Baby you're a perfect ten...no diggity, no blog

FYI: Chino = Ryan = America.

Let's get the usual out of the way...

The OC
WTF no more episodes until March 9?! WTF! That's unacceptable! And THANK GOD they killed Johnny. I just wish they hadn't had Kaitlyn leave...i was digging that cute kid who was chasing after her. I'm a sucker for nice teeth and a great smile. And guys who look like they're 16 apparently.

Lunch...Yesterday...

So yesterday I go to lunch with the usual engineers (yes Norm, that includes yer boy) and in typical fashion, the Scope Out The Hot Chicks game goes on...

This chick and her friend walk over to the outdoor eating area from the parking lot, and I'm all "here we go, typical cute girly thang with her low jeans and flat stomach to make the guys drool".

Umm yeah there was some checking out going on by everyone involved (everyone meaning: anyone with a penis who sat in the food eating area thingy). Well the chick (Girl1) and her friend (Girl2) end up sitting one table away from ours in the outdoor eating area.

So I'm arguing with my friends/coworkers over who's better looking.

To ANY girl, Girl2 was better looking. A bit too much makeup, but a cute outfit, FANTASTIC skin...she was a dead ringer for Lauren Bush. However my coworkers insisted Girl1 was WAYYYY better looking. Great body (I don't think i twas that great...more like...she was thin and had no fat)...but omg what is WRONG with them?! Her face was horrible...her hair was just shoved in a crappy low ponytail...and her skin was just awful. I mean, seriously, a Proactiv commercial.

Upon serious argument, I go over to a table of around 6 guys having lunch in order to ask THEM the same question: "...who's hotter? Girl1 or Girl2? Wait! Don't turn around! Don't make it obvious! Okay now look..."...

And ALL of them said Girl1. Although one guy did say "...except she's got bad skin" (well at least ONE guy notices when a girl's got a great complexion).

I have no problems representing womankind in saying that the majority of us chicks would have said Chick2 was hotter. The other chick was borderline skanky looking, and not in an "easy lay" kind of way (which fine, is hot to a guy) but more like "skanky i don't take care of myself and i dress like a hootch on weekends and i'm nasty"...She was a butterface really. I mean, COME ON...the other chick looked like Lauren Bush! A model!

So what's my point?

My point is, I think I'll be fascinated till the day I die with the inner minds of guys. You think you know them...and then you're blown away by the sh*t you find out.

In other news...
Guys, just some tips for ya (if you don't feel like reading The Game):

1. Don't offer a chick a dark towel if she says she's on her rag and doesn't want s*x. WTF. Sometimes, being on the rag is the best excuse to take a breather from the leg shaving and body maintaining. You guys look like garbage 99% of the time. So let us have a few days.

2. A few well-selected compliments will go much further than a bunch of excessive generic compliments. Take a cue from Skipper on SATC when he saw Miranda at the convenience store..."You're luminous". That's all it took. Be the guy who tells us things we've never heard before and/or yearn to hear.

3. We love being complimented when we've clearly put in effort to get dolled up. (By dolled up I mean...we shaved our legs and/or our shoes look REALLY painful). But complimenting us when we're wearing regular clothes...now THAT's a way to our hearts, because we generally think we look like a$$ when we haven't slathered on tons of makeup or worn a pushup bra.

4. Please, please, PLEASE don't discuss your bathroom habits with us. I thought maybe it was just my husband but after futher analysis, it seems ALOT of guys do that with chicks. Are you guys retarded? That's the #2 way (ha bad pun) to not get laid, second only to confessing that you raped a goat.

5. DON'T immediately throw your clothes on after sex (well unless it was a quickie and you guys gotta be somewhere). Okay put your boxers on, i get it, your buddy isn't as great looking after the fact. BUT...give us a break. We know you don't like cuddling after...and we know not to ask you "whatcha thinking"...but throwing on all your clothes after pretty much is one step away from saying "so...how much do I owe you?" (yes, this applies even if it's your girlfriend). It's not too much to ask to just wait during some of that afterglow before killing the whole thing with clothes as if it never happened.

6. In honor of Valentine's Day...mother effer, get the girl a frickin' CARD. I know this is rough if you just started seeing a girl before Vday, but I don't care...if you wanna get laid again, get a f*cking card. I don't care if your situation is "complicated", GET A F*CKING CARD (yeah, bitter from one guy in my past...that f*cker...i dont' care if you're out of town...mail it to me!)...and there's cards for every complicated situation, Stefanie and I found a "To my daughter and her boyfriend" card at Target for God's sakes!!!!

7. Candles. Music. Yes, We love it. It's cheesy. It doesn't matter. It WORKS. I noticed (HA in my old age) a correlation between age and the candle/music factor...guys in high school will do that even if all you're going to do is make out...maybe they get the idea from movies, I don't know...I don't have any high school guys I can ask. But I guess the novelty wears off, or maybe guys feel gay buying candles later in life, I don't know. I'm just saying...I don't care if you're married or not, young or not...candles and music jackasses. On occasion.

Side note: Incense is NOT the same as candles. Incense is for when you're in college and people are smoking pot. When i smell incense now, even if it's passing by a stand in the mall, all I can think of is powdery nasty cheap coffee tables and figuring out how to copy somoene else's assignment

8. When in doubt...don't give chocolate. You all know why. I won't even bother explaining.

9. Seven ate nine. Ha ha.

10. Girls: offer to take your guy's car in for an oil change. Especially if you've asked him to pick up a box of tampons for you. (Okay I've never done that, but that's only because i'm VERY picky about my "tamponage" and if there's any chance of a screw up...i don't want to be the person who returns the wrong box of tampons. Even if you gave them an empty box, guys are still gonna pick up the wrong one IMO).

Heeeeeeeeeeiiidiii Hooooooooo!!!

OC and World Politics

From Yale Daily news:
If you haven't noticed, there's a whole lot going down on the international scene -- I'm talking Chloe Sevigny on Vincent Gallo in "The Brown Bunny" levels. (Or perhaps you prefer "Monica Lewinsky on Bill Clinton.")

Many of us don't understand the implications of a Hamas victory in Palestine, yet we understand the consequences of Marissa Cooper answering her sister's cell phone when Johnny the Surfer calls it on "The O.C."

But maybe if we pretend the characters in "The O.C" are actually countries, then we'll understand what's going on in the world.

Welcome to the I.R., bitch. This is how it's done in International Relations:

The part of Ryan Atwood would be America. The USA is new to the scene, really a touching rags-to-riches story. He's the main character, so the decisions he makes are central to the show. He quickly became a source of power, making him a polarizing figure with the other characters. He may be rich now, but he hasn't lost his street cred -- don't piss off America, because he'll fight you quicker than a drunk, hair-gelled Q-packer at Toad's to prove it. He has a history with France, Iraq and Israel, but we'll meet them later. First we have to meet his mentor, Sandy, a.k.a Great Britain.

Great Britain is wise, he has been around the block. Consequently, he decided to take USA under his wing, even though most of the other parents hate America. Sometimes USA drags him into trouble, but only because Britain is loyal like a dog. He's not like the other parents who think pontification solves everything; he leads by doing. Britain enjoys English ale, but sometimes he'll get a taste of an Irish car bomb.

Seth Cohen is Israel, the Jewish son of Great Britain. America is his best friend and bodyguard, which gets America into lots of trouble because Israel isn't very popular at school. Sometimes America thinks if he were to drop Israel as a friend, many of America's I.R. problems would be gone.

The object of America's affection, Iraq, is Marissa Cooper. For a while, Iraq was stable, at least on the surface. But once she was penetrated by America, everything exploded. Now Iraq is a complete whack job, making everyone and everything around her unstable. She feels that her mom, France, didn't do enough to protect her. The only person who has been by her side this whole time is America, although he is fed up with her antics.

To make matters worse for Iraq, her little sister, Kaitlin Cooper a.k.a. Iran, is just plain awful. There's no other way to put it. It wasn't always this way -- she was tight with America and had a nice sibling rivalry going with Iraq. Then puberty turned her into a raging bitch … no, a bastard. If there were ever a girl that could be called a bastard, it is Iran. Immediately after puberty, she went to war with Iraq and began hating Israel and America because she knows if they aren't around she will wield much more power. Iran is doing everything she can to mess with Iraq, America, Britain, and Israel right now -- because she is socially backwards. Iran should think twice before she continues down this path, though, because in due time she will provoke the wrath of America.

Russia (Johnny the Surfer) felt he could give Iraq things that America couldn't. Unfortunately, he is a lame-ass. The guy brings nothing to the table, so in the battle for Iraq, he lost to America. In fact, he's basically America's bitch. He recently stirred things up by getting fresh with Iraq's sister, completely oblivious that Iran is just using him as a pawn in her devious scheme to rule The I.R.

Summer Roberts is Italy. Italy is the beauty who is always there to help out America and Iraq. On the surface, Italy is very different from Israel -- they have two completely different backgrounds and religions -- but they do have some similarities deep down, which is why they make a good couple.

Kiesten Cohen would be Spain. Spain was very close to Britain, America and Israel, but she went through a rough time -- after getting bombed, she withdrew and quit trying to help America's relationship with Iraq. Spain has been relatively quiet in recent episodes.

