Monday, December 12, 2005
To tell your future, let me look in my crystal blog
So this was a "request blog"....
On Sunday me, the NIcoles, our gay hairdressor Henri and his friend Gina went to Long Beach to see the psychic.
Mother.
Effer.
Don't even get me started on waht should have been an AM thing ended up getting us all home after 5pm....
Or how I accidentally left my Anal Beads (which I bought to prove a point to some coworkers) at the psychic....that effing sucks.
But the REAL blog is how Henry insists that every guy loves a golden shower. Guys REALLY like it. And he insists it's not just gay guys.
Now first off, this is Henry/Henri...you gotta take 99% of what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, he REALLY went into detail of waht it was like, and how you have this feeling of power, and how men love it because they feel all this warmth and...eww well you get the point.
I have never, EVER, ever had a guy request that of me. I probably would have projectile vomitted.
So i'm like "but....it's a bit MESSY don't you think?" and he said that you just put alot of garbage bags everywhere. Well first off, I used to have my cat's litterbox on a plastic garbage bag 'cause when she had diabetes, she would sometimes pee outside the box...um yeah liquid on a plastic bag is NOT easy to clean up, it spills and slips everywhere. And humans pee a boatload more than cats! So wtf!
Henry then said the bathroom...and I"m like "okay the only place that would make sense would be the bathtub. And then someone's gotta SCRUB the bathtub after. That's just not worth it!"....
I guess logistically i'm not sure how that works out. I asked my husband about this (I mean, who am I to deny my man pleasure if that's what he wants?) and he was like "uhh...no" and was clearly disapproving of me spending too much time with my flamboyantly gay hairdressor. He also pointed out taht some men like poop smeared all over them, but don't expect ALL guys to like that. I don't know why I'm even writing that last line, but I thought it was funny and he was also super annoyed with the ideas that were put in my head.
On another note, yes I'll do the Listerine test....although I really think Wintergreen mints are the tried-and-true standby. But....if Henry insists Listerine is better, then I'll do the test and find out.
DANG i'm peeved about those anal beads! Plus i had a coupon for Quizno's in the bag. Double dammit. And lol, NO i was not going to use those beads (as far as i'm concerned, that's an exit zone), it was to prove a point to some people.
One last note on the psychic....geezus....we were DYING of allergies. I barely HAVE allergies and my eyes were going to pop out of my head. We had to wait outside while each girl got her reading, because the incense, candles, and nonstop cigarette smoke was killing us. There were like 5 cats in the place and i'm sure they're going to be effed up from all that smoke. On cat had a dislocated jaw and just kept walking around drooling with it's tongue hung out. Two other cats slept in the window, and the male cat kept trying to mount the female...and she was gonna have none of that...but the poor guy just kept trying and trying to hump her...
I was so wiped after the whole day that I didn't go to the gym, instead I sat downa nd wrote 99% of all the holiday cards I had to write. I can't believe DH wasn't on, wtf.
The song of the day is Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc (it was playing on the radio)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
On Sunday me, the NIcoles, our gay hairdressor Henri and his friend Gina went to Long Beach to see the psychic.
Mother.
Effer.
Don't even get me started on waht should have been an AM thing ended up getting us all home after 5pm....
Or how I accidentally left my Anal Beads (which I bought to prove a point to some coworkers) at the psychic....that effing sucks.
But the REAL blog is how Henry insists that every guy loves a golden shower. Guys REALLY like it. And he insists it's not just gay guys.
Now first off, this is Henry/Henri...you gotta take 99% of what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, he REALLY went into detail of waht it was like, and how you have this feeling of power, and how men love it because they feel all this warmth and...eww well you get the point.
I have never, EVER, ever had a guy request that of me. I probably would have projectile vomitted.
So i'm like "but....it's a bit MESSY don't you think?" and he said that you just put alot of garbage bags everywhere. Well first off, I used to have my cat's litterbox on a plastic garbage bag 'cause when she had diabetes, she would sometimes pee outside the box...um yeah liquid on a plastic bag is NOT easy to clean up, it spills and slips everywhere. And humans pee a boatload more than cats! So wtf!
Henry then said the bathroom...and I"m like "okay the only place that would make sense would be the bathtub. And then someone's gotta SCRUB the bathtub after. That's just not worth it!"....
I guess logistically i'm not sure how that works out. I asked my husband about this (I mean, who am I to deny my man pleasure if that's what he wants?) and he was like "uhh...no" and was clearly disapproving of me spending too much time with my flamboyantly gay hairdressor. He also pointed out taht some men like poop smeared all over them, but don't expect ALL guys to like that. I don't know why I'm even writing that last line, but I thought it was funny and he was also super annoyed with the ideas that were put in my head.
On another note, yes I'll do the Listerine test....although I really think Wintergreen mints are the tried-and-true standby. But....if Henry insists Listerine is better, then I'll do the test and find out.
DANG i'm peeved about those anal beads! Plus i had a coupon for Quizno's in the bag. Double dammit. And lol, NO i was not going to use those beads (as far as i'm concerned, that's an exit zone), it was to prove a point to some people.
One last note on the psychic....geezus....we were DYING of allergies. I barely HAVE allergies and my eyes were going to pop out of my head. We had to wait outside while each girl got her reading, because the incense, candles, and nonstop cigarette smoke was killing us. There were like 5 cats in the place and i'm sure they're going to be effed up from all that smoke. On cat had a dislocated jaw and just kept walking around drooling with it's tongue hung out. Two other cats slept in the window, and the male cat kept trying to mount the female...and she was gonna have none of that...but the poor guy just kept trying and trying to hump her...
I was so wiped after the whole day that I didn't go to the gym, instead I sat downa nd wrote 99% of all the holiday cards I had to write. I can't believe DH wasn't on, wtf.
The song of the day is Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc (it was playing on the radio)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
Sunday, December 11, 2005
First, Sub-zero...now, BLOG-zero!
It's 1:00am and I want credit for going to the gym after Nicole's work party! (Of which, thanks to the wonderful world of roulette...we got enough tix to win Nicole $100!! We kicked ass tonight).
Boatloads of stuff I have to remember to blog about later when I don't have to effing shower and then wrap Kraig's gifts while he's playing D&D downstairs....
At the gym I read Cosmo, Stuff, and Budget Living...they had a mention of the video game version of Fear Factor (it was in their "oh hell no" category)...ummm yeah Kraig's company was/is making that game, and even the people MAKING it think it's retarded and will never get out the door. I find it surprising that it even got enough buzz to be mentioned in Stuff.
The song of the day is Brown Eyed Girl, 'cause I was dancing with Nicole and her coworker Erin at the tables tonight.
Props to Anna...the uber-bitchy-but-super-cool table dealer person...he was a nazi with the table but dang, she liked her style. She told a joke and when I wisecracked that it was maybe a true story, she screamed in her thick accent "OF COURSE NOT! I'M GREAT IN BED!"....Happy Birthday Anna. Hope you enjoy your champagne and men tomorrow night.
American roulette wheels have two "0's", zero and double-zero, which increases the house advantage to 5.4%. In European roulette there is only one zero, giving the house an advantage of 2.7%.
(Wikipedia)
Boatloads of stuff I have to remember to blog about later when I don't have to effing shower and then wrap Kraig's gifts while he's playing D&D downstairs....
At the gym I read Cosmo, Stuff, and Budget Living...they had a mention of the video game version of Fear Factor (it was in their "oh hell no" category)...ummm yeah Kraig's company was/is making that game, and even the people MAKING it think it's retarded and will never get out the door. I find it surprising that it even got enough buzz to be mentioned in Stuff.
The song of the day is Brown Eyed Girl, 'cause I was dancing with Nicole and her coworker Erin at the tables tonight.
