I better win something more than Souplantation

Today's hair drama: dang, I'm an idiot...i left the flat iron on for too long and it got too hot and i burned my scalp. Good times, good times...

Instead of bitching, i just want to say that La Roche Posay's SPF 45 sunblock/moisturizer is fabulous...you can't find it in the US, but dammit they should sell it...i should have bought more and then sold them on Ebay.

A few thoughts on the VMAs:

Oh Gwen...i'm so sorry. I do think Kelly Clarkson has some good songs, and I do love "Since You've Been Gone", but nothing beats your album...you should have won.

Diddy...forget what everyone else says. I love you man.

Mariah: you do have a beautiful voice, and I'm glad you didn't lip sync this round, but dang girl...you're ginormous.

Shakira...girl...you've got mesmerizing belly-dancing skills...but you were boring as hell last night becuase you didn't USE THEM!

And wtf was Ricky Martin there for? I know he lives in MIami and all, but still...my grandmother lives there and you didn't see her at the VMAs.

Disclaimer: okay my Grandmother doesn't live in miami, but i was trying to make a point.

WTF was Jessica Simpson wearing? I'm totally down with when people try to experiment...Ashlee went off the beaten path and it was cute, but Jessica looked like a hooker with bad hair. And neither of them should say they're from the "dirty south"...no girls, you're white, not from anywhere that has soul.

RKelly...no...oh good LORD no. No no no. bad all the way. If you mouth the words with a microphone, at least it's lip synching. When you do it without one...now you're just trying to be a mime.

I LOVE YOU DIDDY! YOU DA MAN!

Going to try and sneak out of work now....

Cleaning Day

SEE...this myspace loser user is exactly the reason why i hate that stupid site. And i also hate that the idiot who sent me his "friend request" is shirtless in the picture...HEY JACKASSES OF THE WORLD...women don't give a ((bleep)) to see a half/full naked pic of a guy...

I see guys with fantastic bodies at the gym every single time i go...trust me, i don't need to see your stupid itty bitty picture of you shirtless, and you've got alot of balls to think you shirtless is going to make anyone want to add you to their stupid friend list.

In other words, i think most men are RETARDED.

On another note, I was thinking about some random songs yesterday while stuck on the 5....

You know there's songs that will ALWAYS bring you back to a certain spot in life...here's a random few:

Glory of Love and You're the Inspiration: yes one's just Peter Cetera while the other is Chicago, but that dude's voice is pretty powerful, even though one song practically sounds identical to the other. That dude knows EXACTLY how to make you wish "mother effer, i'd die for a white knight to come save me right now" (whether "save" means saving you from a bad relationship or saving you from the horrible musak at the mall).

Groovy Kind of Love: I don't even think it's THAT great of a song. But every single time i hear it, I think "that's my song with ((insert bf of the moment))"...heck, i don't even have loyalty to whatever guy i associate with that song but damn, that song makes me all giddy in love every time i hear it.

I don't want to cry (Mariah Carey): after I dumped my friend Bryan in elementary school, he made me a mixed tape (awww, everyone's gotta either make or receive a mixed tape at some point when you're a kid) and this song was on it...I hate the song, and i thought he was an emotional sap for making it ((sorry Bryan! I still love you anyway!)), and yet every time i hear that song I think of him and school dances.

Making Love Out of Nothing at All (the original, not the stupid dance remix): everyone in high school knows why this song is stuck in my frickin' head forever. Which is too bad, because it's a fabulous cheesy song to sing to at the top of your lungs in your car. Every time it gets to:
I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
And I can make all the stadiums rock
I'm pretty much hoarse 'cause i'm trying to match Air Supply's passion at that moment.

And onto the last two (as i'm already proving what a big loser I am)...

Wicked Games: Not associated with any event, person, moment...but that song can single-handedly make me drunk just from listening to it. I've never heard it at a bar/lounge, but if i did i'm sure i'd melt right into the floor, it's the sexiest song ever made...it turns me to pure putty every time i hear it.

And the number one most "impactful" song (if that's a word, which it's not)....

Hands to Heaven: every time i hear that song, no matter where i am, the grocery store, a bar, the car, whatever...I stop dead in my tracks and my brain just freezes and I hold my breath until I can't hold it any longer. It reminds me of my first boyfriend, that first love, and our long distance relationship and how much it ripped me apart every time we had to say goodbye...

And if i saw him on the street today, 10 years after breaking up, i would STILL beat him with a crowbar and gouge his eyes out and kick his nuts till they burst. Yes, i still hate him THAT much.

But that song still brings me back to that first love, that moment where you realize your heart aches a thousand percent for someone else.

WEll...at least until you discover he's a whore, and he got it on with both women AND men....

Sigh. good times!