Julie Cooper (or France) used to have it all; the Queen of the Parents. Now she lives in a trailer, loathed by all. One thing she hasn't lost, though, is her arrogance. France hates America because he screwed up Iraq. She will do anything to regain her clout, which includes getting closer with people like Iran and Russia. She has also used Spain's recent vulnerability to get closer to her.

Taylor Townsend is Saudi Arabia. America and the gang are sort of forced to be friends with Saudi Arabia, but they haven't forgotten how she backstabbed them. She is probably bipolar -- she'll blow you or blow you away, depending on which Saudi Arabia decides to show up.

Last, but least, we have Canada, originally known as Chilly. Canada is one of the least important characters on the show. His main role is to be the dork everyone laughs at.

I hope this rundown of international relations will help to dispel the "ignorant American" stereotype. (I knew my poli sci major would come in handy some day.)

And if you're wondering where my vast "O.C." knowledge comes from, well, my girlfriend gave me a refresher course. Seriously, I don't Tivo every episode. I don't wish Sandy Cohen was my dad. I don't drink every time someone on the show says "Newport" or every time Seth makes a pop culture reference.

I swear.


uh NO but you have a drink every time the following occurs:
"Julie Cooper Nichol"
"Shmear"
Ryan punches someone
"Newpsies"

There must be an angel, with a smile on her face...when she thought up that I should be with you

I'm tired
So I'll post the crap from today tomorrow...I swear if I could have ANY job (okay other than professional TV watcher...or napper) it would be someone who studies the psychology b/w men and women...I'm beyond fascinated with the male and female minds and how they attempt to co-exist on this planet...

Just a note that this was a crazy week...super good times mixed with some sad news (the peak of it tonight when I got to my email)...heck, I saw a dead cat that I guess had just been hit driving home tonight...and yet, a split second before I saw it, I was smiling and singing Maroon 5 at the top of my lungs.

Anyway so I just wanted to post the song of the day, still in Countdown to Vday...
The song of the day is Waiting For A Girl Like You by Foreigner...yeah I dig Footloose. Suck it.
You're so good, when we make love it's understood
It's more than a touch or a word can say
Only in dreams could it be this way
When you love someone, yeah, really love someone

Now I know it's right, from the moment I wake up till deep in the night
There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly


It's so cheesy it's fabulous. Just effing fabulous.

**yawn**

The sleep situation is NOT good. The cats have officially taken over. First it was the little things...now it's like the doomsday scenes from Terminator...it's them vs. us at this point. And they're winning. Big time.

So I'm pretty much a zombie, and then I come home and nap like crazy, which usually gives me enough energy to survive the gym. But these new birth control pills, plus the cat situation...i've been eating and sleeping and that's IT. Bad bad.

Speaking of the gym....

Anyone who knows me knows that i do NOT go to the gym after work. It's an effing cattle drive...all of us bobbing up and down in unison...I hate that. Plus it's super hot and you're lucky if you can get any piece of equipment. I also don't like people on the machines on either side of me...I take my space bubble very seriously when it comes to working out.

So I tend to go after 10pm...it's alot more quiet (although there's still a ton of people there...I go to the 24HF in Ladera Ranch, it's brand new so it's still spiffy) and you get alot less of the "I'm going to talk on my cell phone or talk for hours with my friends while we stand around" types.

Now let me say...I have respect for ANYONE who goes to the gym. Especially people who clearly are not buff...because that's even harder than someone who's already fit and needs to maintain.

There's this one chick...who with clothes on, probably looks hot. But she always wears leggings and bra tops...which even then I wouldn't be catty about if she didn't pull that "I think I'm hot and I think my body is hot" thing. I can't STAND it when chicks with long hair leave their hair down. It's nasty. And in her case, she's got that dyed-hair that looks more orange than anything else with 3 inches of roots. And she's got great arms because her boyfriend makes her lift weights...but her stomach is flabby (so's mine, but you don't see me flaunting myself in itty bitty outfits!). She irks me.

There was one dude two nights ago who actually asked me if it was okay if he turned the tv channel. That was pretty nice...considering I won't even ask (hey, there's news on every channel at 10pm...i'm doing everyone a favor by putting one of the TVs to SATC or South Park).

Then there's the pull up bar....mmmgugngng. Where I do my elliptical, the big weight cable machine thingy is a few rows ahead but in full line of sight. And the pull up bar thing faces the mirror, which means that when guys are using it their backs are to me.

Usually when guys use that thing, they either have tshirts with the arms cut off or their sleeves get bunched up anyway. There is nothing
nothing
NOTHING
nothing
Hotter than when a dude is using that device. (Totally forgot the name...you know, where you reach above you with your arms outstretched, grab the bar, and hoist yourself up...i'll never in my life be able to do even ONE...my body weight vs. my arms...so not pretty). I'm SUCH a sucker for a guy's neck, shoulders, and arms...i swear sometimes watching the guys on that thing is the only thing that gets me through my workout.

I know.
I'm a perverted old lady.

My coworker seemed in such shock that Valentine's Day is a big countdown. I mean, for Christmas it's a big deal....people decorate a month in advance. For Hallowe'en you're already chowing down on candylong before the 31st of October. So it seems fit that people should be in an extra lovey-dovey sappy mood for 14 days of the year. Even if you're not in a relationship. Suck it.

The song of the day, still in countdown mode to Vday is Lady in Red by Chris de Burgh....that's big time old...
I’ve never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I’ve never seen you shine so bright you were amazing
I’ve never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away
And I have never had such a feeling such a feeling
Of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

Blogback mountain

>This is effing hilarious...

They redid the trailor for Top Gun into Brokeback Mountain.

I love the Internet. I'm gonna marry the Internet!

Maybe he's just not that into Blog

I swear something inside of me is going to break if I laugh any harder: Fly Swatter and Meat!

In the car I usually listen to either KFI AM640 (talk radio) or 97.1 (the one howard stern used to be on)...on KFI they were talking about vag1nal surgery....you know, where they reconstruct it to look all pretty and all that.

Well living in Orange County, of course i get a TON of flyers and coupons for plastic surgery, including "gynecological restructuring" so to speak...the novelty has worn off, but it's still funny to hear people talk about it.

This one chick who was interviewed said There's no excuse for having a loose vag1na in 2006.

And then another chick said that she didn't care if she was ugly, just as long as it was attractive "down there". Uh lemme tell you something...if you're ugly, no guy's gonna wanna see what you have down there. Trust me. Put your plastic surgery money to good use.

Apparently what people do is bring in photos of porn stars and request to look like them, and plastic surgeons keep them taped up as reference when they perform the surgeries.

My thing is....
Either way...
It's not ATTRACTIVE down there.

I can tell you what attractive boobs, face, whatever look like. But down THERE....hopefully not so many people will be LOOKING down there for their opinions to even matter. HOw do you even compliment that? "My, what a pretty labia you have"...

shudder

That's SO bizarre to me. Don't get me wrong, it's one thing when you're damaged after childbirth. It's another when you just want to look like some porn chick or you think parts are too big (because "petite" is in apparently).

On another note, Breakfast at Tiffany's is out on DVD today (the special edition)....going to Best Buy at lunch today. Heidi Ho....

No song of the day 'cause all of the ones I had listed for Valentine's Day countdown don't seem to be good enough. We're 7 days away folks...

Quick blog in the back of a car

It' 10:15, gotta get my lazy ass to the gym, I just wanted to post in order to keep up with my Countdown to Valentine's Day song of the day...

The song of the day is I'll Make Love To You by Boys II Men
Girl relax, let's go slow
I ain't got nowhere to go
I'm just gonna concentrate on you
Girl are you ready, it's gonna be a long night


Ohhhh yeahhhh that's what I'm talkin' about...

Jane you ignorant slut

So I've been pretty crabby this weekend...to say that I've been in a bad, BAD, bad mood would be putting it mildly.

To top it off, Kraig and I watched Swordfish yesterday on DVD...OMG i knew there was a reason I didn't want to watch it 5 years ago.

Seriously...will people STOP making movies where the numbers make little "ding dingly dingggg" noises when they come on the screen? To top it off, Hugh Jackman wears EARPHONES while programming...but he keeps the volume on so we can hear the computer making "digngngngngnglllyy" noises when it compiles?! WHO DOES THAT?! NO ONE! In fact, if you're not listening to music, odds are, you've got your sound turned off.

AND...to top it off...he was all impressed...by...flatscreen monitors that were positioned at non-ergonomic levels?! WTF is that about? And what programming language translates your code to little cubes when it's compiled correctly?! AND....okay granted I don't know anything about making a worm but my guess is that you're not going to have "Infection Status..." flashing on your screen.

FINALLY...can we please stop having in movies where people hack into government networks and when it doesn't work, BIG RED FLASHING TEXT appears on the screen saying "ACCESS DENIED"...and then when you hack in (apparently EVERYONE can get into the DND network) it says in big green letters ACCESS GRANTED. SOrry, big green letters with a "beep! Beep!" sound to match as it flashes. I mean, what do I know...maybe the American Government really does have their networks do that. But...for the sake of reality (i.e. 99% of us will never attempt to hack into that network)...can you just make it look like a normal logon screen?!

Anyway, that's besides the point.

All i CAN say is that this is the only thing that cheered me up today:

(stigmata...i'm cryyyyying laughing...although i realize that posting that will either end up as a broken link or at least, eff up my template format 'cause it's too wide and i don't want to shrink it down)



Going to watch some OC today...that should lift my spirits. In fact, I just need a blowup doll of Seth in my house...THAT would keep me cheered up.

