From Esquire Magazine
13 Things You Don't Know About Women, by Felicity Huffman (I love her, so that's why I'm writing this)
1. It's not really the shoes. It's how they make our legs look. True, except when you're wearing pants...sometimes the shoes themselves are like a work of art.
2. Women also fantasize during sex.
Ohhh 'cause guys would never dream of that happening to them!
3. And sometimes those fantasies are about shoes.
You know, I've never done that, but dang that would make me hot and heavy too.
4. If you want to see us naked more often, turn up the damn thermostat.
SO TRUE!!! I've got a drawer of frilly little things...but what do i end up wearing? A big sweatshirt, track pants, and socks to sleep! If it were up to me I'd have a thousand blankets on the bed.
5. A big dick is a bore if it's attached to a big dick.
True dat!
6. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty.
Yeah so not pretty, it's not really peeing so much as just expelling fluids everywhere. NOT attractive.
7. We can't hear a word yuo're saying if there are hairs coming out of your nose.
8. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up.
EXACTLY!!!
9. Want sex? Fix something.
Yep, i put this under the "the most romantic thing a guy can do is vacuum" category. I'm telling you, it's all about chopping wood...guys getting back to being all manly and stuff....that's what i'm talkin' about!
10. Women want empathy, not advice.
I actually tend to disagree, because I really do want to find solutions to problems, otherwise i tend to just bottle everything up if i know there's no advice that can be given. So...that's a guideline for any guy out there.
11. It's still a man's world, and some of it you can keep.
12. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every 28 days.
I never thought about it that way. YES indeed that is a valid reason for craziness.
13. Some handy translations for men:
"You're working too hard" = "you're not spending enough time with me"
"No presents for my birthday" = "Surprise me!"
"What are you thinking about" = "do you still love me?"
YES YES YES she nailed it! That IS what we mean, and I didn't even know what I meant when i said it, but YES YES YES that's what we mean!
"Do you want to talk about it" = I want to talk about it"
"Fuck you. I can't stand you" = "Fuck you. I can't stand you"
So I was in a weird mood the past few days which caused me to listen to stupid sappy stuff in my car but now i'm OVER that mood (see the "insides falling out every 28 days" comment, above) I'll make the song of the day the king of all sappy ones and be done with it.
The song of the day is Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins
Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh
When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care
Yep, that's the good stuff when you're in a weird sappy bizarre mood.
And i still want that bracelet. THAT's what I want to fantastize about.
Edited to add: dang why did I click on this on the Blogger website?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Quickie Blog...sometimes you just gotta have it quick
Letters to the editor:
I DON'T YELL!!!... and is there a difference if the CPG is Asian? Just wanna know.
Let's review the acronyms briefly:
CFG: Crazy Fun Girl. This is a good thing.
PC:Psycho Chick. Bad thing. BAD THING. Run like mad.
I'm assuming you meant the latter.
Is there a difference? Nope...PC knows no ethnicity, no borders...I dunno, maybe if she's asian she might be a sexy Psycho Chick, but still psycho is psycho and its just a bad scene.
On another note, I thought this was hilarious: Madonna has a MySpace page
And yes it's hers, I got the link from her website.
The song of the day is the song for the Laguna Beach finale commercial, It's Good To Be In Love by Frou Frou
It's good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I'm happy you're in love,
'Cause every colour goes where you do.
(click here to be reminded of the song in case you forgot that wonderful 30 second clip of the commercial...sigh...i'll be so sad when those silly kids grow up!)
Done with the random thought, onto the griping...
1. I hate my exit off the highway...every morning it's a power struggle between the people who want to exit the 5 at Alton vs. the people getting on the highway and trying to get into more lanes...pain in my ass.
2. WTF is wrong with the voting public! ARHGHGHG! I almost beat myself with my own purse while listening to the results on the radio this morning.
3. I can't stand this weather. Yeah, it's like perfect picnic weather. I know. But I don't know what to wear each morning, I have either uber winter clothing or summery crap, and either way I end up spending half my day at work FREEZING or SWEATING BUCKETS...temperature modulation isn't so great.
I think i'm going to buy that Frou Frou CD...it's not my kind of music, although I do dig Enya and it's similar, and I have to go buy that Madonna CD on Tuesday anyway. Now if only I could find my missing OLP and Vanessa Paradis CDs, i'd be set.
I DON'T YELL!!!... and is there a difference if the CPG is Asian? Just wanna know.
Let's review the acronyms briefly:
CFG: Crazy Fun Girl. This is a good thing.
PC:Psycho Chick. Bad thing. BAD THING. Run like mad.
I'm assuming you meant the latter.
Is there a difference? Nope...PC knows no ethnicity, no borders...I dunno, maybe if she's asian she might be a sexy Psycho Chick, but still psycho is psycho and its just a bad scene.
On another note, I thought this was hilarious: Madonna has a MySpace page
And yes it's hers, I got the link from her website.
The song of the day is the song for the Laguna Beach finale commercial, It's Good To Be In Love by Frou Frou
It's good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I'm happy you're in love,
'Cause every colour goes where you do.
(click here to be reminded of the song in case you forgot that wonderful 30 second clip of the commercial...sigh...i'll be so sad when those silly kids grow up!)
Done with the random thought, onto the griping...
1. I hate my exit off the highway...every morning it's a power struggle between the people who want to exit the 5 at Alton vs. the people getting on the highway and trying to get into more lanes...pain in my ass.
2. WTF is wrong with the voting public! ARHGHGHG! I almost beat myself with my own purse while listening to the results on the radio this morning.
3. I can't stand this weather. Yeah, it's like perfect picnic weather. I know. But I don't know what to wear each morning, I have either uber winter clothing or summery crap, and either way I end up spending half my day at work FREEZING or SWEATING BUCKETS...temperature modulation isn't so great.
I think i'm going to buy that Frou Frou CD...it's not my kind of music, although I do dig Enya and it's similar, and I have to go buy that Madonna CD on Tuesday anyway. Now if only I could find my missing OLP and Vanessa Paradis CDs, i'd be set.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Waiting for your call baby night and day
Some news tidbits....
RETURN TO THE ROAD: Madonna may launch a tour in support of her new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which hits stores Nov. 15. The first single, "Hung Up," is heating up the charts and is also being featured in episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY this week.
One week.
One week.
ONE EFFING WEEK.
I've seen her twice in concert, both times I was a little disappointed (I mean, for $100/ticket, I should be!) but this is VERY dance-ish...so she won't sit around playing a stupid effing guitar (Okay, I get it, you learned an intrument. Give the girl a prize. Now put on some cones and dance like a mofo). So I would for SURE go see her again. I love my Madge.
JOCK SHOCKED: Howard Stern receiving a one-day suspension from his morning radio show after he spent much of Monday promoting his move to Sirius Satellite Radio next year. He's due back on air Wednesday.
Yes....YES YES c'mon Howard, keep doing that...because I bought a few Sirius stocks (and i mean, seriously, a FEW...i don't have oodles of cash to blow on stocks when I could buy that gorgeous, gorgeous bracelet) and yesss it went up...thank you Howard!
So after months of discussing the merits of Crazy Fun Girl (which by the way, is even kind of mentioned in the December issue of Glamour, except the girl to the extreme), we do need to mention Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl comes into play after you've been dating for a guy for awhile and you realize you really like him.
I mean, REALLY like him.
This is where you realize that he could possibly leave you, 'cause he's bored with you and the initial 3-month novelty has worn off. So chicks go into extreme psycho mode because they get paranoid. PARANOIA is key here.
Some of the behaviors of Psycho Girl:
- she goes through the guy's wallet in search of other girls' numbers (okay I did this within the first week of being with Kraig, but he moved in right away and always left his wallet around, that's his tough luck for moving in with a chick he barely knew!)
- she suddenly has a fascination with the stupid car he drives...which is psycho if the chick is the type to really not give a crap about cars other than if they get her to work and the A/C functions in summer... (oh many a discussion with Tony over whether a Mustang is a decent car or white trash)
- she listens to his voicemails over and over and over and OVER and over and over and over again, because of course, she's got them saved I suppose in this day and age that would apply to text messages as well...texting wasn't prevalent last time I was single, but I'll just toss that in for benefits sake since some people just don't talk anymore, they text....
- she buys clothes based on whether he'll like her in it. And we're not talking "oh i need a cute outfit for our date"...we're talking looking at clothes she would NOT normallyw ear, colors, whatever, but knowing that it's something HE would like, she buys it knowing that if things don't work out, she'll never wear that top/skirt/outfit ever again. I eventually got rid of the stuff that i bought that i thought kraig would like...i had this one tank top with an anime print on it...the top was cute but it was GREEN, which made me look like i was going to die, but i wanted him SOOO badly to think that i was some hip anime chick wtf....
- She thinks about him on an obsession level. We're talking, keeping Friday/Sat/Sun free just in CASE he calls and says he's free. It's the stuff that Calvin Klein bottles and sells at the perfume counter at Macy's.don't get me started, I could have started a frickin' CLOTHING line when i got to this point....
- She desperately wants to have "the talk" and probably ends up caving, and there's a good chance the guy behaves like a deer in headlights which only fuels the Psycho Chick behavior even more.
- basically Psycho Chick is pretty much a different person from the original girl the guy started dating in the first place
Now keep in mind these are generalizations and yadda yadda, i'm just saying that if you acknowledge the existence/theory of Crazy Fun Girl, then you have to acknowledge Psycho Chick as well. The key is to overcome this, to keep it bottled inside and let her out with your girlfriends, because once you can get past Psycho Chick mode then it's smoooooth sailing into Coupledom....
The song of the day, because it's been in my head, is All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard (yes, again)
I don’t know how to leave you
And I don’t know how to stay
I’ve got things that I must tell you
That I don’t know how to say
Damn, i really want that effing bracelet.
RETURN TO THE ROAD: Madonna may launch a tour in support of her new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which hits stores Nov. 15. The first single, "Hung Up," is heating up the charts and is also being featured in episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY this week.
One week.
One week.
ONE EFFING WEEK.
I've seen her twice in concert, both times I was a little disappointed (I mean, for $100/ticket, I should be!) but this is VERY dance-ish...so she won't sit around playing a stupid effing guitar (Okay, I get it, you learned an intrument. Give the girl a prize. Now put on some cones and dance like a mofo). So I would for SURE go see her again. I love my Madge.
JOCK SHOCKED: Howard Stern receiving a one-day suspension from his morning radio show after he spent much of Monday promoting his move to Sirius Satellite Radio next year. He's due back on air Wednesday.
Yes....YES YES c'mon Howard, keep doing that...because I bought a few Sirius stocks (and i mean, seriously, a FEW...i don't have oodles of cash to blow on stocks when I could buy that gorgeous, gorgeous bracelet) and yesss it went up...thank you Howard!
So after months of discussing the merits of Crazy Fun Girl (which by the way, is even kind of mentioned in the December issue of Glamour, except the girl to the extreme), we do need to mention Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl comes into play after you've been dating for a guy for awhile and you realize you really like him.
I mean, REALLY like him.
This is where you realize that he could possibly leave you, 'cause he's bored with you and the initial 3-month novelty has worn off. So chicks go into extreme psycho mode because they get paranoid. PARANOIA is key here.
Some of the behaviors of Psycho Girl:
- she goes through the guy's wallet in search of other girls' numbers (okay I did this within the first week of being with Kraig, but he moved in right away and always left his wallet around, that's his tough luck for moving in with a chick he barely knew!)
- she suddenly has a fascination with the stupid car he drives...which is psycho if the chick is the type to really not give a crap about cars other than if they get her to work and the A/C functions in summer... (oh many a discussion with Tony over whether a Mustang is a decent car or white trash)
- she listens to his voicemails over and over and over and OVER and over and over and over again, because of course, she's got them saved I suppose in this day and age that would apply to text messages as well...texting wasn't prevalent last time I was single, but I'll just toss that in for benefits sake since some people just don't talk anymore, they text....
- she buys clothes based on whether he'll like her in it. And we're not talking "oh i need a cute outfit for our date"...we're talking looking at clothes she would NOT normallyw ear, colors, whatever, but knowing that it's something HE would like, she buys it knowing that if things don't work out, she'll never wear that top/skirt/outfit ever again. I eventually got rid of the stuff that i bought that i thought kraig would like...i had this one tank top with an anime print on it...the top was cute but it was GREEN, which made me look like i was going to die, but i wanted him SOOO badly to think that i was some hip anime chick wtf....
- She thinks about him on an obsession level. We're talking, keeping Friday/Sat/Sun free just in CASE he calls and says he's free. It's the stuff that Calvin Klein bottles and sells at the perfume counter at Macy's.don't get me started, I could have started a frickin' CLOTHING line when i got to this point....
- She desperately wants to have "the talk" and probably ends up caving, and there's a good chance the guy behaves like a deer in headlights which only fuels the Psycho Chick behavior even more.
- basically Psycho Chick is pretty much a different person from the original girl the guy started dating in the first place
Now keep in mind these are generalizations and yadda yadda, i'm just saying that if you acknowledge the existence/theory of Crazy Fun Girl, then you have to acknowledge Psycho Chick as well. The key is to overcome this, to keep it bottled inside and let her out with your girlfriends, because once you can get past Psycho Chick mode then it's smoooooth sailing into Coupledom....
The song of the day, because it's been in my head, is All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard (yes, again)
I don’t know how to leave you
And I don’t know how to stay
I’ve got things that I must tell you
That I don’t know how to say
Damn, i really want that effing bracelet.
IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi
MY_MOM: whats up
MY_MOM: how are the cats and kraig?
ME: fine
MY_MOM: not much to say
ME: nope
MY_MOM: whats new
ME: Nothing. My car needs to be fixed...that's pretty much it.
MY_MOM: car repair, i hate that
ME: yup. the wheel alignment is off. Every time I go in, it costs me $2000 for something.
MY_MOM: wheel alignment shouldnt be that much?
ME: Yeah but soemthing always ends up being needed to be fixed.
MY_MOM: we are lucky, dad know's a pakistani car mechanic who repairs our cars at home and is much cheaper
MY_MOM: thats how we can afford keeping 2 old cars
MY_MOM: but our cars dont make that much trouble to be honest
ME: ok
MY_MOM: u have to be careful, often those car mechanics tell u something needs fixed and it doesnt
ME: ok
MY_MOM: i dont trust those car mechanics, can. tire is notorious
ME: yup
MY_MOM: so make sure u got one u can trust?
ME: ok
MY_MOM: can u trust your car mechanic?
ME: i think so
MY_MOM: same with kraigs car, its fairly new, he should go to the dealer and complain
MY_MOM: often if the warranty has run out, they might be able to fix it and put it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: happened to trudi's son. he bought the same car as kraig, engine problem or something and they somehow fixed it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: if u buy a new car, there's a complaint, go right to the boss
MY_MOM: i had to do that often with the toyota
ME: ok
MY_MOM: always go right to the top with anything, dont even bother with the manager
MY_MOM: i do that now all the time
MY_MOM: and it works
ME: ok
MY_MOM: like sales people and managers always try to talk u out of something
ME: ok
MY_MOM: since i worked in walmart, i know, complain right at the topME: ok
NOte: my mom worked at Woolco, which later got bought out by Walmart...in case anyone cares
MY_MOM: hehe ok
MY_MOM: c u later, dont work to hard
ME: ok
MY_MOM: whats up
MY_MOM: how are the cats and kraig?
ME: fine
MY_MOM: not much to say
ME: nope
MY_MOM: whats new
ME: Nothing. My car needs to be fixed...that's pretty much it.
MY_MOM: car repair, i hate that
ME: yup. the wheel alignment is off. Every time I go in, it costs me $2000 for something.
MY_MOM: wheel alignment shouldnt be that much?
ME: Yeah but soemthing always ends up being needed to be fixed.