Props to Anna...the uber-bitchy-but-super-cool table dealer person...he was a nazi with the table but dang, she liked her style. She told a joke and when I wisecracked that it was maybe a true story, she screamed in her thick accent "OF COURSE NOT! I'M GREAT IN BED!"....Happy Birthday Anna. Hope you enjoy your champagne and men tomorrow night.
American roulette wheels have two "0's", zero and double-zero, which increases the house advantage to 5.4%. In European roulette there is only one zero, giving the house an advantage of 2.7%.
(Wikipedia)
Friday, December 09, 2005
IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi there
MY_MOM: here is ((Childhood friend, but she was the daughter of my dad's friend)) phone nr.: xxx-xxx-xxx
MY_MOM: guess u are busy again, see u
ME: why would i call her
ME: I dont' call people.
MY_MOM: hi there
MY_MOM: well in case u are in san fran and might want to meet her
ME: okay
MY_MOM: like it doesnt do any harm to keep the number in your phonebook
ME: ok
MY_MOM: 76 us$ per person for quarbani, dad wanted to know whether u are going to send a cheque?
ME: sure. who do i make it out to?
MY_MOM: either to me, or dad.... we put the money in our account and then forward it to a person in cornwall who telegraphs it to some madrassa in india. they give the entire amount to the poor, no administration fees, everyone does it for free
ME: ok i'll send it
MY_MOM: ((my mom's full name)).... or.... ((my dad's full name))
ME: um yeah i know your name
MY_MOM: we got a joint account
MY_MOM: ((smiley face))
MY_MOM: cute smiley
MY_MOM: like here all those big so called charities deduct 20 % at least for administration
ME: ok
MY_MOM: over here its more like a business
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the president of united ways earned in the 70s already $ 100 000
ME: ok
MY_MOM: then they have to pay employees, advertising costs a fortune, then they have some big celebrity as a spokesperson, they dont do that for free either
ME: ok
MY_MOM: that way people are inspired and say.... look at that she'he does it for free.... not so, there was a thing the other day about it on tv... making people think that way
ME: ok
MY_MOM: thats how princess diana made millions, she was the spokesperson of countless charity organizations, yet everyone thought she was such an angel
ME: ok
MY_MOM: people adored her and were willing to give freely
MY_MOM: i thought so too, that they all lending their name for free until then
MY_MOM: they have so much money, i think they should do it for free
ME: ok
MY_MOM: not just expect the ordinary working people to give what ever little they can
ME: ok
MY_MOM: lol
MY_MOM: u are busy?
ME: no
MY_MOM: ok
MY_MOM: good, was a bit worried i might bother u, since u just write ok all the time
MY_MOM: but then what is there to say to that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: love that devil
MY_MOM: snowing a lot today, what are u doing this weekend?
ME: going to a friend's work party
MY_MOM: nice, have fun
ME: i plan on it
MY_MOM: sure hope u dont let others talk u into drinking booz
MY_MOM: is kraig coming too?
ME: no you can only bring one person to a company party. it's not a free for all.
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: just thought a partner can come along maybe
MY_MOM: is it a christmas party?
ME: well if i'm going with my friend, and i'm the partner, why would the partner get to bring a partner?!
ME: yes it's a holiday party
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: oh i didnt read it right, i thought it had something to do with your work
ME: no it's a friend's work
MY_MOM: i got it hehe
MY_MOM: how is my marmalade?
ME: she's fine
MY_MOM: stashi pooh still so cute?
ME: yup
MY_MOM: marmalade is so cute, wish she wouldnt have that problem, she still would be here, even dad liked her
ME: ok
MY_MOM: but if i go down to visit u people and i'm away for a while, if she would have pee'd on the sofa or anywhere else, dad wouldnt have had the patience to clean it up, he would have been mad
ME: ok
MY_MOM: he likes smokey now too, alway's worry's about him when he is outside
MY_MOM: i'm surprised how good he actually is with smokey
MY_MOM: like he wasnt that patient before
ME: ok
MY_MOM: kids are having lunch break and playing outside
MY_MOM: seems eons have passed since u went there
ME: it's been almost 20 years
MY_MOM: man oh man
MY_MOM: 20 years younger, what i wouldnt give for that
MY_MOM: i hate getting old
ME: yup
MY_MOM: yup?
ME: yup getting old is bad
MY_MOM: u dont have anything to worry yet, wish i was your age only
MY_MOM: i would kill for that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
ME: ok
MY_MOM: man i feel evil today
MY_MOM: snow stopped, sun just came out, -3, perfect ski weather today
ME: you don't ski
MY_MOM: for those that do
ME: those that do probably have to work today
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: hehe good
MY_MOM: anyway, i let u go, say hi to kraig, hug those babies of yours for me, especially a big one for marmalade
MY_MOM: have a nice weekend
ME: ok
MY_MOM: here is ((Childhood friend, but she was the daughter of my dad's friend)) phone nr.: xxx-xxx-xxx
MY_MOM: guess u are busy again, see u
ME: why would i call her
ME: I dont' call people.
MY_MOM: hi there
MY_MOM: well in case u are in san fran and might want to meet her
ME: okay
MY_MOM: like it doesnt do any harm to keep the number in your phonebook
ME: ok
MY_MOM: 76 us$ per person for quarbani, dad wanted to know whether u are going to send a cheque?
ME: sure. who do i make it out to?
MY_MOM: either to me, or dad.... we put the money in our account and then forward it to a person in cornwall who telegraphs it to some madrassa in india. they give the entire amount to the poor, no administration fees, everyone does it for free
ME: ok i'll send it
MY_MOM: ((my mom's full name)).... or.... ((my dad's full name))
ME: um yeah i know your name
MY_MOM: we got a joint account
MY_MOM: ((smiley face))
MY_MOM: cute smiley
MY_MOM: like here all those big so called charities deduct 20 % at least for administration
ME: ok
MY_MOM: over here its more like a business
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the president of united ways earned in the 70s already $ 100 000
ME: ok
MY_MOM: then they have to pay employees, advertising costs a fortune, then they have some big celebrity as a spokesperson, they dont do that for free either
ME: ok
MY_MOM: that way people are inspired and say.... look at that she'he does it for free.... not so, there was a thing the other day about it on tv... making people think that way
ME: ok
MY_MOM: thats how princess diana made millions, she was the spokesperson of countless charity organizations, yet everyone thought she was such an angel
ME: ok
MY_MOM: people adored her and were willing to give freely
MY_MOM: i thought so too, that they all lending their name for free until then
MY_MOM: they have so much money, i think they should do it for free
ME: ok
MY_MOM: not just expect the ordinary working people to give what ever little they can
ME: ok
MY_MOM: lol
MY_MOM: u are busy?
ME: no
MY_MOM: ok
MY_MOM: good, was a bit worried i might bother u, since u just write ok all the time
MY_MOM: but then what is there to say to that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: love that devil
MY_MOM: snowing a lot today, what are u doing this weekend?
ME: going to a friend's work party
MY_MOM: nice, have fun
ME: i plan on it
MY_MOM: sure hope u dont let others talk u into drinking booz
MY_MOM: is kraig coming too?
ME: no you can only bring one person to a company party. it's not a free for all.
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: just thought a partner can come along maybe
MY_MOM: is it a christmas party?
ME: well if i'm going with my friend, and i'm the partner, why would the partner get to bring a partner?!
ME: yes it's a holiday party
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: oh i didnt read it right, i thought it had something to do with your work
ME: no it's a friend's work
MY_MOM: i got it hehe
MY_MOM: how is my marmalade?
ME: she's fine
MY_MOM: stashi pooh still so cute?
