I wasn't going to blog this weekend, because clearly I've been doing WAY too much random writing about nothing...but...
mother
effer
So i finally took my car in because I thought the wheel alignment was off (my passengers were in constant fear the car shook so much)...made Kraig wake up super early so I could be the first car in the shop...
ugh
ugh
UGH
There's some sort of wheel separation thing...and even Kraig was like "holy crap your tires on the inside are almost bald"...and my back struts are completely worn (I'm the QUEEN of buying struts...I should open up my own business)...
So what I hoped would cost maybe say $100....$200 bucks...
Is costing me almost $900.
The guy felt pretty bad for me because I was griping about my IAC motor issue from last time, so he's giving me free wheel alignment/balancing/whatever for life...
Will someone PLEASE kill me. Please.
NINE HUNDRED BUCKS.
I'm still recuperating from the property tax payment...I was banking on having no major costs between Sept and January (yes, even with Xmas...)...
That's $900 that could go to that gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS bracelet...
Or new clothes...
Or my ghetto master bathroom...
Or airfare somewhere...far far away....
Or partially towards a new laptop...
Or for the lipo I'm going to need after eating all the chocolate after seeing my credit card bill (Did I mention that I still have to pay for the lawyer who's setting up our trust/living trust stuff?).
Maybe I can convince Kraig to make some deposits at a sperm bank. Do we have one in orange county?
Oh the humanity. I'm having a serious mental breakdown right now.
And with interest rates...arhghghg....my mortgage is somewhere around $2500 a month....damn adjustable home equity line of credit...
End of my griping....I'm going to crawl in bed, wait for the car guy to call me, and pray that magically I wake up rich and fabulous and...well just rich.
(with less wrinkles)
Edited to add: picked up my car, and asked the guy "was it really THAT unsafe?"...he shows me my tires...the insides were so worn from the separation issue, the METAL was showing through...he told me he was amazed my tires didn't blow. What's sad...is that I have had my tires blow before. Good times.
Edited to add later: mother. effer. With today's charge, my credit card bill will be $2595. And i always pay my credit card bill in full. I think the cutoff was a few days ago, so hopefully today's charge will spill into next month's bill. Wait, next month's bill will have the other half of the lawyer's fee. ((BLEEP)). And here I wanted to "splurge" and spend $30 on a box of grey contact lenses. Time to start putting up stuff on ebay again!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
My blog has lots of wrinkles
Just to show how much i've effing aged in the past 2.5 years...a few wedding photos for you. Sigh. I look so YOUNG!
The wrinkles around my mouth are starting to get pretty bad. I look like an effing smoker.
On a completely unrelated note, I have to re-read Lion, Witch & The Wardrobe for the umpteenth time before I go see the movie. It's going to be SO effing awesome. Except for the actress who plays Lucy. WTF.
Getting old blows goats.
The wrinkles around my mouth are starting to get pretty bad. I look like an effing smoker.
On a completely unrelated note, I have to re-read Lion, Witch & The Wardrobe for the umpteenth time before I go see the movie. It's going to be SO effing awesome. Except for the actress who plays Lucy. WTF.
Getting old blows goats.
"Ryan, please don't hit Summer"
Only understood by people who watch the OC...
Everything I wish I knew in highschool, I could have learned from the OC
aka What We Can All Learn From The OC
1. Walk around with coffee. In a cardboard cup, not a mug or a to-go mug. If your highschool doesn't sell coffee, then just go to starbucks each morning and then carry aruond the empty cup all day. That's the ticket to popularity.
2. If you're too much of a p*ssy to fight someone yourself, your buddy from the boondocks (e.g. Chino) will always step in and initiate the first punch for you.
