Okay so i found my planner (don't ask people, don't ask). So now I can get my head out of my ass and get my life back on track...i was in limbo 'cause I didn't know what the heck was going on with anything.
On another note, if i ever become rich, i'm gonna get myself a Vivienne Westwood knuckleduster. Granted i know they're probably illegal in California, but it's SO pretty and hey, a girl's gotta protect herself when she's rich and has designer labels everywhere okay who are we kidding...i could win a gazillion dollars and I"ll still shop at Target.
Last night I went for an impromtu bikini wax.
I haven't had one in 3 years. I used to get them somewhat regularly (well nto like monthly, but a few times a year)....Geezus there's a REASON that mother nature makes it so that women forget pain, like in childbirth...
I totally forgot how painful they are. Plus when you wax, you're supposed to put your hando n the spot RIGHT after the hair is ripped out, to help minimize the pain. Well the lady wasn't doing that, and i was YELPING so bloody loud, but I didn't want to tell her that it hurt 'cause I have this theory that if you tell the waxing people that it hurts, then won't go as "far" as they normally would, or do as good of a job because they feel they need to gety ou in and out with the least amount of pain.
Pain ist goot.
I didn't think I"d go back to her again, because there's this chick in Ladera Ranch that I like (but as i said, this was impromptu...i went to a salon right by work), but this lady was GOOD. She spent FOREVER with her itty bitty tweezers getting all perfect...damn, I could be a centerfold right now.
Yeah, TMI, whatever. For the HOUR of pain i suffered yesterday, damn right i'm going to tell the world about it. Lord help everyone whenever i get plastic surgery...i'm going to have graphic surgery pictures that i'll show everyone...i'll keep them in my wallet.
dash dash dash....
I came home last night, plopped myself in front of the TV and caught up on 2 days' worth of Bold and the Beautiful (I really need to start recording Days again, but i have this one spoiler site that tell everything written so beautifully, it's almost not worth it. Although Kathy Griffin will be on MOnday's episode). As much as we all know Eric shouldn't marry Bridget, her dress was SOOOO pretty....
And then, good ol' OC. And speaking of wedding dresses, I think we all felt really sorry for Julie Cooper...and she looked lovely as well. I do want to note, for anyone who might care: youcan't sleep on the beach. WEll okay I don't know about private beaches, but public beaches...yeah that's not happening. And i would SOOOO frame that school dean jackass who's clearly canoodling with Miss Perky School Chick.
Back on the subject of wedding dresses...
I wish I had more occasions to wear beautiful gowns. I wish i had the CASH for beautiful gowns. I still look at bridal magazines and think about the perfect wedding dress (who says that after you get married, you can't still look at bridal gowns?)...see, I didn't get the one I REALLY wanted...i mean, i love my dress and it was beautiful, but the dress I wanted was really form fitting and the beading was just gorgeous.
It's sad when the only time you get to dress up is your stupid company holiday party. And I didn't even GO this year. All i know is that for the January party, i want a white dress ("winter white"...ivory if i have to, black and white worst case)....
The song of the day children is Breathe On Me by Britney Spears. That's the song that plays in the commerical for her new perfume, Fantasy
Say what you want about Britney...but her last perfume, Curious, was a SUPER top seller. And the commercial for it (the full 1-2 minute one) was fantastic (Rex, from Days, was in it).
G*DDAMN there's cookies EVERYWHERE here at work, and i've already eaten 2 big ones and a bag of Famous Amos from the vending machine...i need to write a book How to barely function and be vitamin deficient by eating baked carbs all day.
Ending my blog now...sorry Nic, i know you said i had to make mine longer, I'll write more this afternoon.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Someone's laugh here at work is making me insane
Alright so i've got a bit of time to write.
Nicole, i'll let you blog about those 3 things that should never be said otherwise will cause BAD reactions...
(Wow, Ryan's gone to the bathroom THREE times since lunch...and it's not even 3pm)
ARGH tons of random emails and i can't get to my blog...must clear brain...okay.
So today's song of the day children: Hung Up by Madonna. I know it's not formally released but there's bits of it on the web, and it's fantastic. She's back to her clubbing roots...I love it. I didn't even buy her last album because i was so enraged by her crappiness with her latest endeavors (and i am the BIGGEST Madonna fan...). So this'll be good.
Yesterday I stayed late at work, but left somewhat early (i.e. before i got everything finished) because I had to get to Laguna Hills mall since Stefanie told me i had to check out the sale at The Limited. Sadly, on my way TO Limited, I walked through Macy's...and picked up 2 pairs of jeans, neither of which are really appropriate for work and I try to keep all my pants/jeans decent enough to wear to work (since that's where i spend all my bloody time).
After that I planned on going to the gym, but by the time i was done watching all my shows (B&TB, RW, LB), I was sooo zonked i fell asleep at 10pm, which is normally when I got to the gym.
Wow that was the most BORING blog entry ever. What can I say....I lead a way boring life.
I think i'm gonna go with both Nicoles to the fortune teller. I think that stuff is a bunch of bull (although i'm an extreme believer of astrology)...but I've been having so many bizarre dreams lately, and with everyone wondering if/when I'm going to get pregnant, I might as well just let a fortune teller tell me the deal.
It's better than the alternative (waiting to find out myself? Puh-lease. A chicken with it's head cut off would probably fare better in life.
On another note, I totally forgot (PLANNER! HELLO!) that one of my stupid IRAs is expiring in like 2 days, and i desperately need to make sure it doesn't roll over. In the past 4 years, $3K has got me barely any money...the rate on it is horrible (like seriously, i think 1.74%), at the time I rolled it over I didn't know anything about American financial things, and I did figure i'd move back to Canada...what did I know about 401Ks and IRAs?
I really do feel like what most people learn in the first 24 years of life, I had to learn asap the minute i moved here. It was like being born again. FICO scores, political jargon, SATs, geography...
Since I'm still learning, I pretty much feel like the biggest gimp living here.
On another note, I gotta go staple a bunch of stuff. Frickin' work....
Nicole, i'll let you blog about those 3 things that should never be said otherwise will cause BAD reactions...
(Wow, Ryan's gone to the bathroom THREE times since lunch...and it's not even 3pm)
ARGH tons of random emails and i can't get to my blog...must clear brain...okay.
So today's song of the day children: Hung Up by Madonna. I know it's not formally released but there's bits of it on the web, and it's fantastic. She's back to her clubbing roots...I love it. I didn't even buy her last album because i was so enraged by her crappiness with her latest endeavors (and i am the BIGGEST Madonna fan...). So this'll be good.
Yesterday I stayed late at work, but left somewhat early (i.e. before i got everything finished) because I had to get to Laguna Hills mall since Stefanie told me i had to check out the sale at The Limited. Sadly, on my way TO Limited, I walked through Macy's...and picked up 2 pairs of jeans, neither of which are really appropriate for work and I try to keep all my pants/jeans decent enough to wear to work (since that's where i spend all my bloody time).
After that I planned on going to the gym, but by the time i was done watching all my shows (B&TB, RW, LB), I was sooo zonked i fell asleep at 10pm, which is normally when I got to the gym.
Wow that was the most BORING blog entry ever. What can I say....I lead a way boring life.
I think i'm gonna go with both Nicoles to the fortune teller. I think that stuff is a bunch of bull (although i'm an extreme believer of astrology)...but I've been having so many bizarre dreams lately, and with everyone wondering if/when I'm going to get pregnant, I might as well just let a fortune teller tell me the deal.
It's better than the alternative (waiting to find out myself? Puh-lease. A chicken with it's head cut off would probably fare better in life.
On another note, I totally forgot (PLANNER! HELLO!) that one of my stupid IRAs is expiring in like 2 days, and i desperately need to make sure it doesn't roll over. In the past 4 years, $3K has got me barely any money...the rate on it is horrible (like seriously, i think 1.74%), at the time I rolled it over I didn't know anything about American financial things, and I did figure i'd move back to Canada...what did I know about 401Ks and IRAs?
I really do feel like what most people learn in the first 24 years of life, I had to learn asap the minute i moved here. It was like being born again. FICO scores, political jargon, SATs, geography...
Since I'm still learning, I pretty much feel like the biggest gimp living here.
On another note, I gotta go staple a bunch of stuff. Frickin' work....
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Rain rain go away, come back some other day
Today's random thought...what with the weather and all....
I MISS THUNDERSTORMS.
And only poeple from Canada or the East Coast can relate to this. If you're from California, I don't want to hear about the storm of 1998 or 1966 or whatever. Unless you were bruised from the hailstorm as you ran inside, you don't know storms. Unless you were sent home because the city was in an "ice storm watch", you don't know storms. Unless you've heard 3 hours straight of NONSTOP thundering AND lightening AND torrential downpour, you don't know storms. Unless you saw a cow electrocuted, you don't know storms.
okay i never saw that last one, but it could happen.
Heck, i have yet to really see a torrential downpour. I mean, people here gripe like crazy over nothing. Someone today was all "did you get caught in the downpour?"...i'm all "Dude...it's DRIZZLING"...
I have never feared that hail might damage my car...with baseball-sized dents.
You know what though? I miss it. SO bad. I used to stare out the window for hours, getting no sleep, when we had thunderstorms. It's like, man against nature type of thing. Or nature vs. nature, really, to see how much rain can fall before everything gets flooded and falls apart (and no, the mudlides this year don't count worth jack. That took MONTHS to do. Try a few hours of rain).
And honestly...there's nothing better than being horribly depressed, crying over some random issue, and watching a thunderstorm. It's the only time the outside is a reflection of how you feel on the inside, and you feel vindicated when it's over.
So i've decided the song of the day should be Time After Time (not the INOJ version, the original Cyndi Lauper one)...
the second hand unwinds...if you're lost and you can look and you will find me...time after time...if you fall i will catch you i'll be waiting....
Okay time to slap myself awake....
I MISS THUNDERSTORMS.
