Busy busy busy weekend painting. I don't know how the eff some people can do it like it's no big deal. Prepping takes effing forever. Granted this time I went all out and did the "proper" procedures (wash with TSP, prime, mass amounts of blue tape, etc) 'cause this is my bathroom we're talking about and with the crazy moisture that goes on in there, I don't wanna deal with it later. I even used a putty knife to scrape off the crappy paint that was peeling near the shower and sprayed some Knockdown spray stuff in order to get the cottage cheese texture (gonna be honest...that stuff is crap).
So far so good...I just gotta do one more coat tomorrow morning and i'm doooone...My hands are all raw from scrubbing paint off, I'm high on paint fumes, my cuticles are jacked up...but finally FINALLY we're reaching the end of the horribly nasty Eighties Bathroom...tomorrow after I paint I'm going to head to Lowe's to buy the towel bars, on Monday I'm gonna buy the wall cabinet (need to find one of those 20% off coupons from Bed Bath and Beyond, of course when i NEED one i can't find them, even though I've got a trillion around the house), and then...the last step before the end of this month...replace the gold shower door that's biodegrading and harboring so much cruddy bacteria, i could open my own science center.
Anyway, I realize this is all incredibly boring but that's what you get when you lead a boring life...
Although I must say, I had tons of fun last night getting my drink on...and discovered what The Stranger was.
I'm chatting with this semi-jackass and I mentioned how he had gotten the phone number of Miss Typical OC Chick With Long Blond Hair and Big Trout Lips and he was "I don't need that, there's always the Stranger"...
Me: "What's the Stranger?"
Him: "You've never heard of the Stranger?"
Me: "Obviously not"
Him: "It's when you sit on your hand till it gets numb and then you take care of business but since you can't feel your hand it's like a stranger is doing it to you"...
Me: "WTF!"...
Told EVERY female in the bathroom this concept, they were all like "who's the a-hole who told you that? "...so thankfully I'm not the only female who's never heard of it.
You learn a new thing each day.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Letter to the editor
Do you wear deodorant?
Anti-antiperspirant actually. Dove.
Yeah i suck, usuallyit takes me awhile to write my blogs so if i start mid-sentence back up again, it usually makes for a jacked up sentence.
As for dippin' dots...it's just WEIRD to me. I'm not down with novelty ice cream like that. I had never even heard of it until I moved to California and saw it at the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. I like my ice cream to be one solid chunks, not pebbles of it!
Anti-antiperspirant actually. Dove.
Yeah i suck, usuallyit takes me awhile to write my blogs so if i start mid-sentence back up again, it usually makes for a jacked up sentence.
As for dippin' dots...it's just WEIRD to me. I'm not down with novelty ice cream like that. I had never even heard of it until I moved to California and saw it at the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. I like my ice cream to be one solid chunks, not pebbles of it!
Props...
Just a quick props to my friend Katelyn...who bought her own optometry practice! She's a business owner! With a staff! And a building! That's quite possibly one of the most accomplished things I've ever heard of anyone my age doing. I swear, I'm beyond not motivated like that...so she gets the Kickass Chick of 2007 award!
You know you're from Ottawa when....
Yes yes yes must post more, I've got some movie reviews and general life commentary to provide. In the meantime:
I love this! Made me even more homesick. Courtesy of Christine.
You know you're from Ottawa when....
During grade school, you were warned about "The man in the white van."
Yesss! And it seems that's not a typical school urban legend. Basically rumor/news has it that some kids were kidnapped from the man in the white van, so we had to avoid those vans like the plague.
You have at least one "Woohoo!" towel
Is that from a Sens game? 'Cause if so, yes, I still have my towel.
You know that the women on Dalhousie Street, aren't just "friendly."
Ha haaaaa haaaa. That's from all the hookers there. Anytime you want to throw an insult about a chick you just say "Yeah she looked like she should walk on Dalhousie"
The word Vanier strikes fear into your heart, in fact you duck and cover any time you hear it
So Vanier is the ghetto of Ottawa. Kinda like the Riverside of the OC. I dated a guy who lived there for awhile (Kevin, for those in the know) and seriously, SERIOUSLY, that's pretty effing ghetto there. It even SOUNDS ghetto.
You've been to a parade that only consisted of a few emergency vehicles with banners, some people marching, and Kool FM/Hot 89.9 van
Ha ha pretty much...aren't all Ottawa parades like this?
The dreaded Ice Storm combined with the teachers' strike made 1998 the best school year ever
Well sorta. Previous to that was the teacher's strike of '91, and then the "work to rule" in '96...the Ice Storm was when I was in University, and stupid me actually WENT to school on that day...it was brutal. I almost died trying to lug around my schoolbag full of CSI books (CSI = computer, not Crime Scene Investigation!) in a land completely covered in pure ice.
You're bilingual... or at least you can parler Franglais
Mais oui je parle Francais...et Franglais.
You eat, sleep and breathe the Super Ex while it's open
I used to for awhile, but it's...dirty.I guess they all are, but that yearly fair really is...dirty.
You've swam in Mooney's Bay and had to shower for 2 hours afterwards to get that filthy, filthy water off of you
I refused to ever swim there. That's effing disgusting. When you need a sign telling you what the water quality is for that day, there's a problem.
You don't flinch when asked if you want to eat a beavertail
Beavertails:Canadians = Churros:Californians. It's the same stuff, different shape.
You've been at the top of the peace tower and thought you were amazingly high just because nothing else is allowed to be taller then it
WTF is the peace tower?
You've seriously considered swimming in the Rideau Canal on one of those 30+ degree summer days
GOD no. I've seen how much algae grows in that thing. And it actually looks like warm murky water.
You remember a time when Patrick Lalime was kinda good
Who the eff is that?
Everyone you know has some sort of story about how Alanis Morissette babysat their cousin's best friend's dog's original owner's son-in-law
Of course! I still have my photos of her from when I got her first album autographed at Place D'Orleans. And she taught Sex-Ed to my friend's 9th grade gym class (Alanis was in OAC/Grade 13 when me and my friend were in 9th grade).
You listened to 101.1 XFm, 93.9 KOOL FM and remember when the New Hot 89.9 was still new
Ha ha haaaa. I remember the DJ on 93.9....The Milkman...
You're pretty sure that the corner of Preston and Somerset is the only place in the world where China and Italy touch each other.
Of course!
You think that 613 is the only area code that exists and HATE having to dial it to call people now
you have to do that now? I hated having to dial the area codes when I moved to California...it's so bizarre to me to have to give out my phone number in 10 digits, not 7.
You think Stittsville is the end of the universe
Well I USED to...now I think Canada overall is at the end of the universe.
You've waited 30 minutes for the OC transpo only to realize it came fucking early? Like, what the fuck is that?
I never realized when it came early...it's more like 40 minutes later at the next rotation, i assumed it was 40 minutes LATE. Mannn I hated taking the OC...but I gotta admit, living somewhere where it's unsafe to take the bus...the OC is a relatively good system in a pinch. Or when you're drunk.
You remember when the Scotiabank Place was still the Corel Centre, or better, Palladium
It's called the Scotiabank Place? Of course I remember it as the Palladium and I was annoyed when they changed it to the Corel Centre...but it changed again!? WTF!
You've partied on Parliament Hill on Canada Day
Duh. Obviously. And to anyone who thinks it's not the biggest party in the universe...yer wrong! If you don't hold hands with your friend, you'll lose them in a snap...it's pure pandamonium. LOVE IT. MISS IT BADLY.
You remember going on field trips to the museum of science and tech. every year of elementary school
Ha ha haaa...of course. Plus that art gallery, I remember we had to stare at that Ring of Fire painting that was a few million dollars in order to understand what it was about (ummm just a big canvas painted red. That's it)..finally I was like "okay I get it. You used $18Mil worth of paint. "
You've travelled and waited for over half an hour just to get into Zak's Diner in the Byward Market
Heck yeah! I love their poutine. When I went with Kraig I took him there to try poutine.
A winter without going skating on the Rideau Canal just doesn't seem right
Sorta. I'm a crappy skater, and skating on the Canal scares me 'cause they cut these huge holes out in order to scope out the thickness of the ice, and I've always been afraid of not paying attention and falling in. It's the world's largest skating rink for anyone who cares :P
You have an irrational hatred for those Toronto Maple Leafs and everything they do, have done and will do
Yep.
You've been to, and therefore fallen asleep at, a lynx game
Never. I hate baseball, especially Ottawa baseball.
You've thought that free 67's tickets were the best thing you could ever possible win, ever.
Uhhh not really. There's a reason they're free.
You can spot Spartacat out of a crowd of 19,000 people
You'd have to be blind to not see that thing!
I love this! Made me even more homesick. Courtesy of Christine.
You know you're from Ottawa when....
During grade school, you were warned about "The man in the white van."
Yesss! And it seems that's not a typical school urban legend. Basically rumor/news has it that some kids were kidnapped from the man in the white van, so we had to avoid those vans like the plague.
You have at least one "Woohoo!" towel
Is that from a Sens game? 'Cause if so, yes, I still have my towel.
You know that the women on Dalhousie Street, aren't just "friendly."
Ha haaaaa haaaa. That's from all the hookers there. Anytime you want to throw an insult about a chick you just say "Yeah she looked like she should walk on Dalhousie"
The word Vanier strikes fear into your heart, in fact you duck and cover any time you hear it
So Vanier is the ghetto of Ottawa. Kinda like the Riverside of the OC. I dated a guy who lived there for awhile (Kevin, for those in the know) and seriously, SERIOUSLY, that's pretty effing ghetto there. It even SOUNDS ghetto.
You've been to a parade that only consisted of a few emergency vehicles with banners, some people marching, and Kool FM/Hot 89.9 van
Ha ha pretty much...aren't all Ottawa parades like this?
The dreaded Ice Storm combined with the teachers' strike made 1998 the best school year ever
Well sorta. Previous to that was the teacher's strike of '91, and then the "work to rule" in '96...the Ice Storm was when I was in University, and stupid me actually WENT to school on that day...it was brutal. I almost died trying to lug around my schoolbag full of CSI books (CSI = computer, not Crime Scene Investigation!) in a land completely covered in pure ice.
You're bilingual... or at least you can parler Franglais
Mais oui je parle Francais...et Franglais.
You eat, sleep and breathe the Super Ex while it's open
I used to for awhile, but it's...dirty.I guess they all are, but that yearly fair really is...dirty.
You've swam in Mooney's Bay and had to shower for 2 hours afterwards to get that filthy, filthy water off of you
I refused to ever swim there. That's effing disgusting. When you need a sign telling you what the water quality is for that day, there's a problem.