I hate myspace

note to self: replace picture 'cause the one that's on this site right now blows goats

you know, i'm NOT a fan of MySpace, mostly because it's just one big stupid meat market and an opportunity for skanks to show naked photos of themselves and for guys who are too much of a loser to meet regular girls to be flirtatious online.
And an excuse for BAD BAD UI....c'mon people, dark font on a dark background is NOT something people want to see. Nor do i want to read white text when you've got photos as your backdrop. And i really do hate cursors that are all sparkly and have crazy stuff that follow my mouse movements.

AND i think it's an excuse for people to be selfish...like, do you really think i give a f*ck about you to read all your interests and sh*t?! If you're my real friend, i know your interests and crap anyway. And if you're not, please...i know you're not reading my list of favorite movies and i'm definitely not reading yours.

However on that note, i do get the odd "hey baby get naked with me" messages, not that often since i've only got like 11 friends (and yes, i do know them all) so you'd have to be a perverted friend of someone i know or you'd have to actually search for me...

And i get those messages from both men and women, which i find hilarious since um yeah it's not like in "real" life a chick has ever hit on me. Whatever.

But...i did get this message today:
my name is John..and i saw you pics..and u are amazingly beautiful. And i would love to become or try to become a myspace friend. Well, i am a crazy, fun...never bored, spontaneous...very creative and athletic individual. I love rugby..as you will tell by my profile. Sorry..i am addicted, for some weird reason. I love music and love to dance and make people laugh. If you think you would like to give me a try (at friendship), al you have to do is just reply. And dont worry..i dont bite on the first email. But, watch out on your 2nd or 3rd one. I cant promise nothing.

J

Which of course is probably some cut/paste thing that this dude does to anyone who's in their 20s with boobs...but that being said, if i were a chick who didn't realize that guys do that kind of thing (if you're on match.com ladies, ALL your messages are copied/pasted unless they really do comment on everything in your posting...I would actually "accept" this guy as a friend. Very, very well written, not skanky, not "hey i'm looking for an easy lay"...

Which most guys don't realize...that IS the secret to getting laid. Pretend to be the charming nice guy who doesn't want sex and just wants your friendship, and watch how fast she undresses.

I practically feel like writing this guy and giving him kudos for a well-written introduction, and i sure hope he DOES get some play....

And on a final note: the other reason this guy is good is because he doesnt' have "118 friends in _'s network"....he has like 27, which is decent (becuase it means he's not hitting up every naked girl picture and asking to be added as their friend).

Conclusion: Out of a thousand guys on myspace...this guy GETS it.

eschew obfuscation

I'm in a bitchy, bitchy mood again today. Probably because the flat iron left kinks in my hair because i was in such a rush this morning.

Had to give a "dental dam" explanation this morning...at least that made me laugh!

I'm going to lunch today with VPs/CEO/bigwigs because the exec assistant to the CEO is quitting...now i'm not like some people that think, "oh crap why did I just say that"...I actualy rarely regret the things i DO say, as retarded as they sound.

I regret the things I don't say. And there's this stupid pressure (okay, it's just me, i admit) that if you've got the CEO/VP/whatever in your presence, you should "wow" them.

I don't do "wowing" very well....because i tend to stutter...

Watched Sweet Home Alabama last night, saw it in the theater and I have NO IDEA why I chose to watch it again last night ((probably because i needed to kill time before going to the gym...i hate going to the gym before 10pm))...Oh Reese, what were you thinking? Legally Blond was fabulous....SHA is just awful.
And i would have TOTALLY stayed with rich hot Patrick Dempsey over Josh Lucas (maybe because i'm a stickler for a guy who SHAVES....)....wtf.

Holy CRAP it's effing cold in this office....

Maybe i'm bitchy because i opened the bottle of Diet Pepsi that was sitting in my car for a week (one of the big 2L bottles) and it was like i set off a Pepsi Sprinkler in my kitchen...I just sat there drenched, me and my Bounty paper towels, because it was such a big psycho disaster. HALF the bottle sprayed in my kitchen...and on me...and you know what? Bounty is not so much the quicker picker upper as they claim to be.

Okay that's it for my random bitching for today...

Back from Canadaland

UGh the griping that's been building up.

Although I don't have much to say, because anyone that needs to know anything already knows it.

If that makes sense.

The Hydroderm test is done...i'm finished with the bottle...End result? Save your cash...in fact, I've acquired two MORE wrinkles since.

They should pay ME for each new wrinkle I get while using their mother effing product.

So now I'm back to using concentrated crap from L'Oreal and Oil of Olay, and will soon splurge on the good stuff from Caudalie...if red wine is good for your health, the stuff from red grapes slathered on your skin MUST be good, right?

On the subject of beauty...

So my fantabulous friends Syl, Anj, and Stacey got me a ceramic flat iron for my bdy (probably because they know i'm a cheap bastard who would never splurge like that on something for myself)...and dang everyone loves my hair now. Carrie even said she wanted hers to look like mine. Sniff...i love you guys...you know how traumatized i was over the hair cutting thing.

See, it's all about the blob...or the bun...i.e. the ugliest way you can put your long hair in order to unattract members of the opposite sex.