ME: yup
MY_MOM: marmalade is so cute, wish she wouldnt have that problem, she still would be here, even dad liked her
ME: ok
MY_MOM: but if i go down to visit u people and i'm away for a while, if she would have pee'd on the sofa or anywhere else, dad wouldnt have had the patience to clean it up, he would have been mad
ME: ok
MY_MOM: he likes smokey now too, alway's worry's about him when he is outside
MY_MOM: i'm surprised how good he actually is with smokey
MY_MOM: like he wasnt that patient before
ME: ok
MY_MOM: kids are having lunch break and playing outside
MY_MOM: seems eons have passed since u went there
ME: it's been almost 20 years
MY_MOM: man oh man
MY_MOM: 20 years younger, what i wouldnt give for that
MY_MOM: i hate getting old
ME: yup
MY_MOM: yup?
ME: yup getting old is bad
MY_MOM: u dont have anything to worry yet, wish i was your age only
MY_MOM: i would kill for that
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
ME: ok
MY_MOM: man i feel evil today
MY_MOM: snow stopped, sun just came out, -3, perfect ski weather today
ME: you don't ski
MY_MOM: for those that do
ME: those that do probably have to work today
MY_MOM: ((devil face on yahoo IM))
MY_MOM: hehe good
MY_MOM: anyway, i let u go, say hi to kraig, hug those babies of yours for me, especially a big one for marmalade
MY_MOM: have a nice weekend
ME: ok
my blog hates myspace
I swear I rarely check my myspace page because honestly, other than reconnecting with people who I haven't from in ages there's really no point to it (It's not like i'm hooking up or anything). That being said, i do get a fair amount of people emailing me for whatever reasons and i really do reply.
That being said, i thought this was interesting, because i can't figure out if this was a typical "copy and paste and send to every chick on Myspace" or if this is actually somewhat personalized. I swear i hate myspace:
Sabina,
I just read your profile and wanted to thank you. Even if you can't get back to me (you love your husband, think he is hot and my name is not Brad) I wanted you to know:
A) you have an engaging smile
B) you filled out a great profile
C) I think I can help
Help how? By coming up with a headline for you. You deserve one. If I do so and you use it I am going to need you to get back to me and be charming. That's our deal. More on that later.
I am sitting here at work a little bored and slightly hung over, contemplating either hitting the steam room or actually working out, browsing through my new favorite toy - myspace profiles and lo and behold I see a familiar, smiling face. I open the profile and am reminded that you seem to be an interesting woman! This, of course, guarantees I will not get a response from you because that is the karma we call myspace. So if you choose not to respond and leave me with coal at Christmas, then understand I enjoyed your profile the most today.
If you do decide to respond I have a few questions:
1) How did a saeemingly down-to-earth girl like you end up in the social whirlwind of South OC?
2) No plastic surgery? Are they going to kick you out of your "community"?
3) Tanning booth, Spray on or actual sun?
4) Are thongs and g strings the same thing?
5) What do you think will go out of style first, long wife beaters or lowrise jeans?
6) Annoying cat person and annoying canadian? Good thing you are attractive.
Ok. After reading your profile and looking at the headlines of your blog have some up with......
"Great White North Meets South Orange County"
or....
"My guilty pleasures are (somewhat) innocent"
Just trying to keep it interesting, superstar. Hit me back and I might solve the mystery of me.
I gotta give the person credit...it's pretty well written (compared to the average myspace user who clearly knows JACK on how to write an email). Snaps to you "Cash".
That being said, i thought this was interesting, because i can't figure out if this was a typical "copy and paste and send to every chick on Myspace" or if this is actually somewhat personalized. I swear i hate myspace:
Sabina,
I just read your profile and wanted to thank you. Even if you can't get back to me (you love your husband, think he is hot and my name is not Brad) I wanted you to know:
A) you have an engaging smile
B) you filled out a great profile
C) I think I can help
Help how? By coming up with a headline for you. You deserve one. If I do so and you use it I am going to need you to get back to me and be charming. That's our deal. More on that later.
I am sitting here at work a little bored and slightly hung over, contemplating either hitting the steam room or actually working out, browsing through my new favorite toy - myspace profiles and lo and behold I see a familiar, smiling face. I open the profile and am reminded that you seem to be an interesting woman! This, of course, guarantees I will not get a response from you because that is the karma we call myspace. So if you choose not to respond and leave me with coal at Christmas, then understand I enjoyed your profile the most today.
If you do decide to respond I have a few questions:
1) How did a saeemingly down-to-earth girl like you end up in the social whirlwind of South OC?
2) No plastic surgery? Are they going to kick you out of your "community"?
3) Tanning booth, Spray on or actual sun?
4) Are thongs and g strings the same thing?
5) What do you think will go out of style first, long wife beaters or lowrise jeans?
6) Annoying cat person and annoying canadian? Good thing you are attractive.
Ok. After reading your profile and looking at the headlines of your blog have some up with......
"Great White North Meets South Orange County"
or....
"My guilty pleasures are (somewhat) innocent"
Just trying to keep it interesting, superstar. Hit me back and I might solve the mystery of me.
I gotta give the person credit...it's pretty well written (compared to the average myspace user who clearly knows JACK on how to write an email). Snaps to you "Cash".
My blog's five chicks he'd do....
Well I know my husband well. When i asked him to tell me his five for his laminated card a la Friends, he wrote:
Jessica Alba
Eva Longoria
Are the only two people that really jump out at me as I don’t really think about this sort of thing so I don’t try to keep mental notes on a list that is silly and would never actually use.
I take great offense to that. And he'll regret it when Jessica ALba turns him down and then say Charlize Theron attempts to seduce him.
Jessica Alba
Eva Longoria
Are the only two people that really jump out at me as I don’t really think about this sort of thing so I don’t try to keep mental notes on a list that is silly and would never actually use.
I take great offense to that. And he'll regret it when Jessica ALba turns him down and then say Charlize Theron attempts to seduce him.
Tyra, Heidi, and my Blog
I'm going to be a traitor to my gender and say that I love this commercial, and I think it's effective:
Thrill me
Surprise me
Dazzle me
Delight me
Please me
Tease me
Give me days I'll always remember
and nights I'll never forget
Give me everything I want
and nothing that I need
Give me you
you
you
It almost makes me want to roll around in bed with perfectly coiffed hair wearing Victoria's Secret. ALMOST.
Thrill me
Surprise me
Dazzle me
Delight me
Please me
Tease me
Give me days I'll always remember
and nights I'll never forget
Give me everything I want
and nothing that I need
Give me you
you
you
It almost makes me want to roll around in bed with perfectly coiffed hair wearing Victoria's Secret. ALMOST.
Oh my God! They killed my blog!
So apparently the masses are quite upset that I think Ryan Reynolds is hot. I don't see where the confusion lies....why does everyone keep saying "Ryan Reynolds?! What?!" to me?!!! The dude is super hot, he's got great hair, and he's always playing a witty-yet-sarcastic type...i dig that. Did I mention his hair?
What-eva! I do what i want!
Something to point out from Entertainment Weekly online's recap of the OC:
Dream on, dude. Matt still really bugs me. There's something about his face I don't like. It could just be his face.
YES YES YES. I knew it. He is NOT good looking. He's bizarre. He's like a messed up version of Christian Bale. He's making Ryan look hot. Actually, I'm starting to think Ryan's not that bad looking. He's no Seth....but...he's growing on me. Maybe it's because he's either around that ugly Matt guy or that skinny Johnny guy.
Maybe there should be another rule for men (speaking of Johnny)....I don't care if you got hit by a car. Stop acting like a flippin' p*ssy when you're pouring yourself water. In fact, poor people don't use glass pitchers. I know. I'm poor. I use Rubbermaid. Or my pitcher i got from the Dollar Store. So that whole "oh whoa is me i slipped and broke glass Marissa can you help me" thing is BS. Ryan's got nothing to worry about...Johnny crashed his way into the Friend Bucket on his own.
Six days and counting until Chrismukkah. I'm declaring Thursday Wear Your Yarmaclaus to Work Day. Dress appropriately.
