You know, the usual blog stuff. Except that I've got WAYYYY too many thoughts, lots of griping, and complaining on life in general. Because of course...only MY opinion matters.
Carrie (re: Running Man book): heck yeah I read the book, it was awesome! Very different from the movie however, but the best part is when book-version-Arnold is crawling on the floor, his guts spilling out, then his intestines loop around some dead guy's head so he has to crawl back to unhook it and shove it back inside him....In addition to my Piers Anthony/Isaac Asimov reading phases, i was all into Stephen King (Richard Bachman), but I remember seeing Creepshow 2 and IT and those scared the crap out of me so I stopped reading his books.
I don't think you're right at all about society moving towards the absence of sexual content. Tim: You're putting words in my mouth. I don't think we're "moving" towards it, we already have. You can't possibly think we're where we were in the days of woodstock and houses where you could go specifically to bone someone else. Those things still go on, but nowhere NEAR the same levels what with the advent of AIDS and STDs...I'm not saying it'll be complete absence, at least not in our lifetimes (I mean, if in the next generation there's an STD you get just by LOOKING at gonads, then f*ck it...i'd have no problems wearing a chastity belt forever).
MARLENE YOU ROCK...yes the Gigi is what I was thinking of. Why are these things marketed towards chicks, I'll bet that Gigi thing feels way better than a frickin' blow up doll for a dude if he's a germaphobe of the future. Although what do I know, maybe these are marketed towards dudes too. Damn i can't find a pic online, there's alotta things called "gigi" on the net.
EDITED: Marcella you KICK ASS! Here's a pic:
Back to Creepshow 2...the only reason I was scared of that movie was the vignette (The Raft) of the black oil slick that would eat people on this little lake. For real, this concept scared the pulp out of me. In hindsight, not really so scary, but damn for years I just got freaked out that some big black oil slick blob was going to engulf me.
When i was still in elementary school I went through a massive nerd phase where I read books like crazy. Not that that's something new, but my parents actually threw out our TV (which I didn't tell anyone at the time, who's parents actually physically THROW OUT a tv? The only family tv? And then go years without one? My formative Saved by the Bell years were spent reading books instead of watching tv. Gee, wonder why I'm so addicted to television now? But i digress). So i went pretty fast from reading Babysitter's Club/Sweet Valley High to Piers Anthony and Isaac Asimov, I probably read more books during that non-tv time than I ever will for the rest of my life (and I'm in a book club even!).
Thanks mom and dad, for making me the socially retarded woman I am today.
I remember reading Robots of Dawn (in addition to many other books by Isaac Asimov, who's a mutha effin' sci fi badass...ummm as badass as you can be given the subject) and although i didn't get very much of the sexual references at the time, I do remember a key element in the book is that on whatever planet (Aurora?), humans don't actually interface with each other. They're total germophobes. You can see each other through holographic-type phone systems so it seems like you're there when you're not. And some chicks just bone their robots (Daneel i believe was one of them), since they're man-like anyway (nice! I approve). Funny that Isaac Asimov didn't think to reference Purell hand sanitizer anywhere in his books, i'm sure he thought of it before the stuff was actually invented.
I also recall the hero of the book actually getting to physically bone one of the chicks in the book, and the whole sex scene was written out like he was taking her on some sort of trip. Flying or something. I don't know, I didn't get it then, and I'm certainly not creative enough to figure it out now. If someone can make sex seem like I'm sitting on a beach in Hawaii drinking out of a coconut (without my husband losing his wedding ring in the ocean in Waikiki lol), let me know.
What I do remember is thinking how odd that any sexual contact was electronic, through holographic images or with robots. And now...that's what society is turning towards. Maybe because I still have that Vh1 “Sex the Revolution” series in my brain, but we are a society that has to fear herpes, AIDs, baby mama drama...and we also have immediate access to all things sex thanks to the web and Passion Parties (Marlene, wtf is the name of that jelly-ish thing with a hole in it that you guys got me for my bridal shower? For the life of me, i can't remember what it's called but it seems like now would be time for a good shout out to that doodad!).
Very much like in Isaac Asimov's worlds, you can have aseptic sex virtually with anyone in the world as long as you have a method of communication, some sort of camera device, and your own little robot (that runs on two AA batteries lol).
An interesting question was raised to me today: when you get a vasectomy, what exactly happens with the sperm? I mean, we know no sperm comes OUT, but where does it go?
So I immediately scoped out HowStuffWorks.com to get the inside info...
I guess since you're snipping the vas deferens, the little doodads that connect your nuts to your tool, you're now removing the "roads" that get the sperm to where they need to go.
But what happens to the sperm? I mean, the body still produces it, right? Aren't you just asking for permanent blue balls?
One effect of a vasectomy is that the body can actually cease to recognize its own sperm and can develop antibodies to it.
That's seriously effed up. Why are guys so messed up? Even their surgeries are gross.
And speaking of the male member, if a guy gets his man meat tattooed, does he have to do it when it's erect? Wouldn't the pain alone make it shrink back up? And if you did it when it's NOT erect, wouldn't there be gaps whenever it IS erect?
Edited to add: Spitz wrote this on my Facebook page re: this post, it's too funny to not post here: Far as the tattooing goes, I bet they stretch the skin of a flaccid wiener while they work. I'd guess maintaining a boner for 3 hours can challengiing -- especially with the needles buzzing away and the pain exploding in your brain and balls like a pinball machine.
And far as the antisperm antibodies go, the real issue isn't so much building immunological resistance to your own little guys, or even shooting blanks, but the actual procedure itself: The anesthesia is local, so you can actually HEAR when they snip the tubes, and SMELL when they cauterize them shut.
Some seriously random bitching and thoughts...leave your brain cells at the door as you read:
- has plastic surgery evolved so far that Dr. 90210 can fix my cankles?
- I finally got my stimulus check. I wasn't stimulated. My bank account will barely feel a heartbeat. It will get sucked into the vortex of all things going OUT of my account.
- speaking of $$, bask in my glory of having paid down my home equity loan $15k in 7 months (see the bottom of this blog page). Do you know how effing hard that was?! That's $15k EXTRA that went towards that effing loan. In addition to the regular loan, bills, and my right arm.
- I went to a baby shower on Saturday and there was a dude there who EXACTLY on the same pulse as me re: all the things that every single guy should be able to do. I was like, "hey so let's talk cars" and he replied "don't get me started, i have a friend who drives a purple jetta". That came after he said "well if me, my girlfriend and two of her friends went somewhere...then yeah of course i'm driving. Even if it means I have to drive my GF's car 'cause it's bigger". DUDE you're a shining star of what a single guy should be.
- According to 20/20, you can go an extra 40 miles on your reserve tank when the gas light goes on. For me, as soon as that light goes on, I freak out. Sweat starts to pour down my face and I act as if I've 30 seconds or else I'll start to sputter right in the middle of the road. I don't want to be the a-hole who's actually stalled in a middle lane on the HIGHWAY with her hazards on.
- When someone displays very bad etiquette to you, what's the proper reply? To call them out on their rudeness, or to still maintain your own level of etiquette, smile, and suck it up?
- It's 10:30pm at night and I'm craving strawberry shortcake. From Bigg's Deli and Bar in Ottawa. I want strawberry shortcake so effing bad right now. The last time I had it, I was at Cheesecake Factory. They served me two hockey pucks with artificial foam and a ghetto strawberry. Effing bastards.
I have more to write, but Kraig's doing the "how much longer are you going to be" schpiel so I gotta split. Stay tuned for part two of random rants on a Monday.
Purging whatever's in my brain – part 2 added the next day
Unless you're rocking the super long hair look (and really, I only one guy who can pull that off, Sebastian Bach from Skid Row), short hair on a guy is a MUST. That also includes when it grows all nasty on the back of the neck because you decided to wait a few more weeks before cutting. Ugh. Can't stand that. Short and preppy is the way to go (not to be confused with super SUPER almost shaved hair...unless you're playing sports all summer and need it that short for logistical reasons or you're in the military, please don't do that...chicks dig hair too)
after the age of 17, it is never ever cool to just make out at someone's house in front of people. Not the same as getting drunk in college, but no one's got a “house” in college (5 people renting one doesn't count as one person havint a house).
I'm wearing these super cute black shiny patent heels that are almost identical to ANOTHER pair of black shiny patent heels, except these ones have double straps. Which is how I justified getting them. They're crazy high and hurt like a biotch but DAMN they're adorable.
After a discussion with someone (who will remain anonymous to protect the innocent), I have to agree: really, REALLY, there's only one type of female that can pull of jean/denim skirts: super duper thin ones. Thus unless you're 12 years old...or you're 25 but weigh 90lbs, don't wear them. I've never owned one because I think they're actually ugly, but I also know that unless you're a twig, denim skirts ride up when you sit down and really, REALLY, i don't want to see anyone's underwear.
I think when people build buildings, they purposely eff up the A/C and heating systems so the employees have to suffer forever. I've never, ever worked anywhere where the heating/cooling situation was optimal. It's almost always set up so that one side of the building is forced to freeze while the other size drips in sweat.
Daphne's is so effing awesome. I want to bathe in their tzatziki sauce.
Diet Pepsi addiction is BACK. Bring on the jitters and the withdrawal headaches. And the teeth staining. Sigh. I'll go back to Fresca eventually.
