Can't sleep. It's 5:03am.
I found this online and in my sleepy daze I found myself holding my breath while reading it...i don't know if it's a diary entry or lyrics to a song and I'm too lazy to verify...
It's that feeling, that golden feeling. It's the wind at my back, the sun over my head, and the smell of spring. It's the touch of that girl you just know you can't be without. It's the feel of her skin grazing yours hours after curfew. It's the lifting of every care from your chest, the knowledge that no matter what happens she'll be there with you. It's a stolen kiss and the moment you realize that you miss her already and you've only just said goodbye. It's the careful choosing of what to wear when you know it's likely you'll see her later that same day, the meticulous selection of the right aftershave, the warm surge of anticipation that you get every time you remember that she's yours. It's her hand in yours, your arms wrapped securely around her waist, your body entangled with hers. It's love, and when it's in the air it's presence is so strong that if you screw your eyes up just right you can actually see it working in our hearts and changing the world. It's love, and it's all that matters.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Patience Iago, patience
From The Phoenix
My comments are in bold, the rest are from the article.
100.
Brad Pitt:
He may look good, but if the rumors about his hygiene and BO issues are true,then he's probably not worth it.
I miss Brad circa his Se7en years
99.
Kevin Federline:
Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days.
98.
Emeril Lagasse
Awww, poor Emeril!
97.
Dom DeLuise
96.
Horatio Sanz:
Laughing at your own jokes is not sexy
I disagree! Right now he's one of the funniest guys on SNL now that Jimmy Fallon is gone.
95.
Dennis Kucinich:
Something about those progressives.
94.
Ralph Nader
93.
Ric Flair:
To be the man – WOO! – you got to . . . do something about those man boobs!
92.
Bill Parcells:
Especially when you see the photos of him in shorts at training camp
91.
Jose Canseco:
"Every time I have tried to help a woman, I've been incarcerated," he famouslysaid on The Surreal Life. You old charmer, you.
Yeah he's got a great body..but...kind of a male butterface.
91.
Hideki Matsui
90.
Lemmy Kilmister:
Sadly, the ravages of time have not been kind to him.
89.
Don Vito:
I suppose we were never really supposed to know what Bam Margera's uncle looks like, but since we do, he has to be included.
88.
John Clayton:
How is this ESPN's top football guy?
87.
Jimmy Johnson:
It's the hair
I swear I don't know who half these guys are on this list
86.
Jeff Van Gundy
85.
Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg
84.
Dick Vitale
– Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling that sex with Dickie V. would be anything but "awesome, baby."
83.
Barry Bonds
– If what his mistress told the authors of Game of Shadows is true, then no, you don't want any part of that
82.
Howie Mandel
Awww...well it's kinda true. I miss him doing his standup days in the early 90's.
81.
Brian Posehn
80.
Art Garfunkel
79.
Tom from Myspace:
What, you gotta be everyone's friend? Isn't that a little needy? Not hot at all.
I have no opinion on his looks, but it's annoying that he's your friend.
78.
Joe Walsh
77.
Meat Loaf Aday
76.
Garry Shandling
75.
Joey Buttafuoco
74.
DJ Qualls:
What's he weigh, like, 70 pounds? How much of that is grease?
73.
Harvey Pekar
72.
Grady Little:
Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.
71.
George Steinbrenner:
Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.
70.
Kevin James:
His TV marriage to Leah Remini on King of Queens is less believable than anything on Lost.
Kevin James is NOT that bad. Not a great body, but he's got that "my friend's boyfriend is kinda cute in a weird way" kind of thing going on. I mean, he's not hot...but i think he's better looking than the other 99 dudes on this list. Well minus Brad.
69.
Joe Gannascolli
68.
John Ashcroft
67.
Robert Patrick:
Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about the T-1000
66.
Robert Englund:
Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about Freddy Krueger
65.
John Madden:
Those massive hands seem more frightening than anything. Boom!
64.
Dennis Miller
63.
John Popper
62.
Bill Maher:
. . . Especially ones with poodle hair.
61.
Jim Gaffigan:
Pasty, goofy-looking comedians abound on this list.
60.
Joe Lieberman
59.
Clay Aiken:
This feels like a cheap shot, but even leaving aside the rumors about his personal life, he still looks like someone's bratty little brother.
Awww sorry Katelyn :P
58.
Bill O'Reilly
57.
Ed O'Neil:
We love ya, Ed, but sorry.
There was a reason you never waited on any really hot girls at that shoe store
56.
Rob Schneider
55.
Newt Gingrich
54.
Drew Carey
UGH i can't STAND this guy!
53.
Peter Jackson
52.
Danny DeVito
Why is Danny not #1?!!??!?
51.
Bill Wyman
50.
Ric Ocasek:
Yes, we know who his wife is. And no, we don't care.
49.
Lyle Lovett
48.
Scott Stapp
47.
Andy Dick:
It's a trap!
46.
Leif Garrett
45.
Nick Nolte:
Busey's oddball partner in crime, but at least he had a career once.
44.
Garey Busey:
Those teeth would give anyone nightmares.
43.
David Gest
42.
Rush Limbaugh:
No doubt he will claim his placement on this list as a result of a media bias and not the fact that he's just butt-ugly
41.
Paris Latsis:
Maybe not the worst-looking guy in the world, but, well, think about who was there first.
40.
Al Franken:
Too arrogant
39.
Michael Moore
38.
Larry David
37.
Scottie Pippen
36.
Pat Cummings
35.
Willie McGee
34.
Christopher Lloyd
33.
Julian Tavarez
32.
Otis Nixon
31.
Chris Kattan
Awwww Chris doesn't deserve to be #31...maybe 99...but not 31. Mango turns everyone on!
30.
Tony Kornheiser:
Yes, calling sportswriters unattractive is like shooting fish in a barrel. But
come on, he looks like your uncle.
29.
Don Zimmer:
The gerbil's got a massive, ivory-white noggin' that never did much thinking to
begin with. Ask any Red Sox fan over 35.
28.
Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance):
Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.
27.
Edward James Olmos:
Remember season one of South Park? When Kenny was a zombie, everyone assumed it
was an Edward James Olmos costume. Wonder why.
26.
Tim Burton:
He's got the Robert Smith hair coupled with a mighty hunch. Yet he's dating
Helena Bonham Carter.
25.
Axl Rose:
I mean . . . did you see the 2003 VMAs?
24.
Paul Shaffer:
The bic'd look does not work for everyone, plus he makes all those crazy faces
while he plays.
23.
Bill Gates:
To quote Dana Carvey: "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil – 'You can
have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"
22.
Clint Howard:
Ron's younger, balder, and weirder-looking brother. Yes, weirder looking than
Ron Howard.
21.
Ron Howard:
He was cute as Opie, passable as Richie, but now as Ron Howard, he's just plain
weird-looking. Especially with a beard.
20.
Raffi:
Maybe it's his proffession. But no one surveyed, man or woman, could think of
any situation in which they would bed down with him.
19.
Chevy Chase:
He got unfunny with age. Then he got ugly.
18.
Malcolm Gladwell:
The Tipping Point.
17.
Jerry Seinfeld:
This is for everyone who has ever yelled at the TV when Jerry brought home
another model on Seinfeld.
16.
Carrot Top:
Sheer obnoxiousness necessitates his placement on this list.
15.
Jon Lovitz:
Bald, annoying, unfunny, and hair in the all the wrong places. For all we know,
he was running through the cast of League of Their Own. But we doubt it.
14.
Richard Simmons:
Words don't do it justice.
Shudder....
13.
Mike D. of the Beastie Boys:
We hate to do this. But the sickly looking Beastie "did it like this, did it
like that, did it with a wiffle ball bat . . . because no one would want to get
within three feet of him naked.
12.
Wallace Shawn:
Even if you're attracted to his rounded dome, how can anyone get past that
nasally lisp?
11.
Michael Jackson:
What happens when an ugly JC Penny manequin has sex with Pogo, the clown
identity of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.
This list just gets more and more horrifying...
10.
Don Imus:
"It would be like having sex with an old leather bag, but not in a good way,"
was what the same staffer remarked about the bag of skin and bones.
9.
Jay Leno:
"It would be like having sex with a banana, but not in a good way," was what one
of our staffers remarked about the fruit-headed comic.
8.
Osama Bin Laden:
Power is sexy (notice how Dick Cheney isn't on the list). But a 6'5",
no-vertical-leap mass murdering douche bag is not getting any style points.
7.
