horrible tie-dyed-peace-logo hippie shirt at the beginning? And why is on a guy who's in his 20s? I'm so confused. I don't understand. Did his grandma buy that shirt? Can he only afford Goodwill and Joe's Crab Shack? And is he the waiter? Or do you carry your own steam pot if you have bad attire?
4. Is Joe's Crab Shack like a ride at Universal? Do they take your picture when you get the big food reveal? Is it $8, or 2 for $15?
1. The way the dude repeats "take your top off". It's so ANNOYING. The intonation, the pitch, his expression, everything about it makes my blood boil from 0 to 100 in no time flat.
2. Their faux-laughing moment. "Ohhh haha I get it, take your STEAM POT off, you silly goose you!"...you can tell the director yelled "ready, set, LAUGH!"
3. WHAT is with that horrible tie-dyed-peace-logo hippie shirt at the beginning? And why is on a guy who's in his 20s? I'm so confused. I don't understand. Did his grandma buy that shirt? Can he only afford Goodwill and Joe's Crab Shack? And is he the waiter? Or do you carry your own steam pot if you have bad attire?
4. Is Joe's Crab Shack like a ride at Universal? Do they take your picture when you get the big food reveal? Is it $8, or 2 for $15?
Why does getting old suck balls?
Just as I've come to terms with the glaring grey hair that I see on the left side of my head when I hunt it down in the mirror, I've been experiencing another human body wonder: Blepharospasm.
Aka, uncontrollable eye twitching. Which leads me to wonder, why anyone would want to control eye twitching. The past 3 days my left eye (linked to the grey hair perhaps? That f*cker is causing me all sorts of problems) keeps twitching, and it's freaking me the eff out.
Apparently it's tied to stress, fatigue, and caffeine.
Well I've reduced my caffeine, so it can't be that. However the catch-22 is that that's of course going to lead to fatigue.
So i'm going to blame it on stress. I'm definitely much more stressed than usual, but not to the extent where my body should start experiencing UNCONTROLLABLE EYE TWITCHING WHAT THE EFF!
Should go away in a week. Allegedly. According to the internet. Why doesn't the internet come with a guarantee of credibility?! Gahhhhh!
Aka, uncontrollable eye twitching. Which leads me to wonder, why anyone would want to control eye twitching. The past 3 days my left eye (linked to the grey hair perhaps? That f*cker is causing me all sorts of problems) keeps twitching, and it's freaking me the eff out.
Apparently it's tied to stress, fatigue, and caffeine.
Well I've reduced my caffeine, so it can't be that. However the catch-22 is that that's of course going to lead to fatigue.
So i'm going to blame it on stress. I'm definitely much more stressed than usual, but not to the extent where my body should start experiencing UNCONTROLLABLE EYE TWITCHING WHAT THE EFF!
Should go away in a week. Allegedly. According to the internet. Why doesn't the internet come with a guarantee of credibility?! Gahhhhh!
Grey matter keeps on churnin'
As much as I hate to admit this, gasp, I'm still learning. I'm not all-knowing. I'm not the wise genius that you all probably think that I am. I know, I know...I probably should have warned you to sit down first. I know. So a few things that have seeped into my grey matter:
1. "Fade" is another word for "drunk".
2. Experion no longer allows consumers to buy their credit score. So businesses can use it to determine if you're elligible for crap, but you can't find out in advance. At best, you can get a copy of it when businesses run your credit check. This blows my mind, I seriously think the whole thing is shady (like if they f*ck up, and i get stuck with a crappier loan and later would have to pay to refinance again once the mistake is made, THEY should be accountable for that).
3. Patience is just not my thing. I can say i'm patient...I am not. I should just own it, rock it, and be done with it.
4. Hungarian Paprika is NOT the same as regular paprika. It should be called "Paprika on Steroids".
5. If you don't have a wine fridge, you can store white wine in your regular fridge, but red wine you should just pop in the fridge before you serve it.
6. Lasers do NOT fix everything. They don't fix really bad scars that will turn white. Which is fine for 99% of the population that i'm around, but being half brown that poses a big, big problem.
7. Kickball is surprisingly harder than it looks.
8. Strawberry-rhubarb pie is not easy to find in orange county.
9. Synthetic oil is better for your car than...well whatever hell else you normally get with an oil change. it's worth the extra $20.
10. For all my impatience and bitchiness, I don't really give a crap about Octomom. I think she's got alot of nerve to want help paying for her Masters degree since I can't afford to go out and get my own, but I really don't give a crap about her, her whacked out doctor, or her bizarro lips. There's alot more issues I have with where my tax dollars go than to her...i can handle the 10 cents a paycheck if it pays for a lifetime of seeing her 8-fetus-belly forever on the internet.
11. It's very, very easy to let time fly and become a bad friend without realizing it. I owe so many people emails, cards, you name it. My apologies to the peanut gallery...my mind has been elsewhere the past few months. No excuse, but rather, an explanation.
12. How we view ourselves in highschool seems to carry over into the adult world...if you felt like a nerd in highschool, you still feel that way now. Its kind of crazy because i get compliments now that i never, ever got in highschool/college but they're very hard to accept because conventional thinking is that things were better/looked better when we were young. But then again...I look at J Lo in her Fly Girl era vs. her...well her "hey my name is J Lo" era. Even Angelina looked better in Mr & Mrs Smith than she did in Hackers (granted, she also had a nose job. but either way, girl is looking ROUGH now).
13. What matters in your potential life partner at 20 is different than at 30. I wonder if it'll be different at 40. Hopefully at 20 you're mature enough to have foresight to what you MIGHT want at 30. Hotness matters at 20. Good job and stability matters at 30.
14. The wedding industry has changed ALOT in the 6 years since I got married. The bar has been raised big time.
15. There comes a point in your life where you have to accept that you aren't as low-maintenance as you think you are. Unless you've been slumming it the same way you did in your early 20s, there's no way in your 30s you're actually okay living a lower quality of life. We all like to think that it's an option, that we could totally suck it up if we had to...um yeah time to wake up sistah. Once you've been in the working world for a good number of years (REAL working world, i.e. post-university, not post-McDonald's), you can't function without things that have become regular-yet-luxury staples, like department store foundation (Cover Girl? F*ck that orange crap!) or Woolite.
16. I am much more addicted to tv than even I'm willing to admit, and I admit that i watch ridiculous amounts. I straight up just need a DVR hooked up to an IV.
1. "Fade" is another word for "drunk".