You don't flinch when asked if you want to eat a beavertail
Beavertails:Canadians = Churros:Californians. It's the same stuff, different shape.
You've been at the top of the peace tower and thought you were amazingly high just because nothing else is allowed to be taller then it
WTF is the peace tower?
You've seriously considered swimming in the Rideau Canal on one of those 30+ degree summer days
GOD no. I've seen how much algae grows in that thing. And it actually looks like warm murky water.
You remember a time when Patrick Lalime was kinda good
Who the eff is that?
Everyone you know has some sort of story about how Alanis Morissette babysat their cousin's best friend's dog's original owner's son-in-law
Of course! I still have my photos of her from when I got her first album autographed at Place D'Orleans. And she taught Sex-Ed to my friend's 9th grade gym class (Alanis was in OAC/Grade 13 when me and my friend were in 9th grade).
You listened to 101.1 XFm, 93.9 KOOL FM and remember when the New Hot 89.9 was still new
Ha ha haaaa. I remember the DJ on 93.9....The Milkman...
You're pretty sure that the corner of Preston and Somerset is the only place in the world where China and Italy touch each other.
Of course!
You think that 613 is the only area code that exists and HATE having to dial it to call people now
you have to do that now? I hated having to dial the area codes when I moved to California...it's so bizarre to me to have to give out my phone number in 10 digits, not 7.
You think Stittsville is the end of the universe
Well I USED to...now I think Canada overall is at the end of the universe.
You've waited 30 minutes for the OC transpo only to realize it came fucking early? Like, what the fuck is that?
I never realized when it came early...it's more like 40 minutes later at the next rotation, i assumed it was 40 minutes LATE. Mannn I hated taking the OC...but I gotta admit, living somewhere where it's unsafe to take the bus...the OC is a relatively good system in a pinch. Or when you're drunk.
You remember when the Scotiabank Place was still the Corel Centre, or better, Palladium
It's called the Scotiabank Place? Of course I remember it as the Palladium and I was annoyed when they changed it to the Corel Centre...but it changed again!? WTF!
You've partied on Parliament Hill on Canada Day
Duh. Obviously. And to anyone who thinks it's not the biggest party in the universe...yer wrong! If you don't hold hands with your friend, you'll lose them in a snap...it's pure pandamonium. LOVE IT. MISS IT BADLY.
You remember going on field trips to the museum of science and tech. every year of elementary school
Ha ha haaa...of course. Plus that art gallery, I remember we had to stare at that Ring of Fire painting that was a few million dollars in order to understand what it was about (ummm just a big canvas painted red. That's it)..finally I was like "okay I get it. You used $18Mil worth of paint. "
You've travelled and waited for over half an hour just to get into Zak's Diner in the Byward Market
Heck yeah! I love their poutine. When I went with Kraig I took him there to try poutine.
A winter without going skating on the Rideau Canal just doesn't seem right
Sorta. I'm a crappy skater, and skating on the Canal scares me 'cause they cut these huge holes out in order to scope out the thickness of the ice, and I've always been afraid of not paying attention and falling in. It's the world's largest skating rink for anyone who cares :P
You have an irrational hatred for those Toronto Maple Leafs and everything they do, have done and will do
Yep.
You've been to, and therefore fallen asleep at, a lynx game
Never. I hate baseball, especially Ottawa baseball.
You've thought that free 67's tickets were the best thing you could ever possible win, ever.
Uhhh not really. There's a reason they're free.
You can spot Spartacat out of a crowd of 19,000 people
You'd have to be blind to not see that thing!
Monday, January 15, 2007
So sad...
This is so sad! She's one of the best and funniest characters on the show.
Actress Darlene Conley, better known as Sally Spectra from 'The Bold & the Beautiful' has died. Conley suffered from gastric cancer. She came public with her disease last november and announced her retirement from the show at the same time. The 72-year old actress played her character for more than twenty years on the show. She earned two Outstanding Supporting Actress Daytime Emmy nominations for her part.
Actress Darlene Conley, better known as Sally Spectra from 'The Bold & the Beautiful' has died. Conley suffered from gastric cancer. She came public with her disease last november and announced her retirement from the show at the same time. The 72-year old actress played her character for more than twenty years on the show. She earned two Outstanding Supporting Actress Daytime Emmy nominations for her part.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Time killer....
I gotta get ready for my company holiday party, but then I started watching this thing on White Supremacy Skinheads on A&E and it got me SOOOOO pissed off (like seriously, SERIOUSLY...pissed off...i'm gonna start my own hate group against people with blond eyebrows...or moles on their hands...or have red hair...because we are a better race without them!wtf)
So...to take my mind off my pissed-off-ness...for your reading pleasure since this blog is all about ME mooo ha ha haaa...
Off-The-Wall Questions:
When was the last time you went to the bathroom outside?
the ONLY time was when i was like 5, and i'm never doing that again.
Family member you most resemble?
My niece. Well I guess she resembles me. My mom says that I look just like my dad's real mom.
Do you own your own Bible?
The only time I've ever TOUCHED a bible was when I was rummaging through a hotel drawer.
Do you wear deodorant?
Anti-antiperspirant actually. Dove.
Do you clean up nice?
Compared to how i look non-cleaned up...hell yeah.
When was the last time you tripped and fell?
OMG yesterday...and when I got up I smashed my head into the metal thingies that hold up my banister.
Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
Hotel in Santa Clara (bay area).
What are you listening to right now?
The sound of my computer humming away.
Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire?
Nope.
Ever run out of gas on the road?
Geezus who hasnt'?
What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn?
Rake leaves. 'Cause then you can jump in the pile when it's done.
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Ad-Aware update. And The Office (avi file) from Matt since my DVR didnt record it and I was freaking out.
Last time you swam in a pool?
Last summer in Arizona.
Have you ever been in a school play?
Ughghghgh yes.
Nursery school: we did this thing where we recited how we kept getting mittens for birthdays, xmas, whatever, and then the very last line was "AND THEY GAVE ME MITTENS AGAIN!" and we all showed our hands with mittens on them...
ANd then in grade 1 or 2 I played the drums for some other school play thingy.
How many kids do you want?
4. The four child plan. Clearly I'm starting too late, but that's the ideal.
Type of music you DISlike most?
Polka.
Are you registered to vote?
Nope. I'm canadian.
Do you have cable?
I have satellite.
Ever prank call anybody?
Ha ha used to all the time. Oh wait I prank called Kraig's friend Chris when he was on his radio show a few months ago.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Hmmm...let's assess:
Bungee jumping at least has an effing cord, BUT...people's necks get jacked up doing that.
THEN...i would say sky diving but I just saw a thing on Oprah about some chick who's parachute got tangled and her faced basically got mauled when she landed.
So...my vote: skydiving but where someone else is strapped with you.
Do you have a garden?
An itty bitty one that is half dying, half going wild.
What's your favorite comic strip?
Far side, FoxTrot, Dilbert, there was one that isn't made anymore about this animals in highschool, that was funny...and...of course...ALIEN LOVES PREDATOR
Bath or Shower?
Shower. The last time I took a full on bath was...a long time ago.
Best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
The Holiday
Best pizza topping?
hmmm...veggie with mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, green peppers...but sometimes a good four cheese works....any Mediterranean pizza with artichokes and sundried tomatoes...
Popcorn or Peanuts?
Popcorn
Orange Juice or apple juice?
OJ.
Chocolate Bar?
Mr. Big all the way!
When was the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Geezus...who knows
Ever order anything from an infomercial?
Nope, but my mom does all the time.
Sprite or 7-Up?
Sprite. Well, diet sprite.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school?
Yep: McDonalds, Select Roses (it was just their tshirt), ummm...i guess that's it.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Millionaire. Duh.
Believe in love at first sight?
Sorta.
Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Gina when she was in a coma.
What do you think about most?
Lately? Effing home improvement. And what I would do if i won the lottery. You know...the lottery that I never play.
Favorite form of travel?
Teleportation.
If you could have one magical power what would it be?
HA once again...teleportation...or...the ability to stop time.
SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:
Something purple within 5 feet of you:
A USB hub.
The sexiest item of clothing you own:
I've got strong collection of lingerie...that poor kraig never sees lol...
Is your hair long enough to chew on:
Yep. Mmm mmm. I like mine deep fried topped with salsa.
Least favorite color?
Green
Ever have Dippin' Dots?
Ugh no.
So...to take my mind off my pissed-off-ness...for your reading pleasure since this blog is all about ME mooo ha ha haaa...
Off-The-Wall Questions:
When was the last time you went to the bathroom outside?
the ONLY time was when i was like 5, and i'm never doing that again.
Family member you most resemble?
My niece. Well I guess she resembles me. My mom says that I look just like my dad's real mom.
Do you own your own Bible?
The only time I've ever TOUCHED a bible was when I was rummaging through a hotel drawer.
Do you wear deodorant?
Anti-antiperspirant actually. Dove.
Do you clean up nice?
Compared to how i look non-cleaned up...hell yeah.
When was the last time you tripped and fell?
OMG yesterday...and when I got up I smashed my head into the metal thingies that hold up my banister.
Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
Hotel in Santa Clara (bay area).
What are you listening to right now?
The sound of my computer humming away.
Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire?
Nope.
Ever run out of gas on the road?
Geezus who hasnt'?
What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn?
Rake leaves. 'Cause then you can jump in the pile when it's done.
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Ad-Aware update. And The Office (avi file) from Matt since my DVR didnt record it and I was freaking out.
Last time you swam in a pool?
Last summer in Arizona.
Have you ever been in a school play?
Ughghghgh yes.
Nursery school: we did this thing where we recited how we kept getting mittens for birthdays, xmas, whatever, and then the very last line was "AND THEY GAVE ME MITTENS AGAIN!" and we all showed our hands with mittens on them...
ANd then in grade 1 or 2 I played the drums for some other school play thingy.
How many kids do you want?
4. The four child plan. Clearly I'm starting too late, but that's the ideal.
Type of music you DISlike most?
Polka.
Are you registered to vote?
Nope. I'm canadian.
Do you have cable?
I have satellite.
Ever prank call anybody?
Ha ha used to all the time. Oh wait I prank called Kraig's friend Chris when he was on his radio show a few months ago.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Hmmm...let's assess:
Bungee jumping at least has an effing cord, BUT...people's necks get jacked up doing that.
THEN...i would say sky diving but I just saw a thing on Oprah about some chick who's parachute got tangled and her faced basically got mauled when she landed.
So...my vote: skydiving but where someone else is strapped with you.
Do you have a garden?
An itty bitty one that is half dying, half going wild.
What's your favorite comic strip?