The song of the day, with the countdown to Vday approaching, is LOVE IS by Vanessa Williams & Brian McKnight
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away
So easily


Yeah, an oldie but a goodie with that one.

Blog love

So today I took over for Carrie as Dog Walker Extraordinaire.

I've never walked a dog before in my life. I mean, I've gone with friends who have walked their dogs...but today...it was Sabina vs. Dog.

Or more specifically,
Sabina vs. Daisy

I'd tell you the breed of dog...but all I can say is the breed was small, white, fluffy, with a brown nose. For an older dog, she's quite spry...she was running pretty fast. I don't know what's with this rich couple having such a ghetto dog leash...I had to keep the button pressed the entire time in order to keep the leash at a certain length.

Speaking of rich...OH MY GOD. These homes in Laguna Niguel are just amazing. Granted elsewhere people would look and say "Uh...they have no front yard"...which is true, rich people's homes in Orange County consist of a huge driveway, a huge walkway, and nothing more. I was in hysterics when this ugly over-tanned-burnt guy opened his garage door to expose his corvette and ferrari. You know what's even more sad? Those aren't even THAT high end of cars, but elsewhere they would be.

Anyway, back to Daisy. So we're walking along, and I'm thinking "yeah I can do this, dogs are cute. Maybe one day we'll get one".

Uh...no.

First off, their peeing situation isn't cool. She'd run up to someone's yard and start peeing. And you can't STOP a dog mid-pee. And the pooping? Nasty ass stuff. Worse too is that she would go do that where clearly other dogs like to do that too...and then she would step in other dogs' old poop...and the cord would wrap around her and the old poop...

Being extremely hungover, it's amazing I didn't projectile vomit.

Anyway, my point is that today was my first day EVER of walking a dog by myself. Go me. Maybe tomorrow I'll take on solid food.

The song of the day (still in honor of Valentine's Day coming up) is This I Swear by Nick Lachey...I know he's separated and all that from his wife, but it's a BEAUTIFUL song. My plan is to dance to it with kraig on our X year wedding vow renewal.
I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you

I may not say it half as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together

Dang...sometimes, love is just plain awesome.

He blogs me, he blogs me not

Twelve days till Valentine's Day!

Not much to say today, the only point of writing is to get my countdown to Valentine's Day song down for the record...

In celebrity news:
1. Madonna. Gorillaz. I can't WAIT for the Grammys.

2. "Nick Lachey releasing first single"
Nick Lachey is set to release the first song from his new album on Friday February 3 on AOL First Listen. The song's title is "What's Left of Me" and was written by Nick, Jess Crates, Lindy Robbins (both co-wrote Incomplete by the Backstreet Boys) and Emanuel Kiriakou (worked with the BSB, Nick and Jessica, Joe McIntyre and numerous other names, movies and so forth). Nick will then be in NYC on February 6th and will be debuting the song on Z100 with Chubby and will follow that up on February 7th with Ryan Seacrest in LA.
C'mon folks...we gotta SUPPORT the guy. He's hot. And nice. And actually likes to fix things himself. AND he got Jessica a new closet as a gift.
3. Heather Locklear. OH. MY. GAWD. I can't believe it.
I don't have time to write all the stuff I wanna say about the gym dudes, so that'll be this weekend.

Going with our theme of great love songs...the song of the day is You're The Inspiration by Chicago
You know
our love was meant to be
the kind of love that lasts forever.
And I want you here with me from tonight
until the end of time.

Male Compliments

Here's the List of Sabina's Interpretations On Male Compliments:

Pretty: this is a compliment, with a "but". As in...you're attractive....but...you're not drop dead gorgeous or anything else that's up there in the scale. It's a great compliment...but...doesn't really make a girl's heart flutter with glee.
Example: Mandy Moore.

Cute: I get this one alot. That's not a good thing. Cute translates to "you're aesthetically pleasing but not in an a I Want To Bone You kind of way, but rather, in a My Friend's Kid Sister kind of way". So you're a notch above neutral which is itself a notch above ugly. Cute is non-threatening, but...sometimes, you want to be attractive in a threatening-I-Can-Break-Your-Heart kind of way.
Example: Alyson Hannigan

Beautiful: this is an old-skool compliment. Guys are quick to use other compliments, but "beautiful" never seems to get used. This is the equivalent of Grace Kelly...very old fashioned and classic beauty who seems flawless. This is the compliment you can get from both your boyfriend AND your boyfriend's father (without it being creepy).
Example: Charlize Theron, Catherine Zeta Jones.

Gorgeous: this is like the modern version of Beautiful. It's not a classic beauty, and it's almost like she's NOT flawless...but her un-flawless features combine to make something ridiculously attractive. This is NOT a compliment you should get from your boyfriend's father...it's got an air of sexuality about it that's just a wee inappropriate for older men to comment on.
Example: Jessica Alba

Hot: This is pure sex appeal, mixed with a bit of Gorgeous. Not only are you not kicking this girl out of your bed, you're making sure she gets in there in the first place. The only problem with this compliment is that there seems to be a correlation between "hot" and "slightly nutty". Gorgeous girls don't vandalize their ex boyfriends cars. HOT ones do.
Example: Eva Longoria, Carmen Electra

F*cking hot: the motherload of compliments. Well okay any compliment with "f*cking" in front of it is generally good, when used in serious moderation (otherwise it's just...classless). This goes above thinking the woman is attractive, you want to have her in your bed, this also goes down to "here's my dog collar, 'cause i can't stop panting when i'm around you"...when you're F*cking Hot, you can get a guy to paint your walls and change your oil...while you're out of town. However the nuttiness factor is extremely high with girls of this caliber. She's also capable of eating you for breakfast after she's ripped your heart to shreds (after you've painted those walls of course).
Example: Krista Allen, Angelina Jolie

Countdown to Valentine's Day!!!

Seriously.
I dig Valentine's Day.

From an email from Evan:
I was kinda pi$$ed last night, I started watching this TV show called Love Monkey with Tom Cavanagh in it and it’s awesome but they had that stupid State of the Union address on instead. What’s that all about? Like the US is oblivious to Canada’s issues, we’re completely oblivious to your’s too. Well, I guess I can’t say completely, but pretty close :)

I’m writing this while on the phone on hold with Symantec and if I have to listen to one more version of that PM Dawn song “Faith In You” I’m going to snap and loose it!!!

(the second part was just funny)

Don't say "your" when it comes to the US, this is NOT my country. I like the US, don't get me wrong, but I was just as upset over the State of the Union thing too. It cut into my Entertainment Tonight time. AND...I really did try watching it. Really. But Bush was yakking on about "we're making sure the people are secure and blah blah" and I'm like "wow, I could BS this speech too. Basically you're talking alot but nothing is said. "

Why do people watch that? Can't I just a recap later? Can't i read it online and skip through the crap? (Okay, assuming there's things other than crap and BS). DO I REALLY NEED TO SEE IT LIVE?!! Can't I just have the option to download it later? So can you please give me back my Entertainment Tonight?

I rely on TV to make me dumber each night. I feel like watching Bush speak is like trying to make me smarter by giving me the teachings of an elementary school dropout. If i'm gonna get dumber, i'm gonna do it on blatantly stupid time. Which happens to start at 7pm each night.

Since Lost is a rerun tonight, here's a happy reminder:
''She's kind of cute, right? You know, in an I've-been-terrorized-by-the-Others-for-40-days kind of way.''

So countdown to valentine's day and 14 days of love songs...
The song of the day is You're Beautiful by James Blunt
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

I
LOVE
THAT
SONG
Even though it's kind of slow I played it over and over at the gym last night.

Coming up in upcoming blogs...in honor of Vday:
1. Compliments given to women and how we interpret them (okay...more importantly...how I interpret them)
2. The dudes at the gym. Someone's gotta give some credit to those guys. I'll take one for the team.

Eff Why Eye

Dave Chappelle will finally explain why he walked away from a $50 million TV deal — to Oprah, of course.

The stand-up comic who made headlines last year when he suddenly and mysteriously quit his Comedy Central show in the middle of filming its third season is expected to explain what happened this Friday in a pre-taped interview with Oprah Winfrey.

Coincidentally, Chappelle once starred in a famous comedy sketch in which he fathered Oprah's baby and quit his job, assuming he'd be set for life.

While it's not his first interview since ending "Chappelle's Show" — Time magazine tracked him down in South Africa last year — it will be the first time Chappelle has appeared on TV to talk about what happened.

At the time, Chappelle denied reports that he had suffered some sort of mental breakdown or drug addiction and said he had gone to Africa simply to purify himself and to do some soul searching.

Chappelle has also said he was unhappy with the direction of his show. — Don Kaplan



Gotta DVR that Oprah episode...

On another note, Sarah Silverman is getting her own tv show on Comedy Central...I like the girl (sorry folks, i don't think she's hot but she's cute...), she's funny and alot like the girlfriend we all wished we had.

Vanity Smurf

I swear, I would die without TV. When people say they "don't have time" for TV...well you know what mother effer? Get a DVR. You're missing out on some serious pop culture. Don't act like you're too smart to watch TV...each day is pure sensory overload....there's nothing like sitting down in front of the TV and turning my brain to standby mode while I let someone else do the talking and thinking for me.