3. Forcing people to hang out with you overnight is no way to make friends. But it'll land you a guy every time.
4. Eating a bagel with shmear every day will make you a bushy eyebrowed happy-go-lucky lawyer from Berkeley too.
5. Every high school should have the skinny, dorky nerd who wears argyle but makes up for it with his wit and sarcasm....and if your highschool has one, then snag him while he's still considered a loser.**
6. If you're a guy, make sure you're skinnier than your girlfriend. Hot rich chicks dig that.
7. Even the most gorgeous girl in school can be hated because she wears sweaters tied around her neck.
8. Want to win a guy who's already got a girlfriend? Get the girlfriend to cheat on her boyfriend. (this works for the opposite sex as well).
9. Even enemy surfers have "surf-offs". Okay well they never did that on the OC. But it was suggested, and I agree.
10. Want to bond with a girl? Lie and tell her that you beat the crap out of someone with a baseball bat, but SHHHH it's a secret and no one knows. She'll be putty in your hand. Especially if she shot someone and can relate.
11. Girls with big teeth are insecure about losing their boyfriends. And they should. Those teeth can do SERIOUS damage. Don't worry...be happy....and file those suckers down.
12. When Seven of Nine starts calling you "Kiki", you know you're in trouble.
13. Don't ever, ever go through a friend's wallet to use her credit card.
Use it to find cash instead.
14. Want to blow a guy's mind away? Dress up like a comic book heroine. Even if it's NOT hallowe'en.
15. Don't ever, ever make out with your adopted-grandfather's girlfriend.
16. Even if you become a lesbian, someone still's gotta take out the trash and pay the rent.
17. In case it was a mystery: sleeping with your daughter's ex boyfriend WILL eff her up in the head. Bad. Especially if she lost her virginity to him.
18. If the aforementioned school nerd is a virgin, cut him some slack for the first time around. Him and Captain Oats will get it right the next time around...and the next....(it helps to wear the comic book heroine costume).
19. If you want to rule your school you don't need to be the most popular kid, you just need to be the one sleeping with the Dean.
20. Water polo guys are evil. And they have CRAZY floppy hair.
21. Having an affair with your coworker (who later leaves to join the cast of 4400) will cause you to be an alcoholic. Especially if you two went to a winery together.
22. If you're going to find a rich sugar daddy who might die of old age, make sure he really IS rich.
23. Stay away from people who look like Seven of Nine. Unless her name is Carrie :P
24. If you ever lose your alcholic drugged up friend in Mexico, just look in an alley. The answer is always in an alley.
The song of the day is Man, I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain...nothing like when your coworkers, your MALE EFFING COWORKERS, put songs in your head....
PS: I STILL WANT THAT BRACELET. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
**So my high school had no hot nerds, but the biggest nerd was Patrick B. Every class I had with him I was CONSTANTLY asking him his grades,b ecause I wanted to beat him and he was the smartest kid in school. Probably the coolest smart nerd ever.
In grade 8, when i first met him, I heard he had had surgery on his penis. But no one would talk to him about it. So i remember on a cross-country ski trip I sat next to him on the bus and flat out asked him if he had surgery on his man-meat. He went into SUPER detail about how they sliced it along the length, did whatever operation, and then sewed it back up.
It was a horrible, horrible penile tale to tell, but I highly respected him for having the balls (ha ha bad pun) to be honest with me about it.
Later on, when we were all applying to universities, he had applied and gotten into Laurentian, which was the most ghetto of them all. I was like "guy" (previous to saying "dude" i used to call people "guy" and "woman") "you can get into McGill, Western, Waterloo...the smart people schools. Why did you pick Laurentian?"
And he said
"Because that's where all the smart people are going. If i go to the dumb people school, then I'll be the smartest one there"...which proved that in the end, he was smarter than any of us could ever imagine.
Last I heard, he became an insane pot smoker.
However his goal in life, as Einstein-level as he was, was to build a log cabin in the woods and live with the wolves. Seriously. It HAD to be with the wolves.
I think I just might hunt him down on the 'net....
Everything I wish I knew in highschool, I could have learned from the OC
aka What We Can All Learn From The OC
1. Walk around with coffee. In a cardboard cup, not a mug or a to-go mug. If your highschool doesn't sell coffee, then just go to starbucks each morning and then carry aruond the empty cup all day. That's the ticket to popularity.