2. Experion no longer allows consumers to buy their credit score. So businesses can use it to determine if you're elligible for crap, but you can't find out in advance. At best, you can get a copy of it when businesses run your credit check. This blows my mind, I seriously think the whole thing is shady (like if they f*ck up, and i get stuck with a crappier loan and later would have to pay to refinance again once the mistake is made, THEY should be accountable for that).
3. Patience is just not my thing. I can say i'm patient...I am not. I should just own it, rock it, and be done with it.
4. Hungarian Paprika is NOT the same as regular paprika. It should be called "Paprika on Steroids".
5. If you don't have a wine fridge, you can store white wine in your regular fridge, but red wine you should just pop in the fridge before you serve it.
6. Lasers do NOT fix everything. They don't fix really bad scars that will turn white. Which is fine for 99% of the population that i'm around, but being half brown that poses a big, big problem.
7. Kickball is surprisingly harder than it looks.
8. Strawberry-rhubarb pie is not easy to find in orange county.
9. Synthetic oil is better for your car than...well whatever hell else you normally get with an oil change. it's worth the extra $20.
10. For all my impatience and bitchiness, I don't really give a crap about Octomom. I think she's got alot of nerve to want help paying for her Masters degree since I can't afford to go out and get my own, but I really don't give a crap about her, her whacked out doctor, or her bizarro lips. There's alot more issues I have with where my tax dollars go than to her...i can handle the 10 cents a paycheck if it pays for a lifetime of seeing her 8-fetus-belly forever on the internet.
11. It's very, very easy to let time fly and become a bad friend without realizing it. I owe so many people emails, cards, you name it. My apologies to the peanut gallery...my mind has been elsewhere the past few months. No excuse, but rather, an explanation.
12. How we view ourselves in highschool seems to carry over into the adult world...if you felt like a nerd in highschool, you still feel that way now. Its kind of crazy because i get compliments now that i never, ever got in highschool/college but they're very hard to accept because conventional thinking is that things were better/looked better when we were young. But then again...I look at J Lo in her Fly Girl era vs. her...well her "hey my name is J Lo" era. Even Angelina looked better in Mr & Mrs Smith than she did in Hackers (granted, she also had a nose job. but either way, girl is looking ROUGH now).
13. What matters in your potential life partner at 20 is different than at 30. I wonder if it'll be different at 40. Hopefully at 20 you're mature enough to have foresight to what you MIGHT want at 30. Hotness matters at 20. Good job and stability matters at 30.
14. The wedding industry has changed ALOT in the 6 years since I got married. The bar has been raised big time.
15. There comes a point in your life where you have to accept that you aren't as low-maintenance as you think you are. Unless you've been slumming it the same way you did in your early 20s, there's no way in your 30s you're actually okay living a lower quality of life. We all like to think that it's an option, that we could totally suck it up if we had to...um yeah time to wake up sistah. Once you've been in the working world for a good number of years (REAL working world, i.e. post-university, not post-McDonald's), you can't function without things that have become regular-yet-luxury staples, like department store foundation (Cover Girl? F*ck that orange crap!) or Woolite.
16. I am much more addicted to tv than even I'm willing to admit, and I admit that i watch ridiculous amounts. I straight up just need a DVR hooked up to an IV.
Friday, February 13, 2009
My favorite love story for modern times
This is quite possibly the best love story ever:
Boy Photoshops Girl: A Flickr Love Story
In a nutshell: a chick in England and a dude from the states meet on Flickr when they notice their pics are similar...then they start a collaboration project where she photographs herself, emails it to him, and he tweeks it to make it look like they're in the pic together. Like crazy stuff where he's holding her, etc.
And then they finally met. True love yo!
They actually have their own company even though they don't live in the same country (she has to finish up school), Aaraon and Rosie Fotography ARF. This would make me question the tax ramifications, but i guess in a global economy you figure it out. And that's not the point, but leave it to me to read a love story and think "how does that work for taxes and claiming your income?"
I guess there's alot of cynics out there, but here's why I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant love stories I've ever head of:
1. It was a fluke they ever met.
Do you know how many people are on Flickr? What are the odds of two people connecting on that level? I could write say 100 guys on Flickr, and I guarantee NONE of them would ever be my type, be interested in what i'm interested in, or want to do any project with me (where I wouldn't end up being murdered, robbed, or pimped out).
2. They live an ocean apart
Nothing speaks love like distance. Okay well maybe not, but if you can still grow some sort of bond while having little or no physical contact, that speaks incredible volumes. Now realistically, I'm sure they were off dating other people and what not...but clearly something was growing between them. She probably got all giggly when posing for pictures, he got all giddy in anticipation of her reaction once he posted the final result, hoping for her approval.
3. They're goodlooking
You wanna argue with me that that's not part of this love story? Suck my balls. That's part of the fantasy part of it...they are photo-friendly, which is a necessary part of their appeal since their love is THROUGH photos. If they were ugly mofos, people wouldn't have been interested, they wouldn't have continued their collaboration, they wouldn't have gotten the funds to continue their business, so on and so forth.
4. They're real...and they're nerdy
This is a love story for modern times. This isn't chivalry, some dude fighting for the love of his woman, a story of strife...it's real. Just two people who pursued their hobby, their inner geeks, and as a result built a bond. It makes anyone think "Wow...that could be me!"
(Granted...this is the exception, not the rule. For more info, see My blog entry on HJNTIY
5. They're not trying to make a buck
At least, according to the article. They're hocking their business of photo-editing, but you can't buy their prints straight off the site (from my search anyway). It just seems like they truly are passionate for what they do, which is what brought them together. Nothing shady.
6. It makes you believe
Okay, maybe I'm a sucker. yeah, I admit it. i'm a sucker for love. I'm a sucker for all things Disney. i'm a sucker when I watch Love Actually and the music roars at the end as Collin Firth goes to propose to Aurelia with the town following him, or Mark telling on paper to Keira Knightley that she's perfect and he's wasted heart will love her till she gets all wrinkly/nasty...i'm a SUCKER. I want to BELIEVE. I really do. This story...makes you believe.
And that's as sappy as you're going to get from me.
Boy Photoshops Girl: A Flickr Love Story
In a nutshell: a chick in England and a dude from the states meet on Flickr when they notice their pics are similar...then they start a collaboration project where she photographs herself, emails it to him, and he tweeks it to make it look like they're in the pic together. Like crazy stuff where he's holding her, etc.
And then they finally met. True love yo!