MY_MOM: we are lucky, dad know's a pakistani car mechanic who repairs our cars at home and is much cheaper
MY_MOM: thats how we can afford keeping 2 old cars
MY_MOM: but our cars dont make that much trouble to be honest
ME: ok
MY_MOM: u have to be careful, often those car mechanics tell u something needs fixed and it doesnt
ME: ok
MY_MOM: i dont trust those car mechanics, can. tire is notorious
ME: yup
MY_MOM: so make sure u got one u can trust?
ME: ok
MY_MOM: can u trust your car mechanic?
ME: i think so
MY_MOM: same with kraigs car, its fairly new, he should go to the dealer and complain
MY_MOM: often if the warranty has run out, they might be able to fix it and put it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: happened to trudi's son. he bought the same car as kraig, engine problem or something and they somehow fixed it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: if u buy a new car, there's a complaint, go right to the boss
MY_MOM: i had to do that often with the toyota
ME: ok
MY_MOM: always go right to the top with anything, dont even bother with the manager
MY_MOM: i do that now all the time
MY_MOM: and it works
ME: ok
MY_MOM: like sales people and managers always try to talk u out of something
ME: ok
MY_MOM: since i worked in walmart, i know, complain right at the topME: ok
NOte: my mom worked at Woolco, which later got bought out by Walmart...in case anyone cares
MY_MOM: hehe ok
MY_MOM: c u later, dont work to hard
ME: ok
Monday, November 07, 2005
Ungruent Vessels
Give the girl a prize, she finally got off her ass and tweaked the image links so that the left menu isn't all jacked up.
My brain is too effed up for words today...serious exhaustion...i'm missing the KEY papers i need for my ring insurance, wtf i kept everything in this big bag thing and of course the appraisal, plus the signed ins. papers, are the two things i can't find. WTF. I'm flipping out.
I need to take this week to get re-organized, i'm the QUEEN of organization and I've just been a flippin' mess lately.
So that's my random thought and gripe. I'm griping about my effing BRAIN. Suck it.
The song for today is Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have ....
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
In other quick news...
Friday: dinner was fun, and uh good to know that little boys call stuff "those ball thingies" with swimmers and divers...poor Logan is worried it's going to hurt when those swimmers and divers come out!
Saturday: got up insanely early for that King Tut thing...i'll be honest with you, after like 10 minutes it was sensory overload...once you've seen one fancy egyption container used to hold a liver, you've seen them all! Plus I also realized that kids are way smarter than adults. Like take Nicole D's nephew, Jake...he was all "oh is that Isis?" and she's like "no, but good guess"...i would have either said "yeah...YEAH that's the ticket..." or "No, it's captain crunch!"...at least kids are like sponges when it comes to learning.
Went for lunch , went to the gym, got ready, went out with Nicole and John...there was this CRAZY LOUD wedding reception going on which was a crack up because the music was so horrible...i can't begin to explain how horrible...and it just got worse and worse...
Sunday: woke up at an ungodly hour to meet up with Carrie and volunteer...karma points badly needed. Unfortuantely being that sleep deprived doesn't help when you have to go to Walmart and Target, i have no idea what i bought but i'm sure i need to return whatever it is. Had some of the girls over later for good ol' DH...
Which brings us to some TV summaries...
My Fair Brady Okay i don't know WHY i'm so effing emotional, but when Chris proposed to her, i actually got all teary eyed...NO ONE should get teary eyed at that show! But it was beautiful, and you could tell she loved him SO MUCH and her heart was breaking when she thought he was breaking up with her...fabulous fabulous stuff. Good job VH1...fine holiday faire.
OC Stefanie, if you haven't watched it yet, skip this paragraph...i had recorded it but I didn't get to see it until last night...wtf like we didn't know Ryan would come back...but the previous for NEXT week look fantastic. Marissa is SUCH a whore...just pick a guy and stick with him, geezus.
Simpsons Holiday Special I had actually seen the beginning at Comic Con during the Simpsons panel, so iw as like "wtf didn't I see this? Ohhh yeahhh...."...nothing really to say except that i thought comic book guy's Nerds Do It Rarely tshirt was effing hilarious, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Well okay it was probably earlier that day when I caught a clip of Chris Rock on tv.
Desperate Housewives: will they start showing Gabby's pregnancy already?! As if her pseudo-hot lawyer would sweep her away when she's PREGNANT...that's the number one guy repellent. When i grow up, I want to be Lynette....and I love that creepy virgin pharmacy guy played emotional blackmail to Bree. As for Susan...my GOD that's an annoying character. They should knock her off and put Edie in her place.
And we've all agreed...if any of us throw our wedding bands in our husband's grave, we are SO jumping in after it!
Other random, random thoughts:
1. All i want for Festivus (aka Chrisma-Hana-Kwanzaa-Kah) is a new vacuum. I'm not kidding. I was excited because I bought a new ironing board yesterday. But a new vacuum...wow. I love my old one, it's a super fancy Kenmore that I got for cheap because they were out of the cheap models so they gave me the expensive one for the cheap price. But i think it's just showing it's age, and I want to splurge on a Dyson one (not because of the dude's fancy accent...but it got the best rating in Consumer's Reports, although it wasn't a Best Buy because of it's price).
2. If i don't go to the gym Today, Tomorrow, and Wednesday, I owe the first person who asks me the next morning $100.
3. Yes i know i need to do a spell check and typo fix on this blog entry...suck it.
4. I want poutine like a mothereffer. I'll settle for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Neither of which I can get here.
5. I need to find that jewelry insurance crap, my insurance is expiring soon
6. I really, really, REALLY want that bracelet. But people who want $600 vacuums don't get to beg for $2000 bracelets.
7. I don't have an item seven. I typed it in, and then sat here, and then just decided to wrap up this effing blog and i'm in a cranky mood and i need a NAP.
Edited to add: YESSSS found the jewelry insurance paperwork. SWEET. The day is getting better already. Now if only I could figure out how to sleep with my eyes open, I'd be set.
My brain is too effed up for words today...serious exhaustion...i'm missing the KEY papers i need for my ring insurance, wtf i kept everything in this big bag thing and of course the appraisal, plus the signed ins. papers, are the two things i can't find. WTF. I'm flipping out.
I need to take this week to get re-organized, i'm the QUEEN of organization and I've just been a flippin' mess lately.
So that's my random thought and gripe. I'm griping about my effing BRAIN. Suck it.
The song for today is Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have ....
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
In other quick news...
Friday: dinner was fun, and uh good to know that little boys call stuff "those ball thingies" with swimmers and divers...poor Logan is worried it's going to hurt when those swimmers and divers come out!
Saturday: got up insanely early for that King Tut thing...i'll be honest with you, after like 10 minutes it was sensory overload...once you've seen one fancy egyption container used to hold a liver, you've seen them all! Plus I also realized that kids are way smarter than adults. Like take Nicole D's nephew, Jake...he was all "oh is that Isis?" and she's like "no, but good guess"...i would have either said "yeah...YEAH that's the ticket..." or "No, it's captain crunch!"...at least kids are like sponges when it comes to learning.
Went for lunch , went to the gym, got ready, went out with Nicole and John...there was this CRAZY LOUD wedding reception going on which was a crack up because the music was so horrible...i can't begin to explain how horrible...and it just got worse and worse...
Sunday: woke up at an ungodly hour to meet up with Carrie and volunteer...karma points badly needed. Unfortuantely being that sleep deprived doesn't help when you have to go to Walmart and Target, i have no idea what i bought but i'm sure i need to return whatever it is. Had some of the girls over later for good ol' DH...
Which brings us to some TV summaries...
My Fair Brady Okay i don't know WHY i'm so effing emotional, but when Chris proposed to her, i actually got all teary eyed...NO ONE should get teary eyed at that show! But it was beautiful, and you could tell she loved him SO MUCH and her heart was breaking when she thought he was breaking up with her...fabulous fabulous stuff. Good job VH1...fine holiday faire.
OC Stefanie, if you haven't watched it yet, skip this paragraph...i had recorded it but I didn't get to see it until last night...wtf like we didn't know Ryan would come back...but the previous for NEXT week look fantastic. Marissa is SUCH a whore...just pick a guy and stick with him, geezus.
Simpsons Holiday Special I had actually seen the beginning at Comic Con during the Simpsons panel, so iw as like "wtf didn't I see this? Ohhh yeahhh...."...nothing really to say except that i thought comic book guy's Nerds Do It Rarely tshirt was effing hilarious, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Well okay it was probably earlier that day when I caught a clip of Chris Rock on tv.
Desperate Housewives: will they start showing Gabby's pregnancy already?! As if her pseudo-hot lawyer would sweep her away when she's PREGNANT...that's the number one guy repellent. When i grow up, I want to be Lynette....and I love that creepy virgin pharmacy guy played emotional blackmail to Bree. As for Susan...my GOD that's an annoying character. They should knock her off and put Edie in her place.
And we've all agreed...if any of us throw our wedding bands in our husband's grave, we are SO jumping in after it!
Other random, random thoughts:
1. All i want for Festivus (aka Chrisma-Hana-Kwanzaa-Kah) is a new vacuum. I'm not kidding. I was excited because I bought a new ironing board yesterday. But a new vacuum...wow. I love my old one, it's a super fancy Kenmore that I got for cheap because they were out of the cheap models so they gave me the expensive one for the cheap price. But i think it's just showing it's age, and I want to splurge on a Dyson one (not because of the dude's fancy accent...but it got the best rating in Consumer's Reports, although it wasn't a Best Buy because of it's price).
2. If i don't go to the gym Today, Tomorrow, and Wednesday, I owe the first person who asks me the next morning $100.
3. Yes i know i need to do a spell check and typo fix on this blog entry...suck it.
4. I want poutine like a mothereffer. I'll settle for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Neither of which I can get here.
5. I need to find that jewelry insurance crap, my insurance is expiring soon
6. I really, really, REALLY want that bracelet. But people who want $600 vacuums don't get to beg for $2000 bracelets.
7. I don't have an item seven. I typed it in, and then sat here, and then just decided to wrap up this effing blog and i'm in a cranky mood and i need a NAP.
Edited to add: YESSSS found the jewelry insurance paperwork. SWEET. The day is getting better already. Now if only I could figure out how to sleep with my eyes open, I'd be set.
Friday, November 04, 2005
I'll show you my blog if you show me yours
I heard a song last night that I wanted as the song of the day, and then I totally forgot what it was so...no song of the day. Suck it.
Since this is random throughts and gripes, i thought I'd spend today with some SERIOUS random thoughts and perhaps little griping.
Friday Five
1. What are you most self-conscious about?
Ugh, everything! My gut, my face, my ability to stutter when I'm even mildly nervous, my Canadian accent....
2. What's your favourite word?
Just a single word? Hmm...EDUMACATION. Expressions? SUCK IT...WTF...MOTHER EFFER....
3. What's your biggest fear?
Of not having enough money, of being homeless
4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?
When i started working in OC, our contractor told me that he knew an old coworker of mine...and that he got a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! He even had pics. That was pretty random. Especially since my old coworker's name was Dick (Richard)...
5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?
The anti-revolution society. I'm a creature of habit. Don't change stuff on me.
1. Do you have a dream you will always strive to achieve until your dying day?
Nope, i'm unambitious like that. Well, I'm dying to visit Italy...but that's not something you strive for, but that's something I think i'll always regret not doing.
2. Do you believe in fate or free will, or something else?
Can't you believe in both?
3. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?Tragic accident.
4. Favourite childhood sweets/candy?
Coffee Crisp...Mr. Big....Sweet Tarts....those candy ring things. Everything tart.
5. Favourite cocktail (alcoholic or virgin) and it's ingredients?
Virgin: shirley temple. Alcoholic....can't think of anything although i'm craving a Blue Lagoon (lemonade, blue curacao and no idea what else).
Some seriously random, random thoughts:
- I love my grey plaid Lion King boxer shorts. This is probably the number one cause for argument in my marriage. Kraig HATES those boxers. I bought them when Lion King was still in the theaters. They're sooo not attractive, but when I come home from work I RUN straight upstairs to throw them on...Why don't guys get it, that 99% of the time we're pinched and prodded and wearing uncomfy shoes and underwire and heavy dangly hoop earrings (WWJ.Lo.D!!), at the end of the day you want to peel off everything and go with the Lion King grey ugly boxers.
Mmm mmm good.
- I'm really disturbed that no one has invented teleportation yet. I'm blown away with some of the technology we DO have...Cell phones, cars who's radios get louder when you accelerate, Tamagotchi....you'd think someone would put down their PSP and invent something that I need so badly. I don't mind flying but I do hate the act of getting to the airport...I would even settle for just teleporting to the airport...is that too much to ask?!
- I can't get that gorgeous, gorgeous diamond bracelet out of my mind. It's so gorgeous. I mean, really, if I looked in the mirror and saw that as my reflection, i'd be happy.
- I love the look of the colored VAIOs. I have an allegiance with HP but I had a VAIO for one of my jobs and it was the most fabulous laptop, I was retarded for not having bought it from the company after they folded. I think i'd get the blue or the green one. I know, that makes me sound like a chick to want a laptop for it's color (hello colored iBook) but I've used that laptop before so I'm not a dumb computer illiterate chick (although i'm willing to admit i know jack about hardware, i know more about software sheeat) .
- this is one boring, boring blog.
- I can't get Jay Z out of my head.
- I finally have my Optometrist appointment today...my eyes are killing me. I've been wearing the same contacts for 3 weeks and my right eye has a lens that's prescribed for my left eye...My eyes are so effed up right now! And yes, I'll finally splurge on new glasses since I guess mine were a little crazy outdated (hmmmm I got them back in...1996? 1997?)
Note to self: for all the talk I do about Crazy Fun Girl (and WWJD!)...I'm gonna write a blog in the near future about Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl is what you get after CFG goes away...the one that leaves the guy going "what?! Who?! Where's that cool sexy chick I was dating?" but he's already hooked on you while you're secretly going through his wallet every chance you get to make sure there's no other chick's phone number in there.
Yeah. Psycho Girl. Life's a bitch when you're a guy.
Since this is random throughts and gripes, i thought I'd spend today with some SERIOUS random thoughts and perhaps little griping.
Friday Five
1. What are you most self-conscious about?
Ugh, everything! My gut, my face, my ability to stutter when I'm even mildly nervous, my Canadian accent....
2. What's your favourite word?
Just a single word? Hmm...EDUMACATION. Expressions? SUCK IT...WTF...MOTHER EFFER....
3. What's your biggest fear?
Of not having enough money, of being homeless
4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?
When i started working in OC, our contractor told me that he knew an old coworker of mine...and that he got a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! He even had pics. That was pretty random. Especially since my old coworker's name was Dick (Richard)...
5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?
The anti-revolution society. I'm a creature of habit. Don't change stuff on me.
1. Do you have a dream you will always strive to achieve until your dying day?
Nope, i'm unambitious like that. Well, I'm dying to visit Italy...but that's not something you strive for, but that's something I think i'll always regret not doing.
2. Do you believe in fate or free will, or something else?
Can't you believe in both?
3. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?Tragic accident.
4. Favourite childhood sweets/candy?
Coffee Crisp...Mr. Big....Sweet Tarts....those candy ring things. Everything tart.
5. Favourite cocktail (alcoholic or virgin) and it's ingredients?
Virgin: shirley temple. Alcoholic....can't think of anything although i'm craving a Blue Lagoon (lemonade, blue curacao and no idea what else).
Some seriously random, random thoughts:
- I love my grey plaid Lion King boxer shorts. This is probably the number one cause for argument in my marriage. Kraig HATES those boxers. I bought them when Lion King was still in the theaters. They're sooo not attractive, but when I come home from work I RUN straight upstairs to throw them on...Why don't guys get it, that 99% of the time we're pinched and prodded and wearing uncomfy shoes and underwire and heavy dangly hoop earrings (WWJ.Lo.D!!), at the end of the day you want to peel off everything and go with the Lion King grey ugly boxers.
Mmm mmm good.