I need me a yarmaclaus.
Don't think I forgot about that gorgeous, GORGEOUS bracelet...I think about it almost every day...I got a coupon from the jewelry store that sells it, but it's only $60 off...um yeah that won't help me when that bracelet is a few grand. OH MY GOD it was gorgeous. SIgh.
What-eva! I do what i want!
Something to point out from Entertainment Weekly online's recap of the OC:
Dream on, dude. Matt still really bugs me. There's something about his face I don't like. It could just be his face.
YES YES YES. I knew it. He is NOT good looking. He's bizarre. He's like a messed up version of Christian Bale. He's making Ryan look hot. Actually, I'm starting to think Ryan's not that bad looking. He's no Seth....but...he's growing on me. Maybe it's because he's either around that ugly Matt guy or that skinny Johnny guy.
Maybe there should be another rule for men (speaking of Johnny)....I don't care if you got hit by a car. Stop acting like a flippin' p*ssy when you're pouring yourself water. In fact, poor people don't use glass pitchers. I know. I'm poor. I use Rubbermaid. Or my pitcher i got from the Dollar Store. So that whole "oh whoa is me i slipped and broke glass Marissa can you help me" thing is BS. Ryan's got nothing to worry about...Johnny crashed his way into the Friend Bucket on his own.
Six days and counting until Chrismukkah. I'm declaring Thursday Wear Your Yarmaclaus to Work Day. Dress appropriately.
I need me a yarmaclaus.
Don't think I forgot about that gorgeous, GORGEOUS bracelet...I think about it almost every day...I got a coupon from the jewelry store that sells it, but it's only $60 off...um yeah that won't help me when that bracelet is a few grand. OH MY GOD it was gorgeous. SIgh.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Jingle blog, jingle blog, jingle blog rock
Two more things that need to be added my list from yesterday's blog:
Bath Poofs..I don't care if a guy uses soap, body wash, whatever (as long as he uses something of course!)...but bath poofs are for GIRLS. And yes, I knew a guy who used a bath poof. And it was disgusting because he never replaced it, he figured the anti-bacterial body wash negated the bacteria in the poof. Um yeah....no. And bath poofs are for GIRLS.
"Cute"...the only time a guy can call something cute is when he's talking about a girl. Or something on a girl (like her top). That's IT. Case in point: last night i finally caught up on Dr. 90210 and that stupid dude married to Dr. Lee said his OWN shorts were "cute". WHAT THE F*CK. I know the point was that he got a matching pair for the baby, but he said his OWN were cute. AND nothing on a baby boy should be described as cute by a man. Ever. Unless you're gay. Then you can also say "snap!" and "trash!" all you want.
That aside, onto the tv watching for the night....
Dr. 90210: yeah i finally saw the premiere. STefanie, you're right: Dr Rey's hair looks SOOOOOO much better with the highlights. And mother effer, his wife lost a BOATLOAD of weight after losing that kid...she used to be healthy-thin, now she's "send World Vision to her door"-thin...no wonder she doens't want a kid. And no wonder she's TIRED all the time...it's not from your birth control, it's 'cause you need a burger!
The other thing I realized is that people in general have BAD SKIN. Okay i give you props for going on Dr. 90210 and getting naked. But...i mean people have bad, bad skin. That one chick who was 32....geezus I'll shoot myself if my skin gets like that. I already use Nivea Renewal NIght Cream for my upper body at night and Nivea Reshaping treatment on my legs (of which, so far it's the best cellulite cream i've found so far)....so hopefully that'll keep things looking decent.
My plan is to finally clear out the spare bedroom over the xmas holidays, sell all my crap on ebay, and with that cash put it towards the Sabina's Botox Fund. Booyah.
America's Next Top Model: mannnnn I love that show. That being said, i can't BELIEVE Nik didn't win. I mean, you tell me who'd sell a product better:
or
I looooove Nik....I can't believe Nicole won...i'm so pissed. So i texted my coworker Caroline all night during the show, and when Nicole won I wrote:
"WTF! She steals granola bars!" and Caroline wrote: "they had to pick a white girl to be politically correct"
That made me laugh so effing hard, it almost compensated for how pissed I was that Nik didn't win.
Lost: Okay I still haven't seen last week's episode. I admit it. I'm really backlogged! It's not my fault.
My name is earl: Um yeah still backlogged on that too.
Tonight is OC NIGHT BABY! Maybe one day I'll convince Henry to let me have Mischa Barton's hair....this whole "Eva Longoria's ugly kid sister" hair isn't cutting it anymore.
And to reiterate, my top 5 guys on my laminated card:
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. The Rock
3. Nick Lachey
ugh this is where it gets sketchy....
4. Jimmy Fallon (he'd be fun.....)
4.1 Adam Brody (Okay really I just want Seth...but same diff. )
5. Matt Damon (he's hot, bite me)
5.1 Clive Owen (damn I'm a sucker for deep voice and a brit accent)
5.2 LL Cool J (those lips! That should be outlawed)
5.3 Paul Walker....this is one of those guys that you don't want to hear him speak, just shut up and look pretty
5.4 Sean William Scott ...yeah i know. Stifler. I think the boy is hot. Suck it.
And I knwo Ben Affleck has gone downhill, but i thought he was hot around Armeggedon. And Tom Cruise was WAY hot in his Cocktail years. And Antonio Banderas was UBER hot during his Desperado years. Mel Gibson way super hot during his Lethal Weapon years. Bruce Willis was hot in his Die Hard years. But...those times are gone, so they don't make the list.
I've bugged Kraig before for his list, the first time years ago he had Jennifer Conolly (sp), Halle Barry, Janet Jackson, and some playboy models. I asked him again this year and he had like Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba, and some other random chicks. In fact, i'm gonna email him now and give me his top 5 and i'll seriously put it on a laminated card for him.
Okay, nuff babbling for now. I've had alot on my mind. Suck it.
Song of the day: Stickwitu by PussyCat Dolls
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Tazo count for Wednesday: 4
I'm not drinking enough this week...usually i'm average around 6.
Bath Poofs..I don't care if a guy uses soap, body wash, whatever (as long as he uses something of course!)...but bath poofs are for GIRLS. And yes, I knew a guy who used a bath poof. And it was disgusting because he never replaced it, he figured the anti-bacterial body wash negated the bacteria in the poof. Um yeah....no. And bath poofs are for GIRLS.
"Cute"...the only time a guy can call something cute is when he's talking about a girl. Or something on a girl (like her top). That's IT. Case in point: last night i finally caught up on Dr. 90210 and that stupid dude married to Dr. Lee said his OWN shorts were "cute". WHAT THE F*CK. I know the point was that he got a matching pair for the baby, but he said his OWN were cute. AND nothing on a baby boy should be described as cute by a man. Ever. Unless you're gay. Then you can also say "snap!" and "trash!" all you want.
That aside, onto the tv watching for the night....
Dr. 90210: yeah i finally saw the premiere. STefanie, you're right: Dr Rey's hair looks SOOOOOO much better with the highlights. And mother effer, his wife lost a BOATLOAD of weight after losing that kid...she used to be healthy-thin, now she's "send World Vision to her door"-thin...no wonder she doens't want a kid. And no wonder she's TIRED all the time...it's not from your birth control, it's 'cause you need a burger!
The other thing I realized is that people in general have BAD SKIN. Okay i give you props for going on Dr. 90210 and getting naked. But...i mean people have bad, bad skin. That one chick who was 32....geezus I'll shoot myself if my skin gets like that. I already use Nivea Renewal NIght Cream for my upper body at night and Nivea Reshaping treatment on my legs (of which, so far it's the best cellulite cream i've found so far)....so hopefully that'll keep things looking decent.
My plan is to finally clear out the spare bedroom over the xmas holidays, sell all my crap on ebay, and with that cash put it towards the Sabina's Botox Fund. Booyah.