Far side, FoxTrot, Dilbert, there was one that isn't made anymore about this animals in highschool, that was funny...and...of course...ALIEN LOVES PREDATOR
Bath or Shower?
Shower. The last time I took a full on bath was...a long time ago.
Best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
The Holiday
Best pizza topping?
hmmm...veggie with mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, green peppers...but sometimes a good four cheese works....any Mediterranean pizza with artichokes and sundried tomatoes...
Popcorn or Peanuts?
Popcorn
Orange Juice or apple juice?
OJ.
Chocolate Bar?
Mr. Big all the way!
When was the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Geezus...who knows
Ever order anything from an infomercial?
Nope, but my mom does all the time.
Sprite or 7-Up?
Sprite. Well, diet sprite.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school?
Yep: McDonalds, Select Roses (it was just their tshirt), ummm...i guess that's it.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Millionaire. Duh.
Believe in love at first sight?
Sorta.
Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Gina when she was in a coma.
What do you think about most?
Lately? Effing home improvement. And what I would do if i won the lottery. You know...the lottery that I never play.
Favorite form of travel?
Teleportation.
If you could have one magical power what would it be?
HA once again...teleportation...or...the ability to stop time.
SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:
Something purple within 5 feet of you:
A USB hub.
The sexiest item of clothing you own:
I've got strong collection of lingerie...that poor kraig never sees lol...
Is your hair long enough to chew on:
Yep. Mmm mmm. I like mine deep fried topped with salsa.
Least favorite color?
Green
Ever have Dippin' Dots?
Ugh no.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Letter to the editor...
Yes, Kraig helped with the fan but I did so much research online, I knew what needed to be yanked where and what numbers where needed...basically i was like "MOVE!" whenver he tried to help.
Wow, I'm impressed with your determination to fix the fan! So do you shut the door to the toilet/shower room every time you shower? Why don't you just leave the door open so it doesn't get so humid in there? That's the lazy man's way out of the situation,and what I'd do; I'm surprised you just don't do that.
Well I close the door 'cause it wakes Kraig up when I shower to go to work, but after I shower i keep the door open for a bit but then the entire bedroom gets all muggy and nasty (not so bad in summer when you can open windows, not so good in winter when it's freezing). If we showered with the door open all the time, the entire bedroom would be nasty.
Wow, I'm impressed with your determination to fix the fan! So do you shut the door to the toilet/shower room every time you shower? Why don't you just leave the door open so it doesn't get so humid in there? That's the lazy man's way out of the situation,and what I'd do; I'm surprised you just don't do that.
Well I close the door 'cause it wakes Kraig up when I shower to go to work, but after I shower i keep the door open for a bit but then the entire bedroom gets all muggy and nasty (not so bad in summer when you can open windows, not so good in winter when it's freezing). If we showered with the door open all the time, the entire bedroom would be nasty.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?
Seriously, home improvement blows.
To be precise: it blows goats.
When you buy a home that's not already in mint condition, you get all gung-ho on doing crazy home improvement stuff. Then, after a few months, your Care-Factor goes pretty much down to zero. What used to drive you NUTS now becomes "ehhh...well...so there's a big hole in the wall. I could fix it...or...not..."
Well we've had the house for 3 years now and I'm back on the home improvement bandwagon.
Goal for this month: paint the mutha effing upstairs bathrooms.
The cats' bathroom (i.e. the guest bathroom that really is for the cats and a spot for me to do my makeup before work) is this horrible nasty shade of blue. As in, children's crayon blue. Nasty nasty stuff. New color: a rose blush color.
As for the master bath, it's such a tiny area but it's adjacent to the Heather Blue in the bedroom, so I'm gonna stick with a creamy kinda color. (My inspiration: the bottle of Vanilla lotion from Bath and Body Works sitting on the bathroom counter)
ANYWAY, what's the point of this? The point is...now I remember why my Care-Factor went down to zero.
Yesterday I got fed up with the fan in the bathroom. And by "bathroom" I mean the closet-size room that holds the toilet and the tub. The fan barely does anything and I"m pretty sure we're 1 week away from having a crazy mold breakout as a result. The moisture level is crazy.
(On a different note, I bought This Stuff to combat the excessive moisture...that's a whole other blog for another time)
So I decided...time to be a man, grow some balls, and fix the fan.
First step: Look at fan.
Yep I looked at it. It said "Broan" on it.
Step 2: Go to Broan.com
Logged on. And this is where the problems start. Couldn't find anything that looked like the fan cover that i had.
Step 3: Remove grill cover
Ummm yeahhhhh this is disgustingly nasty. I had to balance on the toilet tank and the shower enclosure in order to remove the cover, and needless to say I got a nice sprinkling of dust and crazy micro-organisms all over me. Tasty.
Step 4: "I can give you more!" Okay that's New Kids on the Block...
Observe
Once I wiped off the thick layer of sludgy dust from the fan I was so delighted to find that all the text was covered in rust. But the motor had a number on it, so I wrote it down, put it all up and vowed to call Broan's customer service the next day.
Step 5: Call customer support and embarrass yourself
Broan's customer support chick was super nice. Sadly she had no idea what i was talking about.
Step 6: Repeat with extra fervor.
That's where tonight comes in.
This time it was time to get crazy.
Turned the power off, unplugged the motor, and attempted to take the plate out so I could inspect it. Riiiggghtt. Not only is the frickin' thing rusted, but it's pretty much fused into one big hunk of metal. And there's all this info on the metal plate that houses the motor....like instructions on how to REMOVE the aforementioned plate...but it's all covered in rust!
Anyway through my swearing and balancing act while holding a flashlight (since the power was off) I realized the motor was made by UPPCO inc...
So I went to UPPCO's website, scoped out the model number (to make sure it was a legit number since I could barely read anything), went back to the Broan website and did a general search on the UPPCO number, got some PDF document that showed all the OEM motors linked to...what exactly, i'm not sure.
This is what I figured out...
My UPPCO model says 99080245
Broan's website says "Replaced by 97012041 688G-J"
I figured out that 688G through 688J is a model type
And they have an upgrade kit (model 690) to "easily" replace the 688 stuff.
Simple, right?
Wrong.
The dimensions on the upgrade kit don't match the dimensions for mine.
SO...what's the moral of the story?
I'm going to go to Home Depot tomorrow, gonna buy BOTH upgrade kits, and pray that I have the strength to yank out the metal housing so I can fix this mutha effing fan once and for all.
Coming soon: Step 7 Take a super duper long hot shower and enjoy the new ventilation provided.
Ohhh, need more fun home improvement stuff? Wait until I talk about the joys of moisture-resistant primer and discussing paint samples with your husband that make him say "that's PINK! Why don't I just grow boobs while we're at it?!"....
To be precise: it blows goats.
When you buy a home that's not already in mint condition, you get all gung-ho on doing crazy home improvement stuff. Then, after a few months, your Care-Factor goes pretty much down to zero. What used to drive you NUTS now becomes "ehhh...well...so there's a big hole in the wall. I could fix it...or...not..."
Well we've had the house for 3 years now and I'm back on the home improvement bandwagon.
Goal for this month: paint the mutha effing upstairs bathrooms.
The cats' bathroom (i.e. the guest bathroom that really is for the cats and a spot for me to do my makeup before work) is this horrible nasty shade of blue. As in, children's crayon blue. Nasty nasty stuff. New color: a rose blush color.
As for the master bath, it's such a tiny area but it's adjacent to the Heather Blue in the bedroom, so I'm gonna stick with a creamy kinda color. (My inspiration: the bottle of Vanilla lotion from Bath and Body Works sitting on the bathroom counter)
ANYWAY, what's the point of this? The point is...now I remember why my Care-Factor went down to zero.
Yesterday I got fed up with the fan in the bathroom. And by "bathroom" I mean the closet-size room that holds the toilet and the tub. The fan barely does anything and I"m pretty sure we're 1 week away from having a crazy mold breakout as a result. The moisture level is crazy.
(On a different note, I bought This Stuff to combat the excessive moisture...that's a whole other blog for another time)
So I decided...time to be a man, grow some balls, and fix the fan.
First step: Look at fan.
Yep I looked at it. It said "Broan" on it.
Step 2: Go to Broan.com
Logged on. And this is where the problems start. Couldn't find anything that looked like the fan cover that i had.
Step 3: Remove grill cover
Ummm yeahhhhh this is disgustingly nasty. I had to balance on the toilet tank and the shower enclosure in order to remove the cover, and needless to say I got a nice sprinkling of dust and crazy micro-organisms all over me. Tasty.
Step 4: "I can give you more!" Okay that's New Kids on the Block...
Observe
Once I wiped off the thick layer of sludgy dust from the fan I was so delighted to find that all the text was covered in rust. But the motor had a number on it, so I wrote it down, put it all up and vowed to call Broan's customer service the next day.
Step 5: Call customer support and embarrass yourself
Broan's customer support chick was super nice. Sadly she had no idea what i was talking about.
Step 6: Repeat with extra fervor.
That's where tonight comes in.
This time it was time to get crazy.
Turned the power off, unplugged the motor, and attempted to take the plate out so I could inspect it. Riiiggghtt. Not only is the frickin' thing rusted, but it's pretty much fused into one big hunk of metal. And there's all this info on the metal plate that houses the motor....like instructions on how to REMOVE the aforementioned plate...but it's all covered in rust!
Anyway through my swearing and balancing act while holding a flashlight (since the power was off) I realized the motor was made by UPPCO inc...
So I went to UPPCO's website, scoped out the model number (to make sure it was a legit number since I could barely read anything), went back to the Broan website and did a general search on the UPPCO number, got some PDF document that showed all the OEM motors linked to...what exactly, i'm not sure.
This is what I figured out...
My UPPCO model says 99080245
Broan's website says "Replaced by 97012041 688G-J"
I figured out that 688G through 688J is a model type
And they have an upgrade kit (model 690) to "easily" replace the 688 stuff.
Simple, right?
Wrong.
The dimensions on the upgrade kit don't match the dimensions for mine.
SO...what's the moral of the story?
I'm going to go to Home Depot tomorrow, gonna buy BOTH upgrade kits, and pray that I have the strength to yank out the metal housing so I can fix this mutha effing fan once and for all.
Coming soon: Step 7 Take a super duper long hot shower and enjoy the new ventilation provided.
Ohhh, need more fun home improvement stuff? Wait until I talk about the joys of moisture-resistant primer and discussing paint samples with your husband that make him say "that's PINK! Why don't I just grow boobs while we're at it?!"....
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Absolutely brilliant...
This is an absolutely brilliant article:
Baby makes 3: How kids rattle friendships
Not that it's written well, but that it raises a HUGE point: when chicks get pregnant, they typically become part of this Mom Club and all the other women are not included.