And only poeple from Canada or the East Coast can relate to this. If you're from California, I don't want to hear about the storm of 1998 or 1966 or whatever. Unless you were bruised from the hailstorm as you ran inside, you don't know storms. Unless you were sent home because the city was in an "ice storm watch", you don't know storms. Unless you've heard 3 hours straight of NONSTOP thundering AND lightening AND torrential downpour, you don't know storms. Unless you saw a cow electrocuted, you don't know storms.
okay i never saw that last one, but it could happen.
Heck, i have yet to really see a torrential downpour. I mean, people here gripe like crazy over nothing. Someone today was all "did you get caught in the downpour?"...i'm all "Dude...it's DRIZZLING"...
I have never feared that hail might damage my car...with baseball-sized dents.
You know what though? I miss it. SO bad. I used to stare out the window for hours, getting no sleep, when we had thunderstorms. It's like, man against nature type of thing. Or nature vs. nature, really, to see how much rain can fall before everything gets flooded and falls apart (and no, the mudlides this year don't count worth jack. That took MONTHS to do. Try a few hours of rain).
And honestly...there's nothing better than being horribly depressed, crying over some random issue, and watching a thunderstorm. It's the only time the outside is a reflection of how you feel on the inside, and you feel vindicated when it's over.
So i've decided the song of the day should be Time After Time (not the INOJ version, the original Cyndi Lauper one)...
the second hand unwinds...if you're lost and you can look and you will find me...time after time...if you fall i will catch you i'll be waiting....
Okay time to slap myself awake....
Only Tuesday?
Okay kids, no song of the day because my brain has like 5 running through them right now...think Def Leppard mixed with Pussycat Dolls.
I totally suck...after leaving Nicole's place last night I came home and realized that I hadn't DVRed Laguna Beach...ugh! ANd i KNOW it was a good episode! WTF!
On another note, i'm kind of surprised H&M dropped Kate Moss from their ads...you'd think all publicity is good publicity...i wonder if Rimmel will drop her too.
On another note, I got my property tax bill...but it's slightly less than last year, which makes no sense, because my home was assessed at a higher value....anyway, my bill is $5,261.50....shoot me now, please....
I totally suck...after leaving Nicole's place last night I came home and realized that I hadn't DVRed Laguna Beach...ugh! ANd i KNOW it was a good episode! WTF!
On another note, i'm kind of surprised H&M dropped Kate Moss from their ads...you'd think all publicity is good publicity...i wonder if Rimmel will drop her too.
On another note, I got my property tax bill...but it's slightly less than last year, which makes no sense, because my home was assessed at a higher value....anyway, my bill is $5,261.50....shoot me now, please....
Monday, September 19, 2005
HOLY FUCK
Excuse my language
But i just found something out about someone
And i'm so effing livid...
I swear i could punch her face in, snotty little beatch.
But i just found something out about someone
And i'm so effing livid...
I swear i could punch her face in, snotty little beatch.
IM with my mom
Today's IM conversation with my mom:
My_MOM : hi whats up, whats new, how are the cats
ME : cats are fine
My_MOM : what did u do over the weekend
My_MOM : a nasty looking hawk was in our backyard ready to bounce on a poor sparrow. the sparrows where all chirping loud worried. the hawk didnt come closer, cause i was sitting on the swing and the sparrow's huddled close the bushes above me
ME : egads
My_MOM : poor sparrows, luckily i sat there, so the hawk didnt come closer and flew off
My_MOM : hows work?
My_MOM : plenty to do? no chance getting led off?
ME : there's always that chance
My_MOM : ((yahoo IM unhappy face))
My_MOM : should always see who is looking for technical writers, so u know which company needs them
ME : okay
My_MOM : what did u do over the weekend
ME : it was kraig's birthday
My_MOM : oops and i forgot
My_MOM : thats just it, we leave to far away to remember those things
My_MOM : ((yahoo angry IM face, and then the "buzz" sound))
My_MOM : c u later
My_MOM : hi whats up, whats new, how are the cats
ME : cats are fine
My_MOM : what did u do over the weekend
My_MOM : a nasty looking hawk was in our backyard ready to bounce on a poor sparrow. the sparrows where all chirping loud worried. the hawk didnt come closer, cause i was sitting on the swing and the sparrow's huddled close the bushes above me
ME : egads
My_MOM : poor sparrows, luckily i sat there, so the hawk didnt come closer and flew off
My_MOM : hows work?
My_MOM : plenty to do? no chance getting led off?
ME : there's always that chance
My_MOM : ((yahoo IM unhappy face))
My_MOM : should always see who is looking for technical writers, so u know which company needs them
ME : okay
My_MOM : what did u do over the weekend
ME : it was kraig's birthday
My_MOM : oops and i forgot
My_MOM : thats just it, we leave to far away to remember those things
My_MOM : ((yahoo angry IM face, and then the "buzz" sound))
My_MOM : c u later
I'll be your French maid, where I'll meet you at the door
Well it's 8:30am here on a Monday morning, and as usual I can't even think about work until I get stuff off my brain.
First off, Marcia Cross is the most gorgeous redhead ever...
Secondly, my bruises are WORSE....Stefanie, wtf did you do to me?!
Thirdly, I"m SO pissed. I keep my life in my planner...well that and a book of stamps...and i KNOW i left it on my desk, and now it's gone...i mean, it kinda could pass for a wallet, but i'm seriously mad and this is the second time crap has gone missing here at work, and every time we try to talk to the facilities guy he tells us to not be so quick to think it's the cleaning crew...okay yeah 'cause my coworkers would steal a jar of cash with maybe $4 in it?!
I'm seriously so annoyed by that, you have no idea...i'm going to do ONE last final lookthrough around my house in the event that i may have brought it home, but I'm positive it was on my filing cabinet last time i saw it. DAMN i'm so pissed.
Fourthly, I'm on my 2nd last Tazo Passion Tea and I sure hope my boss will let me sneak out and get more.
Fifthly, I have so much work to do this week it's crazy out of control.
Sixthly: The song of the day chidren is Drop It Like It's Hot by Mr. Dogg....
Seventhly: I watched Clueless AGAIN this weekend, but i didn't watch the special features yet.
Eightly: I'm so exhausted, it's crazy out of control.
Ninthly: Lost this week is going to be CRAZY awesome...
Tenthly: Desperate Housewives on Sunday is going to be goooooooooooooooooooood....
Okay time to start waking up, must bitch slap self awake.....
EDITED TO ADD: SEE...wtf...i forgot about poker on Friday...because I have no planner....i'm SO pissed....seriously...i'm going to beat the crap out of whoever took it, i'm THAT irate...
First off, Marcia Cross is the most gorgeous redhead ever...
Secondly, my bruises are WORSE....Stefanie, wtf did you do to me?!
Thirdly, I"m SO pissed. I keep my life in my planner...well that and a book of stamps...and i KNOW i left it on my desk, and now it's gone...i mean, it kinda could pass for a wallet, but i'm seriously mad and this is the second time crap has gone missing here at work, and every time we try to talk to the facilities guy he tells us to not be so quick to think it's the cleaning crew...okay yeah 'cause my coworkers would steal a jar of cash with maybe $4 in it?!
I'm seriously so annoyed by that, you have no idea...i'm going to do ONE last final lookthrough around my house in the event that i may have brought it home, but I'm positive it was on my filing cabinet last time i saw it. DAMN i'm so pissed.
Fourthly, I'm on my 2nd last Tazo Passion Tea and I sure hope my boss will let me sneak out and get more.
Fifthly, I have so much work to do this week it's crazy out of control.
Sixthly: The song of the day chidren is Drop It Like It's Hot by Mr. Dogg....
Seventhly: I watched Clueless AGAIN this weekend, but i didn't watch the special features yet.
Eightly: I'm so exhausted, it's crazy out of control.
Ninthly: Lost this week is going to be CRAZY awesome...
Tenthly: Desperate Housewives on Sunday is going to be goooooooooooooooooooood....
Okay time to start waking up, must bitch slap self awake.....
EDITED TO ADD: SEE...wtf...i forgot about poker on Friday...because I have no planner....i'm SO pissed....seriously...i'm going to beat the crap out of whoever took it, i'm THAT irate...
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Power Puff Girls Tattoos and other tales of woe
Surprisingly, for as plastered as I was last night (which was pretty much at "one more sip and I'll pass out" levels), I'm not hungover at all. My throat is sore and I'm tired, but that's it.
Today's song of the day: Gold Digger. (insert part where i'm supposed to bitch about the censorship of songs and why do they bother playing it if they're going to bleep everything out...really though my issue is that if you're going to make a fantastic song, just make a crappy radio version as well)....
One interesting thing to note...
I think smoking is nasty. I mean, WAY nasty. I've done it a few times, all drunk, and really just to keep me warm while standing in line in the freezing snow going to a bar. However it's just gross, and it's gross to be around people who smoke. And kissing a smoker? I'd rather lick my toilet clean.
Last night there was this dude who kept stopping to talk to me (bragging about some computer crap until i was like "hey jackass, we both have the same degree so you can stop your boasting now"), and with all honesty if I were single I probably would have spent more time chatting with him. Later though I saw him outside, smoking, and I was like "EW you are so vile!"...
Which brings me to my point: granted in California the entire time i've lived here, there's been no indoor smoking but pretty much the entire time i've been here I was "taken" so picking up guys wasn't a high priority.
But back in Ottawa, you could still smoke in bars at the time...and at least back then, if you're gonna hook up, you could at least distinguish the smokers from the nonsmokers. It's almost DECEITFUL to me that you can chat it up with a girl and turn out to be a smoker. You might as well tell me that you have a prosthetic penis or something.
In other news...
Somehow my right leg is ALL gashed up, which makes no sense because in my drunkeness, I KNOW that i didn't trip...i mean, i've got WELTS. And they hurt. No idea what I did last night that would have prompted that.
I have NO voice. That's probably the crappiest part about going out...my voice already sounds like a teenage boy's voice...whenever my family used to call the house, they'd think I was my brother (to this day they probably wouldn't recognize it), I know i gripe about a ton of stuff about myself but at least those are all things that are modifyable (even if by surgery)...there's not much i can do about my voice but let it be known, deep down, i'm so insecure about it and it's lack of femininity kills me. And now it's all raspy, so i sound like some 90 year old smoker.