- I'm really disturbed that no one has invented teleportation yet. I'm blown away with some of the technology we DO have...Cell phones, cars who's radios get louder when you accelerate, Tamagotchi....you'd think someone would put down their PSP and invent something that I need so badly. I don't mind flying but I do hate the act of getting to the airport...I would even settle for just teleporting to the airport...is that too much to ask?!
- I can't get that gorgeous, gorgeous diamond bracelet out of my mind. It's so gorgeous. I mean, really, if I looked in the mirror and saw that as my reflection, i'd be happy.
- I love the look of the colored VAIOs. I have an allegiance with HP but I had a VAIO for one of my jobs and it was the most fabulous laptop, I was retarded for not having bought it from the company after they folded. I think i'd get the blue or the green one. I know, that makes me sound like a chick to want a laptop for it's color (hello colored iBook) but I've used that laptop before so I'm not a dumb computer illiterate chick (although i'm willing to admit i know jack about hardware, i know more about software sheeat) .
- this is one boring, boring blog.
- I can't get Jay Z out of my head.
- I finally have my Optometrist appointment today...my eyes are killing me. I've been wearing the same contacts for 3 weeks and my right eye has a lens that's prescribed for my left eye...My eyes are so effed up right now! And yes, I'll finally splurge on new glasses since I guess mine were a little crazy outdated (hmmmm I got them back in...1996? 1997?)
Note to self: for all the talk I do about Crazy Fun Girl (and WWJD!)...I'm gonna write a blog in the near future about Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl is what you get after CFG goes away...the one that leaves the guy going "what?! Who?! Where's that cool sexy chick I was dating?" but he's already hooked on you while you're secretly going through his wallet every chance you get to make sure there's no other chick's phone number in there.
Yeah. Psycho Girl. Life's a bitch when you're a guy.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Black, diamonds, and elegance
Random, random thoughts....
I love this tshirt, but i would only get it if i knew the small was well-fitted (otherwise i look all weird in guyish shirts):
And of course:
HA i wish I could give an old coworker this shirt:
He was journalism major but soemhow went straight from that to being the senior Tech Writer (Tony, you know who i'm talking about!), he didn't know ANYTHING about computers...and he had this thing that he was going to MEMERIZE binary numbers.
I was like "dude, there's a system, blah blah" like showing him how you calculate it by hand for a big number, but he really just wanted to memerize like 0 to 100 in binary notation which is so retarded, there's only 2 characters, if you need it for a user guide or something (which he didn't) then just convert the number as it comes up...
Whatever.
I didn't watch America's Next Top Model last night, I didn't watch Lost (I have no idea if they're still in reruns)...
So now, onto the actual subjects at hand: Black, Diamonds, and Elegance.
I never understood why people can say "black" is their favorite color. It's like, white is no color and black is ALL the colors...those aren't even options as far as i'm concerned (it's not like it's on the color spectrum thingy....)..
That being said, i think I officially think black is my new favorite color.
It used to be blood red...then purple (it's the color of royalty!), and then i realized in my later 20s that I look good in baby blue and baby pink (well...not good...just not as bad as normal)...but now, black is where's it baby.
The thing with black is that you can't really wear it when you're a baby of course...and then as a teen if you wear all black you look super goth, not just for the color but also because if your mom was like mine she got fed up of your laundry piling up and she'd do it for you which meant hot water to everything with crappy detergent (I used to hand wash my stuff in Woolite) and then it would get nasty faded to grey....
So at least now I can pull off black and appreciate that it's an all-over body slimmer....and you can dress like CRAP but if it's black, people think you're dressing up.
/black stuff.
As for diamonds....
I went to the jeweler (Petra's in the Kaleidoscope in case anyone cares) a few times this week because I had to get my ring appraisal re-done in order for my insurance renewal. I went in with my GIA paperwork (my diamond is laser-inscribed with a VIN-like number, so my diamond can be traced anywhere) and the old appraisal.
The dude spent an HOUR looking for the GIA inscription.
He used THREE different tools.
I was in hysterics. I mean, the lump in my throat was insane. I didn't know what to do...what if they put the wrong diamond in? Do i sue the old jewelry store that Kraig bought the ring from? Is there a statue of limitations? Would they think I secretly changed the stones?
I felt like the past 2.5 years of my marriage was a sham, like imagine if you found out that your marriage license was invalid and you were really not married...you'd feel like were so deceived. And here I thought I knew my diamond so well.
Anyway eventually he found the final digit, the other numbers were hidden under a prong. When i went yesterday to drop off my "real" engagement ring (Kraig proposed to me with his mother's ring but i never wear it because I never insured it) for appraisal, I was delighted to find out that my stone has gone up in value, which brings the overall value up by $900...that at least compensated for the stress I felt the day before!
My point is not about my rings...and the emotional drama...but that the whole time I had been waiting, I kept eyeing this bracelet.
It's gorgeous.
It's price tag said $4000.
It's gorgeous.
People like me don't get nice things like that...not AS nice as that.
The jeweler then tells me it's $2000.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to sell a kidney to buy that bracelet. I could CRY, i want that bracelet so bad. But i just can't justify it, heck we need a grownup bedroom set, we need to redo the master bathroom, i need to get a ton of work done on my car....
But it's beautiful. Taken with my cameraphone (and yes, i know i look like i've got man-wrists in this picture, bite me):
Sigh. Well at least i'll always have my $15 Aldo faux diamond ring.
/diamond rant
Elegance...
That's my new year's resolution.
I want to be a grownup
I want to be elegant
And i want to be refined.
Okay well refined is pushing it, but elegant. I want to stop walking into rooms and tripping over myself.
I want to stop dropping things.
I want to stop fidgeting when i'm nervous (how many pieces of paper can someone shred at dinner?)
I want to stop looking like a little kid in a room full of adults.
SOOOO...that's my resolution.
Refinery.
Much like sugar.
/elegance rant
The song for the day is I remember you by Skid Row
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
(It was on the radio last night, i LOVE Skid Row! ANd yeah, if that makes me white trash...suck it).
In other news, I'm disgruntled, so I better just shut up before I get myself in trouble.
I love this tshirt, but i would only get it if i knew the small was well-fitted (otherwise i look all weird in guyish shirts):
And of course:
HA i wish I could give an old coworker this shirt:
He was journalism major but soemhow went straight from that to being the senior Tech Writer (Tony, you know who i'm talking about!), he didn't know ANYTHING about computers...and he had this thing that he was going to MEMERIZE binary numbers.
I was like "dude, there's a system, blah blah" like showing him how you calculate it by hand for a big number, but he really just wanted to memerize like 0 to 100 in binary notation which is so retarded, there's only 2 characters, if you need it for a user guide or something (which he didn't) then just convert the number as it comes up...
Whatever.
I didn't watch America's Next Top Model last night, I didn't watch Lost (I have no idea if they're still in reruns)...
So now, onto the actual subjects at hand: Black, Diamonds, and Elegance.
I never understood why people can say "black" is their favorite color. It's like, white is no color and black is ALL the colors...those aren't even options as far as i'm concerned (it's not like it's on the color spectrum thingy....)..
That being said, i think I officially think black is my new favorite color.
It used to be blood red...then purple (it's the color of royalty!), and then i realized in my later 20s that I look good in baby blue and baby pink (well...not good...just not as bad as normal)...but now, black is where's it baby.
The thing with black is that you can't really wear it when you're a baby of course...and then as a teen if you wear all black you look super goth, not just for the color but also because if your mom was like mine she got fed up of your laundry piling up and she'd do it for you which meant hot water to everything with crappy detergent (I used to hand wash my stuff in Woolite) and then it would get nasty faded to grey....
So at least now I can pull off black and appreciate that it's an all-over body slimmer....and you can dress like CRAP but if it's black, people think you're dressing up.
/black stuff.
As for diamonds....
I went to the jeweler (Petra's in the Kaleidoscope in case anyone cares) a few times this week because I had to get my ring appraisal re-done in order for my insurance renewal. I went in with my GIA paperwork (my diamond is laser-inscribed with a VIN-like number, so my diamond can be traced anywhere) and the old appraisal.
The dude spent an HOUR looking for the GIA inscription.
He used THREE different tools.
I was in hysterics. I mean, the lump in my throat was insane. I didn't know what to do...what if they put the wrong diamond in? Do i sue the old jewelry store that Kraig bought the ring from? Is there a statue of limitations? Would they think I secretly changed the stones?
I felt like the past 2.5 years of my marriage was a sham, like imagine if you found out that your marriage license was invalid and you were really not married...you'd feel like were so deceived. And here I thought I knew my diamond so well.
Anyway eventually he found the final digit, the other numbers were hidden under a prong. When i went yesterday to drop off my "real" engagement ring (Kraig proposed to me with his mother's ring but i never wear it because I never insured it) for appraisal, I was delighted to find out that my stone has gone up in value, which brings the overall value up by $900...that at least compensated for the stress I felt the day before!
My point is not about my rings...and the emotional drama...but that the whole time I had been waiting, I kept eyeing this bracelet.
It's gorgeous.
It's price tag said $4000.
It's gorgeous.
People like me don't get nice things like that...not AS nice as that.
The jeweler then tells me it's $2000.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to sell a kidney to buy that bracelet. I could CRY, i want that bracelet so bad. But i just can't justify it, heck we need a grownup bedroom set, we need to redo the master bathroom, i need to get a ton of work done on my car....
But it's beautiful. Taken with my cameraphone (and yes, i know i look like i've got man-wrists in this picture, bite me):
Sigh. Well at least i'll always have my $15 Aldo faux diamond ring.
/diamond rant
Elegance...
That's my new year's resolution.
I want to be a grownup
I want to be elegant
And i want to be refined.
Okay well refined is pushing it, but elegant. I want to stop walking into rooms and tripping over myself.
I want to stop dropping things.
I want to stop fidgeting when i'm nervous (how many pieces of paper can someone shred at dinner?)
I want to stop looking like a little kid in a room full of adults.
SOOOO...that's my resolution.
Refinery.
Much like sugar.
/elegance rant
The song for the day is I remember you by Skid Row
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
(It was on the radio last night, i LOVE Skid Row! ANd yeah, if that makes me white trash...suck it).
In other news, I'm disgruntled, so I better just shut up before I get myself in trouble.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Anticipation is killing me
If you figure this day is over
14 days till...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The new Madonna album...
There's only so often I can listen to it off her website (at least it's better quality than all the video downloads i've got)...
I fully intend on being a big loser the night i get it by popping it in my CD player and dancing around my house by myself...well and the cats...
OMG this song is so effing fabulous, it's been AGES since I heard a song this fantabulous.
It's mind blowingly good.
If the rest of the album blows, i'm going to write a letter to my congressman in protest.
14 days till...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The new Madonna album...
There's only so often I can listen to it off her website (at least it's better quality than all the video downloads i've got)...
I fully intend on being a big loser the night i get it by popping it in my CD player and dancing around my house by myself...well and the cats...
OMG this song is so effing fabulous, it's been AGES since I heard a song this fantabulous.
It's mind blowingly good.
If the rest of the album blows, i'm going to write a letter to my congressman in protest.
Le blog indeed
The New Rules from Bill Maher that I absolutely agree with:
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar.What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.I swear, this is the one thing that pisses me off. I don't go to Starbucks, but in general...especially when people have like 10 kids with them and they get all "okay honey...so...what do you want"...geezus let them pick in advance, and if they're indecisive then do what my parents did: you'll eat it and you'll like it
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place I kid you not, this one kills me. it's SO TRUE on so many effing levels. Half the times i'm like "uh...so...a year and a half?" when they give me the age...for eff's sakes i don't care enough about your kid to know down to the wire!
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar.What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.I swear, this is the one thing that pisses me off. I don't go to Starbucks, but in general...especially when people have like 10 kids with them and they get all "okay honey...so...what do you want"...geezus let them pick in advance, and if they're indecisive then do what my parents did: you'll eat it and you'll like it
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place I kid you not, this one kills me. it's SO TRUE on so many effing levels. Half the times i'm like "uh...so...a year and a half?" when they give me the age...for eff's sakes i don't care enough about your kid to know down to the wire!
The weekend....
So, the weekend...
Side note: why do guys argue with me about fabric and animals used to make clothing?!? I used to have to memerize fabric crap in a previous lifetime...YES that Alpacaa was skinned in order to make that rug they did not sheer it because tehre's nothing for those clumps to stick to....wtf.
So Sat night we got hooched up (yeah I didn't get dressed up in a costume. I'm officially DONE with Vegas, which is another rant i'll bitch about after this, but i got dolled up and said my costume was Sabina Circa Age 21), walked over to Ballys where Tony and all them were...
My pics from Shutterfly (for some reason the ordering and captions aren't showing up so suck it)
Link to Tony's pics, he's frickin' hilarious
Went for dinner with some of the crew (Me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Leeway, Ryan, Alex, Jen, and their friends Sri and his wife)....after that we went back up to their room for them to get dressed, Ryan and his crew bailed on going to the strip club with us so it was me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Alex, Jen, Joel, Heidi, and their friends Mike and Christine.
Got a free limo ride there, but the funniest part was Tony rolling down his window and yelling out...i knwo personally when I see a limo I expect to see someone kinda dressed up inside...everyone in the other cars were DYING laughing....because Tony was dressed as the Swedish Chef (muppets) and would yell out "BORK BORKY BORK BORK!"...i think one cab driver almost drove off the road laughing so hard.
We get there and got a booth (which required $300 to buy loads of liquor), and i'm dying because the angle I was at, I was pretty much right next to whoever was one booth over, which was 99% of the time an old creepy guy with some chick who looked so doped up (or bored, same diff)...i was DYING laughing....I mean, this one chick was killing me because she had the same stupid routine, and i'll be honest with you...
a) these chicks did NOT have good bodies
b) they gave HORRIBLE lap dances.
I mean, REALLY bad. I've given better lap dances, and yeah I know they do this stuff all the time but dang $20 for a stupid song, trust me I'll earn that penny....
Anyway so we're dying becuase most of the chicks were so nasty, like one chick looked WAY too much like Jim Carrey on In LIving Color when he played that bodybuilder ugly chick....
Tony kept saying it would make his night if I got a lap dance, so he paid for me to get one...I randomly picked this crazy lady...i mean, CRAZY. She looked at him and was all "You're a chef, and I've got cupcakes!" (grabbing her boobs), which i think became the tag line for the night.
As for the lap dance...
It was the most horrible thing EVER.
Apparently everyone ELSE thought it was effing hilarious, but I honestly was almost in hysterics CRYING it was so horrific!
First off, I wasn't really paying attention, so I turn around all of a sudden it's like "whoa! There's boobs in my face!" and then she smushes them against my face and I could see Kraig and Tony ot of the corner of my eye laughing their asses off...
Let me tell you a little something...boobs are NOT pleasant. At all. I"ve never had one pressed against my face and I have no desire to ever again. The texture was NASTY, like an old nerf ball or something. I"m going to puke just thinking about it.
Then she starts rubbing my arms and keeps telling me how good I smelled (I was wearing Estee Lauder Intuition for Men...omg i love that stuff), which doesn't say much since 99% of the guys there clearly needed a shower. She kept saying it over and OVER...like dang, okay i get it, i smell good, which is fortunate because I think even now the smell of cigarette smoke is STILL in my hair.
So i'm still sitting there mortified and everyone's laughing and then she grabs my face and tells me i'm adorable and how innocent I am, and how I"d make bank in the VIP room.
I don't care if someone tells me i can make bank by drinking vomit, if it involves money i'm all ears
Typical me, I'm all "oh really? What's the VIP room? What the deal?" and she said I guess that because I'm so innocent (hey i'll take that, compared to a stripper in vegas? Effing right i'm innocent), that I could make $600 an hour in the VIP room. I'm like "dayam....."....
So the song is almost over, she flips herself around and grinds her ass in my crotch (sorry for the visuals but at this point I practically needed kleenex for my crying), and then that was it...The sad part was that I wasn't even buzzed yet at that point...no sober chick should ever have to endure crazy naked lady ever! Friends don't let friends do that!