They actually have their own company even though they don't live in the same country (she has to finish up school), Aaraon and Rosie Fotography ARF. This would make me question the tax ramifications, but i guess in a global economy you figure it out. And that's not the point, but leave it to me to read a love story and think "how does that work for taxes and claiming your income?"
I guess there's alot of cynics out there, but here's why I think this is quite possibly one of the most brilliant love stories I've ever head of:
1. It was a fluke they ever met.
Do you know how many people are on Flickr? What are the odds of two people connecting on that level? I could write say 100 guys on Flickr, and I guarantee NONE of them would ever be my type, be interested in what i'm interested in, or want to do any project with me (where I wouldn't end up being murdered, robbed, or pimped out).
2. They live an ocean apart
Nothing speaks love like distance. Okay well maybe not, but if you can still grow some sort of bond while having little or no physical contact, that speaks incredible volumes. Now realistically, I'm sure they were off dating other people and what not...but clearly something was growing between them. She probably got all giggly when posing for pictures, he got all giddy in anticipation of her reaction once he posted the final result, hoping for her approval.
3. They're goodlooking
You wanna argue with me that that's not part of this love story? Suck my balls. That's part of the fantasy part of it...they are photo-friendly, which is a necessary part of their appeal since their love is THROUGH photos. If they were ugly mofos, people wouldn't have been interested, they wouldn't have continued their collaboration, they wouldn't have gotten the funds to continue their business, so on and so forth.
4. They're real...and they're nerdy
This is a love story for modern times. This isn't chivalry, some dude fighting for the love of his woman, a story of strife...it's real. Just two people who pursued their hobby, their inner geeks, and as a result built a bond. It makes anyone think "Wow...that could be me!"
(Granted...this is the exception, not the rule. For more info, see My blog entry on HJNTIY
5. They're not trying to make a buck
At least, according to the article. They're hocking their business of photo-editing, but you can't buy their prints straight off the site (from my search anyway). It just seems like they truly are passionate for what they do, which is what brought them together. Nothing shady.
6. It makes you believe
Okay, maybe I'm a sucker. yeah, I admit it. i'm a sucker for love. I'm a sucker for all things Disney. i'm a sucker when I watch Love Actually and the music roars at the end as Collin Firth goes to propose to Aurelia with the town following him, or Mark telling on paper to Keira Knightley that she's perfect and he's wasted heart will love her till she gets all wrinkly/nasty...i'm a SUCKER. I want to BELIEVE. I really do. This story...makes you believe.
And that's as sappy as you're going to get from me.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
In defense of Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day...my opinion (and really...the only opinion that matters!)
It seems like Valentine's Day is massive hot topic button.
No, not this type of Hot Topic
Naturally the tendency is to like Valentine's Day only when you're in a relationship. Which makes sense...it's all about love, sex, and the other warm fuzzy stuff. A whole day to celebrate your LOVE, oh golly gee, what could be better...
And if you're single, then either you just treat it like a neutral day or you vehemently oppose anything related to all things reminding you that you're NOT in a relationship.
I'm here to argue in defense of Valentine's Day. Yes...me...the girl who'd rather stab her eyes out than deal with Christmas and every other pagan holiday.
I get the rationale of "why do you need a day to tell you to get flowers, you should be doing that anyway blah blah". Yes, which is true when it comes to the materialistic side of it...the same with Christmas as well. Some things are just common sense: don't buy roses on valentine's day. Yes, they are overpriced. It's not the stores' fault. I worked in a flower shop (Bryan: Select Roses on 10th line if you remember!), it's the suppliers in south america who jack it up, and thus the retail stores have to do the same.
But as great as it is to think of the utopic situation where out of the blue you get roses, jewelry, whatever, some dudes/couples need a little help. Let me put this in perspective:
Kraig bought a timeshare before i met him. Trust me, it's the worst purchase a person can make. It's the only property that goes DOWN in value right off the bat. Anyway you can "deposit" it and exchange your week for weeks elsewhere but there's a deadline (hence the word "time" in "timeshare"). I can truly say that without those deadlines, we never ever would have vacationed anywhere. It's easy to say "someday we'll go to X place" but with vacation time, schedules, money, time just flies by and you realize it's been years since you've gone anywhere for more than just a 3 day weekend. It was fantastic to be FORCED to take a vacation and be guilt-free about it (for those of us that have guilt over taking time off of errands and other To-Dos).
Valentine's Day is nice because you don't NEED an excuse to have to take the time off. To tell people you are busy. To revel in your love. To have a day where you specifically think "damn...i LOVE this guy/girl." To have a set scheduled day where damn right, you're getting laid. To find a card that expresses everything you feel if you're not a fantastic writer yourself (you don't get the same concentration of cards focused on love any other day of the year...and those are people PAID to write about love. For $4, if it gets the point across that youc an't the rest of the year, that's a good investment).
I'll admit, I'm a little biased. Valentine's Day is a chick holiday with a focus on jewelry and chocolate (i'll subtract the flowers...as much as I like them, I've been quite scarred by the flower shop job. I like the IDEA of flowers and i'm a little picky based on the cleanup factor later..stargazer lillies are AWFUL, MESSY, and a PAIN IN THE ASS to dispose of.)
Okay, so for single people, there's a whole other slew of arguments in favor of it. Nothing bonds women better than bitching about men and consuming chocolate. Much like Valentine's Day is a great excuse for couples to get together, the same applies to chicks and their girlfriends on Vday.
I've told this story a billion times but I'll say it again: my best Valentine's Day was not with a guy...it was when I was single for the first time in a few years and my friend Christine brought a carnation to work for me, saying she knew it would be a bit rough on me since it was my first Vday experience singlehood. It was the sweetest gift ever: it's one thing when your boyfriend gives you a flower on Vday, it's another when your friend who has no obligation to get you something still remembers you.
I guess my point is: it's about Love, in all shapes and forms. Whether its friends or your significant other. Christmas is about traditions and buying crap, St Patrick's Day is about drinking, July 4th is about USA...a day filled with Love, in any form, sounds pretty damn good to me.
(no matter how bitter or upset I may be on that day)
It seems like Valentine's Day is massive hot topic button.
No, not this type of Hot Topic
Naturally the tendency is to like Valentine's Day only when you're in a relationship. Which makes sense...it's all about love, sex, and the other warm fuzzy stuff. A whole day to celebrate your LOVE, oh golly gee, what could be better...