On that note, Dr. 90210 tonight was fabulous. I love Dr. Rey. He's creepy, sure, but I dig that he's a workaholic with a bit of a perverted side. Anyway he did some pro-bono work in Mexico and you gotta love a man who cries at the plight of those less fortunate. When he was talking to his daughter about the poor girl with jacked up fingers (or lack of them, really) and how they were going to get her Christmas gifts...I was screaming at the TV "I want to send her Christmas gifts too! And i HATE Christmas! "....

Although they contrasted that story with Dr. Matlock, who clearly has SERIOUS Look at me, I've made it in this life, and nothing screams success like Versace repeated over and over as well as the cost of my eighty eight dollar underwear
(A man who wears briefs?Eww)

Now that being said, as shallow as the dude was...I kind of felt bad 'cause they made it look like he was pure slime while ohhh look at all the poor people in Mexico who just want their children to be healthy blah blah.

I don't expect fabulously rich people to give half their money to poor people. (Quite honestly, I wish they'd give their money to ME...but well that's a pipe dream). I DO think that they should contribute their energy though, like Dr. Rey did....I believe their education better serves those less fortunate than tossing a couple of bucks. And who knows if maybe Dr. Matlock does indeed donate a ton of his money and/or time? But they made him look way shallow...shallow people can help people...even if their intentions are for taxable-donation purposes...all I'm saying is that we can't knock the dude 'cause he's rich, wears ugly underwear, and likes the good life. Why can't you have all that AND help others? Shame on you Dr. 90210...shame on you.

On to other topics...

For those afraid of coyotes when walking their dog:
Do coyotes present any danger people?

Coyotes rarely attack humans. Bites from snakes, rodents, and domestic doges are a far greater possibility than coyote bites, according to public health authorities. Coyotes that are fed become accustomed to people and present a human safety risk. People should never intentionally feed or attempt to tame coyotes. It is in the best interest of both coyotes and humans if coyotes retain their instinctive fear of people. The following important points can help minimize potential conflicts with coyotes:

Never approach or touch a coyote
Never intentionally feed a coyote
Eliminate all outside food sources, especially pet foods
Put garbage out the morning of pickup day
Clear out wood and brush piles; they are good habitat for rats and mice and may attract coyotes
Good husbandry practices, guard animals, and coyote control measures can help to protect livestock
Do no allow pets t roam free when coyotes are present
Consider keeping pets indoors or accompany them outside

Good husbandry practices? Well you learn a new word each day (yes I'm an idiot...i assumed husbandry meant "behaviors which constitute good husband conduct"):
hus·band·ry ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hzbn-dr)
n.
The act or practice of cultivating crops and breeding and raising livestock; agriculture.
The application of scientific principles to agriculture, especially to animal breeding.
Careful management or conservation of resources; economy.



AND FINALLY....
On some more love and Valentine's Day thoughts...

Caught the last clip of InStyle Weddings...the one crappy part about being married is that I no longer have any reasons to buy InSTyle weddings (which I bought long before I even met Kraig). What is it with weddings that make people cry? I never cried at JACK in public before...and now, even celebrity weddings (i.e. temporary) make me bawl at the tv.

and the last babbling of the night...
My car is too ghetto for words.
So the visor has been broken forever, and the only thing that kept it held up was this broken purple clip...I could have just ripped the whole visor off (since I can't pull it down and make it functional anyway) but that was just TOO aesthetically displeasing...but then this weekend Kraig accidentally pulled it down, which made the whole thing worse...

So i had to step up the do-it-yourself-factor and remove the funky broken purple clip...it got replaced with two binder clips. Livin' large people! Binder clips! I'm scoping out ebay for a replacement visor but um yeah a grey, driver's side visor for a 99 Nissan Sentra isn't exactly something you see every day.

Final thoughts
After some discussion tonight...

Yeah, life could be worse. I realize that. People have cancer and what not. I KNOW. Heck, my life has been a billion times worse than it is now. I KNOW. But I'm the female, human version of Eeyore and it's just a little too easy to wallow in self misery over my own hangnails.

Especially when you live in Orange County...and I know some people can relate to things like say when you get prequalified for a home loan and when you go house hunting, you pretty much have to tell everyone "yes. I'm poor. Not by any other standard. But in Orange County, I'm poor. I know. I should be shot for my insolence. How dare I even think to ask for a driveway when I prequality for nothing more than a cardboard box. Yes, I will make the world a better place by throwing myself at the human-eating coyotes".

All I can say is that everyone searches for something...I crave stability like Nicole Richie craves a doughnut...living in California, it seems like my head is barely above the water at all times. So really, I'm not trying to be petty...we all have different things we need in life (love, happines, whatever)...I need stability like a mofo.

/random thoughts

Blog In Love

Valentine's Day.

I
love
Valentine's
Day.

It's second only to Hallowe'en. I support the holidays that center around sugary delight.

And it's not because I'm in a relationship. My best Valentine's day EVER was when my friend Christine knew that it was my first Valentine's Day single so she brought me a carnation to school. It was the most thoughtful gift.

General thoughts on love...

1. Your heart IS capable of falling in love. Again. And Again. And Again. Each time is different. And what is love to you at that point in time is pure sincere love.
How I felt for my first boyfriend in highschool is nothing for how I feel for my husband (even though I was with the boyfriend longer than when I with Kraig when i married him)...but at the time, for my 15 year old mentality...that to me was love.
And maybe how I'll feel about love when I'm 50 is different than how I feel about it today.

2. Falling in love is the most nauseating thing ever. You realize that someone has this pull on your heart...you can't just give them up...you get all giggly and silly and crap...but then when something goes wrong, your heart falls to the pit of your stomach...it's awful. Falling in love is truly awful.

3. Having someone fall OUT of love with you is gut wrenchingly brutal. I mean, obviously it's brutal, but not too many people have been in love but have had the object of their affections fall out of love with them (usually it generally happens at the same time). It rips you to pieces inside, like someone is killing you slowly.

4. BEING in love...and the realization that someone is in love with you too...is the most fabulous wonderful feeling on earth. Okay not the MOST fabulous, but it's up there.

started this a few days ago, continuing now...

5. It's amazing how "history" is often translated to love. You could be with someone for 10 years...you could be with soemone else for 1 year...and for some reason, the feelings you have for the 1 year person are harder to justify than the person of 10 years even if you never ever felt that same passion or emotion.

One guy I dated for 4 years...it was just ASSUMED we'd stay together and get married and all that. I mean, we had no REASON to not be together...we loved each other, but he flat out told me when we started dating that if we didn't end up together for the long haul he was going to be pissed for having wasted all his time. Well...I guess I wasted his time 'cause I didn't love him enough to stay in Ottawa after I got a job offer in Cali....

6. I have a 3 month rule when it comes to love. In my mind, you just can't be in love within the first 3 months. You can be obsessed, infatuated, have passion...but you can't be in love. The first 3 months EVERYTHING is fabulous and great...but after 3 months you start to show your true self to each other, and if you STILL like the person after that...then it might be love.
I'm even willing to say this knowing the first week I met Kraig that I was going to marry him.
But...
This rule kind of goes out the window if you already knew the person previous to dating. My 3 month rule applies to when you meet and almost instantly become bf/gf.

7. In my opinion, it would be rough being the first one to say "I love you". I've never, ever had to do that...(I'm pretty sure Kraig said it drunk a week later at Tony's bbq....)...isn't it just soooo much easier when the other person says it first so that there's zero fear of rejection?

8. I know, I know, I know...Valentine's Day is really a holiday to cater to women. It's sexist. It's horrible. I know. But you don't need to go as all out as you think. Heck, you can skip the flowers even...get a single rose if you want (we're not retarded, we know the markup around Vday is astronimical...we'd rather you save the cash and surprise us on some other random day)...just a heart shaped box of chocolates, a sweet card (extra bonus points if you made it yourself a la Nick Lachey)...make us dinner (i.e. get takeout if you have to, put them in nice serving plates to make it LOOK like you cooked)...we are such suckers for anything that makes it look like you put in efforts.

Extra points if you put rose petals on the bed with pretty candles (unless it's the chick's bed...not all women are okay with roses staining their sheets.)...don't forget the music!

Point is: no need to go out for a crazy hard-to-get reservation dinner, no need to blow $100 on $9.99 roses, no need to go all out crazy...but anything cheesy will go a long, long, LONG way.

9. The majority of us (99.999999999999999999999%) will never be a part of that disgustingly cute adorable "perfect" couple that makes everyone sick. Especially after marriage. To answer someone's question...YES, it is perfectly normal to want to rip your mate's head off. Great love isn't just where you sometimes fight...yeah, sometimes you're going to wish you had a sledgehammer in one hand, a garbage bag in the other.

10. Mmm. chocolates. Heart shaped boxed chocolates. With hazelnuts. Mmmgughgngngngng.

11. From what I've heard of with all the online dating things out there (which i am SOO pro....if that was prevalent last time I was single, I would have been all OVER that stuff!!), it seems like eHarmony.com has the most credibility. It seems like Match.com is the most "iffy"...although granted, more people use Match so you're going to get a higher concentration of psychos out there too.