“It's as if they became incapable of doing anything that didn't fit their ideal of what a mommy should be and do. It just became too much effort and I began to ask what am I getting from these friendships? What am I giving? Then I realized we just grew apart. So it was time to find new friends.”
As lives evolve, so do priorities. Some childless women complain their friends with children turn into mommy machines — always wanting to talk about their babies and resembling very little of their former fun selves.
I know we all say that we'll never be like that, but I wonder...why do most women get like that?! I have to give mad props to my friend Christine in Ottawa and my coworker Kelly...they've both managed to not be typical moms...don't get me wrong, I hear the baby stuff but they never go into excessive detail and they still are big on maintaining their individual identities. My other friend Betsy constantly reminds me of how wonderful NOT having a baby is...which I owe big time, because other moms make you feel like your life is meaningless without a child.
The last time I visit home, Christine said something amazing (when I was shocked that she wanted to go to a bar with me): "Kids aren't your life...they ENHANCE your life"...and even better, when her husband said "are you driving?" I thought he was going to ask me to come home early because of the twins...instead he said "make sure she gets sh*tfaced drunk"...fabulous!
It's not that i have any problems hearing about baby stuff. It's that there's a select few things that I want to hear about. I love that I can bug Kelly about all the bizarre changes that happens to a chick's body. Or that Christine showed me how crazy powerful the breast pump was and let me stick that thing to my stomach to fool around with it. THAT stuff is funny, entertaining, and childless people don't mind hearing it.
What i DO hate hearing, and please shoot me if I get like this:
a) how Baby did something crazy basic. I get it. Y our baby climbed up stairs. Since I've been doing that for a looong time now, i have no thrill in it. I don't even care when they say their first words. You knew it was gonna happen eventually. In fact, tell me when they CAN'T talk...'cause then there's problems.
b) Don't tell me about how Baby had a cold, had a fever, had whatever. My cat's got a runny eye right now and needs eyedrops, i'm not boring you with those details.
c) PLEASE dont' tell me how the doctor or daycare teacher said your kid is overly bright for their age, how your kid is more advanced than others at reading or whatever...because EVERYONE says that. Your kid is average. And just 'cause your kid can read the Wall Street Journal at 5 doesn't mean he's gonna be a doctor (it's not like your kid is fully UNDERSTANDING the wall street journal). When he becomes a doctor, THEN we'll talk.
d) Please spare me the pregnancy details of how much something is dialated. I'll be honest with you: I have no idea what that means. One day, hopefully, I will. But when I do, i'm not going to tell people what I was 'cause i know guys have no idea what being dialated means, and a good chunk of chicks don't either. Nor do they care.
e) Please don't tell me your kid's age in exact months when they're past 6 months. 4 months, yes. 16 months, no. WTF is that? Just say 2. Or one and a half. Whatever. I'm not doing math, i'm just trying to be polite by asking, I don't want to know the exact frickin' details.
f) Please spare me the endless emails with a trillion photos. I like getting them, and I love keeping up to date, but I don't need 20 jpegs showing yer baby with her new shoes. One or two is sufficient. I like your baby, so please don't make me get annoyed with the excessive talk.
g) Please don't give me emails/phone calls saying "And then daddy took Baby to the park"..."daddy" has a frickin' name. He's not MY daddy, so calling him Mike or John i fine, I know he's the father of your child.
Okay that's my ranting. I'll give everyone a bit of leeway, but seriously after awhile...the mom's club thing gets old. If your day was spent with teh baby, i'll TOTALLY be there to listen to the griping and all that (complaining I can handle if it's truly a nightmare), but I don't want to spend all day yakking about how cute your baby's bow is. Let's pretend you have some resemblance of a personality that shows you still like tv, movies, clothes, makeup (even if you never get to wear it), politics, ANYTHING....
And...this also means that people can call me on this crap if I get like this down the road. A single punch in the face will be sufficient.
Baby makes 3: How kids rattle friendships
Not that it's written well, but that it raises a HUGE point: when chicks get pregnant, they typically become part of this Mom Club and all the other women are not included.
“It's as if they became incapable of doing anything that didn't fit their ideal of what a mommy should be and do. It just became too much effort and I began to ask what am I getting from these friendships? What am I giving? Then I realized we just grew apart. So it was time to find new friends.”
As lives evolve, so do priorities. Some childless women complain their friends with children turn into mommy machines — always wanting to talk about their babies and resembling very little of their former fun selves.
I know we all say that we'll never be like that, but I wonder...why do most women get like that?! I have to give mad props to my friend Christine in Ottawa and my coworker Kelly...they've both managed to not be typical moms...don't get me wrong, I hear the baby stuff but they never go into excessive detail and they still are big on maintaining their individual identities. My other friend Betsy constantly reminds me of how wonderful NOT having a baby is...which I owe big time, because other moms make you feel like your life is meaningless without a child.
The last time I visit home, Christine said something amazing (when I was shocked that she wanted to go to a bar with me): "Kids aren't your life...they ENHANCE your life"...and even better, when her husband said "are you driving?" I thought he was going to ask me to come home early because of the twins...instead he said "make sure she gets sh*tfaced drunk"...fabulous!
It's not that i have any problems hearing about baby stuff. It's that there's a select few things that I want to hear about. I love that I can bug Kelly about all the bizarre changes that happens to a chick's body. Or that Christine showed me how crazy powerful the breast pump was and let me stick that thing to my stomach to fool around with it. THAT stuff is funny, entertaining, and childless people don't mind hearing it.
What i DO hate hearing, and please shoot me if I get like this:
a) how Baby did something crazy basic. I get it. Y our baby climbed up stairs. Since I've been doing that for a looong time now, i have no thrill in it. I don't even care when they say their first words. You knew it was gonna happen eventually. In fact, tell me when they CAN'T talk...'cause then there's problems.
b) Don't tell me about how Baby had a cold, had a fever, had whatever. My cat's got a runny eye right now and needs eyedrops, i'm not boring you with those details.
c) PLEASE dont' tell me how the doctor or daycare teacher said your kid is overly bright for their age, how your kid is more advanced than others at reading or whatever...because EVERYONE says that. Your kid is average. And just 'cause your kid can read the Wall Street Journal at 5 doesn't mean he's gonna be a doctor (it's not like your kid is fully UNDERSTANDING the wall street journal). When he becomes a doctor, THEN we'll talk.
d) Please spare me the pregnancy details of how much something is dialated. I'll be honest with you: I have no idea what that means. One day, hopefully, I will. But when I do, i'm not going to tell people what I was 'cause i know guys have no idea what being dialated means, and a good chunk of chicks don't either. Nor do they care.
e) Please don't tell me your kid's age in exact months when they're past 6 months. 4 months, yes. 16 months, no. WTF is that? Just say 2. Or one and a half. Whatever. I'm not doing math, i'm just trying to be polite by asking, I don't want to know the exact frickin' details.
f) Please spare me the endless emails with a trillion photos. I like getting them, and I love keeping up to date, but I don't need 20 jpegs showing yer baby with her new shoes. One or two is sufficient. I like your baby, so please don't make me get annoyed with the excessive talk.
g) Please don't give me emails/phone calls saying "And then daddy took Baby to the park"..."daddy" has a frickin' name. He's not MY daddy, so calling him Mike or John i fine, I know he's the father of your child.
Okay that's my ranting. I'll give everyone a bit of leeway, but seriously after awhile...the mom's club thing gets old. If your day was spent with teh baby, i'll TOTALLY be there to listen to the griping and all that (complaining I can handle if it's truly a nightmare), but I don't want to spend all day yakking about how cute your baby's bow is. Let's pretend you have some resemblance of a personality that shows you still like tv, movies, clothes, makeup (even if you never get to wear it), politics, ANYTHING....
And...this also means that people can call me on this crap if I get like this down the road. A single punch in the face will be sufficient.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Quickie Time Killer Survey Crap
Feel free to answer in the Comments section...or not...suck it. From Marlene.
1. Can you cook?
I'm a better baker, and I prefer to cook vegetarian meals...when I cook meat I tend to get a bit digusted trying to consume the food that i saw in raw format. As far as I'm concerned, my chicken comes from a tree.
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Get on my cell and call for help.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
Sigh. So many.
- is grace a talent?
- figure skating
- piano
- singing
- is invisibility a talent?
4. Favorite place?
My bed. With the blankets on. And my cats.
5. Favorite vegetable?
Hmmm. I dig butternut squash. And broccoli. Do mushrooms count as a vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
Emotional Intelligence. Okay well i didn't finish reading it, i got through the first chapter about the brain and got super bored.
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
Pretty clean, but my husband keeps me dirty. Take as you will. People who know me well enough know EXACTLY what i mean.
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
No and yes.
9. Worst Habit?
According to my friends, it's my diet pepsi addiction. Otherwise...grabbing at my skin (drives Kraig nuts)...interrupting...talking loudly....napping (which i make no apologies for)...excessive tv watching.
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of myspace?
Of course we do Marlene!
2. What's your philosophy on life?
I dunno....expect the worst and the worst won't happen; if it does, at least you'll be prepared.
3. Negative or Optimistic?
GEE see #2 to figure that out.
4. What was your dream growing up?
To be an artist.
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Hmmm, well happen "to" me would imply that I didn't bring it upon myself (I've had alot of crappy things happen but they were my fault)...so something that I didn't bring upon myself: hmmm...going through 1 year of hell with my diabetic/sick cat...6 months of a psycho bad ear infection...hmmm I guess that's it. Everything else was my own doing!
6. Would you give me money or a slap in the face?
Oh Marlene...I'd give you money so i COULD slap you in the face :P
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
I can flip my eyelids inside out and keep them that way....
8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down?
I got yo back woman! Hos before Bros!
9. Do you Trust me?
Absolutely.
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
Geezus that's retarded, the only one who knows 100% everything is Marmalade.
11. What do you think of me as a Person?
Marlene, you rock.
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
LOL sane except when it comes to cheese.
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
Of course.
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Crime partner.
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
I'd change your zip code to mine :)
16. How do you fall asleep?
With my eyes closed.
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call?
I'd text.
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
Sure. Just don't tell my husband :P
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie?
I'd fudge the truth.
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it?
Okay I loooove these questions...
$100,000,000 broken down to:
$500,000 put aside for taxes
$495,000 to pay off my home loan
$5000 divided up between friends and a new pair of boots
And then from there, all my income coming in would go towards paying off the cars and credit card bills and THEN all income after that (should take half a year if not less) it would be PARTAYYYYYYY TIME.....
