Dis-lui toi que je t'aime

So last night I didn't end up getting to see Jenn, but it worked out 'cause i had to return some stuff and get Kraig some Nyquil (stupid Target...they only had Dayquil which did NOT do the job! I wanted him to be knocked out). Got my tv groove on, took a brief nap, went to the gym (Yes Nic, it's all good...they still think i'm you :P)....

Laguna Beach: Okay if i ever see that Kristin beotch in real life, i'm gonna smack her. I can't BELIEVE she said Casey was all "Mission Viejo...inland Orange County"...i mean, it's one thing to make fun of RIVERSIDE or something...but inland Orange County? What is that, like, Irvine?! But the MV reference....part of me was ready to cry, all "But...my home is half a million dollars....and yes i'm doing interest only so really i'm just renting my home but whatever you little brat" even though i'm sure she's making more in promotional appearances than I"m making in my salary but whatever.
I still say Jessica is exactly how I was at that age.

You know what I want to be when I finally grow up?! I want to be on Sweet Sixteen....I want to have a fabulous 16th birthday part that cost over $100K where everyone does what I want and everyone's jealous of me.

Some people want to be CEOs, presidents, astronauts when they grow up...i want to be WEALTHY.

So I've been emailing my ex, and i'm sure eventually he'll find this blog but for now this is SO worth blogging about...I asked him more detail about his dream, and he wrote this (scattered between other parts of his email that i'm not going to bore anyone with...plus i added paragraph breaks because it was hard on the eyes):


Intimate details. I remember them. I thought it would be more appropriate to censor the discussion because you are married, I am in a relationship, we have not spoken in so long, and I was more concerned than anything else... In the dream, we were very close, you were being very friendly, many smiles, it was like you wanted to comfort me, at this stage you were wearing normal Sabina dress, many people were around us in the Allerton mansion,

we were in some kind of large hall with a fireplace, talking, the conversation may have taken hours, we were just yakking like old friends, but as the dream progressed, your attire changed (more to come in a moment), your demeanour remained mostly the same, friendly, open, but now with a tinge of desire - your words were no longer reassuring, but a bit demanding, you began to tell me about certain things you were missing that I could fill, I stepped back to take a look at you, and your attire had changed to an inappropriate outfit for the public eye - stockings attached to garter, tiny black panties, the top was some kind of strange pleather, which is totally weird, again, your demeanour was still normal,

but it was bizarre because of the people around (none of whom were gazing upon this spectacle!), we were transported to a hotel room, where we continued to talk, and the hotel may have come first in the story, I'm not sure, but at this stage we became very intimate and I helped you meet your unfulfilled desires, which was fun for me, because some of your desires were focused on my needs (yay Sabina), this part of the dream was not as vivid as Allerton, but it is coming back to me, we decided to wrap things up at the hotel, enough is enough, and you were trying to be super sexy independent devil may care Sabina, and then ...

back to Allerton, in normal garb, to chat some more, but this time a little more distance between us, I could sense something was wrong but you wouldn't let me in, and a forthcoming swift goodbye (kind of like, I got what I needed so cya!), the echoes of my calling your name fill the mansion which was normal-sized in the earlier part of the dream but now became like an M.C.Escher huge medieval castle...


the feeling was like, we connected, I did my part, but now had a sense of impending doom .. for you? for me? for Allerton? it was really unclear...
your good-bye made me fearful that you might be hiding something, something I could help you with... When I awoke I was perturbed. So, I dished the details and skimped on the intimate parts again, what can I say, writing about these things makes me impresses on my comfort level.


I think I laughed so hard, I was crying.

Later in his blurb he mentioned:
Faune's been great, we are very close, but sometimes we have big almost-breakup moments, zero drama in comparison to us, but still realistic.

Ohhh yes, the drama....so very Ike and Tina...although really, I think that's just me...I'd like to think now i'm MUCH more calm and less caring in the big picture (like it's not all about the "principle of the matter" like it used to be...winning the argument isn't important to me, ENDING the argument is important to me)...but with him especially, because he was so huge (6'4, 240lbs), seeing him angry, crying, upset was like watching The Incredible Hulk if he found out his mom died...

Today is the official day i put the smackdown on the dry cleaner who jacked up my dress.

In other news, I searched for a chunk of my CDs...i'm missing another Madonna CD, an Our Lady Peace CD (the best one too...dammit), and my Vanessa Paradis CD....the first one isn't a big deal, I can't get that anywhere, but the other two are harder...especially the Vanessa Paradis one (yes, Johnny Depp's wife...but of course she wasn't at the time)...

So in honor of me not being able to find my Vanessa Paradis CD, the song of the day is Dis lui toi que je t'aime by Vanessa Paradis
Je n'veux pas annoncer la couleur
Entre toi et moi
Je vois l'émoi
Quand il comprendra sa douleur
Toi tu es le seul double de moi

Dis-lui toi que je t'aime
C'est toujours le même dilemme
Un jour ou toujours qui sait
Combien de mois d'émoi cela va durer


I'm kind of in a cranky mood right now, and probably very prone to writing stuff that I'll regret later, so I'll leave the blog at this for now...I'm so tired, I wish I didn't have to wake up at 6:30 every day (well....6:30 and then hit snooze till 6:45....)...

Little miss black widow

Today's song of the day....
Well since I'm dying for Madonna's new album (esp. after seeing the album PR ad/cover, which is retarded because she looks mega airbrushed but whatever), I think the next while will have Madonna songs of the day.
Today's song is Thief of Hearts by Madonna from the Erotica album...
Bitch!
You're a thief of hearts and now you'll have to pay
How many licks does it take?
You're a thief of hearts and now you'll have to pay
Which leg do you want me to break?
You'll be sorry



Let's recap last night's TV lineup...

My Fair Brady: okay well I didn't really watch it, but I just wanted to say that if smoking will get me a body like Adrian's, light me up baby!

Surreal Life: I love Janice Dickinson. And Bronson is still a pervert. And i love Pink's fiance. And this show is so vacant, it's crazy.

Breaking Bonaduce: wow wow wowwww....I find watching someone tumble into deep destruction so fascinating...although if some redheaded drunk guy hopped in my car in the middle of the night, I'd have a serious flip out.

Desperate Housewives: maybe it's the married part of me, i don't know...but when Gabrielle was apologizing to Carlos on their anniversary... a weird shudder went through me.

See here's the thing...

Maybe it's the First Wives Club thing or something, I don't know.

I just know that when my fantastic makeup artist was doing her trial-run with me and my bridesmaids, I asked her what the difference was between marriage and just living together. I was on this tirade at the time to find out, because I knew so many people that lived together, and Kraig and I were on/off living together our entire relationship...I just needed to know what the difference was, other than legal stuff.

As in, did it feel any different? Did she suddenly walk through the front door after being married and it felt DIFFERENT? (She got married a few months before she did my makeup).

And what she told me was...getting married was like being part of a secret club, you're now part of the wives' club,and you just "know". She couldn't describe it...but you just....KNOW.

I had no idea what she was saying and I dismissed it at the time.

Then...when I got married...suddenly...I got it.

I KNEW.

For example, it was like when Kraig had to do something at work and he said "I have to check with my wife"....now this was something that would have impacted us if we were just dating, but you can't go and tell your HR "oh gee I have to check with my girlfriend"...like "I can't do ANYTHING without my GIRRRRRLFRIEND"...it's weird, because you could be dating for 10 years but it still sounds a bit off...but when he said "I have to check with my wife", suddenly it sounded like "I have to check with my business associate, both of us need to come to an agreement, her opinion also matters when it comes to this decision"....like suddenly you're "up" in the eyes of everyone, you've been promoted in everyone's eyes.

I don't know. I don't know how to put it. I just know that after I got married, I knew what my makeup artist was talking about.

So when they had that scene in Desperate Housewives where Gabby apologizes for cheating on Carlos...I thought "yesss...a chick wrote that part of the script...because she's not apologizing just for hurting him, or going against their marriage vows to foresake all others...she's crying because she knows she betrayed the bigger picture, and the wives' club, and everything that was built together as a team"....

If any of that makes sense. Probably not, because i'm effing tired...speaking of marriage, Kraig got sick yesterday which means I got no sleep.

So I spent all night thinking about how I was going to write a blog about effing SNORING.

Yeah you heard me bitches. Snoring. Boring topic? Suck it.

See I can handle a bit of snoring...I'm a pretty heavy sleeper and I associate snoring with some level of manliness in a bizarre kind of way.

But...Kraig isn't consistent with his snoring, sometimes he doesn't at all sometimes it's ALL night, which to me means it's somewhat controllable, which pisses me off even more.

And he doesn't snore in rhythm...he snores in some haphazard way, mixed with LOUD yawning, grinding of teeth, mouth smacking, air chewing, random talking... Yeah the first few months I toughed it out and sometimes just kicked him gently in his sleep in order to rouse him a bit awake, long enough for him to stop and hopefully let me sleep.

Then it got to the phase where I started to get ANGRY, i mean seriously violently angry that he was keeping ME awake while he was in such deep sleep, he could chew and munch on the air and snore like a jackhammer...I feel like he's doing it on purpose, to upset me...so by morning I'm so rude to him, and he's like "wtf did I do?"....

People have asked me why I haven't gotten him those snoring nose strip thingies.... I refuse. Because I've asked him a billion times to go to the doctor (and what guy goes to the doctor? Apparently none of them), and I feel like it's HIS responsibility to get the damn nose strips. I feel like this is an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond or King Of Queens....seriously, it's not MY nose and he should go research this crap and let me get a decent night of sleep.

I think i'm perpetually cranky as a result...mixed with the cats, and I swear I haven't had a good night's sleep in ages. That's why I think napping is the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world....

If i ever get to heaven, I'm going to ask God to let me sleep for another 400 million years.

Death

Last night I went through hell to drive to Anaheim to pick up my friend Jenn, her husband Chris, and her stepson Will. I haven't seen her in around 9 years, and it was fantastic catching up with her.

We even had a blast as stupid me got lost (my goal was to take them somewhere out of Anaheim, since they're going to spend the rest of their trip there anyway), had dinner...good times...

Coming back, driving on Beach blvd somewhere in Huntington Beach/Garden Grove/Westminster, late at night, two cars in front of me start swerving.

So I slam on the brakes and start edging to the right lane.

Jenn asks "what's that noise?" (it was this high pitched constant squeeling yelping noise) and I start to say "Oh it's my brakes..." (because my brakes have issues, don't ask)...