2. If you're too much of a p*ssy to fight someone yourself, your buddy from the boondocks (e.g. Chino) will always step in and initiate the first punch for you.
3. Forcing people to hang out with you overnight is no way to make friends. But it'll land you a guy every time.
4. Eating a bagel with shmear every day will make you a bushy eyebrowed happy-go-lucky lawyer from Berkeley too.
5. Every high school should have the skinny, dorky nerd who wears argyle but makes up for it with his wit and sarcasm....and if your highschool has one, then snag him while he's still considered a loser.**
6. If you're a guy, make sure you're skinnier than your girlfriend. Hot rich chicks dig that.
7. Even the most gorgeous girl in school can be hated because she wears sweaters tied around her neck.
8. Want to win a guy who's already got a girlfriend? Get the girlfriend to cheat on her boyfriend. (this works for the opposite sex as well).
9. Even enemy surfers have "surf-offs". Okay well they never did that on the OC. But it was suggested, and I agree.
10. Want to bond with a girl? Lie and tell her that you beat the crap out of someone with a baseball bat, but SHHHH it's a secret and no one knows. She'll be putty in your hand. Especially if she shot someone and can relate.
11. Girls with big teeth are insecure about losing their boyfriends. And they should. Those teeth can do SERIOUS damage. Don't worry...be happy....and file those suckers down.
12. When Seven of Nine starts calling you "Kiki", you know you're in trouble.
13. Don't ever, ever go through a friend's wallet to use her credit card.
Use it to find cash instead.
14. Want to blow a guy's mind away? Dress up like a comic book heroine. Even if it's NOT hallowe'en.
15. Don't ever, ever make out with your adopted-grandfather's girlfriend.
16. Even if you become a lesbian, someone still's gotta take out the trash and pay the rent.
17. In case it was a mystery: sleeping with your daughter's ex boyfriend WILL eff her up in the head. Bad. Especially if she lost her virginity to him.
18. If the aforementioned school nerd is a virgin, cut him some slack for the first time around. Him and Captain Oats will get it right the next time around...and the next....(it helps to wear the comic book heroine costume).
19. If you want to rule your school you don't need to be the most popular kid, you just need to be the one sleeping with the Dean.
20. Water polo guys are evil. And they have CRAZY floppy hair.
21. Having an affair with your coworker (who later leaves to join the cast of 4400) will cause you to be an alcoholic. Especially if you two went to a winery together.
22. If you're going to find a rich sugar daddy who might die of old age, make sure he really IS rich.
23. Stay away from people who look like Seven of Nine. Unless her name is Carrie :P
24. If you ever lose your alcholic drugged up friend in Mexico, just look in an alley. The answer is always in an alley.
The song of the day is Man, I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain...nothing like when your coworkers, your MALE EFFING COWORKERS, put songs in your head....
PS: I STILL WANT THAT BRACELET. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
**So my high school had no hot nerds, but the biggest nerd was Patrick B. Every class I had with him I was CONSTANTLY asking him his grades,b ecause I wanted to beat him and he was the smartest kid in school. Probably the coolest smart nerd ever.
In grade 8, when i first met him, I heard he had had surgery on his penis. But no one would talk to him about it. So i remember on a cross-country ski trip I sat next to him on the bus and flat out asked him if he had surgery on his man-meat. He went into SUPER detail about how they sliced it along the length, did whatever operation, and then sewed it back up.
It was a horrible, horrible penile tale to tell, but I highly respected him for having the balls (ha ha bad pun) to be honest with me about it.
Later on, when we were all applying to universities, he had applied and gotten into Laurentian, which was the most ghetto of them all. I was like "guy" (previous to saying "dude" i used to call people "guy" and "woman") "you can get into McGill, Western, Waterloo...the smart people schools. Why did you pick Laurentian?"
And he said
"Because that's where all the smart people are going. If i go to the dumb people school, then I'll be the smartest one there"...which proved that in the end, he was smarter than any of us could ever imagine.
Last I heard, he became an insane pot smoker.