America's Next Top Model: mannnnn I love that show. That being said, i can't BELIEVE Nik didn't win. I mean, you tell me who'd sell a product better:
or
I looooove Nik....I can't believe Nicole won...i'm so pissed. So i texted my coworker Caroline all night during the show, and when Nicole won I wrote:
"WTF! She steals granola bars!" and Caroline wrote: "they had to pick a white girl to be politically correct"
That made me laugh so effing hard, it almost compensated for how pissed I was that Nik didn't win.
Lost: Okay I still haven't seen last week's episode. I admit it. I'm really backlogged! It's not my fault.
My name is earl: Um yeah still backlogged on that too.
Tonight is OC NIGHT BABY! Maybe one day I'll convince Henry to let me have Mischa Barton's hair....this whole "Eva Longoria's ugly kid sister" hair isn't cutting it anymore.
And to reiterate, my top 5 guys on my laminated card:
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. The Rock
3. Nick Lachey
ugh this is where it gets sketchy....
4. Jimmy Fallon (he'd be fun.....)
4.1 Adam Brody (Okay really I just want Seth...but same diff. )
5. Matt Damon (he's hot, bite me)
5.1 Clive Owen (damn I'm a sucker for deep voice and a brit accent)
5.2 LL Cool J (those lips! That should be outlawed)
5.3 Paul Walker....this is one of those guys that you don't want to hear him speak, just shut up and look pretty
5.4 Sean William Scott ...yeah i know. Stifler. I think the boy is hot. Suck it.
And I knwo Ben Affleck has gone downhill, but i thought he was hot around Armeggedon. And Tom Cruise was WAY hot in his Cocktail years. And Antonio Banderas was UBER hot during his Desperado years. Mel Gibson way super hot during his Lethal Weapon years. Bruce Willis was hot in his Die Hard years. But...those times are gone, so they don't make the list.
I've bugged Kraig before for his list, the first time years ago he had Jennifer Conolly (sp), Halle Barry, Janet Jackson, and some playboy models. I asked him again this year and he had like Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba, and some other random chicks. In fact, i'm gonna email him now and give me his top 5 and i'll seriously put it on a laminated card for him.
Okay, nuff babbling for now. I've had alot on my mind. Suck it.
Song of the day: Stickwitu by PussyCat Dolls
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Tazo count for Wednesday: 4
I'm not drinking enough this week...usually i'm average around 6.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
To make sure your blog is manly, use the following procedure:
So apparently I'm not the only chick that has some defined "rules" when it comes to guys. I realize I'm married, but I certainly do judge guys, my friends' boyfriends/dates/manfriends/etc, because I certainly have at least the same if not higher standards for my girlfriends.
General rules:
Real Men Eat Meat. Fish doesn't count as meat. And I'm anti-pork. But real men are NOT vegetarians, and they appreciate a good hunk of meat cooked up on the grill. Goes back to caveman stuff. I want my men chopping wood and slapping a dead cow on their fire. You can't have passion if you only eat Tofurkey at thanksgiving.
No pink. EVER. Well okay at Hallowe'en, maybe. Pink is a BIG no no. I don't care if you shirt has a teenie bit of pink in it...it better have skulls on it then. Pink is for baby girls, for delicate things....heck it's the color for Breast Cancer Awareness for God's sakes....now unless you have breasts, you shouldn't wear it.
FLowered shirts This doesn't apply to Hawaiian print shirts....Magnum PI was hot for an 80s dude with a mustache. And yes we all know a certain Chino boy who likes his flowery shirts. But I'm sorry. Really, I am. But...choosing to wear FLOWERS on your torso...that's...so....bizarre....that's like voluntarily choosing to wear ribbons on your shirt. Why would you do that? It makes no sense.
P*ssy cars. Excuse my language...I really don't swear. But certain cars are unacceptable for guys to drive, such as: the Jetta, Tercel, HOnda Del Sol, Mazda Miata...you get the drift. Chick cars. VW Bugs are big time unacceptable. Well, all of these are okay for gay guys. FLAMING gay guys. Now let it be known, i do NOT require guys drive expensive cars. I couldn't care a less if all you can afford is a 1980 honda civic with each door a different color. I'll take a $500 beater car over a $30,000 chick car any day. So this doesn't make me shallow or materialistic. It just means that REAL MEN feel strongly about their choice of vehicle...just like they do meat.
And on that note, I'm okay if the rule should be applied to chicks too. I realize some chicks drive uber tough trucks. If, as a guy, you want to discriminate against a chick because her car is too dyke-ish...go right ahead. A chick driving a manly truck knows full well that she's little miss tough thang and that can scare off guys. I'm an equal-opportunity-car-discriminatory-chick.
Drive standard...stick, manual, standard, whatever you want to call it. I don't care if your CAR is manual...I just require that the guy knows how to drive stick. I know, not every guy can....so this one I'll let slide if the guy is fantastic. But the first time you see that sucker cry (i don't care if his dog died or if he got one of his nuts cut off)...you just remember, that pansy cries AND he can't drive stick...might as well cut off the other nut too.
Pay on the first date Yeah yeah i know. All the men of the world unite and scream at me. But before you do, remember, i'm the chick who advocates everyone be Crazy Fun Girl when your guy starts to back off and CFG gives lots of head. So...yeah before you argue with me....
The way i figure it, it's just old fashioned romance. I know we work, we want women's lib (personally, i DON'T...i'm FINE not working and living on one income, trust me, and having dinner ready every night as a result)...i mean, somehow in the end I end up paying for both me and the guy for YEARS to come...so at the very least, i just want ONE NIGHT where I can pull out my wallet and the guy says "Don't be silly, put that thing away"...since I'm paying for your sorry ass for the next N dates, you might as well just humor me with just ONE night off.
Eat more than the chick. This is SIGNIFICANT. I do NOT order salads on dates...heck, on my first date with Kraig I ordered the biggest plate of pasta. And i did that with all my dates after I became newly single and dated in the US. I think Kraig was horrified. But the point is...as a man, you have to eat more than me. You do NOT order a f*cking salad. I don't care that your company took you for all you can eat buffet at lunch. I don't care if you're going to work out later. I don't give a crap. I'm a girl, i'm half your size, eat a f*cking meal. And if you already ate...well who the ((bleep)) eats before a dinner date? That happened to Kim once...I would have ordered 5 courses (since it's the first date and he's paying anyway) and made him watch me chow through it all.
And on that note, tom lykes will be the first to tell men...if you're just gonna get laid anyway, order a salad because no chick will eat more than a guy and then you don't ahve to pay for a big huge meal. So if a dude orders a salad...order the most expensive thingo n the menu then bail out early because *yawn* you have an early morning....
NO BRIEFS...okay I've fortunately never had to be exposed to a guy who wore briefs (just boxers, or boxer briefs)...but i figured i'd throw that in for good measure.
Okay that's my list for now. Feel free to hate me. And then drive off in your Del Sol while you snack on a rice cake.
Added to say: MOTHER EFFER....Ryan Reynolds and The Rock are gonna do a buddy movie together. Those are 2 guys from my 5 list. (well the ever changing 5..but they are always on it). They better get off their asses and start filming.
General rules:
Real Men Eat Meat. Fish doesn't count as meat. And I'm anti-pork. But real men are NOT vegetarians, and they appreciate a good hunk of meat cooked up on the grill. Goes back to caveman stuff. I want my men chopping wood and slapping a dead cow on their fire. You can't have passion if you only eat Tofurkey at thanksgiving.
No pink. EVER. Well okay at Hallowe'en, maybe. Pink is a BIG no no. I don't care if you shirt has a teenie bit of pink in it...it better have skulls on it then. Pink is for baby girls, for delicate things....heck it's the color for Breast Cancer Awareness for God's sakes....now unless you have breasts, you shouldn't wear it.