Suddenly she says "OH MY GOD IT'S A DOG!" and I see that the car two cars up had hit this big pit bull. My initial reaction was that of when I see any roadkill...like it makes me sad, upset, but what can I do....

And then my brain clicked....dog barking...cars swerving...this just happened...that dog is ALIVE.......

So I park my immediately in the right lane of this massive road (ha right in front of a homeless guy), me and Chris jump out of the car and run to the middle of the road, where the dog is.

the f*cking bastard that hit the dog drove off. I hope someone decides to douse him with gas and light him on fire one day...just for fun

Fortunately a couple in an SUV stopped their car right in front of the dog, so at least there was clearance. Poor guy was panting, and bleeding, and me and the couple were trying to call random numbers...I mean, what do you do? I didn't know the area, I couldn't just take the dog to the nearest animal hospital. So the girl is trying to call the local police, and we're realizing we're not 100% which city we were in (it was Beach and 19th street, if anyone cares)...the guy is trying to call animal control, I'm trying to call animal control...

And all we're getting are answering machines.

I so badly wanted to let that dog know that SOMEONE cared...maybe the jackass who hit him didn't, but WE did...and we all knew the dog was going to die...

...that dog BELONGED to someone, it had a harness on, possibly because it broke free from it's fence or whatever.

Finally a dude from AAA across the street came over, and through the mix of emotions he was saying how a vet was needed to really put the dog to sleep (or something to that effect...at this point I was calling Nicole B, because if anyone knows what to do when it comes to animal emergencies, it's her)....the dog at this point was pretty much dead, if not a death's door....

...all this time we're still in the middle of the road, causing massive traffic...

So the AAA guy, grabs the dog's harness and DRAGS him to the median strip.

I swear I almost projectile vomitted.

The couple at this point got back in their SUV and drove off....and the AAA guy was saying something, Chris heard it I wasn't paying attention because I was trying to wrap myself around the fact this dog had died...the girl in the SUV said he was still alive 'cause his tail twitched, but if you know anything about death then you know that there's still serious electricity that goes through the body and twitching happens even half an hour after death.

Eventually we ran back to the car, poor Jenn and Will (she was a little freaked that I had parked right next to a homeless guy in the ghetto)....and Will kept saying how sad he was for the dog...and Chris was like "I can't believe you got out of the car" (this was the first time I met him, I get the impression he thought I was a little too girly girl for that type of behavior)...

We made the best of the rest of the night (becuase it took forever to get home, long story), and overall I had a wonderful night...

...but I can't stop thinking about that dog.

the blood in the middle of the road was so THICK...it looked like paint....

There's few times in my life i've seen an animal die.

I saw a ton of cows and camels get slaughtered by knife (yep, good ol' Ramadhan...and Pakistan...because i'm old skool like that), and I remember seeing my uncle cut up the meat and there were PILES of cow meat and they were MOVING and I was like "uh...wtf..." (I was around 12 at the time) and being the doctor in the family, he explained the part about electricity moving through after death blah blah...

And then I had to put Rusty to sleep last year, and I researched the hell out of it in order to know what to expect....

Let it be known, I'm heartless when it comes to humans. Had that been a HUMAN that got hit, I probably would have only stuck around for the morbid factor along with the potential that I would have gotten into legal trouble if I drove off after having seen what happened. NOT because I would care at all for the pain and suffering of the human. Humans are generally evil in my mind, and it takes alot for me to feel sympathy for complete strangers

When it comes to animals, I'm the biggest sap. I have this HUGE need to represent those that can't speak for themselves. I'd like to think that if i got hit by a car, i'd still know I got hit by a car. That dog didn't know...all it knew is one minute it was fine, next minute it was in extreme pain. And it probably felt SO alone. The girl in the SUV was petting the dog's head...I sure hope that consoled him...if just a little...

I'm in the biggest daze right now...I'm surprised I didn't cry at all after I dropped Jenn/Chris/Will off last night at their hotel...it just seemed like a bad movie, but the knot in my stomach is growing, and I'm sure at some point today it'll hit me that I saw an animal DIE, and I heard it's pain, and nothing we did could stop that from happening.

I'm going to go pet Marmalade and Stash now and let them know that they're spoiled brats, but I love them to death.

If you wannabe my lover...ugh it's stuck in my head

I stayed a bit late at work last night to wrap up some stuff, picked up a prescription, went to Carrie's place for "poker"...

Poker = girls sitting around talking with poker chips still in their case.

Carrie, thank you thank you thank you...I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard I almost busted a gut crying...

Although i do have a food hangover...ugh...me and hormones makes for very, very bad appetites. Ugh. And i didn't get to the gym last night because Kraig said that Lost was worth watching, so I watched that and went to bed at 12:30.

So just some random thoughts on boys and love and sex and all the other good stuff that comes with them....

you'd think that I woudn't even care about this stuff, because I'm married...but I feel like as a married person, removed from the "game", that I have a whole new perspective on things. And i'm always fascinated by the psychology of men/women/attraction...like why we're attracted to the things we are, is it because it's innate or are we trained to learn it? One book I love for this stuff is Survival of the Prettiest...about how we're predispositioned to mate with particular traits....

Let's start with the big one: Love.
It seems like the ball is in the guy's court with saying "ILY" first, because as a chick everyone thinks that you're dyyyyying to fall in love so you'll say it to just anyone. I"m very fascinated with women who can say it first, becuase I would never, ever EVER have the balls to do that. Never. EVER. I can't handle rejection just asking a guy out on a date, let alone saying "hey, my heart is out there on the wall with a big target on it, let's see if you're gonna stab it"...

I also have the general 3-month rule.

(more on the 3 month rule later, but for right now, i'm discussing it in terms of love). I figure, you have to date the person for 3 months before you're allowed to even THINK this stuff. However, in my experience, the guy has always jumped the gun and said "i love you" before that 3 month mark....

Note:this is for when you've started dating guys off the bat from just having met them. If you've known the guy for months/years...well then that effs up my theory.

And it's also important to add in the first 3 months, i'm FUN GIRL....so of course the guy is probably gonna say "ILY" in the first 3 months, because i act like i'm crazy fun and the PERFECT girl...um yeah that goes straight to hell after 3 months. Then it's "crazy un-fun nagging beotch who complains and stops shaving her legs"

Only once in my life have i ever said ILY back to a guy who said it to me and I didn't mean it, it was my ex that i dated for a year between high school and university... i said it because I didn't want to crush him but really...he was WAY too catholic for me...and I have no issues with any religion, but i mean...he was UBER catholic...and he only had point four percent body fat, and I felt like a heffer around him (he was 119lbs! He was really into sports)...and a total mama's boy (I can understand that all men are...but this dude....it was like Trey on Sex and The City)...and he was just a total p*ssy and I have this thing...

If a guy can't carry me out of a burning building, then I can't be with him.

I know, realistically if i were a guy even if I were 6'5 200lbs I might still be like "I could save her...but then i'd have to hear her bitch about the smoke in her hair for the next month...i'm sure the firefighters will save her in time, i'm outta here!"....

But anyway, with D~, I honestly felt like i would be the one carrying HIM, and that's just not cool. But i did do the awful thing of saying ILY back to him, it was the only time, and I harbor that guilt against Cupid to this day.

So now that we've discussed love...

Well there's no much that I can say about sex, since this is a public site and plenty is meant to be private, but what i can say is that I'm still fascinated with how people today are supposed to use dental dams. It just doesn't make SENSE. The whole point is that if you're using latex, it doesn't have holes in it...but dental dams have that one in the middle...so what's the point of using it? I'm so fascinated with what teenagers/young adults/whoever have to do these days in order to get their groove on.

So now to discuss boys in general....

Nicole pointed something out...how chicks worry about stuff like marriage counselling, how to make relationships work, etc...and yet, guys don't care.

BUT...guys are not past bitching about what's wrong in the relationship, and I"ve heard from plenty of guys how i don't put in efforts, blah blah.

So how is it that guys are quick to complain, but they don't offer effing SOLUTIONS?! Heck, even "more sex" is a solution, better than nothing. Or "give me more beer". Anything.

Speaking of: when I'm dating a guy, a guy who drives fast and drinks beer is hot. When i'm married to them, that kind of behavior is almost outlawed. And yet, those things are hot. So really women, you are voluntarily making your guy less hot by marrying them, because all those things that are sexy really aren't great for disability insurance or your wallet. My poor, poor husband...he can't win.

On a different note, the most annoying songs according to Maxim:
Maxim has composed a list of the most annoying songs in descending order:
"Hollaback Girl," Gwen Stefani It's great on the CD, not so much on the radio
"Your Body Is A Wonderland," John Mayer I hate John Mayer
"My Heart Will Go On," Celine Dion Actually, I don't mind this song at all, and the Titanic soundtrack (all musical stuff, very few with lyrics) is pretty good
"Wonderful Christmas Time," Paul McCartney It's mall music, cut him some slack
"Wannabe," Spice Girls Yep, i agree
"Electric Boogie," Marcia Griffiths
"With Arms Wide Open," Creed I effing hate Creed
"Tom's Diner," Suzanne Vega
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapters 1-5)," R. Kelly The videos are kinda funny though.
"Pray," MC Hammer Dude, i LOVE this song! We got to pray, just to make it today...
"Nookie," Limp Bizkit
"Vertigo," U2
"Secret Garden (Jerry Maguire Version,", by Cuba Gooding Jr.
"It's A Small World," Hey it worked for Disney...
"Who Let The Dogs Out," by Baha Men I agree!
"This Kiss," by Faith Hill I think this song is so retarded, and yet it's catchy.
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)," by The Proclaimers It's only annoying when you're not drinking. With a bunch of strangers. In a bar. Where you can bounce up and down...drunk...
"The Girl Is Mine," by Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney Maybe, but The Boy Is Mine with Brandy is fantastic.
"We Like To Party," by Vengaboys Mother effer this song is horrible.
"Hey Baby," by No DoubtNot THE most annoying, but up there
Alright, i'm tired and i'm out.

divorce crap

So I’ve been looking into this, and one of they key problems with the stats is that they’re measure number of people who get married in X year vs. number that year that got divorced…as opposed to say just measuring EVERYONE who got married, ever vs. those that get divorced (like over a lifetime basically)…

The method preferred by social scientists in determining the divorce rate is
to calculate how many people who have ever married subsequently divorced.
Counted that way, the rate has never exceeded about 41 percent, researchers
say. Although sharply rising rates in the 1970's led some to project that
the number would keep increasing, the rate has instead begun to inch
downward.