Completely off topic: had the funniest frickin' convo with a friend from San Jose about dental dams...yes, there ARE multiple ways you can ummm use one of those things down there. Go figure. And I promised to get all MacGyver and figure one method out after I visit my dentist on September 10th.

Note: I don't NEED to use a dental dam...but...I'm willing to try stuff out for the sake of womankind and of course, in the name of science.

Ungripe moment: Woolite for Darks is fabulous.

Once, sub-zero...now, plain zero!

If i haven't said it before, i'll say it now.

Running Man is like, the best movie EVER.

Second only to Clueless.

Let's recap the best movies ever (in no particular order):
Clueless
Running Man
Desperado
Footloose (I hate admitting this, but it is SO entertaining when it's on TV)
Bad Boys ("Mike Lahhhhhryyyyyy")
Anything Disney except Hunchback and Hercules

And honorable mentions go to Legally Blond, Bring It On, and Terminator and T2.

Golden Arches

So there's this article on Yahoo! News about some person who lost weight on McD's food.

First off, the TITLE says "Some try to lose weight at McDonald's" even though it's just an example of ONE person who lost weight.

And to compare against that Spurlock guy isn't fair, because he was already in fabulous shape, and then gained weight...so yeah sure if you're already overweight and out of shape, then you're basically going to still lose enough weight to match Spurlock's overweightness post-eating.

Anyway, that's actually not my rant.

MY rant is that I used to work there briefly as a teen, and mother effer...I gained a boatload of weight. The uniforms were horrible (although thankfully we did get brand new polos, but the pants were "used", and they were made of this highly-flamable fabric that did NOT stretch when your thighs expanded) and they SHOULD have had elasticized waistbands.

or maybe they did, but i gained so much that the waistband became irrelevant

And it's not like I worked dinner shift...which would make sense because that's like, mega unhealthy stuff (back in the day, they didn't have all the pseudo-nutritious options they have now...)...I always switched with everyone for the breakfast shift. Even though yuo had to be at work for 4:30am, at least you came home smelling like hotcakes...as opposed to your car reeking of big macs after driving home. PLUS i would always offer to do "Lobby", which is the crummy job of mopping the dining area and taking the trash out. So you think, who would be the idiot to do the janitor job? Well it's WAY less stressful...i mean, McD's aren't huge and passing a mop through main areas for two seconds is a no brainer (although yes, doing it in winter when muddy slushy stuff camei n was pretty bad), and then you think "well taking the trash out must suck, right?"...nope, not when you empty it after every 2nd person...then it didn't get all gross or heavy or drip stuff. And Lobby people NEVER touched the bathroom...or at least, I didn't...so getting paid to mop randomly and take out 1lbs trash for a few hours was awesome.

HOwever...how i still gained weight is beyond me. Probably because at 50% meals, you found ways to eat ALOT of hotcakes. Their pancakes were awesome.

ANyway then I took a leave of absence for a new job i got, (a "forever 21" type hoochie place), and after months of being gone I put my uniform back on for one last shift before writing my resignation on a McD's napkin (you know...the papery ones with an arch on them), and the pants were SO loose.

So really, I do truly believe that McD's pumps fat through the air. And i'm only half kidding. I think even a glass of water there has elements of fat in it.

At best, when you drive by...keep your eyes down and don't make "eye contact"...then you might be saved from the weight those golden arches will push on you. Damn Ronald.

28 + 1

Freak out moment here.

Flashback 2 days ago...when I was 27...i had TWO wrinkles on my forehead. TWO. And yes, they were there.

Last night i looked...now there's 3 on my forehead and one in my brow furrow...

That practically put me in a straightjacket last night.

It's not that I'm vain...I mean, maybe if I looked like Jessica Alba I would be...but I'm very particular about perceptions about me, and when you have wrinkles there's an automatic perception about you. I mean, when you see TONS of wrinkles, don't you think "old, frail, and possibly mentally-gone"?! I've never seen someone with loads of wrinkles who was still witty. Oh the humanity. Not cool.

Not that botox will make me SHARP still, but as long as I can be PERCEIVED as sharp, that's all i care about.

Dang dang.

side note: i'm frickin' starving.

Pre Birthday Panic

Just a few random thoughts for today.

So my birthday is tomorrow, and I"m having a FREAK OUT about my age. Yadda yadda, 28 isn't that old..oh yeah mother effer? Ask a 16 year old if that's old.

Exactly.

And this whole thing about Peter Jennings dying...I mean, i never once saw him on the news but he was 67 years old.

I'm not scheduled to retire until 67.5

Yeah yeah he smoked, whatever, I eat fries and heart disease runs in my family. Point is, WHY am I giving so much into my retirement when there's a chance i might never GET to retirement?

Who's the einstein that thought 67.5 would be a good retirement age!?! Mother effer, i'll tell you a good age....THIRTY! In face, didn't most women not last till that age 'cause they died during childbirth?! SEE I should retire BEFORE having kids!