I hate it when i see a guy who's calves are smaller than mine (I don't have small calves, but I expect every guy alive to have bigger ones than mine unless he's got cancer or something).
I love Trina Decker's hairstyle on Swing town: I'm thinking if i cut my hair in the next short while, that's how I would do it.
That all said if you guys ever visit me, I will gladly cook on the BBQ for you, all I ask is that you join me on the roof with a beer or glass of wine and keep me company. :)
Wait, you can BBQ on the roof at your place Bryan? I'm THERE! Well...once I accrue vacation time and flying to the east coast doesn't cost me an arm and a leg.
Tim, I read your comment to Kraig while he was falling asleep, he was appreciative of your support :P
Ha ha...I hate Facebook, but I had to import in these comments from my blog to here (you can view this blog in Facebook, and sometimes people post their comments there instead of here):
Shane wrote at 6:09pm yesterday Thanks. This was an enjoyable read. I'll drive my Jetta less and shave more.
Lol sorry dude! But you're married. So straight married dudes can drive anything. Take a look at Kraig...he removed all his balls ages ago in order to drive my Rav4.
Spitz wrote at 11:59pm yesterday What are you TALKING about? Tacky posters are manly as hell.
Leigh Anne wrote at 12:38pm Sabina, I think I love you. WORDS TO LIVE BY for all you guys out there! Loved it!
HA HAAAAAAAAAAA...you gotta love that 2 guys go whining, and Leigh Anne's like "damn right!"...
You all may think that it's just me, but it's NOT...all of us women think the same! And if they don't, then that chick is secretly what we call a "man".
I Love Money was fabulous. I mean, really, SO SO GOOD. Like, I want a cigarette now. And I don't smoke. I'm actually out of breath. I might need a shower.
You took the lowest common denominators of society and made them compete for the only thing that motivates them: money. Not integrity. Not love. Good old fashioned money.
In fact, I think a tear just came to my eye. THAT is how you do reality television folks. I can die a happy woman.
An open blog to all guys out there not getting laid...
Sometimes you just gotta accept the reason you're alone at home on a Friday or Sat night is yourself.
A short while ago I ran into a guy I know who I used to think was a "great catch" but for some reason or other was still single. I hadn't seen him in quite a long time, which clearly gave him time to make himself as ineligible as possible to the opposite sex. We're talking scratching his ear, picking at his teeth, you name it, it was disgusting. SO...I must remind the male species some basic rules if they want to avoid cockblocking themselves.
1. Men should be MANLY. Think of all the things chicks do (whine, bitch, complain) and realize that you can't do those things. Whining is NOT manly. Ordering a salad for dinner? NOT manly.
2. That being said, being gross is NOT manly. It's just simply gross. Clean nails are a MUST. Listen, maybe you don't want to be busted going into a Happy Nails. Suck it up, many a guy gets a manicure. If you can take care of them yourself, great, but seriously make life easier and get that crap cleaned up by a professional (and by professional, I mean an asian chick who doesn't speak English but will yell out at you whether you want additional services. NO you do not want clear polish!).
That also means you do not pick at your teeth or clean your ears when a chick is around!
3. I seriously cannot stress enough the importance of knowing how to operate a BBQ. Nothing is more man than FIRE. It is man at his most man.
4. You cannot assume a penis of any size will compensate for your body. That's like us thinking that our vaginas will compensate for being out of shape and gaining 100lbs. If you want to attract a chick with a body of a 10, then you gotta make some changes too. NOW that being said you gotta think smart. Why do short guys always bulk up their upper body?! It makes them look SHORTER. Nothing is crappier for a chick than to see a guy who's calves are smaller than ours. And biceps don't mean jack if you didn't work out your shoulders.
So what's my point? Your penis won't compensate for a bad body, and you have the ability to work out individual muscles to think strategically.
Note: A penis wont' compensate for a bad body, but lots of money definitely will.
5. Don't be vegetarian. In fact, avoid being a picky eater. Picky eater = a chick thing. Guys are supposed to be willing to eat rotting fish that's turned green because they got drunk and their buddies dared them to eat it. Okay, I'll give every guy ONE "I won't eat X food". Now this isn't to be confused with foods that can't be consumed due to allergies or religion. This is your ONE "I just don't wanna eat it" food. Make it a good one, and stick with it. Otherwise we'll think you're one step away from ordering a pile of lettuce with no cheese and dressing on the side.
6. Pay for dinner on the first date. I know, I know, it goes against everything both genders stand for. There's really no rhyme or reason behind it, it is what it is. If you can't afford a $100 meal, then take her somewhere cheaper 'cause dude, you're paying for it. NOW...it's perfectly reasonable for the chick to pay for drinks later, or to pitch in for subsequent meals, I'm simply saying: be a man, suck it up, pay for dinner. (If she's a biotch and orders wine after wine after lobster, then you know never to ask her out to anything ever again which is a very good investment).
7. Don't be the douchebag who tucks in his turtleneck into his jeans. Just...don't.
8. Don't wear sleeveless shirts unless you're at the gym or playing some bball with buddies. If we want to see your biceps, will make efforts to say "oooh big muscles" and grab them ourselves. Don't throw your biceps in our face with your sleeveless shirts 'cause you know what? Odds are good that we'll compare yours to someone else's. Plus, it's just plain WT.
9. We certainly don't expect your place to look like it's straight out of Architectural Digest. But please, please: this isn't college. Stuff needs to match sorta. Tacky posters have gotta go. If you want to bring chicks over and get laid, repeatedly, then for real your place can't look like you won't change your sheets until you can take your laundry back home to your mom.
10. Remember, never drive these cars if you're a single straight guy: VW Jetta, VW Bug, Toyota Tercel, Honda Del Sol, Mazda Miata. You don't need to be rich, but if you've got 10k to spend on a car, a used mustang trumps a used tercel.
11. Chicks dig little pet names. Just test it out first...some chicks might freak out if you call her "babe" (author's opinion? as long as the pet name isn't "hey UglyKins", i'm okay with anything).
12. You need to balance out the beauty of a 5 o'clock shadow vs. knowing you're going to make out with a chick. We have girly sensitive skin. That's why you like us, we're soft and we smell good. Don't ruin our soft skin with your brillo pad of a face.
That's all i can think of for now, going to take a nap after this South Park episode (the Quest for Ratings episode...sexy action news!)
So a few weeks ago VH1 aired Sex: The Revolution, a 4 part series. Now in case it's not clear, i'm crazy fascinated the differences between men and women, how guys operate, what's innate in our minds...I'm also super fascinated with how sex has changed our society, what's considered scandalous when...
It's pretty mind boggling if you think about how things changed in a few generations. Everything was kosher for centuries...everyone's supposed to wait till marriage, guys secretely boned on the side, gay life was totally hidden...Like having anal sex was actually ILLEGAL, which lord knows my ass is a one-way-street but I couldn't care a less what my neighbor wants to with their sphincter... Then the series takes viewers through the war, drugs, and free love...Which THANK THE LORD I wasn't around for that era. People were nasty. MEN WERE DISGUSTING. WTF is up with the long hair, the sideburns, the mustaches?! Too much hair! And all that drug use made people clearly forget to bathe. You can't tell me that there weren't crabs in those mustaches. Seriously, the videos VH1 showed of guys getting their freak on in the 60s and 70s is enough to make any girl wear a chastity belt. In fact, I would have become a NUN in the 60s (and I'm Muslim!), I'm just so not down with being boned by a guy who's dirty, vile, hasn't brushed his teeth in years ("dentists are like, so corporate man!"), and is so high he believes he's boning a 3 headed unicorn.
The 70s also had sex clubs, you know, you just show up and get your Swinger on. Would love to grow in a petri dish whatever was on those nasty ass mattresses.
Which then leads to the best part...when Herpes came out, it was like, mass hysteria. Just a theory: if people inthe free love era whored themelves after they BATHED, i bet Herpes wouldn't have existed. Brush your teeth after you give head (and subsequently giving someone else head) maybe just maybe would have prevented it. I know, i know, it's a virus yadda yadda...i'm simply saying when you've got some EFFED UP sex going on, like dirty people boning constantly, wtf did you think was going to happen?!
Then HIV came out, and Herpes was the least of anyone's issues...and it's fascinating how it came full circle a bit, that people are so much more cautious but for different reasons (not afraid of being labeled a "slut" as much being labeled "herpes-laden AIDS victim).
So I got a handwriting analysis done by a an ex coworker who is trying his hand at it (ha ha...that was a great pun)...here's what he came up with from the mess of a handwriting job i provided. His notes are regular font, Kraig's opinion is in italics, mine are in red.
· You are direct and energetic. - true Hmmm, this is a mix...I'm actually not THAT direct, however my approach to things is direct because I"m very impatient. So if i want something, I'm not going to hesitate to go up to someone and get it...but when I go up to that person, I play the little dance to figure out the best way to get it. It's the ex-salesgirl in me I guess. As for energetic, I dunno...I'm pretty lazy. But that may be because I use up my energy when i'm out with people, 'cause when I get home all I wanna do is nap nap nap. In fact, if I seem like i'm bubbly around you, just know that deep down, I'm fantasizing about my next nap.