And also apparently if you measure the educated folks (specifically, women) vs. non educated, there’s a significant difference as well (so unless you plan on marrying an uneducated chick....)

See what bugs me is that apparently after like 1990, the government stopped collecting marriage/divorce info on a detailed level...it just files the number of marriages that year, number of divorces.

Well okay let's discount everyone who's already been married once and divorced. Harsh, yes, but come on now...

So if you JUST look at first time marriages....then I want to know those stats. And i don't want to know for say 2005, becuase of course the people who got married in 2005 aren't the same as those who got divorced in 2005.

AND...i really want to know those who got married after the age of 25. I have friends who got married at 24, but 25 is just a nice happy number and really if you graduate when you're 23 (assuming you graduated, as per above note)...then 25 gives youp lenty of time to get engaged and get married....because i have little faith for anyone who gets married at like 19...heck, i think I got married way too young, and I was 25 at the time.

From divorcemag.com:
By John Gottman, Ph.D.

There are simple steps you can take to keep your marriage alive and healthy. Here are some ideas, which are described in detail in my book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, that have been gleaned from over 20 years of research with hundreds of couples.

1. Seek help early. The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems (and half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years). Meaning the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long.
Sabina's take: yeah well most therapists and crap only work 9-5, and it's a little difficult to take time off work for ANYTHING, let alone therapy that works wtih two people's schedules. AND if you assume a large chunk of people who get married are young and broke and starting out...how are you supposed to afford that?!

2. Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.
Sabina's take: yeah no kidding einstein. I'm sure the fact that i just THINK "you're an effing jackass" is still better than if i ever SAID it. WTF. I need to get me a PhD...

3. Be careful how you "start up" a conversation. Arguments first "start up" because a spouse sometimes escalates the conflict from the get-go by making a dramatic, angry, or upsetting remark in a confrontational tone.
Sabina's take: yeah i'll give the dude this one. Jumping down one's throat off the bat doesn't help. That being said...ify ou're stuck sitting around stewing over an issue, it's hard NOT to.

4. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. If a woman says, "Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready," a husband who replies, "My plans are set, and I'm not changing them," is a guy in a shaky marriage.
A husband's ability to be persuaded by his wife is so critical because, research shows, women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and a true partnership only occurs when a husband is able to do so as well.
Sabina's take: well...this is kinda biased saying that women are already influenced...so either that means we're easy going, or we're whipped. You know, i've got no comment on this....i've only got one husband, and he's very good at changing his plans for me (maybe not when we weren't engaged, but as a Husband he's wonderful for this). No comment.

5. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
Sabina's take: wouldn't this apply even when you're dating? The sooner you put the smackdown, the better. You set the stage for what you'll accept. It's hard to be a diva off the bat though.

6. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: gossiping about other people together (very useful); changing the topic to something completely unrelated; throwing in some humor; stroking your partner with a caring remark ("I understand that this is hard for you"); making it clear you're on common ground ("This is our problem"); backing down (in marriage, as in the martial art Aikido, you have to yield to win); and, in general, offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way ("I really appreciate and want to thank you for...")
Sabina's take: yeah yeah this is the part where you show your sign of maturity...fighting happens, HOW you fight is what matters. Yadda yadda.

7. Focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, couples make five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship than negative ones: "We laugh a lot" as opposed to "We never have fun." A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.
Sabina's take: that emotional bank account part is the most retarded corniest thing i've ever heard.

There's not much point to this blog...I just wanted to research this stuff because I don't like thinking that marriage has so many odds against it. I do think there's ways to make sure it'll survive...most of them being not getting married young, blah blah...so...there.

I gotta remember to record America's Next Top Model tonight.
And Lost.

And i gotta go to the gym after poker, 'cause last night I passed out at 9pm after doing crazy amounts of dishes and doing 40 mins of ironing. I suck at ironing...men's clothing is easy, because it's all big. Women's stuff is fitted, so there's folds and nips and tucks and everything's smaller, so once you've ironed one part you've wrinkled another.

Seriously, i hate people.

I mean, REALLY hate people.

All day I've thought about how much life would be easier...without people! I'd have alot less stress and i'd be way more productive.

Ohhh...that hurts.

Five thousand
two hundred
sixty one
and
fifty cents

$5261.50

Paid my property taxes in full just now.

Ouch. At least they're a bit cheaper than last year.

That better be a pretty tax write off for next year.

ouch
ouch
ouch

Oh that's hurtin'...bad....

Crackalicious

Must
wake
up

Just to take up space:
What's your favorite....
Beverage (non-alc) ? If calories count: diet pepsi, no ice. If they don't: shirley temples.
Color ? baby blue...baby pink...blood red...
Food ? poutine...pizza...anything salty...although i gotta have my bagels...oatmeal raisin cookies...dammit now i'm hungry
Item of clothing ? jeans jeans jeans...and a great push up bra
Meal of the day ? breakfast, which i don't normally eat daily, unless I get good ol' bagels
Feature on yourself ? my nails (yeah, you're scrounging to like a part of yourself when....)
Quality in a guy ? I LOVE the back of a guy's neck. And his hands. But the back of the neck is sooooo important...you can't get it on with a guy if you can't give in to licking the back of his neck without being like "eww nasty"....
Phrase ? "mother effer" ..."suck it"..."wtf"..."what the hell"..."that's retarded"....
Song ? Too many to list.
Musical Artist/Band ? Overall...Madonna always wins for her longevity.
Sport ? I like playing Ultimate Frisbee...but to watch on ESPN cheerleading competitions are always entertaining

Movie ? T2...Desperado...Running Man...CLUELESS....Joy Luck Club....once again, the list is too long...
TV Show ? Simpsons...Desperate Housewives...Lost...Anything on VH1/MTV (like Real World, Laguna Beach, all that crap)...America's Next Top Model...The OC of course...SNL...

Radio Station ? Howard Stern in the morning (whatever station that is), and then KFI640 (the John and Ken show on am) after work
Type of Chocolate ? OMG anything with hazelnuts. I die for Ferrero Rocher. I mean, serious, DIE for that stuff (or Baci)...amazing how not a single guy has ever given me that but gives me crap like FLOWERS even though I workedi n a flower shop and really...i'd rather have Ferrero Rocher annnnyyyyy day...
Eye Color ? Depends...either really light blue eyes on a guy with brown hair...or dark, dark, dark mysterious eyes

Do you/Have you ever....
Have any pets ? yep
Have any piercings ? yes
Have any tatoos ? (which is spelled wrong) nope
Cheat on a boyfriend/girlfriend: yep

Gone skinny dipping ? nope...and it's not that i wouldn't...i just think that things in a lake might try to bite my gonads, and i need that extra layer of protective clothing!

Been to Europe ? yep
Been to an island ? yep
Had stitches ? yep, and i've got a nasty scar on my forehead as a result
Broken any bones ? nope
Been stabbed/shot ? egads, hell no
Slept until after 12:00 ? that's retarded...of course.
Stayed up all night ? obviously
Hooked up with 2 people in one weekend ? ugh...yes....

Turned down a dare ? obviously!

Which friend....
Is the funniest ? I can honestly say that Nic B cracks me...otherwise, Erin (yeah i've got friends in Canada, northern cali, and SoCal...kind of a large pool to pick from)
Is the prettiest ? Stacey, hands down
Is the most handsom ? Evan's mighty fine
Is the loudest ? Christine...
Is the craziest ? Crap...i don't know. Everyone's gotten pretty subdued in their old age.

Is the most shy ? Stefanie is at first (unless there's alcohol lol)...Sylvia...
Is the most loving ? Sylvia

Is the most understanding ? I think everyone is, to a certain degree.

Is the most boring ? lol no one i would name here
Is the richest ? Marlene always seems to hav boatloads of money to go shopping

Is the most athletic ? Sylvia
Is the most cocky ? Beatriz lol....
Is the most wordly/cultured ? Carrie
Do you look up to the most ? I look up to all my friends in different ways...that's why i love my friends, there's so much i can learn from each of them
Do you tell everything to ? I'm not telling, otherwise everyone else will bug them for into

Has the best clothes ? Stef's been doing the most shopping sprees
Has the best house ? Erin, hands down...

Would you ever....
Eat pizza with chocolate chips ? Isn't that dessert pizza?
Kiss someone of the same sex ? Sure why not
Cheat on someone you love ? I did, and I regretted it because I think deep down, he knew
Run away from home ? Kinda...moving to Cali "spontaneously" is kind of running away from home.

Lie to your parents ? That's the most retarded question yet. I'll let you know when i tell the truth.
Lie to your boyfriend/girlfriend ? obviously
Lie to your best friend ? I'm sure i have...when you say "it's him, you're perfect" really you mean "you became a psycho, and i don't blame him for dumping you but i can' tell you because your self esteem can't hack it"...
Give a homeless person money ? yep...i don't normally...but the first time I was in San Francisco, it was Xmas time and right outside of that huge Tiffany's store there was a homeless guy with a sign that said "FAMISHED"...just one word...and I thought, that was BRILLIANT marketing on his part, because that single word outside of Tiffany's made the biggest impact.

Run from the police ? no, 'cause i'm gonna get busted anyway
Bungee jump ? I'd like to...
Sky dive ? I'd LOVE to.... i really do want to try it soon
Cross dress ? sure

Be an exotic dancer ? If i got fake boobs, fer sure!

Walk out of a restaurant without paying ? nope, that requires WAY too much balls
Scuba dive ?I'd like to try
Go rock climbing ? sure, why not
Go spulunking (caving) ? that sounds retarded

What do you think of when you hear....
Eminem ? blond dude with angst
Bologna ? my dad (don't ask)
Hott ? well it's spelled wrong....
Orange ? candy
Real world ? Stupid Danny and Melinda
Jack ? the osbourne kid
Cucumber ? stuff to put on my eyes
Hip-Hop ? that stupid Soul Train show
Uniform ? flashbacks of past jobs
UniCORN ! ? "The Last Unicorn" movie
Rainbow ? a ton of gold
Clown ? Pennywise...


onto other subjects
So last night I meant to do some serious vacuuming, because I can't even breathe in my own home, but I was SOOOO exhausted I crashed on the couch and didn't move until 10pm when it was time to go to the gym. If i had an SUV, i'd sleep in my car every single day at lunch. I'm SO frickin' tired.