Sadly, a million bucks basically doesn't do JACK when you live in California.
21. What is your worst fear?
To be paralyzed or severly maimed or horribly disfigured in some way....
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
sleep or watch tv. If i could do both, i'd be in heaven.
23. How many times did you curse at me while filling out this thing?
Once. Just now. Since you reminded me.
24. Can you sing or dance?
Define "sing". If you mean make high pitched noises that have a hint of melody, then yes.
Define "dance". If you mean gyrate in such a way that one might take it for an epileptic seizure, then yes.
25. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest....
ENERGETIC
26. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?
Sure. Why not.
If you've read this far...you are very very bored.
1. Can you cook?
I'm a better baker, and I prefer to cook vegetarian meals...when I cook meat I tend to get a bit digusted trying to consume the food that i saw in raw format. As far as I'm concerned, my chicken comes from a tree.
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Get on my cell and call for help.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
Sigh. So many.
- is grace a talent?
- figure skating
- piano
- singing
- is invisibility a talent?
4. Favorite place?
My bed. With the blankets on. And my cats.
5. Favorite vegetable?
Hmmm. I dig butternut squash. And broccoli. Do mushrooms count as a vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
Emotional Intelligence. Okay well i didn't finish reading it, i got through the first chapter about the brain and got super bored.
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
Pretty clean, but my husband keeps me dirty. Take as you will. People who know me well enough know EXACTLY what i mean.
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
No and yes.
9. Worst Habit?
According to my friends, it's my diet pepsi addiction. Otherwise...grabbing at my skin (drives Kraig nuts)...interrupting...talking loudly....napping (which i make no apologies for)...excessive tv watching.
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of myspace?
Of course we do Marlene!
2. What's your philosophy on life?
I dunno....expect the worst and the worst won't happen; if it does, at least you'll be prepared.
3. Negative or Optimistic?
GEE see #2 to figure that out.
4. What was your dream growing up?
To be an artist.
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Hmmm, well happen "to" me would imply that I didn't bring it upon myself (I've had alot of crappy things happen but they were my fault)...so something that I didn't bring upon myself: hmmm...going through 1 year of hell with my diabetic/sick cat...6 months of a psycho bad ear infection...hmmm I guess that's it. Everything else was my own doing!
6. Would you give me money or a slap in the face?
Oh Marlene...I'd give you money so i COULD slap you in the face :P
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
I can flip my eyelids inside out and keep them that way....
8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down?
I got yo back woman! Hos before Bros!
9. Do you Trust me?
Absolutely.
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
Geezus that's retarded, the only one who knows 100% everything is Marmalade.
11. What do you think of me as a Person?
Marlene, you rock.
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
LOL sane except when it comes to cheese.
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
Of course.
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Crime partner.
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
I'd change your zip code to mine :)
16. How do you fall asleep?
With my eyes closed.
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call?
I'd text.
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
Sure. Just don't tell my husband :P
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie?
I'd fudge the truth.
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it?
Okay I loooove these questions...
$100,000,000 broken down to:
$500,000 put aside for taxes
$495,000 to pay off my home loan
$5000 divided up between friends and a new pair of boots
And then from there, all my income coming in would go towards paying off the cars and credit card bills and THEN all income after that (should take half a year if not less) it would be PARTAYYYYYYY TIME.....
Sadly, a million bucks basically doesn't do JACK when you live in California.
21. What is your worst fear?
To be paralyzed or severly maimed or horribly disfigured in some way....
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
sleep or watch tv. If i could do both, i'd be in heaven.
23. How many times did you curse at me while filling out this thing?
Once. Just now. Since you reminded me.
24. Can you sing or dance?
Define "sing". If you mean make high pitched noises that have a hint of melody, then yes.
Define "dance". If you mean gyrate in such a way that one might take it for an epileptic seizure, then yes.
25. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest....
ENERGETIC
26. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?
Sure. Why not.
If you've read this far...you are very very bored.
When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.
Wow, I suck lately at updating this blog...
Quickie Movie Review: The Holiday
LOVED it. Total predictable chick flick but still somewhat intelligent, well-written, and all-around a feelgood time. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Fine holiday faire.
On New Year's the subject of Lady In The Water came up and as per the previous post, that movie effing BLOWS...one dude at the party said "So you like Dirty Dancing. Because anyone who doesn't like Lady In The Water must then love Dirty Dancing".
Ummm, no. I actually dislike Dirty Dancing because I think "Baby" was ugly and Patrick Swayze's character was nasty and a pedophile. Nothing more unattractive than a dude who wears black dance dress pants. Well...i guess a dude who dresses like a chick is probably more unattractive.
I'm simply saying...I stand by my movie review, it was basically a movie that for the simpletons got your blood pumping but for anyone who can see through the cheeziness and predictability of it, you'll be disgusted by the whole thing. And the excessive whispering and pointless stuttering will drive you insane.
Okay, nuff of that.
Now that it's a new year I find myself pretty overwhelmed with the list of things that I've set out to accomplish this year. It's looking grim to say the least. BUT...tomorrow morning I've got a dude coming by to give a quote on hardwood flooring installation...baby steps...
It absolutely kills me that I've reached that age where I can discuss the merits of different home improvement projects for lengthy periods of time. As well as the weather. Fortunately I'm interested very little in political topics (except immigration for obvious reasons...as well as health care and abortions...i'm a messed up person...i'm willing to pay a ton of taxes if it means i get stuff and my neighbors are taken care of, but I don't give a crap about people who sneak in and break the law OR if 14 year old whores want to vacuum their fetus out...yay pro choice) AND I'm still the oldest person who watches Real World so thankfully I've got some things to cling on to that resemble youth.
Yesterday I was scoping out Consumer Reports (best effing publication ever! Get an online subscription, it's only $4.95/month...get it for a month, then save EVERYTHING and cancel the subscription for awhile) and they tested wrinkle lotions/serums/creams...Olay Regenerist was #1 on their list, followed by some $100+ cream (and no, not La Mer...in fact, I dont' remember if La Mer made the list even)...so once i'm done with my Marcelle and RoC serums (i'm all about the French!), bring on the Regenerist...although I usually shun away from companies that test on animals (if i'm aware of it).
TV Show Review: http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/starveillance
Through a fluke I decided to watch the new E! show Starveillance...it was actually pretty good. Basically they create mock "hidden camera" moments with celebrities with claymation...claymation irritates the crap outof me after awhile but the way they poke fun at celebrities is pretty awesome, especially the premiere episode's skit with Tom Cruise.
Final verdict: watch it if you're home bored and channel surfing, but don't go out of your way to watch it. It'll be re-ran a billion times anyway.
TV Show Review: The Office
Okay okay no need for a formal review, I just want to say how KICKASS this how is...and how 1 week without it was like a week of torture. Poor Pam finally crumbles from the pain of dealing with Jim and Karen. Dwight shows a humanitarian but still creepy side. Jan gives into her lack of good judgement. The employee who whipped out her boob and breast-fed at the office quit. Good times at Dunder-Mifflin.
Time to go change into my pajamas and get some sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Quickie Movie Review: The Holiday
LOVED it. Total predictable chick flick but still somewhat intelligent, well-written, and all-around a feelgood time. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Fine holiday faire.
On New Year's the subject of Lady In The Water came up and as per the previous post, that movie effing BLOWS...one dude at the party said "So you like Dirty Dancing. Because anyone who doesn't like Lady In The Water must then love Dirty Dancing".
Ummm, no. I actually dislike Dirty Dancing because I think "Baby" was ugly and Patrick Swayze's character was nasty and a pedophile. Nothing more unattractive than a dude who wears black dance dress pants. Well...i guess a dude who dresses like a chick is probably more unattractive.
I'm simply saying...I stand by my movie review, it was basically a movie that for the simpletons got your blood pumping but for anyone who can see through the cheeziness and predictability of it, you'll be disgusted by the whole thing. And the excessive whispering and pointless stuttering will drive you insane.
Okay, nuff of that.
Now that it's a new year I find myself pretty overwhelmed with the list of things that I've set out to accomplish this year. It's looking grim to say the least. BUT...tomorrow morning I've got a dude coming by to give a quote on hardwood flooring installation...baby steps...
It absolutely kills me that I've reached that age where I can discuss the merits of different home improvement projects for lengthy periods of time. As well as the weather. Fortunately I'm interested very little in political topics (except immigration for obvious reasons...as well as health care and abortions...i'm a messed up person...i'm willing to pay a ton of taxes if it means i get stuff and my neighbors are taken care of, but I don't give a crap about people who sneak in and break the law OR if 14 year old whores want to vacuum their fetus out...yay pro choice) AND I'm still the oldest person who watches Real World so thankfully I've got some things to cling on to that resemble youth.
Yesterday I was scoping out Consumer Reports (best effing publication ever! Get an online subscription, it's only $4.95/month...get it for a month, then save EVERYTHING and cancel the subscription for awhile) and they tested wrinkle lotions/serums/creams...Olay Regenerist was #1 on their list, followed by some $100+ cream (and no, not La Mer...in fact, I dont' remember if La Mer made the list even)...so once i'm done with my Marcelle and RoC serums (i'm all about the French!), bring on the Regenerist...although I usually shun away from companies that test on animals (if i'm aware of it).
TV Show Review: http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/starveillance
Through a fluke I decided to watch the new E! show Starveillance...it was actually pretty good. Basically they create mock "hidden camera" moments with celebrities with claymation...claymation irritates the crap outof me after awhile but the way they poke fun at celebrities is pretty awesome, especially the premiere episode's skit with Tom Cruise.
Final verdict: watch it if you're home bored and channel surfing, but don't go out of your way to watch it. It'll be re-ran a billion times anyway.
TV Show Review: The Office
Okay okay no need for a formal review, I just want to say how KICKASS this how is...and how 1 week without it was like a week of torture. Poor Pam finally crumbles from the pain of dealing with Jim and Karen. Dwight shows a humanitarian but still creepy side. Jan gives into her lack of good judgement. The employee who whipped out her boob and breast-fed at the office quit. Good times at Dunder-Mifflin.
Time to go change into my pajamas and get some sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies...
Here it is folks... the last day in 2006. I'm gonna be honest witcha. This is pretty anti-climatic. So I've made a new vow: this is my last year being out and about for New Year's. As in...wherever I'm sleeping is where I plan on being when the clock strikes midnight. So whether it's a hotel, my house, someone else's house, whatever...by midnight, after this year, I plan on being in my jammies and ready for bed.
I know that makes me sound ridiculously boring but geezus, why bother counting down to January 1st anymore...it's not like we make a big deal when August 1st or April 1st arrives...I'm so over the hoopla of being able to throw out a calendar and making the mistake for a few weeks of writing the previous year out of force of habit.