Mike Mills:
You'd want to talk music with the bassist from REM. Sleep with? Not unless
you're trying to get to Pete Buck.
6.
Chad Kroeger:
It's not just the massive head, weird face, and bad hair. It's also the fact
that he's in Nickelback, the worst band since the dawn of music.
5.
Alan Colmes:
Not really fair, since he's got to sit next to brown shirt-stud Hannity each
night. But Colmes - lazy eye, unkept hair, droopy features - has a face made for
radio. Pirate radio. Garr!!
4.
Dr. Phil:
Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid.
3.
Roger Ebert:
Yes, he lost all that weight. Yes, you still wouldn't fuck him.
2.
Randy Johnson:
If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife
beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops. Could you imagine the nights
when he pitched to Otis Nixon?
Are you ready?.....
1.
Gilbert Gottfried:
Rumor has it that Gilbert is the heir apparent to Uncle Milty when it comes to
what he's packing, but that still can't save him. The parrot-voiced,
pickled-face comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman.
Gilbert may be nasty, but that Aflac duck is one mighty mighty fine piece of poultry.
My comments are in bold, the rest are from the article.
100.
Brad Pitt:
He may look good, but if the rumors about his hygiene and BO issues are true,then he's probably not worth it.
I miss Brad circa his Se7en years
99.
Kevin Federline:
Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days.
98.
Emeril Lagasse
Awww, poor Emeril!
97.
Dom DeLuise
96.
Horatio Sanz:
Laughing at your own jokes is not sexy
I disagree! Right now he's one of the funniest guys on SNL now that Jimmy Fallon is gone.
95.
Dennis Kucinich:
Something about those progressives.
94.
Ralph Nader
93.
Ric Flair:
To be the man – WOO! – you got to . . . do something about those man boobs!
92.
Bill Parcells:
Especially when you see the photos of him in shorts at training camp
91.
Jose Canseco:
"Every time I have tried to help a woman, I've been incarcerated," he famouslysaid on The Surreal Life. You old charmer, you.
Yeah he's got a great body..but...kind of a male butterface.
91.
Hideki Matsui
90.
Lemmy Kilmister:
Sadly, the ravages of time have not been kind to him.
89.
Don Vito:
I suppose we were never really supposed to know what Bam Margera's uncle looks like, but since we do, he has to be included.
88.
John Clayton:
How is this ESPN's top football guy?
87.
Jimmy Johnson:
It's the hair
I swear I don't know who half these guys are on this list
86.
Jeff Van Gundy
85.
Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg
84.
Dick Vitale
– Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling that sex with Dickie V. would be anything but "awesome, baby."
83.
Barry Bonds
– If what his mistress told the authors of Game of Shadows is true, then no, you don't want any part of that
82.
Howie Mandel
Awww...well it's kinda true. I miss him doing his standup days in the early 90's.
81.
Brian Posehn
80.
Art Garfunkel
79.
Tom from Myspace:
What, you gotta be everyone's friend? Isn't that a little needy? Not hot at all.
I have no opinion on his looks, but it's annoying that he's your friend.
78.
Joe Walsh
77.
Meat Loaf Aday
76.
Garry Shandling
75.
Joey Buttafuoco
74.
DJ Qualls:
What's he weigh, like, 70 pounds? How much of that is grease?
73.
Harvey Pekar
72.
Grady Little:
Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.
71.
George Steinbrenner:
Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.
70.
Kevin James:
His TV marriage to Leah Remini on King of Queens is less believable than anything on Lost.
Kevin James is NOT that bad. Not a great body, but he's got that "my friend's boyfriend is kinda cute in a weird way" kind of thing going on. I mean, he's not hot...but i think he's better looking than the other 99 dudes on this list. Well minus Brad.
69.
Joe Gannascolli
68.
John Ashcroft
67.
Robert Patrick:
Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about the T-1000
66.
Robert Englund:
Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about Freddy Krueger
65.
John Madden:
Those massive hands seem more frightening than anything. Boom!
64.
Dennis Miller
63.
John Popper
62.
Bill Maher:
. . . Especially ones with poodle hair.
61.
Jim Gaffigan:
Pasty, goofy-looking comedians abound on this list.
60.
Joe Lieberman
59.
Clay Aiken:
This feels like a cheap shot, but even leaving aside the rumors about his personal life, he still looks like someone's bratty little brother.
Awww sorry Katelyn :P
58.
Bill O'Reilly
57.
Ed O'Neil:
We love ya, Ed, but sorry.
There was a reason you never waited on any really hot girls at that shoe store
56.
Rob Schneider
55.
Newt Gingrich
54.
Drew Carey
UGH i can't STAND this guy!
53.
Peter Jackson
52.
Danny DeVito
Why is Danny not #1?!!??!?
51.
Bill Wyman
50.
Ric Ocasek:
Yes, we know who his wife is. And no, we don't care.
49.
Lyle Lovett
48.
Scott Stapp
47.
Andy Dick:
It's a trap!
46.
Leif Garrett
45.
Nick Nolte:
Busey's oddball partner in crime, but at least he had a career once.
44.
Garey Busey:
Those teeth would give anyone nightmares.
43.
David Gest
42.
Rush Limbaugh:
No doubt he will claim his placement on this list as a result of a media bias and not the fact that he's just butt-ugly
41.
Paris Latsis:
Maybe not the worst-looking guy in the world, but, well, think about who was there first.
40.
Al Franken:
Too arrogant
39.
Michael Moore
38.
Larry David
37.
Scottie Pippen
36.
Pat Cummings
35.
Willie McGee
34.
Christopher Lloyd
33.
Julian Tavarez
32.
Otis Nixon
31.
Chris Kattan
Awwww Chris doesn't deserve to be #31...maybe 99...but not 31. Mango turns everyone on!
30.
Tony Kornheiser:
Yes, calling sportswriters unattractive is like shooting fish in a barrel. But
come on, he looks like your uncle.
29.
Don Zimmer:
The gerbil's got a massive, ivory-white noggin' that never did much thinking to
begin with. Ask any Red Sox fan over 35.
28.
Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance):
Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.
27.
Edward James Olmos:
Remember season one of South Park? When Kenny was a zombie, everyone assumed it
was an Edward James Olmos costume. Wonder why.
26.
Tim Burton:
He's got the Robert Smith hair coupled with a mighty hunch. Yet he's dating
Helena Bonham Carter.
25.
Axl Rose:
I mean . . . did you see the 2003 VMAs?
24.
Paul Shaffer:
The bic'd look does not work for everyone, plus he makes all those crazy faces
while he plays.
23.
Bill Gates:
To quote Dana Carvey: "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil – 'You can
have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"
22.
Clint Howard:
Ron's younger, balder, and weirder-looking brother. Yes, weirder looking than
Ron Howard.
21.
Ron Howard:
He was cute as Opie, passable as Richie, but now as Ron Howard, he's just plain
weird-looking. Especially with a beard.
20.
Raffi:
Maybe it's his proffession. But no one surveyed, man or woman, could think of
any situation in which they would bed down with him.
19.
Chevy Chase:
He got unfunny with age. Then he got ugly.
18.
Malcolm Gladwell:
The Tipping Point.
17.
Jerry Seinfeld:
This is for everyone who has ever yelled at the TV when Jerry brought home
another model on Seinfeld.
16.
Carrot Top:
Sheer obnoxiousness necessitates his placement on this list.
15.
Jon Lovitz:
Bald, annoying, unfunny, and hair in the all the wrong places. For all we know,
he was running through the cast of League of Their Own. But we doubt it.
14.
Richard Simmons:
Words don't do it justice.
Shudder....
13.
Mike D. of the Beastie Boys:
We hate to do this. But the sickly looking Beastie "did it like this, did it
like that, did it with a wiffle ball bat . . . because no one would want to get
within three feet of him naked.
12.
Wallace Shawn:
Even if you're attracted to his rounded dome, how can anyone get past that
nasally lisp?
11.
Michael Jackson:
What happens when an ugly JC Penny manequin has sex with Pogo, the clown
identity of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.
This list just gets more and more horrifying...
10.
Don Imus:
"It would be like having sex with an old leather bag, but not in a good way,"
was what the same staffer remarked about the bag of skin and bones.
9.
Jay Leno:
"It would be like having sex with a banana, but not in a good way," was what one
of our staffers remarked about the fruit-headed comic.
8.
Osama Bin Laden:
Power is sexy (notice how Dick Cheney isn't on the list). But a 6'5",
no-vertical-leap mass murdering douche bag is not getting any style points.
7.