· In many ways a person’s handwriting is like a seismograph, a readout of unseen activity below the surface. Your writing reveals that there is a lot of activity below the surface. You are characteristically sympathetic, cheerful, emotional and optimistic. Emotional yes… sometimes cheerful. You are Cynical and you have no sympathy unless its for animals :p Kraig nailed it. I really do have little sympathy for the most part for people, but if its for animals than I'm ready to be their little animal therapist. Cheerful...hmmm...depends around who. I'm cranky most of the time I think. Optimistic, definitely NOT. My mantra is: expect the worst, and the worst won't happen, if it does then at least you're prepared
· Everybody enjoys solitude at some point and companionship at other times.Your writing says that you tend to enjoy your quiet moments more, and that it may take some time to open yourself up to others. People may see you as a ‘chatterbox’ sometimes but there is a very private dimension to you that few people get the chance to enjoy. Very true
Yes to the bone. That chatterbox line is crazy true, and sums me up on so many levels. I wish i could kiss the guy who wrote this, becasue seriously it really is EXACTLY how I am. And most people think I'm some social butterfly, but really I love just curling up with a blanket, my cats, and a magazine on a Friday night.
· The letters in your words indicate that you are outgoing and sometimes outspoken. But you are mature enough to exercise reserve and caution when it’s called for. true LOL well some people say that I don't exercise reserve, but yeah I'm pretty outspoken. I'm a loudmouth for the most part. I've gots no shame in my game, if I've come up with something fabulously witty yer gonna hear it.
· You are tolerant, sensitive and impressionable. Sensitive and impressionable… yah I guess this is all true. Impressionable, BIG TIME...on so many levels. I start to mimic the mannerisms and expressions of those around me. I STILL use expressions from my buddy slash ex cubemate Tony ("He should be shot") and we worked together 8 years ago. I swear, put me in a room with people from Compton and you'll be thinking i'm from the ghetto in no time. As for tolerant, that I don't know. I guess I am, people wonder why I put up with some crap for so long, and I think that's because I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt above and beyond everyone else's typical patience level.
·You have undiscovered or underdeveloped gifts of creativity. Very true Well if I have undiscovered talents then I don't know about them, so how could I dispute this? But creativity overall....I'm relatively creative, however I feel like creativity and logic are opposites, and I'm much more logical than creative. I want concrete numbers to work with over abstract thoughts like "make it blue"...what shade of blue? Give me a Pantone number. How opaque?
·Not everyone knows how to treat themselves as good as you treat yourself. You might lack inhibition and you tend to indulge your various cravings. You are quite ‘at home’ enjoying yourself with things that make you happy. You don’t treat yourself well – so this is partially true HA hardly....this is the only thing int his last that's truly wrong, i'm not comfortable at ALL treating myself with crap! My big splurge is to buy some more Lip Smackers chapstick at Target.
· You can be compulsive and indecisive – true YES YES YES so true. I can't believe my handwriting showed this. I'm so indecisive, it's mind boggling. I treat reading a menu like it's effing Sophie's Choice. "Ohhh, the chicken or the pasta? No...wait...the panini...oh...OHHH the humanity!"...
· You don’t operate according to ‘convention’. You think and act independently with a directness that might be mistaken for disrespect sometimes. But you are actually quite modest and accommodating. – very true This is so unbelievably true it's unreal. Even down to the disrespect part. For example...I went to a movie (sorry Carrie, I know you hate this example) with some friend's and a friend's friend, some chick I'd never met.
After the movie we were chatting about how she managed to save us seats on opening night of the movie, she was saying how she finangled the door guy yadda yadda. Being the ultimate scammer that I am, i was so floored, I just kept bombarding her with questions so I could learn to do that in the future. She however had a little freak-out and started yelling "oh, i though i did a GOOD thing by getting us seats! i'm SOOOO sorry!" and got all pissed off.
Thankfully Carrie was like "no, you don't get it, Sabina thinks this is great, she wants to learn more"...i was so stunned that this psycho chick flipped on me when I was (what i thought) giving her praise for her wise tactics.
On a side note, Carrie later was like "I knew she opened a pandora's box!"...i've spent WEEKS dwelling on that psycho chick's response, freaking out that i've offended her friend (not the psycho girl, but carrie's friend), yadda yadda....it's just funny that she kept trying to convince me that the problem really was this girl, not with me, but that she knew she wouldn't be able to get me to think otherwise lol.
Quickie post, had a fantastic day chillin' with Felicia...got our pool on.
The last 2 pics are of her bf John getting IN the dumpster to throw out the trash. He's a trooper.
I also have to give him props for making me cry laughing by innocently asking "Did he have retard strength?"....I'm usually the one making the absolutely inappropriate and un-PC jokes, it's refreshing when someone else does it.
I can't believe I forgot about Canada Day. I didn't even wear red or white or both yesterday.
I sort of feel like it's the equivalent of forgetting the date of your best friend's death. I should know it, acknowledge it, and do something in tribute that day each year.
So in honor of my special place, here's all the things I miss about Canada:
1.The fact I have to spell the above “honor” instead of “honour”, as well as “colour” and “labeling” only has one “L” here. 2.Poutine. 3.The national anthem. Not that i think it's a good national anthem, but at least I know the words. I'm willing to admit though, the US national anthem is damn catchy, it's like they got Timbaland to produce theirs whereas we got some old guy with a casio keyboard. 4.Poutine. 5.Tim Hortons. 6.More specifically, Timbits. Hell, I'll settle for a Dunkin' Doughnuts but they only have effing Krispy Kreme around here, which is the biggest bastardization of a doughnut alive. 7.Poutine. 8.Getting plum sauce to dip my fries in anywhere i go. 9.The cost of gas per liter, not per gallon. 10.Quaker muffin mix. Here the muffin mixes give you at best 6 ghetto muffins. But the paper bag situation in those Quaker brand muffin mixes, omg, you get 24 out of them and they're SO EFFING GOOD....damn i miss those. 11.I miss Shoppers Drug Mart. 12.I miss malls having a Shoppers, Pharma Plus, or whatever. They don't put those in malls here. 13.Poutine. 14.I miss being able to pick up a package and understand either side of the box (French or English). Now i'm like “no espanol por favor senior!”. 15.MuchMusic. I'm not dissing MTV...but they're not the same at ALL (even though I believe MuchMusic and Musique Plus are owned by MTV). 16.A good solid thunderstorm. Which isn't Canadian per se, but I just haven't seen one since I moved here 8 years ago. EIGHT YEARS since I've seen the crazy kind of thunderstorm that's fun to watch from a window, where it's loud, where you feel like everything inside of you is being washed away. 17.Poutine. With ketchup. From KFC. 18.Poutine. With ketchup. From Nickels. 19.Poutine. With ketchup. From Zak's. 20.Poutine. With or without ketchup. (I only acquired the ketchup taste because it was an effective method of ensuring other people would mooch and steal my poutine). 21.Speaking of KFC, i miss KFC fries. Not this stupid potato wedge nonsense they have here. FRIES. The kind meant to be slathered with cheese curds and gravy. 22.I miss going to Club Monaco and paying Canadian prices for their stuff. 23.President's Choice skim chocolate milk. It's the only place where you can get less than 2% milkfat in chocolate milk format. I remember I used to buy that stuff by the carton and chug it straight up in the parking lot. Soooo good. 24.McCain Deep N Delicious cakes.
(25 got jacked up) 26.DAMMIT i'm going to cry i want some poutine so effing bad. 27.Going to a Roots store and seeing Canadian stuff written on the apparel, not US stuff. 28.I miss Molson being truly Canadian, after I became and expat so did Molson. I miss their marketing. Do they even DO the “I AM CANADIAN” ads anymore?! They were so effective!
Which thus leads me to say, I miss the Cabin as well, naturally.
29.I miss Poutine from Minglewoods, which is right next to the Cabin. 30.I miss East Side Mario's. Just for their croutons and chicken tetrazzini. 31.I miss taking $20 cab rides. Not like the $120 cab rides to go down the street like here. 32.I do NOT miss New York Fries poutine. Their stuff sucked balls. But i miss debating with people over the merits of leaving the skin on potatoes when making fries (nasty, IMO). 33.I miss The Market. 34.I miss Le Caveau de Schezuan. 35.I miss spiders that crawl on webs and up high, unlike the spiders here that don't even make frickin' webs and crawl on ME instead.... 36.Having a $2 bill/coin (yes, they have them here, but not like you're going to find 'em). 37.Poutine poutine poutine.
I've officially decided that my camera has a Goob filter. If I didn't know me, and I saw pics of me, I'd want to punch me for being such an insubordinate Goob.
Pics from this weekend, too lazy to divide them up but at least I wrote captions. The first set are from Sat night, went to dinner in Laguna for Nicole V-now-B's birthday, the next set is for this charity fashion show thing I went to...
So i had the morning from hell, I had to take Stash to an eye specialist because he's got, for lack of a better word, a serioudly goopy eye. Which he's had for years and I didn't think much of it until the vet was all "oh, his eye could rupture". I freaked out, and drove him all the way to frickin' Tustin to see this specialist. Tustin is mutha effing FAR when you've got a cat hyperventilating and howling in your car.
Typically I can survive cats hollering at me, I'm very much of the "suck it up I'm paying serious coin so you can get better", but he was breathing so hard I was afraid he was going to pass out, so I'm hyperventilating...bad bad.