Since it was Tony's birthday, we kept trying to get him a lap dance so he agreed that if ANYONE could guess who he was, he'd get a lap dance from her. Um yeah...these girls couldn't even guess he was a CHEF. I mean, we heard some seriously bizarre guesses. Eventually the one hot chick in the place guessed "chef boyardee" which was close enough...
After that Tony got a lap dance from the ONE hot chick, I kind of wish I had had her 'cause she really was pretty and probably wouldn't have made me feel like she was going to EAT me or something. This chick was CRAZY. Short blond hair, she kept JUMPING on him, at one point his chair slid all the way back. Kraig was like "she's f*cking earning her money!" (i think his eyes almost popped out of his head)...thing is, it was the funniest thing ever because Tony was wearing his Swedish Chef outfit and he kept touching his face to make sure his eyebrows weren't falling off and his expression was nothing short of "EEEEEEEEK!!!!"...
Insert some more drinking (I didn't get drunk, just buzzed, att his point Kraig had like ONE drink...)..so i turn to the girls and tell them that after having boob in my face we needed to scope out the guys.
Now for Norm who i'm guessing (and hoping) has never been upstairs at OG, the layout is way different...it's nto like you've got mulitiple stages, it's just one big catwalk-type stage and the booths for lapdances all around. THere's a REASON it's a big stage...those boys work hard.
I mean, REAL hard.
In case you're wondering (I was...i've never been to a men's strip club before), then men strip down to this little thing that's a cross between a sock on their shlong and a g-string. You can tell which ones stuffed them and which ones didn't.
I seriously can't stress enough how hard these boys work. The ceiling is a bit lower, so they could do crazy handstands on chairs and have their feet touch the ceiling...
There weren't that many chicks there at that point, and seriously our little group (me, rena, Heidi, Jen, and Christine) were probably the best looking ones there...i felt bad for those guys. I really did.
One dude got "naked" but he was wearing kneepads, and I'm like "wtf lazy bastard needs kneepads?"....oh there was method to his madness...he basically slid around the floor, on his knees, pretty much humping hte floor...i don't know how he did what he did, but all us chicks pretty much had our jaws to the floor...like...wow...
I didn't plan on handing out ones...but somehow between me and Heidi, I think we went broke.
Rena got a lapdance (thanks to Jen), and it was in her chair RIGHT next to me so i would look on stage and scream in shock, or turn my head and look at Rena and scream in shock....they are a THOUSAND times more touchy feely in the men's section than the chick section, like massive gropage going on...
So one dude came over (he was this insanely hot black guy), and right off the bat I was like "i'm out of cash" and he kept saying "it's okay, i'll do it for free" and i was like "no, really, I saw the tv shows you guys need to make cash constantly or move on!" and he kept telling me to shut up...so he took me to a booth and i got my "naked" guy lap dance (which also had me screaming in shock), the guy was uh a little too touchy feely (considering i didn't know his NAME) but it was so frickin' funny....there was a bit more, but since I do have a husband who probably wouldn't want me going into too much detail, i'll leave it at that...
I get back to the girls, and we're still all chillin'...this one dude had your typical blond Chippendales look (like long hair, etc)...he was SO nasty...when will guys learn that chicks for the most part like 'em clean cut, shaved, all that stuff?
Eventually we go back down...and during that time we were gone, my husband had spent a small fortune on lap dances for everyone and he was DRUNK. I mean, PLASTERED. The last time he was that plastered was on our wedding night. I was like "wtf I leave you alone for a few minutes and this is what happens?"...apparently his lap dance was with "wonder woman", whatever that means...i was so bummed though 'cause there was this one chick with freakishly large boobs (i mean, larger than a basketball each) and Alex got her, i would have DIED to see that...
Yadda yadda, by the end of the night we get up to go, and Rena's carrying poor Kraig out...we took a separate cab since we were at a different hotel, after the incident with my coworker on our GNO puking in the cab I was terrified that Kraig would...fortunately, it was all good...
Anwyay to wrap up this long LONG blog, he spent the rest of the night hurling up for hours (on the floor, on the counter, and sometimes in the toilet even) so i'm still massively backlogged on sleep from that night.
And i still stand by my claim that most chicks can do (and have) better lap dances and stripteases than those girls...and that boobs on one's face feel effing NASTY.
Side note: why do guys argue with me about fabric and animals used to make clothing?!? I used to have to memerize fabric crap in a previous lifetime...YES that Alpacaa was skinned in order to make that rug they did not sheer it because tehre's nothing for those clumps to stick to....wtf.
So Sat night we got hooched up (yeah I didn't get dressed up in a costume. I'm officially DONE with Vegas, which is another rant i'll bitch about after this, but i got dolled up and said my costume was Sabina Circa Age 21), walked over to Ballys where Tony and all them were...
My pics from Shutterfly (for some reason the ordering and captions aren't showing up so suck it)
Link to Tony's pics, he's frickin' hilarious
Went for dinner with some of the crew (Me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Leeway, Ryan, Alex, Jen, and their friends Sri and his wife)....after that we went back up to their room for them to get dressed, Ryan and his crew bailed on going to the strip club with us so it was me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Alex, Jen, Joel, Heidi, and their friends Mike and Christine.
Got a free limo ride there, but the funniest part was Tony rolling down his window and yelling out...i knwo personally when I see a limo I expect to see someone kinda dressed up inside...everyone in the other cars were DYING laughing....because Tony was dressed as the Swedish Chef (muppets) and would yell out "BORK BORKY BORK BORK!"...i think one cab driver almost drove off the road laughing so hard.
We get there and got a booth (which required $300 to buy loads of liquor), and i'm dying because the angle I was at, I was pretty much right next to whoever was one booth over, which was 99% of the time an old creepy guy with some chick who looked so doped up (or bored, same diff)...i was DYING laughing....I mean, this one chick was killing me because she had the same stupid routine, and i'll be honest with you...
a) these chicks did NOT have good bodies
b) they gave HORRIBLE lap dances.
I mean, REALLY bad. I've given better lap dances, and yeah I know they do this stuff all the time but dang $20 for a stupid song, trust me I'll earn that penny....
Anyway so we're dying becuase most of the chicks were so nasty, like one chick looked WAY too much like Jim Carrey on In LIving Color when he played that bodybuilder ugly chick....
Tony kept saying it would make his night if I got a lap dance, so he paid for me to get one...I randomly picked this crazy lady...i mean, CRAZY. She looked at him and was all "You're a chef, and I've got cupcakes!" (grabbing her boobs), which i think became the tag line for the night.
As for the lap dance...
It was the most horrible thing EVER.
Apparently everyone ELSE thought it was effing hilarious, but I honestly was almost in hysterics CRYING it was so horrific!
First off, I wasn't really paying attention, so I turn around all of a sudden it's like "whoa! There's boobs in my face!" and then she smushes them against my face and I could see Kraig and Tony ot of the corner of my eye laughing their asses off...
Let me tell you a little something...boobs are NOT pleasant. At all. I"ve never had one pressed against my face and I have no desire to ever again. The texture was NASTY, like an old nerf ball or something. I"m going to puke just thinking about it.
Then she starts rubbing my arms and keeps telling me how good I smelled (I was wearing Estee Lauder Intuition for Men...omg i love that stuff), which doesn't say much since 99% of the guys there clearly needed a shower. She kept saying it over and OVER...like dang, okay i get it, i smell good, which is fortunate because I think even now the smell of cigarette smoke is STILL in my hair.
So i'm still sitting there mortified and everyone's laughing and then she grabs my face and tells me i'm adorable and how innocent I am, and how I"d make bank in the VIP room.
I don't care if someone tells me i can make bank by drinking vomit, if it involves money i'm all ears
Typical me, I'm all "oh really? What's the VIP room? What the deal?" and she said I guess that because I'm so innocent (hey i'll take that, compared to a stripper in vegas? Effing right i'm innocent), that I could make $600 an hour in the VIP room. I'm like "dayam....."....
So the song is almost over, she flips herself around and grinds her ass in my crotch (sorry for the visuals but at this point I practically needed kleenex for my crying), and then that was it...The sad part was that I wasn't even buzzed yet at that point...no sober chick should ever have to endure crazy naked lady ever! Friends don't let friends do that!
Since it was Tony's birthday, we kept trying to get him a lap dance so he agreed that if ANYONE could guess who he was, he'd get a lap dance from her. Um yeah...these girls couldn't even guess he was a CHEF. I mean, we heard some seriously bizarre guesses. Eventually the one hot chick in the place guessed "chef boyardee" which was close enough...
After that Tony got a lap dance from the ONE hot chick, I kind of wish I had had her 'cause she really was pretty and probably wouldn't have made me feel like she was going to EAT me or something. This chick was CRAZY. Short blond hair, she kept JUMPING on him, at one point his chair slid all the way back. Kraig was like "she's f*cking earning her money!" (i think his eyes almost popped out of his head)...thing is, it was the funniest thing ever because Tony was wearing his Swedish Chef outfit and he kept touching his face to make sure his eyebrows weren't falling off and his expression was nothing short of "EEEEEEEEK!!!!"...
Insert some more drinking (I didn't get drunk, just buzzed, att his point Kraig had like ONE drink...)..so i turn to the girls and tell them that after having boob in my face we needed to scope out the guys.
Now for Norm who i'm guessing (and hoping) has never been upstairs at OG, the layout is way different...it's nto like you've got mulitiple stages, it's just one big catwalk-type stage and the booths for lapdances all around. THere's a REASON it's a big stage...those boys work hard.
I mean, REAL hard.
In case you're wondering (I was...i've never been to a men's strip club before), then men strip down to this little thing that's a cross between a sock on their shlong and a g-string. You can tell which ones stuffed them and which ones didn't.
I seriously can't stress enough how hard these boys work. The ceiling is a bit lower, so they could do crazy handstands on chairs and have their feet touch the ceiling...
There weren't that many chicks there at that point, and seriously our little group (me, rena, Heidi, Jen, and Christine) were probably the best looking ones there...i felt bad for those guys. I really did.
One dude got "naked" but he was wearing kneepads, and I'm like "wtf lazy bastard needs kneepads?"....oh there was method to his madness...he basically slid around the floor, on his knees, pretty much humping hte floor...i don't know how he did what he did, but all us chicks pretty much had our jaws to the floor...like...wow...
I didn't plan on handing out ones...but somehow between me and Heidi, I think we went broke.
Rena got a lapdance (thanks to Jen), and it was in her chair RIGHT next to me so i would look on stage and scream in shock, or turn my head and look at Rena and scream in shock....they are a THOUSAND times more touchy feely in the men's section than the chick section, like massive gropage going on...
So one dude came over (he was this insanely hot black guy), and right off the bat I was like "i'm out of cash" and he kept saying "it's okay, i'll do it for free" and i was like "no, really, I saw the tv shows you guys need to make cash constantly or move on!" and he kept telling me to shut up...so he took me to a booth and i got my "naked" guy lap dance (which also had me screaming in shock), the guy was uh a little too touchy feely (considering i didn't know his NAME) but it was so frickin' funny....there was a bit more, but since I do have a husband who probably wouldn't want me going into too much detail, i'll leave it at that...
I get back to the girls, and we're still all chillin'...this one dude had your typical blond Chippendales look (like long hair, etc)...he was SO nasty...when will guys learn that chicks for the most part like 'em clean cut, shaved, all that stuff?
Eventually we go back down...and during that time we were gone, my husband had spent a small fortune on lap dances for everyone and he was DRUNK. I mean, PLASTERED. The last time he was that plastered was on our wedding night. I was like "wtf I leave you alone for a few minutes and this is what happens?"...apparently his lap dance was with "wonder woman", whatever that means...i was so bummed though 'cause there was this one chick with freakishly large boobs (i mean, larger than a basketball each) and Alex got her, i would have DIED to see that...
Yadda yadda, by the end of the night we get up to go, and Rena's carrying poor Kraig out...we took a separate cab since we were at a different hotel, after the incident with my coworker on our GNO puking in the cab I was terrified that Kraig would...fortunately, it was all good...
Anwyay to wrap up this long LONG blog, he spent the rest of the night hurling up for hours (on the floor, on the counter, and sometimes in the toilet even) so i'm still massively backlogged on sleep from that night.
And i still stand by my claim that most chicks can do (and have) better lap dances and stripteases than those girls...and that boobs on one's face feel effing NASTY.
It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to
I know, i know, i'm still working on the Vegas blog. I'm annoyed because I captioned/reordered the pics on Shutterfly, but when everyone else logs in it just has whatever filenames.
Just a quick note: I love Hallowe'en. We didn't have THAT many kids come to our door but it was awesome either way, and I seriously wish I could give out candy every night. I probably would have spent more time ooohing and ahhhhing over everyone's costumes but Marmalade peed on the couch (first time in like 3 years...i.e. first time since I paid $100 per cushion to dry clean them!) and I was busy getting my Green Machine action on trying to clean them.
The song of the day is Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston (American Psycho was on the tv this weekend and that song plays at one critical moment)
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
I annoyed the crap out of my coworkers yesterday by singing it ALL day....
Laguna Beach: really. Seriously. Sure money can't buy happiness. But if i'm not happy anyway, then it certainly can't hurt right? And money can't buy happiness, but it can upgrade my master bathroom which is officially beyond ghetto and stained and biodegrading, which would make me less UNHAPPY each mornng when I get ready for work. See how that goes?
Anyway back to LB....
What did we learn?
We learned that Crazy Fun Girl WORKS. I swear Jessica is exactly how I was. And you know what? There's no better revenge than being Crazy Fun Girl when your ex is dating someone else. Hats off to you Jessica. Even better, I totally approve of you lying when you were put on speakerphone. Tell those bastards they can find out when it airs on MTV.
On another note, reading Esquire last night at the gym, another article about how the Army's PR totally changes stories around as opposed to what the soldiers actually there have to say...I wanted to pull an "I told you so" moment, but whatever...what do I know, i'm ignorant as to the american ways and oh gee, why would the Army have PR anyway.....
Alright, back to the Vegas blog.
Just a quick note: I love Hallowe'en. We didn't have THAT many kids come to our door but it was awesome either way, and I seriously wish I could give out candy every night. I probably would have spent more time ooohing and ahhhhing over everyone's costumes but Marmalade peed on the couch (first time in like 3 years...i.e. first time since I paid $100 per cushion to dry clean them!) and I was busy getting my Green Machine action on trying to clean them.
The song of the day is Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston (American Psycho was on the tv this weekend and that song plays at one critical moment)
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
I annoyed the crap out of my coworkers yesterday by singing it ALL day....
Laguna Beach: really. Seriously. Sure money can't buy happiness. But if i'm not happy anyway, then it certainly can't hurt right? And money can't buy happiness, but it can upgrade my master bathroom which is officially beyond ghetto and stained and biodegrading, which would make me less UNHAPPY each mornng when I get ready for work. See how that goes?
Anyway back to LB....
What did we learn?
We learned that Crazy Fun Girl WORKS. I swear Jessica is exactly how I was. And you know what? There's no better revenge than being Crazy Fun Girl when your ex is dating someone else. Hats off to you Jessica. Even better, I totally approve of you lying when you were put on speakerphone. Tell those bastards they can find out when it airs on MTV.
On another note, reading Esquire last night at the gym, another article about how the Army's PR totally changes stories around as opposed to what the soldiers actually there have to say...I wanted to pull an "I told you so" moment, but whatever...what do I know, i'm ignorant as to the american ways and oh gee, why would the Army have PR anyway.....
Alright, back to the Vegas blog.
Monday, October 31, 2005
HA! and HA! some more...
still working on the Vegas blog...
but i just want to say...
HA HA and HA i was right...oh noooooo of course governments don't lie about war stuff for whatever internal reasons, oh no everything we find out is always the truth:
Vietnam War
Yeah of course the numbers we see are the true numbers, they're not over/underinflated at times of war...
what
the
f*ck
I swear sometimes living in this country makes me want to put a bullet to my head, 'cause some people have zero openmindedness (not a word, i know, bite me)... FYI people...every country is going to over and underflate all the facts, no one knows the ACTUAL truth because everything will always be skewed to serve whatever interest. I don't CARE whether people say how much research was done...governments cover stuff up.