And if you're single, then either you just treat it like a neutral day or you vehemently oppose anything related to all things reminding you that you're NOT in a relationship.
I'm here to argue in defense of Valentine's Day. Yes...me...the girl who'd rather stab her eyes out than deal with Christmas and every other pagan holiday.
I get the rationale of "why do you need a day to tell you to get flowers, you should be doing that anyway blah blah". Yes, which is true when it comes to the materialistic side of it...the same with Christmas as well. Some things are just common sense: don't buy roses on valentine's day. Yes, they are overpriced. It's not the stores' fault. I worked in a flower shop (Bryan: Select Roses on 10th line if you remember!), it's the suppliers in south america who jack it up, and thus the retail stores have to do the same.
But as great as it is to think of the utopic situation where out of the blue you get roses, jewelry, whatever, some dudes/couples need a little help. Let me put this in perspective:
Kraig bought a timeshare before i met him. Trust me, it's the worst purchase a person can make. It's the only property that goes DOWN in value right off the bat. Anyway you can "deposit" it and exchange your week for weeks elsewhere but there's a deadline (hence the word "time" in "timeshare"). I can truly say that without those deadlines, we never ever would have vacationed anywhere. It's easy to say "someday we'll go to X place" but with vacation time, schedules, money, time just flies by and you realize it's been years since you've gone anywhere for more than just a 3 day weekend. It was fantastic to be FORCED to take a vacation and be guilt-free about it (for those of us that have guilt over taking time off of errands and other To-Dos).
Valentine's Day is nice because you don't NEED an excuse to have to take the time off. To tell people you are busy. To revel in your love. To have a day where you specifically think "damn...i LOVE this guy/girl." To have a set scheduled day where damn right, you're getting laid. To find a card that expresses everything you feel if you're not a fantastic writer yourself (you don't get the same concentration of cards focused on love any other day of the year...and those are people PAID to write about love. For $4, if it gets the point across that youc an't the rest of the year, that's a good investment).
I'll admit, I'm a little biased. Valentine's Day is a chick holiday with a focus on jewelry and chocolate (i'll subtract the flowers...as much as I like them, I've been quite scarred by the flower shop job. I like the IDEA of flowers and i'm a little picky based on the cleanup factor later..stargazer lillies are AWFUL, MESSY, and a PAIN IN THE ASS to dispose of.)
Okay, so for single people, there's a whole other slew of arguments in favor of it. Nothing bonds women better than bitching about men and consuming chocolate. Much like Valentine's Day is a great excuse for couples to get together, the same applies to chicks and their girlfriends on Vday.
I've told this story a billion times but I'll say it again: my best Valentine's Day was not with a guy...it was when I was single for the first time in a few years and my friend Christine brought a carnation to work for me, saying she knew it would be a bit rough on me since it was my first Vday experience singlehood. It was the sweetest gift ever: it's one thing when your boyfriend gives you a flower on Vday, it's another when your friend who has no obligation to get you something still remembers you.
I guess my point is: it's about Love, in all shapes and forms. Whether its friends or your significant other. Christmas is about traditions and buying crap, St Patrick's Day is about drinking, July 4th is about USA...a day filled with Love, in any form, sounds pretty damn good to me.
(no matter how bitter or upset I may be on that day)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Inspirational. No really.
I wish I could buy this and hang it in my entryway. If i had an entryway. it's more like a small little area to take your shoes off. Anyway:
Sunday, February 08, 2009
He's Just Not That Into You
If you're a female and you have a pulse, then you read He's Just Not That Into You when it first came out.
It seemed a little odd to have a self-help book be turned into a movie, but whatever...Greg Bernhardt is a sellout douchebag so it seems it would be fitting. And it seemed fitting that all the best scenes were probably shown in previews.
I am happy to say, I was proved wrong. This movie kicks ass. Minus the stupid cameo with Greg as a wedding minister. What the eff. Damn he's such a tool. Can someone PLEASE tell him to shave that dead thing off his chin?
Seriously hate facial hair, especially ones that look like a small rodent is growing
The premise is pretty easy...take the lessons in the book, then show scenes from people's lives that illustrate the point.
It's been years since I read it, but DAMN if you aren't reminded of previous dates/boyfriends/flings/manfriends/relationships/whatever when you watch this movie. One brilliant point: you are the RULE, not the EXCEPTION.
Everyone has a story about a couple who met in some bizarro way. Or a chick who married a guy after he brushed her off for a year. Or how the guy really DID go out of town, lose her number, but found her and married her. Those are the EXCEPTIONS.
WE ARE NOT EXCEPTIONS.
WE ARE THE RULE. And the rule says that in general, those jackass things don't turn into great moments of romance.
On another note, Jennifer Aniston still proves that she will forever be Rachel. This is just Rachel older and dating Ben Affleck.
Ginnifer Goodwin gives a fantastic performance as Gigi, the girl who f*cks up everything.
And damn, I hated Scarlett Johansson before...I hate her even more now. The lesson of her story is: don't be a frickin' whore or you'll end up alone.
When I read the book, I remember thinking back to two guys I dated...and yes, even *I* the all-knowing girl wonder that I am even made excuses for them.
One was a dude who I met when I was in university. Damn, I don't remember his name but I know he had shingles the summer before and he thought Carmen Electra (who had just been discovered) was super hot. His dad was a cop and he used to get mad when tv shows depicted blood as red since it dries to brown in real life. We had a fantastic date, he was enamored with me, blah blah. Then we had a few more dates, and it was all that magical pot-of-gold-unicorns-rainbow crap. Then suddenly...he went MIA. And i got the excuse that he was traveling for volleyball. Then stuff about hanging out with an ex-girlfriend. But stupid me kept calling him...i didn't understand how we could have these awesome dates and suddenly he would pull away. Well moron, he hinted in not so many words that he was pining for his ex-girlfriend. And i'm sure when she got wind of him dating someone new, she "suddenly remembered" that he was the one for her. And then he was....no longer into me.
The other dude I don't think I even knew his last name. He drove a mustang, so my friends and I called him Adam Mustang. On our date, he ran into someone he knew. Guess who wasn't even introduced on the date? Guess who just sat there like an IDIOT while he chatted with this other dude for like half an hour (i am NOT exaggerating. It was horrible). What a f*cking moron...i looked cute. I WAS CUTE. Anyway after the horrible date, of course I didnt' hear from him. But being the idiot that I was...I called him a few times. Left some VMs. It was blazingly obvious: a guy who likes a girl will NOT be distracted for 30 mins on a date...especially a first date, and especially not distracted by some MALE buddy (i think it was a coworker....he wasn't gay :P).