Mike Mills:
You'd want to talk music with the bassist from REM. Sleep with? Not unless
you're trying to get to Pete Buck.
6.
Chad Kroeger:
It's not just the massive head, weird face, and bad hair. It's also the fact
that he's in Nickelback, the worst band since the dawn of music.
5.
Alan Colmes:
Not really fair, since he's got to sit next to brown shirt-stud Hannity each
night. But Colmes - lazy eye, unkept hair, droopy features - has a face made for
radio. Pirate radio. Garr!!
4.
Dr. Phil:
Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid.
3.
Roger Ebert:
Yes, he lost all that weight. Yes, you still wouldn't fuck him.
2.
Randy Johnson:
If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife
beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops. Could you imagine the nights
when he pitched to Otis Nixon?
Are you ready?.....
1.
Gilbert Gottfried:
Rumor has it that Gilbert is the heir apparent to Uncle Milty when it comes to
what he's packing, but that still can't save him. The parrot-voiced,
pickled-face comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman.
Gilbert may be nasty, but that Aflac duck is one mighty mighty fine piece of poultry.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Because i'm lazy...
Because I'm a lazy mofo, I bought this:
Scrubbing Bubbles Shower Cleaner
Heh heh I'll let you know how it works! Stay tuned...
Scrubbing Bubbles Shower Cleaner
Heh heh I'll let you know how it works! Stay tuned...
Letter to the Editor
My company did some sort of study to find out if there was a salary discrepency between men and women in the same job and there wasn't one. Oddly enough, a few women left the company shortly after the results were released. Makes you wonder. Luckily, women get a good percentage of their salary while away on maternity leave.
Uh maybe in Canada....I know chicks get a year off of vacay. Not here in the US...the Family Medical Leave act says you get *gasp* all of 12 weeks off UNPAID...but you get to keep your job. Basically you have to have foresight that you're going to get pregnant and save up a ton of your vacation time.
Uh maybe in Canada....I know chicks get a year off of vacay. Not here in the US...the Family Medical Leave act says you get *gasp* all of 12 weeks off UNPAID...but you get to keep your job. Basically you have to have foresight that you're going to get pregnant and save up a ton of your vacation time.
Friday, April 07, 2006
HEIDI HO!!!!
37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.
-Um not always, The ones in gas stations are pretty nasty on the guys side
Marlene, I'm horribly disturbed that you know what that looks like in there :)
Weekend.
Sunny.
Time change.
Sometimes, life ist goot.
-Um not always, The ones in gas stations are pretty nasty on the guys side
Marlene, I'm horribly disturbed that you know what that looks like in there :)
Weekend.
Sunny.
Time change.
Sometimes, life ist goot.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Maxim 100: Things you need to know about chicks
From Maxim's 100 Everything You Need To Know About Women
Listen up guys! Here are the ones that I've gotta note...
99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.
HA! Exactly! And people make fun of me 'cause on my first date with kraig i didn't shave my legs and I wore granny underwear! EXACTLY!!!!
96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.
There's no "set gift" to give your boyfriend if you need a last minute idea, but chicks are SO easy when it comse to that.
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
I mean, it doesn't make us not LIKE you...it just makse it harder for us to want to molest you.
94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
Heh heh i can think of one chick in particular who is DEFINITELY nutty. I agree.
90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.
Hell yeah! I woudln't want a random dude driving my car but when I moved to California for some reason I ended up driving all those shmucks...wtf. Why don't you leave your testicles at home too?
89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.
Yep! True dat.
87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.
I'm going to punch someone. "Get pregnant"?! First off, time off for pregnancies is unpaid, so that's worth nothing. And why is it fair that becuase your stupid gender can't get pregnant that I have to get paid less? SOMEONE'S gotta obviously have babies to keep up the species...but oh, because we're in charge of keeping mankind alive, we should get paid less?
AND...to top it off...not everyone has kids. So because I've got a uterus and POTENTIALLY might get pregnant, I should suck it up?
(actually...i'm not complaining...in my line of work i've never gotten paid less than a dude with comparable skills...i'm just speaking for other chicks out there)
81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.
Ha ha ha ha....
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.
I've never heard of that at all. Why is that? Is this common knowledge to guys?
77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
Hmmmm...that's a tough one to figure out. There's the Monogamy Years (i.e. 3-4 years kissing the dude), then you've got the Single Phase (kissing a few guys a night)...it seems like 50 might be a better number. No wait....35. Yeah. 35-50. That includes kissing your guy friend or that kid in 3rd grade (uh when YOU were in 3rd grade too sicko!)
74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31
I don't know about that...I mean, only once has my husband had a lap dance and I wans't around to see it (i was getting my own lol)...but i don't think i would have cared...however if that happened all the time, yeah i would definitely start to harbor resentment that i was doing that for him.
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
Hmmm, I can say I've been in love 3.5 times (the 0.5 is a grey area, not 100% sure how i felt at the time if it was legit or not)...so 35 dudes been used...I don't know if the two are related. I mean, the other day Ryan helped me with my car. That's just a friend helping a friend. I wasn't "using" him, it was done out of friendship (obviously!), why does one have to do with the other?
72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.
Yeah, like training drills. I agree.
70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.
YES
YES
YES!!!
64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.
YES
YES
YES!
61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
THIS IS SUCH CRAP! If i my problem is that my car needs to be fixed, trust me, I want a solution. If my problem is that I can't get to work the next day 'cause my car is in the shop, I want a solution. If I dropped a bottle of hair dye on the carpet, I want a solution. Point is, we don't usually tell guys all our problems 'cause we take care of our sh*t ourselves! (Or at least, i do. Minus having Ryan fix the light on my car, which really i had no problems with leaving as-is).
58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.
Good. I'll tell Kraig that when i'm 50 and sleeping with the poolboy.
51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.
EXACTLY. Didn't I blog about this already?
50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.
Who wrote this crap? I'm a size 5 or 5.5....Idon't know any chick with a shoe size smaller than a 9.5 who would do this (and if you're bigger than 9, you do it out of necessity).
49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.
OMG you have no idea! I'm obsessed with the urinal concept. In fact, note to self: write blog about all the thigns that guys do that youw ish you could.
48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.
HA no fears there...I've been TOLD that I'm not the "coolest girl"...yeah thanks f*cker.
44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.
Egads, interesting perspective. Thank God i'm not a psycho jealous girl...if that was my way to keep a man, i'd be like "uhhh...I think we should start seeing other people. It's not you, it's me."
37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.
Obviously. We have ONE more reason to go to the bathroom. There is nothing more sick than the sight of pee, poop, AND a bloody tampon in the toilet. That's why my general rule when i go to clubs: I empty my bladder at the start of the night (i.e. when women only use the bathroom to fix their makeup) and tough it out for the rest of the night till i get home!
33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!
That is SUCH BS! First off, that's sick. Secondly, you should always wash your bras after 1 use 'cause the oils in your skin break down the bras (and you need that stuff to keep you uhhh uplifted!)
30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21
True dat.
27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.
Hell yeah. Whatever you gotta do i guess.
25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.
That means that every guy with a girlfriend/woman-friend has a friend that wants to sleep with you. Ummm...yeah i wouldn't hold this as gospel. that being said, does that mean that oneo f my friends wants to sleep with my husband? I don't know if that's flattering or if that makes me want to kill that bitch!
19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.
DANG this is so unscientific, and yet, so true.
16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.
And by "nerve to ask", they don't mean "accidentally put your penis in her ass".
11. She likes one of your friends.
Ha ha ha...d'oh.
Norm:7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.
Actually Kraig dated a stripper and I was just more obsessed with finding out what fake boobs feel like (obviously you don't need to be a stripper to have fake boobs, but that was the only part of the history that i found interesting).
6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)
YES
YES
YES
Mother effer I kiss himo nce without shaving and i'm broken out for months. I'm on effing medication even. It hurts like a BITCH when you guys don't shave.
5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
Obviously. If you use the latter, you'll have to clean up the mess. And that's the last thing you want to worry about after you've just off'ed someone. "Swiffer - For Blood Stains!"
2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.
I disagree. It depends on the chick. If he took one of MY girlfriend's who's opinion is similar to mine, then I have no problems with that.
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
Do chicks really lie about this stuff? Is 12 really that bad of a number? (Mine's not 12, FYI, but i'm curious to know if it is).
Listen up guys! Here are the ones that I've gotta note...
99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.
HA! Exactly! And people make fun of me 'cause on my first date with kraig i didn't shave my legs and I wore granny underwear! EXACTLY!!!!