Anyway it doesn't matter, because i know the people who read this blog aren't the ones in question, but I just get super frustrated and I'm sick of sometimes feeling like i need to have a redneck hillbilly mentality in order to survive here.
but i just want to say...
HA HA and HA i was right...oh noooooo of course governments don't lie about war stuff for whatever internal reasons, oh no everything we find out is always the truth:
Vietnam War
Yeah of course the numbers we see are the true numbers, they're not over/underinflated at times of war...
what
the
f*ck
I swear sometimes living in this country makes me want to put a bullet to my head, 'cause some people have zero openmindedness (not a word, i know, bite me)... FYI people...every country is going to over and underflate all the facts, no one knows the ACTUAL truth because everything will always be skewed to serve whatever interest. I don't CARE whether people say how much research was done...governments cover stuff up.
Anyway it doesn't matter, because i know the people who read this blog aren't the ones in question, but I just get super frustrated and I'm sick of sometimes feeling like i need to have a redneck hillbilly mentality in order to survive here.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Whitney Houston is in my head....
Ugh when I was getting ready Sat night at the hotel the only thing on TV was American Psycho, and there's the scene where he's discussing the merits of Whitney Houston's work...and one song was playing and UGH UGH I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since. Mother effer.
I was all psyched to unpack, do boatloads of laundry/ironing, and then right after I just popped a load in the wash Marmalade jumped on the bed and proceeded to pee on my comforter cover, my fuzzy blue blanket, the fitted sheet, the flat sheet, and the mattress protector. Which normally isn't AS much the end of the world when I can shove that crap in the wash, but I had JUST put in a load already.
So now i'm all "pff, whatever" about unpacking and caring about being ahead so as usual I'm backlogged on all the crazy cleaning and laundry and lord knows what else needs to be done to function as a grownup.
Will write about Vegas tomorrow...all I know is that I left Kraig for a few moments after I got my lap dance (after all that boob in my face, I felt like I needed to see some naked men...and...dang...those boys EARN their keep! And hands down, the dude with the knee pads pretty much had every chick in the place breathing a little too heavy....even for a strip club!) and I came back down, he was plastered, everyone had bought each other lap dances, and somehow my wallet has ALOT less cash than was in there before.
I probably wouldn't be so tired if I didn't stay up ALL night with Kraig who was puking nonstop...It got to the point where I was terrified that he had DIED on me, and then I'd hear him heaving and I'd think "oh thank God, he's still puking, he's still alive...."...along with "if that mother effer dies before we finalize on the legal paperwork, i'll kill him"....
I was all psyched to unpack, do boatloads of laundry/ironing, and then right after I just popped a load in the wash Marmalade jumped on the bed and proceeded to pee on my comforter cover, my fuzzy blue blanket, the fitted sheet, the flat sheet, and the mattress protector. Which normally isn't AS much the end of the world when I can shove that crap in the wash, but I had JUST put in a load already.
So now i'm all "pff, whatever" about unpacking and caring about being ahead so as usual I'm backlogged on all the crazy cleaning and laundry and lord knows what else needs to be done to function as a grownup.
Will write about Vegas tomorrow...all I know is that I left Kraig for a few moments after I got my lap dance (after all that boob in my face, I felt like I needed to see some naked men...and...dang...those boys EARN their keep! And hands down, the dude with the knee pads pretty much had every chick in the place breathing a little too heavy....even for a strip club!) and I came back down, he was plastered, everyone had bought each other lap dances, and somehow my wallet has ALOT less cash than was in there before.
I probably wouldn't be so tired if I didn't stay up ALL night with Kraig who was puking nonstop...It got to the point where I was terrified that he had DIED on me, and then I'd hear him heaving and I'd think "oh thank God, he's still puking, he's still alive...."...along with "if that mother effer dies before we finalize on the legal paperwork, i'll kill him"....
Thursday, October 27, 2005
IM with my mom...some more
My_mom: hi there whats up
ME: nothing
My_mom: :(
My_mom: but thats good too in a way, at least peace of mind
My_mom: what are u doing this weekend
ME: going to vegas
My_mom: oh no
My_mom: wasting your money
ME: okay
My_mom: i hate vegas, to noisy, and all looks so cheap
My_mom: like its all imitation
My_mom: are u driving or flying?
My_mom: driving is a long way?
ME: flying
ME: driving is like 3 hours
My_mom: 3 hrs wow, thats not long
My_mom: thought it was more
ME: i live closer than ((my brother))
My_mom: shouldnt go to vegas during ramadhan
My_mom: its finish tuesday or wednesday anyway, then u can be evil again for a year
My_mom: i mean we all hehe
ME: okay
My_mom: shouldnt joke about it, it won't be a nice time on the day of judgement
ME: ok
My_mom: where did u put those islamic books dad gave u?
ME: they're still in the box
My_mom: yes, but where?
ME: in the hallway
My_mom: always put them above other things, never under, especially the koran and hadith
ME: okay
My_mom: never so that your feet point to it, its disrespectfull
My_mom: one may not be perfect, but some of the things like these should be easy to do
ME: ok
My_mom: in the hallway where i left it?
My_mom: surely cleaned up in the meantime?
ME: nope
My_mom: u r kidding, u are such a slob
My_mom: didnt u learn anything while u were at home ?
ME: no, i'm a slob
My_mom: anyway, take those books, put them in the room were the computer is and put it on the top closet shelf tonight
My_mom: it's important ok, listen to me sometimes
My_mom: teaches kraig too, to treat islamic books and the koran with respect
My_mom: u really got a big responsibility by marrying him, like he doesnt know any better and wont learn except from u
My_mom: like u want kids too, surely u dont want them to be christians, or even worse believing in nothing
ME: ok
My_mom: with each generation it gets more difficult to raise kids, it wont be easy once they get to a certain age i can tell u
ME: ok
My_mom: if u think u got it all figured out, u will be in for a big surprise, kids always want to go the other way
My_mom: its tough
My_mom: peer pressure is the worst enemy of parents i think
My_mom: anyway, i let u go now, c u
ME: okay
Good times.....
ME: nothing
My_mom: :(
My_mom: but thats good too in a way, at least peace of mind
My_mom: what are u doing this weekend
ME: going to vegas
My_mom: oh no
My_mom: wasting your money
ME: okay
My_mom: i hate vegas, to noisy, and all looks so cheap
My_mom: like its all imitation
My_mom: are u driving or flying?
My_mom: driving is a long way?
ME: flying
ME: driving is like 3 hours
My_mom: 3 hrs wow, thats not long
My_mom: thought it was more
ME: i live closer than ((my brother))
My_mom: shouldnt go to vegas during ramadhan
My_mom: its finish tuesday or wednesday anyway, then u can be evil again for a year
My_mom: i mean we all hehe
ME: okay
My_mom: shouldnt joke about it, it won't be a nice time on the day of judgement
ME: ok
My_mom: where did u put those islamic books dad gave u?
ME: they're still in the box
My_mom: yes, but where?
ME: in the hallway
My_mom: always put them above other things, never under, especially the koran and hadith
ME: okay
My_mom: never so that your feet point to it, its disrespectfull
My_mom: one may not be perfect, but some of the things like these should be easy to do
ME: ok
My_mom: in the hallway where i left it?
My_mom: surely cleaned up in the meantime?
ME: nope
My_mom: u r kidding, u are such a slob
My_mom: didnt u learn anything while u were at home ?
ME: no, i'm a slob
My_mom: anyway, take those books, put them in the room were the computer is and put it on the top closet shelf tonight
My_mom: it's important ok, listen to me sometimes
My_mom: teaches kraig too, to treat islamic books and the koran with respect
My_mom: u really got a big responsibility by marrying him, like he doesnt know any better and wont learn except from u
My_mom: like u want kids too, surely u dont want them to be christians, or even worse believing in nothing
ME: ok
My_mom: with each generation it gets more difficult to raise kids, it wont be easy once they get to a certain age i can tell u
ME: ok
My_mom: if u think u got it all figured out, u will be in for a big surprise, kids always want to go the other way
My_mom: its tough
My_mom: peer pressure is the worst enemy of parents i think
My_mom: anyway, i let u go now, c u
ME: okay
Good times.....
Respect my authoritayy!
Definitely have alot to get to today, since I'll be out of town for a few days and i've got serious random thoughts and gripes to get off my chest.
First off, the explanation for one of my Exes suddenly emailing me:
Now I got the real scoop! Greg was going on and on about how hot you looked at the wedding and that's how Adam freaked!! Classic! Well, he was right, you did look amazing!!
I love my friend Natalie...I spend 99.99999% of my day feeling like garbage, and a little email like that makes me feel a weeeeeee tiny bit better.
The look of regret continues...
In other news, when I grow up I want to be a rich teenager on Laguna Beach. This week's episode: The Graduation Ceremony. I was almost bawling because I miss high school so much...I was a total nerd/whatever, all about the grades, but it was the best time of my life. Heck, i went to like 6 proms in 2 years 'cause not only could I not believe my own highschool experience was over, I felt the need to be a part of everyone else's experiences as well lol.
What I can say is that my parents SOOOOO did not make a big deal about graduation like the teens on that show...
First off, because not graduating university wasn't an option, so not graduating high school was a no-brainer. My family's not going to congratulate me for passing something that I should be doing anyway...the family perspective is that it's like say brushing your teeth daily...you SHOULD be doing it and you don't deserve any special recognition for doing what you should be doing anyway.
My mom and brother went to my high school graduation (well, one of two...the second one was for OAC, aka grade 13, aka pre-university year which was just a reason to get dressed up and hang out with friends later)...my mom only went because my brother dragged her, and he only went because he bought this fancy new camcorder and Snappy software and wanted an excuse to use them.
Here's my "blog" page for that graduation day from back in the day, however I didn't write the text...when I got lazy and didn't update hte site (it's missing a TON of pages, i guess my brother removed the content years later) my brother would write for me...so he wrote the content which is why it sounds retarded.
Perusing my old diary, here's my top 10 for 1996 (I deleted my brother's stupid comments, wtf):
10. The Simpsons
9. Chandler from Friends
8. Club Monaco
7. GAP
6. LipSmackers
5. Pocahontas (out on video Feb 28)
4. SATIN T-Shirts
3. Quentin Tarantino
2. Payday
1. Poutine.
Ha number 3 is because Desperado came out that year and I soooooo love that movie...and i do still love payday, Club Monaco, Simpsons, Lip Smackers, Pocahontas (hello story of my life...wanting a different path than that set up by my father...and not wanting to marry who he picked out for me) and poutine...and i do still love sarcastic witty men...so basically in the past 9 years the only thing that's changed is that i don't care for the Gap anymore (well although my jean jacket yesterday was from there...whatever).
What's the moral of the story?
When you think you've changed completely as a person, your tastes, your interests..turns out...you're still an unevolved chimp.
The song of the day is Independent Woman by Destiny's Child
The shoes on my feet
I bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I bought it
The car I'm driving
I bought it
I depend on me (I depend on me)
In honor of Nicole D and her fabulous merit increase...she's everyone's hero....
On a side note to anyone who hates that song...yeah the song sucks but you knwo what...i DID buy everythingo n that list without a guy (except for the watch, which was an xmas gift from Kraig)....
Alright gotta start planning for Vegas....
First off, the explanation for one of my Exes suddenly emailing me:
Now I got the real scoop! Greg was going on and on about how hot you looked at the wedding and that's how Adam freaked!! Classic! Well, he was right, you did look amazing!!
I love my friend Natalie...I spend 99.99999% of my day feeling like garbage, and a little email like that makes me feel a weeeeeee tiny bit better.
The look of regret continues...
In other news, when I grow up I want to be a rich teenager on Laguna Beach. This week's episode: The Graduation Ceremony. I was almost bawling because I miss high school so much...I was a total nerd/whatever, all about the grades, but it was the best time of my life. Heck, i went to like 6 proms in 2 years 'cause not only could I not believe my own highschool experience was over, I felt the need to be a part of everyone else's experiences as well lol.
What I can say is that my parents SOOOOO did not make a big deal about graduation like the teens on that show...
First off, because not graduating university wasn't an option, so not graduating high school was a no-brainer. My family's not going to congratulate me for passing something that I should be doing anyway...the family perspective is that it's like say brushing your teeth daily...you SHOULD be doing it and you don't deserve any special recognition for doing what you should be doing anyway.
My mom and brother went to my high school graduation (well, one of two...the second one was for OAC, aka grade 13, aka pre-university year which was just a reason to get dressed up and hang out with friends later)...my mom only went because my brother dragged her, and he only went because he bought this fancy new camcorder and Snappy software and wanted an excuse to use them.
Here's my "blog" page for that graduation day from back in the day, however I didn't write the text...when I got lazy and didn't update hte site (it's missing a TON of pages, i guess my brother removed the content years later) my brother would write for me...so he wrote the content which is why it sounds retarded.
Perusing my old diary, here's my top 10 for 1996 (I deleted my brother's stupid comments, wtf):
10. The Simpsons
9. Chandler from Friends
8. Club Monaco
7. GAP
6. LipSmackers
5. Pocahontas (out on video Feb 28)
4. SATIN T-Shirts
3. Quentin Tarantino
2. Payday
1. Poutine.
Ha number 3 is because Desperado came out that year and I soooooo love that movie...and i do still love payday, Club Monaco, Simpsons, Lip Smackers, Pocahontas (hello story of my life...wanting a different path than that set up by my father...and not wanting to marry who he picked out for me) and poutine...and i do still love sarcastic witty men...so basically in the past 9 years the only thing that's changed is that i don't care for the Gap anymore (well although my jean jacket yesterday was from there...whatever).
What's the moral of the story?
When you think you've changed completely as a person, your tastes, your interests..turns out...you're still an unevolved chimp.
The song of the day is Independent Woman by Destiny's Child
The shoes on my feet
I bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I bought it
The car I'm driving
I bought it
I depend on me (I depend on me)
In honor of Nicole D and her fabulous merit increase...she's everyone's hero....
On a side note to anyone who hates that song...yeah the song sucks but you knwo what...i DID buy everythingo n that list without a guy (except for the watch, which was an xmas gift from Kraig)....
Alright gotta start planning for Vegas....
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Yeah there's typos, suck it
So some serious business to get to today...
First off, Stefanie: see, this helps prove your theory! (I hate stealing from other people's websites, but suck it...it's from intellectualwhores.com):
Men's Ladder
and women's ladders:
So yes....every chick is effable in every guy's eyes...
Next up....Congrats to our winner Carrie, who identified the Song of the Day when we were out drinking yesterday and yes, it's a flippin' depressing song. I love Lifehouse.
Speaking of, today's song of the day is Candy Shop by 50 Cent
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl,
don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot
Booyah.
It looks like Sat night we're going to a strip club in Vegas....I've never been to a strip club with Kraig, we'll see how that goes...only 'cause I love Tony and Rena will I take away from my valuable roulette time this weekend....From Tony's mass email answering my answers to Rena's questions:
1. I will break you.
2. Casino..I guess
3. Kraig loves wang and we all know it (the guys are upstairs in a different area)
4. I will kill you.
5. You will be broken.
I bought the Vanilla Creams Lipsmackers kit...there's like 8 chapsticks all with hints of vanilla and other stuff...I don't know why I buy crap like that when I only end up liking 2 of the flavors. Lipsmackers rocks my world. If i ever were a celebrity, these are the following products/chains that I would endorse for no money but the promise of a lifetime supply:
1. Bonne Bell Lipsmackers...i'm probably the oldest person who still uses that stuff.
2. KFC...but Canadian KFC, so that I can get endless amounts of KFC poutine. (And yes Nicole, I know PETA is against KFC, but if it takes being mean to a chicken so i can get that gravy over my poutine, well...that's just the circle of life....)