Greaaattttt....
Today's song of the day: Gold Digger. (insert part where i'm supposed to bitch about the censorship of songs and why do they bother playing it if they're going to bleep everything out...really though my issue is that if you're going to make a fantastic song, just make a crappy radio version as well)....
One interesting thing to note...
I think smoking is nasty. I mean, WAY nasty. I've done it a few times, all drunk, and really just to keep me warm while standing in line in the freezing snow going to a bar. However it's just gross, and it's gross to be around people who smoke. And kissing a smoker? I'd rather lick my toilet clean.
Last night there was this dude who kept stopping to talk to me (bragging about some computer crap until i was like "hey jackass, we both have the same degree so you can stop your boasting now"), and with all honesty if I were single I probably would have spent more time chatting with him. Later though I saw him outside, smoking, and I was like "EW you are so vile!"...
Which brings me to my point: granted in California the entire time i've lived here, there's been no indoor smoking but pretty much the entire time i've been here I was "taken" so picking up guys wasn't a high priority.
But back in Ottawa, you could still smoke in bars at the time...and at least back then, if you're gonna hook up, you could at least distinguish the smokers from the nonsmokers. It's almost DECEITFUL to me that you can chat it up with a girl and turn out to be a smoker. You might as well tell me that you have a prosthetic penis or something.
In other news...
Somehow my right leg is ALL gashed up, which makes no sense because in my drunkeness, I KNOW that i didn't trip...i mean, i've got WELTS. And they hurt. No idea what I did last night that would have prompted that.
I have NO voice. That's probably the crappiest part about going out...my voice already sounds like a teenage boy's voice...whenever my family used to call the house, they'd think I was my brother (to this day they probably wouldn't recognize it), I know i gripe about a ton of stuff about myself but at least those are all things that are modifyable (even if by surgery)...there's not much i can do about my voice but let it be known, deep down, i'm so insecure about it and it's lack of femininity kills me. And now it's all raspy, so i sound like some 90 year old smoker.
Greaaattttt....
Friday, September 16, 2005
Sometimes...
Amazing how after 4.5 years of being with someone, they can still say something so uncharacteristic that you're actually blown away by the sweetness of it all:
This will help get me that experience and hopefully I will be able to land (or continue to get promotions here) a very good paying job so that you wont have to worry about our future and we can start a family.
He deserves SERIOUS credit for even saying that to me...way to score brownie points (cater to my anxiety, and you'll ALWAYS score points with me!)
This will help get me that experience and hopefully I will be able to land (or continue to get promotions here) a very good paying job so that you wont have to worry about our future and we can start a family.
He deserves SERIOUS credit for even saying that to me...way to score brownie points (cater to my anxiety, and you'll ALWAYS score points with me!)
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Eeep...review day
Okay so I've got this major thing to do 'cause I'm running a meeting this afternoon, but if I don't do a brain dump it'll never get done.
Running through my mind, from the Smallville soundtrack (of which, i'm pleased to say that i actually caught an episode last night on TV which rarely happens...G**DDAMN Tom Welling is so fine):
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
That's the song of the day kids. By Lifehouse.
In other news...
Also caught some of Rock Star: INXS last night. That's the show that never ends, wtf. Brooke's hair drives me crazy (can we PLEASE cut those extensions? And can we PLEASE add some pitch to that monotone "i'm reading the teleprompter" voice?! So of course the only reason I even watch that show is 'cause I think Mig is insanely hot, and I will never admit that it's 'cause he's got that I'm with the band thing going on. My only beef with him is that his pants last night were WAY too tight, which even then I would have no problems with but all I could think of was how my thighs are ten times bigger than his, and that's depressing 'cause no chick wants to be with a guy when her thighs can smother him.
And Kraig's all "Did you like it when he ripped his shirt?"...actually mother effer, I did. 'Cause i approve of guys who wax their chest. ALL guys should. It should be a requirement of society. And it's DEFINITELY not gay to do some manscaping...after all, it's ridiculously painful and the average guy doesn't have the balls for that kind of pain.
Speaking of, I guess if i'm gonna start wearing skirts as often as I have been, i'm just going to get my legs/bikini waxed...that's gonna hurt like a b*tch...haven't done that in awhile.
Running through my mind, from the Smallville soundtrack (of which, i'm pleased to say that i actually caught an episode last night on TV which rarely happens...G**DDAMN Tom Welling is so fine):
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
That's the song of the day kids. By Lifehouse.
In other news...
Also caught some of Rock Star: INXS last night. That's the show that never ends, wtf. Brooke's hair drives me crazy (can we PLEASE cut those extensions? And can we PLEASE add some pitch to that monotone "i'm reading the teleprompter" voice?! So of course the only reason I even watch that show is 'cause I think Mig is insanely hot, and I will never admit that it's 'cause he's got that I'm with the band thing going on. My only beef with him is that his pants last night were WAY too tight, which even then I would have no problems with but all I could think of was how my thighs are ten times bigger than his, and that's depressing 'cause no chick wants to be with a guy when her thighs can smother him.
And Kraig's all "Did you like it when he ripped his shirt?"...actually mother effer, I did. 'Cause i approve of guys who wax their chest. ALL guys should. It should be a requirement of society. And it's DEFINITELY not gay to do some manscaping...after all, it's ridiculously painful and the average guy doesn't have the balls for that kind of pain.
Speaking of, I guess if i'm gonna start wearing skirts as often as I have been, i'm just going to get my legs/bikini waxed...that's gonna hurt like a b*tch...haven't done that in awhile.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
You've gotta be kidding me
So I went to work out, late as usual (this time only a quick 20 minute workout...kind of tired tonight) and so I'm driving home around 11:00pm or so...
And as usual, after a workout, I've got the music in my car cranked up and I'm singing at the top of the lungs (I'm willing to admit, I'm a big loser. Bite me.) And then I see the signals flashing and bright lights behind me.
Crap.
I swear, I used to speed like a MADMAN when I lived back home. And I even managed to go a long time in California never having gotten a ticket or anything, but everyone told me in California, it's just a matter of time.
I've been pulled over a TON since I moved to California, and more specifically, SoCal.
The last time I got pulled over, the cop prattled off about how the light bulb above my license plate was burnt out. I didn't even know what he was talking about, so I got out of the car and made him show me. I think the only reason I didn't get a fix-it ticket was because I asked so many questions...I mean, honestly, I didn't even know there was a light bulb there.
When I asked Kraig about it (i.e. can he switch the bulb 'cause knowing me, I'd eff it up), he told me he had the feeling the problem was a circuit/fuse thing rather than the light bulb simply being burnt out (don't ask me where he got this theory from...I don't think he even checked what I was talking about). Circuit stuff with my car is WAY more thought than I'd like to put into my car (my car and I have a great relationship: the more I ignore it and treat it like crap, the better it runs. I'm not kidding. The less i change the oil, the less problems i have even).
Anyway so what I did was I went to Kragen and bought the bulb and it's been sitting in my glove compartment ever since, so that if a police officer bugged me about the light, I could just whip it out and say "oh i just bought it, i'll do it this weekend".
Fast forward to today....
The cop pulls me over...and DAMN those lights are bright. I mean, Iknow my car is ghetto, which is probably another reason I get pulled over so often in Orange County.
I roll down my window, thinking in my head "yeah so you drove super fast 'cause you were singing super loud but you were still under the speed limit, you're okay"...
I think the cop was surprised to see a chick in the ghetto car. Plus it was pretty obvious I had just come back from the gym. So he flashes his flashlight all around the car, like i've got some big pile of drugs or something, and I'm suddenly in awe of how frickin' CUTE this guy is...I mean, it's like what you see in the movies. He was blond, very "all american boy next door"...he should be on Baywatch.
Note: all of this is happening very, very fast.
He asks me "Do you know the lightbulb over your license plate is burnt out?"
Me: "Oh I know, actually I've got it in my license thingy"
LICENSE THINGY
That sentence REALLY translates to "Oh i know, actually I've got another one in my glove compartment".
GLOVE COMPARTMENT YOU MORON (internal dialog)
At this point I'm waiting for him to lecture me like crazy and give me a fix it ticket for being too stupid to vocalize where the stupid lightbulb was, but all he said was "okay, get it fixed!" and walked off.
All of this took maybe, at most, 30 seconds.
WHAT
THE
F*CK
And as usual, after a workout, I've got the music in my car cranked up and I'm singing at the top of the lungs (I'm willing to admit, I'm a big loser. Bite me.) And then I see the signals flashing and bright lights behind me.
Crap.
I swear, I used to speed like a MADMAN when I lived back home. And I even managed to go a long time in California never having gotten a ticket or anything, but everyone told me in California, it's just a matter of time.
I've been pulled over a TON since I moved to California, and more specifically, SoCal.
The last time I got pulled over, the cop prattled off about how the light bulb above my license plate was burnt out. I didn't even know what he was talking about, so I got out of the car and made him show me. I think the only reason I didn't get a fix-it ticket was because I asked so many questions...I mean, honestly, I didn't even know there was a light bulb there.
When I asked Kraig about it (i.e. can he switch the bulb 'cause knowing me, I'd eff it up), he told me he had the feeling the problem was a circuit/fuse thing rather than the light bulb simply being burnt out (don't ask me where he got this theory from...I don't think he even checked what I was talking about). Circuit stuff with my car is WAY more thought than I'd like to put into my car (my car and I have a great relationship: the more I ignore it and treat it like crap, the better it runs. I'm not kidding. The less i change the oil, the less problems i have even).
Anyway so what I did was I went to Kragen and bought the bulb and it's been sitting in my glove compartment ever since, so that if a police officer bugged me about the light, I could just whip it out and say "oh i just bought it, i'll do it this weekend".
Fast forward to today....
The cop pulls me over...and DAMN those lights are bright. I mean, Iknow my car is ghetto, which is probably another reason I get pulled over so often in Orange County.
