So last night I didn't end up getting to see Jenn, but it worked out 'cause i had to return some stuff and get Kraig some Nyquil (stupid Target...they only had Dayquil which did NOT do the job! I wanted him to be knocked out). Got my tv groove on, took a brief nap, went to the gym (Yes Nic, it's all good...they still think i'm you :P)....
Laguna Beach: Okay if i ever see that Kristin beotch in real life, i'm gonna smack her. I can't BELIEVE she said Casey was all "Mission Viejo...inland Orange County"...i mean, it's one thing to make fun of RIVERSIDE or something...but inland Orange County? What is that, like, Irvine?! But the MV reference....part of me was ready to cry, all "But...my home is half a million dollars....and yes i'm doing interest only so really i'm just renting my home but whatever you little brat" even though i'm sure she's making more in promotional appearances than I"m making in my salary but whatever.
I still say Jessica is exactly how I was at that age.
You know what I want to be when I finally grow up?! I want to be on Sweet Sixteen....I want to have a fabulous 16th birthday part that cost over $100K where everyone does what I want and everyone's jealous of me.
Some people want to be CEOs, presidents, astronauts when they grow up...i want to be WEALTHY.
So I've been emailing my ex, and i'm sure eventually he'll find this blog but for now this is SO worth blogging about...I asked him more detail about his dream, and he wrote this (scattered between other parts of his email that i'm not going to bore anyone with...plus i added paragraph breaks because it was hard on the eyes):
Intimate details. I remember them. I thought it would be more appropriate to censor the discussion because you are married, I am in a relationship, we have not spoken in so long, and I was more concerned than anything else... In the dream, we were very close, you were being very friendly, many smiles, it was like you wanted to comfort me, at this stage you were wearing normal Sabina dress, many people were around us in the Allerton mansion,
we were in some kind of large hall with a fireplace, talking, the conversation may have taken hours, we were just yakking like old friends, but as the dream progressed, your attire changed (more to come in a moment), your demeanour remained mostly the same, friendly, open, but now with a tinge of desire - your words were no longer reassuring, but a bit demanding, you began to tell me about certain things you were missing that I could fill, I stepped back to take a look at you, and your attire had changed to an inappropriate outfit for the public eye - stockings attached to garter, tiny black panties, the top was some kind of strange pleather, which is totally weird, again, your demeanour was still normal,
but it was bizarre because of the people around (none of whom were gazing upon this spectacle!), we were transported to a hotel room, where we continued to talk, and the hotel may have come first in the story, I'm not sure, but at this stage we became very intimate and I helped you meet your unfulfilled desires, which was fun for me, because some of your desires were focused on my needs (yay Sabina), this part of the dream was not as vivid as Allerton, but it is coming back to me, we decided to wrap things up at the hotel, enough is enough, and you were trying to be super sexy independent devil may care Sabina, and then ...
back to Allerton, in normal garb, to chat some more, but this time a little more distance between us, I could sense something was wrong but you wouldn't let me in, and a forthcoming swift goodbye (kind of like, I got what I needed so cya!), the echoes of my calling your name fill the mansion which was normal-sized in the earlier part of the dream but now became like an M.C.Escher huge medieval castle...
the feeling was like, we connected, I did my part, but now had a sense of impending doom .. for you? for me? for Allerton? it was really unclear...
your good-bye made me fearful that you might be hiding something, something I could help you with... When I awoke I was perturbed. So, I dished the details and skimped on the intimate parts again, what can I say, writing about these things makes me impresses on my comfort level.
I think I laughed so hard, I was crying.
Later in his blurb he mentioned:
Faune's been great, we are very close, but sometimes we have big almost-breakup moments, zero drama in comparison to us, but still realistic.
Ohhh yes, the drama....so very Ike and Tina...although really, I think that's just me...I'd like to think now i'm MUCH more calm and less caring in the big picture (like it's not all about the "principle of the matter" like it used to be...winning the argument isn't important to me, ENDING the argument is important to me)...but with him especially, because he was so huge (6'4, 240lbs), seeing him angry, crying, upset was like watching The Incredible Hulk if he found out his mom died...
Today is the official day i put the smackdown on the dry cleaner who jacked up my dress.
In other news, I searched for a chunk of my CDs...i'm missing another Madonna CD, an Our Lady Peace CD (the best one too...dammit), and my Vanessa Paradis CD....the first one isn't a big deal, I can't get that anywhere, but the other two are harder...especially the Vanessa Paradis one (yes, Johnny Depp's wife...but of course she wasn't at the time)...
So in honor of me not being able to find my Vanessa Paradis CD, the song of the day is Dis lui toi que je t'aime by Vanessa Paradis
Je n'veux pas annoncer la couleur
Entre toi et moi
Je vois l'émoi
Quand il comprendra sa douleur
Toi tu es le seul double de moi
Dis-lui toi que je t'aime
C'est toujours le même dilemme
Un jour ou toujours qui sait
Combien de mois d'émoi cela va durer
I'm kind of in a cranky mood right now, and probably very prone to writing stuff that I'll regret later, so I'll leave the blog at this for now...I'm so tired, I wish I didn't have to wake up at 6:30 every day (well....6:30 and then hit snooze till 6:45....)...
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