...without which, I might never be tardy

From Esquire Magazine
13 Things You Don't Know About Women, by Felicity Huffman (I love her, so that's why I'm writing this)

1. It's not really the shoes. It's how they make our legs look. True, except when you're wearing pants...sometimes the shoes themselves are like a work of art.

2. Women also fantasize during sex.
Ohhh 'cause guys would never dream of that happening to them!

3. And sometimes those fantasies are about shoes.
You know, I've never done that, but dang that would make me hot and heavy too.

4. If you want to see us naked more often, turn up the damn thermostat.
SO TRUE!!! I've got a drawer of frilly little things...but what do i end up wearing? A big sweatshirt, track pants, and socks to sleep! If it were up to me I'd have a thousand blankets on the bed.

5. A big dick is a bore if it's attached to a big dick.
True dat!

6. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty.
Yeah so not pretty, it's not really peeing so much as just expelling fluids everywhere. NOT attractive.

7. We can't hear a word yuo're saying if there are hairs coming out of your nose.

8. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up.
EXACTLY!!!

9. Want sex? Fix something.
Yep, i put this under the "the most romantic thing a guy can do is vacuum" category. I'm telling you, it's all about chopping wood...guys getting back to being all manly and stuff....that's what i'm talkin' about!

10. Women want empathy, not advice.
I actually tend to disagree, because I really do want to find solutions to problems, otherwise i tend to just bottle everything up if i know there's no advice that can be given. So...that's a guideline for any guy out there.

11. It's still a man's world, and some of it you can keep.

12. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every 28 days.
I never thought about it that way. YES indeed that is a valid reason for craziness.

13. Some handy translations for men:
"You're working too hard" = "you're not spending enough time with me"
"No presents for my birthday" = "Surprise me!"
"What are you thinking about" = "do you still love me?"
YES YES YES she nailed it! That IS what we mean, and I didn't even know what I meant when i said it, but YES YES YES that's what we mean!
"Do you want to talk about it" = I want to talk about it"
"Fuck you. I can't stand you" = "Fuck you. I can't stand you"

So I was in a weird mood the past few days which caused me to listen to stupid sappy stuff in my car but now i'm OVER that mood (see the "insides falling out every 28 days" comment, above) I'll make the song of the day the king of all sappy ones and be done with it.
The song of the day is Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins

Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh

When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care

Yep, that's the good stuff when you're in a weird sappy bizarre mood.
And i still want that bracelet. THAT's what I want to fantastize about.

Edited to add: dang why did I click on this on the Blogger website?