I roll down my window, thinking in my head "yeah so you drove super fast 'cause you were singing super loud but you were still under the speed limit, you're okay"...
I think the cop was surprised to see a chick in the ghetto car. Plus it was pretty obvious I had just come back from the gym. So he flashes his flashlight all around the car, like i've got some big pile of drugs or something, and I'm suddenly in awe of how frickin' CUTE this guy is...I mean, it's like what you see in the movies. He was blond, very "all american boy next door"...he should be on Baywatch.
Note: all of this is happening very, very fast.
He asks me "Do you know the lightbulb over your license plate is burnt out?"
Me: "Oh I know, actually I've got it in my license thingy"
LICENSE THINGY
That sentence REALLY translates to "Oh i know, actually I've got another one in my glove compartment".
GLOVE COMPARTMENT YOU MORON (internal dialog)
At this point I'm waiting for him to lecture me like crazy and give me a fix it ticket for being too stupid to vocalize where the stupid lightbulb was, but all he said was "okay, get it fixed!" and walked off.
All of this took maybe, at most, 30 seconds.
WHAT
THE
F*CK
IMing with my mom
I think i'm going to start posting some IMs from my mom, I swear she is SO bizarre sometimes:
MY_MOM : hi whats up
ME : nothing
MY_MOM : when did u go last to that bagel place
ME : i went on Sat...
MY_MOM : yum
MY_MOM : its the bagels that are so good
ME : i know
MY_MOM : next time i want to try those sandwiches too
ME : okay
MY_MOM : and some of that other stuff they serve, it all looks so good
MY_MOM : how is marma
MY_MOM : i miss cuddling her, her fur is so soft
MY_MOM : what hiv written out again
ME : hiv? like the virus? Don't ask me WHY on earth my mom would even ask about this...heck, i'm amazed she even know that HIV exists, as opposed to full on AIDS
MY_MOM : yes, i found out already
MY_MOM : c u later, have to go out in a minute to independant grocer to return something and buy something at the same time, trudi is coming for light supper, chickensalad and green peas soup with lebanese bread
MY_MOM : c u
ME : okay
Because of course...I need to know the MENU...
MY_MOM : hi whats up
ME : nothing
MY_MOM : when did u go last to that bagel place
ME : i went on Sat...
MY_MOM : yum
MY_MOM : its the bagels that are so good
ME : i know
MY_MOM : next time i want to try those sandwiches too
ME : okay
MY_MOM : and some of that other stuff they serve, it all looks so good
MY_MOM : how is marma
MY_MOM : i miss cuddling her, her fur is so soft
MY_MOM : what hiv written out again
ME : hiv? like the virus? Don't ask me WHY on earth my mom would even ask about this...heck, i'm amazed she even know that HIV exists, as opposed to full on AIDS
MY_MOM : yes, i found out already
MY_MOM : c u later, have to go out in a minute to independant grocer to return something and buy something at the same time, trudi is coming for light supper, chickensalad and green peas soup with lebanese bread
MY_MOM : c u
ME : okay
Because of course...I need to know the MENU...
Retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title
I'm in a bitchy bitchy mood today.
First off, I'm "missing" a ton of MP3s. I know, how do you LOSE a bunch of MP3s? My problem is that for each new computer i've gotten over the years, i keep taking my old hard drives with me...my current one has 3 hard drives, and I think someo f the songs I had from one particular job that I burned to CD, i never actually put on my computer and with all the computer swapping goin' on, i just figured that i had put those MP3s on there somewhere....UGH that was a TON of 'em, and now i gotta find them...
I know i had them on a bunch of CDs 'cause i took them to the gym with me as well....
REALLY all I want is "Lady - Hear Me Tonight" (Modjo)...that is like, the BEST dancing song ever. EVER. Even beats anything from 112. I LOVE that Modjo song, and every time i hear it in a club, I go crazy. In fact, if you put me on a stranded island and made me listen to a song over and over, I would hope it would be that song.
Anyway.
I'm also being WAY too lazy with my green card paperwork, which is bad considering that i'm cutting it close with my timeline...but i'm not half as paranoid as I was when i originally filed...now it's just a matter of getting all the photocopies together to prove that i'm still married, but the title for the house is in the safe deposit box and i really REALLY wanted to get all this done/mailed after work today (I don't have time to go to teh safe deposit box, photocopy it, then go to the post office and get it sent by certified mail....)...
Yadda yadda.
So they're showing all those SATC commercials, and after lending Carrie some of my DVDs (note to self: did i buy Season 6 part 2? I'm sure i have them all, but I get the feeling that I didn't buy that one) I forgot how fabulous that show is. Desperate Housewives kinda takes it's place, but it's nowhere NEAR half as good. Anyway I've decided that when i'm 40, I want to be Samantha.
See every chick associates herself with one of the girls...most chicks think they're Carrie...personally, I think I'm Charlotte. I'm the biggest prude ever (yes, i'm a loudmouth at times, but i'm a big time prude), I rarely buy anything trendy (well, uber trendy), and I'm really old skool when it comes to family (like, I firmly believe that the guy has to look after his mom after his dad dies. That means as a chick, you look after your mother in law while your brother looks after your mom. I mean, if my sister in law is a bitch and wont' let my mom move in with them, of course I"ll take care of my mom...but I think first and foremost it's my responsibility to look after my mother in law, who personally i would feel more comfortable if she lived with me NOW because she's really decrepit)...
Anyway apparently according to others, i'm a mix of Charlotte and MIranda, because i'm a sarcastic SOB with little patience.
No idea why I'm on this SATC rant, but whatever.
Modjo - Lady (hear me tonight)
Lady hear me tonight
'Cause my feeling is just so right
As we dance by the moonlight
Can't you see you're my daylight
Lady I just feel like
I won't get you out of my mind
I feel love for the first time
And I know that it is true
I can tell by the look in your eyes
On another note, I really would like to get a decent night's sleep...my dreams are WAY bizarre lately, and I wake up totally disoriented. And Lord knows, I'm pretty much disoriented by nature until noon.
Last note: this is the last time I can wear my taupe top...sigh.
First off, I'm "missing" a ton of MP3s. I know, how do you LOSE a bunch of MP3s? My problem is that for each new computer i've gotten over the years, i keep taking my old hard drives with me...my current one has 3 hard drives, and I think someo f the songs I had from one particular job that I burned to CD, i never actually put on my computer and with all the computer swapping goin' on, i just figured that i had put those MP3s on there somewhere....UGH that was a TON of 'em, and now i gotta find them...
I know i had them on a bunch of CDs 'cause i took them to the gym with me as well....
REALLY all I want is "Lady - Hear Me Tonight" (Modjo)...that is like, the BEST dancing song ever. EVER. Even beats anything from 112. I LOVE that Modjo song, and every time i hear it in a club, I go crazy. In fact, if you put me on a stranded island and made me listen to a song over and over, I would hope it would be that song.
Anyway.
I'm also being WAY too lazy with my green card paperwork, which is bad considering that i'm cutting it close with my timeline...but i'm not half as paranoid as I was when i originally filed...now it's just a matter of getting all the photocopies together to prove that i'm still married, but the title for the house is in the safe deposit box and i really REALLY wanted to get all this done/mailed after work today (I don't have time to go to teh safe deposit box, photocopy it, then go to the post office and get it sent by certified mail....)...
Yadda yadda.
So they're showing all those SATC commercials, and after lending Carrie some of my DVDs (note to self: did i buy Season 6 part 2? I'm sure i have them all, but I get the feeling that I didn't buy that one) I forgot how fabulous that show is. Desperate Housewives kinda takes it's place, but it's nowhere NEAR half as good. Anyway I've decided that when i'm 40, I want to be Samantha.
See every chick associates herself with one of the girls...most chicks think they're Carrie...personally, I think I'm Charlotte. I'm the biggest prude ever (yes, i'm a loudmouth at times, but i'm a big time prude), I rarely buy anything trendy (well, uber trendy), and I'm really old skool when it comes to family (like, I firmly believe that the guy has to look after his mom after his dad dies. That means as a chick, you look after your mother in law while your brother looks after your mom. I mean, if my sister in law is a bitch and wont' let my mom move in with them, of course I"ll take care of my mom...but I think first and foremost it's my responsibility to look after my mother in law, who personally i would feel more comfortable if she lived with me NOW because she's really decrepit)...
Anyway apparently according to others, i'm a mix of Charlotte and MIranda, because i'm a sarcastic SOB with little patience.
No idea why I'm on this SATC rant, but whatever.
Modjo - Lady (hear me tonight)
Lady hear me tonight
'Cause my feeling is just so right
As we dance by the moonlight
Can't you see you're my daylight
Lady I just feel like
I won't get you out of my mind
I feel love for the first time
And I know that it is true
I can tell by the look in your eyes
On another note, I really would like to get a decent night's sleep...my dreams are WAY bizarre lately, and I wake up totally disoriented. And Lord knows, I'm pretty much disoriented by nature until noon.
Last note: this is the last time I can wear my taupe top...sigh.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Killing time at work
Gonna leave in around 15 mins for the gym.
I just wanna say that that whole thing about the 11 kids that were kept in cages makes me so nauseous.
And if you knew me, and my distaste for PEOPLE...then you'd know that i have to be really pissed off in order to hate people even more.
See, when I hear about a kid abducted, I"m like "yadda yadda another kid kidnapped". In fact, really I just feel sympathy for the parents, because I can imagine how heartbraking that must be.
But really, it's not that much sympathy.
I invest all of my emotions into animals....now when i hear that an ANIMAL is abducted, my heart leaps out of my chest in pain. And when I hear of turtured animals, I pretty much bawl like a baby. It kills me, it really does. Because not only do they not have a voice...but also 'cause it's like, a human KNOWS when it's being attacked. I KNOW when i'm being thrown against a wall. An animal doesn't...all it knows is that it's suddenly feeling pain and it can't stop it.
Makes me sick just thinking about all the stories i've read over the years about animal abuse. I swear to GOD if i ever busted anyone hurting an animal, I'd beat the sh*t out of them. ANd then i'd torture them till they begged for their own death.
And i'm not kidding.