Anyway, the good news is that it's nothing crazy. He damaged a tear duct (some stuff from when he was a kitten at the shelter) and its scarred over, so his tears don't drain through his nasal passages, they just pour over his eye. They told me eventually it could lead to an ulcer, but in the grand scheme he's okay as long as I keep an eye on him. My poor baby. They kept sticking these little paper things right in his eyeball to see how fast tears would produce...it was nuts, his bad eye just soaked through the papers in a split second. ANd then he was left with blue and green ink all over his eyes for the rest of the day.
There goes $250. I swear, no one spends as much on their cats as I do. And when I got home, Stash just gave me the evil eye (HA bad pun).
A few random, random thoughts for this last day of June:
1. I just realized I missed my brother's birthday. Dammit.
2. I'm seriously the clumsiest person alive. I wish i had a nickel for every time I smacked my car door on my forehead. Today, leaving PetSmart, i did it yet again. My skull probably has bizarro grooves in it as a result being whacked so many times. I once did it close to my eye, mymother insisted I had a boyfriend who was beating me. No, no, I really am just THAT clumsy.
3. Okay, NOW i think the cost of gas is starting to bug me. I held up a good fight, and tried to think that it was worse in the 1970s. But now i'm much more aware of how many times I"m gassing up, and this Excessive California Driving situation is killing my wallet's mojo.
4. Pizza Dude's pizza tastes nowhere near as good at the Z Pizza in Ladera Ranch.
5. A ton of people I know got laid off today, and layoffs = anxiety for me. Bad bad memories of going through it myself. I seriously think we've been gypped that there's been two recessions this decade. Ugh, i think I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep tonight as a result of the layoff news.
6. Carrie's going to kill me, but I haven't really been watering the flowers she's got in my backyard.
7. Why hasn't anyone invented any of the following: a) teleportation b) cure for cellulite (or really, MY cellulite) c) kitty litter that requires me to never clean...EVER. The Littermaid doesn't count. d) a better frickin' TSA system at the airport? What are we, Amish?!
8. Humans have evolved a ton over the past few years, centuries, whatever...why does it still take 9 months to createa baby? Haven't we refined the process so its more efficient and the whole thing can be whittled down to say, 3 weeks?
9. I went to a charity even on Sunday, and I've noticed that charity dinner/brunches/meals always involve some sort of prayer. The intonation or whatever the f*ck its called. This makes my blood boil so much, it makes me NOT want to give to whatever charity i'm there for. If you think its not a big deal, imagine if you were at some charity event and Osama Bin Laden gave the little prayer. You'd be kind of freaked out and worried a lightening bolt would come down on you if you even acknowledged what he said. Sorta how i feel. Can't we separate Church and Charity?!
It has come to my attention (thank you Mr. Colbert) that Cookie Monster has been stuck promoting fruits instead of carbs.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUHhhhhhh....
I get that we have an obesity epidemic. I get that kids weigh more now than ever before. But you do NOT eff around with my homeboy CM and his cookie agenda.
There's just some traditions that should not be broken. I dig how he never actually "ate" the cookie, but rather it just crumbled in front of Cookie Monster. I don't know about you, but cookies make me pretty nutty too. I had 2 chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and I was so giddy, it prompted other people nearby to get cookies. Damn right that kind of propaganda wouldn't have worked if I were hopping around with a frickin' apple.
No, the picture post was when we were at Yard House for dinner, then Chronic Cantina to get our partayyy on. Which everyone did...Janet went home to vomit up a lung, and at 3am I was still cleaning the vomit from behind the toilet because Kraig missed.
He said that someone handed him a drink, he has no idea who, and that put him over the edge. This week I ran into an ex-coworker of mine who happened to have been at Chronic that night, and SHE was the temptress with the shot! Thanks Jill :P
In other news, yeah i know the video below is effed up on the page, i'm too lazy to resize it. Suck it.
Im also vowing to blog at LEAST once or twice a week. Speaking of vows, I suck at my NY Monthly Resolution List. I don't think I completed a single thing. And we're JUne. I think this month's goal was to read all my French books while vegging out at Lake MV. So much for that.
In case anyone needs an entertainment fix, here's the abridged version:
Get Smart: I would lick Steve Carrell's balls, so I'm a little biased towards anything he does. That being said, this movie was pretty bad. Once you week out the pratfalls and wisecracks, you're stuck wondering wtf is going on with the plot. They're going to Russia to check what now? And why are they in that dude's house? Oh it's an excuse to do that laser alarm scene. Gotcha.
Swingtown This show is easily becoming my Gossip Girls for the summer. I adore the retro clothing and stuff, I love that Grant Show (from Melrose Place) has a porn star mustache....it's a delightfully tacky show. And yeah, it's about a couple that moves into a neighborhood and gets sucked into swinging courtesy of Mr. Porn 'Stache.
America's Best Dance Crew 2 Randy Jackson, I hate you...but I love you. You make me even like Mario Lopez (who, I have to admit, is at least a genius with his career...he's even more successful than Tiffany Amber Thiesson, whatever spelling). I miss my Gr8 Sk8 crew, and Jabawockees, but these teams are shaping up to "bring on yo A-game, this is Season Two y'all, but i respect what y'all ahh doin'"...
Here's a link to pics from last night, for anyone who might be bored enough to go through them...my friend Janet just ran a marathon, is moving to Santa Barbara, and had a birthday all within the same 2 week period... Shutterfly bitches!
Also fyi to anyone reading this from Facebook: just go straight to the source, Blogger link.
Yeahhhh...take a look at the bottom of the page to the HELOC paydown...three digits! The goal was to pay down $15k in 2007, and it's almost done.
Not that it makes a diff...this was the recommendation of Countrywide last year (to pay down $30k of my home equity loan before the rest of the loan is set to switch over at the end of 2009, i.e: pay down 15k per year for two years). Realistically, I think I'd need to pay down another $70k if I had to refinance tomorrow.
So seriously, please...just everyone foreclose already! Get it over with! Let's get the worst of it over with.
In other news, I switched jobs again. As usual, not going to post details here but if you want to know the scoop, email me. If you don't know my email, then GOOD...I don't want no stalkers anyway!
A few seriously random thoughts:
- hummus from Daphne's is like magic in my mouth. It's mouth porn.
- I can't WAIT for the next iteration of America's Best Dance Crew. The last round was absolutely incredible.
- Diet Pepsi trumps Diet Coke all the way
- I'm so annoyed that Barrack Obama hand bumping his wife is actually considered a news-worthy story
- I fantasize on so many levels how much things would be better if I just won a $100k lottery. That's it. That's all I need. I'd LIKE more, but beggers can't be choosers, and $100k after taxes would be wonderful.
- I think I found a grey hair today. I was FREAKING out. I'm going to play ignorant until this weekend, then I'm going to go on a rampage. Getting grey hair is a million times worse than a wrinkle...it's like finding out you're in menopause. But at least menopause isn't displayed all over your scalp for the whole world to see how old you are.
Going to take a nap now. I actually get home at a decent time now where I can nap! Justin can bring sexy back, but I'm bringing napping back!
Dear writers, editors, and other staff at US Weekly:
Let me begin to say that I highly enjoy your literary piece of fluff. I prefer it over People, which to me has too many stories about "real" people (if I wanted to read about a cancer kid who raised money and helped others, I'd read Newsweek. I read gossip mags to read about all that is evil and vapid about the world). For awhile it was the highlight of my week, getting your issue in the mail and waiting to read it at the gym, going page-by-ad-laden-page.
I'm okay when you guys go directly to the source instead of running off the gossip mill. I was okay when you had numerous articles about Jessica and Nick (how the tales of marriages woes were untrue. Hey, we all knew they were denying like mad).
What I do take issue with (ha ha bad pun) is when you cover stories about reality shows like The Hills. Unless you're discussing LC's fashion line, her alleged sex tape, or when the new season will start, I don't want to read it.
Let's make something very clear: the audience, whether 12 or 112, knows its scripted. So your cover stories about "The Plot To Destroy Lauren" are as much of an insult to your readers as a cover saying "Lynette battles cancer while Bree makes muffins" or "Kate's love triange: Sawyer speaks out". There is no plot to destroy Lauren. Heidi does not have heartache. Heidi speaks out "Why I called off my wedding" is very clear: the show told me to.
Let's go over last week's issue: Heidi Asks For a Ring: I'm Ready to Say I Do! Are you effing kidding me?! In case you didn't notice, throughout this season outside of the realm of MTV we have seen Spencer and Heidi pose shamelessly for the paparazzi, canoodling like mad. Were we really supposed to believe they broke up? And funny how nowhere in the show while there's all this alleged drama, MTV never showed them film via handycam Heidi's ghetto video. Nay, it's pretty safe to say that nothing on The Hills is a reflection of their true life, unless you want to factor in bathing and drinking.
So in case I haven't made it clear to you US Weekly, let me spell it out: IT'S NOT REAL. It's not even ALLEGEDLY real (hey, that's why we buy your mags. For the possibility of it being real). If I want a make-believe plotline, I'll read Soap Opera Digest.