So US weekly had some "Lost" spoilers/clues, if you don't want to read then skip the rest of this blog....
Clue 1: Desmond
Could he be....Satan? In a stadium flashback, Desmond asked an injured Jack why he was running "like the devil was chasing you" and vowed "see you in another life". Turns out Desmond lives in the hatch - and looks quite smug to see Jack on the premises.
Sabina's take: yeah, he could be Satan...because there's been so many references to this whole island being purgatory and all that...but...that's a stretch.

Clue 2: The Numbers
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Hurley's bad lottery numbers add up to more mysteries. A sampling: they're printed on Desmond's medicine vials, he appears to type them on his computer, and he peddles his stationary bike at 16mph. "We'll learn about the numbers this season" says exec producer Carlton Cuse.
Sabina's take: that's old news, they've been played and hinted at so often that it's not a mystery anymore anyway.

Clue 3: the mural
The colorful artwork on the hatch is full of crytpic info. note the 108 (the sum of Hurley's numbers) plus stick figures, an arrow, a house, and the word SICK. And bear in mind: the word "quarantine" is marked INSIDE the hatch door (as in, Don't leave!) and an illness killed Danielle's crew.
Sabina's take: yeah the gathered the quarantine had to do with what Danielle was griping about, however I didn't catch that it was written on the INSIDE...that's awesome. The 108 thing also doesn't phase me, that number is everywhere all the time.

Clue 4: Rutherford
Unbeknownst to Jack, his pre-island life is linked to Shannon. A flashback reveals that his patient Sarah (whom he would later marry, played by Julie Bowen) rammed her car into an SUV. The driver, who died in the ER, was Adam Rutherford - Shannon's dad. Naturally, his time of death was 8:15am
Sabina's take: this one i totally didn't catch. I actually argued with Kraig about the hospital chick, because Julie Bowen didn't play her this season, that was last season, and she's a famous-enough actress that you just can't replace her like that...so that was stupid on the part of Lost. But the Rutherford thing, i KNEW I wasn't catching what the background "link" was....each episode has one...

Clue 5: Walt
The kidnapped castaway appeared dripping wet, whispering to Shannon, and then vanished. His message, played backwards "press the button. No button is bad". Walt's powers may explain his cameo, but Cuse tells US "he's not omniscient. He doesn't ahve full control over the powers.
Sabina's take: yeah like i'm gonna play something BACKWARDS on my tv. wtf. But interesting to know.

One last note...

The song of the day is Crash by Gwen Stefani
Drive back baby to me fast in your car
I'm here waiting, crash into me real hard
Now you know you're qualified
You're in the pole position
Put it in first gear,
step on the pedal and drive fast
That's a fantastic CD.
Speaking of...i'm going to DIE waiting for November 15.....

As the world implodes, we fall into it

So I didn't put the song of the day...we'll make it Thief by Our Lady Peace

I can't see that thief
That lives inside of your head
But I can be some courage at
The side of you bed
I don't know what's happening
And I can't pretend

I love OLP...i've seen them a thousand times in concert...I couldn't find my Naveed album this morning, I don't know if it's in my car or not...or heck,do I even have it or did everyone else always have it and i just kept hearing it in their car?
Speaking of music, I'm going to DIE waiting for the new Madonna album...here's a clip of the single...WTF I have to wait 6 weeks? The last album doesn't even count, stupid American Life...I didn't even buy it, which is the only album of hers I've never owned...just keep your stupid political opinions to yourself and stick to dance music and indecent coffee books.

Alright Stefanie, you might possibly have won....I think we've figured out collectively how to max out the dude from the Taco place....if we can keep getting chips and guacamole, then we've done our job.

After work today, i'm gonna go home and take the biggest mother effing nap EVER. And then vacuum. And then fix the hem on my pants. And then iron the big pile i've got.

Oh wait ughghghgh I've got to get to that stupid dry cleaner that effed up my dress. Not only is it the principal of the matter, but it's friggin' VELVET...and I live in California! There's a very fine window in which I can wear that dress, and I wanted to wear it for the company holiday party. My body is SO bizarre and shaped weird, dresses just don't fit me right. Heck, i still have some of my prom dresses just because they at least look okay on my weird effed up body shape.

Yes i'm still in the middle of booking vegas. Right now the options are to either leave at 8am and get there insanely early, or leave at 9pm and get there kinda late...i'm all for option 1 and then taking a nap the minute we get the hotel room. More roulette time.

Today is one of those days where I hate people.
Oh wait...that's every day. My bad.
Today is one of those days where I hate people so much, i want to shove a fork in my eye.
Crap that's still every day.
Okay how about:
Today is one of thsoe days where I hate people so bad, I want to knaw my own arm off and beat people with it.

Ohhh yeahhh...can you dig it?

______
renata_ims: walmart is selling a cross cutter for 30 $, so we bought one
sabinaims: okay

renata_ims: paid your visa too
sabinaims: i can do that! Seriously I feel bad.
renata_ims: its ok, u buy something over there
renata_ims: besides u got your property tax coming up
sabinaims: yeah it's over $5000...

renata_ims: its a killer
sabinaims: yup

renata_ims: u and kraig work so hard
sabinaims: yup

renata_ims: u deserve a little help now and then, dont worry, its not that much
sabinaims: thank you

renata_ims: np
renata_ims: just because we live apart, doest mean one can help a bit
sabinaims: okay

renata_ims: how is the weather down there? miss sitting on your patio
sabinaims: dry and hot

renata_ims: cross cutters are usually very expensive, so we were lucky
sabinaims: what's a cross cutter

renata_ims: oh those cutting paper machines, u know
renata_ims: shredder lol
renata_ims: even shreds visa cards
sabinaims: paper shredder
sabinaims: good, the strip kind is bad

renata_ims: yes hehe

renata_ims: well i listened to your advise and returned it, but the the cross cutter is so expensive everywhere
renata_ims: c u later
sabinaims: okay

IM with my mom some more

My_mom: hi
My_mom: are u there
My_mom:
My_mom: cute buzz
My_mom: not there
My_mom: hope everything is ok?
My_mom: c u


ME: i'm here now


My_mom: whats up etc
ME: nothing


My_mom: how are the cats, what did u do over the weekend?
ME: the cats are fine, i was out of town this weekend


My_mom: where?
ME: palm springs


My_mom: ok


My_mom: hope u have some cash left in the bank
ME: a little


My_mom: whats new
My_mom: what else is new
My_mom: marmalade had any spills lately?
My_mom: cats still fighting?

ME: cats are fine, still cute


My_mom: i bet, smokey too is cute
ME: aww


My_mom: anyway have to go the dentist and afterwards to the bank, c u
ME: have fun

Of L'il Bratz and other meatnormous tales

NOTE: I'm too tired to check for spelling and what not, so bite me if this doesn't sound like English. Or Spanglish. Or Franglais.

Mother effer, I'm TIRED.

Came home yesterday around 5ish, just in time to get my VH1 celebReality show groove on....after that I washed up and crawled into bed, barely able to stay awake for Desperate Housewives (As much as I love the show...Mary Alice's voiceovers are getting effing annoying).

So let's go through Sunday night's tv lineup...

My Fair Brady: Adrian and Chris Knight were on Howard this morning...I have to give her credit, the show does make her out to be SUPER clingy and annoying. As for the show...I love my girlfriends, but I am NOT showering with them.

Which actually brings back a memory...

In high school for gym class they organized some "wilderness women's" retreat, which I"m sure I was supposed to learn alot of self-awareness and all that crap but I didn't, probably because i do NOT do nature and being in a cabin is roughing it up too much for me. Anyway the shower situation was grim...it was kind of an open concept, like just a big room with showerheads and that's it. So my friends Christine, Erin, and I went SUPER late at night 'cause we didn't want to go when the other people were showering (insert part where I scared the crap out of erin because she's a scaredy cat and we were walking through the woods, alone...yeah i'm a mean beatch, i prey upon others' fears)...

So Christine and Erin are on one wall getting ready to shower, and i'm on the other, and i was like "okay guys we can be cool about this, just no one turn around 'kay?"...and they were all chillin'...but then the MINUTE i took my clothes off I had a massive flip and just kept screaming "DO NOT TURN AROUND!"...Erin, already freaked out from the walk in the woods, was CRYING 'cause i was screaming, and Christine almost bust a gut laughing, and I'm screaming the entire time in hysterics.

Fast forward a few years, and one of the things in my yearbook is "do not turn around!"...ahhh good times...

back to VH1 and the tv shows....

Surreal Life: the cast this year is so horrible, and I only watch because I adore Janice Dickinson...but my GOD Celebrities are so vacant it's crazy. It's only 2 weeks out of their lives and they're CRYING over sheeat...like I could live 14 days with people and they could all DIE and I wouldn't cry. WTF.

Breaking Bonaduce: I swear, there's something about this show that hits me hard. Maybe it's because unlike all the happy-go-lucky shows...this one is dark, violent, and probably the most real out there. When Danny was begging Gretchen not to leave, I'm blown away that she did...I would have stayed...and not because I'm a good wife...but because he looked DERANGED. I mean, there was something in his eyes, I was waiting for him to stab himself.

I don't know why I even get emotional over that stupid show, but when he pours the vodka in the huge cranberry juice bottle, and just CHUGS the entire thing, straight, without spilling a drop...I almost threw up, because it was so crazy to see someone violently attacking themselves, abusing themselves, self destructing...it's almost too personal, because you can only imagine how much self-hatred that person must be feeling to risk everything they have and love in order to numb that pain and destroy themselves.

on to happier subjects...

Just some random thoughts:

--I'm wearing my new shoes today. Well, one of my new shoes. They're black satin with a little silver bow. So cute. Yeah. I'm a chick. I like shoes. Suck it.

--I'm so upset the OC won't be on for another month...wtf am I supposed to do on Thursdays without the OC? I feel...lost..empty...the horror, the horror.

--My skin got SO jacked up palm springs, I mean the air was so disgustingly dry...I'm thinking of seeing a dermatologist because I'm terrified i'm going to have SCARS. wtf. I should look into buying a humidifier for the girls' trip in 2 weekends.

--I think breakup sex is a necessary evil. It's a requirement really, to end any relationship. It's not over until you get that last burst out of your system.

--I think I need to take another bagel break, because I had 2 this morning ooozing with strawberry cream cheese and i'm STILL hungry, wtf. I'm thinking no bagels for 3 weeks.

--My friend Jenn is coming to town this weekend, and i'm so excited to see her it's crazy out of control.

--YES I KNOW GET OFF MY BACK...I still have to book my flight to Vegas. I'll do it today. I promise. Or else that flight will cost me $300.