You wanna know how frickin' old i feel? I'm actually justifying wearing padded push up bras. I've always been kind of against them...not sure why, i guess because i feel like it's overtly obvious that my boobs didn't inflate overnight.

Anyway but now i feel like i gotta step up my "game"...what game, i don't know so don't ask, but in general i need to start primping more...because i have to work harder to look semi-decent.

And then i think...you know, when you're like over 55ish...no amount of makeup is gonnah elp you. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't. It's like when your grandmother fussed about her lipstick. WEll that's great granny, but your rouge won't hide the BILLIONS OF WRINKLES AND SPEED OF LARD WALK....oh the humanity.

I have great respect for old people...in fact, i think the older you are the younger you should look, because youv'e earned it. But really now, when you're an old lady...heck, it's practically not even worth it to dye your hair, because it's all short and frizzy and pouffy and thin anyway.

OMG just shoot me now. Really.

Hyperventilating.

You call me by my new last name

Stayed up and watched some Insomniac Theater last night, and caught Gwen Stefani's video for COOL.

Now let it be known, i'm not a fan of the video for Hollaback Girl...it's a cute song but the video is just...i don't know...kinda ghetto. With a big budget.

But the video for "Cool" is fantabulous. It was like watching a movie that i didn't want to have end.

The video basically details the song, about being buddies with a guy you used to love. The guy shows up for coffee with his new gf, and they sit down and get all chatty and stuff...i can totally believe this would be Gwen's house, even though it's clearly set in some Italian-Villa-type place. The flashbacks have her with brown hair, and the hot guy looks all scummy...and then you see Gwen singing on the bed with a totally amazing 50's pinup kind of look (yeah must be nice to look amazing as either a blond or a brunette...bitch!)...

Anyway, i'm sure everyone at some point has had to be super charming to someone they once loved, and that ex-flame's new love...brilliant, brilliant video.

Unrelated note: Hydroderm is so far becoming quite a disappointment.

Better than Botox you say?

I've been in such a sleep-deprived daze lately, I haven't been able to think let alone write.

The good news is that I'm FINALLY back to a regular gym routine...I haven't had that in months since my mom came and visited...Amazing how it takes a year to look somewhat decent, and only a few months of slacking to turn into a sack of lard.

Right now I'm undertaking my own science experiment...I ordered a sample of Hydroderm, aka Better Than Botox...dang they send you a bunch of shee-at with that stuff! I got like a thousand pamphlets, the box itself was large enough to hold a small child, and even the little sample is pretty big (I'm pretty sure it'll last me more than 2 weeks).

My original strategy was to slather it all over my face and neck 2x a day, but I realized that I would run out before I could fully observe the results, so i'm sticking to just putting it around my eyes and all over my forehead...i've got 1 semi-deep wrinkle and 2 sorta wrinkles that i'm keeping my eye on. This stuff better effing work. Otherwise I really will get the real Botox...this wrinkle situtation will get out of control before I know it.

On the same note, I had also bought some L'Oreal collagen line filler thing and then an Olay line filler thingy...so if Hydroderm doesn't work, it's back to that stuff, until I can splurge on the good stuff from Caudalie.

So that's pretty much my boring blurb for today...other than my internal dialog that's telling me to return one if not both of the jackets I bought from Old Navy last night...one is their "sateen blazer", the other is their brown cord jacket...the problem is that their both puff-sleeved, which I'm pretty sure will look pretty dated by next year...and the brown cord one makes me look like a frickin' linebacker, but then again what do I know because my shoulders are ill-proportioned (they're so small that most purses barely stay on...i'm a mutant...my upper body is tiny, my lower body is abnormally larger), so maybe it's a good thing. And the sateen blazer, realistically, if i do wash it by hand, with Woolite for Darks, hang to dry, i'm sure it'll still fade and i hate the look of faded black.

The engineers here have a Furby and when they turn it on, it sings randomly...and then for the rest of the day I can't get it's "la la LAAAA...la la LAAAA" out of my head. Stupid Furby.

Comic Con

Once again, it's been awhile since I've written.

I've been pretty much in a sleep-denied haze during the day, thanks to my two cats.

And then this past weekend I went to Comic Con, aka The Biggest Nerd Slash Dork Fest In The World Located In San Diego.

So just a few random thoughts from the weekend:

Charlize Theron was there promoting Aeon Flux...that woman is GORGEOUS in real life. She looks older than me though, even though she's my age...but either way, she's like a real life Goddess.

At the Simpsons panel they talked a bit about the movie...basically in between the Futurama "straight to DVD" movie and all the season DVD releases (I guess it takes 6 months to make all the commentary for each DVD), they've barely been working on the Simpsons movie, they made a wisecrack that they had like 14 minutes of it done.

I attended some Ray Bradbury panel (only because I wanted to get a good seat for the Simpsons panel), I haven't read Farenheit 451 (or whatever it's all) but all i gotta say is that the people on that panel were OLD! They did some major dissing of Michael Moore, because he ripped off the title for Farenheit 911 and didn't give any credit to Ray Bradbury. Did I mention these guys were OLD?! Like ancient old.