Do you need more help? Let's go through this: Heidi and LC were friends (allegedly true) LC and Speidi get in a fight (sure, good enough for me, it's still season 1) Speidi is no longer a part of LC's life, so Speidi must come up with a reason to be entertaining to be a part of The Hills (now we start entering "make believe" land) Spencer proposes to Heidi (scripted) Heidi says yes (scripted to match the fake ring) Spencer and Heidi have drama (scripted) repeat above line a few times oh no, they have no interaction with LC, how to still be a part of the hills? Spencer's sister (aka She-Pratt) attends LC's fashion class (scripted) Spencer is SOOOO angry against She-Pratt. (scripted) Heidi is soooo angry against She-Pratt (scripted) Spencer gets back together with Heidi. (scripted) Heidi is ready to get married (scripted)
Do you notice all the SCRIPTEDs above?! THe best part was when Spencer moved in with She-Pratt...it was like an episode of Three's Company, I was ready for the landlord with the flowery neckties to show up and think Spencer was gay. ("Come and knock on our door...")
So i plead with you...stop airing articles from a scripted show if it's about the plotline (marriage? no. new fashion line? yes.) and please, PLEASE stop showing pictures from their "romantic" vacation...they're so staged they might as well have a set designer and list of all poses required for each photoshoot.
Sincerely,
A devoted US Weekly reader that doesn't want to be insulted anymore with your unreal stories. I like my tales to have "alleged" in front of the headlines.
I'm copping out by just linking to another article, but if you don't have time to read the whole thing at the very least read the very first item (#7) and watch the Jolly Green Giant commercial circa 19-something-before-color-tv...scary crap man! top 7 most terrifying corporate mascots of all time
Yeah, I watched two movies this weekend. Well actually 3, I finally saw "Airplane!" which yes, i've never seen. Suck it.
Alpha Dog, in a nutshell, is a f*cked up movie.
That's it. That's all I gotta say really. Oh it also features Ben Foster, who I noted in my previous post plays nutty/psycho guy REALLY well.
Another movie I'd recommend, if you're in the mood for gratuitous drug use, smoking, swearing, nudity, and sweaty guys freaking out with guns in their hands wiping goo off their faces. And seriously I do recommend it. I liked it.
As usual, I need to start this movie review with a disclaimer:
I can't stand westerns. I really, really can't stand them. And it's for the most retarded of reasons: I can't tell anyone apart. Somehow the yellow cast of the filming with the brown/yellow dirty clothes and cowboy hats makes it so that I can't tell who's who unless it happens to be someone pretty famous. So if I'm watching an older Western, forget it: other than Clint Eastwood I won't know who's the bad guy vs. the good guy.
And all that "I reckon" talk just pops a big ol' question mark over my head.
That being said, "3:10 to Yuma" has enough famous people in it for me to tell the difference. One of the true stars of the movie is Ben Foster. That dude plays crazy REALLY well. He recently was on My Name is Earl as the nutty guy who Earl's afraid of in jail. He played another nutty druggie guy in Alpha Dog. Ben Foster plays nutty so well, I fail to believe he's actually a normal dude in real life; if I saw him in the grocery store I'd run out of that Albertsons clutching my purse.
The concept is pretty good: good guy must get bad guy to a train heading to prison at 3:10...while a billion badasses are trying to kill you to get their bad guy leader back. Christian Bale is a big favorite of mine (he did American Psycho soooo well, and I had intended on hating him before I even saw the movie because I fell in love with the character from the book), but he really does do a fantastic job in the movie.
I actually would recommend this flick if you want to mix it up a little, get your violence on, and root for the good AND bad guys.
Once again I'm in one of those modes where I don't feel like anything I'm thinking about is worth typing, let alone worth it for anyone reading.
We're back to ANOTHER round of home improvement woes, today's problem: the garbage disposal is leaking. Now the problem with leaks is that they go relatively unnoticed until weeks later, you run the water for a long time, and you finally see a pile of water at your feet. By then the stuff in your cupboard, and the cupboards themselves, are slimy wet. In the case of the garbage disposal...well you can imagine the beauty that comes out of that sucker.
Typically I call Saddleback Plumbing. Why? Because they're the only ones I can think of because they spam me with so many $12 coupons (excellent marketing on their part). But today I thought of the Mike Diamond commercials ("we guarantee our plumbers will be on time and smell good"). Their customer service is fantastic, the only problem is that they couldn't get anyone in today. That means I now have to argue like crazy to have them come after 6pm during the week, or tough it out till next week (the most likely solution). Blegh. Home ownership blows for the most part.
Then again, so does renting. I just need to find a cardboard box and pimp it out.
To change topics... Some people have a life slogan, other people have something they'd want written on their headstone...I may have found my little "quote of the day", as written to Kelly and Erica the other day (the topic: Spencer Pratt actually being correct in an argument against Heidi Montag).
I dig it. 'Cause as much as we all love to hate him...he's right. And I love it when people we hate are right. Like, if Hitler was preaching about spaying/neutering your pets, I'd be in heaven.
I went to a software project estimation thing today (yeah, on a Saturday...at 8am...up in Long Beach...), and driving back I was forced to see a sight that i'd like to forget, if only someone can figure out how to suck the memory out through my ear canal.
Picture it: I'm driving along my merry way, pretty tired 'cause I woke up at 6am, driving in the right lane 'cause I'm getting on my exit... All the cars are slowed to a crawl, which doesn't phase me much 'cause my exit somehow manages to be some bizarro traffic zone (it's the same spot where those 3 kids from Ladera Rach died in a single accident last year). Low and behold, the reason why all the cars are driving at the speed of lard: an SUV is parked on the side of the road, and a woman is outside of it...bare assed...URINATING.
Urinating ALOT. Like a dog (except she was peeing more like my cats do). Thing is, I was so tired i wasn't really thinking and I was wondering what this woman was doing (like did she lose something on the ground...was she puking...wtf was she going) until I realize I'm staring at her bare ugly ass and the liquid coming out of her.
Bare asses when not on set (i.e. covered with makeup or airbrushed) are NASTY looking.
And since we were driving so slow, I was forced to see this scene for a second longer than I would have LIKED to (it's not like you can close your eyes while driving).
I'm terrified that my brain won't forget that image, and that this awful sight will take the spot where a wonderful memory once was.
Item #5 may very well be the most hilarious thing ever written...ever: 5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja.
Review of August Rush, starring Felicity and the dude from Bend it Like Beckham.
I only added this to my Netflix queue 'cause Season 2 of The Tudors isn't out on DVD yet and I needed another Jonathan Rhys-Myers fix.
The music is very good, Robin Williams is creepy, Jonathan RM is crazy hot even though he really should just keep his mouth shut...and Keri Russell does the EXACT same stupid mouth thing that makes me dislike Scarlett Johanson.
That half-open pout that denotes wonder and awe. Can't stand it. Anyway, I liked Felicity so I'll cut her some slack.
What rating out of ten would I give this movie? Whatever review you'd give a movie that you would watch on tv if it's 3am and you can't get to sleep. Or if you've got a hard-on for Jonathan Rhys-Myers playing a rocker-turned-San-Francisco-Executive.
So I'm sure in my random bitching I've demonstrated the bad luck with computers Kraig and I have had the past few months. (NOt to be confused with the plumbing problems, which surprise surprise, the knob shower situation is jacked up again and we're showering in the cats bathroom once more..but that's another blog for another time)...
I had researched external CD/DVD burners (because part of the computer problems I've had is having internal burners not working...better off having an external one that won't be impacted by internal issues)...I definitely wasn't going to go with an external hard drive after the WD MyBook fiasco as well. Anyway, yadda yadda, I decided maybe Carbonite would be the ultimate way to go, just effing pay someone else to deal with my problem.
So here's my review so far...
You can a free one month trial, so thumbs-up for the cost factor so far (sort of hard to complain when worst case, you get what you pay for**). Initially you select the file or folder you want to back up, right click, then select Carbonite-->Back Up This File.
**side note: now logic would tell you that you don't pay anything for spyware or viruses, so that's not the worst case. However I would argue that someone else using your computer for malicious purposes is more like, THEY should be paying YOU...and since they're not, then that's NEGATIVE money which is even worse. So worst case with something like Carbonite is that it doesn't work...they didn't benefit from you, you didn't benefit from them.
After that Carbonite just runs in the background backing up the files, and alerts you with a little green icon when it's all done. They warn you that initially it'll take a boatload of time, and then after that as you modify files it just automatically backs up, no action needed.
Now I didn't truly take the time to assess their fine print. Online reviews warned me that you have to manually push video files (since I have zero video files on the computer in question, I didn't care). Same for executables (once again, not something I was worried about). The problem? I didn't note how you also had to manually push files over 4k in size.
I have a gazillion mp3s from my Napster days, and almost all are over 4k in size each. So here I was all happy thinking my files had finally been updated, a little ghetto green dot was placed on the mp3 folder indicating my files had been uploaded...and then I realized that it had only uploaded small playlist files.
So there was my dilemma...was I going to right-click and manually push each and every one of those mp3s? Well the moron that I am actually attempted to this, and realized that the RIAA was going to find me long before I actually finished up.
In my infinite wisdom, I decided the way to go would be to zip a given music folder, and the push the single zip file.
Riiggght. Did I mention that this was at like 2am on Saturday night? Did I mention that this is for the older computer that we used because the "good" PC's hard drive went dead, and now it's fixed but contains no personal files?
Zipping A music folder containing a zillion files over 4k each, let alone MANY folders, on a computer that moves at the speed of molasses combined with the stress of Carbonite running in the background made for a painful, PAINFUL process.
Well that's pretty much all I can review so far. The trial runs out in 2 weeks, so eventually I'll get off my fat ass to nag at my husband to carry the "good" PC upstairs so we can try the next phase: Operation Copy My Music Back To Me.