--This week I also vow to get decent life insurance...I"m going to be f*cked if Kraig gets hit by a bus tomorrow. I'd have to sell the house.

--And mother effer, get that advanced medical directive stuff taken care of too...wtf!! (Slaps self for being so lazy).

--I got Sylvia's birthday gift, and it's SO cute (can't write it here), and damn it's amazing I had the self restraint to not buy myself one as well...

--Seriously...the weather was SO dry...I think i'm going to douse myself with baby oil when I get home today...skin is NOT looking too pretty right now.

--Why is it that when you're at work, time goes a the speed of lard...but when you're on a weekend getaway time goes by WAYYYYYYYY too fast?!!

--I want another bagel. Mother. Effer.

--They're offering subsidized flu shots here at work...I've never gotten one before...but being the cheap bastard I am, they could give out the FLU itself and I'll be like "it's free? Sure why not?"...

--There is absolutely nothing more fabulous than Tazo Passion Tea with 2 packets of Splenda...

--I gained 3 effing pounds this weekend. If i don't go to the gym tonight, I owe Caroline $100. (And yes I know it takes 3 days for food to become official poundage on your body, but you know what? Suck it.)

--I think the more each day goes by, the dumber I get. I promise you, I was once a genius. Now...I'm vying for the Anna Nicole Smith Girl Wonder award.

IM with mom, again...

Since people gripe that i don't write enough to my mom, here's more of a convo:

My_Mom: hi
My_Mom: r u there?


ME: i'm heren ow
ME: now


My_Mom: hi
My_Mom: whats up
ME: nothing
My_Mom: she buzzes me
ME: hows smokey
My_Mom: doing good
My_Mom: he is a happy cat
My_Mom: likes to cuddle a lot in his old age
ME: yup


My_Mom: going to pay your visa bill, no need to send any money, buy something to sleep in that spare room instead
My_Mom: pay it next week, like monday
My_Mom: dad is home the past few days, his back is bad
My_Mom: was raining whole morning, very windy, effects of hurricane rita
My_Mom: so are u going to buy something for the spare room?
she buzzes me
My_Mom: hehe

ME: buy what?
My_Mom: something to sleep in your spare room
ME: i need to clear it out first
My_Mom: i know, but i pay your visa here, that will free up cash for it
My_Mom: we are coming next april for a few days

My_Mom: anyway, c u

ME: how much is the bill? I"ll pay for it, it's okay
My_Mom: 380, u gave me 100 $ from uncle zak, so its 280
My_Mom: dont worry
ME: canaidan money...do you want me to send a check for $200US?
My_Mom: dont worry i said

ME: I'm a bad daughter. I'll pay the bill.
My_Mom: oh man u are so silly

My_Mom: if u think u are bad, why dont u better yourself then
ME: I try but i always fail.
My_Mom: u are doing ok, disagreements happen

My_Mom: what u should try is ... less arguing

ME: okay. I still should pay my own bill though.

My_Mom: well it will even it out when we stay with u
My_Mom: dad went from san jose to victoria the last time, so he still has an open return ticket to ottawa, which he has to use by april

My_Mom: so we go to tarik, fly down to u for a few days, like maybe wednesday/thursday to monday, that gives us the weekend with u, u can show us around then, so dad has met kraig and seen house

My_Mom: wouldnt look good to juliana if we wouldn't visit u
My_Mom: anyway, going offline for a bit, c u later
ME: okay

Email from the Ex....

This is just part of an email...he emailed a friend who emailed his ex girlfriend who's my friend to get a hold of me, so I emailed him, he emailed me, I emailed him back asking for clarity on something since it related to that effing psychic, and this is part of his reply:

As for the premonition, I was super scared for you, it was ultra weird.. We were in this castle which was similar to the mansion at Allerton Park (Illinois), and you and I were talking and spending time together, and then I got this very uneasy feeling and you were like, okay, I'm leaving, bye, out of the blue, and I called out to you, but you were already gone and I couldn't seem to get in touch with you... When I woke up, I had this terrible sense of loss, and maybe I've left out some minor intimate details, but I was really scared that something bad had happened to you - like I had to warn you, but for some reason I can't remember exactly what I had to warn you about... I wish I had more detail, but I am a little sketchy right now... I just had this pressing sense I HAD to call you, like I did about five years ago. I was worried. I hope you're okay.

Please tell me about the psychic.

Regards,
A.

Mr Hall, how do I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some dinner party

OMG i have so much work that needs to be done before tomorrow morning. I'm sure i'll be stuck at work forever tonight.

I really meant to work out last night, but serious exhaustion...I napped for an hour, and then crashed at 10pm.

America's Next Top Model is so insanely fabulous, it's disgusting. The only thing that's missing is good ol' Janice...they couldn't find another bitchy ex-model? Twiggy is WAY too...vanilla...I mean, no one even knew her personality back then as anything other than a vacant thin girl with great eyelashes.

OMG I just spilled my tazo passion tea all over my keyboard and myself. wtf.

Speaking of my keyboard, clearly I'm a huge pig when I sit at my desk...I've got crumbs EVERYWHERE. I think I've already bugged IT enough times for spray air this year (like there's only so many cans you can go through before they start to get annoyed, and you NEVER want IT to be annoyed with you!).

Ugh the gel wrist thingy is all wet. Eww.

And yes, I know, I still haven't booked my flight to vegas. I need to, the costs keep going up, but I just got hit for the bill to renew my wedding ring insurance, which itself isn't that expensive but I need to get it re-appraised and I don't know any jewelers that I trust here in the OC (not that my stone is huge or anything...I just don't like the idea of not having my ring with me, and it's all GIA certified, so I want to inspect the numbers after I get the ring back).

Lost was FABULOUS last night. Amazing. Five thumbs up. Much more of a "regular" Lost episode than last week's was. Plus....we got to see Sawyer! I love that guy. I just don't see how the show could possibly go on past another year...if you assume each year is 44 days to them, well after 88 days by next year I think the novelty will wear off and I"ll expet them to get eaten by thte jolly green giant.

The song of the day (I think this already WAS a song of the day) is Shake It Off by Mariah Carey:
I gotta shake, shake it off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Ohhh yeahhhhh....

IM with my mom

Today's IM....

Note: In Ontario/Canada, you can't buy liquor from just anywhere, like say Albertson's. You can only buy it from the liquore store (LCBO). And beer you buy from The Beer Store. That's it.

My_Mom: hi
My_Mom: r u there?

My_Mom: dad saw your visa bill, u bought something from LCBO. he said buying and giving alcohol to others is not allowed either,

My_Mom: it's like supporting the whole thing altogether, drinking and driving, drinking and violence etc

ME: yeah well someone wanted me to pick something up for them, so i did. I didn't think my father was going to review my visa bill.

My_Mom: he wasnt, he thought it was ours
My_Mom: he didnt look at the name

ME: ok

My_Mom: how much did those towels cost?
My_Mom: maybe I want u to pick up some more

ME: I don't know if they have them in stock, but i can check

My_Mom: accessories I would need a garbage can also, but it may be to heavy

ME: they didnt' have nice accessories for it

My_Mom: like it looks nice if its all the same

ME: okay

Good times, good times....

I'm not touching that with a 60 foot pole

You know how sometimes you wake up and you think "ugh my hair looks like crap today" or "ugh my skin looks like crap today"...

Today is "ugh...I LOOK LIKE CRAP TODAY" day. I look like I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

I think it's safe to say that even when I bowl like a 5 year old kid....when I'm drinking...I can't bowl worth sheeat. Fabulous. Just effing fabulous.

Couldn't find a place to eat last night after (Nicole, now i want Pasta Pomodoro), so I just went home and then went to the gym at around 10:30 (saw the second half of Boston Legal).

Saw this online:
I hate this show, but I want James Spader to do naughty, naughty things to me.


Well I love the show, and really the person means the character Alan Shore...and yes, I think we all agree that we want Alan Shore to do his nastiest to us.

Speaking of nasty...I was running now on my magazine selections at the gym, which meant that I was forced to bring some of the men's magazines we get (why do we have a subscription to FHM, Stuff, Maxim, and Esquire when I'm the one who reads them all?!), so I brought the past 2 months' of Esquire with me to read.

So I read the following, and it made me think...
Is there any way to increase the volume of my ejaculate?
I'm sorry but no pill, shake, or dietary modifications will incrase the volume of your ejaculate, and if anyone tells your different, it's time ot sit down and really reassess that friendship. Most men product between 2.5 and 5 cc's per shot, which is equal to roughly a tablespoon and has a street value of about thirty dollars. Your measure is predetermined by God Himself and inscribed in the Book of LIfe next to your favorite ice cream. Yes, it is possible to achieve your personal most through abstinence, but dont' think you can save up enough to rewallpaper the Palace at Versailles or anything. After about 3 days, the fluid starts to get reabsorbed by the body, where it grows irritable and loses interest in activities it used to enjoy. Eventually, you'll forget it was ever there.

So this is interesting for a multiple of reasons:
1. I said yesterday that you get $20 for making a donation to the sperm bank. I see the rate has increased to $30. My bad.

2. I really did always think that if a guy drank more fluids, then he would shoot out more 'cause he's just got more hydration...like basically giving those swimmers a bigger pool to hang out in.

3. It only recently came to my attention that that stuff gets reabsorbed by the body. I thought it was a bunch of BS. I always thought that unless it gets shot back out, it goes back to whatever reservoir/baggie that's holding it within the male body until the next time round. Like let's say you get it on with a chick but you don't finish...well then I thought that went back and then say two days later you get it on again...well then the same sperm produced 2 days previous is what gets shot out,but i guess that wouldn't be too good if say you didn't get your rocks off for like 10 years or something.

Fascinating stuff.

As usual, the cats woke me up at an unGodly hour...when I go away anywhere I swear, I miss my cats so much it aches. I really do. The drive back always has me jumping up and down becuase I want nothing more than to run through the doors and snuggle Marmalade (which she hates). Like, it makes me sick how much i miss her. She's my buddy.

that being said....you have NO IDEA how much i'm looking forward to SLEEPING IN this weekend. This morning, it's all i could think about at Stash's tail kept flicking me in the effing face. yeah. You're cute. I know. get your fur out of my face and stop purring so damn loud and no that does NOT mean you can go in the boxspring and claw it up for hours.

I can't believe I missed Real World. Sigh.

Tonight's tv lineup: America's Next Top Model and Lost....plus I gotta catch up on the stuff I recorded.... OMG i love tv.