FLowered shirts This doesn't apply to Hawaiian print shirts....Magnum PI was hot for an 80s dude with a mustache. And yes we all know a certain Chino boy who likes his flowery shirts. But I'm sorry. Really, I am. But...choosing to wear FLOWERS on your torso...that's...so....bizarre....that's like voluntarily choosing to wear ribbons on your shirt. Why would you do that? It makes no sense.
P*ssy cars. Excuse my language...I really don't swear. But certain cars are unacceptable for guys to drive, such as: the Jetta, Tercel, HOnda Del Sol, Mazda Miata...you get the drift. Chick cars. VW Bugs are big time unacceptable. Well, all of these are okay for gay guys. FLAMING gay guys. Now let it be known, i do NOT require guys drive expensive cars. I couldn't care a less if all you can afford is a 1980 honda civic with each door a different color. I'll take a $500 beater car over a $30,000 chick car any day. So this doesn't make me shallow or materialistic. It just means that REAL MEN feel strongly about their choice of vehicle...just like they do meat.
And on that note, I'm okay if the rule should be applied to chicks too. I realize some chicks drive uber tough trucks. If, as a guy, you want to discriminate against a chick because her car is too dyke-ish...go right ahead. A chick driving a manly truck knows full well that she's little miss tough thang and that can scare off guys. I'm an equal-opportunity-car-discriminatory-chick.
Drive standard...stick, manual, standard, whatever you want to call it. I don't care if your CAR is manual...I just require that the guy knows how to drive stick. I know, not every guy can....so this one I'll let slide if the guy is fantastic. But the first time you see that sucker cry (i don't care if his dog died or if he got one of his nuts cut off)...you just remember, that pansy cries AND he can't drive stick...might as well cut off the other nut too.
Pay on the first date Yeah yeah i know. All the men of the world unite and scream at me. But before you do, remember, i'm the chick who advocates everyone be Crazy Fun Girl when your guy starts to back off and CFG gives lots of head. So...yeah before you argue with me....
The way i figure it, it's just old fashioned romance. I know we work, we want women's lib (personally, i DON'T...i'm FINE not working and living on one income, trust me, and having dinner ready every night as a result)...i mean, somehow in the end I end up paying for both me and the guy for YEARS to come...so at the very least, i just want ONE NIGHT where I can pull out my wallet and the guy says "Don't be silly, put that thing away"...since I'm paying for your sorry ass for the next N dates, you might as well just humor me with just ONE night off.
Eat more than the chick. This is SIGNIFICANT. I do NOT order salads on dates...heck, on my first date with Kraig I ordered the biggest plate of pasta. And i did that with all my dates after I became newly single and dated in the US. I think Kraig was horrified. But the point is...as a man, you have to eat more than me. You do NOT order a f*cking salad. I don't care that your company took you for all you can eat buffet at lunch. I don't care if you're going to work out later. I don't give a crap. I'm a girl, i'm half your size, eat a f*cking meal. And if you already ate...well who the ((bleep)) eats before a dinner date? That happened to Kim once...I would have ordered 5 courses (since it's the first date and he's paying anyway) and made him watch me chow through it all.
And on that note, tom lykes will be the first to tell men...if you're just gonna get laid anyway, order a salad because no chick will eat more than a guy and then you don't ahve to pay for a big huge meal. So if a dude orders a salad...order the most expensive thingo n the menu then bail out early because *yawn* you have an early morning....
NO BRIEFS...okay I've fortunately never had to be exposed to a guy who wore briefs (just boxers, or boxer briefs)...but i figured i'd throw that in for good measure.
Okay that's my list for now. Feel free to hate me. And then drive off in your Del Sol while you snack on a rice cake.
Added to say: MOTHER EFFER....Ryan Reynolds and The Rock are gonna do a buddy movie together. Those are 2 guys from my 5 list. (well the ever changing 5..but they are always on it). They better get off their asses and start filming.
The things every blog should know
From Maximonline.com (too lazy to type the html to link it), they have 100 Things Every Guy Should Know. I condensed the ones that I think are important:
The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines. I saw on Travel Channel that Roulette is the worst and Slots are better...but um yeah doesn't matter, 'cause I only win at Roulette anyway.
The best time of day to buy shoesLate afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size. Every girl knows this, guys should too.
Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough. Like a guy can change that anyway. What's the point of that knowledge for men?
The just-to-be-sure testicle check
The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:
1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.
2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps.
3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.)
4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.) A guy should be healthy!
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.So much for those Bernoulli trials...
What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery. What if you don't have metal fillings in your mouth?
How to preserve meat in the wild Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag. because I require my men to drive non-p*ssy cars, save me from a burning building, and eat MEAT.
To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do. I swear I should just DRINK hand sanitizer.
The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds. I want credit for knowing the diff between a production car and a stock car. ANyway this is just to add "oomph" to the soon-to-be written blog about guys and cars.
Five no-fail fashion rules
Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.
If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.
If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.
Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.
Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.as per yesterday...i don't think pink should EVER be allowed. And "olive" is okay on guys.
How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly. Every guy should have this info plastered everywhere.
Numbers you should know
Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.
I'm sorry I had to post this one...I'm going to die laughing at the last one. Which makes me wonder:
1. HOw many subjects were used to get that average?
2. What's the fastest?
3. What's the slowest?
8 Things You Don’t Know
Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In our noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions. Maxim’s here to set the record straight.
- An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.
- The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.
- A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.
- Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.
- Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.
- Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.
- Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.
- Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.
Yeah that Einstein thing always bugged me. It's like when people say that Bill Gates dropped out of college. Um yeah are YOU dropping out to form your own software company? Exactly. So shut up and do your homework you weed smokin' slacker.
How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”
Italian and Spanish sound the best to me.....
The song of the day is Time of your life (good riddance) by Green Day
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
Time wake up.
The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines. I saw on Travel Channel that Roulette is the worst and Slots are better...but um yeah doesn't matter, 'cause I only win at Roulette anyway.
The best time of day to buy shoesLate afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size. Every girl knows this, guys should too.
Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough. Like a guy can change that anyway. What's the point of that knowledge for men?
The just-to-be-sure testicle check
The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:
1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.
2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps.
3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.)
4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.) A guy should be healthy!
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.So much for those Bernoulli trials...
What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery. What if you don't have metal fillings in your mouth?
How to preserve meat in the wild Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag. because I require my men to drive non-p*ssy cars, save me from a burning building, and eat MEAT.
To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do. I swear I should just DRINK hand sanitizer.
The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds. I want credit for knowing the diff between a production car and a stock car. ANyway this is just to add "oomph" to the soon-to-be written blog about guys and cars.
Five no-fail fashion rules
Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.
If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.
If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.
Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.
Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.as per yesterday...i don't think pink should EVER be allowed. And "olive" is okay on guys.
How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly. Every guy should have this info plastered everywhere.
Numbers you should know
Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.
I'm sorry I had to post this one...I'm going to die laughing at the last one. Which makes me wonder:
1. HOw many subjects were used to get that average?
2. What's the fastest?
3. What's the slowest?
8 Things You Don’t Know
Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In our noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions. Maxim’s here to set the record straight.
- An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.
- The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.
- A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.
- Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.
- Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.
- Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.
- Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.
- Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.
Yeah that Einstein thing always bugged me. It's like when people say that Bill Gates dropped out of college. Um yeah are YOU dropping out to form your own software company? Exactly. So shut up and do your homework you weed smokin' slacker.
How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”
Italian and Spanish sound the best to me.....
The song of the day is Time of your life (good riddance) by Green Day
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
Time wake up.
IM with my mom
I should post more of these, but really I don't even pay attention when I'm actually having the conversation....
My_Mom: hi whats up
Me: nothing
My_Mom: how are the pussycatos?