I saw that Kenny Baker guy (the dude who plays R2-D2), and then this kid was all "Hey what's your name? Do you know who this guy is? That's Kenny Baker! He's R2-D2" and I didn't know who this kid was and I was like "crap crap don't get me sucked into your booth because I"m not paying $20 for R2D2's signature" and then my husband looks at the kid and goes "OMG...you're Boba Fett!"...

And then I look down at the pics (purchasable with an autograph for $20 of course) and was like, "wow...what's it like to be part of movie history" and the kid was like "I dunno...kinda cool" and i'm like "pfft you're so young you don't know what it's like WITHOUT star wars" (not that i would know...i was born in aug 1977 which is right when Star Wars came out)...and the dude kissed my hand after he made the introduction and told my husband he was very lucky, which basically means this kid was a total skeezebag charmer in the making (he's like, 15) and that he wanted someone to pay for his stupid autograph.

Saw the cast of Buffy sans Sarah Michelle...I didn't know the one guy had a twin.

Saw a bunch of people from 60's and 70's TV shows and I honestly have no idea who any of them were.

Stood in line to see the chick who plays Elvira (Cassandra Peterson or whatever) NOT for her autograph...but because I wanted to know what moisturizer she uses.

Attended the panel for Threshold (only because i wanted to get good seats for the 4400 panel), and um...not much i can say about that. It'll be on TV this fall.

Attended the panel for the 4400...the main investigator chick is actually Australian and has a thick accent...the Kyle guy is WAY thinner and shorter in real life...the main investigator guy looks much older in real life.

Okay that's pretty much all that's on my brain right now, too tired to think.

Moolah indeed

Amazingly, for someone who can gripe at the drop of a hat, I haven't had much to say lately.

I did get busted going to Costco using my friend's Nicole's card...but that's another rant for another time (and i'm still not over the humiliation of that one).

Nay, today's gripe is about money.

Or my lack of it.

I've always been a master saver. My parents are hands-down the biggest tightwads on the planet, and I learned from the best. They used to do the "do you see a money tree in the backyard" schpiel, which I never fully understood because in Canada our money isn't green so I didn't get money = green = leaves.

My mother used to WASH AND SAVE the straws from McDonald's. What's even worse, she'd try to deny it...uh Mom, you can't buy yellow and white striped straws.

My mother also used to wrap up extra slices of pizza from the Pizza Hut buffet with a napkin to take home, and made sure that each of us kids ate way beyond the point of stuff-ness. Little did I know when I was a kid that the Pizza Hut buffet is only $4.95!!!

I understand where my parents were coming from...my parents paid off their 30 year loan in 10 years, and those 10 years were brutal. I remember the day the loan was paid off...for that ONE day, my mother looked 20 years younger. All the wrinkles were gone. And then right after that they started dropping cash on redoing the floors, the cabinets, the bathrooms, and the wrinkles came back.

My mother always worked odd jobs to help support the family, but really we were a 1-income household. Well...unless you count my mother's odd jobs, and me and my brother's jobs, so I guess that makes it 4-income (but it's not like I contributed to the groceries or anything).

Now let's start with the first-time owners of California. Um yeah there's no way I'll be able to pay off this home loan in 30 years, let alone 10. Unless I start praying to the Lords of the Lottery.

So I've been reading a ton of financial books and I'm going through all the stuff that you're supposed to do...talking to a lawyer about wills/trusts/living-wills/whatever, getting quotes for additional life insurance, got a bigger safe deposit box at the bank, all that crap. Transfered my 6-month savings to a money market account that gives a higher rate. Researching more where my 401K funds are going. Even bought some stocks (yeah $200 in stocks doesn't get you too far, esp. after the stupid service charges).

And then last night I picked up yet another financial book, The Millionaire Next Door.

Riiggghhhttt....

Granted I'm reading an older edition, from like 1996 or something ancient like that. But I want to hurl myself in traffic. The statistics are unreal. LIke apparently a good number of people in America who are millionaires (well, in 1996 anyway), are AUCTIONEERS. WTF. And alot of them are men who have stay-at-home-wives. WTF.

Anyway the key to that book is that most millionaires are quite frugal. That most of them have boatloads in equity but they bought their homes for around $325K and have lived there for upwards to 20 years.

TWENTY YEARS.

Yes, my parents were able to do that. But...they have a DRIVEWAY. And a BACKYARD. And a BASEMENT for 20 years' of CRAP.

Nothing that new homes in california have.

And $325K will buy you a condo, so you're lucky if you even get a single garage, no backyard and no basement.

I'm a frugal person. Really, I am. Right now this second my top was given to me by my boss ($0), my bra is from Walmart ($5), my underwear is Hanes Her Way from Target (like $1.50 per underwear), jeans are from Old Navy ($30), socks i've had since high school ($0 based on depreciation), and boots from Payless that desperately need to be replaced ($16).

