For anyone not in the know of this blog, I do NOT do just random new year's resolutions.
I do New Year's "goals"...things that are broken down to monthly goals so that they're easier to check off.
Needless to say, I really REALLY screwed up on 2008's goals. Ask me how many I accomplished. No really, ask. I dare you. And then I dare you to listen to hours of my excuses to why I was too much of a lazy ass to get any of them done.
So now it's time for a new goals...and dammit, i WILL stick to them. Please don't shoot me for recycling some stuff for last year's goals.
EVERY Month:
1. Okay, time to frickin' do monthly breast exams. I don't feel like i'm grown up enough to do them, and I don't think my 32As (Bs if i'm lucky) have enough tissue to actually GET cancer, but fine...I'll do it.
2. Vitamins. For real. I became an avid flosser after I got braces because I didn't want to get plaque marks, and I've been anal about it ever since. Now it's time to be equally obsessive about vitamins, supplements, whatever it takes to make my hair thick again and to compensate for my crappy-assed diet.
January
- complete my other website about cube life(it's already up if you're bored but it's nowhere near complete, email me for the link 'cause i'm not posting it here)
February
- Create the Team Bitches website
March
- got a few books that I need to hanker down and read...it'll be me, wine, and my books
April
- time to seriously just sell the last chunk of crap off ebay
May
At this point...honestly...to revisit my goals...'cause I can't even think that far in advance.
Ugh. 2009. Another year older.
I had to edit to add...
You know what? SUCK IT. When i grow up I want to be fabulous. I want to be Andrea Belladonna (Jennifer Esposito's character on Samantha Who?)...brilliance:
"Oh, I will be SO happy when you've finally experienced everything and that spark of wonder in your eyes finally goes dark again!"
"I hoped you were dead! I mean I heard you were dead. And then I hoped it was true."
"Honey, I'm an attorney. Web of deceit is where I get my mail."
So...2009 is going to be the year of fabulousness. It means not being apologetic for my shallow and age-fearing ways. Oh I'll give back to the world, don't you worry. But dammit...that's the overall plan.
Along with making sure I don't get breast cancer.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Trader Joe's RANT
I hate Trader Joe's.
I really do.
I hate that basic food staples there are like $5 (for milk? Come ON! WTF organic cows must be eating caviar). I hate that their stupid organic bread has no preservatives, and thus expire and get moldy after half a day. I hate that alot of their food doesn't taste as good as it should (their hummus is pretty bland).
What I mostly hate are the people who shop there. It's not really Trader Joe's fault. Their flyers are very well written and fun to read. But shoppers there are crazy hippies. Do you need to be a snob about your stupid tomato? And why do you need to take forever scoping out everything? They have 1/2 the selection and since everything is organic it lacks the aesthetic beauty of steroid-induced vegetables.
I've tasted some good 'ish from there, don't get me wrong. But nothing I've consumed there is worth the trek there, especially since Ralph's and Pavillion's have awesome selections of specialty foods, organic crap, and rare items.
My hatred came to a peak during the 2003 grocery store strike. That meant we all had to shop at Stater Brothers and Trader Joe's. Well apparently no one told the hippies this, because the lines wrapped outside the door didn't stop them from writing with checks.
Aside: if you ARE going to write a check, you can fill out EVERYTHING when you're in line. Get your ID out. Then when they give you the total, just write it out. And please don't use fancy cursive slow writing. Just scratch out some text, the cashier isn't your school marm. It's unacceptable that you start filling that stuff (in your one-letter-per-five-seconds writing) when you find out the balance. Then dont' act SHOCKED when you're asked for ID. I've never written a check in a store in my life but even I know that. This is a whole other rant, because no one visibly under the age of 50 should be writing checks. They take the cash out instantly, you might as well use a debit card. And for security reasons, you REALLY shouldn't be writing checks. Geezus.
Trader Joe's should have implemented no-check lanes during that time...it was horrific. I actually just gave up and crossed the picket lines, getting yelled at by irate cashiers and fearing for my car was SO much better than suffering through another line of hippies.
Today I had to go to Henry's as part of my hunt for Tazo Tea's Organic Apple Red flavor. That stuff is like crack, and obviously I'll go to even my most hated of places to find it. Yes, i'm willing to whore myself to the Hippie Man in order to get my tea. suck it.
Fortunately, oh happy day, THEY HAD IT! And on sale. So...maybe the Hippie isn't so bad after all.
And then as soon as I got to one of only two lanes open...my cashier had to stop to help out the other cashier who had a problem with her customer's check. Ugh.
I really do.
I hate that basic food staples there are like $5 (for milk? Come ON! WTF organic cows must be eating caviar). I hate that their stupid organic bread has no preservatives, and thus expire and get moldy after half a day. I hate that alot of their food doesn't taste as good as it should (their hummus is pretty bland).
What I mostly hate are the people who shop there. It's not really Trader Joe's fault. Their flyers are very well written and fun to read. But shoppers there are crazy hippies. Do you need to be a snob about your stupid tomato? And why do you need to take forever scoping out everything? They have 1/2 the selection and since everything is organic it lacks the aesthetic beauty of steroid-induced vegetables.
I've tasted some good 'ish from there, don't get me wrong. But nothing I've consumed there is worth the trek there, especially since Ralph's and Pavillion's have awesome selections of specialty foods, organic crap, and rare items.
My hatred came to a peak during the 2003 grocery store strike. That meant we all had to shop at Stater Brothers and Trader Joe's. Well apparently no one told the hippies this, because the lines wrapped outside the door didn't stop them from writing with checks.
Aside: if you ARE going to write a check, you can fill out EVERYTHING when you're in line. Get your ID out. Then when they give you the total, just write it out. And please don't use fancy cursive slow writing. Just scratch out some text, the cashier isn't your school marm. It's unacceptable that you start filling that stuff (in your one-letter-per-five-seconds writing) when you find out the balance. Then dont' act SHOCKED when you're asked for ID. I've never written a check in a store in my life but even I know that. This is a whole other rant, because no one visibly under the age of 50 should be writing checks. They take the cash out instantly, you might as well use a debit card. And for security reasons, you REALLY shouldn't be writing checks. Geezus.
Trader Joe's should have implemented no-check lanes during that time...it was horrific. I actually just gave up and crossed the picket lines, getting yelled at by irate cashiers and fearing for my car was SO much better than suffering through another line of hippies.
Today I had to go to Henry's as part of my hunt for Tazo Tea's Organic Apple Red flavor. That stuff is like crack, and obviously I'll go to even my most hated of places to find it. Yes, i'm willing to whore myself to the Hippie Man in order to get my tea. suck it.
Fortunately, oh happy day, THEY HAD IT! And on sale. So...maybe the Hippie isn't so bad after all.
And then as soon as I got to one of only two lanes open...my cashier had to stop to help out the other cashier who had a problem with her customer's check. Ugh.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
My brain hurts, but it's laughing
There's not point to this post other than to say, this image makes me laugh:
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sexiest men alive REVISITED
Okay people, re-read the last blog entry. I've updated it,explained why Daniel Craig didn't make the list, found an AWESOME picture of Milo, and added a non-celebrity to the list.
Now, everyone go take a cold shower and FOCUS!
Now, everyone go take a cold shower and FOCUS!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sexiest men alive
I swear, sometimes People Magazine has their head up their ass. Hugh Jackman is this year's sexiest man alive? Really? Ugh. Hot as Wolverine, not so hot elsewhere. So here's MY list of sexiest men alive...I started to put them in order but by the time I got to Nick Lachey it all became a blur, and I kept changing my mind...so just focus on #1 at the very least.
Ryan Reynolds
Ahhh, my love for him has spanned over a decade. Damn you Two Guys a Girl and a PIzza Place, damn you. I'll be his #1 fan Misery-style any day.
Dr. Drew
He's definitely the oldest guy on the list. But deeeeeep voice, combined with his crazy smart-ness (who doesn't love a doctor?!) and his biceps...dude is HOT. I bet he's hotter now than when he was in college.
Tom Welling
Tom Welling is a tough call. I've loved the guy since he started on Smallville, but then he went through a phase where he looked pudgy. Now that he's a full-on man past his teen years, he's bulked up quite nicely but his face still looks pudgy. Beefcase, beefcaaaaake!
Henry Cavill
Dude makes me wish for the days of candles, chamberpots, and scurvy.
Matt Damon
Matt Damon is such a great standby. He's got boy next door looks combined with an incredible physiqe (go Bourne!). He was fantastic on Will & Grace as a guy pretending to be gay. My dentist does his teeth, and she said he's the only dude who doesn't come without a posse.