96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.
There's no "set gift" to give your boyfriend if you need a last minute idea, but chicks are SO easy when it comse to that.
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
I mean, it doesn't make us not LIKE you...it just makse it harder for us to want to molest you.
94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
Heh heh i can think of one chick in particular who is DEFINITELY nutty. I agree.
90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.
Hell yeah! I woudln't want a random dude driving my car but when I moved to California for some reason I ended up driving all those shmucks...wtf. Why don't you leave your testicles at home too?
89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.
Yep! True dat.
87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.
I'm going to punch someone. "Get pregnant"?! First off, time off for pregnancies is unpaid, so that's worth nothing. And why is it fair that becuase your stupid gender can't get pregnant that I have to get paid less? SOMEONE'S gotta obviously have babies to keep up the species...but oh, because we're in charge of keeping mankind alive, we should get paid less?
AND...to top it off...not everyone has kids. So because I've got a uterus and POTENTIALLY might get pregnant, I should suck it up?
(actually...i'm not complaining...in my line of work i've never gotten paid less than a dude with comparable skills...i'm just speaking for other chicks out there)
81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.
Ha ha ha ha....
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.
I've never heard of that at all. Why is that? Is this common knowledge to guys?
77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
Hmmmm
74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31
I don't know about that...I mean, only once has my husband had a lap dance and I wans't around to see it (i was getting my own lol)...but i don't think i would have cared...however if that happened all the time, yeah i would definitely start to harbor resentment that i was doing that for him.
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
Hmmm, I can say I've been in love 3.5 times (the 0.5 is a grey area, not 100% sure how i felt at the time if it was legit or not)...so 35 dudes been used...I don't know if the two are related. I mean, the other day Ryan helped me with my car. That's just a friend helping a friend. I wasn't "using" him, it was done out of friendship (obviously!), why does one have to do with the other?
72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.
Yeah, like training drills. I agree.
70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.
YES
YES
YES!!!
64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.
YES
YES
YES!
61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
THIS IS SUCH CRAP! If i my problem is that my car needs to be fixed, trust me, I want a solution. If my problem is that I can't get to work the next day 'cause my car is in the shop, I want a solution. If I dropped a bottle of hair dye on the carpet, I want a solution. Point is, we don't usually tell guys all our problems 'cause we take care of our sh*t ourselves! (Or at least, i do. Minus having Ryan fix the light on my car, which really i had no problems with leaving as-is).
58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.
Good. I'll tell Kraig that when i'm 50 and sleeping with the poolboy.
51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.
EXACTLY. Didn't I blog about this already?
50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.
Who wrote this crap? I'm a size 5 or 5.5....Idon't know any chick with a shoe size smaller than a 9.5 who would do this (and if you're bigger than 9, you do it out of necessity).
49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.
OMG you have no idea! I'm obsessed with the urinal concept. In fact, note to self: write blog about all the thigns that guys do that youw ish you could.
48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.
HA no fears there...I've been TOLD that I'm not the "coolest girl"...yeah thanks f*cker.
44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.
Egads, interesting perspective. Thank God i'm not a psycho jealous girl...if that was my way to keep a man, i'd be like "uhhh...I think we should start seeing other people. It's not you, it's me."
37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.
Obviously. We have ONE more reason to go to the bathroom. There is nothing more sick than the sight of pee, poop, AND a bloody tampon in the toilet. That's why my general rule when i go to clubs: I empty my bladder at the start of the night (i.e. when women only use the bathroom to fix their makeup) and tough it out for the rest of the night till i get home!
33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!
That is SUCH BS! First off, that's sick. Secondly, you should always wash your bras after 1 use 'cause the oils in your skin break down the bras (and you need that stuff to keep you uhhh uplifted!)
30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21
True dat.
27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.
Hell yeah. Whatever you gotta do i guess.
25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.
That means that every guy with a girlfriend/woman-friend has a friend that wants to sleep with you. Ummm...yeah i wouldn't hold this as gospel. that being said, does that mean that oneo f my friends wants to sleep with my husband? I don't know if that's flattering or if that makes me want to kill that bitch!
19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.
DANG this is so unscientific, and yet, so true.
16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.
And by "nerve to ask", they don't mean "accidentally put your penis in her ass".
11. She likes one of your friends.
Ha ha ha...d'oh.
Norm:7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.
Actually Kraig dated a stripper and I was just more obsessed with finding out what fake boobs feel like (obviously you don't need to be a stripper to have fake boobs, but that was the only part of the history that i found interesting).
6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)
YES
YES
YES
Mother effer I kiss himo nce without shaving and i'm broken out for months. I'm on effing medication even. It hurts like a BITCH when you guys don't shave.
5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
Obviously. If you use the latter, you'll have to clean up the mess. And that's the last thing you want to worry about after you've just off'ed someone. "Swiffer - For Blood Stains!"
2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.
I disagree. It depends on the chick. If he took one of MY girlfriend's who's opinion is similar to mine, then I have no problems with that.
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
Do chicks really lie about this stuff? Is 12 really that bad of a number? (Mine's not 12, FYI, but i'm curious to know if it is).
Things i hate...
Note to self: do a bitchfest and get out of your system the list of things you hate.
I absolutely hate it when people ask me if I'm in a bad mood. If I'm not, simply asking that will put me in a bad mood. Someone today told me I was in a bad mood yesterady. I wasn't in a bad mood at all in fact. So now that's put me in a cranky mother effing mood today...
I absolutely hate it when people ask me if I'm in a bad mood. If I'm not, simply asking that will put me in a bad mood. Someone today told me I was in a bad mood yesterady. I wasn't in a bad mood at all in fact. So now that's put me in a cranky mother effing mood today...
Dang...
What I would KILL to be in bed right now. Mother effer. I'm exhausted...all week....I worked out Sunday night and haven't gone to the gym since which is
a) stressing me out....working out is my outlet for aggression
b) bugging me 'cause i wanna keep using my new shoes!
I passed out at 8:30 last night, wtf. So if i talk to anyone...don't tell me what happened on Lost, ANTM...I did manage to watch Bold and the Beautiful, and they have this annoying kid with blond curly hair...a Shirley Temple-type. She irritates the bacon out of me. They're on an island right now...I hope a monsoon comes and wipes out that kid, she drives me nuts.
In other news, Kraig is OBSESSED with this domestic bunny that's been spotted in our complex...he wants to take it home. Yesterday he called me and asked me to come out and grab something from his car...I was terrified that it was the bunny ("Cocoa" as he's named it).
that's pretty much all I had to say today...my brain is eagerly anticipating Saturday morning...I plan on sleeping ALL morning and ALL day...mmm mmm good.
a) stressing me out....working out is my outlet for aggression
b) bugging me 'cause i wanna keep using my new shoes!
I passed out at 8:30 last night, wtf. So if i talk to anyone...don't tell me what happened on Lost, ANTM...I did manage to watch Bold and the Beautiful, and they have this annoying kid with blond curly hair...a Shirley Temple-type. She irritates the bacon out of me. They're on an island right now...I hope a monsoon comes and wipes out that kid, she drives me nuts.
In other news, Kraig is OBSESSED with this domestic bunny that's been spotted in our complex...he wants to take it home. Yesterday he called me and asked me to come out and grab something from his car...I was terrified that it was the bunny ("Cocoa" as he's named it).
that's pretty much all I had to say today...my brain is eagerly anticipating Saturday morning...I plan on sleeping ALL morning and ALL day...mmm mmm good.
Letter to the Editor
Re: letters to the editor...
You gotta live a little... stop actin' sooooo grown up, and enjoy life while it happens. Cause yer gonna wake up at 40 and wonder where life went, and when yer gonna have some fun.
Who says that I don't have fun? I go out with friends all the time, I'm not sitting at home crunching numbers away...my thing is though, I'm not going to be stupid about it...I have a $500K house and if something happened to my husband, i'd be f*cked...especially because I want to have kids. So why is it considered like i'm not "living" because I want to make sure I've got things in place in case something happens to me or Kraig and we want to protect things we've spent our whole lives working towards? How crappy would that be, first my husband dies and now i gotta sell the house?
take some more trips. Spend some money frivously because the Norm is right. Your going to wake and not have been sponteous enough or traveled enough.