Finally when I wrote him off...a few months later, he called ME. I think I was dating somoene else by then so I gave him the brush off, but in hindsight it was sooooo very clear he wanted a bootycall. (For the record: we had never slept together, or even got past a kiss...which I think is part of the "problem"...i think he thought he would score that night. Only to discover that a) not my style, and b) i lived with my parents). No one was any less into me than Adam Mustang, but I was too much of a stupid girl to realize that.
This should be required reading for girls in highschool. I'd say elementary school, but there's alot of sex talk in the book.
Oh and on another note: this whole schpiel of telling little girls that if a boy is mean to you it's because he likes you is BULL CRAP. If a boy is mean to you he's an abusive d1ck and if he pulls your hair, you should whack him in the nuts. No boy should ever be allowed to be controlling, verbally/emotionally/whatever abusive, and should certainly not make a girl be led to believe that he's treating her right when he so clearly is not.
Yes, indeed, it's just Rachel all over again.
It seemed a little odd to have a self-help book be turned into a movie, but whatever...Greg Bernhardt is a sellout douchebag so it seems it would be fitting. And it seemed fitting that all the best scenes were probably shown in previews.
I am happy to say, I was proved wrong. This movie kicks ass. Minus the stupid cameo with Greg as a wedding minister. What the eff. Damn he's such a tool. Can someone PLEASE tell him to shave that dead thing off his chin?
Seriously hate facial hair, especially ones that look like a small rodent is growing
The premise is pretty easy...take the lessons in the book, then show scenes from people's lives that illustrate the point.
It's been years since I read it, but DAMN if you aren't reminded of previous dates/boyfriends/flings/manfriends/relationships/whatever when you watch this movie. One brilliant point: you are the RULE, not the EXCEPTION.
Everyone has a story about a couple who met in some bizarro way. Or a chick who married a guy after he brushed her off for a year. Or how the guy really DID go out of town, lose her number, but found her and married her. Those are the EXCEPTIONS.
WE ARE NOT EXCEPTIONS.
WE ARE THE RULE. And the rule says that in general, those jackass things don't turn into great moments of romance.
On another note, Jennifer Aniston still proves that she will forever be Rachel. This is just Rachel older and dating Ben Affleck.
Ginnifer Goodwin gives a fantastic performance as Gigi, the girl who f*cks up everything.
And damn, I hated Scarlett Johansson before...I hate her even more now. The lesson of her story is: don't be a frickin' whore or you'll end up alone.
When I read the book, I remember thinking back to two guys I dated...and yes, even *I* the all-knowing girl wonder that I am even made excuses for them.
One was a dude who I met when I was in university. Damn, I don't remember his name but I know he had shingles the summer before and he thought Carmen Electra (who had just been discovered) was super hot. His dad was a cop and he used to get mad when tv shows depicted blood as red since it dries to brown in real life. We had a fantastic date, he was enamored with me, blah blah. Then we had a few more dates, and it was all that magical pot-of-gold-unicorns-rainbow crap. Then suddenly...he went MIA. And i got the excuse that he was traveling for volleyball. Then stuff about hanging out with an ex-girlfriend. But stupid me kept calling him...i didn't understand how we could have these awesome dates and suddenly he would pull away. Well moron, he hinted in not so many words that he was pining for his ex-girlfriend. And i'm sure when she got wind of him dating someone new, she "suddenly remembered" that he was the one for her. And then he was....no longer into me.
The other dude I don't think I even knew his last name. He drove a mustang, so my friends and I called him Adam Mustang. On our date, he ran into someone he knew. Guess who wasn't even introduced on the date? Guess who just sat there like an IDIOT while he chatted with this other dude for like half an hour (i am NOT exaggerating. It was horrible). What a f*cking moron...i looked cute. I WAS CUTE. Anyway after the horrible date, of course I didnt' hear from him. But being the idiot that I was...I called him a few times. Left some VMs. It was blazingly obvious: a guy who likes a girl will NOT be distracted for 30 mins on a date...especially a first date, and especially not distracted by some MALE buddy (i think it was a coworker....he wasn't gay :P).
Finally when I wrote him off...a few months later, he called ME. I think I was dating somoene else by then so I gave him the brush off, but in hindsight it was sooooo very clear he wanted a bootycall. (For the record: we had never slept together, or even got past a kiss...which I think is part of the "problem"...i think he thought he would score that night. Only to discover that a) not my style, and b) i lived with my parents). No one was any less into me than Adam Mustang, but I was too much of a stupid girl to realize that.
This should be required reading for girls in highschool. I'd say elementary school, but there's alot of sex talk in the book.
Oh and on another note: this whole schpiel of telling little girls that if a boy is mean to you it's because he likes you is BULL CRAP. If a boy is mean to you he's an abusive d1ck and if he pulls your hair, you should whack him in the nuts. No boy should ever be allowed to be controlling, verbally/emotionally/whatever abusive, and should certainly not make a girl be led to believe that he's treating her right when he so clearly is not.
Yes, indeed, it's just Rachel all over again.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Things worth hating
Things I hate...loathe...heavily dislike...annoy me (in no particular order):
1. Rihanna. I'll tolerate "Umbrella" 'cause it's semi-fun to sing when driving, and the video for "Disturbia" is interesting, but her voice sounds like a dying goat. I love T.I., but I'd rather shove a pen in my ear than listen to their "Live Your Life" song. Adult contemporary drives me berserk.
2. To add, I also hate Jason Mraz, Eagle Eye Cherry, Coldplay, Incubus, John Mayer, Akon, L'il Wayne, Lady GaGa, and that stupid STUPID "paper planes" song.
3. So disappointed, Target was out of my favorite mascara (Unstoppable in Very Black) so I just grabbed Define-A-Lash Volume Waterproof Mascara (in...Very Black)...it effing SUCKS. And i didn't feel like raising a fuss to Target about returning bad $4 mascara, especially since I still really needed it. I'm just saying, the bristles are weird plasticky things and they just make my eyelashes clump Tammy Faye-style.
4. I loathe people showing me hundreds of pictures of the same damn thing. I don't care if it's nature, you standing in the same city, a baby, whatever. Pretend you have 24 exposures and that's ALL you get to show me.