I'm a cheap bastard.

And I'm STILL scrounging to get ahead. Maybe I'm just too impatient. Or maybe I just live in a way overpriced part of the US (however one can argue that if i move to No Man's Land for cheap, I won't be able to find a job).

I just want MONEY. Badly.

That's my rant for today.

24 Hour Fitness

I had a crazy incident at 24 Hour Fitness yesterday.

Here's the background story. I'm scamming my gym membership because a) I'm uber poor and b) I refuse to pay for a 24HF membership because I think they SUCK (but that's kind of all that's around here sadly). I use one of my friend's cards. She lives in Dallas.

So as usual I go there, and the dude behind the counter has seen me before but maybe because I was still wearing non-gym clothes maybe I looked different. So he scans my card, and then goes "Wait a minute"...and stares at the screen.

I stare at the screen, in panic. I know they don't take pictures with the card...so what could he be looking at? Does it say that Nicole also just signed into the gym? Is he going to ask about my supposed Dallas address?

Then he hands it back to me and says "Next time don't come in with your mother's card".

Me: "WHAT?!!"

Him: "It says you're 31" (I'm going to be 28 in a few weeks).

Me: (shocked)..."It's called really great lotion!"

Him: "Yeah. Lotion. Sure".

So i go in the back and change, and i'm thinking "crap crap this guy works ALL the time"...

After I changed I went back over and I'm like "If you think my mother is 31, how old do you think I am?!" and he says "I don't know....15?"...

So i started mock laughing (because i'm trying to play so offended over all of this) and flash him my wedding ring and I say "I'm MARRIED"...

and then for good measure I add "And i had a baby!" (okay I don't have a kid...but lots of people my age have one or two kids so that's believable)...so he was all "Oh...whatever"...

NOw i don't know if I should be offended because he was an ASS to me...or if i should be grateful that I look 15...but see being called 20 would be more flattering than looking 15 becuase at 15, i was a gangly looking tool...or the fact I lied about having a kid, which I didn't have to do but I really felt I needed to emphasize the point, now I feel stupid for that...

Anyway. So after I worked out and I left, I said to the guy on the way out "thanks for making my day!" and he's all "Have yourself a good night, see you later!" so that means it's all good NEXT time I work out, but eep...I can't wait till the location in Ladera Ranch opens up and I can just go to another location then.

Moral of the story? I miss my Gold's Gym.

This is the story of 7 people....

I'm willing to admit that I'm an absolute teenager in my mind.

Total immaturity, I know. When I was 16 I was the most mature person ever. Sadly my maturity stopped at 16 as well.

Growing up I was all into YM, 'TEEN, Seventeen...and they always highlighted MTV and MTV shows...well in Canada we have MTV's MuchMusic and Musique Plus (the French version), which really is just nonstop music.

When I first moved to the US I was so annoyed with MTV...my knowledge of music video totally slashed big time (I have since learned that if you stay up late, you can catch that insomniac theater or whatever). And I was so annoyed that at least I got my VH1 Behind The Music fix. But then...

everything changed...

...when I got to watch Real World.

I had read about Real World (Eric Nies was ALWAYS in those teen magazines...which yes highlights my age, I know...but to my defense, the dude is still doing RealWorld/RoadRules challenges) in all those magazines, but they don't show it in Canada, so I didn't think much of it. But when I finally started watching it...OMG...I thought it was brilliant.

Now keep in mind, that maybe by the time I started watching it, the whole "wow let's get some young hot people drunk and film them" novelty had worn off, but to me it was AWESOME. And I've been addicted ever since.

Granted the last season, Philadelphia, was horrible and I missed quite a few episodes...after awhile, there's only so much "we're good looking we love our roommates let's drink yadda yadda let's talk about the meaning of life like at 21 I know anything about life" I can handle, and that season in particular there was alot of Here's The Meaning Of Life, Like, You Know What I Mean? discussions....but overall, I absolutely adore Real World.

On Tuesday we saw the first episode of Real World: Austin. I was ready to write the show off if it was going to be thin, gorgeous people...thankfully, this one isn't. I mean, part of the idea of the show is to have people from different backgrounds interact...pfft in Philly, they were ALL from the same stupid background, even having 2 gay people didn't make a diff in the intellectual stimulation of the show. But this one...I have to give it credit.

You've got the Military Chick who's definitely not stick thin and kinda butchy and has 'tude.
You've got the Virgin Hairdresser who just seems appalled by everyone's actions.
You've got the Token Hot Blonde who's excessively slutty.
You've got Exotic Girl With a Twist...she's an insane violent drunk.
You've got Token Hot Guy...which wouldn't be a big deal but DANG the dude got his face punched in the first episode and his bone completely moved in (they showed the X-Rays, eww) and now he's all jacked up. I dig that.
You've got Token Black Guy...ahh whatever he's just the token Guy Of Color.
You've got Hillbilly Frat Boy...he's kind of useless but his excessive hand slapping with Token Hot Guy is kind of funny. And he's not good looking.