Uhhh first off, I've travelled plenty...i only have ONE more trip that I want to take and the only reason I can't take it is because I have no vacation time, not because I don't have the money (all my vacation time gets used up going to Ottawa or when my friends from Ottawa come to visit, and 1 week this year is going to be spent in Tahoe). Heck, i'm planning a trip to vegas today. And quite honestly, just because you guys like travelling alot doesn't mean everyone does. I find it exhausting and when I end up getting a good chunk of money the first thing I think of spending it on ISN'T a trip somewhere. As for spending money more frivolously...I do go on shoe shopping sprees, etc, but no offense I think that's pretty retarded advice to give to people ("spend money more frivolously") :P ...that works if you're debt-free but we're not BECAUSE of frivolous things.
Put it this way: I don't ENJOY blowing loads of cash. I enjoy OTHER people blowing cash, but just because somep eople like spending money, like going on trips, doesn't mean other people do. I'm not going around telling other people to SAVE their money...but I know for me, I get MUCH more satisfaction having money in the bank than I would from ANY shopping purchase. That's just me, so suck it. That's like if I went around telling people they should eat more chocolate and they'd be happier...uhhh not everyone likes chocolate, or not everyone likes it to excess, so wtf kind of advice is that to give as a blanket statement that because some people like to blow their money EVERYONE should?
IN ADDITION...regardless of whether I spend my money frivolously, we still have bills to pay...wtf, do you suggest I suddenly don't pay them? Forget the car payment...the timeshare payment...the credit card bills...you know what? Why don't I skip paying my property taxes too? There are still obligations to be met....I'm not going to skip out on the house insurance bill I got yesterday because i should "spend money frivolously"....(which ironically the reason I HAVE house insurance is because Kraig and I have alot of things we've splurged on that I would like to keep protected).
I have a coworker who's husband died when her son was 4. I don't want to have to struggle financially with a child because my husband was killed. I have a friend who got cancer and has been in and out of the hospital for the past 2 years, i don't want Kraig to be burdened and have to sell the house because I can't work. I don't want to be in the hosptial for 15 years like that Shiavo chick because Kraig and I differ on how to handle pulling the plug...i'd rather take care of that crap in advance. I don't want the courts to decide who gets my kid(s) if we both die, because I know that I would rather have one of my girlfriend's look after our kids, as stated in our Trust. I think most people out there live TOO frivolously because they don't have that crap taken care of...i have all of it under control AND i spend money if i really want something. Why is that bad?
Plus then you have to be sooooo careful with your retirement money can't spend to much or you'll have to go back out and work because you spent it all.
Uh yeah I wouldn't bank on it being problem with me SPENDING too much of my retirement (neither of us have pensions, and much like people I know who are over 65, I'll end up having to work anyway).
Sorry, it just really irks me...trust me, i have NO problems spending money if i want something. However I'm not going to be retarded about it...things like 401Ks, life insurance, disability insurance, home insurance, car insurance, bills...that sh*t needs to be paid and I'm not going to go into DEBT over that crap (maybe some of you can sleep easy with debt. I can't. I dont' like owing friends money, let alone a stranger). I have no problems buying fun things on occasion, going on trips...i certainly wish I had more money to do those things but security is much, MUCH more important to me and I'm not going to sacrifice security. I'd rather just find a way to make more money.
Norm: HA considering the first time you met me i got plastered drunk and partied all night I should hope you realize that i have no problems letting loose!
Let's put it in another perspective...telling people to let loose, spendm ore money...is basically assuming that spending money is the key to happiness. Don't get me wrong, my thoughts are money doesn't buy happiness, but NOT having money does bring unhappiness...I could go on a huge trip, spend tons of dough...and end up just as happy as say spending tons of time with my friends, going to the beach, hanging in, watching movies. I do NOT rely on money for happiness...I use it as a means of security, and a necessary tool if there are things I want to accomplish (and sometimes that accomplishment may mean adding a pinstripe blackskirt to my closet, which i have no problems with). I don't think the sheer act of spending money is a solution to anything, and i don't think spending money is the definition or a necessity for "living life".
Dammit I need Carrie and Nic D to start writing comments in my blog backing me up on this crap.....
Okay, end of THursday morning rant. You know what i'm going to tell people...
SUCK IT!
heh heh.
This random rant about money brought to you buy the letters I, H, M, J, and the number 0
Edited to add (tweaked to protect the innocent lol):
And it's NOT bad to want to protect the things you value. You and Kraig just went on a road trip to visit friends, for goodness sake. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier to fork over the dough for a home insurance bill! It's painful to drop that kinda of cash on something you know you need but that it's not necessarily "fun" to have!
Exactly.
You gotta live a little... stop actin' sooooo grown up, and enjoy life while it happens. Cause yer gonna wake up at 40 and wonder where life went, and when yer gonna have some fun.
Who says that I don't have fun? I go out with friends all the time, I'm not sitting at home crunching numbers away...my thing is though, I'm not going to be stupid about it...I have a $500K house and if something happened to my husband, i'd be f*cked...especially because I want to have kids. So why is it considered like i'm not "living" because I want to make sure I've got things in place in case something happens to me or Kraig and we want to protect things we've spent our whole lives working towards? How crappy would that be, first my husband dies and now i gotta sell the house?
take some more trips. Spend some money frivously because the Norm is right. Your going to wake and not have been sponteous enough or traveled enough.
Uhhh first off, I've travelled plenty...i only have ONE more trip that I want to take and the only reason I can't take it is because I have no vacation time, not because I don't have the money (all my vacation time gets used up going to Ottawa or when my friends from Ottawa come to visit, and 1 week this year is going to be spent in Tahoe). Heck, i'm planning a trip to vegas today. And quite honestly, just because you guys like travelling alot doesn't mean everyone does. I find it exhausting and when I end up getting a good chunk of money the first thing I think of spending it on ISN'T a trip somewhere. As for spending money more frivolously...I do go on shoe shopping sprees, etc, but no offense I think that's pretty retarded advice to give to people ("spend money more frivolously") :P ...that works if you're debt-free but we're not BECAUSE of frivolous things.
Put it this way: I don't ENJOY blowing loads of cash. I enjoy OTHER people blowing cash, but just because somep eople like spending money, like going on trips, doesn't mean other people do. I'm not going around telling other people to SAVE their money...but I know for me, I get MUCH more satisfaction having money in the bank than I would from ANY shopping purchase. That's just me, so suck it. That's like if I went around telling people they should eat more chocolate and they'd be happier...uhhh not everyone likes chocolate, or not everyone likes it to excess, so wtf kind of advice is that to give as a blanket statement that because some people like to blow their money EVERYONE should?
IN ADDITION...regardless of whether I spend my money frivolously, we still have bills to pay...wtf, do you suggest I suddenly don't pay them? Forget the car payment...the timeshare payment...the credit card bills...you know what? Why don't I skip paying my property taxes too? There are still obligations to be met....I'm not going to skip out on the house insurance bill I got yesterday because i should "spend money frivolously"....(which ironically the reason I HAVE house insurance is because Kraig and I have alot of things we've splurged on that I would like to keep protected).
I have a coworker who's husband died when her son was 4. I don't want to have to struggle financially with a child because my husband was killed. I have a friend who got cancer and has been in and out of the hospital for the past 2 years, i don't want Kraig to be burdened and have to sell the house because I can't work. I don't want to be in the hosptial for 15 years like that Shiavo chick because Kraig and I differ on how to handle pulling the plug...i'd rather take care of that crap in advance. I don't want the courts to decide who gets my kid(s) if we both die, because I know that I would rather have one of my girlfriend's look after our kids, as stated in our Trust. I think most people out there live TOO frivolously because they don't have that crap taken care of...i have all of it under control AND i spend money if i really want something. Why is that bad?
Plus then you have to be sooooo careful with your retirement money can't spend to much or you'll have to go back out and work because you spent it all.
Uh yeah I wouldn't bank on it being problem with me SPENDING too much of my retirement (neither of us have pensions, and much like people I know who are over 65, I'll end up having to work anyway).
Sorry, it just really irks me...trust me, i have NO problems spending money if i want something. However I'm not going to be retarded about it...things like 401Ks, life insurance, disability insurance, home insurance, car insurance, bills...that sh*t needs to be paid and I'm not going to go into DEBT over that crap (maybe some of you can sleep easy with debt. I can't. I dont' like owing friends money, let alone a stranger). I have no problems buying fun things on occasion, going on trips...i certainly wish I had more money to do those things but security is much, MUCH more important to me and I'm not going to sacrifice security. I'd rather just find a way to make more money.
Norm: HA considering the first time you met me i got plastered drunk and partied all night I should hope you realize that i have no problems letting loose!