Movie Review: Lady In The Water
Uh it wasn't my choice to have this in the netflix queue. I knew it would suck. And it did. That's 2 hours of my life I can't get back.
The gist of the movie is that there's water chick who needs to get to some far away land with the help of these people in an apartment complex, and there's this beast that's chasing her. The lady in the water is played by Ron Howard's daughter, who was in The Village (as the blind chick). So the whole movie everyone wants to help this poor girl/spirit-thing 'cause she's slowly dying and the entire time i was like "who gives a crap?! She's annoying. Let her die". She kept WHISPERING...if I had paid money for a theater ticket I would have been peeved 'cause you can't hear half the allegedly inspirational crap she says.
In Eleanor News....
So I finally washed Eleanor (my Rav4) for the first time since buying it. HOLY CRAP. There's a significant difference between washing an SUV and washing a compact car. It took me frickin' forever. Granted I was being wayyy more meticulous and I had to scrub like mad to get the stupid berry stains that get on my car because the morons at the Irvine Company planted berry trees at work. And then I waxed my car. BY HAND.
The only thing I have to do is vacuum the inside and hose off the rubber floor mats.
I am one dedicated mofo. I used all Maguiar's products thanks to Ryan and Nicole...I gotta admit, that stuff is kickass in comparison to the cheapie stuff I used to use.
Anyway I'm gonna go take a nap...gotta rest up for my last new year's of partying (and by partying i mean...not being at home with my cats).
I know that makes me sound ridiculously boring but geezus, why bother counting down to January 1st anymore...it's not like we make a big deal when August 1st or April 1st arrives...I'm so over the hoopla of being able to throw out a calendar and making the mistake for a few weeks of writing the previous year out of force of habit.
Movie Review: Lady In The Water
Uh it wasn't my choice to have this in the netflix queue. I knew it would suck. And it did. That's 2 hours of my life I can't get back.
The gist of the movie is that there's water chick who needs to get to some far away land with the help of these people in an apartment complex, and there's this beast that's chasing her. The lady in the water is played by Ron Howard's daughter, who was in The Village (as the blind chick). So the whole movie everyone wants to help this poor girl/spirit-thing 'cause she's slowly dying and the entire time i was like "who gives a crap?! She's annoying. Let her die". She kept WHISPERING...if I had paid money for a theater ticket I would have been peeved 'cause you can't hear half the allegedly inspirational crap she says.
In Eleanor News....
So I finally washed Eleanor (my Rav4) for the first time since buying it. HOLY CRAP. There's a significant difference between washing an SUV and washing a compact car. It took me frickin' forever. Granted I was being wayyy more meticulous and I had to scrub like mad to get the stupid berry stains that get on my car because the morons at the Irvine Company planted berry trees at work. And then I waxed my car. BY HAND.
The only thing I have to do is vacuum the inside and hose off the rubber floor mats.
I am one dedicated mofo. I used all Maguiar's products thanks to Ryan and Nicole...I gotta admit, that stuff is kickass in comparison to the cheapie stuff I used to use.
Anyway I'm gonna go take a nap...gotta rest up for my last new year's of partying (and by partying i mean...not being at home with my cats).
Friday, December 29, 2006
Let there be light
Yayyyy finally got Kraig's old (but newer) computer hooked up, gasp and here I thought our internet connection was slow...turns out, that other computer is just unacceptably old. That being said, Kraig bought this one under the guise of microsoft "works" so it doesn't have half the stuff that a normal computer should have, but that's the least of the problems if i get off my ass and just install stuff.
Xmas: it came. It saw. It left.
On the phone with my mom right now. How do people have interesting conversations with their moms? I have to limit what i say regarding opinions because then she flips out...right now she's asking me if people freak out when they see the jewelry they got me because it's so "different", and i had to point out that I work with a ton of different cultures, including Indian, so it's not a big deal...and now she's telling me how to make my grandmother's meatballs and whether i still have my weird neighbor...
Yeah, i'll write more of a year's wrap up when I actually get my brain out of my ass and think of something witty to say....
Xmas: it came. It saw. It left.
On the phone with my mom right now. How do people have interesting conversations with their moms? I have to limit what i say regarding opinions because then she flips out...right now she's asking me if people freak out when they see the jewelry they got me because it's so "different", and i had to point out that I work with a ton of different cultures, including Indian, so it's not a big deal...and now she's telling me how to make my grandmother's meatballs and whether i still have my weird neighbor...
Yeah, i'll write more of a year's wrap up when I actually get my brain out of my ass and think of something witty to say....
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Movie Reviews
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I wasn't really in the mood to see this because I've been super disappointed with movies where Will Ferrell is the star. He should just go back to SNL (MORE COWBEL!!).
ANyway, I was pleasantly surprised. Basically the gist of the story is this kid Ricky Bobby who's dad is never around because he's a race car driver, so Ricky Bobby aspires to be the same, makes it to the top, then has an "accident", flops to the bottom, and has to make it to the big leagues again using his own inner strength.
There's a ton of celebrity cameos in this movie, probably the best one where Ricky Bobby and the french guy walk along the french guy's property and Ricky Bobby says : "Was that Mos Def and Elvis Costello?"
Girard "No"
(insert confused look on Ricky BObby's face)....ahhh you'd have to see it to get it.
Anyway, I would have been peeved if I paid $11 to see it in the theater but as a Netflix rental, it was great.
Thank You For Smoking
Now my standards were VERY high for this movie. So...all I can say is...they met my standards. THey didn't exceed them, didn't go below them...they were just right.
The movie is about a dude who's a lobbyist for the cigarette companies, how he's hated, but still provides some very valid points in favor of the cigarette companies.
The opening scene shows the dude on a tv show with anti-cigarette agency people, and the Lobbyist Guy (forgot his name) says that cigarette companies don't WANT their customers to die of cancer because then they're losing customers and money...it's the anti-smoking groups that want Cancer Boy to die so they have another statistic to help their cause. Brilliant.
It's extremely dark, and you'll be forced to see Katie Holmes play a sexy reporter (I'm sorry, but she still looks like a 15 year old kid from Dawson's Creek to me), but overall HIGHLY recommended.
I wasn't really in the mood to see this because I've been super disappointed with movies where Will Ferrell is the star. He should just go back to SNL (MORE COWBEL!!).
ANyway, I was pleasantly surprised. Basically the gist of the story is this kid Ricky Bobby who's dad is never around because he's a race car driver, so Ricky Bobby aspires to be the same, makes it to the top, then has an "accident", flops to the bottom, and has to make it to the big leagues again using his own inner strength.
There's a ton of celebrity cameos in this movie, probably the best one where Ricky Bobby and the french guy walk along the french guy's property and Ricky Bobby says : "Was that Mos Def and Elvis Costello?"
Girard "No"
(insert confused look on Ricky BObby's face)....ahhh you'd have to see it to get it.
Anyway, I would have been peeved if I paid $11 to see it in the theater but as a Netflix rental, it was great.
Thank You For Smoking
Now my standards were VERY high for this movie. So...all I can say is...they met my standards. THey didn't exceed them, didn't go below them...they were just right.
The movie is about a dude who's a lobbyist for the cigarette companies, how he's hated, but still provides some very valid points in favor of the cigarette companies.
The opening scene shows the dude on a tv show with anti-cigarette agency people, and the Lobbyist Guy (forgot his name) says that cigarette companies don't WANT their customers to die of cancer because then they're losing customers and money...it's the anti-smoking groups that want Cancer Boy to die so they have another statistic to help their cause. Brilliant.
It's extremely dark, and you'll be forced to see Katie Holmes play a sexy reporter (I'm sorry, but she still looks like a 15 year old kid from Dawson's Creek to me), but overall HIGHLY recommended.
Letter to the Editor
BTW, Sabina I am blaming you for hooking me on The OC. :P
Oh and unless some wierd storm front blows in within the next 72 hours Ottawa will be having it's first brown Christmas. No snow at all, zero, zilch... It's almost too warm to wear a winter coat. :)
Hey, it's the last season for the OC so you shouldn't complain :P And Taylor is wayyyyy more entertaining than effing Marissa.
There was one time when we were super young that we didn't have a white Xmas...at least, from my memories....Kind of crazy though to imagine Ottawa without snow this time of year, usually you have to wear a winter coat on Hallowe'en because it would snow at the end of October...
Oh and unless some wierd storm front blows in within the next 72 hours Ottawa will be having it's first brown Christmas. No snow at all, zero, zilch... It's almost too warm to wear a winter coat. :)
Hey, it's the last season for the OC so you shouldn't complain :P And Taylor is wayyyyy more entertaining than effing Marissa.
There was one time when we were super young that we didn't have a white Xmas...at least, from my memories....Kind of crazy though to imagine Ottawa without snow this time of year, usually you have to wear a winter coat on Hallowe'en because it would snow at the end of October...
Holiday Randomness
Arrraghghgh...
Last minute gift wrapping...blah. I swear I hate Xmas so effing bad.
The latest on the MOrris situation: nothing in the traps, Kraig insists that he licked a bit of the poison and that he's dead in the garage. Personally, I can't smell anything (I mean, it's a GARAGE...it's not going to smell like a frickin' spa) but he's positive there's something there.
so he saw a fly in the garage and now thinks that the fly is going to find Morris' body, lay eggs, then we'll get maggots. My mentality is that if that IS true, at least we'll eventually find the corpse.
Side note: I really don't think he's in the garage anymore. And i'm more freaked out by black widow spiders like Ursula in my garage at this point.
So i told him that when we get back from visiting the in-laws, we'll clear out the garage and search for Morris.
Crap, I think the pumpkin bread in the oven is burning.
Last minute gift wrapping...blah. I swear I hate Xmas so effing bad.
The latest on the MOrris situation: nothing in the traps, Kraig insists that he licked a bit of the poison and that he's dead in the garage. Personally, I can't smell anything (I mean, it's a GARAGE...it's not going to smell like a frickin' spa) but he's positive there's something there.
so he saw a fly in the garage and now thinks that the fly is going to find Morris' body, lay eggs, then we'll get maggots. My mentality is that if that IS true, at least we'll eventually find the corpse.
Side note: I really don't think he's in the garage anymore. And i'm more freaked out by black widow spiders like Ursula in my garage at this point.
So i told him that when we get back from visiting the in-laws, we'll clear out the garage and search for Morris.
Crap, I think the pumpkin bread in the oven is burning.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Best Movie of 2007
They shouldn't even bother releasing any other movie in 2007. This is gonna be the best...just make the entire academy awards in 2008 devoted to this film.