So i have to give serious props to Matt and Trey...of South Park, naturally. Tonight's Major Boobage episode was effing awesome...and I've never even seen Heavy Metal, the movie this episodes parodies.
Let's do a recap of times South Park has mimicked other animation styles: (in no particular order):
1. Make Love, not Warcraft This was more genius than funny, although Kenny wanting to play Hello Kitty Island Adventure still busts me up every time. 2. Simpsons Did It I love love LOVE the Simpsons, so combining my two favorite adult cartoons is like pure heaven.
3. Family Guy... I don't remember the name of the episode, but it was the one where Cartman tries to stop Family Guy from airing an image of Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). Since I'm not a huge Family Guy fan, I respect Cartman's auth-o-ri-teyyy . A side note: for some reason as much as I don't like Family Guy, I actually really like American Dad.
4. Fun With Weapons I don't care so much for the animation of this episode, however it's one of my favorites just because Butters takes a chinese star right in the eye. It's awesome.
5. Major Boobage I couldn't find any pics online yet (since it just aired this evening), so here's a small clip from SouthPark.com
Only one more week to wait for another episode...tonight's compensated for the depressing Britney episode from last week...don't be makin' me feel guilty 'cause I'm Britney-obsessed like everyone else....
Have you ever just wanted to catch a frickin' break!?!
So I got Kraig an in-car GPS thing, as an early anniversary gift as well as a "thank you for getting nose surgery for me so I can finally sleep"...i did a crapload of research, and it seemed like Garmin with MSN Direct for traffic was the way to go.
Ummm, yeah. NEVER have I had a problem relating to finding anything...i'm right in the middle of San Diego and Los Angeles, two of the most major cities in the US. As far as I'm concerned, the whole world revolves around California (in case anyone cares, OC to LA is like..San Jose to San Francisco...)...
Well go figure. MSN Direct works perfectly in LA. In San Diego. Apparenly in NORTHERN orange county.
Going south, it stops in Tustin.
WTF.
This is of zero help for Kraig, who needs to know like 10 exits before that if he should get on the 5 or the 405.
Returning that sucker will be a bitch (online purchase), but I tried to find another GPS device that had good reviews AND had definite coverage in South OC and I couldn't find anything online. Oh and apparently this OC thing is a big mishap on MSN's part.
So...now do I return it, or do I have him keep in hopes that eventually they'll expand their coverage? In the meantime, it DOES provide real-time gas prices and movie listings...
Seriously MSN...you provide traffic updates for f*cking Riverside but you don't for OC?!
When will companies realize that they need to cater to me and my needs before those of others? Geezus.
I get that in the grand scheme of things, you're still just a governmental agency. I get that you have to raise the price of stamps, and I get that you have to be closed on Sundays and hours outside of business hours (which always surprises me, organizations that are purely service-based should work the OPPOSITE hours of people who work in the product industry. But whatever).
I know you've got some stiff competition with UPS and FedEx and that other one that starts with a "D".
I figure you guys took a hit when people stopped writing by hand and started emailing people. Seriously, if you think about it, that's probably ALOT of dough lost. But in return, you guys are making BANK off online sales. You guys get a decent chunk of my cash as a result of online sales I make.
I was so excited when you guys allowed people to print postage at home. And for times where I couldn't do that, your Automated Postal Machine Doodads that work 24/7 were also life saviors.
Then...this week...I discovered the stupid sticker you have on your mail slots for packages: anything over 13 ounces now has to be physically handed to a USPS counter person due to "security" concerns (really? Sounds like a fantastic challenge for some dude to create a 12oz bomb). Plus, just because you put a little sign on there saying "13oz only" doesn't mean someone with a 5lbs package of anthrax will stop and say "damn! So much for popping this baby in the mail chute".
I can't begin to explain what a pain in the ass this has been for me. If I have to actually be at a post office during your retarded hours, then I might as well not bother printing postage at home or through your so-called automated device.
One step forward, eight steps back...way to go USPS.
You and your husband don't have any computer nerd friends that can help you out?? Between Ray and I we fix our share of computers for friends. Sounds like a weekend fix'er upper. :)
Dude, this IS all we know thanks to people who are total techies (and i'd like to think that have a B.Sc. in Computer Science gives me some street cred myself)...this is the end result of taking PCs and hard drives and everything to every tech person I know, including my last company's IT department.
EVERY single one of the hard drives from all of our sources has completely gone to crap, i.e. stopped spinning...once that happens, you're outta luck.
I started researching external DVD burners so I can back this stuff up to a format that won't get jacked up (i.e. something without internal components that can get screwy), but then I think we're going to go with an external company that does data backup as a service. I was thinking Carbonite, and it turns out that at the memorial service I went to today I spoke with someone who said that they've been using Carbonite for over a year and they love it...so I think that's the way to go. Plus for $50 a YEAR...that's a pretty sweet deal for unlimited stuff.
Today I went to a memorial-slash-life-celebration for a friend's grandmother up in LA. I guess I'm pretty lucky that in my life so far I haven't had to go to that many services (the only true funeral-type that I went to was for a friend's boyfriend in highschool, Bryan i know you know who i'm talking about, and that was just bizarre 'cause I just went to the wake which no one warned me i'd see a BODY...anyway...), so the times I do go I tend to get emotional pretty easily.
I can truly say this will go down in history as the best memorial service ever. Not so much because of the surroundings or the food or any of that (although I'm pretty sure they snuck some crack into their sandwiches, I seriously inhaled at least a dozen, and it was all absolutely gorgeous), but because everyone had so much to say and their comments showed what an absolutely incredible woman my friend's grandmother was.
The best part I think was the video interview my friend's sister put together shortly before her grandmother died, which is absolutely brilliant...this is now the perfect excuse for me to get a camcorder (side note: were they super expensive in the past? My parents made it sound like a camcorder was thousands of dollars. I went on Amazon and you can get a decent Canon or Sony handycam for under $400. Then again, my mom made the Pizza Hut buffer sound like a month's salary).
During the services I started to wonder...if I died tomorrow, what would people say about me? Or 60 years from now, what would I have done with my life that could possibly make people speak so fondly of me like they did for my friend's grandmother? If i died tomorrow, people would say "Oh, she knew her TV trivia. She had an obsession with pop culture. She could win Vh1's Celebrity Pop Culture challenge. She donated $20 to the Donkey Rescue charity in 2007. She had high anxiety about paying off debt."
Sad, very sad people. So I think I'd like to make it a lifelong goal to live in such a way that my actions will be meaningful to others, that I'll be remembered for more than the girl who freaked out when her interest-only-no-cash-down-house plummeted in value.
I am a guy. I pick my toe nails, drink milk out of the jug and twist the bread and wrap it under to keep it fresh.
GOD i hate when people do that! The only way it stays fresh is if you're already 1/2way through the loaf. If you've only had a few slices, then the "tuck under" concept doesn't keep it fresh! That being said, the end piece can be used as a tab of sorts to maintain some level of freshness.
Bryan, I tottalllly remember our book idea...sadly I think it would have ended up what He's Just Not That Into You later became...
This weekend I saw Die Hard, which I haven't seen in awhile. I love me some John McClane, but only in the early series...I wasn't impressed with Die Hard 4.
What cracked me up is how different today's work environment is from the 80s. Here's how I figure work life went: Neanderthals to pre-WW1: it was all dudes, and they ran the show WW1 and WW2: women were stuck working out of necessity, not 'cause they had to prove anything 1950s: men took their pants back and women (in their infinite wisdom, which I wish stayed this way) were like "eff the workforce, if I gotta cook for you mofos then I'm going to do it on my terms...wearing a polka-dot dress and using my new Maytag oven"
1960s and 1970s: birth control pills REALLY take off, women are so high on drugs they think entering the work force is a GOOD idea (and so is the birth of the 2-income society. Just effing fabulous).
1980s: with the exception of coke, women are pretty much sober but realizing that if they're gonna be in the workforce, they want to be at the TOP of the workforce...if that means dressing like a dude, so be it.
1990s: dropped the coke, less shoulder pads, bright colors a la In Living Color Fly Girls, while the birth of the Sensitive New Age Guy emerges
2000: we all just blend into the same working drones
So back to Die Hard, which obviously took place in the 80s. The scene is some 1980-something holiday party. The Hot Chicks of the office were blond. The Smart Chicks of the office were brunettes with big massive glasses and bad perms. Both Hot Chicks and Smart Chicks wore scrunchies even if they wore suits. Men snorted coke on the job. This was pre-sexual harassment era, so people were free to express themselves through groping and desktop "activities". Everyone looked 'roided out thanks to massive shoulder pads. You could actually SMOKE in the office. Did no one back then think ANY of this was just a LITTLE BIT EFFED UP?!
Even though I've seen the movie a trillion times, I completely missed this wonderful gem of a scene: Hans: The following people are to be released from their captors : In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec... In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement... Karl: [mouthing silently] Asian Dawn? Hans: [covers the radio] I read about them in Time magazine.
Alright, enough man...err, woman-love for John McClane...
I swear, whoever created spam should be shot. No wait, they should be forced to go through and personally be responsible for DELETING the spam that exists in my inbox....mutha effa.
So I have a bunch of random email accounts: yahoo, gmail, canada.com, hotmail, whatever...i have two yahoo accounts, one of them I used to use on occasion 10 years ago but now the only reason I even have it is 'cause it's my login for Amazon (that's where I was registered when I got married, and i've been too lazy to sync up that accuont with my regular yahoo email).