Paul Rudd
Those eyes! That adorable nose! The fact he was in Clueless, my all-time favorite movie!
Nick Lachey
Team Lachey all the way. Jessica lost a good, good thing. You have to love a guy who is loaded but still rented his own damn U-Haul to move his crap. Frugal AND hot. My kind of guy.
Josh Holloway
Note that Josh is only hot as Sawyer. I don't want to see him clean cut in a suit. I want to see him unshaven, dirty, calling me "sugarlips" in a southern drawl.
Milo Ventimiglia
Thank you Heroes, for making Season 2 so awesome. Why? Because every episode ended up with Peter Petrelli taking his shirt off.
Paul Walker
Another great standby. Horrible actor. Once of those guys who just needs to stand there and flex. Shhhh...don't talk. Just look pretty.
Chase Crawford
Yay to Gossip Girl for giving Nate the most challenging storyline of all the characters, minus Chuck Bass of course. Chase looked a little less of a pretty boy and more of a tough guy, and when he DID cry...tears in those baby blues look so, so good.
Brandon Stoughton
Don't know who he is? He's the hot dude from Britney's "Womanizer" video. He might be illiterate, British, or club baby seals for all i know. What i DO know is that he's HOT. And he's got crazy veins in his Calvin Klein print ads...some people find that nasty, but i'm SUCH a sucker for that veins that guys get when they're working out alot.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Dude exudes sex like it's coming out of his pores. Every time I watch The Tudors, I just think "yadda yadda, get to the part where you're boning someone". He's got an intensity about him that makes you think he'll bone you good...or punch you. I dig it!
Jesse McCartney
Listen, he's legal! Get off my back! I love his hair, his skin, his HAIR, and he's just so damn adorable how can you NOT want to violate him?!
Dwayne Johnson
Another fantastic oldie-but-a-goodie standby. He's hilarious, he's buff, fantastic smile, and when he was in peak workout mode he dedicated one day a week to doughnuts.
DOUGHNUTS.
Next to poutine, doughnuts are my favorite food. It's a win-win for everyone.
Jason Lewis
What is up with him dating Vanessa from Gossip Girl now? Jessica-whats-her-face. Well props to her.
Seth Meyers
This is sort of my secret crush. I can't even EXPLAIN why he's sexy. He just is. Own it and rock it Seth!
Matthew McConaughey
I don't care that he plays bongos naked, named his kid Levi, or that he's got a bromance with Lance Armstrong. He plays the same character in every movie but it WORKS. And even if you go back to A Time To Kill, he was absolutely incredible. What can I say, I like them southern boys.
Clive Owen
Clive is such a tough call because his features alone aren't very attractive. He's got bad skin. He's got a jacked up nose. But together, he plays someone intimidatingly handsome. I could watch him paint a wall for hours and be enamored with his face.
Ryan Phillippe
Okay clearly in addition to southern boys, I like teen hearththrobs and pretty boys. But he looks even HOTTER when he's out being a good dad to his kids.
Jimmy Fallon
For my reasoning, refer to Seth Meyers.
James Todd Smith
Those LIPS. Plus he did that Sears (JC Penny? Whatever) commercial for his clothing line and he gave a LOOK to the camera for a split second...dude is just all around awesome. Plus those LIPS. PLUS the best best best sex song ever.
NOT on the list:
Orlando Bloom (ugh, he's too girly for me)
George Clooney (he's attractive, but not my type)
Johnny Depp (he looks fun, but i don't find him that good looking)
Hayden Christensen (he's gorgeous when he's turning evil/Darth Vader-ish...not good looking normally)
Hugh Jackman (he just looks hairy. ew)
Gerard Butler (he's mutha effing sexy as all hell in 300...but outside of CG and spartan clothing, he's just blegh)
Daniel Craig: HOT HOT HOT as James Bond...not hot elsewhere.
EDITED TO ADD:
How could I forget this sexy, sexy man?!!
Edited some more to add:
Good call from Jen! How could I forget this guy?
Joey McIntyre
Yep. He's got the right stuff. (hahah okay i couldn't resist. Even though that wasn't his song. But i did use to swoon at Please Don't Go Girl).
Edited to add from Jina's comment
I wouldn't put him top of the list, but yes VERY sexy...Jason Statham...he's the only balding celeb who's STILL hot regardless.
Edited to add after I watched Entourage last night:
What was I thinking?! I can't believe I forgot my boy Adrian Grenier! He's got such a cool nonchalance about him...i've adored him since he was in that stupid Drive Me Crazy movie.
And a note:
If Gregory Peck were still young...and alive...he'd be all over this list. He'd probably be tied with Ryan Reynolds. Atticus yeah!
FINAL EDITS:
Ohhhh Twinger, the only reason you're not on this list is 'cause you're not a celeb. Otherwise, you and your faux-hawk would be all over this :)
Ryan Reynolds
Ahhh, my love for him has spanned over a decade. Damn you Two Guys a Girl and a PIzza Place, damn you. I'll be his #1 fan Misery-style any day.
Dr. Drew
He's definitely the oldest guy on the list. But deeeeeep voice, combined with his crazy smart-ness (who doesn't love a doctor?!) and his biceps...dude is HOT. I bet he's hotter now than when he was in college.
Tom Welling
Tom Welling is a tough call. I've loved the guy since he started on Smallville, but then he went through a phase where he looked pudgy. Now that he's a full-on man past his teen years, he's bulked up quite nicely but his face still looks pudgy. Beefcase, beefcaaaaake!
Henry Cavill
Dude makes me wish for the days of candles, chamberpots, and scurvy.
Matt Damon
Matt Damon is such a great standby. He's got boy next door looks combined with an incredible physiqe (go Bourne!). He was fantastic on Will & Grace as a guy pretending to be gay. My dentist does his teeth, and she said he's the only dude who doesn't come without a posse.
Paul Rudd
Those eyes! That adorable nose! The fact he was in Clueless, my all-time favorite movie!
Nick Lachey
Team Lachey all the way. Jessica lost a good, good thing. You have to love a guy who is loaded but still rented his own damn U-Haul to move his crap. Frugal AND hot. My kind of guy.
Josh Holloway
Note that Josh is only hot as Sawyer. I don't want to see him clean cut in a suit. I want to see him unshaven, dirty, calling me "sugarlips" in a southern drawl.
Milo Ventimiglia
Thank you Heroes, for making Season 2 so awesome. Why? Because every episode ended up with Peter Petrelli taking his shirt off.
Paul Walker
Another great standby. Horrible actor. Once of those guys who just needs to stand there and flex. Shhhh...don't talk. Just look pretty.
Chase Crawford
Yay to Gossip Girl for giving Nate the most challenging storyline of all the characters, minus Chuck Bass of course. Chase looked a little less of a pretty boy and more of a tough guy, and when he DID cry...tears in those baby blues look so, so good.
Brandon Stoughton
Don't know who he is? He's the hot dude from Britney's "Womanizer" video. He might be illiterate, British, or club baby seals for all i know. What i DO know is that he's HOT. And he's got crazy veins in his Calvin Klein print ads...some people find that nasty, but i'm SUCH a sucker for that veins that guys get when they're working out alot.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Dude exudes sex like it's coming out of his pores. Every time I watch The Tudors, I just think "yadda yadda, get to the part where you're boning someone". He's got an intensity about him that makes you think he'll bone you good...or punch you. I dig it!
Jesse McCartney
Listen, he's legal! Get off my back! I love his hair, his skin, his HAIR, and he's just so damn adorable how can you NOT want to violate him?!
Dwayne Johnson
Another fantastic oldie-but-a-goodie standby. He's hilarious, he's buff, fantastic smile, and when he was in peak workout mode he dedicated one day a week to doughnuts.
DOUGHNUTS.
Next to poutine, doughnuts are my favorite food. It's a win-win for everyone.
Jason Lewis
What is up with him dating Vanessa from Gossip Girl now? Jessica-whats-her-face. Well props to her.
Seth Meyers
This is sort of my secret crush. I can't even EXPLAIN why he's sexy. He just is. Own it and rock it Seth!
Matthew McConaughey
I don't care that he plays bongos naked, named his kid Levi, or that he's got a bromance with Lance Armstrong. He plays the same character in every movie but it WORKS. And even if you go back to A Time To Kill, he was absolutely incredible. What can I say, I like them southern boys.
Clive Owen
Clive is such a tough call because his features alone aren't very attractive. He's got bad skin. He's got a jacked up nose. But together, he plays someone intimidatingly handsome. I could watch him paint a wall for hours and be enamored with his face.