12. My GENERALIZED (note the word generalized!) definition of love is whether you'd be willing to give a kidney to that person.
Now Nicole D did raise an interesting point that really that's more a sign of commitment vs. love...because if you have alove of say 3 months that you'll never see again, that's different.
I mulled it over...
And i stand by my statement. For the following reasons:
a) a kidney is the one organ you've got that you can't regenerate (as opposed to bone marrow) and you can give one away without dying (unlike a heart) BUT it is still a major major sacrifice and you ARE taking a massive risk. (My boss only has one kidney...trust me, you need both. One isn't there for backup).

b) It's irrelevant whether I'll ever see them again. I love my girlfriends...if Nicole D was moving to Utah, with no form of communication, but needed a kidney...I'd give her one. Regardless if i ever saw her again. 'Cause i figure, when you love someone (friends, boyfriend, whoever), you truly care about their welfare, regardless of where you'll fit in down the road.

c) I'm not saying this is the all-encompassing definition...it's just a good rule of thumb when in doubt I figure. There's not too many people I'd give a kidney to. Heck, after I have kids, my list will narrow down even more ('cause my other kidney is reserved for kids first over anyone).

d) i still reserve the right to nag forever about how the kidney recipient treats my kidney. I"m not saying love is giving it away blindly. I OWN that mother effing kidney forever. You drink too many shots and i'll punch you in the face. ANd maybe take my kidney back. I love you enough to take that risk...you can love me enough to put down the beer.

13. There are no kisses better than kisses from your cat. I don't care if he's Ryan Reynolds. Tom Welling. Insert your own hot celebrity. The kisses and love from a cat is always ALWAYS the best.

14. As much as movies will tell us otherwise, no one's gonna save your ass. Maybe this is more anti-love, but I figure it's just more realistic. I grew up a HUGE Disney fan...fairytale fan...nothing's hotter than a knight on a spiffy horse. No one is going to save you from yourself. They might help you, inspire you, but in the end, YOU gotta save yourself.
Not to say that chivalry is dead...when it comes to drunken bar fights, yeah I still think dudes will step in for a lady (moreso I think to demonstrate the size of their balls than to be chivalrous).

I'm just saying...love isn't about someone saving you...although I have to admit, deep down, I probably still believe that it is.

15. Funny how the things that weren't romantic at one time become the most heart warming stories later. When Kraig proposed, the whole story made for more wallowing than anything else (I was positive he was dumping me), and I felt stupid at the time telling people about the proposal. NOW...I"m so glad it happened the way it did, because if he had done the typical "Stroll along in the park got on one knee flashed a ring", I don't think my heart would race as much as when I think of the actual story. It was perfect, even if I didn't realize it at the time.

16. What happens to two people who love each other but for some reason but even after a long while haven't said to each other? (Yeah some of you know who i'm talking about). This isn't so much a thought as much as a question...it's a balance in the force. If boy loves girl...and girl loves boy....what happens when it remains unspoken? Is that like the elephant in the room no one wants to mention? But a GOOD elephant? Isn't there some cosmic force out of whack when two people who love each other don't ACKNOWLEDGE it to each other?!

17. Although, sometimes, it just isn't good to let that stuff be known...ladies, NEVER tell a guy "I love you" within the first week. More importantly, the first NIGHT. If you ever say it to a guy and he instantly has a look of Deer in Headlights...say "ha ha, JUST KIDDING...I'm not some psycho stalker, don't worry".

18. Yes, it is possible to love two people at once. Three people...you might not be discriminatory enough with your emotions. But two...it happens. It sucks, but it happens. (Well if you're one of the two that the other person loves anyway). All that crap you see on soap operas where someone can't choose between two? It goes back to how your heart is capable of loving more than one person in your lifetime...you just love each one differently.

19. One of my favorite passages about love and time:
What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Gets me choked up every time.

So for February i'm going to countdown 14 Love Songs Till Valentine's Day.
Until then...

The song of the day is Shake That by Eminem...seriously SUCH a great song. BLows my mind. My mind...is blown.

Now shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me

Yep. Pure poetry.

From ew.com:

Would the trouble-mongerer from season 1 really be conducting fake college interviews with his friends or acting like Seth's foray into the herb was a doomed deal? I figured the homeboy from Chino would have smelled that stash right away and asked for a bong hit.

That's exactly what I've been saying all along!

And when the commercial says everything that's been leading up this season will be taken care of in (insert booming voiceover) THE LAST FIVE MINUTE...YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED...

I'll be disappointed if Johnny doesn't fall off that effing cliff. We'll all be. The only other way I won't be disappointed is if Taylor sneaks into Seth's room and shows him a rockin' good time (hey, I love Summer...but Taylor is REALLY growing on me).
Johnny is just way to mopey and skinny...like the poor man's Oliver. Poor meaning he goes to public school in Newport Beach.

Vday: Romantic Toast

Still in honor of countdown to Vday....

I agree with Lisa Gastineau....

The most fantastic toast you can make to your woman:

"To ((so and soo))...the most beautiful woman I've ever met"

Pure fantabulism (i.e. fantabulous in noun format)....

You wouldn't believe the losers they're trying to pass off as men here

OMG this is officially the funniest ((bleep)) I've seen in a long, looong time. THIS is a serious time killer, but it's so fantastic it's blowing my mind.

Mind is blown. Still being blown. The blowing is out of control.

Alien Loves Predator...the episode where Alien wants to "hit it" with Predator's girl...

I'm CRYING at the part where he says "Binary?"

Quick love thought

Okay before people think i'm some whore, this is my "note to self...make a blog entry about LOVE"...

...in the spirit of upcoming Valentine's Day and all.

I figure, I'm married now...I can talk of whore-ish subjects and it's all good...'cause it's not like I'm going OUT and doing this crap with random folks. It's observations from the sidelines if you will...

(I'd write the LOVE post now but it's midnight and I gotta hose off from the gym and get some sleeeeeeeeeeeep)

Holy mother of pearl....

Can mother nature PLEASE
please
please
Cut us women a break?

I'm SOOO good about my skin. I slather everything and anything on. I have a HUGE hat that i wear to the beach. I try to keep my neck high to avoid excessive neck wrinkling when i'm old. I have little gloves that i put on at nighta fter I put on moisturizer...

I even use Mederma (that stuff ain't cheap!) the minute i have a scar...

I frickin' have stretch marks on my back.

MY BACK.

Who the hell gets them there?! I'm not a bodybuilder...although I did once have a fantastically buff back once upon a time...

I thought they were creases from my jeans or shirt...ohhh no...stretch marks.

I have stretch marks already on my frickin' ASS (I know, how attractive, i'm a sexy bitch!) and ONE that i've had on my stomach since i was in high school...but my BACK?!

Well there goes my career goal of being a bikini model....

Sex with Sue

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Effing funny

This cracked me up:

agreed about the number of times thing. uh one come equals one come.

Exactly. You can't start...stop....start...stop...and then call that a few times. # times of sex is equal to the number of times the dude came.

The ONLY time it can be bypassed is if you're already on like round 4 and you know the dude is tapped dry and he's been pounding away for an hour.

Dang i needed a good laugh today. That hit the spot.

10 Things

Yes yes i know i was a biotch to my mom, I apologized...i don't want everyone to rip me a new one...

From Esquire, 10 Things You Don't Know About Women (by Sanaa Lathan):

1. Guys, stop dousing yourselves with fragrance. If a man is swimming in cologne, chances are he's drowing out all of his better qualities.

2. Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as they should be holding a cane or following a dog.
SOOO true. I don't care if it's day or night. I can't STAND it when guys wear sunglasses indoors. What, fluorescent lighting is too much for you? Give me a frickin' break.

3. I know it's 2006, and believe me when I say that a woman can more than stando n her own. Nevertheless, we still love it when, every so often, yout ake control. Without stepping on our toes.
Once again, SOOOO true. Maybe I'm old skool. I don't know. It's just fantastic when a guy takes charge of things...whether it's the bills or figuring out what 's going on for dinner. Make a decision, and let's go for it. End of discussion.

4. Don't go runningi n fear or in search of the fire extinguisher every time we start crying. Sometimes tears are a good thing. Stick around for the end result.
So, so true...everyone thinks out loud, sometimes when we do that we end up crying...it's not a BAD thing...it's just we gotta let stuff out in the form of liquid from our eyes....but it's all good after that.

5. We do have a sixth sense. Women, like Santa Claus, know when you've been bad or good. So you know what to do...for goodness' sake.
Like i've said before....regardless if there's evidence...if you get that butterfly nauseous feeling in your stomach....go with it. Because you're probably right.

6. Women can stomach more than you think. We've seen Scarface and all 3 Godfathers just as many times as you have. And our Tony Montana impressionjust might be better than yours, even if we don't do it as often.
Well actually I don't know about that. It's not that they're not great movies...they're just...old. And for the most part, odds are, i'm gonna watch one of my rentals from netflix. And yeah i LOVE Clueless and Running Man, but those are obscure and I woudln't expect anyone else to see them.
Here's the thing with the Godfather movies...
I've seen the INTRO to all of them...but...last time I had a chance to see them my ex bf wanted to do a marathon Godfather session...well i promptly fell asleep after the beginning of the first one...and only woke up when he'd get up to change the DVD (VHS at the time? Probably)...and then I'd fall right back asleep. I'm a disgrace to womankind.