5. Grey's Anatomy. I can't stand listening to people TALK about Grey's Anatomy. I even tried to watch Private Practice just to stick it to the Grey's Anatomy people. Really, I just can't stand the Grey chick. Since the show is named after her, she's not going anywhere anytime soon. She's so frickin' ANNOYING.
6. To all cashiers of the world: scan my credit card, THEN bag my stuff. If i'm at Old Navy buying a billion pairs of jeans it's heavily inefficient to fold and bag everything only to have us stand and wait for the card to be approved. LEARN TO DO THINGS IN PARALLEL PEOPLE.
7. I hate when people flick their cigarettes out the window...when I'm the car behind them. In fact, I'm going to channel what Erin and I used to say in highschool: driving and smoking is tacky. Throwing them out the window is tacky. It was true 15 years ago, and its still true now.
8. Speaking of smokers, I've had my arms burned a billion times from smokers not paying attention. Okay, I get it, you're drinking and got sloppy. But when someone yelps and a welt is forming, don't do a "oh...sorry"...dumbass you BURNED MY F*CKING ARM. I once had a scar for almost 2 years because of a biotch and her nasty cigarette and all I got was a one second apology (to those in the know: it was at Au Zone). Makes me want to rip their nastiness out of their hands and cram it in their eyes...yeahhh hurts now doesn't it you mofo...
9. I hate when guys act like they thing they're being cute when they're not. There was a dude this weekend who was all over one of my friends (who shall remain nameless), but he thought was so charming by doing all of the following:
- repeatedly lying about what he did for a living...ummm women don't "do" guessing games. Just tell us if you have a job and arent' living in a cardboard box
- kept dicking around with the camera when all of us girls got together for a pic...it's hard enough to get a group shot. Don't try to tilt the camera, do weird angles, whatever.
All of that is attention-seeking behavior in a bad way. It's childish. Women do NOT like men who exhibit any childlike "look at me, pay attention to me" behaviors.
10. Speaking of dude from #9, men need to stop assuming women don't know sh*t about computers. "Do you know what a server is?"...yeah mofo, and I bet I can set one up in a network faster than you can. Shut yer pie hole.
(yeah, i'm in a bad mood today)
11. I loathe buying tampons. If women ruled the world, you KNOW that crap would be a tax-write off. It's a medical condition! it's not my fault I'm bleeding without death once a month. If insurance covers Viagra, then it should cover tampons.
12. Organic anything. Laws are super lax about what constitutes "organic", so it's not like you're really going to notice a difference. Something about seeing a box of ORGANIC CHOCOLATE makes my blood boil. Chocolate is cocoa and sugar boiled together with some nuts tossed in. Organic won't make it any healthier or taste better. It's retarded.
13. Margaritas. Yeah. I said it. I can't stand margaritas. Tequila straight up = GOOD. Tequila mixed with stuff = nastiness. Maybe it also helps that that stupid Margaritaville place was just annoying (granted, the company was good...Kraig, Christine, and Noel). Oh woo hoo, we made a Slurpee machine full of tequila and green sugary crap and it overflows once every 20 minutes...SHOCKING!
virgin lime daiquiris however kick ass
14. A Slurpee trumps everything else. A Slurpee is NOT a Slushee. A Slurpee is NOT a Hush Puppy. In fact, those stupid Hush Puppy drinks are nothing more than what Shave Ice is: crushed ice with syrup poured over it. How is that not vile to people? A Slurpee starts off as a flavored beverage, THEN frozen.
I miss Diet Coke slurpees, sigh.
The best combo is Orange Crush mixed with Cream Soda (you know, the pink stuff)...sooo sooo good. Last time I saw it was at the Quickie next to my parents' house (Bryan, do a drive by of the one in Orleans and lemme know if they still have it)
15. Fake nails. Yeah, you know who you are with your faux nails and the french manicure. I understand if you have a special occasion and can't grow your nails out to look good in pics (i.e. a wedding day...that's the ONLY reason). The sound of fake nails against a keyboard is like a fork on a chalkboard. And they're OVERTLY fake...they're not like fake boobs, where even if they're overtly fake you can rock them and look good. No, big white-tipped fake nails serve no purpose other than to draw attention to the fact that you can't maintain a regular beauty regime.
I have the weakest nails on the planet from years of nail biting, but if I can grow them out and make them look good, then there's no excuse.
16. Flip flops. Something about a shoe that only stays on because of a single piece that goes between my toes is just weird. People in Pakistan wear them all the time (even as a kid, I refused to wear them there). Do you see what i'm saying? They're 3rd world country. Do you want malaria as well?!
17. Ghetto-ass people who raise their trucks. Your stupid tires don't fit in the tire nook thingy so you have a big half meter gap between the top of the tire to your car. It's RETARDED. Where are you offroading to when you live in Orange County? Oh wait, let me guess...Glamis?! It's tacky, tacky, tacky. It's the car equivalent of wear low-wise jeans with the sides of your thongs sticking out.
'Kay...nuff ranting.
1. Rihanna. I'll tolerate "Umbrella" 'cause it's semi-fun to sing when driving, and the video for "Disturbia" is interesting, but her voice sounds like a dying goat. I love T.I., but I'd rather shove a pen in my ear than listen to their "Live Your Life" song. Adult contemporary drives me berserk.
2. To add, I also hate Jason Mraz, Eagle Eye Cherry, Coldplay, Incubus, John Mayer, Akon, L'il Wayne, Lady GaGa, and that stupid STUPID "paper planes" song.
3. So disappointed, Target was out of my favorite mascara (Unstoppable in Very Black) so I just grabbed Define-A-Lash Volume Waterproof Mascara (in...Very Black)...it effing SUCKS. And i didn't feel like raising a fuss to Target about returning bad $4 mascara, especially since I still really needed it. I'm just saying, the bristles are weird plasticky things and they just make my eyelashes clump Tammy Faye-style.
4. I loathe people showing me hundreds of pictures of the same damn thing. I don't care if it's nature, you standing in the same city, a baby, whatever. Pretend you have 24 exposures and that's ALL you get to show me.
5. Grey's Anatomy. I can't stand listening to people TALK about Grey's Anatomy. I even tried to watch Private Practice just to stick it to the Grey's Anatomy people. Really, I just can't stand the Grey chick. Since the show is named after her, she's not going anywhere anytime soon. She's so frickin' ANNOYING.
6. To all cashiers of the world: scan my credit card, THEN bag my stuff. If i'm at Old Navy buying a billion pairs of jeans it's heavily inefficient to fold and bag everything only to have us stand and wait for the card to be approved. LEARN TO DO THINGS IN PARALLEL PEOPLE.