Ryan Phillippe
Okay clearly in addition to southern boys, I like teen hearththrobs and pretty boys. But he looks even HOTTER when he's out being a good dad to his kids.
Jimmy Fallon
For my reasoning, refer to Seth Meyers.
James Todd Smith
Those LIPS. Plus he did that Sears (JC Penny? Whatever) commercial for his clothing line and he gave a LOOK to the camera for a split second...dude is just all around awesome. Plus those LIPS. PLUS the best best best sex song ever.
NOT on the list:
Orlando Bloom (ugh, he's too girly for me)
George Clooney (he's attractive, but not my type)
Johnny Depp (he looks fun, but i don't find him that good looking)
Hayden Christensen (he's gorgeous when he's turning evil/Darth Vader-ish...not good looking normally)
Hugh Jackman (he just looks hairy. ew)
Gerard Butler (he's mutha effing sexy as all hell in 300...but outside of CG and spartan clothing, he's just blegh)
Daniel Craig: HOT HOT HOT as James Bond...not hot elsewhere.
EDITED TO ADD:
How could I forget this sexy, sexy man?!!
Edited some more to add:
Good call from Jen! How could I forget this guy?
Joey McIntyre
Yep. He's got the right stuff. (hahah okay i couldn't resist. Even though that wasn't his song. But i did use to swoon at Please Don't Go Girl).
Edited to add from Jina's comment
I wouldn't put him top of the list, but yes VERY sexy...Jason Statham...he's the only balding celeb who's STILL hot regardless.
Edited to add after I watched Entourage last night:
What was I thinking?! I can't believe I forgot my boy Adrian Grenier! He's got such a cool nonchalance about him...i've adored him since he was in that stupid Drive Me Crazy movie.
And a note:
If Gregory Peck were still young...and alive...he'd be all over this list. He'd probably be tied with Ryan Reynolds. Atticus yeah!
FINAL EDITS:
Ohhhh Twinger, the only reason you're not on this list is 'cause you're not a celeb. Otherwise, you and your faux-hawk would be all over this :)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Bristol Park Medical office drones unite!
In this economy, how are there still office drones? I don't understand. I just don't. I get why DMV employees are retarded...they're government employees who's comparable-McDonald's-level job is protected. But in the private sector? Come on now. Really. Come on.
My conversation with the Office Drone at Bristol Park Medical in Mission Viejo went something like this:
Me: Hi, I'd like to make an apt with Dr. X.
Office Drone: ((gets my info))
Me: I need it anytime after Dec 1, the first appointment of the day please. Any day works.
Office Drone: I can do Dec 4th at 8:15.
Me: perfect. Don't you need to know what this is for?
Office Drone: What's this for?
Me: I need one of those "Well WOman" exam thingies.
Office Drone: You want what?
Me: uhh i can't really yell it. I'm at work. A yearly woman's exam.
Office Drone: OHHH. The "Well Woman" exam.
Me: yes (isn't that what i said?!)
Office Drone:When was your last one?
Me: December or January. It doesn't matter. I have new insurance.
Office Drone: Well i can look it up. Let me see....
Me: But i have NEW INSURANCE. It doesn't MATTER.
Office Drone: Oh that's right, new insurance, it doesn't matter. (laughs at herself). So you don't need a physical.
Me: I dont' know...i mean, i just want to get checked out. Annual exam.
Office Drone: Well that doesn't include a pap.
Me: okay well I want that too.
Office Drone: Well the Well Woman's exam doesn't include bloodwork.
Me: Well okay can't I have both then? I want everything checked out!
Office Drone: i can't schedule all of that on the 4th, there's not enough time.
Me: FINE then let's get a NEW date. ANY DAY WORKS.
Office Drone: Now when was your last exam...
Me: IT DOESN"T MATTER I HAVE NEW INSURANCE
Office Drone:You have new insurance?
Me: YES. It doesn't matter.
Office Drone: Okay so how about we schedule a physical exam, with a pap.
Me: GREAT!
Office Drone: How's December 16th at 8:15?
Me: Perfect. Done.
Office Drone: Are you on any medications?
Me: nope.
Office Drone: Okay.....(starts looking up something)
Me: (anticipating her "fast for 12 hours beforehand schpiel")
Office Drone: Fast for 12 hours beforehand, water is okay.
Me: (thinking)you can't tell me you had to LOOK THAT UP when you work in a doctor's office.
Office Drone:See you then!
Damn that woman better be glad she's employed in this tough economy.
My conversation with the Office Drone at Bristol Park Medical in Mission Viejo went something like this:
Me: Hi, I'd like to make an apt with Dr. X.
Office Drone: ((gets my info))
Me: I need it anytime after Dec 1, the first appointment of the day please. Any day works.
Office Drone: I can do Dec 4th at 8:15.
Me: perfect. Don't you need to know what this is for?
Office Drone: What's this for?
Me: I need one of those "Well WOman" exam thingies.
Office Drone: You want what?
Me: uhh i can't really yell it. I'm at work. A yearly woman's exam.
Office Drone: OHHH. The "Well Woman" exam.
Me: yes (isn't that what i said?!)
Office Drone:When was your last one?
Me: December or January. It doesn't matter. I have new insurance.
Office Drone: Well i can look it up. Let me see....
Me: But i have NEW INSURANCE. It doesn't MATTER.
Office Drone: Oh that's right, new insurance, it doesn't matter. (laughs at herself). So you don't need a physical.
Me: I dont' know...i mean, i just want to get checked out. Annual exam.
Office Drone: Well that doesn't include a pap.
Me: okay well I want that too.
Office Drone: Well the Well Woman's exam doesn't include bloodwork.
Me: Well okay can't I have both then? I want everything checked out!
Office Drone: i can't schedule all of that on the 4th, there's not enough time.
Me: FINE then let's get a NEW date. ANY DAY WORKS.
Office Drone: Now when was your last exam...
Me: IT DOESN"T MATTER I HAVE NEW INSURANCE
Office Drone:You have new insurance?
Me: YES. It doesn't matter.
Office Drone: Okay so how about we schedule a physical exam, with a pap.
Me: GREAT!
Office Drone: How's December 16th at 8:15?
Me: Perfect. Done.
Office Drone: Are you on any medications?
Me: nope.
Office Drone: Okay.....(starts looking up something)
Me: (anticipating her "fast for 12 hours beforehand schpiel")
Office Drone: Fast for 12 hours beforehand, water is okay.
Me: (thinking)you can't tell me you had to LOOK THAT UP when you work in a doctor's office.
Office Drone:See you then!
Damn that woman better be glad she's employed in this tough economy.
Monday, November 17, 2008
The website is down! For you techies
I'm by no means the most tech-savvy person on the planet, but I'm more technical than the average person so I feel comfortable saying that this is simply brilliant for a little homemade video.
The website is down!
Although it looks as if it's Windows NT or 95 that the sales guy has...which is a bit odd, and the tech guy goes from being on a Linux platform to a Mac, BUT i'm overthinking things...it's just highly entertaining for those of us who deal with anything tech at our desks all day. I bet Bryan can jump in and explain more :P
Thanks as always to my fellow cubicle drone Carrie :)
The website is down!
Although it looks as if it's Windows NT or 95 that the sales guy has...which is a bit odd, and the tech guy goes from being on a Linux platform to a Mac, BUT i'm overthinking things...it's just highly entertaining for those of us who deal with anything tech at our desks all day. I bet Bryan can jump in and explain more :P
Thanks as always to my fellow cubicle drone Carrie :)
Best. SNL. Ever.
Okay maybe this weekend wasn't the best EVER (I'm still a sucker for the old skool Ben Affleck ones, combined with him laughing during skits along with Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz)...but leave it to Paul Rudd to easily have the best episode of SNL this season (not so easy to do when you don't have Tina Fey to help out).
But the highlight was Justin TImberlake summarizing what WOULD have been next week's episode. I actually think he's a great actor, and all his SNL appearances have been fantabulous. Dude needs his own show.
Sorry for the crappiness, every other one I found had a 30 second commercial. I'm sure NBC is going to have this video removed, but theirs makes you watch a stupid toothpaste commercial before the skit.
Love that he did a small shout out to Jessica Biel.
But the highlight was Justin TImberlake summarizing what WOULD have been next week's episode. I actually think he's a great actor, and all his SNL appearances have been fantabulous. Dude needs his own show.