ANYWAY it's pretty much all spam, which on occasion I try to wipe out. Well I decided it's time to bring back that email account, and I'm going through all 3000 spam messages...problem is, I needed to filter out the ones from Amazon (that leaves Amazon.com, "auto-confirm@amazon.com", and the sneak peek emails i get from Cirque du Soleil)...
you'd think I'd be able to just select ALL and click SPAM, right? Sadly, no...yahoo email has some bug where it'll ask "are you sure you want to set all the mail to spam", if you select YES then nothing happens. So i'm trying to go through and highlight them all (using the new Yahoo Email format, where it looks like Outlook), but i'm on a crazy slow computer and the past HOUR has been spent trying to highlight a bunch, then click SPAM...
The slow computer is part of the massive computer problems we had way back when (see entry here)...it's actually gotten worse. Since I last posted, the "good" desktop PC's hard drive completely stopped spinning. So now i'm back on the crappy slow desktop PC, until I can either get an external hard drive or external CD burner to back up the personal info...after all the hard drive issues, i really want to get an external burner but those suckers aren't cheap (and i really don't feel like installing an internal burner onto this crappy PC only to later have to remove it and install it on the good PC).
Computer DRAAA-MAAAA...
Speaking of drama, some people make fun of me 'cause i'm in a book club. Y'all can suck my balls, at least I'm reading for God's sakes. Thank the lord for Meetup. Anyway, a whole bunch of stuff went DOWN...oh yes, people in the book club were ready to rumble. In the grand scheme it was all just chick drama, but it proves a few things: 1. Women are naturally drawn to drama. There's no effing WAY a guy's book club would ever have had this much drama. (Then again, no dude would join a male-only book club). 2. Women will bitch about ANYTHING. 3. Large gatherings of women creates nothing more than a clusterf*ck (i hate that word, but i can't think of a better way to describe it).
I wouldn't change items 1 through 3 for anything...
I vowed to write more often and I haven't written in awhile. Funny how your brain goes into crazy overdrive after you give your 2 weeks notice. Friday was my last day, it was pretty emotional and the happy hour after was fantastic (okay, i'm biased since i was drunk as hell).
I sorta feel like I just got out of a relationship. One of those "oh, it's me not you" types. I love the people, but...it just wasn't for me. Not anymore. I'm not the same person as I was at the start of that relationship, and I've felt for awhile like we've grown apart. Still, I feel a little cranky like one feels after a breakup, like "oh, what could have been"...sigh.
In other news, I'm watching the red carpet...PLEASE Jon Stewart, be better than the red carpet crap...although dumbass actors didn't find Jon funny last time...I swear, Hollywood is the LEAST hip place on the planet. It's like you have to be a certified tool in order to make it as an A-lister. That excludes Steve Carrell and George Clooney, who seem pretty straight up.
Wow, Miley Cyrus needs someone to razor down her effing teeth, she looks like she's going to eat Ryan Seacrest.
Jennifer Garner irritates me to no end, but DAYAM she looks great.
It makes me feel good that Jessica Alba looks forgettable. Granted she looks better than anyone ever will pregnant, but still.
Heidi Klum looks so hot, I'd bone her.
I want Xenu to come down and stomp on John Travolta. Him and Kelly Preston irritate the crap out of me, she was digging for compliments when Ryan Seacrest said her dress was "road signal yellow" (or something like that) and she asked "Does that mean I can stop traffic?"...yeah honey that would work if you're 20, not when you're...well at least as old as Xenu.
Ohhhhh Faye Dunaway, she looks like a knockout for an older broad. See Kelly Preston, you need to see how Faye does it...Faye looks like she's ready for a romp in the back of a limo.
How much damage could $22 do to your credit rating? I had a score of like 760, and it brought me down to like 500-something.
It makes a HUGE difference, my score is more sensitive than others because i'm already being dinged for only having a few years of credit history. Fortunately my score went back up with teh other credit bureaus after a few years, except for Experian.
It made enough of a difference that I couldn't get on the home loan when we refinanced...hence why i had to get it back in shape for the Big Refinance 2009.
I was surfing the web and was reminded of an old Molson's commercial:
Their marketing is sheer genius, I don't think they ever made a bad commercial. They made me want to drink beer and I don't even LIKE beer. You can't get a better tagline (for canadians) than "I AM CANADIAN"...and they've single-handedly managed to corner the beer market for Canada Day (the number on thing Americans do on July 4th is BBQ and watch fireworks. Canadians...drink and watch fireworks. No time to eat. No one said we were a civilized society.)
I really should have bought that lottery ticket yesterday. Around 1am I couldn't stand Kraig's snoring so I went down to the couch to sleep there, only to realize I was pretty awake because I had crashed at 6pm for a super long nap. Lo and behold, after watching some random stuff (and the rest of Cashmere Mafia which I should be shot in the head for enjoying), I discover that Ryan Reynolds is on Conan.
Sadly, he wasn't THAT funny like he usually is in stuff...but funny enough. And i was so tired i didn't care what he had to say.
Dammit really should have bought a lottery ticket.
I don't like posting job stuff up on my blog but since this is pretty major I might as well alert the masses...I gave my 2 weeks notice on Monday. I won't list the new job details here, but it's in Irvine and i'm gonna be a project manager...for a totally different industry. I'm pretty freaked, tech writing I could go anywhere and figure the stuff out pretty quickly, but this is a brand new world for me. Eep.
Anyway, that was one of my "goals" for January/February, which thus also means that I've sort of put my other monthly goals on the side 'cause seriously, interviewing wipes you out. All that smiling and being peppy and acting like you're the most fabulous person on earth...it's like your own Miss America pageant. You dont' think of the TRUE answer to give, you think of the RIGHT answer to give, what they want to hear, all while looking flawless and flashing yer teeth.
Interviewing results in a very cranky Sabina. I feel like I need to get extra bitchyness out of my system to even things out.
In other news, check out the very bottom of the page...yes, the year's goal of 15K paid down on the home equity loan is almost down by half...and it's only February. The only reason I was able to pull that off was 'cause a CRAPPY CD i got a few years ago (seriously, the rate was only like 3%) expired, and i hauled ass yesterday to the bank to make sure they didn't roll it over into another crappy CD. Feelin' good.
To top it all off, I've been griping for years now about one dumbass sorta-error on my credit report...a stupid $22 water bill...recap: I paid my utilities with my rent...and they claim they didn't get the payment, i tried to get a hold of my old apartment complex to get them to have my back. Turns out, it got bought out and underwent a condo conversion, no one anywhere had any record I existed or lived there. So, even though i eventually paid it as soon as I found out about it (although i'm sure i already DID pay it, damn apartment people), it's been a huge ding on my credit score ever since. Other than that, my score is flawless...the only thing stopping it from being 850 is that I don't have a huge credit history in the US.
ANYWAY...i've tried disputing it and it's gotten me nowhere...well 2 months ago I did my usual "hmmm wonder what's up in my credit score report these days" and bought my reports again...and only one of the three bureaus still shows that damn alleged delinquent bill. I decided to attempt to put the smackdown again and filed a dispute. Those mother effers don't make it easy, they only give you like EIGHTY characters to state your claim. That gave me one whole sentence to pretty much say "The original bill was paid through my rent cant get a hold of them for proof" or something retarded like that.
Well, long story short: I won! Finally! Experian saw in my favor. Oh happy day! That's been a pain in my ass for years.
Refinance Your Loan with the damn bank or lender...or whoever the f it is.
I think you have the (excuse me) balls to do this. And it works. But WTH you can't lose. Banks right now, and lenders, DO NOT want any more property. They can't handle it. You walk in, get past the desk people and say you need to talk to someone with authority. Cry and tell them you are about to let the bank have your f-n house if they don't sit down and do some dickerin with you. Take a picture of your home, tell them your ready to leave it with them and start all over. Tell them you want some relief from this f-n mistake, that your upside down 70k or whatever and have to have some interest relief. Tell them your husband is against it, but you will leave him too. (This is a lie) Walk in with a foreclosure sign, leave the picture with your phone number on the desk of the person you are talking to, and tell them you did not come to debate, you came to share your desperation and get some relief one way or another. I gurantee you he will call you on your cell phone before you get home and say..let's talk. We don''t want your house. (The further under water you are, the better it is for your bargaining power.)
Ummm yeah the flaw in your logic is that to do something crazy drastic i'd have to miss at least a single home payment...which I will never do.
And it's not like Countrywide doesn't have my income statements...we CAN afford our payments.
I also dont' want to get stuck in another crappy loan situation, which is exactly what people with bad credit (i.e. missed home payments) and foreclosures are getting in order to keep their homes and loans.
I have good credit. I can afford my home...now... My adjustable rate expires beginning 2010. If i didn't have an interest-only loan i'd still be stuck paying principal, so that's what i'm doing now. I'm not going to see if they'll call my bluff if I start missing payments (which would be necessary in your scenario for them to believe i'm in dire straits), scream i'm going to foreclose, then force them to give me another bizarro loan created only because of this crazy market. People just need to hurry up and foreclose, so that other people can buy crazy cheap, and then things will even out. It's this slow awful death that's ruining things. I'm not upside down in anything yet...i'm not selling, i'm just hoping to make it easier to refinance.