So anyway, my point is that I don't really care when i hear bad things happen to people.
When i heard about that cage situation in Ohio though, that made me so nauseous. Esp. since some of those kids are autistic. That's such horrible cruelty, those parents should have a crowbar taken to their heads over and over for the rest of their lives, barely kept alive just to feel more pain.
Yeah i take this sh*t seriously mother effer.
Okay time to go work out.
I just wanna say that that whole thing about the 11 kids that were kept in cages makes me so nauseous.
And if you knew me, and my distaste for PEOPLE...then you'd know that i have to be really pissed off in order to hate people even more.
See, when I hear about a kid abducted, I"m like "yadda yadda another kid kidnapped". In fact, really I just feel sympathy for the parents, because I can imagine how heartbraking that must be.
But really, it's not that much sympathy.
I invest all of my emotions into animals....now when i hear that an ANIMAL is abducted, my heart leaps out of my chest in pain. And when I hear of turtured animals, I pretty much bawl like a baby. It kills me, it really does. Because not only do they not have a voice...but also 'cause it's like, a human KNOWS when it's being attacked. I KNOW when i'm being thrown against a wall. An animal doesn't...all it knows is that it's suddenly feeling pain and it can't stop it.
Makes me sick just thinking about all the stories i've read over the years about animal abuse. I swear to GOD if i ever busted anyone hurting an animal, I'd beat the sh*t out of them. ANd then i'd torture them till they begged for their own death.
And i'm not kidding.
So anyway, my point is that I don't really care when i hear bad things happen to people.
When i heard about that cage situation in Ohio though, that made me so nauseous. Esp. since some of those kids are autistic. That's such horrible cruelty, those parents should have a crowbar taken to their heads over and over for the rest of their lives, barely kept alive just to feel more pain.
Yeah i take this sh*t seriously mother effer.
Okay time to go work out.
Shook me all night long
yeah i've got AC/DC in my head right now...
Well since Nic said she'd be bored at work today...I might as well get the excessive griping out of my system.
First off, I woke up barely being able to breathe, and NOT because my cat was lying on my chest (he honestly will kill me one of these days)...and my head is pounding...
But where I'm from (yes, this makes me sound super old and foreign), more often than not you've got a cold. By spring, my nose is just nasty red blob. Since i've moved to Cali, i RARELY get colds, and I refuse to get them because I figure, i've already had just about every cold virus on the planet...there's no Cali virus that's gonna wipe me out.
That being said, i feel like i'm DYING right now.
In other news, I had this huge shopping epiphany this weekend.
I went shopping for something somewhat hootchie to wear Friday night...nothing I had looked cute enough, or they were super dated...and really it was the search for the Disposable Top that i know i'm only going to wear once anyway.
So i went to the usual mallrat type places. Let me tell you a little something...i've been clubbing since I was 18, and I'm pretty much the same size...maybe a bit smaller by a few pounds, but yeah i've got clothes from 18 that i still have (like the jeans i'm wearing today).
I must have tried on a trillion tops. Right now the trend is all this beaded crap, which really destroyed my skin...i looked like someone whipped me across my chest and my back (from the constant pulling on/off of tight fitting hootchie tops).
A small number of tops actually fit. And i couldn't figure out why, I mean I wasn't trying on crazy complicated tops...i really just wanted to find the perfect halter top. It just seemed like i needed a massive pushup bra, but none of these tops were meant to be worn with a bra.
And then it hit me.
Much like vanity sizing (where sizes now are much, much bigger than 15 years ago because people as a whole have gotten fatter)...
Hootchie clothes are now designed for chicks with fake boobs. EVERY tope i tried on needed my chest to be a few inches higher, and there's no way that's happening to ANYONE naturally without a bra.
Maybe it's just a california thing, since it's pretty predominant here...but DAMN. I was okay with vanity sizing...i mean, it annoys me because not everyone does it so I quite honestly never know what to tell people my size is, becuase i'm anywhere from an XXS to M. BUT THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL.
I shouldn't have to invest a few grand$$ just to fit into a stupid $20 halter top.
But sadly...I spent the rest of Sat night thinking maybe I should...i mean, i've already got my other surgeries planned out, but most of that is for after I'm done having kids...and I figured after having kids I would just get a lift and ideally no implants (i'm willing to get nipped and tucked and have stuff sucked out of me, but ADDING things makes me nervous)...
Every night before going to bed, I start to poke and prod at myself, so much that based on the horrendous moaning I do my husband yells at me from another room "STOP PULLING AT YOUR GUT YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE! STOP IT! YOU LOOK FINE!!!"....ughghgh.
/rant about boobs (or lack of it).
I'm back to bleaching my teeth because at the dentist on Saturday the chicky told me that that's optimal time to bleach your teeth because they've removed all the stains. Normally I can't hack more than 2 days because:
a) you can't consume stuff that stains your teeth (my diet pepsi! My tazo Passion tea!) up to 48 hours after you're done bleaching because the "pores" are open. I can never go a full 5 days without either beverages.
b) your teeth are UBER pained during that time. Imagine putting an ice cube on your teeth 24/7...that's what teeth bleaching feels like.
Well the hygienist chicky told me as long as I'm good about rinsing about my mouth with water after tea/pepsi, I should be alright. So i'm white knuckling it on Day 2 right now...by tomorrow i'll be in pure agony.
Which brings up something else I read last night (Shape magazine, which yes i DID pay for, part of my subscription)...about how we women don't feel like things are working unless we're in serious pain. Like when i get a massage, i fully expect to be bruised by the next day (HA yes make whatever comments you want about how I like it rough!). Or when i do my at home glycolic peel kit, i leave it on for twice as long...burn my face off mothereffer!
I really, really wish I had been born a guy (and not just for the general life reasons about why things are easier for men, blah blah). I remember my first prom, being at the hairdresser, and another girl was bitching about how all the guys at that moment were off playing football. It takes us WEEKS of advance preparation just to look half decent in our dress, let alone the effort required that day to look amazing.
Which THEN leads me to think, the reason why it doesn't matter what a groom looks like on his wedding day as long as he's wearing a tux or whatever "groom attire" (whether it's a beach shirt, etc)...the groom only has to shower, shave, slap on some gel and he's good to go. That's all of what, 45 minutes and only because he's going to make a bit more effort to shave better that day?
I woke up at SIX AM on my frickin' wedding day (okay granted i coudln't sleep, and I still had to write my little speech which i didn't end up using because i couldn't read my own handwriting on the hotel notepad) and had my bridesmaids pile into my suite at the hotel by 8am...my scalp is STILL raw from my hairstyle (which i have to give props to my beauty chick, we didn't do a trial run...i told her i wanted my hair like Britney Murphy's in Almost Newlyweds but britney had hair extensions but my beauty chick pulled it off without them and i loved my hair that day)....
So for all the effort it takes for chicks to get ready, i think any big day SHOULD be about us and not about the guy because he's merely an accessory to whatever event we're attending, even if it's our own wedding day.
my head is still pounding, this headache pill situation isn't good
Sigh. Going to rummage through the building in hopes of finding some pills.
Well since Nic said she'd be bored at work today...I might as well get the excessive griping out of my system.
First off, I woke up barely being able to breathe, and NOT because my cat was lying on my chest (he honestly will kill me one of these days)...and my head is pounding...
But where I'm from (yes, this makes me sound super old and foreign), more often than not you've got a cold. By spring, my nose is just nasty red blob. Since i've moved to Cali, i RARELY get colds, and I refuse to get them because I figure, i've already had just about every cold virus on the planet...there's no Cali virus that's gonna wipe me out.
That being said, i feel like i'm DYING right now.
In other news, I had this huge shopping epiphany this weekend.
I went shopping for something somewhat hootchie to wear Friday night...nothing I had looked cute enough, or they were super dated...and really it was the search for the Disposable Top that i know i'm only going to wear once anyway.
So i went to the usual mallrat type places. Let me tell you a little something...i've been clubbing since I was 18, and I'm pretty much the same size...maybe a bit smaller by a few pounds, but yeah i've got clothes from 18 that i still have (like the jeans i'm wearing today).
I must have tried on a trillion tops. Right now the trend is all this beaded crap, which really destroyed my skin...i looked like someone whipped me across my chest and my back (from the constant pulling on/off of tight fitting hootchie tops).
A small number of tops actually fit. And i couldn't figure out why, I mean I wasn't trying on crazy complicated tops...i really just wanted to find the perfect halter top. It just seemed like i needed a massive pushup bra, but none of these tops were meant to be worn with a bra.
And then it hit me.
Much like vanity sizing (where sizes now are much, much bigger than 15 years ago because people as a whole have gotten fatter)...
Hootchie clothes are now designed for chicks with fake boobs. EVERY tope i tried on needed my chest to be a few inches higher, and there's no way that's happening to ANYONE naturally without a bra.
Maybe it's just a california thing, since it's pretty predominant here...but DAMN. I was okay with vanity sizing...i mean, it annoys me because not everyone does it so I quite honestly never know what to tell people my size is, becuase i'm anywhere from an XXS to M. BUT THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL.
I shouldn't have to invest a few grand$$ just to fit into a stupid $20 halter top.
But sadly...I spent the rest of Sat night thinking maybe I should...i mean, i've already got my other surgeries planned out, but most of that is for after I'm done having kids...and I figured after having kids I would just get a lift and ideally no implants (i'm willing to get nipped and tucked and have stuff sucked out of me, but ADDING things makes me nervous)...
Every night before going to bed, I start to poke and prod at myself, so much that based on the horrendous moaning I do my husband yells at me from another room "STOP PULLING AT YOUR GUT YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE! STOP IT! YOU LOOK FINE!!!"....ughghgh.
/rant about boobs (or lack of it).
I'm back to bleaching my teeth because at the dentist on Saturday the chicky told me that that's optimal time to bleach your teeth because they've removed all the stains. Normally I can't hack more than 2 days because:
a) you can't consume stuff that stains your teeth (my diet pepsi! My tazo Passion tea!) up to 48 hours after you're done bleaching because the "pores" are open. I can never go a full 5 days without either beverages.
b) your teeth are UBER pained during that time. Imagine putting an ice cube on your teeth 24/7...that's what teeth bleaching feels like.