3. Target....anything Target....i should walk around with a white tshirt and red bullseyes on them for the sake of it.
4. Littermaid. Okay so that would be more my cat than me endorsing it, and I woudln't need a "lifetime supply" but i could donate them to the Humane Society or something. 'Cause i kid you not, i LOVE my Littermaid. If they didn't look so damn ugly I'd put one in both bathrooms.
5. Tazo....Tazo Passion Tea is the BEST STUFF EVER. Yesterday I spilled half my mug all over me (and it's one of those tall mugs) but fortunately I was wearing a purple skirt so the purple tea just blended right in and I smelled like Passion-ey goodness all night.
6. Pepsi....one day I'd like to show that it's possible to have more diet pepsi flowing through your body than blood itself.
More IMing with my mom, will paste that later...
My Name Is Earl is one of the best shows on TV right now.
So just a random thought about boys, men, guys, and "the game"...
Last night a few of us girls were having drinks (and water :P) at Happy Hour...and there was a group of 3 guys who kept looking our way. Somehow they ended up chatting with us (probably because we asked them to take a pic of us) and I don't mean to be mean...but....my girlfriends were WAY too goodlooking for these guys. In fact, i'll be mean, because my girlfriends are hot dammit.
And then next to them were these 2 guys...one was so-so, but the short dude was cute....and eventually i pushed one of my friends onto him....
And my thought is...
Why do ugly guys have the balls to talk to hot chicks?
Or is it that hot guys don't have to worry about it because they know the chicks will come to them? ALthough honestly, those 2 guys were by no means hot...one was cute, but that was it.
And on a similar thought...why chicks find it so important to get married....Sabina's opinion (and these opinions are my own, and do not necessarily reflect those of all womankind)...
Take edumacation for example. Your earliest memories involve school and you're in school for a frickin' long time, but eventually you know it's over. Graduation day is like one big sigh of relief (mixed with the letter behind your diploma when you're sitting at your seat playing with your GameBoy because your graduation ceremony was so effing long and that letter was from the alumni association wanting you to start donating cash....eff that crap I've only been an alumni for thirty seconds and already you want MORE money? Eff you)...it's OVER.
The same kind of deal is with chicks and marriage...starting with Bridal Barbie we're weaned on "the big day" notion, and then when you're big time dating it's all one big bizarre game, with that ring as the grand prize. And when it happens you get that sigh of relief, it's OVER...no more dating game.
I'll be the first one to say that marriage is boatloads of work and sacrifice and all that crap....but at the same time, dang, I do NOT have the energy for "the game" and maybe that's why some chicks aspire to get hitched at 22 or 23....how well do you want to play the game, how long do you want to play the game...
The game looks like ALOTTA work....it involves constant leg shaving...it requires nice clothes....it requires being Crazy Fun Girl....
I'm a lazy mofo. Which explains why I was always Serial Monogamy Girl....committment is way easier and way less work than dating (because i'm all about my sweatshirt and track pants and glasses on a Saturday night!)...
So I bow to the girls who are in the game and are good at it...marriage is for those of us that are just too lazy to keep playing!
First off, Stefanie: see, this helps prove your theory! (I hate stealing from other people's websites, but suck it...it's from intellectualwhores.com):
Men's Ladder
and women's ladders:
So yes....every chick is effable in every guy's eyes...
Next up....Congrats to our winner Carrie, who identified the Song of the Day when we were out drinking yesterday and yes, it's a flippin' depressing song. I love Lifehouse.
Speaking of, today's song of the day is Candy Shop by 50 Cent
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl,
don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot
Booyah.
It looks like Sat night we're going to a strip club in Vegas....I've never been to a strip club with Kraig, we'll see how that goes...only 'cause I love Tony and Rena will I take away from my valuable roulette time this weekend....From Tony's mass email answering my answers to Rena's questions:
1. I will break you.
2. Casino..I guess
3. Kraig loves wang and we all know it (the guys are upstairs in a different area)
4. I will kill you.
5. You will be broken.
I bought the Vanilla Creams Lipsmackers kit...there's like 8 chapsticks all with hints of vanilla and other stuff...I don't know why I buy crap like that when I only end up liking 2 of the flavors. Lipsmackers rocks my world. If i ever were a celebrity, these are the following products/chains that I would endorse for no money but the promise of a lifetime supply:
1. Bonne Bell Lipsmackers...i'm probably the oldest person who still uses that stuff.
2. KFC...but Canadian KFC, so that I can get endless amounts of KFC poutine. (And yes Nicole, I know PETA is against KFC, but if it takes being mean to a chicken so i can get that gravy over my poutine, well...that's just the circle of life....)
3. Target....anything Target....i should walk around with a white tshirt and red bullseyes on them for the sake of it.
4. Littermaid. Okay so that would be more my cat than me endorsing it, and I woudln't need a "lifetime supply" but i could donate them to the Humane Society or something. 'Cause i kid you not, i LOVE my Littermaid. If they didn't look so damn ugly I'd put one in both bathrooms.
5. Tazo....Tazo Passion Tea is the BEST STUFF EVER. Yesterday I spilled half my mug all over me (and it's one of those tall mugs) but fortunately I was wearing a purple skirt so the purple tea just blended right in and I smelled like Passion-ey goodness all night.
6. Pepsi....one day I'd like to show that it's possible to have more diet pepsi flowing through your body than blood itself.
More IMing with my mom, will paste that later...
My Name Is Earl is one of the best shows on TV right now.
So just a random thought about boys, men, guys, and "the game"...
Last night a few of us girls were having drinks (and water :P) at Happy Hour...and there was a group of 3 guys who kept looking our way. Somehow they ended up chatting with us (probably because we asked them to take a pic of us) and I don't mean to be mean...but....my girlfriends were WAY too goodlooking for these guys. In fact, i'll be mean, because my girlfriends are hot dammit.
And then next to them were these 2 guys...one was so-so, but the short dude was cute....and eventually i pushed one of my friends onto him....
And my thought is...
Why do ugly guys have the balls to talk to hot chicks?
Or is it that hot guys don't have to worry about it because they know the chicks will come to them? ALthough honestly, those 2 guys were by no means hot...one was cute, but that was it.
And on a similar thought...why chicks find it so important to get married....Sabina's opinion (and these opinions are my own, and do not necessarily reflect those of all womankind)...
Take edumacation for example. Your earliest memories involve school and you're in school for a frickin' long time, but eventually you know it's over. Graduation day is like one big sigh of relief (mixed with the letter behind your diploma when you're sitting at your seat playing with your GameBoy because your graduation ceremony was so effing long and that letter was from the alumni association wanting you to start donating cash....eff that crap I've only been an alumni for thirty seconds and already you want MORE money? Eff you)...it's OVER.
The same kind of deal is with chicks and marriage...starting with Bridal Barbie we're weaned on "the big day" notion, and then when you're big time dating it's all one big bizarre game, with that ring as the grand prize. And when it happens you get that sigh of relief, it's OVER...no more dating game.
I'll be the first one to say that marriage is boatloads of work and sacrifice and all that crap....but at the same time, dang, I do NOT have the energy for "the game" and maybe that's why some chicks aspire to get hitched at 22 or 23....how well do you want to play the game, how long do you want to play the game...
The game looks like ALOTTA work....it involves constant leg shaving...it requires nice clothes....it requires being Crazy Fun Girl....
I'm a lazy mofo. Which explains why I was always Serial Monogamy Girl....committment is way easier and way less work than dating (because i'm all about my sweatshirt and track pants and glasses on a Saturday night!)...
So I bow to the girls who are in the game and are good at it...marriage is for those of us that are just too lazy to keep playing!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
I'm the most immature grownup ever
Is there anything more fabulous than:
My Little Pony
Power Puff Girls (mojo jojo!!)
Disney movies (still gotta open my Cinderella DVD)
Seventeen magazine
if i could, I'd still read Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High, and Nancy Drew (old skool Nancy Drew with the yellow covers, not any of the trendier stuff written under the original author's name)...
The Pony Project!!! Damn I wish i lived in New York!
My Little Pony
Power Puff Girls (mojo jojo!!)
Disney movies (still gotta open my Cinderella DVD)
Seventeen magazine
if i could, I'd still read Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High, and Nancy Drew (old skool Nancy Drew with the yellow covers, not any of the trendier stuff written under the original author's name)...
The Pony Project!!! Damn I wish i lived in New York!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Yeah I realized that by linking to the Nicole Richie pic it effs up the template, but it'll get bumped over to the October posts anyway when November hits, so suck it.
The song of the day is You and Me by Lifehouse
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I managed to score all 3 of the Holiday Exclusive My Little Pony, which is pretty rare each year...i also got one extra of the MInty, which will be saved for ebay of course (i do this each year and each year i never sell them, excpet for year one which i'm kicking myself for, i mean i have a ton of extras but now they go for $75 and i sold mine for like $30)...
Here's the deal with the lawyer...
You get yourself a living trust, and then get a "pour over" will so that if youv'e got like $100K of stuff that you forgot to fund into the trust, well at least the will part will get it covered. As a safety net. note to self: need to get paperwork to fund the trust for both the timeshare and Kraig's mustang.
There's all sorts of things you need to have in place so that if you hospitalized, other people can take care of "property" stuff, and people can take care of medical stuff...normally that person is your spouse, but if you're both effed up, you need someone else to step in. All that Power of Attorney for Property, Power of Attorney for Medical (=living will) stuff.
When it comes to buying ahouse, most people get "joint tenant with right of survivorship", but apparently that's NOT what you want...what you want is "community property with right of survivorship", that way the IRS treats all the gains like you bought it the year you sell it, or somethingl ike that. Like when yous ell your house, you get $250K exemption and your spouse gets $250K exemption...well if the spouse dies, you're effed, unles syou do the community property route.
And the biggie......turns out that being Canadian effing sucks. The lawyer was like "PLEASE get your US citizenship!" and I'm like "hey I've got 330 days to wait for my conditional green card to be switched toa regular one!"...Trust me, i'll get that badass citizenship when I can, I'll exploit this US thing for all I can. Once again, NOT something I would have known just going to NOLO.COM, but if you're not a US citizen then you get taxed through the nose if you inherit stuff...because the IRS doesn't do that normally (gift and estate taxes) because they're all for their people getting loads of dough to spend within the country, but the idea is that if you're NOT a US Citizen, then you can easily say "i don't want ot be here anymore without my spouse" and take all that cash to another country...uncle sam isn't down for that.
So i have to get a "Q." which is some sort of validity of domestic trust, which says that someone else is the co-trustee and they're agreeing that if i skip the country, they'll pay the taxes. Yeah don't know too many people who are going to agree to that, especially since i'm 3 or 4 years away from getting my citizenship.
And then when it comes to trusts there's all sorts of "styles", what you want is an "A/B" style because then whenever it gets down to your kids, they don't get reemed on the taxes (especially when teh estate grows)...and you want the Disclaimer A/B Trust, not the Formula A/B trust (which is good for say blended families, stuff like that)...
Anyway, it was a 2.5 hour meeting and I wanted to shoot myself when it was all over, and we have yet to begin.
When he started the paperwork, he asked what we wanted to name the trust. Like most people would just put the "Horigan Trust" or something like that...Kraig and I looked at each other and KNEW of course what that trust was going to be named...
The Marmalade Trust
Booyah. Of course if Marmalade dies by the time I have to call this whole thing into effect, i'll probably be more depressed than before....
Kraig wanted "One Trust to rule them all..." but i told him if that I had to deal with any LOTR crap when dealing with his death, I would probably flip out.
Dang i'm sleepy today.
The song of the day is You and Me by Lifehouse
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I managed to score all 3 of the Holiday Exclusive My Little Pony, which is pretty rare each year...i also got one extra of the MInty, which will be saved for ebay of course (i do this each year and each year i never sell them, excpet for year one which i'm kicking myself for, i mean i have a ton of extras but now they go for $75 and i sold mine for like $30)...
Here's the deal with the lawyer...
You get yourself a living trust, and then get a "pour over" will so that if youv'e got like $100K of stuff that you forgot to fund into the trust, well at least the will part will get it covered. As a safety net. note to self: need to get paperwork to fund the trust for both the timeshare and Kraig's mustang.
There's all sorts of things you need to have in place so that if you hospitalized, other people can take care of "property" stuff, and people can take care of medical stuff...normally that person is your spouse, but if you're both effed up, you need someone else to step in. All that Power of Attorney for Property, Power of Attorney for Medical (=living will) stuff.
When it comes to buying ahouse, most people get "joint tenant with right of survivorship", but apparently that's NOT what you want...what you want is "community property with right of survivorship", that way the IRS treats all the gains like you bought it the year you sell it, or somethingl ike that. Like when yous ell your house, you get $250K exemption and your spouse gets $250K exemption...well if the spouse dies, you're effed, unles syou do the community property route.
And the biggie......turns out that being Canadian effing sucks. The lawyer was like "PLEASE get your US citizenship!" and I'm like "hey I've got 330 days to wait for my conditional green card to be switched toa regular one!"...Trust me, i'll get that badass citizenship when I can, I'll exploit this US thing for all I can. Once again, NOT something I would have known just going to NOLO.COM, but if you're not a US citizen then you get taxed through the nose if you inherit stuff...because the IRS doesn't do that normally (gift and estate taxes) because they're all for their people getting loads of dough to spend within the country, but the idea is that if you're NOT a US Citizen, then you can easily say "i don't want ot be here anymore without my spouse" and take all that cash to another country...uncle sam isn't down for that.
So i have to get a "Q." which is some sort of validity of domestic trust, which says that someone else is the co-trustee and they're agreeing that if i skip the country, they'll pay the taxes. Yeah don't know too many people who are going to agree to that, especially since i'm 3 or 4 years away from getting my citizenship.
And then when it comes to trusts there's all sorts of "styles", what you want is an "A/B" style because then whenever it gets down to your kids, they don't get reemed on the taxes (especially when teh estate grows)...and you want the Disclaimer A/B Trust, not the Formula A/B trust (which is good for say blended families, stuff like that)...
Anyway, it was a 2.5 hour meeting and I wanted to shoot myself when it was all over, and we have yet to begin.
When he started the paperwork, he asked what we wanted to name the trust. Like most people would just put the "Horigan Trust" or something like that...Kraig and I looked at each other and KNEW of course what that trust was going to be named...
The Marmalade Trust
Booyah. Of course if Marmalade dies by the time I have to call this whole thing into effect, i'll probably be more depressed than before....
Kraig wanted "One Trust to rule them all..." but i told him if that I had to deal with any LOTR crap when dealing with his death, I would probably flip out.
Dang i'm sleepy today.
Late night random thoughts
It's almost 2am, Sat night...
Just more random thoughts and griping, as usual.
Met with the lawyer today, more in another blog for sure, but I just gotta say G*DDAMN there's so much to know there's no way that printing a few forms off Nolo.com is gonna cut it, especially when it comes to tax ramifications and what not. It's kinda sad when the lawyer asks you whether your want your family to take charge of stuff and both you and your husband yell "NO!!!"....
My confession: now that Jimmy Fallon is gone from SNL, for some reason Seth Meyers is starting to look really hot in my mind (even though part of me thinks he might be gay...whatever).
I bought this purple/aubergine top that has a great cut to it but has hints of sparkle which always makes things look cheap, so I don't know if i'm gonna keep it (okay, well it WAS cheap but I love the style...just that sparkle situation)...it's one thing when you live somewhere with snow, 'cause then you think of the holidays and all that good stuff. When you live in California, it's more like "dang...can I get away by putting a jean jacket over that tshirt in December?"...
I want a new iron (I know, how very Martha of me to want one), but I want to splurge on a decent one...I don't think the one I have now gets hot enough and I want one with a stainless steel soleplate and a cord that recoils.
Speaking of ironing, wtf...so today I ran a bunch of errands, and I had to get new fluorescant lights for the bathroom (going days without lights in the bathroom is effing hard!), but somehow at Target I bought everything BUT the lights so after I pulled out of the complex and I realized I had forgotten, I drove up one street and went to Walmart to buy the lights...both stores were out of ironing boards, I normally use a tabletop board 'cause I'm so anti-ironing it's against my morals and principles to get a full-sized one...but lately I"ve been handwashing everything I own which means serious ironing required...