However his goal in life, as Einstein-level as he was, was to build a log cabin in the woods and live with the wolves. Seriously. It HAD to be with the wolves.
I think I just might hunt him down on the 'net....
I could be fabulous....
Quick blog...
OMG
Why can't I be cute
and fabulous
and rich
and be better than Paris Hilton
And have cute hair
and cute clothes
like Nicole Richie now?!
OMG
Why can't I be cute
and fabulous
and rich
and be better than Paris Hilton
And have cute hair
and cute clothes
like Nicole Richie now?!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Matter fact I can't wait for your candy rain
How effing awesome is this:
'Terminator' TV series planned
FOX has given the go-ahead to a pilot for a new TV series rooted in the Terminator franchise.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles will track what happened to the character after she went on the run at the end of the second movie. John Connor will also feature.
"She has the weight of the world on her shoulder and she also has to raise a 14-year-old son who may be the salvation of the world," producer James Middleton told Variety.
Although exact details of the plotline have yet to be revealed, Middleton confirmed that the series would have a "connection" to the film franchise but added that it would not affect plans for a fourth big screen outing.
Writer Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds) added: "The last thing I want to do is take a title and exploit it. The show needs to stand on its own while still being respectful of the franchise."
If greenlit, the series would likely air in the 2006-07 season.
The only other thing that would be fabulous would be if Arnie can get off his ass and seriously make T4 like he says he will....
'Terminator' TV series planned
FOX has given the go-ahead to a pilot for a new TV series rooted in the Terminator franchise.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles will track what happened to the character after she went on the run at the end of the second movie. John Connor will also feature.
"She has the weight of the world on her shoulder and she also has to raise a 14-year-old son who may be the salvation of the world," producer James Middleton told Variety.
Although exact details of the plotline have yet to be revealed, Middleton confirmed that the series would have a "connection" to the film franchise but added that it would not affect plans for a fourth big screen outing.
Writer Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds) added: "The last thing I want to do is take a title and exploit it. The show needs to stand on its own while still being respectful of the franchise."
If greenlit, the series would likely air in the 2006-07 season.
The only other thing that would be fabulous would be if Arnie can get off his ass and seriously make T4 like he says he will....
Quick IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi
ME: what
MY_MOM: u are not very friendly, is everything ok?
ME: i'm fine
MY_MOM: hmmm u dont sound good
MY_MOM: are u sure u are ok?
ME: i'm fine, i had someone at my desk
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: u know those pakistani cookpots, they are no good to us with the new stove.... do u want some?
ME: what pots?
MY_MOM: the pots we used for cooking stews
MY_MOM: these are the best pots i ever had, cant get them here, only they are not flat bottomed, so no good now, but good for the other electric stove and a gas stove
ME: sure
MY_MOM: like u dont have any for making stews and meatballs
ME: i have a big stainless steel one, you saw it.
MY_MOM: so whenever we have luggage room we take them down
MY_MOM: not good enough
ME: it worked for me
MY_MOM: stainless steel is good for soups
MY_MOM: they burn the food easily
MY_MOM: plus i like them a bit wider
MY_MOM: a couple of them i take, the nicer ones
MY_MOM: good pots are very expensive here, plus u have to buy the whole set, just because u need a big one
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the nicer ones
MY_MOM: ((my brother)) just said he doesnt want any
MY_MOM: i guess ((my sis in law)) can get always new ones from singapore
ME: ok
MY_MOM: take care, talk to u later
ME: ok
Hey that's kind of a conversation, right?
ME: what
MY_MOM: u are not very friendly, is everything ok?
ME: i'm fine
MY_MOM: hmmm u dont sound good
MY_MOM: are u sure u are ok?
ME: i'm fine, i had someone at my desk
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: u know those pakistani cookpots, they are no good to us with the new stove.... do u want some?
ME: what pots?
MY_MOM: the pots we used for cooking stews
MY_MOM: these are the best pots i ever had, cant get them here, only they are not flat bottomed, so no good now, but good for the other electric stove and a gas stove
ME: sure
MY_MOM: like u dont have any for making stews and meatballs
ME: i have a big stainless steel one, you saw it.