Sorry for the crappiness, every other one I found had a 30 second commercial. I'm sure NBC is going to have this video removed, but theirs makes you watch a stupid toothpaste commercial before the skit.
Love that he did a small shout out to Jessica Biel.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
More things a guy should know.
So Carrie and I are all about the skillz a dude should know. Along with what kind of car he should drive (give me an old truck vs. a new Mazda Miata any day). She passed along this link, and now I share with you...with my comments in red of course.
Links to other posts where I discussed skillz every man should know:
July 5 2008: When You Cockblock Yourself
December 5 2007: Stelllaaaaa
100 Skills Every Man Should Know: 2008's Ultimate DIY ListSource
Brains and charm are fine, but a real guy needs to know how to do real stuff. After months of debate among PM’s expert editors, here’s our lineup of essential skills for the competent man.
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
2. Drive in snow
PLEASE...anyone with a pulse who lives in the land of the cold knows this. Anyone with a DRIVER'S LICENSE should know this.
3. Check trouble codes
4. Replace fan belt
5. Wax a car
This isn't a "man should know" thing...not knowing how to wax a car is like not knowing how to read...the instructions are on the bottle.
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
Use a what now?
8. Hitch up a trailer
9. Jump-start a car
YES YES YES. I don't know how, but I have Geico. And i usually jump start my car from another dude's car, in which case, he's the one who's gotta know. True dat.
Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
11. Reverse hypothermia
12. Perform hands-only CPR
13. Escape a sinking car
I'm not saying the above aren't good to know...i just don't know if they're "requirements" for a guy to know.
Home
14. Carve a turkey
Men and meat. Of course! Every guy should be a meat expert...whether his own or another animal.
15. Use a sewing machine
Uhhh...no. I think I might count this as a "ding" against a guy. A guy should be able to sew a button or a hole...but a sewing machine?
16. Put out a fire
17. Home-brew beer
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric
Oxy Clean guys. Oxy Clean will do wonders.
19. Move heavy stuff
That's not a "skill"...hence why manual labor isn't SKILLED labor. Guys should just DO IT.
20. Grow food
Oh hell no. If a guy has a decent job, he can BUY his food. WTF retarded list writer was this?! Were they desperate for 100 things?!
21. Read an electric meter
22. Shovel the right way
Bend at the knees.
23. Solder wire
24. Tape drywall
25. Split firewood
YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Okay maybe not a requirement...I just have a not-so-secret obsession with guys who chop wood.
26. Replace a faucet washer
27. Mix concrete
28. Paint a straight line
Blue tape with that clear liquid stuff so the paint doesn't seep through the lines?
29. Use a French knife
A WHAT?
30. Prune bushes and small trees
31. Iron a shirt
Oh, so true. Seriously, SERIOUSLY...this is not like using the sewing machine. A guy who can iron a shirt shows refinement and that he's able to interview for a job. Extra props if he knows how to iron a WOMAN'S shirt (different issues...less fabric, but usually fitted and contains stretch.)
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
33. Change a single-pole switch
Yes. Simply: yes.
34. Fell a tree
Does this mean cut a tree and make it fall properly? I dunno...seems like something I'd rather just have an expert do...
35. Replace a broken windowpane
36. Set up a ladder, safely
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
38. Sweat copper tubing
39. Change a diaper
I don't expect a guy without a baby to know how to do this. Girls typically only know how because they had to babysit at some point in their lives. (I'm diaper changing machine yo!)
40. Grill with charcoal
YES! We've had this discussion before. Fire. Nothing is more man than fire. It is man at his most man!
41. Sew a button on a shirt
See my sewing machine comment.
42. Fold a flag
Yeah, because i'll have many opportunities to test a guy's knowledge on this one.
Medical
43. Treat frostbite
44. Treat a burn
45. Help a seizure victim
46. Treat a snakebite
47. Remove a tick
You know, I think Kraig actually could ace every single one of these. Yay for Discovery Channel!
Military Know-How
48. Shine shoes
49. Make a drum-tight bed
I'm actually anti-making the bed. It's ridiculous. I'm going to be back in it in another 16 hours, what's the point? My life is about efficiency. Making the bed is NOT an efficient use of one's time. Cleaning? Yes. Making the bed? That's purely aesthetic. I don't have time for aesthetics anymore in my life.
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
What guy CAN'T do that?
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
52. Hang food in the wild
53. Skipper a boat
54. Shoot straight
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
56. Escape a rip current
I think it's safe to say that all of the above has zero influence in my life. However,it's worth noting for women like Carrie who care about nature, outdoors, and clean air.
Survival
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
58. Build a shelter
59. Find potable water
Yeah...not so important for me. If there's a situation where I need potable water, I expect my guy to go next door and jack my neighbor's Arrowhead water stash.
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
61. Tornados
62. Cold
63. Heat
64. Lightning
How the eff can you test a guy for his TORNADO skillz? Although, I saw 20/20 on how to survive disasters...i'm good. During a tornado, you shoudn't go into a tunnel and cling to something...you need to be low in a ditch somewhere. Realistically, I'll be scooped up like a farm cow.
Teach Your Kids
65. Cast a line
YES. I don't know why this is important. Maybe because my dad is in the Coast Guard and gasp, he taught me how to fish. Granted, I also haven't caught anything since I was 8...but you know...I've gotz the fishing skillz. So a guy should too. ANything involving killing an animal (again: meat. yours or other animals) is very, very important.
66. Lend a hand
That's just etiquette wtf.
67. Change a tire
On so many levels, this is so important. If you're a guy reading this, and you can't do it...well feel free to mail me your balls. I'll see if I can find a spare vagina for you. If you know how to change that at least. Do *I* know how? I could, in theory. As in, I can direct someone. Do i have the strength? Not really. Do I have Geico with roadside assistance? Hell yeah.
68. Throw a spiral
Is this football?
69. Fly a stunt kite
70. Drive a stick shift
This is up there in the top 5 most important things a guy should know. Along with starting a fire. I wish I knew how, but Kraig destroyed his last car that was stick so I never got a chance. I've only ever been with ONE guy who didn't know how to drive stick and it's safe to say my respect level for him was low low lowwwww.
71. Parallel park
Once again, desperate to add to the list maybe? If you passed your road test, you can parallel park. Amazingly I can PP really well on my own...but when someone is in the car attempting to navigate me, I get all freaked out and run over curbs.
72. Tie a bowline
WTF is that?
73. Tie a necktie
74. Whittle
75. Ride a bike
If you can't ride a bike, or teach someone else how to, then you should just do society a favor and kill yourself. Item #101: know how to kill self.
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
It's like installing any other card. But in this day and age of laptops taking over PCs, this isn't so pertinent anymore. It's like, know how to hand crank your car.
77. Take the perfect portrait
Like a guy cares. Wtf. This is a CHICK thing.
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
Or any tv settings. yes, absolutely important.
79. Shoot a home movie
80. Ditch your hard drive
Master These Key Workshop Tools
81. Drill driver
82. Grease gun
83. Coolant hydrometer
84. Socket wrench
85. Test light
86. Brick trowel
87. Framing hammer
88. Wood chisel
89. Spade bit
90. Circular saw
91. Sledge hammer
92. Hacksaw
93. Torque wrench
94. Air wrench
95. Infrared thermometer
96. Sand blaster
97. Crosscut saw
98. Hand plane
99. Multimeter
100. Feeler gauges
I don't know what even half of those are, but it seems like good things to know. Better than sewing that's for damn sure.
Links to other posts where I discussed skillz every man should know:
July 5 2008: When You Cockblock Yourself
December 5 2007: Stelllaaaaa
100 Skills Every Man Should Know: 2008's Ultimate DIY ListSource
Brains and charm are fine, but a real guy needs to know how to do real stuff. After months of debate among PM’s expert editors, here’s our lineup of essential skills for the competent man.
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
2. Drive in snow
PLEASE...anyone with a pulse who lives in the land of the cold knows this. Anyone with a DRIVER'S LICENSE should know this.
3. Check trouble codes
4. Replace fan belt
5. Wax a car
This isn't a "man should know" thing...not knowing how to wax a car is like not knowing how to read...the instructions are on the bottle.
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
Use a what now?
8. Hitch up a trailer
9. Jump-start a car
YES YES YES. I don't know how, but I have Geico. And i usually jump start my car from another dude's car, in which case, he's the one who's gotta know. True dat.
Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
11. Reverse hypothermia
12. Perform hands-only CPR
13. Escape a sinking car
I'm not saying the above aren't good to know...i just don't know if they're "requirements" for a guy to know.