Yeah that's my griping, it's about ironing, whatcha gonna do about it? Suck it...
Every now and then thanks to Netflix I get to watch movies that I always think "yeah...i should watch that..." but would never rent and can't rent with friends because they're either REALLY old or eveyrone else has seen it....today I watched A Fish Called Wanda...yeah I'm an idiot, I never saw it, suck it. Totally retarded movie and yet I totally died laughing every time Kevin Kline kept yelling at people for their driving.
There's boatloads of movies that everyone's seen that I haven't and I need to get off my ass and rent. I boycotted Blair Witch and Sixth Sense for the longest time because I got so fed up of hearing about them. I refuse to ever watch Blair Witch (long story,don't ask) but eventually I figured I should see Sixth Sense 'cause I dig Bruce Willis...until um yeah I watched 50 First Dates and Drew Barrymore TELLS YOU what happens in it (this is the part where I wreak it for anyone who hasn't seen it and I tell you that she says how he's a ghost the entire time)....I think I screamed in the movie theater when she said that, and eventually when I did see Sixth Sense i was like "g*ddamn this is a boring movie" because to me, it was super obvious either way...but then again, that blond kid irritates the crap out of me so I'm sure I would have disliked it regardless.
In other news, I think my subscription to US Weekly ran out.
US Weekly is like...my BIBLE.
I just can't justify the cost of that subscription though...maybe if I get it cheap of ebay (which is THE place to get super cheap subscriptions), but even then it'll take at least 3 months to fully process. The highlight of my week is running to the mailbox on a Friday to get my US Weekly....sigh.
I can't believe it's already Hallowe'en in a week. IN A WEEK. That's crazy. This year flew by so effing fast. I can't believe I'm going to Vegas AGAIN for Hallowe'en. I can't believe that my costume will be a non-costume 'cause I'm sick of dressing up for parties or vegas each year.
Although I seriously looooove giving out candy...this is my 2nd year owning a home on Hallowe'en and I'm so psyched to give out candy again...I'm the biggest cheapest bastard on the planet, but Hallowe'en is my one time to go all out...you know...I gotta give back to the people! Gotta pay my dues, and I"m more than fine by that because Hallowe'en is the only holiday where hands-down, every year was a fabulous memory.
Going to surf the web for dresses that I'll never buy and then go to sleep.
Just more random thoughts and griping, as usual.
Met with the lawyer today, more in another blog for sure, but I just gotta say G*DDAMN there's so much to know there's no way that printing a few forms off Nolo.com is gonna cut it, especially when it comes to tax ramifications and what not. It's kinda sad when the lawyer asks you whether your want your family to take charge of stuff and both you and your husband yell "NO!!!"....
My confession: now that Jimmy Fallon is gone from SNL, for some reason Seth Meyers is starting to look really hot in my mind (even though part of me thinks he might be gay...whatever).
I bought this purple/aubergine top that has a great cut to it but has hints of sparkle which always makes things look cheap, so I don't know if i'm gonna keep it (okay, well it WAS cheap but I love the style...just that sparkle situation)...it's one thing when you live somewhere with snow, 'cause then you think of the holidays and all that good stuff. When you live in California, it's more like "dang...can I get away by putting a jean jacket over that tshirt in December?"...
I want a new iron (I know, how very Martha of me to want one), but I want to splurge on a decent one...I don't think the one I have now gets hot enough and I want one with a stainless steel soleplate and a cord that recoils.
Speaking of ironing, wtf...so today I ran a bunch of errands, and I had to get new fluorescant lights for the bathroom (going days without lights in the bathroom is effing hard!), but somehow at Target I bought everything BUT the lights so after I pulled out of the complex and I realized I had forgotten, I drove up one street and went to Walmart to buy the lights...both stores were out of ironing boards, I normally use a tabletop board 'cause I'm so anti-ironing it's against my morals and principles to get a full-sized one...but lately I"ve been handwashing everything I own which means serious ironing required...
Yeah that's my griping, it's about ironing, whatcha gonna do about it? Suck it...
Every now and then thanks to Netflix I get to watch movies that I always think "yeah...i should watch that..." but would never rent and can't rent with friends because they're either REALLY old or eveyrone else has seen it....today I watched A Fish Called Wanda...yeah I'm an idiot, I never saw it, suck it. Totally retarded movie and yet I totally died laughing every time Kevin Kline kept yelling at people for their driving.
There's boatloads of movies that everyone's seen that I haven't and I need to get off my ass and rent. I boycotted Blair Witch and Sixth Sense for the longest time because I got so fed up of hearing about them. I refuse to ever watch Blair Witch (long story,don't ask) but eventually I figured I should see Sixth Sense 'cause I dig Bruce Willis...until um yeah I watched 50 First Dates and Drew Barrymore TELLS YOU what happens in it (this is the part where I wreak it for anyone who hasn't seen it and I tell you that she says how he's a ghost the entire time)....I think I screamed in the movie theater when she said that, and eventually when I did see Sixth Sense i was like "g*ddamn this is a boring movie" because to me, it was super obvious either way...but then again, that blond kid irritates the crap out of me so I'm sure I would have disliked it regardless.
In other news, I think my subscription to US Weekly ran out.
US Weekly is like...my BIBLE.
I just can't justify the cost of that subscription though...maybe if I get it cheap of ebay (which is THE place to get super cheap subscriptions), but even then it'll take at least 3 months to fully process. The highlight of my week is running to the mailbox on a Friday to get my US Weekly....sigh.
I can't believe it's already Hallowe'en in a week. IN A WEEK. That's crazy. This year flew by so effing fast. I can't believe I'm going to Vegas AGAIN for Hallowe'en. I can't believe that my costume will be a non-costume 'cause I'm sick of dressing up for parties or vegas each year.
Although I seriously looooove giving out candy...this is my 2nd year owning a home on Hallowe'en and I'm so psyched to give out candy again...I'm the biggest cheapest bastard on the planet, but Hallowe'en is my one time to go all out...you know...I gotta give back to the people! Gotta pay my dues, and I"m more than fine by that because Hallowe'en is the only holiday where hands-down, every year was a fabulous memory.
Going to surf the web for dresses that I'll never buy and then go to sleep.
Friday, October 21, 2005
I love Arnold!
Seriously, I love Arnold.
I really do.
At least he's got the balls to flat out say he's too busy for the president: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051021/ap_on_re_us/schwarzenegger_bush_visit
I love that he calls people Girly Men...
I love that he's standing his ground on NOT giving driver's licenses to illegals while still being all "Oh, we'll find something for them" but not coming up with anything (hey, I know the game...I know he's gotta BS around to make as many people as happy as possible)...
I love that he's actually taking a pay CUT to do that job...he's not some sniveling little twerp who's daddy wanted him to be the president his entire life
I love that he's not American
I love that my governer was in Running Man, Terminator (x3), he was Conan, that people think he gropes women to this day, and that he practically owns Joe Weider's ass.
My only complaint?
His wife needs to eat a burger....and get her teeth fixed. Egads.
I really do.
At least he's got the balls to flat out say he's too busy for the president: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051021/ap_on_re_us/schwarzenegger_bush_visit
I love that he calls people Girly Men...
I love that he's standing his ground on NOT giving driver's licenses to illegals while still being all "Oh, we'll find something for them" but not coming up with anything (hey, I know the game...I know he's gotta BS around to make as many people as happy as possible)...
I love that he's actually taking a pay CUT to do that job...he's not some sniveling little twerp who's daddy wanted him to be the president his entire life
I love that he's not American
I love that my governer was in Running Man, Terminator (x3), he was Conan, that people think he gropes women to this day, and that he practically owns Joe Weider's ass.
My only complaint?
His wife needs to eat a burger....and get her teeth fixed. Egads.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Cats in the cradle....
A few thoughts...
I think Nicole Richie is fabulous, she looks a million times better than before...kudos to her stylist for turning her into a gorgeous classy lady:
Link to a snippet of Madonna's new video for Hung Up...holy crap I can't believe how badly I can't wait for that CD to come out. I'm almost holding my breath....
You've got balls to try and pull this off on ebay: Chinese Police Probe Online Baby Auction
So a little something on my mind...
According to Dictionary.com, the definition of FLIRT is:To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
And to clarify "playfully": Full of fun and high spirits; frolicsome or sportive
That being said, I almost take GREAT offense when someone calls me a flirt. It's one thing to do that with a guy you're dating, seeing, sleeping with, or generally have serious chemistry that will lead to any of the previous items....
But in general, like say just chatting it up with someone, I am NOT a flirt. "Romantic or sexual overtures"...wtf...i have neither a romantic nor a sexy bone in my body, I'm the kid sister type. It took me almost 2 years of eating at the same place each week to get to the point where I could ask, when offered free chips, for the dude to toss in some guacamole...and I almost had a heart attack doing it.
I'm not afraid to get chatty with people and crap...i'll talk to a homeless dude, i don't care, but that's more of a random fascination with anything that passes my fancy at that exact second.
I think at most maybe 3 or 4 times has anyone ever called me a flirt (especially while sober!), and I almost flipped my lid.
I
Am
NOT
a
flirt!
Or at least, a good one....
Flirting requires skill...it's an art. Take Sylvia. I think she's gorgeous, and when you see that girl in action you know she's not messin' around. She giggles, she feigns interest in stupid boy crap, and she can walk that delicate line between teasing vs. making a guy feel stupid....I bow to her flirting greatness.
I however fall more into the "one of guys" category...not as much now since I'm married and I'm trying to be a little more girly girl as I get older (I was NEVER girly girl before)...but some chicks get in good with guys because they flirt, and guys feel good when girls flirt with them. That's WAY too much work if it doesn't come naturally, so eff that crap. I'd rather just hang out with a bunch of guys, talk smack, eat like a pig, dress like a slob (HA...Kraig even pointed out last night how i've got socks from elementary school that I still wear...I love my super faded-to-grey socks!), and let my pretty friends do the flirting work on my behalf.
And let's not forget, flirting comes in different forms. Angelina Jolie does it with her "come hither" eyes. Tara Reid does it by grabbing a guy's shlong in a bar. Same diff. It's all flirting in the name of playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
Mother.
effer.
It's like when people say i'm naturally thin (and i'm not, y'all have seen me in a bikini, i seriously need plastic surgery in the boob department).....let's be real, the people who know me know that I go to the gym at 11pm at night if i have to...and before I got married, i used to leave functions so that i could get to the gym before it closed (it was Gold's, not 24HF)...
On to other subjects
There's no song of the day because i have an old Michael Jackson song in my head (wanna be startin' sumthin') and if i write about that, I'll have to blog about how Michael wants to be hardcore and I told Nicole I wouldn't do that :P
I agree with everyone: LC and Jason should NOT be together, he's an idiot, and LC is way too gorgeous to be with a tool like him.
Final note: thank you Nic B for that article on pregnancy through the years...becausei 'm effing sick and tired of people telling me that i shouldn't worry about being like 50 when having kids... Kraig and i have the WORST luck and we'll be the statistic....SO yeah, i'm getting pregnant by the end of next year.
You'd think with mother nature being a woman and all, she'd be on our side...
I think Nicole Richie is fabulous, she looks a million times better than before...kudos to her stylist for turning her into a gorgeous classy lady:
Link to a snippet of Madonna's new video for Hung Up...holy crap I can't believe how badly I can't wait for that CD to come out. I'm almost holding my breath....
You've got balls to try and pull this off on ebay: Chinese Police Probe Online Baby Auction
So a little something on my mind...
According to Dictionary.com, the definition of FLIRT is:To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
And to clarify "playfully": Full of fun and high spirits; frolicsome or sportive
That being said, I almost take GREAT offense when someone calls me a flirt. It's one thing to do that with a guy you're dating, seeing, sleeping with, or generally have serious chemistry that will lead to any of the previous items....
But in general, like say just chatting it up with someone, I am NOT a flirt. "Romantic or sexual overtures"...wtf...i have neither a romantic nor a sexy bone in my body, I'm the kid sister type. It took me almost 2 years of eating at the same place each week to get to the point where I could ask, when offered free chips, for the dude to toss in some guacamole...and I almost had a heart attack doing it.
I'm not afraid to get chatty with people and crap...i'll talk to a homeless dude, i don't care, but that's more of a random fascination with anything that passes my fancy at that exact second.
I think at most maybe 3 or 4 times has anyone ever called me a flirt (especially while sober!), and I almost flipped my lid.
I
Am
NOT
a
flirt!
Or at least, a good one....
Flirting requires skill...it's an art. Take Sylvia. I think she's gorgeous, and when you see that girl in action you know she's not messin' around. She giggles, she feigns interest in stupid boy crap, and she can walk that delicate line between teasing vs. making a guy feel stupid....I bow to her flirting greatness.
I however fall more into the "one of guys" category...not as much now since I'm married and I'm trying to be a little more girly girl as I get older (I was NEVER girly girl before)...but some chicks get in good with guys because they flirt, and guys feel good when girls flirt with them. That's WAY too much work if it doesn't come naturally, so eff that crap. I'd rather just hang out with a bunch of guys, talk smack, eat like a pig, dress like a slob (HA...Kraig even pointed out last night how i've got socks from elementary school that I still wear...I love my super faded-to-grey socks!), and let my pretty friends do the flirting work on my behalf.
And let's not forget, flirting comes in different forms. Angelina Jolie does it with her "come hither" eyes. Tara Reid does it by grabbing a guy's shlong in a bar. Same diff. It's all flirting in the name of playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
Mother.
effer.
It's like when people say i'm naturally thin (and i'm not, y'all have seen me in a bikini, i seriously need plastic surgery in the boob department).....let's be real, the people who know me know that I go to the gym at 11pm at night if i have to...and before I got married, i used to leave functions so that i could get to the gym before it closed (it was Gold's, not 24HF)...
On to other subjects
There's no song of the day because i have an old Michael Jackson song in my head (wanna be startin' sumthin') and if i write about that, I'll have to blog about how Michael wants to be hardcore and I told Nicole I wouldn't do that :P
I agree with everyone: LC and Jason should NOT be together, he's an idiot, and LC is way too gorgeous to be with a tool like him.
Final note: thank you Nic B for that article on pregnancy through the years...becausei 'm effing sick and tired of people telling me that i shouldn't worry about being like 50 when having kids... Kraig and i have the WORST luck and we'll be the statistic....SO yeah, i'm getting pregnant by the end of next year.
You'd think with mother nature being a woman and all, she'd be on our side...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Need. Sleep. Bad. Sigh.
It's 5:35am.
I've been awake since THREE AM.
Stash has been a menace all night, he keeps circling my pillow and chewing on my hair and really I could probably handle all that (even though his tail and fur in my face isn't so comfy), but he has serious claws and I'm always afraid he'll claw my face (cat scratches scar big time...I should know!).
Then you have Marmalade sleeping on my side of the bed, plus Kraig's incesssant snoring...normally this all starts at 4 or 5am, but today it started at 3 and since I didn't get to bed until 11:30...well I'm going to be super cranky later today that's for sure.
Might as well start reading this morning's news...
This is effing hilarious
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - The author of a new state law that allows felony charges against owners of dangerous dogs was hospitalized over the weekend after his own dog attacked him.
And i love animals...but...irony is always good for a laugh.
LOS ANGELES - Antonio Banderas got down on his knees and rubbed his hands over his new Hollywood star on Tuesday, then stood up and reminisced warmly about the events that led to his being immortalized on the entertaiment capital's Walk of Fame.
Okay I think the man is pretty hot, even in his old age...but really other than Desperado (one of the best movies EVER) and Shrek2, has he done anything THAT fabulous? And before you ask, I dare you to try and watch effing 13th Warrior. Exactly.
It's super hard for me to read the news here in the US because a good chunk of it is political stuff and since I can't vote, I prefer to keep myself as ignorant as possible. It's a choice every immigrant has to make for herself. I end up getting really pissed off at not being able to make a change...or at the very least, I end up thinking "am I missing something? Are people here just retarded? What the bleep is wrong with people?!"...