7. Our favorite foreplay technique? Mental stimulation. The kind where we're mentally tickled to the point of laughter.
Uh yeah I don't know about that last one, but kinda...yeah. Basically....make us "dig" you mentally...whether by humor or otherwise....through the grey matter...and we'll be putty in the hand.


8. Contrary to popular belief, longer in bed is not necessarily better. I'm not talking about size here fellas (more on that later); i'm talking about duration. Let's just say that if you're pushing an hour (no pun intended) we'll be likely to be stifling a yawn.
OH SO TRUE! Every chick will agree....10 mins of mind blowing action is better than an hour of random pumping...and for the most part, after an hour, it's hard to make it mind blowing so don't flatter yourself into thinking that you're THAT good if you're going for hours...

9. Size doesn't matter that much. Big can be less pleasurable than average. But no pinkies. (Think about the fingers on your hands).
true dat....

10. When doubt has crept in and we're driving you to insanity, remember this: According to the Bible, "Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing"
What if you find someone ELSE'S wife?

Yes yes I know....

Yes
I know
I was a biotch to my mom
I'll apologize to her...I was just having a MASSIVE bad week last week and I wasn't in the mood to deal with the thought of visiting my sister in law and having her dismiss me yet again like she did last time, have her flat out insult my parents like that, and see my parents get upset...they have too much faith that things will get better.

On another note, don't think that I've forgotten about that gorgeous GORGEOUS gorgeous bracelet. I'm supposed to come into some money in November...I can't post the reason why on the blog but between now and November is going to be pure hell. And I was going to put that money towards property taxes (if I don't have it all saved up by then), however now I'm thinking I frickin' should splurge and take half of it and get the bracelet. It's STUNNING. My wrist isn't even worthy of it.

Okay so we all know that I would never do something as "fun" as take a huge chunk of cash and buy something as frivolous as jewelry...but a girl can dream, right?

The song of the day is No Diggity by Blackstreet
I like the way you work it
Trumped tight, all day, every day
You're blowing my mind, maybe in time
Baby, I can get you in my ride

One guy I dated loooved that song and said that was "our" song...umm yeah not my first choice for an "our" song considering it's by Blackstreet and he was an uber white french catholic kid who drove his mom's Tercel....

One last thought...

I'm sure the picture links are eventually gonna not work, so if there's no image...well...suck it. I'm too lazy to find ones from sites that can handle lots of bandwidth or linking.

You know when people tell you that you remind them of a celebrity...In my life I've been told that I remind people of:
Sophia Coppola


Blossom chick


Eva Longoria
Only because of how my hair looked once Henry cut it last year


And now add to the list:
That Pussycat Dolls Chick


Well at least the references aren't getting uglier and uglier...

Personally, I thought I always looked like Seinfeld's ex gf, Shoshanna Lonstein (just umm...without those MASSIVE boobs)...'cause we both have big noses...

DVD Review: The Notebook

Title: The Notebook
Starring: Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams

Subtitle: That movie that made every teenage girl cry in hopes of true love and made every teenage boyfriend want to beat himself with a pitchfork.

Review:
This movie...
is...

JACKED UP.

Don't get me started on the bad editing.

The ending is just effed up. I mean, seriously...jacked up.

And what is up with Rachel McAdams having a southern accent one minute, a California (okay, she's Canadian, same diff) accent the next?

Guys, if you're forced to watch this movie with your woman, skip all the DVD extras except for the "alternative lovemaking scene"...the scene that made it into the movie was short and sweet. The scene they cut out? Total soft porn.

Which leads me to think that if I had the right editing software, I could put together a FABULOUS montage of all the girl reaching orgasm scenes...starting with When Harry Met Sally, plus The Notebook, plus the part where that dude goes down on Tara Reid in American Pie...someone's gotta do something proactive for womankind.

IM with my mom....

I was in a bad, bad frickin' mood this week...


My_mom: r u there knock knock?
ME: i'm here
My_mom: whats up
My_mom: +18 in l.a. nice


My_mom: are u wearing a jacket these days?
ME: sometimes
My_mom: how is marma doing these days?
My_mom: stashy pooh still a bad boy? r they still fighting?


ME: they're doing fine
My_mom: any booboo by marma again?
My_mom: miss her, wish i could hug her
ME: no she's been good
My_mom: whats new

My_mom: how is kraig doing?
My_mom: busy with his new game?
ME: yup. everyone's fine
My_mom: good

My_mom: what are u doing this weekend?
My_mom: r u still going to that bagel place?
ME: sometimes
My_mom: did u manage to tidy up the spare bedroom yet?
ME: i'm working on it

My_mom: i might be coming middle of march to visit tarik, dad will come down too at some point, he still has a return ticket from san jose to ottawa, because last year his work sent him to victoria
My_mom: have u got room for us for a few days?
ME: realistically....probably not...not by March that's for sure. There's just nowhere to put all the stuff that's in the spare bedroom.

ME: i mean, i'll be more than fine paying for a hotel or something, i'm just saying that our place doesn't have room for people to stay overnight unless it's just one person on the couch
My_mom: i told u i would sort out your magazines and nicely put them into boxes for u, last year, i had so much time, all i did was sit around
My_mom: it wouldnt look good if we dont see u as well

ME: They ARE In boxes, and i did throw out a whole bunch. All my magazines are packed up.
My_mom: unless and kraig come up to tarik
My_mom: u and kraig i ment
ME: I'm not saying we won't see you, dont' you read what i write?!! I said that you just can't spend the night, i'm fine with paying for a hotel for you guys, there's just no place to SLEEP.

My_mom: i read what u said, and we can pay ourselves for a hotel
My_mom: but it looks kind of strange parents have to stay in a hotel
My_mom: can u come up to tariks?

ME: That's NOT strange, i hate to burst your bubble but PLENTY of people do it, especially when their kids live in small places with no room.
My_mom: well u do have room, just that u still have to sort yourself out
My_mom: i was hoping we could stay with u people, sit on your patio, walk around a bit there to give dad a better idea of your surrounding and your home

ME: That's what i said, i said that by march there won't be room.
My_mom: can u and kraig come up to tariks?
ME: it depends when
ME: and i don't think ((sis in law)) would like us staying there, so where would we sleep.
My_mom: with tarik of course
My_mom: would be a good start with ((sis in law)) and all of u
My_mom: thought of coming to tarik middle of march or end of march
ME: ok


My_mom: i will stay 4 weeks or so, i will come down first, dad will follow sometimes inbtw
ME: ok
My_mom: he will stay about 2 weeks
My_mom: thats when i thought to come down over the weekend, i was hoping u have sorted out your bedroom by then

ME: There's nowhere for now to put the things that i have in there.
My_mom: k
ME: but like i said, i have no problems payi ng for a hotel or something so that you guys can come visit
My_mom: where is the nearest hotel?
ME: they're everywhere

My_mom: the idea is to visit u, your home etc., i talk to dad, but maybe we scrap the idea coming down this time and u come up with kraig
My_mom: instead
My_mom: i mean tarik has room

My_mom: i guess smaller the home, the more one has to make space work for u
ME: ok
My_mom: and ((sis in law)) just has to get used to it, i want my family to come together, when we come down for a visit, its not often
ME: ok

My_mom: once a year we can all grin and bare it
ME: ok
My_mom: for now plans are just forming, but its time to start
My_mom: thinking about it


ME: ok
My_mom: pitty i cant hug marma then sigh
My_mom: how much is a hotel room?
My_mom: cheap is good enough for us, we are cheap
My_mom: hehe

ME: i dont' know, i've never had to book a hotel room near my house.
My_mom: dads laptop sucks, but how can i complain, free internet
ME: free is good
My_mom: there are no hotels in walking distance?

ME: um no, i would never buy a house that's near a hotel. is there a hotel in walking distance of yuor house?!
My_mom: no hehe


My_mom: but near other houses there is
My_mom: dont think there's a hotel in orleans
My_mom: the are all around st. laurent, montreal road
My_mom: find out about how much a room would cost

My_mom: i was hoping so much that dad could see your home
My_mom: still maybe this time to have u and kraig come up over a weekend when dad is here, would be a good idea
My_mom: anyway, c u
ME: bye

Ugh killing time

Yeah killing time. So bored right now. Suck it.

Q: WHOSE BED DID YOU SLEEP IN LAST NIGHT?
A: Mine.

Q: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A: Cream-colored sweater with baby blue/black print on sleeves

Q: WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR UNDIES RIGHT NOW?
A: baby blue

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
A: two cats and a husband (ha ha...okay nm)

Q: MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
A: effing Brokeback....

Q: NAME 3 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES?
A: Lipsmackers...keys...cell phone

Q: WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEETS?
A: i think the blue ones are on right now

Q: HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
A: i think i've got a few bucks in my wallet

Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT?
A: sleeping

Q: WHATS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE CHICKEN?
A: the thigh baby. the thigh.

Q: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TOWN/CITY?
A: i dunno...i miss downtown Ottawa in the summer...Monteal's kinda cool...no idea.

Q: HOW DID YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP END?
A: define relationship...actual "boyfriend/girlfriend" status? it ended on the phone with both of us pretty bitter.

Q: I CAN'T WAIT TO?
A: go to Adam's house to watch the OC

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR DAD?
A: August 2005

Q: Who got you to join MySpace?
A: i have no idea...Nicole T? Marlene and Marcella were on it early on....hmm...