I love that the little girl at the end has a My Little Pony plush....
Yeah, I'm really slack on writing these days. The holidays will be better. If anyone cares. Or maybe not, since you guys are all smarter for NOT having had anything to read on this blog lately...
Also, I really think it should be C*ck in a Box...not D*ck in a Box (for anyone who saw SNL this past weekend...effing hilarious):
A'ight, that's it for now...
I love that the little girl at the end has a My Little Pony plush....
Yeah, I'm really slack on writing these days. The holidays will be better. If anyone cares. Or maybe not, since you guys are all smarter for NOT having had anything to read on this blog lately...
Also, I really think it should be C*ck in a Box...not D*ck in a Box (for anyone who saw SNL this past weekend...effing hilarious):
A'ight, that's it for now...
Friday, December 15, 2006
A Benihanas Christmas
The Morris situation: grim.
The old-skool traps didn't work, and now the PB on them has gotten all hard, so i don't know if it's still delectable. I'm tired of not parking in the garage! So last night I told Kraig to just put a plate of PB in the garage and see if he eats any of it so we know he's still alive.
This morning, the PB was untouched...so my guess is that he's left Team H's domain.
the killer part is every day when I get home, I park outside the garage and scope out the trap situation...but they're along the wall tucked away so i have to get REALLY close (and for one f them, i have to get on the ground because Kraig's mustang is blocking my path)...and every single time I get freaked out at the one by the trash because ther'es twigs there and they look like tails and then i think i'm seeing Morris and I pretty much start yelling and shrieking without actually SEEING anything.
In other news, The Office was so mind boggingly fantastic, I don't know where to begin. I swear, I really feel like I work there. I wish I did, kinda.
Maybe last night rocked so much because RIcky Gervais (from teh british Office) helped write the episode.
A few bright moments, in no particular order:
1. "Benihanas is the asian Hooters"
2. When Michael marked the arm of the Benihanas chick because he couldn't tell the two asian girls apart.
3. Every time Jim saw Karen and Pam in cahoots with each other...his face was of pure panic.
4. When Jim discussed rebound relationships with Michael...knowing all along he was talking about Karen.
5. The explanation of the two different holiday party signs.
6.Angela: "Why did you take that?"
Benihanas chick: "oh I thought we could take them"
Angela: "I don't go into your house and take your hello kitty backpack!"...oh snap!
7. Michael photoshopping his face onto Carol's ex-husband's face for his holiday card.
8. Jim telling Dwight the waitress caught a goose and doesn't know how to properly kill it, so Dwight explains to the confused waitress how to slit the throat....
9. Tobey's infatuation with the bathrobes sent from corporate.
10. The ultimate moment: when Dwight is on the rooftop waiting for teh CIA helicopter, only to be texted that he has been compromised and must destroy the phone.
The old-skool traps didn't work, and now the PB on them has gotten all hard, so i don't know if it's still delectable. I'm tired of not parking in the garage! So last night I told Kraig to just put a plate of PB in the garage and see if he eats any of it so we know he's still alive.
This morning, the PB was untouched...so my guess is that he's left Team H's domain.
the killer part is every day when I get home, I park outside the garage and scope out the trap situation...but they're along the wall tucked away so i have to get REALLY close (and for one f them, i have to get on the ground because Kraig's mustang is blocking my path)...and every single time I get freaked out at the one by the trash because ther'es twigs there and they look like tails and then i think i'm seeing Morris and I pretty much start yelling and shrieking without actually SEEING anything.
In other news, The Office was so mind boggingly fantastic, I don't know where to begin. I swear, I really feel like I work there. I wish I did, kinda.
Maybe last night rocked so much because RIcky Gervais (from teh british Office) helped write the episode.
A few bright moments, in no particular order:
1. "Benihanas is the asian Hooters"
2. When Michael marked the arm of the Benihanas chick because he couldn't tell the two asian girls apart.
3. Every time Jim saw Karen and Pam in cahoots with each other...his face was of pure panic.
4. When Jim discussed rebound relationships with Michael...knowing all along he was talking about Karen.
5. The explanation of the two different holiday party signs.
6.Angela: "Why did you take that?"
Benihanas chick: "oh I thought we could take them"
Angela: "I don't go into your house and take your hello kitty backpack!"...oh snap!
7. Michael photoshopping his face onto Carol's ex-husband's face for his holiday card.
8. Jim telling Dwight the waitress caught a goose and doesn't know how to properly kill it, so Dwight explains to the confused waitress how to slit the throat....
9. Tobey's infatuation with the bathrobes sent from corporate.
10. The ultimate moment: when Dwight is on the rooftop waiting for teh CIA helicopter, only to be texted that he has been compromised and must destroy the phone.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Of Mice and Men
This is the tale...of US vs. MORRIS.
Sunday, December 10th
So I'm ready to get a bunch of stuff accomplished...I wanted to clean my car (thanks to our advertisers, Maguiars) and then haul ass on something for work. I gave Kraig the project of installing the free keypad garage door opener I scored off Freecycle.
Kraig hollers at me that he wants me to write down the code from the garage door opener while he reads it out (it's written on the mechanism, which is on the ceiling)...so we're standing outside, and as Kraig goes to walk to the back of the garage I see this HUGE thing scurry from the top of the doorframe (the door that leads into the house) along the wall.
I start screaming that it's a rat, and really...if you recall the Bruno incident...I do NOT do well with creepy crawly things. Rats included. So i'm out on the street shrieking and yelling and smacking myself with my hands in order to get imaginary rats off of me, and Kraig starts the hunt to find the rat.
The rat named Morris.
So Morris sneaks into this pile of cardboard crap along one side of the garage. Cardboard crap includes folded up boxes and this HUGE Mulan movie display that an ex boyfriend stole out of the movie theater for me 10 years ago and Kraig woudln't let me throw it out. So Kraig's tossing hte cardboard out on the street in order to clear out the garage and find MOrris, I'm texting Carrie and Nicole D flipping out, this kid on his bike comes over and watches all of this laughing...
I got on the phone with Carrie and suddenly I had to let her go 'cause i saw this BIG BLACK THING moving along one of the boxes tossed from the garage...it was a mutha f*cking HUGE black widow spider. I knew that sometimes we had little baby ones, but this thing was flippin' MASSIVE.
Imagine this looking at you:
Now i'm REALLY freaking out. Kraig comes over, and even he's freaked out a bit (the dude loves bugs and crap, and growing up in California he's pretty unphased by black widow spiders...growing up in OTtawa, I've never seen a black widow in my LIFE, let alone one the size of a cat)...he tried to kick it away but it kept crawling back to the garage, so finally i shoved a piece of cardboard on it and stomped on it (which, apparently, is the most effective method of killing black widows and their egg sacks according to my online research).
I can't even BEGIN to tell you the amount of goo that comes out of a huge black widow spider. It was like someone poured syrup all over my driveway.
And by driveway, i mean the 2 foot space between my garage door and the street.
So back to MOrris.
Kraig has him cornered behind a chunk of cardboard, and asks what he should do, i'm yelling things that probably weren't even English, so he KICKS the cardboard, Morris gets away...
Finally he tells me I need to get some traps.
Side note: rats are nasty and carry a billion diseases. The last time I saw a rat ready to attack me was when i was in a 3rd world country and a rat popped it's head out of the DRAIN...and i was SHOWERING...not cool. Not cool at all.Seriously traumatized me.
I drive to Home Depot (where I called Nicole D in order to continue flipping out) to get my trap action on. I rush in, tell them I need to find their lead rat expert, and the dude tells me how I need to use the big sticky traps.
For those not in the know, basically it's a piece of plastic coated with this uber sticky stuff. You place some peanut butter in the middle and the rat goes for it, and then gets stuck, and basically dies a slow painful death.
Good times.
So i buy 2 packs (2 traps each = 4 traps) and some rat poison for good measure.
Get home, and Kraig tells me how those traps are mean, blah blah. So i tell him to put the poison in the center, PLUS the pb, then that way Morris can at least die faster once he's on teh trap.
So he puts on trap in this cupboard that apparently Morris had been hiding in, and one over by some shelving.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 1
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Monday, December 11
I get up and I'm pretty cranky because I had to park my car outside so that Kraig could park his car in the garage. No WAYYY am I parking in the garage where Morris is ready to either eat me or at the very least, chew on the wires in my car.
Before you laugh at that last comment, apparently where I work there's a problem with rats doing that to people's cars that are parked in front. So suck it.
I get home, call Kraig, and because I can't figure out how to turn off Bluetooth in my car he ends up on speakerphone...I told him to stay on the line while I scoped out the Morris situation...I go to check the rat traps...nope, no Morris. However opening the cupboard door freaked me out so much I ran out of the garage shrieking and yelling, which could be heard from the car (since my car has a speaker and receiver for bluetooth calls), and Kraig was near his friend Chris who was LAUGHING his head off 'cause he could hear me yelling, and now everyoneo n the street could hear me yelling and kraig and chris laughing from my car's speakers.
So when Kraig got home, he pointed out that the poison cube raised the peanut butter so high, that MOrris had figured out how to lick it off without actually getting on the trap. He removed the poison and just put a blob of pb on the traps, and put them back in the garage.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 2
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Tuesday, December 12th
Now at this point I"m really annoyed and tired of parking outside, so once again I drive up to the garage after work and scope out the trap situation.
Mutha effa.
MOrris had somehow eaten ALL the peanut butter off the traps.
I went to park outside again.
Kraig comes home, and he's stressed over work stuff and he's also getting nervous about MOrris eating his comic book collection (stored in the garage) 'cause that's what happened to his comics at his mom's house. He goes to get the traps...
WTF...there were rat pawprints all OVER the traps! Those things aren't sticky at all! Although the trap managed to shred a huge chunk of skin/fur off of Morris, he still got away. So now i'm tired, hungry (I had just gotten home), and ready to flip on Morris and his furry ass. Kraig was busy with work, so I took the 2 traps covered in pawprints and the package of unopened traps back to Home Depot.
I get to Home Depot,a nd i'm like "WTF there's PAW PRINTS...this stuff sucks!" and the guy was all "Hey, weren't you the one who was here on Sunday? We were talking about you today".
Me: "Uhh...why?"
Home Depot Dude: "'cause we saw 3 rats hanging out on the shelves in Aisle 3"
Me: "Wait, you have rats?"
Home Depot Dude: "Oh yeah, no big deal we have them everywhere here, but never just hanging out all three on a shelf like that"
Me: "I'm going to VOMIT now. I want to return these traps"...
The dude felt so bad fo rme that he also refunded me the rat poison, even though I didn't take it back for a refund.