Home
14. Carve a turkey
Men and meat. Of course! Every guy should be a meat expert...whether his own or another animal.
15. Use a sewing machine
Uhhh...no. I think I might count this as a "ding" against a guy. A guy should be able to sew a button or a hole...but a sewing machine?
16. Put out a fire
17. Home-brew beer
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric
Oxy Clean guys. Oxy Clean will do wonders.
19. Move heavy stuff
That's not a "skill"...hence why manual labor isn't SKILLED labor. Guys should just DO IT.
20. Grow food
Oh hell no. If a guy has a decent job, he can BUY his food. WTF retarded list writer was this?! Were they desperate for 100 things?!
21. Read an electric meter
22. Shovel the right way
Bend at the knees.
23. Solder wire
24. Tape drywall
25. Split firewood
YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Okay maybe not a requirement...I just have a not-so-secret obsession with guys who chop wood.
26. Replace a faucet washer
27. Mix concrete
28. Paint a straight line
Blue tape with that clear liquid stuff so the paint doesn't seep through the lines?
29. Use a French knife
A WHAT?
30. Prune bushes and small trees
31. Iron a shirt
Oh, so true. Seriously, SERIOUSLY...this is not like using the sewing machine. A guy who can iron a shirt shows refinement and that he's able to interview for a job. Extra props if he knows how to iron a WOMAN'S shirt (different issues...less fabric, but usually fitted and contains stretch.)
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
33. Change a single-pole switch
Yes. Simply: yes.
34. Fell a tree
Does this mean cut a tree and make it fall properly? I dunno...seems like something I'd rather just have an expert do...
35. Replace a broken windowpane
36. Set up a ladder, safely
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
38. Sweat copper tubing
39. Change a diaper
I don't expect a guy without a baby to know how to do this. Girls typically only know how because they had to babysit at some point in their lives. (I'm diaper changing machine yo!)
40. Grill with charcoal
YES! We've had this discussion before. Fire. Nothing is more man than fire. It is man at his most man!
41. Sew a button on a shirt
See my sewing machine comment.
42. Fold a flag
Yeah, because i'll have many opportunities to test a guy's knowledge on this one.
Medical
43. Treat frostbite
44. Treat a burn
45. Help a seizure victim
46. Treat a snakebite
47. Remove a tick
You know, I think Kraig actually could ace every single one of these. Yay for Discovery Channel!
Military Know-How
48. Shine shoes
49. Make a drum-tight bed
I'm actually anti-making the bed. It's ridiculous. I'm going to be back in it in another 16 hours, what's the point? My life is about efficiency. Making the bed is NOT an efficient use of one's time. Cleaning? Yes. Making the bed? That's purely aesthetic. I don't have time for aesthetics anymore in my life.
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
What guy CAN'T do that?
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
52. Hang food in the wild
53. Skipper a boat
54. Shoot straight
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
56. Escape a rip current
I think it's safe to say that all of the above has zero influence in my life. However,it's worth noting for women like Carrie who care about nature, outdoors, and clean air.
Survival
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
58. Build a shelter
59. Find potable water
Yeah...not so important for me. If there's a situation where I need potable water, I expect my guy to go next door and jack my neighbor's Arrowhead water stash.
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
61. Tornados
62. Cold
63. Heat
64. Lightning
How the eff can you test a guy for his TORNADO skillz? Although, I saw 20/20 on how to survive disasters...i'm good. During a tornado, you shoudn't go into a tunnel and cling to something...you need to be low in a ditch somewhere. Realistically, I'll be scooped up like a farm cow.
Teach Your Kids
65. Cast a line
YES. I don't know why this is important. Maybe because my dad is in the Coast Guard and gasp, he taught me how to fish. Granted, I also haven't caught anything since I was 8...but you know...I've gotz the fishing skillz. So a guy should too. ANything involving killing an animal (again: meat. yours or other animals) is very, very important.
66. Lend a hand
That's just etiquette wtf.
67. Change a tire
On so many levels, this is so important. If you're a guy reading this, and you can't do it...well feel free to mail me your balls. I'll see if I can find a spare vagina for you. If you know how to change that at least. Do *I* know how? I could, in theory. As in, I can direct someone. Do i have the strength? Not really. Do I have Geico with roadside assistance? Hell yeah.
68. Throw a spiral
Is this football?
69. Fly a stunt kite
70. Drive a stick shift
This is up there in the top 5 most important things a guy should know. Along with starting a fire. I wish I knew how, but Kraig destroyed his last car that was stick so I never got a chance. I've only ever been with ONE guy who didn't know how to drive stick and it's safe to say my respect level for him was low low lowwwww.
71. Parallel park
Once again, desperate to add to the list maybe? If you passed your road test, you can parallel park. Amazingly I can PP really well on my own...but when someone is in the car attempting to navigate me, I get all freaked out and run over curbs.
72. Tie a bowline
WTF is that?
73. Tie a necktie
74. Whittle
75. Ride a bike
If you can't ride a bike, or teach someone else how to, then you should just do society a favor and kill yourself. Item #101: know how to kill self.
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
It's like installing any other card. But in this day and age of laptops taking over PCs, this isn't so pertinent anymore. It's like, know how to hand crank your car.
77. Take the perfect portrait
Like a guy cares. Wtf. This is a CHICK thing.
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
Or any tv settings. yes, absolutely important.
79. Shoot a home movie
80. Ditch your hard drive
Master These Key Workshop Tools
81. Drill driver
82. Grease gun
83. Coolant hydrometer
84. Socket wrench
85. Test light
86. Brick trowel
87. Framing hammer
88. Wood chisel
89. Spade bit
90. Circular saw
91. Sledge hammer
92. Hacksaw
93. Torque wrench
94. Air wrench
95. Infrared thermometer
96. Sand blaster
97. Crosscut saw
98. Hand plane
99. Multimeter
100. Feeler gauges
I don't know what even half of those are, but it seems like good things to know. Better than sewing that's for damn sure.
No...really...i adore Paul Rudd
The only sad thing about living on the west coast is that SNL isn't live...I hate seeing that "previously recorded" crap.
Going to visit Rony (aka Tony and Rena) this weekend in LA, but I don't care WHAT time i get home...must...see...Paul...Rudd...
Going to visit Rony (aka Tony and Rena) this weekend in LA, but I don't care WHAT time i get home...must...see...Paul...Rudd...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Of poppies and 2 minute silence
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
For non-Canadian folks: this is what Canadian kids recite in school on Rememberence Day.
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
For non-Canadian folks: this is what Canadian kids recite in school on Rememberence Day.
Brilliant. If you have to read anything, read this.
Hands-down, one of the best things I've ever read. Or just looked at. If you have only ONE thing to read today, you HAVE to see this...i don't know if it makes me feel better about my photoshopping skillz or that I'm human and not airbrushed...
Bad photoshopping mistakes in Hollywood
Bad photoshopping mistakes in Hollywood
Monday, November 10, 2008
I'm going to be sick. Seriously.
I've decided to chart my aging through the years (in case later i might want a record of it...or my kids, if they want to know the exact years their body will fall apart)...my latest beefs are the spider veins in my calves. I RARELY, if ever (I mean, maybe 2x a year) cross my legs because I read as a teenager never to do that.
Well, my calves have them. And it's pissing me off. Yay for Age 31 Woes.
It takes ALOT to gross me out. Alot. I watch Dr. 90210, surgery shows, whatever. I love watching my blood being taken. I would love to SEE a surgery take place.
But when it comes to spider/varicose vein options, i get the heebie jeebies.
If i have to do this, I'm going to seriously vomit my intestinal track.
I just looked up the solution to spider veins and now i'm seriously squirming in my seat, tensing my muscles, and i'm ready to cry I'm so effing freaked out.
Sclerotherapy
This is the most common treatment for both spider veins and varicose veins. The doctor injects a solution into the vein that causes the vein walls to swell, stick together, and seal shut. This stops the flow of blood and the vein turns into scar tissue. In a few weeks, the vein should fade. The same vein may need to be treated more than once.
This treatment is very effective if done the right way. Most patients can expect a 50% to 90% improvement. Microsclerotherapy uses special solutions and injection techniques that increase the success rate for removal of spider veins. Sclerotherapy does not require anesthesia, and can be done in the doctor's office.