Q: Is Tom on your friends list?
A: No but i get his stupid updates

Q: What's the last thing you said out loud?
A: "See ya woman!"

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: A tube of hand lotion on my desk with ALOT of papers.

Q: What is the last thing/person you spent over $100?
A: I sent Nic some dough (back dues on my gym membership!)

Q: Who's your favorite villain?
A: Malificent

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: Thermal underwear from Nic D for skiing along with Trish's ski jacket/pants

Q: What web site(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/
animal rescue site
Early Edition
craigslist
And then the usual news, bank accounts, etc....

Q: If you could drink anything right now what would it be?
A: Water...i'm thirsty.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: my back

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
A: crap....i think the last time i took a cab was way back when trish had that girls' night out...that doesn't sound right though.

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: how very british of you....yes.

Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
A: Tazo Passion Tea

Q: What were your New Years resolutions?
A: we all know what they were.

Q: Admit something about yourself.
A: No matter what i look like on the outside, my brain is always working in overdrive processing, overthinking, re-hashing, tabulating, and remembering everything and anything.

Nothing is more fabulous...

...than The OC.

...a long night of candle wax, tube socks, and the new Fiona Apple CD

Sounds like everything you need for a wild night. Go Taylor.

Best video ever

The people who made this David Hasselhoff video must have been smoking the good stuff...it's worth it to watch the whole thing, it just gets worse and worse:

Hooked On A Feeling

New expression

You saw it here folks...

New expression that was formed in a discussion after a Society for Technical Communications meeting in Carrie's car...

"...after he got all brokeback on his ass...."...

That's my expression for 2006...

Okay it's not elegant and refined, but it's worth it.

I don't know how to quit you

I swear Carrie should be a comedian....

After an hour into Brokeback Mountain...and nothing but people herding sheep around (gasp, two herds of sheep merged? Whatever will they do?), Carrie whispers "They better get to the gay sex soon!"...

Not something I have ever heard in my entire life...still makes me laugh a day later...

And I listen for the whisper of your sweet insanity

And i remember you dancing that night, all the light of the world in your eyes. And we thought it would never end, never end.

I'll get off my ass and post the source when I can find it...

What I've Learned In 28 Years

geezus just re-read this hours later, holy typos batman

So the whole deal with life is that you make mistakes, you learn from them, you move on. Or hopefully the people around you will make the mistake and you can watch and learn from afar.

Here's my List of Things I've Learned In My 28 Years of Wisdom:

1. If you find yourself looking for work...and you get an offer (with more dough)...and then your current company begs you to stay by matching or offering a bit more cash than the other job...DON'T STAY. It's taken me a few times of this mistake, but if you were looking for another job (not for financial reasons) then throwing some more cash at the situation won't make you happier.

You're better off with the fear of the unknown potential unhappiness than the existing one, and don't let your ego get swayed by this ("ooohhh they like me enough to beg me to stay with more money!").

2. If you get some sort of sign-on or relocation bonus when you start a job, do NOT lock yourself into a long payback time. When i moved to California i got a good chunk of cash (which then got taxed 50%...d'oh!) but i had to stay for 1 year or pay it back.
Ohhh...that hurt.
Bad.
Because turns out, i hated that job, but I couldn't quit. At the 6-month mark, I bawled the entire way to work...I couldn't believe I was only at the halfway mark. Never, ever again. 3 months...sure....12 months...it better pay off a home mortgage to make it worth me suffering for another year.

3. When you're SO drunk that you're borderline ready to puke...DON'T drink water. Drink it WHILE you're getting drunk...drink it the morning after....but at the puking stage, water is bad bad bad.

4. Contrary to what we teenage girls think...a boy will adore you like mad UNTIL you give in and have sex with him. Having sex with him will NOT make him like you more. So while you think "oooohhh if i sleep with him, he'll like me!" it's more like "heck yeah I got this dog panting and I'm gonna keep him that way". Sure boyfriends stick around and all that...but the devotion and attention is SO much higher when you're NOT having sex with them.
(Does not apply once you hit your 20s).

5. A great pair of shoes IS worth the pain of breaking them in. Bonus points if they make your legs look fabulous.

6. Anyone who says money can't buy happiness is already rich and doesn't know wtf they're talking about.
Put it this way...
If i had money, then my basic needs are per Maslow are met (food, clothing, security)...so maybe i'm not HAPPY...but I'm not physically hurting from the elements or hunger.
If i didn't have money and i didn't have food, clothng, shelter...guaranteed i'm gonna be unhappy. Unless i'm sniffing empty chip bags that i found in the dumpster...that I call home.

7. You can be the hardest worker on the planet, but if no one knows it then you're useless in their eyes. Even more useless than the actual useless person who at least fakes it. Basically...regardless if you're a lazy slacker or keener-top-notch employee, all that matters is that you make sure people THINK you're valuable and hard working.

8. Don't trust a guy who says his car is in the shop (or whatever reason) and can't pick you up for your first date. Amazingly I've dated TONS of guys who didn't have cars and i had to pick them up. Most of them were in California. I think one of the reasons I fell for Kraig was because hea ctually showed up with his own effing car. It's fishy when a guy talks about his wheels but can't produce.

9. If you're dating/seeing a guy...and even though he hasn't done anything to break your trust and he's perfect in every other way...if you have that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach...where you get bad butterflies or nausea when you can't get a hold of him or he goes out for a night...ditch him. It's illogical, it's unfounded...but in my experience, 100% of the times I had those butterflies it turns out in the end I was right to be nervous.

10. The following things ARE worth paying extra for (most of the time):
- razors (mach3 baby!)
- a brand new hairstyle
- manicure/pedicure
- foundation
- sunblock
- jeans
- the perfect cocktail dress
- the perfect interview outfit
- hair straightener
- conditioner
- nylons
- laundry detergent (Woolite for Darks is a miracle)
- popcorn (my mom taught me that one, don't ask)
- home or renter's insurance (replacement policy, not cash value!)
- sunglasses (yeah argue with me. i don't care. my polarized ray bans are the only things i'm terrified about losing when i think of my car getting stolen)
- soda....Diet Pepsi is NOT the same as Shasta!!

and most importantly

- TAMPONS!!! Only ONCE in my life have I gone with the store-brand and I swear, it's amazing my gonads still function. How do you screw up a cardboard tube with fluffy white stuff? Heck, since that experience I've been pro-Tampax Pearl...i know it sounds like a sham but that one is SO much more comfy than the regular tampax, but either is better than generic. Your nooks and crannies deserve the best!

11. The following things you can totally get away by going cheap on:
- uber trendy shoes
- uber trendy anything
- quick hair trim
- lipgloss
- bottled water. I know, Aquafina isn't spring water...but eff it. Water is water. If you're thirsty and you've got a buck, don't feel bad 'cause you can't buy Evian...get the Deja Bleu. In 48 hours it won't make a diff anyway.
- anything for the beach. It's gonna get covered in sunblock, sand, dirt, weird green stuff.
- styling products. You can argue with me, but this is MY list...pomade is all the same in my books.
- liquid soap (okay but the stuff from Bath and Body works is pretyt nifty)
- gas....if your car is a regular joe shmoe car and the book SAYS you don't need the premium stuff...don't be an ass by filling your car with the expensive stuff.
- costume jewelry...the stuff i get complimented on the most comes from cheapie teenie stores like Forever21
- toothpaste. Avoid Aim if you can...but the uber expensive toothpastes always taste like ass. Go midgrade...anywhere from AquaFresh to Colgate Total.

12. Humans are capable of falling in love...numerous times. There's not a cap. Emotions don't have a limit to the number of times they can do something. This whole falling in love once for a lifetime thing was written by storybook authors...if you think you've lost the great love of your life...well...you'll be surprised when the next one comes along. Each love is different, that's all.

13. The great irony of obsessive compulsiveness is that it keeps those of us with bizarre routines somewhat sane. (okay i'm like a smidgen obsessive compulsive, but it's there!)

14. This one falls under the "geezus were you an idiot" category: don't keep sleeping with a guy who keeps talking about his ex-girlfriend the supermodel after sex. It's one thing to joke "yeah my last gf was a supermodel...but she was SO lazy...you were fantastic! no more models for me!"...it's another to ALWAYS talk about your super hot model ex gf for no apparent reason....

I don't care how horny you are...some creeps just aren't worth it.

15. Never ever EVER feel bad for buying yourself something that stereotypically a guy would buy. You probably have better taste than he would anyway.

A'ight, end babbling....

Why being a grownup sucks, part n+1

Tonight is my stupid pee test for the life insurance...and i'm not worried about me, i'm worried about Kraig...insuring him costs more anyway, so it's bad enough...

I want an In N Out burger so effing bad.

And how did Nicole lose all this weight for her disability medical test...i've gained 4lbs from all the oatmeal i've been consuming....

On a few CelebReality notes....

Flavor Of Love
I swear, I love Flava Flav! He gave some great advice to "Pumkin"...if someone doesn't pay your bills, isn't giving you a job, if they're opinion doesn't impact your welfare...THEIR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER. So very true, and so much better than most advice which is to not care what anyone thinks. 'Cause i don't care if my neighbor thinks i'm a crack whore, but I do care if my boss thinks that.