Well the hygienist chicky told me as long as I'm good about rinsing about my mouth with water after tea/pepsi, I should be alright. So i'm white knuckling it on Day 2 right now...by tomorrow i'll be in pure agony.
Which brings up something else I read last night (Shape magazine, which yes i DID pay for, part of my subscription)...about how we women don't feel like things are working unless we're in serious pain. Like when i get a massage, i fully expect to be bruised by the next day (HA yes make whatever comments you want about how I like it rough!). Or when i do my at home glycolic peel kit, i leave it on for twice as long...burn my face off mothereffer!
I really, really wish I had been born a guy (and not just for the general life reasons about why things are easier for men, blah blah). I remember my first prom, being at the hairdresser, and another girl was bitching about how all the guys at that moment were off playing football. It takes us WEEKS of advance preparation just to look half decent in our dress, let alone the effort required that day to look amazing.
Which THEN leads me to think, the reason why it doesn't matter what a groom looks like on his wedding day as long as he's wearing a tux or whatever "groom attire" (whether it's a beach shirt, etc)...the groom only has to shower, shave, slap on some gel and he's good to go. That's all of what, 45 minutes and only because he's going to make a bit more effort to shave better that day?
I woke up at SIX AM on my frickin' wedding day (okay granted i coudln't sleep, and I still had to write my little speech which i didn't end up using because i couldn't read my own handwriting on the hotel notepad) and had my bridesmaids pile into my suite at the hotel by 8am...my scalp is STILL raw from my hairstyle (which i have to give props to my beauty chick, we didn't do a trial run...i told her i wanted my hair like Britney Murphy's in Almost Newlyweds but britney had hair extensions but my beauty chick pulled it off without them and i loved my hair that day)....
So for all the effort it takes for chicks to get ready, i think any big day SHOULD be about us and not about the guy because he's merely an accessory to whatever event we're attending, even if it's our own wedding day.
my head is still pounding, this headache pill situation isn't good
Sigh. Going to rummage through the building in hopes of finding some pills.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Wonderful Email
So i got this email from a wonderful friend of mine (in Canada), who's name I won't post 'cause I don't want to embarass her, but it was such a sweet, sweet email:
I have been trying to spend more time emailing because I can't believe how much I miss people. This "mother" job is just about the most alienating job out there. I meant to email you last week because I got your thank you card. You know I'm the one that owes you a thank you. You visiting us really perked people up. It really made me feel better and I realized just how increadibly much I miss you. It was weird. It was like I missed you more while you were here, probably because it's like spending time with your ex right after you break-up. It hurts more to be with them than without. I've kind of feel like that...it hurts more to be with you than without. That being said, I had the best time while you were here. It really sucks that your not here. It really does.
Dang I miss her...I wish I could kidnap her and bring her to california.
I have been trying to spend more time emailing because I can't believe how much I miss people. This "mother" job is just about the most alienating job out there. I meant to email you last week because I got your thank you card. You know I'm the one that owes you a thank you. You visiting us really perked people up. It really made me feel better and I realized just how increadibly much I miss you. It was weird. It was like I missed you more while you were here, probably because it's like spending time with your ex right after you break-up. It hurts more to be with them than without. I've kind of feel like that...it hurts more to be with you than without. That being said, I had the best time while you were here. It really sucks that your not here. It really does.
Dang I miss her...I wish I could kidnap her and bring her to california.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Pour some sugar on me...
It's 2:20 on Sunday afternoon, my brain is full of random crap so I'm going to do a brain dump
doing all this while enjoying my music from my good ol' Napster days...how many hours were wasted watching those blue bars do their thing? Dance With Me - 112
So this morning got up insanely early, went to Cinnamon Products with Nicole and Chris...that's what I'm talkin' about...that's some good stuff.
Dropped Kraig off at home, ran some errands...
Went to Best Buy to use up a gift card...WHY do people shop there for DVDs? Their prices are insane. It's one
(It's Over Now - 112)
thing to go there and buy a tv...it's another to buy something that you can get at like Target for wayyyyy cheaper.
Anyway, picked up Toy Story (anniversary edition), and watched in amazement at the store clerk who actually let me grab a PILE of those scratch/win things and just scratch, toss, grab another...i'm like "uhhh am I allowed to do this?" and he's all "I'm so over that contest"...
Went to Walmart (yes i'm a glutton for punishment...ever now and then I feel that household crap should be purchased at Walmart in order to keep it real...), picked up my Clueless Whatever Edition (did I mention that I watched it yesterday, and already I want to see it AGAIN?!), random makeup, the new Fitness RX BEST fitness mag ever, and some underwear that had a sign that said "best underwear ever" so i'm like "okay bitch, I'll see to your undergarment challenge"...(where Bitch=Blue and Yellow Walmart sign)
Only You - 112...which was one of about five songs that fall under "my" clubbing songs in university
After that quickly went and picked up another pair of shoes...that makes 5 boots/shoes in 2 weeks, my guess is that I should probably stop because soon I'll feel like I need to start adding to my purse collection, and this whole monster is already something I'm trying to get under my control...
Only you....why can't we just make it happen...every time I'm with you...never want it to come to an end...always make me soooo happy....you'll always have a place in my heart (sorry had to pause there to dance around the room...)
Went to Target, bought more random household stuff
(Everybody Doesn't - Amanda)
then returned uber late library stuff...went to Pavillions to get my grocery groove on...bought a ton more Chex Mix...oh yes, don't think I've forgotten about my anti-pretzel tyrade...
So at Target this dude at the photo center actually picked up a chick. I actually stopped and stared in awe. He wasn't cute by any means (well, okay maybe a bit cute but nowhere near my type by a long shot so i have to give him some benefit of the doubt) but he was very assertive, introduced himself, and flashed a beautiful smile.
Which goes to show you that personality and charm will get you very, VERY far when approaching a chick. I wanted to shake his hand and give him my approval on behalf of womankind.
Okay well that's pretty much my day...I could babble on about yesterday but there's not much to say. Cleaned like a madman, watched Clueless and then Footloose (yeah, you wanna knock that movie? You and I can take it outside...'cause it's soooo cheesy but fabulous at the same time), had game night at my place (didn't realize so many people would come over...and why did it seem like my kitchen was overrun with liquor bottles the next day? I think i'm going to have to keep an ongoing stash of tequila and rum just for Justin)
(Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang)
Okay well that's enough random babble, didn't really do much griping and my brain is still full of anxiety over everything and anything...whatever.
OH and my neighbor moved in...they bought their home for $520K or something like that. His name is Wilson...wow...what are the odds of having a neighbor with the name Wilson? (Although i don't share a fence like on the tv show).
OKAY nuff random useless talk.
doing all this while enjoying my music from my good ol' Napster days...how many hours were wasted watching those blue bars do their thing? Dance With Me - 112
So this morning got up insanely early, went to Cinnamon Products with Nicole and Chris...that's what I'm talkin' about...that's some good stuff.
Dropped Kraig off at home, ran some errands...
Went to Best Buy to use up a gift card...WHY do people shop there for DVDs? Their prices are insane. It's one
(It's Over Now - 112)
thing to go there and buy a tv...it's another to buy something that you can get at like Target for wayyyyy cheaper.
Anyway, picked up Toy Story (anniversary edition), and watched in amazement at the store clerk who actually let me grab a PILE of those scratch/win things and just scratch, toss, grab another...i'm like "uhhh am I allowed to do this?" and he's all "I'm so over that contest"...
Went to Walmart (yes i'm a glutton for punishment...ever now and then I feel that household crap should be purchased at Walmart in order to keep it real...), picked up my Clueless Whatever Edition (did I mention that I watched it yesterday, and already I want to see it AGAIN?!), random makeup, the new Fitness RX BEST fitness mag ever, and some underwear that had a sign that said "best underwear ever" so i'm like "okay bitch, I'll see to your undergarment challenge"...(where Bitch=Blue and Yellow Walmart sign)
Only You - 112...which was one of about five songs that fall under "my" clubbing songs in university
After that quickly went and picked up another pair of shoes...that makes 5 boots/shoes in 2 weeks, my guess is that I should probably stop because soon I'll feel like I need to start adding to my purse collection, and this whole monster is already something I'm trying to get under my control...
Only you....why can't we just make it happen...every time I'm with you...never want it to come to an end...always make me soooo happy....you'll always have a place in my heart (sorry had to pause there to dance around the room...)
Went to Target, bought more random household stuff
(Everybody Doesn't - Amanda)
then returned uber late library stuff...went to Pavillions to get my grocery groove on...bought a ton more Chex Mix...oh yes, don't think I've forgotten about my anti-pretzel tyrade...
So at Target this dude at the photo center actually picked up a chick. I actually stopped and stared in awe. He wasn't cute by any means (well, okay maybe a bit cute but nowhere near my type by a long shot so i have to give him some benefit of the doubt) but he was very assertive, introduced himself, and flashed a beautiful smile.
Which goes to show you that personality and charm will get you very, VERY far when approaching a chick. I wanted to shake his hand and give him my approval on behalf of womankind.
Okay well that's pretty much my day...I could babble on about yesterday but there's not much to say. Cleaned like a madman, watched Clueless and then Footloose (yeah, you wanna knock that movie? You and I can take it outside...'cause it's soooo cheesy but fabulous at the same time), had game night at my place (didn't realize so many people would come over...and why did it seem like my kitchen was overrun with liquor bottles the next day? I think i'm going to have to keep an ongoing stash of tequila and rum just for Justin)
(Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang)
Okay well that's enough random babble, didn't really do much griping and my brain is still full of anxiety over everything and anything...whatever.
OH and my neighbor moved in...they bought their home for $520K or something like that. His name is Wilson...wow...what are the odds of having a neighbor with the name Wilson? (Although i don't share a fence like on the tv show).
OKAY nuff random useless talk.
Friday, September 09, 2005
When I see you smile
So much griping, so little time.