Let's put it in another perspective...telling people to let loose, spendm ore money...is basically assuming that spending money is the key to happiness. Don't get me wrong, my thoughts are money doesn't buy happiness, but NOT having money does bring unhappiness...I could go on a huge trip, spend tons of dough...and end up just as happy as say spending tons of time with my friends, going to the beach, hanging in, watching movies. I do NOT rely on money for happiness...I use it as a means of security, and a necessary tool if there are things I want to accomplish (and sometimes that accomplishment may mean adding a pinstripe blackskirt to my closet, which i have no problems with). I don't think the sheer act of spending money is a solution to anything, and i don't think spending money is the definition or a necessity for "living life".
Dammit I need Carrie and Nic D to start writing comments in my blog backing me up on this crap.....
Okay, end of THursday morning rant. You know what i'm going to tell people...
SUCK IT!
heh heh.
This random rant about money brought to you buy the letters I, H, M, J, and the number 0
Edited to add (tweaked to protect the innocent lol):
And it's NOT bad to want to protect the things you value. You and Kraig just went on a road trip to visit friends, for goodness sake. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier to fork over the dough for a home insurance bill! It's painful to drop that kinda of cash on something you know you need but that it's not necessarily "fun" to have!
Exactly.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
You are ear delicious
Okay, there IS nothing wrong with a home renovation blog...when you've gutted the place...but when you blog about how you're thinking of maybe considering looking over the thought of painting your kitchen maybe a sage or a mushroomy kinda color...uh yeah no that's stab-yourself-with-a-fork boring.
So I got my home insurance renewal, along with my home warranty renewal, along with having to sign the life insurance paperwork.
Home insurance: $563....That gives me $70K in dwelling insurance (it's all the inside stuff, the structure is part of the hOA)...0 for other structures (since i don't have a poolhouse!)...$79,000 for personaly property (I should revisit that...)....$300K for liability (not fully sure what that is) and $2K for medical payments (oh great, a bandaid!)....
Good times...
I'm not renewing the home warranty...'cause...i already suckered a new water heater outo f them...and i'mtoo poor for the $300+ payment.
As for life insurance...going with term 'cause once again, i'm too poor for anything else. At least with life insurance, after we sign on....we'll now be able to drive as crazy and reckless on the streets as we want.
You know what? I wish when I was a kid and said how badly I wanted to be a grownup that my parents had sat me down for 6 hours and forced me to look at paperwork after paperwork after paperwork…sure would have made me relish my childhood a bit more...
I wish when i was a kid and i said how when i grew up, i was gonna do whatever I wanted and stay out as late as I wanted...someone had said "HA good luck finding the money to do whatever you want and even when you save up for it, you're too old to stay out past 11 without passing out anyway! Sucker!"....
Basically, I want a refund on my Adult Life. Let me shop around a bit more, get a better deal...this one wasn't quite what i was looking for, it seems to be a bit too much work and upkeep. I want to buy an Adult Life that's a little less maintenance, a little more automatic, possibly with a warranty on all parts, and a much longer shelf life.
So I got my home insurance renewal, along with my home warranty renewal, along with having to sign the life insurance paperwork.
Home insurance: $563....That gives me $70K in dwelling insurance (it's all the inside stuff, the structure is part of the hOA)...0 for other structures (since i don't have a poolhouse!)...$79,000 for personaly property (I should revisit that...)....$300K for liability (not fully sure what that is) and $2K for medical payments (oh great, a bandaid!)....
Good times...
I'm not renewing the home warranty...'cause...i already suckered a new water heater outo f them...and i'mtoo poor for the $300+ payment.
As for life insurance...going with term 'cause once again, i'm too poor for anything else. At least with life insurance, after we sign on....we'll now be able to drive as crazy and reckless on the streets as we want.
You know what? I wish when I was a kid and said how badly I wanted to be a grownup that my parents had sat me down for 6 hours and forced me to look at paperwork after paperwork after paperwork…sure would have made me relish my childhood a bit more...
I wish when i was a kid and i said how when i grew up, i was gonna do whatever I wanted and stay out as late as I wanted...someone had said "HA good luck finding the money to do whatever you want and even when you save up for it, you're too old to stay out past 11 without passing out anyway! Sucker!"....
Basically, I want a refund on my Adult Life. Let me shop around a bit more, get a better deal...this one wasn't quite what i was looking for, it seems to be a bit too much work and upkeep. I want to buy an Adult Life that's a little less maintenance, a little more automatic, possibly with a warranty on all parts, and a much longer shelf life.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
quickie
Woo hoo, went to lunch with Katelyn today....first I got to see Meghan who i hadn't seen in 3 years, now Katelyn who I haven't seen in over a year...Heidi Ho! (She looked fantastic, mother effer I wish i could curl my hair like that)...
In other news: I hate blockbuster...go Netflix!
In other news: I hate blockbuster...go Netflix!
Freaky....
On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be:
01:02:03 04/05/06
That won't ever happen again.
Someone's got WAY too much time on their hands to notice that stuff!
01:02:03 04/05/06
That won't ever happen again.
Someone's got WAY too much time on their hands to notice that stuff!
Monday, April 03, 2006
Weekend wrap up
This is the funniest link I've gotten in awhile...go Kraig for sending it to me:
Ebay Sale of a guy's "box"
And now, picture links:
Disney's California Adventure
Stash pictures and a few from when it hailed
San Jose this past weekend
Unfortunately I didn't get to see everyone that I wanted to see, i was pretty much only there for a day (Sorry Marlene!), but I DID manage to see Meghan who I hadn't seen in years...speaking of, geezus Gilroy is like a mini-Orange County...
Ebay Sale of a guy's "box"
And now, picture links:
Disney's California Adventure
Stash pictures and a few from when it hailed
San Jose this past weekend
Unfortunately I didn't get to see everyone that I wanted to see, i was pretty much only there for a day (Sorry Marlene!), but I DID manage to see Meghan who I hadn't seen in years...speaking of, geezus Gilroy is like a mini-Orange County...
Thursday, March 30, 2006
IM with my mom
If you're THAT bored...and this is me trying to be social...yeah, yeah, i'm a bad daughter, i know....
My_mom: hi bean, everything ok?
Me: yup
My_mom: good
My_mom: last week and this we got such nice weather, always sunny and for the rest of the week +13
My_mom: been busy spring cleaning
Me: nice
My_mom: trying to get everything out of the way so i'm free when its nice to sit outside
Me: okay
My_mom: shnoorly seems to be better, i think he hurt himself or something, he didnt want to jump on the bed and sleep close, he slept in the corner under my desk
Me: poor baby
My_mom: i know, and when i tried to pick him up he meowed
Me: take him to teh vet
My_mom: so i left him, today i lifted him on the bed and off again, so he doesnt have to make big jumps, but he is better i can see it
My_mom: its not bad enough for the vet, thats something he just have to bathe out himself
Me: poor baby
My_mom: a bit bruised or something, but we are watching him
My_mom: marma ok?
My_mom: and stashy pooh hehe
Me: The cats are fine.
My_mom: been thinking... remember u dont like to do anything with that space next to your house with that poor plant not doing well?
Me: that plant is doing fine
My_mom: oh, thought u said it didnt
My_mom: it looked poorly
Me: i don't know, it's still alive i guess
My_mom: anyway just an idea..... when u are ready for it maybe...
Me: it's been raining the past fwe days
My_mom: remove that plat, spray the earth with ant killer, cause u said there are ants cribbling around, top it with gravel or river stone, put a cement slab in the middle and put a big flower pot on it and plant something in it that likes shade
My_mom: plat <-- plant... hehe
Me: that seems like alot of unneccesary work for a plant no one sees
My_mom: i dont think so, when people sit on the patio, they can see
Me: i'm not too worried about it.
My_mom: or.... put gravel and cement blocks and store the waterhose u got there
Me: ok
My_mom: i know... just an idea when u feel like doing something with that space
Me: ok
My_mom: i really enjoyed sitting outside on that patio
Me: i'm glad
My_mom: anyway, i leave u alone, work is calling u, hug the cats for me, especially marma
My_mom: i really must say u and kraig tried your best to make me feel comfy ther, apart from that little temper of yours
My_mom: c u
Me: bye
My_mom: hi bean, everything ok?