Today's song of the day: Listen to Your Heart by DHT...I hate that version, old skool Roxette is where it's at, but it's always on the radio so I might as well make it a song of the day.

Unrelated note: I was going to end the blog here, but my boss pointed out how no one was here because Barranca had serious traffic issues (I went on Alton, because I stopped to get a bagel, so I had no idea), and I knew that meant that everyone would come in and bitch and gripe and tell me all about it...I kid you not, for 10 minutes straight 3 women here were yakking about the cross streets they took...i'm going to ram my pen in my eye there's nothing more annoying than women either laughing or blabbering on about somethig or other. WOMEN ARE SO G*DDAMN ANNOYING!!!

A whole lot of nothingness

Yeah, I know, I haven't written. Been busy. My brain is elsewhere. Suck it.

I"m blown away that I managed to get to the gym last night, but I didn't do a crazy hard workout, just 30 mins of cardio and I barely broke a sweat. I was thinking while on the elliptical about whether or not people really do change.

Let's backtrack a bit. I actually watched a boatload of TV last night, and I finally got to see that Kitchen Confidential, and someone mentioned that people jsut don't change (wrt 4 years previous)...

4 years ago I was just getting used to living in the US, kinda. I had been living here for a year, which really is like having your first birthday, because everything had to be learned.

5 years ago I remember getting annoyed with my boyfriend becuase he was all into Howard STern (which we don't get in Canada, but he lived close enough to Buffalo where he could get the stations) and South Park, neither of which had the kind of humor that I found funny. Fast forward a few years....and now i'm in anticipation of getting Sirious radio just for Howard, and I was dying laughing at South Park on the screens at the gym. So in 4 or 5 years, can people change?

I came to California thinking that i could finally be a whole new person, since everyone in Ottawa that knows me has known me since we were little...But i get the impression that everyone still sees me the same way, which I don't think is a good thing 'cause I actually WANTED to be someone different.

Whatever.

On a hugely depressing note, Kraig came home last night with a newspaper clipping that shows home prices in OC...our zip code is the ONLY zip code in the entire list that went down in value.
WHAT
THE
F*CK.

I think i'll blame him for this, because he has the worst luck ever. EVER.
EVERRRRRR.
I never had great luck, but I didn't have bad luck either. HE however, has everything bad that can happen. Who buys a Honda Accord and has it break down on a weekly basis? It's an ACCORD for God's sakes! And I knew full well when we bought the house that it was going to go down in value. Ugh.

When we were looking for another cat, after Rusty died (yeah, the cat that had a bad thyroid problem...and when we got it under control, he ends up getting a huge tumor and dies), we saw this big fluffy cat Stash (hence where we got the name for our current kitty) and Kraig fell in love with him...until he saw the note that said the cat had a heart murmur...and we both looked at each other because we knew full well that cat's life would be pretty short if we adopted it.

I gotta remember to book my vegas tix today...i'm SUCH a moron, i should have booked them last week but nooooo, I'm an idiot, and I wanted to hold off...ugh. Now there's barely any affordable flights, I think at best we can fly out at 8am without paying more than $120 each.

I NEED to get my roulette groove on at Excalibur...it's funny how mild mannered budget-conscious people can suddenly go CRAZY in vegas. I'm almost salivating at the thought of roulette right now, you have NO idea. Maybe i can win back the airfare, pfft!

I can't believe the Donald is gonna have a kid...I was sure at 59 that he was shootin' blanks. Go Donald!

Soooooo tired. Last night I had a crazy dream about some comic book hero dude. Very bizarre. And it was New Year's Eve.

Yeah this is all a bunch of random thoughts that don't mean anything, aren't humorous in any way, and your brain is getting dumber by the moment.

The song of the day kids is....NOTHING! Yeah that's right, nothing, so suck it. I have like 5 songs in my head from the drive into work but none of them are blog-worthy so you'll have to appreciate silence.

My last final rant for the moment: I dont' know what mother nature is doing, but she's being awfully cruel to my skin. Thank GOD for foundation. This morning I looked like a christmas tree but with only red lights. Plus the tip of my NOSE is breaking out even....wtf. I haven't switched cleansers or anything recently, so wtf. I think it's just stress, but I don't know what i'm stressed over other than the usual pile of work that's due but i typically procrastinate on.

I think i'm really stressed about my property tax bill, because I want to pay it in full but with the mortgage payment coming up in a few days, that's not happening. I have a long while to pay it, but I"m one of those people that likes ot pay her bills, in full, as soon as they come in. I'm not down with paying this thing in two installments.

I swear, if i had fake boobs, i really would moonlight as a stripper. It's not to say that I think i have a good enough body, but heck even if I made say $100 a night that would cover plenty of our bills. The only reason I woudln't be a stripper ISN'T because I've got an edumacation and you go to school to AVOID being a stripper...but because I would be afraid one of my coworkers would come in and recognize me!

Kraig keeps saying that I should get a job as one of those phone sex operator things...I can BS crazy perverted sex talk with a straight face no problem (ohhh yeahhhh you like livestock? lick that goat...lick it! Harder!)...but how the heck does one get a job doing THAT?!!!

If i were a guy I'd go to a sperm bank regularly and make "donations" for $20....is that how much they get? It's so not fair.

Today's goal: find a way to sleep with your eyes open. While typing.

Saturday morning

Yes I'm a loser, it's 7:16am on a SATURDAY. Stash is back to his habit of clawing his way out of the boxspring mattress, and this morning I attempted to cut the claws that didn't have SoftPaws on them (since he chews them apart anyway) but that didn't work...and now I have to wait till his claws grow back before I can put the SoftPaws back on. Fabulous.

I'm so tired it's out of control.

So to kill time...how about some Friday five this Saturday morning...

Name your guilty pleasure when it comes to:

1. Music.
Does Madonna count as a guilty pleasure? Hmmm okay....Def Leppard and Chicago then...

2. Food and/or drink.
POUTINE all the way...runner up: Doritos. And Chex Mix. Drink? Vitasoy Low Fat Soymilk....I could drink that stuff like it's going out of style.

3. TV and/or movies.
Please. Tv: the WB on a Friday night (yeah yeah...What I Like About You and Reba)...i'm not even the target demographic...it's embarassing.
Movies: Footloose of course! Does Clueless count as a guilty pleasure, 'cause I'm not guilty about loving that at all. Armegeddon is a guilty pleasure (note to self: look into buying that movie)...
OH and the ultimate guilty pleasure90210!!! I'm going to go broke whenever that comes out on DVD.

4. Activities.
I kinda dig scrapbooking, even though the stuff I do makes it look like a 2 year old did it. I keep meaning to make a pretty wedding album...uh yeah i'll get right on that.
Does selling stuff on ebay count as a guilty pleasure? Some people think it's work, but I actually get a thrill out of organizing everything and putting stuff up and then watching the numbers go higher. It's like a game: Sell Sabina's Crap.

5. Reading material.
InStyle doesn't make me feel guilty, so that doesn't count. I've been reading Cosmo again lately. And I've resorted to the fact that in the past 4 years, if I'm going to read a novel, it's going to be some unintelligent Bridget Jones-type book. Jane Green rocks my world.


1. You have half an hour to leave your home, knowing that you will never be back, and anything you leave behind will be destroyed or gone. What do you take? (assuming all the people are taken care of)
My cats! If cats count as people....I would take my "S" necklace (which i think is in a safe deposit box at the bank anyway)...and my financial/insurance/passport stuff. And if time: the negatives for my photos (which i REALLY need to put in the safe deposit box at the bank as well). Oh, and my glasses (i'm assuming refilling my contact lenses might be hard). Plus my purse when out the door.

2. You have twenty-four hours to leave your home, knowing that you will never be back, and anything you leave behind will be destroyed or gone. What do you take? (assuming all the people are taken care of)
Everything above...plus my photos/wedding DVD...all my jewelry...all my underwear...the laptop i got from work...the charger for my cell phone...my most valuable My Little Pony(s) then i'd stuff it all in my car with a ton of blankets and pillows and random clothes.

3. For those of you that have a car: Now answer 1 & 2 assuming you don't. For those of you that don't, assume you do (just a regular-size car, not a Hummer!).
1 would be the same.
2: everything except the blankets and pillows and random clothes.

4. You have to go at least 100 miles away (and if you're coastal, inland) to be safe. Where would you go? Family? Friends? A shelter? How would you get there?
I would drive mother effer. Does Tracy count as "inland" even though it's way up north? I'd probably go to my brother's place.

5. How much would losing your home and possessions affect your life? Would you recover faily quickly? Or would it be disastrous for you?
It would be disastrous. My ultimate plan is to go crazy one weekend photographing and cataloging EVERYTHING for my home insurance, I mean right down to the articles of clothing (since i have a replacement policy, not cash value). I'm crazy paranoid about fires and breakins.

1. How often do you speak to your parent(s)*? Why or why not?
Speak? LIke...once in a blue moon. But my mom IMs me pretty much on a daily basis. Kind of hard when you're international long distance.

2. How often do you visit to your parent(s)*? Why or why not?
At this rate...once every 2 or 3 years. I don't have boatloads of vacation time, and in the past the only time I went home and visited was when I got another job and would have to go home to get a new work visa.

3. What's the most valuable thing you learned from your parents?
Don't know if this is valuable, but just the value of cash and not being super frivolous with it. To plan for the future, to save.

4. What's the most harmful thing you learned from your parents?
General anxiety...being worried that I won't have enough to take care of my family on a daily basis.

5. If you could change one thing about your relationship with your parents, what would it be? Why?
We would talk more and I wouldn't lose my temper within 4 seconds and yell....

1. What's the last gift you gave to someone?
I mailed Stacey her birthday gift.

2. What's the most important thing you've ever found?
I"m assuming by "thing" this means something concrete (not like finding "love" or something retarded like that)...and by "found" i'm assuming this isn't something of mine that I lost...HA i can't think of anything. I once found a copier card (you know, when you're in university and you have to use the photocopiers they charge an arm and a leg on campus and you have to get a copy card with cash on it) with a boatload of dough on it, that was pretty awesome. Oh i found a gold necklace once, but the chain is too long so I never wear it, but it's pretty.
Yeah i don't find interesting stuff.

3. If you could have any device to make your life easier, what would you choose? No, you can't sell it. I'm talking about something for your own use.
I take it this device has to already exist.
One of those cell phones that has a fabulous screen so you can surf the web and all that (built-in PDA types) without me having to pay the fees for the web access. Otherwise...a shnazzy laptop with an insane wireless card that lets me steal my neighbor's internet access.