Possible side effects include:
Temporary stinging or painful cramps where the injection was made
Temporary red raised patches of skin where the injection was made
Temporary small skin sores where the injection was made
Temporary bruises where the injection was made
Spots around the treated vein that usually disappear
Brown lines around the treated vein that usually disappear
Groups of fine red blood vessels around the treated vein that usually disappear
The treated vein can also become inflamed or develop lumps of clotted blood. This is not dangerous. Applying heat and taking aspirin or antibiotics can relieve inflammation. Lumps of coagulated blood can be drained.
why does the human body f*cking suck?! Or more importantly, MINE?!
So far this is my list of ailments per age:
early 20s: cellulite (i mean, BAD cellulite)
28: forehead wrinkes, signs of age on hands
29: crow's feet, thinning eyelashes
30: thinning hair, undereye wrinkles that DONT shrink back after squinting (and i wear sunglasses diligently! WTF!)
31: spider veins
In order to pre-emptively avoid freaking out over more things, i've taken the following actions:
1. I will just keep dying my hair. I will go postal if i see a grey hair. Might as well just do it now.
2. I've started waxing my chin. Now i don't have anything there, thank GOD, but i once had a bunch of older women telling me that that's a massive thing that happens when you get old. Granted, they were in their late 50s, but who knows when that facial chin hair situation started. I'd rather not deal with one day finding it OR even worse, not even REALIZING i have it. So i'm just going to slather my face with wax regularly and if nothing comes off, great. If so, well, at least i nipped it in the bud before i'm 60.
Attempting to preserve your youth is ALOT of effing work, costs alot of effing money (yay for free samples from plastic surgeons' offices), and TIME which is the hardest of all things to comes by.
Oh, i've also started using the bottle of Phyto-Axil that I bought kraig like 7 years ago from when we started dating. Figured it's in a pressurized can so it can't go bad...
Well, my calves have them. And it's pissing me off. Yay for Age 31 Woes.
It takes ALOT to gross me out. Alot. I watch Dr. 90210, surgery shows, whatever. I love watching my blood being taken. I would love to SEE a surgery take place.
But when it comes to spider/varicose vein options, i get the heebie jeebies.
If i have to do this, I'm going to seriously vomit my intestinal track.
I just looked up the solution to spider veins and now i'm seriously squirming in my seat, tensing my muscles, and i'm ready to cry I'm so effing freaked out.
Sclerotherapy
This is the most common treatment for both spider veins and varicose veins. The doctor injects a solution into the vein that causes the vein walls to swell, stick together, and seal shut. This stops the flow of blood and the vein turns into scar tissue. In a few weeks, the vein should fade. The same vein may need to be treated more than once.
This treatment is very effective if done the right way. Most patients can expect a 50% to 90% improvement. Microsclerotherapy uses special solutions and injection techniques that increase the success rate for removal of spider veins. Sclerotherapy does not require anesthesia, and can be done in the doctor's office.
Possible side effects include:
Temporary stinging or painful cramps where the injection was made
Temporary red raised patches of skin where the injection was made
Temporary small skin sores where the injection was made
Temporary bruises where the injection was made
Spots around the treated vein that usually disappear
Brown lines around the treated vein that usually disappear
Groups of fine red blood vessels around the treated vein that usually disappear
The treated vein can also become inflamed or develop lumps of clotted blood. This is not dangerous. Applying heat and taking aspirin or antibiotics can relieve inflammation. Lumps of coagulated blood can be drained.
why does the human body f*cking suck?! Or more importantly, MINE?!
So far this is my list of ailments per age:
early 20s: cellulite (i mean, BAD cellulite)
28: forehead wrinkes, signs of age on hands
29: crow's feet, thinning eyelashes
30: thinning hair, undereye wrinkles that DONT shrink back after squinting (and i wear sunglasses diligently! WTF!)
31: spider veins
In order to pre-emptively avoid freaking out over more things, i've taken the following actions:
1. I will just keep dying my hair. I will go postal if i see a grey hair. Might as well just do it now.
2. I've started waxing my chin. Now i don't have anything there, thank GOD, but i once had a bunch of older women telling me that that's a massive thing that happens when you get old. Granted, they were in their late 50s, but who knows when that facial chin hair situation started. I'd rather not deal with one day finding it OR even worse, not even REALIZING i have it. So i'm just going to slather my face with wax regularly and if nothing comes off, great. If so, well, at least i nipped it in the bud before i'm 60.
Attempting to preserve your youth is ALOT of effing work, costs alot of effing money (yay for free samples from plastic surgeons' offices), and TIME which is the hardest of all things to comes by.
Oh, i've also started using the bottle of Phyto-Axil that I bought kraig like 7 years ago from when we started dating. Figured it's in a pressurized can so it can't go bad...
Friday, November 07, 2008
San Jose trip + pics + adventures in hooking up
i'm so behind on posting pics, it's unreal. Here's the link to my trek to San Jose a few weekends ago:
yee haw pic link
A few key notes:
I bought a Sony Bravia XBR 32" 1080p tv. With an employee discount. That with taxes and additional warranty (if i could get insurance for my soul, i would. I insure EVERYTHING), came to around $1100. SADLY...our house is pre-wired for satellite, but it's a coaxial cable, not an HDMI cable...kraig's frickin' 1080i tv is downstairs connected to the box, so we get HD there fine...but in order to get HD on my tv in the bedroom, we need to run an HDMI cable from downstairs to upstairs. GRRRR! If i had known taht, i woudln't have made my "impulse" buy.
Also, these pics have include some of a dude in a bar (shutterfly wont allow me to link their pics anymore to post elsewhere...damn you shutterfly! time to check out Kodak's site)...I believe Jen spotted him first, this adorable guy wearing a USC shirt. I did some reconnaissance work and learned he was single, a journalist, and very willing to buy a chick a beer. So we shoved Wendy his way and then bailed to head back to Jen's place. What seems like a lifetime later Wendy finally shows up...and tells us that the poor sap was young and boring!
Dude was HOT...boring is a non-issue.
I'm so glad i got to see my san jose peeps! Thanks you guys for coming out :)
yee haw pic link
A few key notes:
I bought a Sony Bravia XBR 32" 1080p tv. With an employee discount. That with taxes and additional warranty (if i could get insurance for my soul, i would. I insure EVERYTHING), came to around $1100. SADLY...our house is pre-wired for satellite, but it's a coaxial cable, not an HDMI cable...kraig's frickin' 1080i tv is downstairs connected to the box, so we get HD there fine...but in order to get HD on my tv in the bedroom, we need to run an HDMI cable from downstairs to upstairs. GRRRR! If i had known taht, i woudln't have made my "impulse" buy.
Also, these pics have include some of a dude in a bar (shutterfly wont allow me to link their pics anymore to post elsewhere...damn you shutterfly! time to check out Kodak's site)...I believe Jen spotted him first, this adorable guy wearing a USC shirt. I did some reconnaissance work and learned he was single, a journalist, and very willing to buy a chick a beer. So we shoved Wendy his way and then bailed to head back to Jen's place. What seems like a lifetime later Wendy finally shows up...and tells us that the poor sap was young and boring!
Dude was HOT...boring is a non-issue.
I'm so glad i got to see my san jose peeps! Thanks you guys for coming out :)
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Letter to the editor
You can do it Sabina..U can train to be a marathon runner...
try a half marathon 1st. Come on goal by your 35th birthday :)
I will defer to Carrie to answer why I will not even be able to do a half marathon. (her experience coming from someone who did a marathon AND as someone who did a piddly 5k with me)
and to whatever she says, let me add: marathons do jack up your body...I have a jacked up knee (it burns after 10 minutes of running), you lose your toes, you get chafing and bloody, and it's super hard on the joints. Ummm...I'm too vain to do any activity that can cause any of those results.
If there was a 100% guarantee Ryan Reynolds will be there, then I'll reconsider :P
try a half marathon 1st. Come on goal by your 35th birthday :)
I will defer to Carrie to answer why I will not even be able to do a half marathon. (her experience coming from someone who did a marathon AND as someone who did a piddly 5k with me)
and to whatever she says, let me add: marathons do jack up your body...I have a jacked up knee (it burns after 10 minutes of running), you lose your toes, you get chafing and bloody, and it's super hard on the joints. Ummm...I'm too vain to do any activity that can cause any of those results.
If there was a 100% guarantee Ryan Reynolds will be there, then I'll reconsider :P
Picture of Dorian Gray
Maybe because the end is nigh on my 31st year, i'm starting to really, REALLY freak out about getting old.
It all started when i was 18...but that was a bit easier 'cause that's legal drinking age in Canada.
Then turning 20 was hard because I remember when I was 5 I told myself "when i get old, when i turn 20, i'm going to use creams like mom does". I seriously went a bit postal. But...there's only so much postal you can go when you're in university.