My_Mom: i think marmalade gets so anxious because she wants to go outside
My_Mom: she was after all an outdoor cat all her life
Me: maybe
My_Mom: a video came out with cats meowing xmas songs, they showed it on tv this morning, smoking watched
My_Mom: it was so cute
My_Mom: smokey I ment
My_Mom: wish i could hug her right now
My_Mom: how is stash pooh?
Me: he's good
My_Mom: still naughty?
My_Mom: not naughty, just playful and he wants to play with marmalade really
Me: yes
My_Mom: they advertised in the flyer a climbing post, with a basket on top and a hous on the side, some ball hanging from the other side for them to play
My_Mom: that would be fun for the cats, costs 176 $
Me: yup
My_Mom: should buy them one
My_Mom: bet marmalade would love to sleep in that house
My_Mom: the whole post is covered with carpet
Me: i did that remember...marmalade peed on it.
My_Mom: oops forgot
My_Mom: she is really something
My_Mom: what u need is wood floor only, no carpet at all
Me: yup
My_Mom: ((my brother))said its ok... u get the jewellery and the stamps, he gets the coins
My_Mom: works for him, so no fighting over it should i die all over sudden
Me: okay
My_Mom: also the pendants are framed coins hehe
My_Mom: typical austrian thing
My_Mom: also keep the wind up watches, they might be worth something one day
My_Mom: cant get them anymore
My_Mom: have to finish washing the floor, c u
Me: ok
My_Mom: hi whats up
Me: nothing
My_Mom: how are the pussycatos?
My_Mom: i think marmalade gets so anxious because she wants to go outside
My_Mom: she was after all an outdoor cat all her life
Me: maybe
My_Mom: a video came out with cats meowing xmas songs, they showed it on tv this morning, smoking watched
My_Mom: it was so cute
My_Mom: smokey I ment
My_Mom: wish i could hug her right now
My_Mom: how is stash pooh?
Me: he's good
My_Mom: still naughty?
My_Mom: not naughty, just playful and he wants to play with marmalade really
Me: yes
My_Mom: they advertised in the flyer a climbing post, with a basket on top and a hous on the side, some ball hanging from the other side for them to play
My_Mom: that would be fun for the cats, costs 176 $
Me: yup
My_Mom: should buy them one
My_Mom: bet marmalade would love to sleep in that house
My_Mom: the whole post is covered with carpet
Me: i did that remember...marmalade peed on it.
My_Mom: oops forgot
My_Mom: she is really something
My_Mom: what u need is wood floor only, no carpet at all
Me: yup
My_Mom: ((my brother))said its ok... u get the jewellery and the stamps, he gets the coins
My_Mom: works for him, so no fighting over it should i die all over sudden
Me: okay
My_Mom: also the pendants are framed coins hehe
My_Mom: typical austrian thing
My_Mom: also keep the wind up watches, they might be worth something one day
My_Mom: cant get them anymore
My_Mom: have to finish washing the floor, c u
Me: ok
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Edumacate your blog
Some interesting news bits to read today:
Is monogamy dead?: A 'mistake' that doesn't count?
Schwartz has likened this attitude to overeating. We say we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway. And when we do, we still claim to be monogamous, chalking up our fling (flings?) as “a mistake” that doesn’t count. We take a mulligan.You know who you are.
TrimSpa sued over Anna Nicole Smith....okay clearly the problem is that you should never, EVER have Anna Nicole at a CHARITY event...that's like inviting Michael Jackson to a nursery school and then getting upset when he plays doctor. Come on now people!
Kazaa owners work to install filters...sigh I miss my napster days! It was so therapeutic to just stare at those download bars. My email address back then was "NapsterAddict@rogers.com"....knowing what i know now, I should have bought a MASSIVE hard drive no matter the cost and downloaded everything and anything.
Microsoft sued over XBox...only 'cause we talked about the glitches so much.
Howard Stern is getting Sirius on the airwaves... I really need to get off my ass and get my Sirius finally. All week he's been doing his farewell stuff, and it's SO sad. He's one of the few GOOD things i've experienced about moving to the US (we don't have him on the airwaves in Canada), other than Circus Animal Cookies and Macaroni Grill.
The song of the day is Can I Have It Like That by Pharrell featuring Gwen
So, drop ya purse, and grab ya hips,
And act like ya tryin' to get this money right quick,
So can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Will post my Tazo count in a few hours....
Is monogamy dead?: A 'mistake' that doesn't count?
Schwartz has likened this attitude to overeating. We say we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway. And when we do, we still claim to be monogamous, chalking up our fling (flings?) as “a mistake” that doesn’t count. We take a mulligan.You know who you are.
TrimSpa sued over Anna Nicole Smith....okay clearly the problem is that you should never, EVER have Anna Nicole at a CHARITY event...that's like inviting Michael Jackson to a nursery school and then getting upset when he plays doctor. Come on now people!
Kazaa owners work to install filters...sigh I miss my napster days! It was so therapeutic to just stare at those download bars. My email address back then was "NapsterAddict@rogers.com"....knowing what i know now, I should have bought a MASSIVE hard drive no matter the cost and downloaded everything and anything.
Microsoft sued over XBox...only 'cause we talked about the glitches so much.
Howard Stern is getting Sirius on the airwaves... I really need to get off my ass and get my Sirius finally. All week he's been doing his farewell stuff, and it's SO sad. He's one of the few GOOD things i've experienced about moving to the US (we don't have him on the airwaves in Canada), other than Circus Animal Cookies and Macaroni Grill.
The song of the day is Can I Have It Like That by Pharrell featuring Gwen
So, drop ya purse, and grab ya hips,
And act like ya tryin' to get this money right quick,
So can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Will post my Tazo count in a few hours....
My blog is channel 3
From Entertainment Weekly online:
Most of the plot revolved around the kiddies, but the side dishes of trailer-park Julie Cooper and Sandy's Berkeley friend Paul Glass were welcome diversions. My favorite Julie moment: when she told her nameless, snobby neighbor she trying to ''keep it real'' with the U-Haul, then dismissively called the woman by her apartment number. Yeah! Up yours, 3F. The dinner party with Paul was good, too. After taking some heat for rarely including black characters in the show, The O.C. compensated by inviting one to dinner and then having everyone ditch him at the table — but not before he got in a pretty decent joke: ''What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you freaking racist.'' Ha.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who died laughing at that Uhaul moment.
I've decided much in the spirit of my high school blog, i'm going to keep a Daily Tazo Count (DTC)...
Monday's count: only 3....I had alot of hot chocolate instead.
Most of the plot revolved around the kiddies, but the side dishes of trailer-park Julie Cooper and Sandy's Berkeley friend Paul Glass were welcome diversions. My favorite Julie moment: when she told her nameless, snobby neighbor she trying to ''keep it real'' with the U-Haul, then dismissively called the woman by her apartment number. Yeah! Up yours, 3F. The dinner party with Paul was good, too. After taking some heat for rarely including black characters in the show, The O.C. compensated by inviting one to dinner and then having everyone ditch him at the table — but not before he got in a pretty decent joke: ''What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you freaking racist.'' Ha.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who died laughing at that Uhaul moment.
I've decided much in the spirit of my high school blog, i'm going to keep a Daily Tazo Count (DTC)...
Monday's count: only 3....I had alot of hot chocolate instead.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Why would I want a scented blog?
No time to write today
Just wanted to say that every time I think of this, I laugh:
Rachel Ray....30 minutes my ass!
And yes, I DID stand in line in the pouring rain for 4 hours just to see the size of her butt.
Just wanted to say that every time I think of this, I laugh:
Rachel Ray....30 minutes my ass!
And yes, I DID stand in line in the pouring rain for 4 hours just to see the size of her butt.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
My blog makes me laugh
This is effing hilarious:
http://www.collegehumor.com/articles/1636993/
(I realize that in my social circle growing up, i was the ugly one, but this is just to funny for words)...