I love that they picked the absolute bottom-feeders of society to be on that show. Secretly, I'm rooting for Goldie.

Celebrity Fit Club
I love watching celebrities fall off their high horses. Especially when it's drug-related. And they claim it's Benadryl.
And I also love when they climb back up....go Young MC!

Dash dash dash....

Can i please please please have a weekend where I'm no longer a grownup?!?!?!?!

It's dare...

How effing awesome is this?
FREE OF THE FCC: Howard Stern making his uncensored debut on Sirius Satellite Radio Monday and denying rumors that he is married to girlfriend Beth Ostrosky. Stern also introduced George Takei as his new on-air announcer.


Anyone who listens to Howard knows about George Takei....dang now i REALLY gotta get me some Sirius...Adam Corolla is way too annoying in the morning. About time Georgey-boy got paid for the contributions he makes to Howard's show.

Ugh will add more later.

Effing amazing

How amazing is this:


A cordless iron....

I'm in heaven!

Blog me a river

Interesting something or other today...

Kraig commented that I'm more attractive/better-looking now than when we first started dating.

Which of course I had to pry and get more info on...because if I'm told I'm doing something right, I need to know specifics!!

Gasp could the extra cellulite be a turn-on?

Are the extra wrinkles more endearing?

So he said I was just more sexy (let it be known, apparently I wasn't sexy when I was 23 because I was clearly the "kid sister" type)...and when I REALLY beat him down for a response, he said:

I dunno, I think it's the hair

IT'S ALWAYS THE HAIR!!!

I swear, Henry (Henri?) is way gifted...whatever he did to my hair, it's wonderful. Not that *I* think it's all that great...personally I'm desperate to grow out the bangs and I haven't gotten used to the half hour of sleep that I no longer get in order to style it...

...but a few weeks ago a complete stranger even stopped to tell me that my hair was great.

Henry, Mr. "Drama! So who's your victim?", is fantabulous.

It appears to be that we're having a blow-drying party at my place...where he's going to finally show us how the ((bleep)) to style our hair...because we're always griping that we don't know what we're doing. Yee haw.

On another note...doesn't it surprise you when you find out the impression people first had of you?

Way back during my "homeless" stage, and I was living with my brother's friends (and they were trying to find me a boatload of Muslim guys to marry), I told the wife that the way I figure it, my brother is responsible for my mom and I'm responsible for my husband's mother. I'll look after my mom of course if necessary, but I do view it as my job to look after my (future) mother-in-law...

She was floored that I was so "traditional" like that...I guess she thought I was some modern chick who MIGHT look after her own parents, but that's it.

Recently a coworker told me that they thought I was pretty conservative when I started at my company and go figure, I'm actually not some prude uptight conservative chick. Apparently living in the OC is a qualification for being conservative...

...I live in the OC 'cause that's where my husband works...I had no idea what the OC even was when I moved here, it could have been Compton for all I knew...

It's just funny the impression people can get of someone, and sometimes they seem so shocked when they learn otherwise.

The song of the day is Heard Em Say by Kanye West
Featuring Adam Levine...
Cuz every words we swore we got more far away, and nothing's ever promised tommorow today,
And nothing lasts forever but be honest babe, it helps but it may be the only way

Being a Grown Up Sucks, Part N

Why being a grownup sucks...Part n....

So FINALLY I got quotes for life insurance. Going with the investment-type so that we can borrow against it as opposed to just plain term (which maybe i'll get down the road to supplement,that's cheap)...

For me to be insured for $400K: it's $244 a month.
For Kraig to be insured for $400K: it's $345 a month.

$589 extra a month. And i'll pull that out of my ass I guess.

(Okay well since it's an investment-type i'm okay reducing the amount I put in my 401K...but still!!)

What's scary is that...what if that's nto enough? I mean, yeah for NOW it would be great, but with kids, cost of living, college, crap like that...i might look back and totally think it's not enough.

Being a grownup blows goats.

In fact, it blows ALL livestock.

I remember being a kid and wanting to be grownup SOOOO badly. Really no matter what age you are, you aspire to be...around 23. You're out of school...but you can still party, waste your money, and not worry about things like retirement, homebuying, credit scores.

Once this is done, and the legal stuff is squared away (ugh gotta call the lawyer to sit down and officially sign everything...but when i do, I'll be billed the other $750, and I'm not ready for THAT charge yet)...I'll be DONE.

DONE with insurance, legal, random CRAP. Take that Smart Couples Finish Rich.

Until of course, we have kids...which will then require me to do a whole boatload of reading and learning...It's like buying a new device. You gotta figure out how exactly it works. Childcare isn't my worry...it's pregnancy that terrifies me. Whyyyy is it 9 (well, really 10) months long?! That's long ass time to have to be an incubator. That's a long time to eat healthy, avoid caffeine, not drink, not stand in front of the microwave (okay well that last one is old skool).

Speaking of devices...it used to take like 6 hours to burn a CD. Now it can get done in a minute. It used to take forever to heat up a frozen dinner...now it takes minutes. Why hasn't anyone figured out how to streamline the pregnancy process?

My fear is that 9 months will be 9 months of FREAKING OUT. I'd rather have 1 month of serious freaking out. My kid's gonna come out with 2 heads from all the anxiety hormones it's gonna get.

So today's plan for elegance and refinement: to start saying my Please and Thank Yous...not "you're awesome!" when somene does something nice for me, but rather, "thank you, I appreciate it!"....

The song of the day is Check on It by Beyonce
If I let you get up on it, you gotta make a promise
That you gone put it on me, like no ones put it on me
Don't bore me, just show me, all men talk but don't please
I can be a tease, but I really wanna please you


DAMN that's a great song...I even sat through MTV's "Making The Video" 'cause i like it so much.

Bitching bitching bitching blog

The working man...woman...same diff.

So one of my major beefs is how a good chunk of the workforce has to work 8-5ish type hours.

But...if you're in the service sector...WHY would you not make sure your hours cater to the other office whores who work 8-5?

Like...dentists, doctors, etc? Okay i get that those people own their own practices, but they could sleep in and work like 11-7?!

Or even just...dry cleaners, whatever.

Really what I'm beefed over is...the gym.

Their classes. There's always ONE really early class...and then maybe one or two after normal work hours (and of course, those classes are packed). ALL of the others are during the day.

WTF.

Okay let's say a huge demographic for 24HF is say...stay at home moms. How many effing classes can they possibly offer to that group of people?! For ALL the stay at home moms, do you REALLY need boatloads of classes during the week? Can't they just use normal cardio machines?!

And then after work...there's like 1 or 2 classes. To cater to...the GAZILLION super fat office whores like the rest of us who sit around eating all day. Why can't they reduce the amount of classes during the day and offer more all the way to say 10pm at night? Dont' tell me there's not as many people working out at 9pm as at say 2pm...trust me, at 9pm there's a TON of people at the gym.

it makes NO sense to me. I mean, HELLO the whole point is that some 24HF are actually open 24 hours because SOME PEOPLE REALLY DO WORK OUT LATE. And i'm not saying offer a 2am class...just not that there needs to be like a thousand during regular business hours...

If you own a frickin' business...and you're in the service industry (dry cleaning, chiropractor, oil changes, whatever)...mother effer do yourself a favor and change your hours to cater to the rest of us! At least one day a week worst case.

Geezus.

Out came the rain and washed the blog out

Mother
Effer.

Holy torrential downpour batman!

It's my last day off work and I was like "okay gotta go to Target to pick up some stuff"...I was gonna let a little rain stop me...

Riigghtt....

Driving back the roads were flooded....I've driven through crazy rainstorms before, that's not a problem...i've driven through INSANE snowstorms where, in hindsight, I'm amazed i'm still alive let alone didn't drive my car over the side....

But i've NEVER driven my car through floods like this, where the flooding was up to the roof of my car. I was FREAKING out, plus at one point an SUV drove by me and it's one thing when you get a downpour of water on your windshield...it was BUCKETS after BUCKETS...and I was afraid that if I slowed down TOO much, my car would never pick up momentum again...

Anyway I know, I know, I sound like a whiney little Californian bitch at this point...but I'd like to thinkthat coming from somewhere with brutal snow, I know bad mother effing driving conditions...

Moral of the story?

Kraig needs to sell his mustang so I can get an SUV...that's the lesson learned!

Feelin' Squishy!

A pic from NYE....Heidi and I were "squishy"...those drinks were strong!


And go me....I won a drinking game...you try running, chugging a HUGE shot of Jose Cuervo, running back....had to swallow that sh*t after I ran back, I almost died...it was nasty!

Good times.

End of 2005

Okay so nothing meaningful to say.

Was gonna do a big summary of all the pop culture stuff from the past year....

...but I'm tired, I'm gonna nap, i'm gonna go to the gym, gonna pluck my eyebrows, gonna shower, gonna doll myself up for tonight...

And honestly, this was SUCH an uneventful year. At least 2 years ago, I got married.
Last year I bought a house, had to put one cat to sleep, got a kitten...
This year...other than my mom's WAY overstayed visit...it was a pretty vanilla year. Which I guess, if I look back on past years (no job, no place to live, etc)....that's probably a good thing.

So anyway...

Have a happy new year everyone! And remember...resolutions for 2006:
1. To be elegant and refined (i.e. to be a grownup finally!)
2. To be a better wife!