Me: yup
My_mom: good
My_mom: last week and this we got such nice weather, always sunny and for the rest of the week +13
My_mom: been busy spring cleaning
Me: nice
My_mom: trying to get everything out of the way so i'm free when its nice to sit outside
Me: okay
My_mom: shnoorly seems to be better, i think he hurt himself or something, he didnt want to jump on the bed and sleep close, he slept in the corner under my desk
Me: poor baby
My_mom: i know, and when i tried to pick him up he meowed
Me: take him to teh vet
My_mom: so i left him, today i lifted him on the bed and off again, so he doesnt have to make big jumps, but he is better i can see it
My_mom: its not bad enough for the vet, thats something he just have to bathe out himself
Me: poor baby
My_mom: a bit bruised or something, but we are watching him
My_mom: marma ok?
My_mom: and stashy pooh hehe
Me: The cats are fine.
My_mom: been thinking... remember u dont like to do anything with that space next to your house with that poor plant not doing well?
Me: that plant is doing fine
My_mom: oh, thought u said it didnt
My_mom: it looked poorly
Me: i don't know, it's still alive i guess
My_mom: anyway just an idea..... when u are ready for it maybe...
Me: it's been raining the past fwe days
My_mom: remove that plat, spray the earth with ant killer, cause u said there are ants cribbling around, top it with gravel or river stone, put a cement slab in the middle and put a big flower pot on it and plant something in it that likes shade
My_mom: plat <-- plant... hehe
Me: that seems like alot of unneccesary work for a plant no one sees
My_mom: i dont think so, when people sit on the patio, they can see
Me: i'm not too worried about it.
My_mom: or.... put gravel and cement blocks and store the waterhose u got there
Me: ok
My_mom: i know... just an idea when u feel like doing something with that space
Me: ok
My_mom: i really enjoyed sitting outside on that patio
Me: i'm glad
My_mom: anyway, i leave u alone, work is calling u, hug the cats for me, especially marma
My_mom: i really must say u and kraig tried your best to make me feel comfy ther, apart from that little temper of yours
My_mom: c u
Me: bye
Girls! Girls! Girls!
The above, to a girl, translates to:
SHOES! SHOES! SHOES!
I finally deposited the check from my dog walking days so I could splurge on new workout shoes. See, here's the thing. Around 2 years ago I splurged on these Reeboks that were specifically designed for people who use cardio machines because eventually your feet go numb. I was SO excited (no more cross trainers!)...ummm riiigghtt. The Reeboks were effing horrible and within 10 minutes my feet go numb. How can you screw up exercise shoes?!
Anyway I had bought them off amazon so I wasn't in the mood to pay for shipping to send them back but they're pretty much brand new but I still use my old Mizunos when working out.
Yesterday....I finally got new shoes. Asics Gel-Solution. They're like a dark pewter and dark turquoise accent.
I know, you're thinking "uhhh those are some nasty colors Sabina".
Bear with me.
They're edgy! They're high tech! I take my workouts seriously and these shoes are like.....running shoes on steroids. I love them. (Okay i have serious over pronation and probably should have gotten something with more support but you try finding shoes that fit my mutantly-small feet!) Plus i hate white running shoes.
Shoe nirvana to say the least. I got to use them last night...and although I have a stretched ligament in my left leg, i managed to get 12 minutes of jogging in which is ALOT more than i've been able to do in the past (I could have gone longer, but when that pain sets in...i have no desire to damage it more and only jog once every 3 years on the treadmill).
Let's see...in other news...I'm going to San Jose this weekend for a long overdue trip to see my friends (and try to see my mother in law while i'm at it...I've been blessed to have a super awesome MIL).
In tv land...
Lost last night was FANTASTIC. I mind, mind blowingly fantastic. Some people have so-so background stories, but Locke's story is pretty tragic and you can't go wrong with that bad hairline of his in the flashbacks.
Real World: after a few crappy seasons, this one is really shaping up finally. There hasn't been a decent season since Las Vegas. I'm digging the token hot guy, I love the token psycho girl (which one? Exactly!) and the token gay guy is a true snob. I love it.
8th & Ocean: now realistically I probably wouldn't watch this if it wasn't on after Real World. It's about a group of male models and female models who live in this apartment complex in Florida. So you'd think that maybe, just maybe, models actually have...you know, deep thoughts and stuff. Real World casts always think they're SOOOO wise and worldly, but at least they have something to say. 8th & Ocean...oh heck no. There is NO hamster running on the wheel in their head. The only characters worth watching are Brit (because she's uber religious in a world clearly lacking morals) and Sabrina (because she's 2nd to her twin sister, who's a total bitch).
Okay that's pretty much all I have to say for now...like I said, I lead a boring, boring life! Maybe next time I'll bore everyone to tears with how I want to paint the kitchen a mushroom-ish kind of color and rent a deep carpet cleaner from Home Depot.
good times.
SHOES! SHOES! SHOES!
I finally deposited the check from my dog walking days so I could splurge on new workout shoes. See, here's the thing. Around 2 years ago I splurged on these Reeboks that were specifically designed for people who use cardio machines because eventually your feet go numb. I was SO excited (no more cross trainers!)...ummm riiigghtt. The Reeboks were effing horrible and within 10 minutes my feet go numb. How can you screw up exercise shoes?!
Anyway I had bought them off amazon so I wasn't in the mood to pay for shipping to send them back but they're pretty much brand new but I still use my old Mizunos when working out.
Yesterday....I finally got new shoes. Asics Gel-Solution. They're like a dark pewter and dark turquoise accent.
I know, you're thinking "uhhh those are some nasty colors Sabina".
Bear with me.
They're edgy! They're high tech! I take my workouts seriously and these shoes are like.....running shoes on steroids. I love them. (Okay i have serious over pronation and probably should have gotten something with more support but you try finding shoes that fit my mutantly-small feet!) Plus i hate white running shoes.
Shoe nirvana to say the least. I got to use them last night...and although I have a stretched ligament in my left leg, i managed to get 12 minutes of jogging in which is ALOT more than i've been able to do in the past (I could have gone longer, but when that pain sets in...i have no desire to damage it more and only jog once every 3 years on the treadmill).
Let's see...in other news...I'm going to San Jose this weekend for a long overdue trip to see my friends (and try to see my mother in law while i'm at it...I've been blessed to have a super awesome MIL).
In tv land...
Lost last night was FANTASTIC. I mind, mind blowingly fantastic. Some people have so-so background stories, but Locke's story is pretty tragic and you can't go wrong with that bad hairline of his in the flashbacks.
Real World: after a few crappy seasons, this one is really shaping up finally. There hasn't been a decent season since Las Vegas. I'm digging the token hot guy, I love the token psycho girl (which one? Exactly!) and the token gay guy is a true snob. I love it.
8th & Ocean: now realistically I probably wouldn't watch this if it wasn't on after Real World. It's about a group of male models and female models who live in this apartment complex in Florida. So you'd think that maybe, just maybe, models actually have...you know, deep thoughts and stuff. Real World casts always think they're SOOOO wise and worldly, but at least they have something to say. 8th & Ocean...oh heck no. There is NO hamster running on the wheel in their head. The only characters worth watching are Brit (because she's uber religious in a world clearly lacking morals) and Sabrina (because she's 2nd to her twin sister, who's a total bitch).
Okay that's pretty much all I have to say for now...like I said, I lead a boring, boring life! Maybe next time I'll bore everyone to tears with how I want to paint the kitchen a mushroom-ish kind of color and rent a deep carpet cleaner from Home Depot.
good times.
Woo hoo!
Check me out having a controversial subject generating comments on my blog...I love it!
On another note, i'll write more later, I realize i've been incognito. I lead a boring life, what can I say?!
On another note, i'll write more later, I realize i've been incognito. I lead a boring life, what can I say?!
Friday, March 24, 2006
WTF!!
This ((bleep)) seriously pisses me off: Illegal Immigration
Yeah we'd hate to impose rules to make it harder for people to just come here illegally....but as an educated Canadian, I got the f*cking 3rd degree each time i applied for a work visa LEGALLY...and I paid a ton into medicare and unemployment but was never eligible for it (contrary to what people think, if you're on a visa and you lose your job, you DON'T get unemployemnt...you get booted back to your country)...but it's okay for other people to just WALK across, pop out babies, put them in schools taht I'm paying taxes for and theyr'e not, and they can work under the table...
I know life is hard in 3rd world countries, but that's not MY problem. And it's not yours either. there's a ton of people in THIS country that need help first. Why would you give free healthcare to people who are here illegally but not to actual US citizens?! Hell, Canada has "free" healthcare but damn you have to show all your healthcare stuff to prove you're Canadian (your leg could be spurting blood but if you don't have your OHIP card...forget it, you're hosed)...