4. If you could retrieve one thing that you've lost, what would it be?
I don't lose things. I really don't. I break things, sure, but I can count on my hand how many things I've lost. And those are:
Two Club Monaco hoodies...grumble.
An earring once when skiing.
A few CDs...2 Madonna ones, a Mariah Carey one, and I think i'm missing a Linkin Park one.

5. Have you ever had something stolen from you? Was it important?
YES....our workout money at work...important, no, but we EARNED that money.

1. Have you ever quit a job? Tell us a little about it.
HA i've had 17 jobs in 15 years, of course i've quit a job. what can I say? I came, I worked, I left.

2. Have you ever been fired? Tell us a little about it.
No, but i've been laid off a ton. Well not a ton, maybe 3 times?

3. Have you ever been bought as part of a merger or takeover? Tell us a little about it.
Hmmm...go figure....nope. (Later) Oh wait yeah...when I worked at National Trust, the got bought out by ScotiaBank...but by then i had already found another job anyway.

4. Of all the jobs you've had, which job were you saddest to leave? Why?
Le Chateau: it's the longest job I've ever had (4 years), I knew everything about that job/industry like the back of my hand, and I loved my coworkers to the bone. I think I was the longest person there by the time I left. Plus it gave me a TON of self confidence...selling stuff to strangers and making them believe you're their best friend takes alot of balls sometimes.

Symbol: well sad because it was the highest salary i've ever gotten. And my boss was FANTASTIC...he was an ex-military guy, very aggressive, loved pushing the boundaries and in the 1.5 years I was there, he managed to make our little team look like shining stars. I actually learned SOOOO much, and it's sad because after that I went to a company that was nowhere near as progressive and I feel like i'm kinda dumber as a result.

5. Of all the jobs you've had, which job were you happiest to leave? Why?
HA...let's see...other than "grunt jobs" like fast food or yardwork...
There was the job where I worked for a tutoring company, selling their services...it was boring, hard, and...well just boring.

Caspian: I got laid off 3 days after my 1 year anniversary...I was forced to stay there for 1 year, so that whole situation was just effed up. When i hit the 6-month mark of my prison sentence, I cried the entire way to work becuase I was sure I was going commit suicide before leaving. The people were horrible (well, except for Candace, Tony, Joel, and a few others...and we still all talk) and the technology was going nowhere and everything moved at snail's pace and my boss was the WORST BOSS EVER.


1. How much time do you typically spend alone* each day? Each week?
This past month...very little time alone, by the time I've gotten home Kraig's been home. But previously this year...i don't know, say 4 hours if I didn't go out after work?

2. Would you like more or less alone time?
MUCH more. I just like having my space to do my thing and not have to be NICE to people. People in general suck. And i'm sick of smiling (saturday morning crankiness right now).

3. What do you typically do during your alone time? (Or, if you don't get any, what would you do?)
Typically...watch tv...clean...organize crap...

4. How much time did you typically spend alone as a child? Did you want more or less alone time?
I spent alot of time alone...usually reading...i mean, my parents were obviously always home but it's not like as a kid you're going to have this crazy social life after work ("hey mom, drive me all over town...."), but overall i was a HUGE introvert as a kid. The "shy one".

5. How does being alone usually make you feel? Refreshed? Antsy?
Makes me feel...calm...like i've finally organized my crap and gotten my life in order.

1. How old are you?
28...you effing bastard.

2. How old do you feel? Why?
Hmmm...19...because under 19, I was WAYYYYY too mature for my age...but then after 19, and going to university, I think i stunted my own mental growth and now i'm too immature for my age.

3. How old would you like to be? Why?
Around 15...that's around the time when i can start maxing out what i already know.
If i'm not allowed to know what I already know, then 23...that's when i moved out of my parents house...i'd enjoy my freedom all over again!

4. What was your best age? Why?
18...I had finally gotten over my stupid 1st boyfriend (did I mention yet how i'd love to bash him with a crowbar?!) and I realized that everything i had gotten from ONE guy, i could get from a TON of guy friends so I didn't need a bf (that's the longest stretch i've ever gone, 1 year, without a boyfriend in my life). I was working super hard in school, was on top of the graduating class, was old enough to go clubbing in Hull (Quebec for you US folks), and I just generally felt REALLY good about myself.

5. What was your worst age? Why?
Ugh 19 to 22. University was just horrible. Bad. EVIL! Evil I tell you. I mean, overall I had a good time with friends and socializing, but I shouldn't have studied what I did, I hated the school, and I didn't feel the same passion that I did in high school to have this wonderful career blah blah.
Too bad Quarter Life Crisis wasn't around for me back then :P

If you've actually read this far, you must be uber bored.

1. How often do you generally say "I love you" to people you are romantically involved with? Why that often?
Daily....why? Because it's my husband and it's the right thing to do, in case I get hit by a bus and he has to be stuck thinking how I didn't say "I love you" that day.

2. How often do you generally say "I love you" to your friends? Why that often?
Lol not that often...usually either when i'm drunk or just writing in emails "dude! I love you! You rock!" type of things.

3. How often do you generally say "I love you" to your mother? Father? Other family? Why that often?
I've REALLY been trying with my mom, because i'm a bad daughter and I SHOULD say that crap more often. As for other family: uh yeah we just don't say it. We know it. We just don't say it.

4. When was the first time you said "I love you" to someone in a romantic context? What were the circumstances?
My first boyfriend Kevin (see crowbar comment, above)...i don't remember at all how that came about...and I do NOT say the "L-word" first ever. Never ever. Ever. EVER.

5. When was the last time you said "I love you" to someone, in any context? What were the circumstances?
Probably last night to Kraig before going to sleep.

Well it's 8am, and the cats are driving me crazy wanting food, so I guess I should continue with the laundry after I'm done feeding them. ARGH Marmalade is on my lap right now and keeps rubbing her nose against my face and it's cute but all slimey....

We're too syncopated

Okay so i found my planner (don't ask people, don't ask). So now I can get my head out of my ass and get my life back on track...i was in limbo 'cause I didn't know what the heck was going on with anything.

On another note, if i ever become rich, i'm gonna get myself a Vivienne Westwood knuckleduster. Granted i know they're probably illegal in California, but it's SO pretty and hey, a girl's gotta protect herself when she's rich and has designer labels everywhere okay who are we kidding...i could win a gazillion dollars and I"ll still shop at Target.

Last night I went for an impromtu bikini wax.

I haven't had one in 3 years. I used to get them somewhat regularly (well nto like monthly, but a few times a year)....Geezus there's a REASON that mother nature makes it so that women forget pain, like in childbirth...

I totally forgot how painful they are. Plus when you wax, you're supposed to put your hando n the spot RIGHT after the hair is ripped out, to help minimize the pain. Well the lady wasn't doing that, and i was YELPING so bloody loud, but I didn't want to tell her that it hurt 'cause I have this theory that if you tell the waxing people that it hurts, then won't go as "far" as they normally would, or do as good of a job because they feel they need to gety ou in and out with the least amount of pain.

Pain ist goot.

I didn't think I"d go back to her again, because there's this chick in Ladera Ranch that I like (but as i said, this was impromptu...i went to a salon right by work), but this lady was GOOD. She spent FOREVER with her itty bitty tweezers getting all perfect...damn, I could be a centerfold right now.

Yeah, TMI, whatever. For the HOUR of pain i suffered yesterday, damn right i'm going to tell the world about it. Lord help everyone whenever i get plastic surgery...i'm going to have graphic surgery pictures that i'll show everyone...i'll keep them in my wallet.

dash dash dash....

I came home last night, plopped myself in front of the TV and caught up on 2 days' worth of Bold and the Beautiful (I really need to start recording Days again, but i have this one spoiler site that tell everything written so beautifully, it's almost not worth it. Although Kathy Griffin will be on MOnday's episode). As much as we all know Eric shouldn't marry Bridget, her dress was SOOOO pretty....

And then, good ol' OC. And speaking of wedding dresses, I think we all felt really sorry for Julie Cooper...and she looked lovely as well. I do want to note, for anyone who might care: youcan't sleep on the beach. WEll okay I don't know about private beaches, but public beaches...yeah that's not happening. And i would SOOOO frame that school dean jackass who's clearly canoodling with Miss Perky School Chick.

Back on the subject of wedding dresses...

I wish I had more occasions to wear beautiful gowns. I wish i had the CASH for beautiful gowns. I still look at bridal magazines and think about the perfect wedding dress (who says that after you get married, you can't still look at bridal gowns?)...see, I didn't get the one I REALLY wanted...i mean, i love my dress and it was beautiful, but the dress I wanted was really form fitting and the beading was just gorgeous.

It's sad when the only time you get to dress up is your stupid company holiday party. And I didn't even GO this year. All i know is that for the January party, i want a white dress ("winter white"...ivory if i have to, black and white worst case)....

The song of the day children is Breathe On Me by Britney Spears. That's the song that plays in the commerical for her new perfume, Fantasy

Say what you want about Britney...but her last perfume, Curious, was a SUPER top seller. And the commercial for it (the full 1-2 minute one) was fantastic (Rex, from Days, was in it).

G*DDAMN there's cookies EVERYWHERE here at work, and i've already eaten 2 big ones and a bag of Famous Amos from the vending machine...i need to write a book How to barely function and be vitamin deficient by eating baked carbs all day.

Ending my blog now...sorry Nic, i know you said i had to make mine longer, I'll write more this afternoon.

Someone's laugh here at work is making me insane

Alright so i've got a bit of time to write.

Nicole, i'll let you blog about those 3 things that should never be said otherwise will cause BAD reactions...

(Wow, Ryan's gone to the bathroom THREE times since lunch...and it's not even 3pm)

ARGH tons of random emails and i can't get to my blog...must clear brain...okay.

So today's song of the day children: Hung Up by Madonna. I know it's not formally released but there's bits of it on the web, and it's fantastic. She's back to her clubbing roots...I love it. I didn't even buy her last album because i was so enraged by her crappiness with her latest endeavors (and i am the BIGGEST Madonna fan...). So this'll be good.

Yesterday I stayed late at work, but left somewhat early (i.e. before i got everything finished) because I had to get to Laguna Hills mall since Stefanie told me i had to check out the sale at The Limited. Sadly, on my way TO Limited, I walked through Macy's...and picked up 2 pairs of jeans, neither of which are really appropriate for work and I try to keep all my pants/jeans decent enough to wear to work (since that's where i spend all my bloody time).