He's not addicted to crystal meth....
I may very well pee my pants laughing right now.
http://www.collegehumor.com/articles/1636993/
(I realize that in my social circle growing up, i was the ugly one, but this is just to funny for words)...
He's not addicted to crystal meth....
I may very well pee my pants laughing right now.
My blog wears track pants
FYI people...
When you go skiing...your ski/snow pants are OUTERWEAR...
Therefore wearing say just your underwear (when it's warm skiing) under your ski pants is just WRONG...
Would you wear just your bra under your winter coat? NO! Not just because that's WEIRD....but also 'cause you don't wash your coat every time you wear it, and so you want to minimize the sweat on your body getting on your OUTERWEAR.
MAYBE i can understand shorts..i suppose...but i still think that's weird...wear yoga pants or something under those ski pants.
And thermal underwear, unless you get the good stuff, still has the word UNDERWEAR in there...so effing put some track pants or something over your thermal underwear and under your ski pants!
MOTHER EFFER people.
I'll come up with a song of the day later. Right now i've got Lifehouse in my head, which was already a song of the day.
When you go skiing...your ski/snow pants are OUTERWEAR...
Therefore wearing say just your underwear (when it's warm skiing) under your ski pants is just WRONG...
Would you wear just your bra under your winter coat? NO! Not just because that's WEIRD....but also 'cause you don't wash your coat every time you wear it, and so you want to minimize the sweat on your body getting on your OUTERWEAR.
MAYBE i can understand shorts..i suppose...but i still think that's weird...wear yoga pants or something under those ski pants.
And thermal underwear, unless you get the good stuff, still has the word UNDERWEAR in there...so effing put some track pants or something over your thermal underwear and under your ski pants!
MOTHER EFFER people.
I'll come up with a song of the day later. Right now i've got Lifehouse in my head, which was already a song of the day.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
now take that knife and turn it COUNTERclockwise
And there goes the other chunk of the pain that finally got posted:
Current Balance $2,744.97
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
Is it any wonder that my skin is freaking out? I thought briefly yesterday about getting a new car...and then I almost broke out in hives thinking about monthly payments again.
Current Balance $2,744.97
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
Is it any wonder that my skin is freaking out? I thought briefly yesterday about getting a new car...and then I almost broke out in hives thinking about monthly payments again.
What's more ghetto? My blog or my car?
You know this was going to happen.
My ghetto car....has reached UBER ghetto levels.
So far in 5 years I've replaced the brakes a dozen times and all four tires twice...it got keyed BADLY in 2001 when i parked at a Barnes & Nobles...the rear bumper is about to fall off thanks to a chick without a driver's license who ran into me in 2005...The right side has a huge dent when I hit something (yes, on the SIDE) when making a turn...the same month that I accidentally rear ended someone else (hey, to my defense i had to wake up earlier than usual and i was a zombie) and the front light is held up with a rubber band....
My car has been cleaned maybe 3 times, maybe a bit more only because Kraig is the one who would get embarassed and takes it in for me....
My cat has peed (through the holes in her carrier)in it more times than I care to explain.
The driver's side window can't roll back up after it's been rolled down. I don't valet my car because i'm cheap. I don't valet it because those valet guys always roll down my window even after I tell them NOT to do that.
All of this aside...my car was still fabulous because...IT'S PAID OFF.
But yesterday...yesterday my car officially became unacceptable.
I got in my car after work and went to move the driver's side visor (which has a bunch of my CDs in a holder) up...and I heard a "SNAP".
going to try to explain this highly untechnical bit of info now
The doohickey that kept my visor locked and rotating the hinge thingy had broken off.
This meant that the visor couldn't stay up, it flopped back down. And because there was no tension, i couldn't push it down close to the window like you would do if say it were sunny. It hung STRAIGHT down, which blocked my view.
So i thought I would pop out the visor and push it to the left driver's side window, you know?
Well in the process of trying to pop it out of the hinge thingy...the plastic bracket that was embedded into the visor BROKE right out. And then the long handle that held the visor wasn't strong enough to hold the visor in anyway, so that slid right out.
There I was....
A broken piece of hinged plastic
A visor
And left on my car was this long hinge thing (that was covered in grease).
I threw it all onto the floor and just drove home, since it was nighttime and it didn't matter anyway.
But...
The whole time i was FUMING.
My car is unacceptably ghetto now.
Later, at 10pm, I went to the gym...but I spent half an hour in my car trying to figure out a solution....which is hard when you don't keep anything in your car to hold stuff in anyway...but I used an old clip to smoosh the visor onto the hinge (it won't go down, and I can't put the CD holder on it anymore, but at least it's there for visual purposes....)...
I am THE biggest loser. Ever.
Losers like me don't get a song of the day!
My ghetto car....has reached UBER ghetto levels.
So far in 5 years I've replaced the brakes a dozen times and all four tires twice...it got keyed BADLY in 2001 when i parked at a Barnes & Nobles...the rear bumper is about to fall off thanks to a chick without a driver's license who ran into me in 2005...The right side has a huge dent when I hit something (yes, on the SIDE) when making a turn...the same month that I accidentally rear ended someone else (hey, to my defense i had to wake up earlier than usual and i was a zombie) and the front light is held up with a rubber band....
My car has been cleaned maybe 3 times, maybe a bit more only because Kraig is the one who would get embarassed and takes it in for me....
My cat has peed (through the holes in her carrier)in it more times than I care to explain.
The driver's side window can't roll back up after it's been rolled down. I don't valet my car because i'm cheap. I don't valet it because those valet guys always roll down my window even after I tell them NOT to do that.
All of this aside...my car was still fabulous because...IT'S PAID OFF.
But yesterday...yesterday my car officially became unacceptable.
I got in my car after work and went to move the driver's side visor (which has a bunch of my CDs in a holder) up...and I heard a "SNAP".
going to try to explain this highly untechnical bit of info now
The doohickey that kept my visor locked and rotating the hinge thingy had broken off.
This meant that the visor couldn't stay up, it flopped back down. And because there was no tension, i couldn't push it down close to the window like you would do if say it were sunny. It hung STRAIGHT down, which blocked my view.
So i thought I would pop out the visor and push it to the left driver's side window, you know?
Well in the process of trying to pop it out of the hinge thingy...the plastic bracket that was embedded into the visor BROKE right out. And then the long handle that held the visor wasn't strong enough to hold the visor in anyway, so that slid right out.
There I was....
A broken piece of hinged plastic
A visor
And left on my car was this long hinge thing (that was covered in grease).
I threw it all onto the floor and just drove home, since it was nighttime and it didn't matter anyway.
But...
The whole time i was FUMING.
My car is unacceptably ghetto now.
Later, at 10pm, I went to the gym...but I spent half an hour in my car trying to figure out a solution....which is hard when you don't keep anything in your car to hold stuff in anyway...but I used an old clip to smoosh the visor onto the hinge (it won't go down, and I can't put the CD holder on it anymore, but at least it's there for visual purposes....)...
I am THE biggest loser. Ever.
Losers like me don't get a song of the day!
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Take two blogs and call me in the morning
Ouch.
Painful.
Current Balance $2,546.69
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
And that doesn't include a charge from the past weekend that's gonna rack it up.
This might very well be...the first time EVER in my life...that I don't pay my credit card bill in full.
Maybe I should start taking Marmalade's kitty anti-depressants!
On another note, lets not forget people...Real World Reunion tonight.
Painful.
Current Balance $2,546.69
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
And that doesn't include a charge from the past weekend that's gonna rack it up.
This might very well be...the first time EVER in my life...that I don't pay my credit card bill in full.
Maybe I should start taking Marmalade's kitty anti-depressants!
On another note, lets not forget people...Real World Reunion tonight.
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