I only care about my neighbors once the people in MY house are taken care of first. You shoudln't give a sh*t about people in other countries if the peoplei n your own country aren't being taken care of.
AND...sure it sucks...but what if a poor homeless person broke into your home? Would you help them out? I'd call the cops in a heartbeat, i don't care how much help they need. Especially if i have kids. You protect your own FIRST...and then help others.
It's not your responsibility to help the world...and you only help when your loved ones are taken care of first. That's my rule.
Suck it.
Yeah we'd hate to impose rules to make it harder for people to just come here illegally....but as an educated Canadian, I got the f*cking 3rd degree each time i applied for a work visa LEGALLY...and I paid a ton into medicare and unemployment but was never eligible for it (contrary to what people think, if you're on a visa and you lose your job, you DON'T get unemployemnt...you get booted back to your country)...but it's okay for other people to just WALK across, pop out babies, put them in schools taht I'm paying taxes for and theyr'e not, and they can work under the table...
I know life is hard in 3rd world countries, but that's not MY problem. And it's not yours either. there's a ton of people in THIS country that need help first. Why would you give free healthcare to people who are here illegally but not to actual US citizens?! Hell, Canada has "free" healthcare but damn you have to show all your healthcare stuff to prove you're Canadian (your leg could be spurting blood but if you don't have your OHIP card...forget it, you're hosed)...
I only care about my neighbors once the people in MY house are taken care of first. You shoudln't give a sh*t about people in other countries if the peoplei n your own country aren't being taken care of.
AND...sure it sucks...but what if a poor homeless person broke into your home? Would you help them out? I'd call the cops in a heartbeat, i don't care how much help they need. Especially if i have kids. You protect your own FIRST...and then help others.
It's not your responsibility to help the world...and you only help when your loved ones are taken care of first. That's my rule.
Suck it.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Express blog
Is there any better joy in life than seeing a pic of Jessica Alba where she looks...not so pretty?
That should make anyone's day!
That should make anyone's day!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Psycho Chicks demystified
Letter to the editor:
About complimenting a chix... I'll use radient only when they're single.
Attached girls need compliments too, probably more than single chicks! We fear we've let ourselves go and no one else would want us.
"... so it's not like when I get home i'm going to start doing shots by myself while I watch tv or something." Welcome to my world!!!... except replace "watch tv" with surf the internet
Ugh I have an intestinal track of steel, but drinking liquor at night, each night...forget it. Don't people just get...TIRED doing that? I get exhausted the day after a few drinks.
On another note....
I had somewhat of an epiphany...about us chicks and when we go mental. C'mon girls, we all do it. In my case, it starts off with the silent treatment, and by silent treatment I mean giving tons of small, snotty remarks...and then it full on escalates to everything but the kitchen sink...you know it's Psycho Girl behavior when the guy is like "umm...what? Where is this coming from? All i asked was where the scissors are!"...
All we chicks want in this case:
1. To know we are cared about (yeah bad English, suck it)
2. To know we're important in the dude's life
Those two things are key.
For #1:
It's not necessarily that we have to be LOVED. But we do need to know that there's emotion. Like, more than just a yeah you might feel a little sad if we get hit by a bus and DIE kind of emotion. More like a wow...my life wouldn't be as rosy if she weren't in it kind of emotion. Love is always good too, but it's not a requirement (depending where you are in the relationship).
It also falls in line with a chick's mantra, when we're upset, we want you to know WHY we're upset...and we want you to be concerned that we're upset.
Yes, we are somewhat high maintenance creatures. Too bad you can't bone your hamster.
As for #2:
Importance is key. When you dick us around with plans...when you're late...when you don't sell your effing mustang (cough cough)...when you don't call when you say you will...it makes us feel like we're not IMPORTANT.
If we truly, honestly, super duper felt like we were IMPORTANT in a dude's life, we wouldn't go half as psycho on the dude when he effs up. But if we feel like we're expendable...replaceable...unnoticeable...yeah, time to get all Psycho Chick when things go a little sour.
so what's my point?
When guys say "i'm sorry", usually that just doens't cut it...we still feel the need to rip them a new one.
BUT...if my husband were to say to me "I love you more than life itself, and it kills me so much to see you in pain over something I did. You are the most important person in my life. I'm so sorry"...well...I'm pretty sure the forgiveness factor would increase and Psycho CHick behavior would decrease.
Now if you're a dude reading ths, you're probably thinking Wtf. I shouldn't have to butter it up. She's lucky if she GETS an apology at all from me.. Well...true I guess. But the key is to reduce Psycho Chick behavior, and if that's what it takes, isn't it worth it?
Or for my more "suck it" chick answer: I shouldn't have to butter it up when i want a dude to say NOT leave plates everywhere, to take out the trash, to mop the floor. No one's buttering ME up when I gotta swiffer the floor, so no one's gonna butter you up either jackass. Don't tell me that unless I ask nicely, you won't take out the trash...you'll take out the trash because it has to get DONE, regardless.
So...I'll butter it up when I want the dishes done...and you butter it up when you're apologizing and stick to the Care/Importance format.
On an unrelated note, I've been watching the SATC reruns on tv late at night...some of them I haven't seen in ages...let us not forget, Big was NOT the one for her...she should have made it work with Aidan!
About complimenting a chix... I'll use radient only when they're single.
Attached girls need compliments too, probably more than single chicks! We fear we've let ourselves go and no one else would want us.
"... so it's not like when I get home i'm going to start doing shots by myself while I watch tv or something." Welcome to my world!!!... except replace "watch tv" with surf the internet
Ugh I have an intestinal track of steel, but drinking liquor at night, each night...forget it. Don't people just get...TIRED doing that? I get exhausted the day after a few drinks.
On another note....
I had somewhat of an epiphany...about us chicks and when we go mental. C'mon girls, we all do it. In my case, it starts off with the silent treatment, and by silent treatment I mean giving tons of small, snotty remarks...and then it full on escalates to everything but the kitchen sink...you know it's Psycho Girl behavior when the guy is like "umm...what? Where is this coming from? All i asked was where the scissors are!"...
All we chicks want in this case:
1. To know we are cared about (yeah bad English, suck it)
2. To know we're important in the dude's life
Those two things are key.
For #1:
It's not necessarily that we have to be LOVED. But we do need to know that there's emotion. Like, more than just a yeah you might feel a little sad if we get hit by a bus and DIE kind of emotion. More like a wow...my life wouldn't be as rosy if she weren't in it kind of emotion. Love is always good too, but it's not a requirement (depending where you are in the relationship).
It also falls in line with a chick's mantra, when we're upset, we want you to know WHY we're upset...and we want you to be concerned that we're upset.
Yes, we are somewhat high maintenance creatures. Too bad you can't bone your hamster.
As for #2:
Importance is key. When you dick us around with plans...when you're late...when you don't sell your effing mustang (cough cough)...when you don't call when you say you will...it makes us feel like we're not IMPORTANT.
If we truly, honestly, super duper felt like we were IMPORTANT in a dude's life, we wouldn't go half as psycho on the dude when he effs up. But if we feel like we're expendable...replaceable...unnoticeable...yeah, time to get all Psycho Chick when things go a little sour.
so what's my point?
When guys say "i'm sorry", usually that just doens't cut it...we still feel the need to rip them a new one.
BUT...if my husband were to say to me "I love you more than life itself, and it kills me so much to see you in pain over something I did. You are the most important person in my life. I'm so sorry"...well...I'm pretty sure the forgiveness factor would increase and Psycho CHick behavior would decrease.
Now if you're a dude reading ths, you're probably thinking Wtf. I shouldn't have to butter it up. She's lucky if she GETS an apology at all from me.. Well...true I guess. But the key is to reduce Psycho Chick behavior, and if that's what it takes, isn't it worth it?
Or for my more "suck it" chick answer: I shouldn't have to butter it up when i want a dude to say NOT leave plates everywhere, to take out the trash, to mop the floor. No one's buttering ME up when I gotta swiffer the floor, so no one's gonna butter you up either jackass. Don't tell me that unless I ask nicely, you won't take out the trash...you'll take out the trash because it has to get DONE, regardless.
So...I'll butter it up when I want the dishes done...and you butter it up when you're apologizing and stick to the Care/Importance format.
On an unrelated note, I've been watching the SATC reruns on tv late at night...some of them I haven't seen in ages...let us not forget, Big was NOT the one for her...she should have made it work with Aidan!
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