After that I planned on going to the gym, but by the time i was done watching all my shows (B&TB, RW, LB), I was sooo zonked i fell asleep at 10pm, which is normally when I got to the gym.

Wow that was the most BORING blog entry ever. What can I say....I lead a way boring life.

I think i'm gonna go with both Nicoles to the fortune teller. I think that stuff is a bunch of bull (although i'm an extreme believer of astrology)...but I've been having so many bizarre dreams lately, and with everyone wondering if/when I'm going to get pregnant, I might as well just let a fortune teller tell me the deal.

It's better than the alternative (waiting to find out myself? Puh-lease. A chicken with it's head cut off would probably fare better in life.

On another note, I totally forgot (PLANNER! HELLO!) that one of my stupid IRAs is expiring in like 2 days, and i desperately need to make sure it doesn't roll over. In the past 4 years, $3K has got me barely any money...the rate on it is horrible (like seriously, i think 1.74%), at the time I rolled it over I didn't know anything about American financial things, and I did figure i'd move back to Canada...what did I know about 401Ks and IRAs?

I really do feel like what most people learn in the first 24 years of life, I had to learn asap the minute i moved here. It was like being born again. FICO scores, political jargon, SATs, geography...

Since I'm still learning, I pretty much feel like the biggest gimp living here.

On another note, I gotta go staple a bunch of stuff. Frickin' work....

Rain rain go away, come back some other day

Today's random thought...what with the weather and all....

I MISS THUNDERSTORMS.

And only poeple from Canada or the East Coast can relate to this. If you're from California, I don't want to hear about the storm of 1998 or 1966 or whatever. Unless you were bruised from the hailstorm as you ran inside, you don't know storms. Unless you were sent home because the city was in an "ice storm watch", you don't know storms. Unless you've heard 3 hours straight of NONSTOP thundering AND lightening AND torrential downpour, you don't know storms. Unless you saw a cow electrocuted, you don't know storms.

okay i never saw that last one, but it could happen.

Heck, i have yet to really see a torrential downpour. I mean, people here gripe like crazy over nothing. Someone today was all "did you get caught in the downpour?"...i'm all "Dude...it's DRIZZLING"...

I have never feared that hail might damage my car...with baseball-sized dents.

You know what though? I miss it. SO bad. I used to stare out the window for hours, getting no sleep, when we had thunderstorms. It's like, man against nature type of thing. Or nature vs. nature, really, to see how much rain can fall before everything gets flooded and falls apart (and no, the mudlides this year don't count worth jack. That took MONTHS to do. Try a few hours of rain).

And honestly...there's nothing better than being horribly depressed, crying over some random issue, and watching a thunderstorm. It's the only time the outside is a reflection of how you feel on the inside, and you feel vindicated when it's over.

So i've decided the song of the day should be Time After Time (not the INOJ version, the original Cyndi Lauper one)...
the second hand unwinds...if you're lost and you can look and you will find me...time after time...if you fall i will catch you i'll be waiting....

Okay time to slap myself awake....

Only Tuesday?

Okay kids, no song of the day because my brain has like 5 running through them right now...think Def Leppard mixed with Pussycat Dolls.

I totally suck...after leaving Nicole's place last night I came home and realized that I hadn't DVRed Laguna Beach...ugh! ANd i KNOW it was a good episode! WTF!

On another note, i'm kind of surprised H&M dropped Kate Moss from their ads...you'd think all publicity is good publicity...i wonder if Rimmel will drop her too.

On another note, I got my property tax bill...but it's slightly less than last year, which makes no sense, because my home was assessed at a higher value....anyway, my bill is $5,261.50....shoot me now, please....

HOLY FUCK

Excuse my language

But i just found something out about someone

And i'm so effing livid...

I swear i could punch her face in, snotty little beatch.

IM with my mom

Today's IM conversation with my mom:

My_MOM : hi whats up, whats new, how are the cats
ME : cats are fine

My_MOM : what did u do over the weekend
My_MOM : a nasty looking hawk was in our backyard ready to bounce on a poor sparrow. the sparrows where all chirping loud worried. the hawk didnt come closer, cause i was sitting on the swing and the sparrow's huddled close the bushes above me

ME : egads

My_MOM : poor sparrows, luckily i sat there, so the hawk didnt come closer and flew off

My_MOM : hows work?
My_MOM : plenty to do? no chance getting led off?
ME : there's always that chance

My_MOM : ((yahoo IM unhappy face))

My_MOM : should always see who is looking for technical writers, so u know which company needs them
ME : okay

My_MOM : what did u do over the weekend
ME : it was kraig's birthday

My_MOM : oops and i forgot
My_MOM : thats just it, we leave to far away to remember those things

My_MOM : ((yahoo angry IM face, and then the "buzz" sound))
My_MOM : c u later

I'll be your French maid, where I'll meet you at the door

Well it's 8:30am here on a Monday morning, and as usual I can't even think about work until I get stuff off my brain.

First off, Marcia Cross is the most gorgeous redhead ever...

Secondly, my bruises are WORSE....Stefanie, wtf did you do to me?!

Thirdly, I"m SO pissed. I keep my life in my planner...well that and a book of stamps...and i KNOW i left it on my desk, and now it's gone...i mean, it kinda could pass for a wallet, but i'm seriously mad and this is the second time crap has gone missing here at work, and every time we try to talk to the facilities guy he tells us to not be so quick to think it's the cleaning crew...okay yeah 'cause my coworkers would steal a jar of cash with maybe $4 in it?!

I'm seriously so annoyed by that, you have no idea...i'm going to do ONE last final lookthrough around my house in the event that i may have brought it home, but I'm positive it was on my filing cabinet last time i saw it. DAMN i'm so pissed.

Fourthly, I'm on my 2nd last Tazo Passion Tea and I sure hope my boss will let me sneak out and get more.

Fifthly, I have so much work to do this week it's crazy out of control.

Sixthly: The song of the day chidren is Drop It Like It's Hot by Mr. Dogg....

Seventhly: I watched Clueless AGAIN this weekend, but i didn't watch the special features yet.

Eightly: I'm so exhausted, it's crazy out of control.

Ninthly: Lost this week is going to be CRAZY awesome...

Tenthly: Desperate Housewives on Sunday is going to be goooooooooooooooooooood....

Okay time to start waking up, must bitch slap self awake.....

EDITED TO ADD: SEE...wtf...i forgot about poker on Friday...because I have no planner....i'm SO pissed....seriously...i'm going to beat the crap out of whoever took it, i'm THAT irate...

Power Puff Girls Tattoos and other tales of woe

Surprisingly, for as plastered as I was last night (which was pretty much at "one more sip and I'll pass out" levels), I'm not hungover at all. My throat is sore and I'm tired, but that's it.

Today's song of the day: Gold Digger. (insert part where i'm supposed to bitch about the censorship of songs and why do they bother playing it if they're going to bleep everything out...really though my issue is that if you're going to make a fantastic song, just make a crappy radio version as well)....

One interesting thing to note...

I think smoking is nasty. I mean, WAY nasty. I've done it a few times, all drunk, and really just to keep me warm while standing in line in the freezing snow going to a bar. However it's just gross, and it's gross to be around people who smoke. And kissing a smoker? I'd rather lick my toilet clean.

Last night there was this dude who kept stopping to talk to me (bragging about some computer crap until i was like "hey jackass, we both have the same degree so you can stop your boasting now"), and with all honesty if I were single I probably would have spent more time chatting with him. Later though I saw him outside, smoking, and I was like "EW you are so vile!"...

Which brings me to my point: granted in California the entire time i've lived here, there's been no indoor smoking but pretty much the entire time i've been here I was "taken" so picking up guys wasn't a high priority.

But back in Ottawa, you could still smoke in bars at the time...and at least back then, if you're gonna hook up, you could at least distinguish the smokers from the nonsmokers. It's almost DECEITFUL to me that you can chat it up with a girl and turn out to be a smoker. You might as well tell me that you have a prosthetic penis or something.

In other news...

Somehow my right leg is ALL gashed up, which makes no sense because in my drunkeness, I KNOW that i didn't trip...i mean, i've got WELTS. And they hurt. No idea what I did last night that would have prompted that.

I have NO voice. That's probably the crappiest part about going out...my voice already sounds like a teenage boy's voice...whenever my family used to call the house, they'd think I was my brother (to this day they probably wouldn't recognize it), I know i gripe about a ton of stuff about myself but at least those are all things that are modifyable (even if by surgery)...there's not much i can do about my voice but let it be known, deep down, i'm so insecure about it and it's lack of femininity kills me. And now it's all raspy, so i sound like some 90 year old smoker.

Greaaattttt....

Sometimes...

Amazing how after 4.5 years of being with someone, they can still say something so uncharacteristic that you're actually blown away by the sweetness of it all:

This will help get me that experience and hopefully I will be able to land (or continue to get promotions here) a very good paying job so that you wont have to worry about our future and we can start a family.

He deserves SERIOUS credit for even saying that to me...way to score brownie points (cater to my anxiety, and you'll ALWAYS score points with me!)

Eeep...review day

Okay so I've got this major thing to do 'cause I'm running a meeting this afternoon, but if I don't do a brain dump it'll never get done.

Running through my mind, from the Smallville soundtrack (of which, i'm pleased to say that i actually caught an episode last night on TV which rarely happens...G**DDAMN Tom Welling is so fine):
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?


That's the song of the day kids. By Lifehouse.

In other news...

Also caught some of Rock Star: INXS last night. That's the show that never ends, wtf. Brooke's hair drives me crazy (can we PLEASE cut those extensions? And can we PLEASE add some pitch to that monotone "i'm reading the teleprompter" voice?! So of course the only reason I even watch that show is 'cause I think Mig is insanely hot, and I will never admit that it's 'cause he's got that I'm with the band thing going on. My only beef with him is that his pants last night were WAY too tight, which even then I would have no problems with but all I could think of was how my thighs are ten times bigger than his, and that's depressing 'cause no chick wants to be with a guy when her thighs can smother him.

And Kraig's all "Did you like it when he ripped his shirt?"...actually mother effer, I did. 'Cause i approve of guys who wax their chest. ALL guys should. It should be a requirement of society. And it's DEFINITELY not gay to do some manscaping...after all, it's ridiculously painful and the average guy doesn't have the balls for that kind of pain.

Speaking of, I guess if i'm gonna start wearing skirts as often as I have been, i'm just going to get my legs/bikini waxed...that's gonna hurt like a b*tch...haven't done that in awhile.