25 was hard because...well now you're in your mid-20s.
26 was hard because i was no longer "just turned mid 20s".
27 was hard because I could no longer ride on the coattails of 25 like i did when i was 26.
28 was hard because I was now "late 20s"
29 was hard because it was my last year in my 20s.
30 was hard because...well hello, I was 30. And not at all where i wanted to be in my life. PLUS...let's be real. When you're in your teens and 20s, your 30s are considered old. All things young and stupid must officially be over.
When you're 30, you can't wear sparkly blue eyeshadow clubbing unless it's hallowe'en.
31 wasn't so bad, mostly because I freaked out so much the previous few years, i sort of got it out of my system.
Now the number doesn't bug me anymore...I'm over it.
What REALLY bugs me are the physical changes.
Cellulite seems to grow exponentially each year. And I'm in the same weight range as I was in highschool.
Botox is too expensive, but it was the best preventative thing I had ever done. If there's ONE thing i could do every 6 months, that would be it.
I use Oil of Olay Regenerist because it got the highest reviews on Consumer Reports. If i use CR to buy my washer, dryer, and car...damn right i'm going to trust it for my skin.
I started dying my hair when I moved to California because the sun here lightens my natural color a few shades...so I just dye it back to the roots color. NOW...i've realized this is the perfect way to never have to face when i get grey hair. Seriously the odd time I've thought i've seen a grey hair, I went beserk. Best to treat hair dye as botox: preventative. (except in this case, it's preventing mental insanity).
Probably the best solution long term has been getting a prescription for Tetracycline...i'm horrible at taking it, but damn if my skin isn't flawless when i use it. All parents should take their teen for a prescription. I gave some of mine to Kraig's nephew and within a week his face was all cleared up. AND you don't build resistance to it like cipro. AND it's covered under insurance. Golden.
There's a few more "projects" related to aging that i need to tackle:
1. Wrinkles. Can't afford botox...and there's only so much Oil of Olay that can be slathered on.
2. The undereye situation. I used to be VERY self-conscious over teh dark circles under my eyes (thanks Dad...inherited those from the Indian side of me). But i noticed from the NY pics that I've got "furrows" now under the dark circles...I can use concealer for the circles, but i can't cover up deep grooves.
3. My thinning hair. Argh even Syl noticed it when she came here...compared to highschool, it's soooo much less. The culprit is definitely the daily blowdrying...plus the horrible diet i've had this year (damn job hopping and stress). So i'm working on that by eating better now finally, taking vitamins, and avoiding the blow dryer.
4. My thinning eyelashes. This I blame on mascara. I only started wearing it when i moved to SoCal...i was quite anti-mascara because when you see somene go WITHOUT, they look like ass. I just didn't want to give people the view of how i WOULD look...but then I got vain and started using it daily. i'm trying to now just use it on the very tips of my eyelashes.
To tackle item 4, i did a massive MASSIVE splurge: i got Age Intervention. That sh*t better work (it got recalled but they brought it back...naturally without the working ingredient that also jacked up people's eyes).
Why is it that women work their asses off to preserve their beauty but guys do JACK?! They don't fix their newfound nose hair, their newfound earhair, their additional back hair, their lack of head hair, their skin, everything. Unless their married and their wives make them. So bloody annoying. Plus they get overweight, they just have to go to the gym for a week and suddenly their all buff.
So anyway, this was my news flash. My age doesn't but me as much anymore. AGING now really, really bugs me. Spread the news.
It all started when i was 18...but that was a bit easier 'cause that's legal drinking age in Canada.
Then turning 20 was hard because I remember when I was 5 I told myself "when i get old, when i turn 20, i'm going to use creams like mom does". I seriously went a bit postal. But...there's only so much postal you can go when you're in university.
25 was hard because...well now you're in your mid-20s.
26 was hard because i was no longer "just turned mid 20s".
27 was hard because I could no longer ride on the coattails of 25 like i did when i was 26.
28 was hard because I was now "late 20s"
29 was hard because it was my last year in my 20s.
30 was hard because...well hello, I was 30. And not at all where i wanted to be in my life. PLUS...let's be real. When you're in your teens and 20s, your 30s are considered old. All things young and stupid must officially be over.
When you're 30, you can't wear sparkly blue eyeshadow clubbing unless it's hallowe'en.
31 wasn't so bad, mostly because I freaked out so much the previous few years, i sort of got it out of my system.
Now the number doesn't bug me anymore...I'm over it.
What REALLY bugs me are the physical changes.
Cellulite seems to grow exponentially each year. And I'm in the same weight range as I was in highschool.
Botox is too expensive, but it was the best preventative thing I had ever done. If there's ONE thing i could do every 6 months, that would be it.
I use Oil of Olay Regenerist because it got the highest reviews on Consumer Reports. If i use CR to buy my washer, dryer, and car...damn right i'm going to trust it for my skin.
I started dying my hair when I moved to California because the sun here lightens my natural color a few shades...so I just dye it back to the roots color. NOW...i've realized this is the perfect way to never have to face when i get grey hair. Seriously the odd time I've thought i've seen a grey hair, I went beserk. Best to treat hair dye as botox: preventative. (except in this case, it's preventing mental insanity).
Probably the best solution long term has been getting a prescription for Tetracycline...i'm horrible at taking it, but damn if my skin isn't flawless when i use it. All parents should take their teen for a prescription. I gave some of mine to Kraig's nephew and within a week his face was all cleared up. AND you don't build resistance to it like cipro. AND it's covered under insurance. Golden.
There's a few more "projects" related to aging that i need to tackle:
1. Wrinkles. Can't afford botox...and there's only so much Oil of Olay that can be slathered on.
2. The undereye situation. I used to be VERY self-conscious over teh dark circles under my eyes (thanks Dad...inherited those from the Indian side of me). But i noticed from the NY pics that I've got "furrows" now under the dark circles...I can use concealer for the circles, but i can't cover up deep grooves.
3. My thinning hair. Argh even Syl noticed it when she came here...compared to highschool, it's soooo much less. The culprit is definitely the daily blowdrying...plus the horrible diet i've had this year (damn job hopping and stress). So i'm working on that by eating better now finally, taking vitamins, and avoiding the blow dryer.
4. My thinning eyelashes. This I blame on mascara. I only started wearing it when i moved to SoCal...i was quite anti-mascara because when you see somene go WITHOUT, they look like ass. I just didn't want to give people the view of how i WOULD look...but then I got vain and started using it daily. i'm trying to now just use it on the very tips of my eyelashes.
To tackle item 4, i did a massive MASSIVE splurge: i got Age Intervention. That sh*t better work (it got recalled but they brought it back...naturally without the working ingredient that also jacked up people's eyes).
Why is it that women work their asses off to preserve their beauty but guys do JACK?! They don't fix their newfound nose hair, their newfound earhair, their additional back hair, their lack of head hair, their skin, everything. Unless their married and their wives make them. So bloody annoying. Plus they get overweight, they just have to go to the gym for a week and suddenly their all buff.
So anyway, this was my news flash. My age doesn't but me as much anymore. AGING now really, really bugs me. Spread the news.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Does running a marthon count if you're stalking someone?
Yes, so many blogs to post, pictures to post...haven't been around...I still need to post my San Jose trip stuff...and tomorrow i gotta get around to posting a Canadian's Guide to Voting in America.
But for now, I give you his royal hotness, Ryan Reynolds,who ran the NY city marathon this past weekend. First off, I was just IN new york...they couldn't have had that damn marathon a few weeks earlier? Secondly, why am I not training for marathons if he's going to be in them? And Thirdly, why didn't that mofo run the San Diego one, which I was there for?!
Okay so I wouldn't train either way, but Carrie or Janet could and then I'd have an excuse to watch. Although, really, if I'm following behind him...does that count as stalking...for 4 hours?
Boy is fiiiiine. so damn fine. They really need to bring back 2 Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place so that I can see him weekly. F*cking ScarJo.
But for now, I give you his royal hotness, Ryan Reynolds,who ran the NY city marathon this past weekend. First off, I was just IN new york...they couldn't have had that damn marathon a few weeks earlier? Secondly, why am I not training for marathons if he's going to be in them? And Thirdly, why didn't that mofo run the San Diego one, which I was there for?!
Okay so I wouldn't train either way, but Carrie or Janet could and then I'd have an excuse to watch. Although, really, if I'm following behind him...does that count as stalking...for 4 hours?
Boy is fiiiiine. so damn fine. They really need to bring back 2 Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place so that I can see him weekly. F*cking ScarJo.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Best. Site. Ever. Period.