First off, I"m SO glad my THursday nights have The OC again... it just didn't feel right without it.
That being said, last night's episode was slow and boring and in the previews...please, do I care that they might get kicked outo f their private school? Uh yeah no not really.
This morning when I drove into work (after having paid effing $3.03 for gas...wtf), When I See You Smile came on the radio...
Every time I hear that song, I can't help but feel kind of sad....
See my first bf was an ass who screwed me over in more ways than anyone should ever, ever have to experience. ANd i was waiting for my Look Of Regret from him (more on that later...but the Look of Regret is what i require after every breakup)...
Fast forward, I dated Don but he was SO not for me and I in turn effed him over really badly (and the poor guy didn't deserve that... to this day he was the best boyfriend i ever had), and i was canoodling with Adam around the time Don and I were breaking...so i was going through serious emotions...
And then one day, out of the blue, I got a voicemail from my first bf...apologizing for what he did to me, and how he knows what it was like because someone ended up doing the same to him...
It was my look of regret.... I couldn't breathe I was so emotional. And at that time, my other ex bf Don left a voicemail right after, and he said "this is how i feel about you" and then played When I See You Smile...I was a basket case at that point, between both emails (two Looks of Regret in a 5 minute span?!)....
So every time i hear that song, which is pretty rare since it's an old song... I get kind of sad, and think about how what I did was so wrong and I sure hope he doesn't think of me the way I think about K~.
So the Look Of Regret...
After every breakup, there's always The Look of Regret. The "Damn...why did we break up again" or "wow,she looks fantastic...sigh..."...
With K~, it was that phone call, almost 3 years later...
With Don, it was that voicemail with the song...
I wasn't with Brian long enough to even make it worth anything (I dumped him over the phone and never saw him since...not even worth mentioning but we were together long enough for him to consider me his GF)
With Adam, the first time...it was back when we were in class (Data Structures i believe)...he was on one side, Nat was on the other...and halfway through class he whispers "mmm you're still wearing Japanese Musk?"...and Nat on the other side whispered "OMG he remembers your perfume! That's the look of regret!!!"....
Onto other subjects
...um...everything I'm thinking about I can't put for public viewing lol, so I'll keep those thoughts in my head!
First off, I"m SO glad my THursday nights have The OC again... it just didn't feel right without it.
That being said, last night's episode was slow and boring and in the previews...please, do I care that they might get kicked outo f their private school? Uh yeah no not really.
This morning when I drove into work (after having paid effing $3.03 for gas...wtf), When I See You Smile came on the radio...
Every time I hear that song, I can't help but feel kind of sad....
See my first bf was an ass who screwed me over in more ways than anyone should ever, ever have to experience. ANd i was waiting for my Look Of Regret from him (more on that later...but the Look of Regret is what i require after every breakup)...
Fast forward, I dated Don but he was SO not for me and I in turn effed him over really badly (and the poor guy didn't deserve that... to this day he was the best boyfriend i ever had), and i was canoodling with Adam around the time Don and I were breaking...so i was going through serious emotions...
And then one day, out of the blue, I got a voicemail from my first bf...apologizing for what he did to me, and how he knows what it was like because someone ended up doing the same to him...
It was my look of regret.... I couldn't breathe I was so emotional. And at that time, my other ex bf Don left a voicemail right after, and he said "this is how i feel about you" and then played When I See You Smile...I was a basket case at that point, between both emails (two Looks of Regret in a 5 minute span?!)....
So every time i hear that song, which is pretty rare since it's an old song... I get kind of sad, and think about how what I did was so wrong and I sure hope he doesn't think of me the way I think about K~.
So the Look Of Regret...
After every breakup, there's always The Look of Regret. The "Damn...why did we break up again" or "wow,she looks fantastic...sigh..."...
With K~, it was that phone call, almost 3 years later...
With Don, it was that voicemail with the song...
I wasn't with Brian long enough to even make it worth anything (I dumped him over the phone and never saw him since...not even worth mentioning but we were together long enough for him to consider me his GF)
With Adam, the first time...it was back when we were in class (Data Structures i believe)...he was on one side, Nat was on the other...and halfway through class he whispers "mmm you're still wearing Japanese Musk?"...and Nat on the other side whispered "OMG he remembers your perfume! That's the look of regret!!!"....
Onto other subjects
...um...everything I'm thinking about I can't put for public viewing lol, so I'll keep those thoughts in my head!
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Today I'm annoyed with all men, don't ask me why because i"m not sure. Maybe it's a PMS thing. I don't know. But I want to take a baseball bat to the head of every guy that I see.
Because men are effing retarded and have all the maturity of a cow in heat.
In other words, if one guy pisses me off (most likely my husband), than the rest of the world's men have to suffer.
So i found this flyer (I think it was stuck to Kraig's windshield, one side has a promo for a club), and I died laughing:
Laguna Institute for Aesthetic Vaginal Surgery
Feel 21 again...
Dr. yadda yadda is highly trained in this specialized cosmetic surgery designed to restore and enhance the appearance of the vaginal area. In ordinary terms, the procedure is essenticaly a "face lift" for the vulva and vagina, restoring their youthful appearance and function. Due to childbirth and even aging, the vagina and surrounding muscles can become stretched and lose their strength and tone. These surgical procedures result in thighter skin and muslces, offering a more pleasing appearance. These procedures are also known as labiaplasty, vaginoplasty and rejuvenation of the vagina. Dr. yadda yadda has developed and pioneered many innovative techniques in this newly evolving field of cosmetic vaginal surgery
Okay first off, I can't believe I even WROTE half those words (since i'm here at work and all). Secondly..."youthful appearance"...okay as far as I know, mine hasn't changed one bit EVER. Does it really get "old" looking? That frightens the crap out of me, since i'm already paranoid abuot the wrinkles on my face...i don't want to know what aging does "down there"!!! "Rejuvenation"...the sheer thought of this frightens the hell out of me.
In fact, this whole PROCESS scares me. And what scares me even more is that it's for a male plastic surgeon...oh hell no...I've never, EVER had a male doctor for those areas...and I have no desire to let a GUY decide what that area should look like.
Since I've got horrible self esteem, and today it's especially bad, today i'll bitch about Why I'm An Idiot (see...i'm an equal opportunity griper)...
1. I went to the gym at 10:30 last night, and somehow in the process I lost one of my magazines...i'm so retarded.
2. Came home, realized I still had candles lit, so I blew them out a little too forcefully and got wax EVERYWHERE...on the mirror, the counter, ME....do you know how stupid you have to be to do that?
3. I put gas in my car, at $3.01, and instead of just putting in like $10 worth i stopped paying attention to what i was doing and filled my entire tank.
4. I keep forgetting that I need to apply to remove the conditional sentence of my green card.
5. I keep forgetting that I need to re-do the inventory of the stuff for my house for my home insurance...and take new photos (I haven't done that since I was in my last apartmnet, and since I have a replacement-value policy...i'm inventorying EVERYTHING. Right down to my clothes. Geico's gonna be a new wardrobe dammit).
6. I keep forgetting to mail my friend Stacey her birthday gift...and her birthday is tomorrow...and it'll take 2 weeks for her to get.
7. I keep forgetting to email my brother to ask for my cousins' email addys because I promised i would stop being incognito. I LIKE being incognito...but that's not gonna fly anymore.
8. I agreed to hosting a game night, even though i thought it was shady that i got suckered into hosting it (and since the Hubby has been fabulous with my friends, i gotta suck it up for one night even though i REALLY don't like doing anything withp eople who constantly go in and out to smoke...who the f*ck does that under the age of 40?! And they keep leaving the door open...my cats will run out, and there's coyotes in my area)
9. I can't find the really awesome pencil that i ordered...i'm picky about my writing utensils at work.
10. I'm an idiot because i can't get this missy elliott song out of my head.
11. I"m an idiot because I keep forgetting to take a boatload of stuff to the dry cleaners.
Okay i'll stop bitching for now, because I'm having a serious "should have stayed in bed all day" moment...maybe on monday i'll call in sick...Have you ever had a day where you just want to hide from the world? Yep, today is that day...
Because men are effing retarded and have all the maturity of a cow in heat.
In other words, if one guy pisses me off (most likely my husband), than the rest of the world's men have to suffer.
So i found this flyer (I think it was stuck to Kraig's windshield, one side has a promo for a club), and I died laughing:
Laguna Institute for Aesthetic Vaginal Surgery
Feel 21 again...
Dr. yadda yadda is highly trained in this specialized cosmetic surgery designed to restore and enhance the appearance of the vaginal area. In ordinary terms, the procedure is essenticaly a "face lift" for the vulva and vagina, restoring their youthful appearance and function. Due to childbirth and even aging, the vagina and surrounding muscles can become stretched and lose their strength and tone. These surgical procedures result in thighter skin and muslces, offering a more pleasing appearance. These procedures are also known as labiaplasty, vaginoplasty and rejuvenation of the vagina. Dr. yadda yadda has developed and pioneered many innovative techniques in this newly evolving field of cosmetic vaginal surgery
Okay first off, I can't believe I even WROTE half those words (since i'm here at work and all). Secondly..."youthful appearance"...okay as far as I know, mine hasn't changed one bit EVER. Does it really get "old" looking? That frightens the crap out of me, since i'm already paranoid abuot the wrinkles on my face...i don't want to know what aging does "down there"!!! "Rejuvenation"...the sheer thought of this frightens the hell out of me.
In fact, this whole PROCESS scares me. And what scares me even more is that it's for a male plastic surgeon...oh hell no...I've never, EVER had a male doctor for those areas...and I have no desire to let a GUY decide what that area should look like.
Since I've got horrible self esteem, and today it's especially bad, today i'll bitch about Why I'm An Idiot (see...i'm an equal opportunity griper)...
1. I went to the gym at 10:30 last night, and somehow in the process I lost one of my magazines...i'm so retarded.
2. Came home, realized I still had candles lit, so I blew them out a little too forcefully and got wax EVERYWHERE...on the mirror, the counter, ME....do you know how stupid you have to be to do that?