7. I hate when people flick their cigarettes out the window...when I'm the car behind them. In fact, I'm going to channel what Erin and I used to say in highschool: driving and smoking is tacky. Throwing them out the window is tacky. It was true 15 years ago, and its still true now.
8. Speaking of smokers, I've had my arms burned a billion times from smokers not paying attention. Okay, I get it, you're drinking and got sloppy. But when someone yelps and a welt is forming, don't do a "oh...sorry"...dumbass you BURNED MY F*CKING ARM. I once had a scar for almost 2 years because of a biotch and her nasty cigarette and all I got was a one second apology (to those in the know: it was at Au Zone). Makes me want to rip their nastiness out of their hands and cram it in their eyes...yeahhh hurts now doesn't it you mofo...
9. I hate when guys act like they thing they're being cute when they're not. There was a dude this weekend who was all over one of my friends (who shall remain nameless), but he thought was so charming by doing all of the following:
- repeatedly lying about what he did for a living...ummm women don't "do" guessing games. Just tell us if you have a job and arent' living in a cardboard box
- kept dicking around with the camera when all of us girls got together for a pic...it's hard enough to get a group shot. Don't try to tilt the camera, do weird angles, whatever.
All of that is attention-seeking behavior in a bad way. It's childish. Women do NOT like men who exhibit any childlike "look at me, pay attention to me" behaviors.
10. Speaking of dude from #9, men need to stop assuming women don't know sh*t about computers. "Do you know what a server is?"...yeah mofo, and I bet I can set one up in a network faster than you can. Shut yer pie hole.
(yeah, i'm in a bad mood today)
11. I loathe buying tampons. If women ruled the world, you KNOW that crap would be a tax-write off. It's a medical condition! it's not my fault I'm bleeding without death once a month. If insurance covers Viagra, then it should cover tampons.
12. Organic anything. Laws are super lax about what constitutes "organic", so it's not like you're really going to notice a difference. Something about seeing a box of ORGANIC CHOCOLATE makes my blood boil. Chocolate is cocoa and sugar boiled together with some nuts tossed in. Organic won't make it any healthier or taste better. It's retarded.
13. Margaritas. Yeah. I said it. I can't stand margaritas. Tequila straight up = GOOD. Tequila mixed with stuff = nastiness. Maybe it also helps that that stupid Margaritaville place was just annoying (granted, the company was good...Kraig, Christine, and Noel). Oh woo hoo, we made a Slurpee machine full of tequila and green sugary crap and it overflows once every 20 minutes...SHOCKING!
virgin lime daiquiris however kick ass
14. A Slurpee trumps everything else. A Slurpee is NOT a Slushee. A Slurpee is NOT a Hush Puppy. In fact, those stupid Hush Puppy drinks are nothing more than what Shave Ice is: crushed ice with syrup poured over it. How is that not vile to people? A Slurpee starts off as a flavored beverage, THEN frozen.
I miss Diet Coke slurpees, sigh.
The best combo is Orange Crush mixed with Cream Soda (you know, the pink stuff)...sooo sooo good. Last time I saw it was at the Quickie next to my parents' house (Bryan, do a drive by of the one in Orleans and lemme know if they still have it)
15. Fake nails. Yeah, you know who you are with your faux nails and the french manicure. I understand if you have a special occasion and can't grow your nails out to look good in pics (i.e. a wedding day...that's the ONLY reason). The sound of fake nails against a keyboard is like a fork on a chalkboard. And they're OVERTLY fake...they're not like fake boobs, where even if they're overtly fake you can rock them and look good. No, big white-tipped fake nails serve no purpose other than to draw attention to the fact that you can't maintain a regular beauty regime.
I have the weakest nails on the planet from years of nail biting, but if I can grow them out and make them look good, then there's no excuse.
16. Flip flops. Something about a shoe that only stays on because of a single piece that goes between my toes is just weird. People in Pakistan wear them all the time (even as a kid, I refused to wear them there). Do you see what i'm saying? They're 3rd world country. Do you want malaria as well?!
17. Ghetto-ass people who raise their trucks. Your stupid tires don't fit in the tire nook thingy so you have a big half meter gap between the top of the tire to your car. It's RETARDED. Where are you offroading to when you live in Orange County? Oh wait, let me guess...Glamis?! It's tacky, tacky, tacky. It's the car equivalent of wear low-wise jeans with the sides of your thongs sticking out.
'Kay...nuff ranting.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Gonna be good in a depressing sad kinda way
I love Sarah Michelle Gellar. She picks some great projects (I can't even fault her for Scooby Doo...who wouldn't want to play in that movie?!). This is going to be effing amazing.
Veronika Decides to Die
Release Date: March 2009
Genre: Drama
Director: Emily Young
Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jonathan Tucker, David Thewlis, Melissa Leo, Erika Christensen
The story centers on Veronika, a woman in her mid twenties who appears to have everything: good looks, good job and a great life ahead of her. Yet she decides to end her own life. She is unsuccessful and awakens in a mental hospital where she learns that she has five days to live. We learn that the reason that she attempted suicide was that she felt so constrained by the rules and expectations of 'normal' society that she had concluded that she had experienced all that life had to offer. However in the hospital she meets people who are only 'insane' because they don't always follow society's rules. With little left to lose, Veronika embarks on a journey on which she frees herself to experience relationships and emotions and ultimately discovers what it means to live.
Veronika Decides to Die
Release Date: March 2009
Genre: Drama
Director: Emily Young
Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jonathan Tucker, David Thewlis, Melissa Leo, Erika Christensen
The story centers on Veronika, a woman in her mid twenties who appears to have everything: good looks, good job and a great life ahead of her. Yet she decides to end her own life. She is unsuccessful and awakens in a mental hospital where she learns that she has five days to live. We learn that the reason that she attempted suicide was that she felt so constrained by the rules and expectations of 'normal' society that she had concluded that she had experienced all that life had to offer. However in the hospital she meets people who are only 'insane' because they don't always follow society's rules. With little left to lose, Veronika embarks on a journey on which she frees herself to experience relationships and emotions and ultimately discovers what it means to live.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Of spandex and mosh pits
So way back a month ago, I decided it was time for me to branch out of my "comfort zone".
Which meant it was time I went to my very first goth club. Off Crenshaw.