If i ever had to live on a deserted island and I was only allowed one website, I would have to pick this blog, hands down:
Blonde cube dweller: I can't get this damn profile to load. Now my screen froze! Fuck this, I'll be a stripper!
I get it straight as an RSS feed to my inbox, and I can honestly say it is the only thing that consistently makes me HAPPY.
THIS SITE MAKES ME HAPPY. Happier than Poutine, dare I say it.
People just post snippets of the retarded crap they've overheard at work. they're mostly just one-liners. Some great ones:
Supervisor: Can you send this letter to The Netherlands?
Receptionist: Where's Neverland?
Male coworker to female coworker: I like your shirt.
Female coworker: Thanks. It's new.
Male coworker: The ruching makes your boobs look really perky.
(awkward pause)
Male coworker: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm gay.
Female worker: Yeah, you had me at "ruching"
(omg i'm crying laughing as I post these)
Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
(in the restroom)
Man #1: You wanna shake it for me when I'm done?
Man #2: What would your wife think?
Man #1: As long as it's not a woman, she doesn't care.
Coworker: Stephanie [the manager] isn't here, so we can say "taint" and "dirty sanchez" all we want!
Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
Girl: I've read To Kill a Mockingbird.
Manager of maintenance staff, yelling to distant peons: Have you seen a bag with two turkey basters and a jar of vaseline?
I swear this is something that *I* would say:
Coworker #1: You know, Diana* is leaving to move to Austin.
Coworker #2 (bitter and disappointed): I hate it when people leave.
Coworker #3: Really? I like it because we get snacks.
This is real stuff people! Too funny.
Sales peon: You'll have to excuse my intelligence, sir.
Nosey cube dweller: What are you doing after work?
Neighbor of nosey cube drone: Minding my own business. Why, what are you doing?
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
ONE OF THE BEST ONES:
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Customer: It smells like incest in here... Wait, no, incense.
Manager: How dare my BlackBerry not know how to spell "transvestite?" That's just rude
Teacher: I just love children!
(silence in the room)
Teacher: Medically speaking, of course...
Cube dweller #1: So then "groom," like the horse kind.
Cube dweller #2: Uh, okay, or like the husband.
Cube dweller #3: Or the thing you clean your kitchen with.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, that's a "broom."
Consultant #1 (reading online purity test): Have you ever slept with a relative?
Consultant #2: Define "relative."
Blonde cube dweller: I can't get this damn profile to load. Now my screen froze! Fuck this, I'll be a stripper!
I get it straight as an RSS feed to my inbox, and I can honestly say it is the only thing that consistently makes me HAPPY.
THIS SITE MAKES ME HAPPY. Happier than Poutine, dare I say it.
People just post snippets of the retarded crap they've overheard at work. they're mostly just one-liners. Some great ones:
Supervisor: Can you send this letter to The Netherlands?
Receptionist: Where's Neverland?
Male coworker to female coworker: I like your shirt.
Female coworker: Thanks. It's new.
Male coworker: The ruching makes your boobs look really perky.
(awkward pause)
Male coworker: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm gay.
Female worker: Yeah, you had me at "ruching"
(omg i'm crying laughing as I post these)
Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
(in the restroom)
Man #1: You wanna shake it for me when I'm done?
Man #2: What would your wife think?
Man #1: As long as it's not a woman, she doesn't care.
Coworker: Stephanie [the manager] isn't here, so we can say "taint" and "dirty sanchez" all we want!
Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
Girl: I've read To Kill a Mockingbird.
Manager of maintenance staff, yelling to distant peons: Have you seen a bag with two turkey basters and a jar of vaseline?
I swear this is something that *I* would say:
Coworker #1: You know, Diana* is leaving to move to Austin.
Coworker #2 (bitter and disappointed): I hate it when people leave.
Coworker #3: Really? I like it because we get snacks.
This is real stuff people! Too funny.
Sales peon: You'll have to excuse my intelligence, sir.
Nosey cube dweller: What are you doing after work?
Neighbor of nosey cube drone: Minding my own business. Why, what are you doing?
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
ONE OF THE BEST ONES:
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Customer: It smells like incest in here... Wait, no, incense.
Manager: How dare my BlackBerry not know how to spell "transvestite?" That's just rude
Teacher: I just love children!
(silence in the room)
Teacher: Medically speaking, of course...
Cube dweller #1: So then "groom," like the horse kind.
Cube dweller #2: Uh, okay, or like the husband.
Cube dweller #3: Or the thing you clean your kitchen with.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, that's a "broom."
Consultant #1 (reading online purity test): Have you ever slept with a relative?
Consultant #2: Define "relative."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
It's official. I'm a cougar. Argh.
So the easy way to define a cougar is to take your age, divide it by 2, add 7. That's PUSHING IT big time. And yes, that math only works over the age of 14.
At my age, that makes anyone under 22.5 to be WAY too young for me. Now I'm married, so fortunately it's not like I need to go looking online for cougar bars in the OC.
However I have become OBSESSED with Jesse McCartney's song "Leavin'", which only ingrains the notion that I have all the musical tastes of a 15 year old girl. Well suck it, the words are fun and the beat's upbeat and good too.
Note: i have a thing for songs that are well..."lyrically" well written. Not even that they rhyme, but that they just flow in perfect sync.
Then i saw the video, and realized dude totally grew up and became HOT. Like, really, really hot. And this video is what I would call "innocently sexy and hot". Makes me want to roll around on a mattress...without a bedsheet. And more importantly, Jesse M is adorable. Like, I-want-to-violate-him-adorable. Even though he's only 21. Argh. He has the most incredible hair (why do older guys think that us women don't notice hair? MEN get your hair cut, wtf don't let it get scruffy. And yes, we notice when you're balding. Get some rogaine or Propecia on that ish. Hell, I used rogaine when i thought MY hair was thinning,which really turned out to be stress, but point is that if us women can suck it up and take care of our aging flaws, so can you. And the point is that his hair is AWESOME and every guy should aspire to have his hair. Note to my husband: yes, you still have PLENTY of hair despite the other hair conversation we had today when i told you that i wanted you to rip all of my arm hair off and we discussed something that went along with that....).
My only beef is that although his wardrobe is probably very pricey, his grey trousers annoy the bleep out of me.
But he's just so damn hot in this video, and I like his sweater, I'll make an exception. The part where he says "let it rain" and does that thing with his fingers...well let me just say that the 15 year old girl in me is screaming and crying like it's NKOTB all over again (I never saw NKOTB in concert, and I wouldn't cry, but you get the drift.)
Is it just me or does she have weird jaw bones?
And why the eff do I think this is the sexiest line ever? Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen
I need help!
At my age, that makes anyone under 22.5 to be WAY too young for me. Now I'm married, so fortunately it's not like I need to go looking online for cougar bars in the OC.
However I have become OBSESSED with Jesse McCartney's song "Leavin'", which only ingrains the notion that I have all the musical tastes of a 15 year old girl. Well suck it, the words are fun and the beat's upbeat and good too.
Note: i have a thing for songs that are well..."lyrically" well written. Not even that they rhyme, but that they just flow in perfect sync.
Then i saw the video, and realized dude totally grew up and became HOT. Like, really, really hot. And this video is what I would call "innocently sexy and hot". Makes me want to roll around on a mattress...without a bedsheet. And more importantly, Jesse M is adorable. Like, I-want-to-violate-him-adorable. Even though he's only 21. Argh. He has the most incredible hair (why do older guys think that us women don't notice hair? MEN get your hair cut, wtf don't let it get scruffy. And yes, we notice when you're balding. Get some rogaine or Propecia on that ish. Hell, I used rogaine when i thought MY hair was thinning,which really turned out to be stress, but point is that if us women can suck it up and take care of our aging flaws, so can you. And the point is that his hair is AWESOME and every guy should aspire to have his hair. Note to my husband: yes, you still have PLENTY of hair despite the other hair conversation we had today when i told you that i wanted you to rip all of my arm hair off and we discussed something that went along with that....).
My only beef is that although his wardrobe is probably very pricey, his grey trousers annoy the bleep out of me.
But he's just so damn hot in this video, and I like his sweater, I'll make an exception. The part where he says "let it rain" and does that thing with his fingers...well let me just say that the 15 year old girl in me is screaming and crying like it's NKOTB all over again (I never saw NKOTB in concert, and I wouldn't cry, but you get the drift.)
Is it just me or does she have weird jaw bones?
And why the eff do I think this is the sexiest line ever? Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen
I need help!
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