So my friends....I think Real World has redeemed itself from the past season by finding people that actually have personalities and serious psychological issues. Yee haw!

Star Wars...again

Okay, so I haven't written in awhile and now i'm going to write, again, about Star Wars.

See after seeing the last movie, and finally "getting" it, my husabnd and I had a marathon on Sunday watching Ep4 to Ep6...it got too late to watch Ep 1 & 2, plus I wanted to watch 4400.

So just a few random thoughts on it.

First off, WOW...talk about seeing all the things I didn't get before. Okay now to my defense, everything I know about Star Wars was really from when I saw it as a kid, I didn't know anything about politics or human behavior, and it just stayed with me everytime thereafter that I saw it. Like when I heard "the Empire", I thought Empire = Emperor = Royalty = Princess Diana (hey I'm Canadian...and my parents married in London so I grew up loving the monarchy).

And when I heard "Rebellion", to me, I just assumed Rebels = bad. I mean, you hear all the time about the way in Iraq and all the rebels, blah blah.

What I have noticed is that George Lucas has an obsession with arms and hands. Throughout the entire series, Anakin/Vader gets his hand cut off twice, Luke gets his cut off once, Luke's hand is then cut once (that's when he puts on that black glove), C3PO has his arms ripped off several times, and Han says the Wookies will rip your arms out of their sockets when they lose at chess (or whatever that game was).

So I guess this weekend I'll watch the first two episodes (not really lookign forward to it, Episode one was HORRIBLE), and then maybe watch the Sith movie again. I don't think Hayden Christensen is good looking when he plays normal guys...so I'll take him as the hot guy going nutty in Sith.

Ice ice baby

I know, I know, it's been ages since I've written.

Not that I'm sure anyone even reads this, but whatever...sometimes, you gotta get crap off your chest.

I meant to write more, but the past few weeks my Random Thoughts and Gripes were about work, which of course I couldn't write about without writing myself my own termination notice.

Anyway, thankfully that's all done and now I can focus on normality again.

Since I've been working late or doing stuff after work, along with all the TV reruns, I find the only way I can get my daily TV fix is by watching Nick At Night...

You have no idea how much I love the Cosby Show. And Fresh Prince. And what's said is how I still remember that intro rap to Fresh Prince.

But Cosby Show is SO timeless in its cheesy family humor. Like when Theo lied about why he didn't get to eat dinner with his team so Claire actually takes him to "court"...or when Rudy has her first day of school and made her tunafish sandwiches two weeks previous....

Genious. Pure genius.

Although it's pretty funny how times have changed. Like both Cliff and Claire come home around the times their kids come home (which to me would mean 4ish)...pfft SO not happening. Everyone I know who has kids, if they ahve dinner together, have to eat at 8pm because that's factoring in getting off work at 5 or 6 and then dealing with traffic.

And come to think of it, what if Rudy got home from school first? Hmmm...

I have serious issues with the way we work. Today a coworker was talking about how in Europe they get so much time off, blah blah....well yeah that's all great in theory but if the US is supposed to get the leader in everything economically, you're not gonna be that way if you're taking 2 months off for vacation or daily siestas. Don't get me wrong...i couldn't care a less if i'm in a country that's the #1 powerhorse of the world. BUT...if you're gonna live here, don't think that this country could survive working slacker hours like other countries. Because Lord help us all if we should actually learn to ENJOY life here.

Disgruntled much? Oh yes very much. I did the math of whenever (if ever) I should have kids, the cost of childcare...well even if i count EXACTLY 8 hours of work (which is do-able, because my husband leaves work an hour and a half after i do) which is rare because people have to factor in commuting...omg the cost of childcare is astronomical. Grumble grumble.

This is all random babbling, becuase it's almost 5pm on a Friday afternoon and I would leave work NOW if my boss didn't decide to suddenly come in on her day off.

GRUMBLE!!!!

Star Wars: Cliff Notes

An email I sent a friend telling her she HAD to see Revenge of the Sith, and that she could totally watch it without watching the other movies...my summary for her:

Yep, it’s that good…you don’t need ot watch all of them, but it helps to have seen Star Wars...otherwise, it’s pretty straightforward: from Star Wars to Return of the Jedi, it’s basically that Darth Vader is an ass and he’s ruling the world ‘cause he’s the only dude on the dark side with the force…and then this kid Luke Skywalker learns the force from his “uncle ben” and yoda (both of whom are Jedis)…and then they go to save Princess Leia, and then it turns out they’re brother sister and that Darth Vader is Luke’s dad, and Darth Vader is all jacked up and wears that suit, and Luke kills him and everything is back to normal.