We parked in some store parking lot and this random dude insists it's like $5 to park. Naturally I start off the night by arguing with him, saying he could be ANY random guy just asking for $5, like don't we get a ticket or something? And it doesn't say it's a paid lot! Well he threatened to tow in whatever broken English so we decided to just pay up rather than risk being stranded in the ghetto ("..innn the ghhetttooo!")
I had a complete blast, loved it, and would go back in a heartbeat (much props to Justin and Sarah for putting up with my prepster-ass). I texted a billion people during the night, fortunately Carrie saved my texts. Here's what i wrote:
This will be a blog entry…egads.
[I’m wearing red and black.]
Goth people are white. They have only white blond hair or jet black.
Goth people can’t dance worth sh1t. I’m like, a frickin’ ballet dancer next to them.
Seriously. Serrriously. Two drinks and two shot later and I’m not dr*nk and a guy with an eye patch just hit on me. What the…
There’s two hotter guys here…Sarah and I scoped them out. I think one is g@y.
Goth people like being anti-establishment by wearing lots of embellishments.
I’m dancing all hip hop in a goth club.
I dropped my lip balm.
Oh sh1t…Justin’s in a mosh pit. I haven’t seen a mosh pit in ten years. I’m so old!
Please remind me for the blog that goth bands think they know German.
This one actually really bugged me, like that night I felt I needed to represent for Austrians or something...1/2 austrian represent!
And remind me they all have Macs.
Some guy is wearing spandex, goggles, and fish fins on his back.
Remind me that goth kids put bandanas around their face like it’s the apocalypse.
Effing guy with an eye patch is all over this ish. I don’t “do” guys with one eye!
Damn, Sarah deserves an award for putting up with my ass all night!
When we got back to the car, the pseudo-attendant was still there. I guess he was legit.
Which meant it was time I went to my very first goth club. Off Crenshaw.
We parked in some store parking lot and this random dude insists it's like $5 to park. Naturally I start off the night by arguing with him, saying he could be ANY random guy just asking for $5, like don't we get a ticket or something? And it doesn't say it's a paid lot! Well he threatened to tow in whatever broken English so we decided to just pay up rather than risk being stranded in the ghetto ("..innn the ghhetttooo!")
I had a complete blast, loved it, and would go back in a heartbeat (much props to Justin and Sarah for putting up with my prepster-ass). I texted a billion people during the night, fortunately Carrie saved my texts. Here's what i wrote:
This will be a blog entry…egads.
[I’m wearing red and black.]
Goth people are white. They have only white blond hair or jet black.
Goth people can’t dance worth sh1t. I’m like, a frickin’ ballet dancer next to them.
Seriously. Serrriously. Two drinks and two shot later and I’m not dr*nk and a guy with an eye patch just hit on me. What the…
There’s two hotter guys here…Sarah and I scoped them out. I think one is g@y.
Goth people like being anti-establishment by wearing lots of embellishments.
I’m dancing all hip hop in a goth club.
I dropped my lip balm.
Oh sh1t…Justin’s in a mosh pit. I haven’t seen a mosh pit in ten years. I’m so old!
Please remind me for the blog that goth bands think they know German.
This one actually really bugged me, like that night I felt I needed to represent for Austrians or something...1/2 austrian represent!
And remind me they all have Macs.
Some guy is wearing spandex, goggles, and fish fins on his back.
Remind me that goth kids put bandanas around their face like it’s the apocalypse.
Effing guy with an eye patch is all over this ish. I don’t “do” guys with one eye!
Damn, Sarah deserves an award for putting up with my ass all night!
When we got back to the car, the pseudo-attendant was still there. I guess he was legit.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Serious random thoughts
Must purge brain or else it'll explode. In no particular order, thoughts running through my teenie grey matter:
Kah-toe-mahh-tayyy
- Must buy Nars Orgasm blush. Sarah turned me onto it...it's gorgeous gorgeous. Worth every penny. Looks good on any skin color. Even men should buy it, it's THAT good.
- Getting over a caffeine addiction is HARD. I've done it before, but damn if caffeine isn't like crack. I've never had crack, but I can only assume that the crankiness and shakes associated with withdrawals are somewhat comparable. When I don't get me some diet pepsi (yes, go ahead, say it..."what are you, French?" Suck it...Diet P is way better than Diet C), I become an uncontrollable bitch. I've allowed myself 2 sodas if I go out for lunch (one drink, one refill...that's it), and mannnnn the waitress must think I'm psychotic because I literally bounce up and down in my seat in anticipation of my drug of choice. Thankfully, Tazo Tea is my rehab drug.
- Entourage better f*cking win at the SAG awards tonight.
- Do you ever find yourself getting emotional over really retarded things? Almost losing this blog to jackass hackers completely took my breath away. I almost lost my Jackball antenna topper when my car was washed yesterday...it's old, it's filthy, and I ended up throwing it out when they found it, but I was in hysterics freaking out at Toyota to find that damn Jackball.
- I'm too lazy to use HTML to make bullets, so the indentation is all off 'cause i'm using Blogger's template. What-eva.
- Thank the Lord for Burn Notice starting up again. I have no idea if real spies do the things in this show, but I like to feel like I'm getting some insider info on how they work. Like turning a can of spray air upside down creates dry ice. I could test that theory. But I trust what Michael Weston tells me. He does no wrong.
- In the category of all things aging, I thought my freakout over turning 30 was enough to last a decade. Oh, how naive I was. That freakout lasted all of 1.5 years. The thought of turning 32 is gripping me to no end. And don't give me this "age ain't nuthin' but a numba" garbage. 32 seals the deal that you really are in your 30s, and you can't even attempt to piggyback on your 20s anymore.
- I love that at 11:30pm, Janet texted me that she saw Gretchen from Real Housewives of OC. I love that I cared. I've got no shame in my game. I'm not celebrity obsessed because I think they're great...I just love picking them apart. I may give up diet pepsi, but I will never give up my Pop Culture vice. NEVER! I want my gravestone to read: Would have won World Series of Pop Culture. (Marcella: you would have had to be on my team of course!)
- Why is it that the more children Angelina Jolie pops out, the more matronly she looks? I mean, I understand things change when you have a child but dang woman, you are still gorgeous. Your fashion choices lately are nothing more than a designer gown version of a grey sweatsuit.
- Obsession has a new name, and its called: Turkey Sandwiches.
- I don't understand why we all love Bath & Body Works. I mean, it's just SOAP people. And yet, I could shop there every minute of every day. Their stuff is cheap and it's the BEST.
Kah-toe-mahh-tayyy
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