3. I put gas in my car, at $3.01, and instead of just putting in like $10 worth i stopped paying attention to what i was doing and filled my entire tank.
4. I keep forgetting that I need to apply to remove the conditional sentence of my green card.
5. I keep forgetting that I need to re-do the inventory of the stuff for my house for my home insurance...and take new photos (I haven't done that since I was in my last apartmnet, and since I have a replacement-value policy...i'm inventorying EVERYTHING. Right down to my clothes. Geico's gonna be a new wardrobe dammit).
6. I keep forgetting to mail my friend Stacey her birthday gift...and her birthday is tomorrow...and it'll take 2 weeks for her to get.
7. I keep forgetting to email my brother to ask for my cousins' email addys because I promised i would stop being incognito. I LIKE being incognito...but that's not gonna fly anymore.
8. I agreed to hosting a game night, even though i thought it was shady that i got suckered into hosting it (and since the Hubby has been fabulous with my friends, i gotta suck it up for one night even though i REALLY don't like doing anything withp eople who constantly go in and out to smoke...who the f*ck does that under the age of 40?! And they keep leaving the door open...my cats will run out, and there's coyotes in my area)
9. I can't find the really awesome pencil that i ordered...i'm picky about my writing utensils at work.
10. I'm an idiot because i can't get this missy elliott song out of my head.
11. I"m an idiot because I keep forgetting to take a boatload of stuff to the dry cleaners.
Okay i'll stop bitching for now, because I'm having a serious "should have stayed in bed all day" moment...maybe on monday i'll call in sick...Have you ever had a day where you just want to hide from the world? Yep, today is that day...
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
So my head is all cloudy and i've got 4 major things that need to be done at work today so I need to clear my head before i can actually THINK about work.
I burned my hand when I put my hot water down for my Tazo tea...mother effer hurts like a bitch. Add to that that somehow a dial on the bbq was left on ("somehow"...) and stupid me, when i saw the knob smoking (well the knob actually melted off and the metal stub was left), i touched the metal with my finger...so THAT hurt like a bitch...
I'm falling apart I tell you.
Yesterday was semi-surreal.
Had to run a bunch of errands, barely got back in time to prep for the BBQ... somehow i got suckered into playing board games next week (only agreed to NON D&D games...and they said they'd buy trivial pursuit, the movie edition, which kind of sucks 'cause i would kick ass at the pop culture edition) and then possibly letting my ass get dragged to a GOTH CLUB in LA...
In case you can't tell...
I'm SO not goth.
At all.
I wash my dark tshirts in Woolite for Darks and hang dry them just to preserve the color...like they're delicates or something.
I'm past my "angst years"...not that all goth music is full of angst, maybe that's a stereotype, but at the very least i need music that i can either move my hips to with a guy next to me...you can't make love on the dance floor if the music is obnoxious!
This chex mix situation is out of control....we'll call it PNP (Project No Pretzels)....although i've consumed so much chex mix to prove my point, i'm going to be sick. But i do plan on graphing this crap out.
Have you ever spent time wondering about people in your life that you no longer talk to? I've been doing alot of that lately...maybe it was my trip to Ottawa that got me thinking, because I saw so manyp eople that I had lost contact with.
Like D~ (who shall remain nameless, in the off chance he should find this), who was my BUDDY...I could talk with him for hours and hours, and his infatuation with Jessica, the girl who kept a shovel in her SUV because she would steal plants from stores and stuff....I miss him, his friendship, and I'm pissed that he fell of the face of the earth after I got engaged. And then Shelly tells me "oh yeah he totally liked you, didn't you know?!"...uh no mother effer, he was in love with Jessica, and then why didn't he ever DO anything?! I miss him, i do miss our friendship, I miss his deep thoughts on everything and anything.
Or my childhood friend Andrea...i have a ton of photos of her, but i'm sure she would never remember me. She was my first friend ever, but after moving of course when you're like 6 you can't exactly stay in touch...she hated Barbies and loved her Glo-Worm (i was anti glo worm, and i STILL love Barbies)....
I even miss Jeff ("Jeffy"), as bizarre as that sounds because he was soooo classless and he even dissed me at a school dance when he was my date by getting back together with his ex GF (which is fine, because then I hooked up with our friend's younger brother)...but he was my movie guy, and I love spending time with him, and he was the only one who would indulge in my obsession with McD's hotcakes even though i brought my own sugar-free syrup to McDonald's
(yes, i realize that i've said before how anti McD's i am, however in Canada it's not half as gross as here and I really do like their hotcakes..they're not even PANcakes....they're synthetic circular discs that taste fabulous in SF syrup).
Sigh. I think i'm just annoyed with how many times I've moved in my life. Christine finds it hilarious, and she tells people that I"m the "girl who ran away from home at 23 and went all the way to California...that's how much she hated her family"....and it's somewhat true (sad, but true), i DID run away....
Andyou know what? They say running away doesn't help. You know what doesn't help? Email and instant messenger...if my family can give me grief by IM, they might as well do it in person. Same diff. I don't know why I get into arguments via IM with my mom when i'm at work...i'm always one step away from throwing my keyboard at the monitor.
And why does 23 sound so young?! Why did I feel like such a big loser at 23 not knowing what I was doing with my life? Geezus i'm 28 and i still don't know what I want to be when i grow up!
(breathing into paper bag)
AND to add to the anxiety of today is that I didn't see the Whatever Clueless Edition at Target, which pissed me off 'cause i had to fight the Labor Day herd of cows in the parking lot on Monday, and they didn't even HAVE IT...i think i'll have to steal Kraig's best buy gift card and buy it there....if i don't watch that movie at least once a month, i get VERY cranky. And i don't want to have to watch my regular DVD.
Maybe all this anxiety is 'cause this is my "once in a blue moon PMS moment"...i NEVER get hormonal before mother nature's visit, i just gain a ton of water weight, but DANG i'm like hyper emotional today.
Must stay cool for the masses.
I burned my hand when I put my hot water down for my Tazo tea...mother effer hurts like a bitch. Add to that that somehow a dial on the bbq was left on ("somehow"...) and stupid me, when i saw the knob smoking (well the knob actually melted off and the metal stub was left), i touched the metal with my finger...so THAT hurt like a bitch...
I'm falling apart I tell you.
Yesterday was semi-surreal.
Had to run a bunch of errands, barely got back in time to prep for the BBQ... somehow i got suckered into playing board games next week (only agreed to NON D&D games...and they said they'd buy trivial pursuit, the movie edition, which kind of sucks 'cause i would kick ass at the pop culture edition) and then possibly letting my ass get dragged to a GOTH CLUB in LA...
In case you can't tell...
I'm SO not goth.
At all.
I wash my dark tshirts in Woolite for Darks and hang dry them just to preserve the color...like they're delicates or something.
I'm past my "angst years"...not that all goth music is full of angst, maybe that's a stereotype, but at the very least i need music that i can either move my hips to with a guy next to me...you can't make love on the dance floor if the music is obnoxious!
This chex mix situation is out of control....we'll call it PNP (Project No Pretzels)....although i've consumed so much chex mix to prove my point, i'm going to be sick. But i do plan on graphing this crap out.
Have you ever spent time wondering about people in your life that you no longer talk to? I've been doing alot of that lately...maybe it was my trip to Ottawa that got me thinking, because I saw so manyp eople that I had lost contact with.
Like D~ (who shall remain nameless, in the off chance he should find this), who was my BUDDY...I could talk with him for hours and hours, and his infatuation with Jessica, the girl who kept a shovel in her SUV because she would steal plants from stores and stuff....I miss him, his friendship, and I'm pissed that he fell of the face of the earth after I got engaged. And then Shelly tells me "oh yeah he totally liked you, didn't you know?!"...uh no mother effer, he was in love with Jessica, and then why didn't he ever DO anything?! I miss him, i do miss our friendship, I miss his deep thoughts on everything and anything.
Or my childhood friend Andrea...i have a ton of photos of her, but i'm sure she would never remember me. She was my first friend ever, but after moving of course when you're like 6 you can't exactly stay in touch...she hated Barbies and loved her Glo-Worm (i was anti glo worm, and i STILL love Barbies)....
I even miss Jeff ("Jeffy"), as bizarre as that sounds because he was soooo classless and he even dissed me at a school dance when he was my date by getting back together with his ex GF (which is fine, because then I hooked up with our friend's younger brother)...but he was my movie guy, and I love spending time with him, and he was the only one who would indulge in my obsession with McD's hotcakes even though i brought my own sugar-free syrup to McDonald's
(yes, i realize that i've said before how anti McD's i am, however in Canada it's not half as gross as here and I really do like their hotcakes..they're not even PANcakes....they're synthetic circular discs that taste fabulous in SF syrup).
Sigh. I think i'm just annoyed with how many times I've moved in my life. Christine finds it hilarious, and she tells people that I"m the "girl who ran away from home at 23 and went all the way to California...that's how much she hated her family"....and it's somewhat true (sad, but true), i DID run away....
Andyou know what? They say running away doesn't help. You know what doesn't help? Email and instant messenger...if my family can give me grief by IM, they might as well do it in person. Same diff. I don't know why I get into arguments via IM with my mom when i'm at work...i'm always one step away from throwing my keyboard at the monitor.
And why does 23 sound so young?! Why did I feel like such a big loser at 23 not knowing what I was doing with my life? Geezus i'm 28 and i still don't know what I want to be when i grow up!
(breathing into paper bag)
AND to add to the anxiety of today is that I didn't see the Whatever Clueless Edition at Target, which pissed me off 'cause i had to fight the Labor Day herd of cows in the parking lot on Monday, and they didn't even HAVE IT...i think i'll have to steal Kraig's best buy gift card and buy it there....if i don't watch that movie at least once a month, i get VERY cranky. And i don't want to have to watch my regular DVD.
Maybe all this anxiety is 'cause this is my "once in a blue moon PMS moment"...i NEVER get hormonal before mother nature's visit, i just gain a ton of water weight, but DANG i'm like hyper emotional today.
Must stay cool for the masses.
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