Then if you go back to Episodes 1 and 2, basically it’s just “Uncle Ben” when he was younger, he and some other Jedis find Anakin Skywalker (who we guess is luke skywalker’s dad, and thus, going to be Darth Vader), and the Jedi’s are like the peacekeepers and everything is all fine and dandy and they train Anakin…and Anakin gets his groove on with Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) and we figure that since she’s the only chick in the movie, she must be Luke Skywalker’s mom…anyway turns out this whole democratic way of life gets all jacked up by this one dude who was secretly creating all these armies…


That’s pretty much it. So the 3rd movie explains how the “good” way of life got messed up, how Anakin turned evil, how Luke and Leia got separated from their mom, and why there’s no Jedis left, and the “fall of democracy” yadda yadda.

Women's Lib My Ass

Now it's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I think it's a great injustice that I have to work. Well that anyone has to work really, but of course my main focus is #1 here.

I have this belief that if the whole womens' lib movement hadn't happened, then I could be at home looking after some kids and having bonbons.

Now before anyone starts on me about how raising kids is hard, let me clarify my point. Yeah sure it's a PAIN to take care of kids, but it's not exactly rocket science. That's why you don't need a PhD to be a nanny. I do acknowledge that's it's physically exhausting, and the lack of adult companionship can certainly do a number with your brain. But there's not the pressure of working for "the man"...which is what I hate. I hate busting my butt in order to get user guides out the door by a certain deadline so that customers can pay money so that we all will still have a job tomorrow. I hate that kind of PRESSURE. And as for my rocket science comment...it's the lack of rocket science that I think makes alot of stay at home moms go batty...they're not challenging their brains and they go nuts with talk of Dora and Blue's Clues.

It's not that I want to stay at home and look after my yet-to-be-conceived children...however I figure as a working mom, you still have to panic over the kids, regardless if you're at home or not.

Here's what it boils down to...women back in the day fought hard to have the RIGHT to work. To have the CHOICE.

Well that created a dual-income society...which raised the cost of things because people at had more money...

Which made it so that there no longer was a CHOICE. I don't have a choice. I HAVE to work in order to afford to live.

I would much, MUCH rather go batty raising my own kids than go batty trying to deal with office politics, shmoozing, and product deadlines.

My coworker Doris once heard me complain and seemed very hurt...she was all "My generation sacrified alot in order to give you the choice to work"...and I was all "yeah, but i don't have the CHOICE. Now i HAVE to work. So now women are screwed".

I'm gonna be honest with you...if men were the ones having babies...they would NOT have been retarded enough to want to join the workforce.

I have to do dishes, laundry, vacuuming ANYWAY. So I might as well max out my time by doing that during the day at home. And really, babies/children are only at home for the first 3.5 years of their lives...after that it's all about nursery school, kindergarten, school. After THAT OMG it's smooth sailing...

And please don't anyone tell me that while you're kids are in school and you're home that life is hard. Because whenever I have kids in school, everything you do that's work-related during the day, I'll have to do after putting in an 8 hour workday plus 1.5 hour commute in there.

AND...to add to that...I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I can afford childcare. I'm sure back in the day when women entered the workforce, there were a ton of women who still were at home who would look after your kid for free or for cheap. Not anymore...I need to figure out how to put aside $800 to $1200 a month if I decide to have a baby.

Right now...as I sit at my desk at work thinking about the Integration Guide, Quick Start Guide, and 3 product CDs that are due this week...being a woman with the "supposed" choice to work blows.

Delicious meal called THE OC

I'm going to tell you about the most amazing show EVER.

THE OC

Two weeks ago they didn't show the OC because of the presidential speech. They did however decide to show the Simple Life. Bastards.

Anyway last night was a delicious 2 hours of Seth- whipped-cream-debauchery-attempted-rape-comic-book-whipping fun.

I have to give credit to Mischa Barton. I think she's a horrible actress and Marissa is also a boring character. However in both episodes last night she did a wonderful job.

In the attack scene with Trey, she really did a great job of conveying the sense of disbelief that anyone would show against someone they trust. In the scene where she's making out with Ryan, the director really shot the scene to bring us in where she was in...

Awesome.

There were a few flaws I noticed in both episodes. Like when Trey is on the beach and Ryan calls Marissa's cell phone. Let's be real:
1. Most teenagers have some stupid dorky ring.
2. No one's cell phone rings for hours anymore...it's called voicemail.
Plus the scene with Seth and the whipped cream...at one point Jaime King had WAY curlier hair than the previous scenes, and yet it was the same outfit and it didn't seem like she had gone home to curl her hair just for a whipped cream competition.

Ohhh I love the OC. And it must be noted that not only did SUmmer have fantastic outfits, but Kirsten had a gorgeous skirt on in one episode...dang.

LOST was also pretty good on Wednesday also...Although i'm horrible at finding out the linking behind background stories. FOr example, in Hurley's background story they mention he got rich off a box company in Tustin...the same company Locke works at. Or in the Sun's story, they show Hurley on tv when he won the lottery. Stuff like that. But the past 2 episodes I haven't been able to find the link between the stories, and it's REALLY hard to find that stuff online (I've managed a few times to find it).