Team H's new strategy: old skool snap traps. At $1.97 each, I could afford 3.
I get home and get Kraig to show me how these suckers work. The only time I've ever seen a trap work was in cartoons. Those things are CRAZY dangerous. And super sensitive. We slather peanut butter on the bait trigger thingy and Kraig goes to set them up in the garage.
I didn't hear any loud snapping noises at night, but then again I also didn't hear Kraig wash up and go to bed 'cause I passed out after watching The Colbert Report.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 3
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Home Depot: stuffed with irony...they sell rat traps and yet, have a rat problem.
Wednesday, December 13th
Waiting to hear back from Kraig if maybe over the night MOrris got snapped. Otherwise, stay tuned.
The Morris saga continues!
Sunday, December 10th
So I'm ready to get a bunch of stuff accomplished...I wanted to clean my car (thanks to our advertisers, Maguiars) and then haul ass on something for work. I gave Kraig the project of installing the free keypad garage door opener I scored off Freecycle.
Kraig hollers at me that he wants me to write down the code from the garage door opener while he reads it out (it's written on the mechanism, which is on the ceiling)...so we're standing outside, and as Kraig goes to walk to the back of the garage I see this HUGE thing scurry from the top of the doorframe (the door that leads into the house) along the wall.
I start screaming that it's a rat, and really...if you recall the Bruno incident...I do NOT do well with creepy crawly things. Rats included. So i'm out on the street shrieking and yelling and smacking myself with my hands in order to get imaginary rats off of me, and Kraig starts the hunt to find the rat.
The rat named Morris.
So Morris sneaks into this pile of cardboard crap along one side of the garage. Cardboard crap includes folded up boxes and this HUGE Mulan movie display that an ex boyfriend stole out of the movie theater for me 10 years ago and Kraig woudln't let me throw it out. So Kraig's tossing hte cardboard out on the street in order to clear out the garage and find MOrris, I'm texting Carrie and Nicole D flipping out, this kid on his bike comes over and watches all of this laughing...
I got on the phone with Carrie and suddenly I had to let her go 'cause i saw this BIG BLACK THING moving along one of the boxes tossed from the garage...it was a mutha f*cking HUGE black widow spider. I knew that sometimes we had little baby ones, but this thing was flippin' MASSIVE.
Imagine this looking at you:
Now i'm REALLY freaking out. Kraig comes over, and even he's freaked out a bit (the dude loves bugs and crap, and growing up in California he's pretty unphased by black widow spiders...growing up in OTtawa, I've never seen a black widow in my LIFE, let alone one the size of a cat)...he tried to kick it away but it kept crawling back to the garage, so finally i shoved a piece of cardboard on it and stomped on it (which, apparently, is the most effective method of killing black widows and their egg sacks according to my online research).
I can't even BEGIN to tell you the amount of goo that comes out of a huge black widow spider. It was like someone poured syrup all over my driveway.
And by driveway, i mean the 2 foot space between my garage door and the street.
So back to MOrris.
Kraig has him cornered behind a chunk of cardboard, and asks what he should do, i'm yelling things that probably weren't even English, so he KICKS the cardboard, Morris gets away...
Finally he tells me I need to get some traps.
Side note: rats are nasty and carry a billion diseases. The last time I saw a rat ready to attack me was when i was in a 3rd world country and a rat popped it's head out of the DRAIN...and i was SHOWERING...not cool. Not cool at all.Seriously traumatized me.
I drive to Home Depot (where I called Nicole D in order to continue flipping out) to get my trap action on. I rush in, tell them I need to find their lead rat expert, and the dude tells me how I need to use the big sticky traps.
For those not in the know, basically it's a piece of plastic coated with this uber sticky stuff. You place some peanut butter in the middle and the rat goes for it, and then gets stuck, and basically dies a slow painful death.
Good times.
So i buy 2 packs (2 traps each = 4 traps) and some rat poison for good measure.
Get home, and Kraig tells me how those traps are mean, blah blah. So i tell him to put the poison in the center, PLUS the pb, then that way Morris can at least die faster once he's on teh trap.
So he puts on trap in this cupboard that apparently Morris had been hiding in, and one over by some shelving.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 1
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Monday, December 11
I get up and I'm pretty cranky because I had to park my car outside so that Kraig could park his car in the garage. No WAYYY am I parking in the garage where Morris is ready to either eat me or at the very least, chew on the wires in my car.
Before you laugh at that last comment, apparently where I work there's a problem with rats doing that to people's cars that are parked in front. So suck it.
I get home, call Kraig, and because I can't figure out how to turn off Bluetooth in my car he ends up on speakerphone...I told him to stay on the line while I scoped out the Morris situation...I go to check the rat traps...nope, no Morris. However opening the cupboard door freaked me out so much I ran out of the garage shrieking and yelling, which could be heard from the car (since my car has a speaker and receiver for bluetooth calls), and Kraig was near his friend Chris who was LAUGHING his head off 'cause he could hear me yelling, and now everyoneo n the street could hear me yelling and kraig and chris laughing from my car's speakers.
So when Kraig got home, he pointed out that the poison cube raised the peanut butter so high, that MOrris had figured out how to lick it off without actually getting on the trap. He removed the poison and just put a blob of pb on the traps, and put them back in the garage.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 2
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Tuesday, December 12th
Now at this point I"m really annoyed and tired of parking outside, so once again I drive up to the garage after work and scope out the trap situation.
Mutha effa.
MOrris had somehow eaten ALL the peanut butter off the traps.
I went to park outside again.
Kraig comes home, and he's stressed over work stuff and he's also getting nervous about MOrris eating his comic book collection (stored in the garage) 'cause that's what happened to his comics at his mom's house. He goes to get the traps...
WTF...there were rat pawprints all OVER the traps! Those things aren't sticky at all! Although the trap managed to shred a huge chunk of skin/fur off of Morris, he still got away. So now i'm tired, hungry (I had just gotten home), and ready to flip on Morris and his furry ass. Kraig was busy with work, so I took the 2 traps covered in pawprints and the package of unopened traps back to Home Depot.
I get to Home Depot,a nd i'm like "WTF there's PAW PRINTS...this stuff sucks!" and the guy was all "Hey, weren't you the one who was here on Sunday? We were talking about you today".
Me: "Uhh...why?"
Home Depot Dude: "'cause we saw 3 rats hanging out on the shelves in Aisle 3"
Me: "Wait, you have rats?"
Home Depot Dude: "Oh yeah, no big deal we have them everywhere here, but never just hanging out all three on a shelf like that"
Me: "I'm going to VOMIT now. I want to return these traps"...
The dude felt so bad fo rme that he also refunded me the rat poison, even though I didn't take it back for a refund.
Team H's new strategy: old skool snap traps. At $1.97 each, I could afford 3.
I get home and get Kraig to show me how these suckers work. The only time I've ever seen a trap work was in cartoons. Those things are CRAZY dangerous. And super sensitive. We slather peanut butter on the bait trigger thingy and Kraig goes to set them up in the garage.
I didn't hear any loud snapping noises at night, but then again I also didn't hear Kraig wash up and go to bed 'cause I passed out after watching The Colbert Report.
Cumulative Results
Morris: 3
Team H: 0
Ursula the Spider: disqualified.
Home Depot: stuffed with irony...they sell rat traps and yet, have a rat problem.
Wednesday, December 13th
Waiting to hear back from Kraig if maybe over the night MOrris got snapped. Otherwise, stay tuned.
The Morris saga continues!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
TBS: My Boys
So as usual, last night I was zonked and crashed in front of the tv when I got home (I worked late, so I'm allowed to!).
Started flipping through the channels, which is pretty dumb considering I'm heavily backlogged on my DVR viewing. Plus i've got 2 DVDs of last season's Nip/Tuck I gotta watch. Anyway I caught the tail end of TBS' version of Sex and The City (does it ever get old? Answer: OH HELL NO. SATC is so timeless), and then I got the little promo saying that the new show My Boys would be coming up next...
I saw a ton of commercials for it (becuase I watch a ton of tv, naturally) and decided to give it a whirl...
OMG.
I absolutelyLOVED My Boys. It's basically about a single chick who's got 1 female best friend and like 6 best guy friends who get together regularly for poker. She's a guy's girl, but it's funny because she has no qualms telling these guys what we chicks would LOVE to tell dudes.
Why this show kicks ass:
1. It's original. I really can't think of any other show that compares to it. The premise is good, and the characters are likeable.
2. It's got Kyle Howard...he was in Grosse Pointe on the WB way back in the day, which was another brilliant show that sadly got axed before it's time (that was back when WB was still new and pretty much only had Seventh Heaven as it's claim to fame). You can't go wrong when Kyle Howard stars in your show.
3. The main chick (AJ? DJ? TJ? whatever)...not overly pretty but still cute, she's the type who can play every girl's best friend. Good casting choice.
4. It's NOT set in LA or New York. Gasp, there's other places in the US? Really? Wow.
5. You can watch the episodes online if you missed any.
6. It's got new age wit, which alot of tv shows lack...even Gilmore Girls is outdated in it's use of wit, even though it was probably one of the wittiest shows back in it's hayday.
On other news, I still have to put up the photos on Shutterfly from my visit with my brother. GET OFF MY BACK! I'm busy!
Started flipping through the channels, which is pretty dumb considering I'm heavily backlogged on my DVR viewing. Plus i've got 2 DVDs of last season's Nip/Tuck I gotta watch. Anyway I caught the tail end of TBS' version of Sex and The City (does it ever get old? Answer: OH HELL NO. SATC is so timeless), and then I got the little promo saying that the new show My Boys would be coming up next...
I saw a ton of commercials for it (becuase I watch a ton of tv, naturally) and decided to give it a whirl...
OMG.
I absolutely
Why this show kicks ass:
1. It's original. I really can't think of any other show that compares to it. The premise is good, and the characters are likeable.
2. It's got Kyle Howard...he was in Grosse Pointe on the WB way back in the day, which was another brilliant show that sadly got axed before it's time (that was back when WB was still new and pretty much only had Seventh Heaven as it's claim to fame). You can't go wrong when Kyle Howard stars in your show.
3. The main chick (AJ? DJ? TJ? whatever)...not overly pretty but still cute, she's the type who can play every girl's best friend. Good casting choice.
4. It's NOT set in LA or New York. Gasp, there's other places in the US? Really? Wow.
5. You can watch the episodes online if you missed any.
6. It's got new age wit, which alot of tv shows lack...even Gilmore Girls is outdated in it's use of wit, even though it was probably one of the wittiest shows back in it's hayday.
On other news, I still have to put up the photos on Shutterfly from my visit with my brother. GET OFF MY BACK! I'm busy!
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