That being said...
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Investigators at the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services recently became aware of four cases of HIV infection related to work in the adult film industry. The infections occurred despite a widely adopted voluntary program of HIV and STD testing in the industry.
As reported in the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, the first identified case was a 40-year-old man who tested HIV-negative on February 12 and March 17, 2004, but tested positive on April 9.
You know what I love about that article? Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. That is officially the best title for anything EVER. Who decides on the content? I would love LOVE love to have that on my resume...."Contributing author for Morbidity and Mortality Weekly...job duties include finding some effed up sh*t"...
Kraig owes me big time...Stash is in the computer room bugging me which means he's not in the bedroom bugging Kraig...he better enjoy that sleep...
Well isn't this effing fabulous:
ROCHESTER, N.Y. (AP) - Eastman Kodak Co., stung by a sharp drop in film sales midway through its painful shift from traditional photography to digital imaging, posted a third-quarter loss of $1.03 billion US largely because of one-time tax charges related to its massive restructuring.
And guess who's retarded enough to have stocks in Kodak? Oh yeah that would be ME. Okay so i've only got like 5 stocks, but with the stupid service charge I needed them to go up a bit just to break even (I paid $27ish and it's around $23ish right now). I swear, I have the worst luck EVER. There's one relatively cheap stock that I kept telling myself I had to buy (because I know how fabulous the company is), it was only $6 at the time and now it's over $12 and I'm KICKING myself because I totally knew it was going to go up. I swear I'm the biggest moron I know.
Had to yell just now at Stash for chewing on the metal Boba Fett I got Kraig last year
Yeah.
I'm babbling.
I'm exhausted.
And I'm FREEZING wtf.
Marmalde is pawling at my lap (she just jumped on, countdown to when she starts to jump on the keyboard)
I want a stupid bagel with strawberry cream cheese
Friday Five even though it's a Wednesday:
1. What deadlines do you have in your life right now?
- to get that whole wills/advanced medical directiving/living wills/trusts crap done
- to finally get additional life insurance
- to re-appraise my wedding ring for my jewelry insurance
- to re-do the photos for the house insurance (since the last time i did all that was when we were renting)
- to do serious inventory of our stuff for house insurance (becuase people always underestimate what they have)
- to put up all that crap i've got on ebay...i used to be SO good but the past 2 months, i've slacked
2. How well do you generally deal with external deadlines (i.e., those imposed by other people or factors)?
- I do very good, however if it's something cash related I get it done asap...if there's no cash involved, I prograstinate big time...heck even my green card conditional thing i took forever to do.
3. How well do you generally deal with internal deadlines (i.e., those imposed by yourself)?
- once again, depends if cash is a factor...like say getting supplemental insurance for things i'm good at doing...but just general "should do" like cleaning or whatever, i'm a lazy bastard.
4. What's the most important deadline that you've ever missed?
- Well...i missed that deadline to roll over the CD-type IRA that finally was reaching maturity and now i'ts locked in for another 3 years or something like that...otherwise....can't think of anything.
5. What's the most important deadline that you *didn't* miss?
- my green card application (the permanent one removing the conditional sentencing)
- renewing my passport while i was still on a visa (since i'm out of the country, that's not something I can afford to have expire!)
- I dunno...
Time to get in 10 mins of sleeping before my alarm goes off for work.
I've been awake since THREE AM.
Stash has been a menace all night, he keeps circling my pillow and chewing on my hair and really I could probably handle all that (even though his tail and fur in my face isn't so comfy), but he has serious claws and I'm always afraid he'll claw my face (cat scratches scar big time...I should know!).
Then you have Marmalade sleeping on my side of the bed, plus Kraig's incesssant snoring...normally this all starts at 4 or 5am, but today it started at 3 and since I didn't get to bed until 11:30...well I'm going to be super cranky later today that's for sure.
Might as well start reading this morning's news...
This is effing hilarious
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - The author of a new state law that allows felony charges against owners of dangerous dogs was hospitalized over the weekend after his own dog attacked him.
And i love animals...but...irony is always good for a laugh.
LOS ANGELES - Antonio Banderas got down on his knees and rubbed his hands over his new Hollywood star on Tuesday, then stood up and reminisced warmly about the events that led to his being immortalized on the entertaiment capital's Walk of Fame.
Okay I think the man is pretty hot, even in his old age...but really other than Desperado (one of the best movies EVER) and Shrek2, has he done anything THAT fabulous? And before you ask, I dare you to try and watch effing 13th Warrior. Exactly.
It's super hard for me to read the news here in the US because a good chunk of it is political stuff and since I can't vote, I prefer to keep myself as ignorant as possible. It's a choice every immigrant has to make for herself. I end up getting really pissed off at not being able to make a change...or at the very least, I end up thinking "am I missing something? Are people here just retarded? What the bleep is wrong with people?!"...
That being said...
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Investigators at the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services recently became aware of four cases of HIV infection related to work in the adult film industry. The infections occurred despite a widely adopted voluntary program of HIV and STD testing in the industry.
As reported in the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, the first identified case was a 40-year-old man who tested HIV-negative on February 12 and March 17, 2004, but tested positive on April 9.
You know what I love about that article? Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. That is officially the best title for anything EVER. Who decides on the content? I would love LOVE love to have that on my resume...."Contributing author for Morbidity and Mortality Weekly...job duties include finding some effed up sh*t"...
Kraig owes me big time...Stash is in the computer room bugging me which means he's not in the bedroom bugging Kraig...he better enjoy that sleep...
Well isn't this effing fabulous:
ROCHESTER, N.Y. (AP) - Eastman Kodak Co., stung by a sharp drop in film sales midway through its painful shift from traditional photography to digital imaging, posted a third-quarter loss of $1.03 billion US largely because of one-time tax charges related to its massive restructuring.
And guess who's retarded enough to have stocks in Kodak? Oh yeah that would be ME. Okay so i've only got like 5 stocks, but with the stupid service charge I needed them to go up a bit just to break even (I paid $27ish and it's around $23ish right now). I swear, I have the worst luck EVER. There's one relatively cheap stock that I kept telling myself I had to buy (because I know how fabulous the company is), it was only $6 at the time and now it's over $12 and I'm KICKING myself because I totally knew it was going to go up. I swear I'm the biggest moron I know.
Had to yell just now at Stash for chewing on the metal Boba Fett I got Kraig last year
Yeah.
I'm babbling.
I'm exhausted.
And I'm FREEZING wtf.
Marmalde is pawling at my lap (she just jumped on, countdown to when she starts to jump on the keyboard)
I want a stupid bagel with strawberry cream cheese
Friday Five even though it's a Wednesday:
1. What deadlines do you have in your life right now?
- to get that whole wills/advanced medical directiving/living wills/trusts crap done
- to finally get additional life insurance
- to re-appraise my wedding ring for my jewelry insurance
- to re-do the photos for the house insurance (since the last time i did all that was when we were renting)
- to do serious inventory of our stuff for house insurance (becuase people always underestimate what they have)
- to put up all that crap i've got on ebay...i used to be SO good but the past 2 months, i've slacked
2. How well do you generally deal with external deadlines (i.e., those imposed by other people or factors)?
- I do very good, however if it's something cash related I get it done asap...if there's no cash involved, I prograstinate big time...heck even my green card conditional thing i took forever to do.
3. How well do you generally deal with internal deadlines (i.e., those imposed by yourself)?
- once again, depends if cash is a factor...like say getting supplemental insurance for things i'm good at doing...but just general "should do" like cleaning or whatever, i'm a lazy bastard.
4. What's the most important deadline that you've ever missed?
- Well...i missed that deadline to roll over the CD-type IRA that finally was reaching maturity and now i'ts locked in for another 3 years or something like that...otherwise....can't think of anything.
5. What's the most important deadline that you *didn't* miss?
- my green card application (the permanent one removing the conditional sentencing)
- renewing my passport while i was still on a visa (since i'm out of the country, that's not something I can afford to have expire!)
- I dunno...
Time to get in 10 mins of sleeping before my alarm goes off for work.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
PCL
Well well...
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0922.html
Recently my friends and I were having an argument about whether or not a woman could get pregnant from a man's pre-cum... so can she or not???
Thanx 4 the help, Confused...
Dear Confused...,
Yes, a woman can, though the chances are low. Sperm could be in pre-cum, but only after a recent ejaculation, after which some sperm may be left hanging around in the urethra. "Recent" means masturbating earlier and then having sex with a woman, or during the same sexual episode of the recent ejaculation. Urinating in between ejaculations flushes the urethra of stray sperm and makes the way clear for the sperm-less pre-ejaculate fluid. If sperm remains after a prior ejaculation, then it's possible that they can enter the vagina and make their way to meet an egg.
Hey somehow guys have bladders of steel and can go again within say an hour but without peeing in between...
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638353_615777,00.html
My boyfriend likes to rub his penis on the outside of my vagina. Is there any chance that I could get pregnant from his pre-ejaculatory fluid?
While it's not likely, it is possible. When a guy is aroused, a clear alkaline liquid -- that's considered to be sperm-free -- is released to lubricate his urethra (the tube that carries the urine and sperm out of his body), preparing it for the safe passage of sperm when he does in fact ejaculate.
But any sperm left in the urethra from a previous ejaculation can mix with the secretion. And, if his little swimmers make their way into your vagina, you can get pregnant. You should also know that this fluid can transmit STDs, such as HIV and hepatitis. And, other diseases, such as herpes, can be passed simply by rubbing against each other's genitals.
Bottom line: Since exposure to pre-ejaculatory fluid can lead to pregnancy, play it smart and have him use a condom. If you add water-based lube, he'll learn that rubbing against you will still feel fabulous.
Exactly.
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0922.html
Recently my friends and I were having an argument about whether or not a woman could get pregnant from a man's pre-cum... so can she or not???
Thanx 4 the help, Confused...
Dear Confused...,
Yes, a woman can, though the chances are low. Sperm could be in pre-cum, but only after a recent ejaculation, after which some sperm may be left hanging around in the urethra. "Recent" means masturbating earlier and then having sex with a woman, or during the same sexual episode of the recent ejaculation. Urinating in between ejaculations flushes the urethra of stray sperm and makes the way clear for the sperm-less pre-ejaculate fluid. If sperm remains after a prior ejaculation, then it's possible that they can enter the vagina and make their way to meet an egg.
Hey somehow guys have bladders of steel and can go again within say an hour but without peeing in between...
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638353_615777,00.html
My boyfriend likes to rub his penis on the outside of my vagina. Is there any chance that I could get pregnant from his pre-ejaculatory fluid?
While it's not likely, it is possible. When a guy is aroused, a clear alkaline liquid -- that's considered to be sperm-free -- is released to lubricate his urethra (the tube that carries the urine and sperm out of his body), preparing it for the safe passage of sperm when he does in fact ejaculate.
But any sperm left in the urethra from a previous ejaculation can mix with the secretion. And, if his little swimmers make their way into your vagina, you can get pregnant. You should also know that this fluid can transmit STDs, such as HIV and hepatitis. And, other diseases, such as herpes, can be passed simply by rubbing against each other's genitals.
Bottom line: Since exposure to pre-ejaculatory fluid can lead to pregnancy, play it smart and have him use a condom. If you add water-based lube, he'll learn that rubbing against you will still feel fabulous.
Exactly.
Crazy fun girl
Woo hoo, thanks Nicole D for sending this link from Psychology Today:
Out of Sight, On His Mind
By: Jessica Rogers
Women may be stereotyped as the clingy ones in a relationship, but it's men who truly have separation anxiety.
The longer men are away from their partners, the more attractive they find them and the more they want to have sex with them, says Todd Shackelford, Ph.D. Women are not similarly affected by time away from their lovers, his surveys show.
Men aren't necessarily more sensitive, says Shackelford, assistant professor of psychology at Florida Atlantic University. He thinks they're just acting on an ancient survival instinct--the fear that another man might get to their partner, fertilize her egg and pass on his genes first. Prior studies confirm the theory, showing that the longer a man goes without sex, the more sperm he ejaculates when he next has intercourse--nature's way of making up for lost time.
I think we all knew that last part...
Out of Sight, On His Mind
By: Jessica Rogers
Women may be stereotyped as the clingy ones in a relationship, but it's men who truly have separation anxiety.
The longer men are away from their partners, the more attractive they find them and the more they want to have sex with them, says Todd Shackelford, Ph.D. Women are not similarly affected by time away from their lovers, his surveys show.
Men aren't necessarily more sensitive, says Shackelford, assistant professor of psychology at Florida Atlantic University. He thinks they're just acting on an ancient survival instinct--the fear that another man might get to their partner, fertilize her egg and pass on his genes first. Prior studies confirm the theory, showing that the longer a man goes without sex, the more sperm he ejaculates when he next has intercourse--nature's way of making up for lost time.
I think we all knew that last part...
Craigslist
I swear, the first thing I found when I moved to the was Craigslist, and I love it so much I even thanked it in my wedding speech.
This made me die laughing this morning:
They say thin is in but fats where its at. Whoever they are. It's also said that the best kind of woman to marry is a fat tattooed ugly woman. Because you have heat in the winter, shade in the summer and moving pictures all year round. And if she's butt ugly you won't have to worry bout anybody taking her from you. I myself prefer plump woman over skinny women any day of the week. Don't want an obese woman . Just a plump one. They're so cuddly. And if they're homeless it's even better. Because then it don't matter where in the fuck you drop em off at.
This made me die laughing this morning:
They say thin is in but fats where its at. Whoever they are. It's also said that the best kind of woman to marry is a fat tattooed ugly woman. Because you have heat in the winter, shade in the summer and moving pictures all year round. And if she's butt ugly you won't have to worry bout anybody taking her from you. I myself prefer plump woman over skinny women any day of the week. Don't want an obese woman . Just a plump one. They're so cuddly. And if they're homeless it's even better. Because then it don't matter where in the fuck you drop em off at.
Of telephone booths that travel through time
Check it:
Adult Version of 'Doctor Who' To Hit Screens
An adult spin-off of Doctor Who which contains sex and bad language is set to shock fans of the classic family TV show. The BBC has commissioned risque new series Torchwood, an anagram of Doctor Who, which will air late at night. Torchwood is to be written by Doctor Who scriptwriter Russell T. Davies and will star that program's John Barrowman. It follows a team investigating crime and alien activities in contemporary Britain. Davies says, "Torchwood will be a dark, clever, wild, sexy, British crime/sci-fi paranoid thriller cop show with a sense of humor." BBC3 boss Stuart Murphy adds, "The people have affairs with one another. There will be sex and swearing, I assume. I'm quite relaxed about that."
I love LOVE love Dr. Who. I used to watch it every Saturday night, it was one some cheesy public access type channel in Canada. Dr. Who is like the poor man's James Bond (and they've probably had just as many actors playing him).
I doubt i'll ever be able to see it since it's on the BBC, but dang...seriously...Dr. Who rocks.
Adult Version of 'Doctor Who' To Hit Screens
An adult spin-off of Doctor Who which contains sex and bad language is set to shock fans of the classic family TV show. The BBC has commissioned risque new series Torchwood, an anagram of Doctor Who, which will air late at night. Torchwood is to be written by Doctor Who scriptwriter Russell T. Davies and will star that program's John Barrowman. It follows a team investigating crime and alien activities in contemporary Britain. Davies says, "Torchwood will be a dark, clever, wild, sexy, British crime/sci-fi paranoid thriller cop show with a sense of humor." BBC3 boss Stuart Murphy adds, "The people have affairs with one another. There will be sex and swearing, I assume. I'm quite relaxed about that."
I love LOVE love Dr. Who. I used to watch it every Saturday night, it was one some cheesy public access type channel in Canada. Dr. Who is like the poor man's James Bond (and they've probably had just as many actors playing him).
I doubt i'll ever be able to see it since it's on the BBC, but dang...seriously...Dr. Who rocks.
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