I would sooner beg my aging parents for money AND my mother in law before I ever miss a home payment.
I posted this here instead of in the comments section 'cause I started to write so much I figured it deserved a blog entry :)
So with all the rate cuts there is no way you & Kraig could refinance into a better loan situation?
Nope, that's why I have to pay down my HELOC loan asap...our loan-to-home value is crappy (at least before it had gone up a little bit, the last home that sold with roughly the same floor layout was $70K less than what we paid). So...no refinancing and locking in a rate until I pay down the home loan. I wish I could refinance! I wouldn't have that damn ticker at the bottom of the page.
So the goal isn't to get into a "better" loan situation...i just want ANY loan situation that would be a fixed rate, which isn't going to happen at all with the current snapshot of our mortgage.
They're alot more strict about giving out refinanced loans...Carrie i'm sure can attest to that (she still had to jump through hoops and her home didn't go down at all and she's got perfect credit).
Yee haw! Check out the very bottom of this blog...over 1/3rd of teh paydown goal completed! Plus I realized that I also need to start saving up well in advance for our property taxes (trying to scramble and pay off a $6000 property tax bill last minute is no easy task!) so there's 1/6th of that is put aside now as well.
Damn you crappy housing market...I will not go down without a fight.
Today I saw Cloverfield. You know, the movie that had a big buzz because no one knew anything about it.
This should be easy. I couldn't stand it.
NOT because it wasn't entertaining...it was very entertaining, very different, great script.
I couldn't stand it because it was filmed in handy-cam format, a la Blair Witch. I avoided Blair Witch for this very reason...I get motion sickness pretty easily, and this movie was pretty brutal for it. The ENTIRE movie is filmed this way. The videographer is either drunk at a party or running for his life, both of which make for seriously shaky visuals.
If you have a strong stomach, then it was very good...there's not really an ending (Kraig and I differ on that. He thinks there is because there's a resolution between the love interest storyline...uh to me I need to know wtf happens with the bizarro monster plotline.)
Fortunately the theater was empty so I was able to push some of the armrests up and lay on my side while we watched it, otherwise there would have been a nasty mess on AMC's floor.
I hate 99.999999999999999999999999999999999% of what's out there on YouTube, but praise the person who posted this of Sarah Silverman singing...well you decide. Every time I see it I start busting up.
So Marlene asked me why id idn't blog about Heath Ledger...two reasons: 1. I already got all my emailing and freaking out done that day, i didn't really have anything to comment on. 2. I don't like the crap about "oh there were pills by his bed" (well no kidding, Kraig takes medication for his cholesterol before bed isn't that front page news?!) and "he was probably heartbroken over his separation from Michelle Williams" (really? He was dating Gemma Ward...i think a 28 year old hollywood actor can get over an ex girlfriend pretty easily)...
So Anderson Cooper summarized pretty much what I was thinking: “For the last two nights we have reported on actor Heath Ledger. His shocking death is clearly a story a lot of people are interested in, but tonight we will not be reporting more on it. The truth is there is not really anything new to report.
The full results of the various tests done on Mr. Ledger will not be ready for perhaps a few weeks and there is very little new information. I have no doubt other networks will spend a lot of time tonight discussing his death and the various rumors about what might have caused it, but I am not a fan of speculation, so unless there is something really new to discuss we probably won’t be covering it anymore anytime soon.”
Happy New Year, Sabina I check your post now and then to catch up on life on the West Coast.
I had a pretty sorry post the last time I wrote WTF I felt bad and took it out on you. Sorry.
I hope you vote for Obama and not Hillary, or Romney and not McCain.
I wonder if you have ever heard of a pretty famous church near you...called Saddleback. I think they did something recently for all the folks during the fire...and I think Hillary spoke there, too. Do you know anything about Saddleback?
First off, this makes me an a-hole for ranting back. Please folks, don't apologize for the stuff you write to me...it's a free country. Hmmm, but it IS my blog. Ahhh well, don't apologize. If I don't like you, I'll just create a website dedicated to what a douche you are. So far that hasn't happened yet, so it's all good.
Yes, Saddleback is nearby...don't know much about it though...
So everyone on the planet knows my fiasco with the AWFUL dry cleaners that ruined my White House Black Market dress...in case you don't, just know that you should boycott with every bone on your body:
Dry Clean Express 23842 El Toro Road, Unit C, Lake Forest CA 92630 949-457-1800
I mean, come ON...one employee flat out said to me "what do I know about fabrics? I'm a guy!"...to which my reply was: "You're a DRY CLEANER...you're supposed to know fabrics!" and he had no reply.
Anyway, I should have taken it to my USUAL spot...View Cleaners in Ladera...I meant to take my other dress there but it's not like i drive to ladera all the time and on Saturdays I always forget, then Sundays they're closed...
I dropped off my NEW White House Black Market dress (courtesy of my wonderful girlfriends who were sick of listening to me bitch about the old dress that got ruined lol) and the lady was SO nice, and was like "of course we inspect the dress when it comes in...if it were damaged we wouldn't even bother"...EXACTLY! And then I just called to confirm it was ready and with a pleasant voice she was like "yep, it's ready one item for pickup!"...
At the other place, their idiot employee Fidel would have been like "i don't know...maybe...i dont' know...i'll call you back"...incompetence is not acceptable.
Anyway, I just wanted to give props where props is due!
(knowing my luck i'll pick it up and it'll get damaged...dammit.)
I'm not sure I agree with that, the term customers isn't mutually exclusive to either Sellers or Buyers, they are both customers of eBay.
I disagree. A customer is someone who's dishing out the dough...you, as a buyer, don't spend a dime to ebay. Now I do think Ebay has a responsibility to ensure that their sellers are legit, and that the items are legit, but the "true" customer is not the bidder but the seller.
When you purchase something on ebay, ebay is not responsible for the item itself, for shipping it, for making sure you're happy. That's the seller. The bidder can be considered Paypal's customer, sure, but basically Ebay's interest in keeping bidders happy is because they need to keep things legal and kosher in order to make their marketplace not look like some underground crack den.
I used to adore ebay, but because of all the bad seeds out there the whole thing is just jacked. I used to use Yahoo Auctions back in the day, but that caved when Ebay became uber powerful. I will probalby always use Ebay until there's another alternative...but I don't have the same "fun" as I used to.
Ebay enjoys taking money from the sellers and then stepping back and only involving itself when necessary (that excludes Paypal, which I actually have had very good experiences when it comes to getting effed over with my money...but i attribute it to their legal team and that paypal wasn't owned by Ebay initially). One prime example is how it's being sued by Tiffanys...
Ebay takes a stance that its not responsible for fake items on ebay...well Tiffanys disagreed and discovered that 75% of the items on ebay listed as Tiffanys jewelry is fake. Ebay claims it's just a forum...but it's NOT just a forum. They make money off the fake stuff too...the more fake stuff, the more ebay makes.
I think I lost alot of respect for them when they purchased Skype...NOT because they needed it, but because Google wanted it and if Google wants it, then Ebay HAS to have it (so an insider told me at the time). I just really question the people running the show.
Before I begin the review, I must note that I've never seen the original tv show nor did I even know there WAS a tv show.
Strangers With Candy...how can I describe this bizarro movie? Well let me start by saying it's got Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert, the two people everyone should have in your life.
The gist is a super odd nutty ex-convict returns home only to find her mom died, her dad remarried, he's in a coma, her stepmother has the family butcher over for dinner all the time. Her dad's doctor suggests that if Jerry (Amy Sedaris) can un-do her years of crime/suffering then her dad will awake from his coma.
She goes back to high school and decides that if she can win the science fair, she can get her dad out of his coma.
I can't begin to explain how hard I laughed during this movie. I mean, I actually FRIGHTENED myself with how much I laughed. Then again, that was the first half...the second half, Kraig and Chris came home and that sorta ruined my comedy mojo.
There's alot of little hidden jokes in this movie...during one scene with kids in a science class, I realize in the way back corner of the wall the teacher (religious nut Chuck Noblet played by Stephen Colbert) is the periodic table of the elements re-arranged to form a cross. LOVE IT!
Plus this line alone had tears pouring down my face: Geoffrey Jellineck: You pushed me away! Chuck Noblet: I wasn't pushing you away, I was pulling me toward myself.
If you have an effed up sense of humor, you will absolutely adore this movie. Then again, since I didn't know anything about it my standards were pretty low, but for a clearly low-budget movie, it was brilliant.
The cast is pretty tightly linked...Amy Sedaris was on Sex and the City, as was obviously Sarah Jessica Parker, who's married to Matthew Broderick...Kristin Johnston also played a small role on Sex and the City...
The true gem of the movie is Principal Blackman. I have no idea who the actor is, but he does a phenomenal job. Principal Blackman: Why would I doctor the books to improve the overall test scores of the student body just so I could collect bonus funds from the state which I willfully misappropriated in order to pay off large gambling debts? It just doesn't add up!
Just perusing the ebay seller board (I figure, I've sold enough stuff and i sell more than I buy, i deserve to provide my input...i've been on ebay since 1999), someone posted this:
Well, Ebay has forgotten who its customers are. We, the sellers, are Ebay's customers. But they protect buyers (who are our customers, not theirs) over sellers (their customers) almost every time. Their business model depends on extracting fees from sellers -- even from a buyer's scam -- and they really seem to have no interest in protecting this community or the sellers who make it up.