MY_MOM: so whenever we have luggage room we take them down
MY_MOM: not good enough
ME: it worked for me
MY_MOM: stainless steel is good for soups
MY_MOM: they burn the food easily
MY_MOM: plus i like them a bit wider
MY_MOM: a couple of them i take, the nicer ones
MY_MOM: good pots are very expensive here, plus u have to buy the whole set, just because u need a big one
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the nicer ones
MY_MOM: ((my brother)) just said he doesnt want any
MY_MOM: i guess ((my sis in law)) can get always new ones from singapore
ME: ok
MY_MOM: take care, talk to u later
ME: ok
Hey that's kind of a conversation, right?
...without which, I might never be tardy
From Esquire Magazine
13 Things You Don't Know About Women, by Felicity Huffman (I love her, so that's why I'm writing this)
1. It's not really the shoes. It's how they make our legs look. True, except when you're wearing pants...sometimes the shoes themselves are like a work of art.
2. Women also fantasize during sex.
Ohhh 'cause guys would never dream of that happening to them!
3. And sometimes those fantasies are about shoes.
You know, I've never done that, but dang that would make me hot and heavy too.
4. If you want to see us naked more often, turn up the damn thermostat.
SO TRUE!!! I've got a drawer of frilly little things...but what do i end up wearing? A big sweatshirt, track pants, and socks to sleep! If it were up to me I'd have a thousand blankets on the bed.
5. A big dick is a bore if it's attached to a big dick.
True dat!
6. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty.
Yeah so not pretty, it's not really peeing so much as just expelling fluids everywhere. NOT attractive.
7. We can't hear a word yuo're saying if there are hairs coming out of your nose.
8. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up.
EXACTLY!!!
9. Want sex? Fix something.
Yep, i put this under the "the most romantic thing a guy can do is vacuum" category. I'm telling you, it's all about chopping wood...guys getting back to being all manly and stuff....that's what i'm talkin' about!
10. Women want empathy, not advice.
I actually tend to disagree, because I really do want to find solutions to problems, otherwise i tend to just bottle everything up if i know there's no advice that can be given. So...that's a guideline for any guy out there.
11. It's still a man's world, and some of it you can keep.
12. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every 28 days.
I never thought about it that way. YES indeed that is a valid reason for craziness.
13. Some handy translations for men:
"You're working too hard" = "you're not spending enough time with me"
"No presents for my birthday" = "Surprise me!"
"What are you thinking about" = "do you still love me?"
YES YES YES she nailed it! That IS what we mean, and I didn't even know what I meant when i said it, but YES YES YES that's what we mean!
"Do you want to talk about it" = I want to talk about it"
"Fuck you. I can't stand you" = "Fuck you. I can't stand you"
So I was in a weird mood the past few days which caused me to listen to stupid sappy stuff in my car but now i'm OVER that mood (see the "insides falling out every 28 days" comment, above) I'll make the song of the day the king of all sappy ones and be done with it.
The song of the day is Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins
Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh
When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care
Yep, that's the good stuff when you're in a weird sappy bizarre mood.
And i still want that bracelet. THAT's what I want to fantastize about.
Edited to add: dang why did I click on this on the Blogger website?
13 Things You Don't Know About Women, by Felicity Huffman (I love her, so that's why I'm writing this)
1. It's not really the shoes. It's how they make our legs look. True, except when you're wearing pants...sometimes the shoes themselves are like a work of art.
2. Women also fantasize during sex.
Ohhh 'cause guys would never dream of that happening to them!
3. And sometimes those fantasies are about shoes.
You know, I've never done that, but dang that would make me hot and heavy too.
4. If you want to see us naked more often, turn up the damn thermostat.
SO TRUE!!! I've got a drawer of frilly little things...but what do i end up wearing? A big sweatshirt, track pants, and socks to sleep! If it were up to me I'd have a thousand blankets on the bed.
5. A big dick is a bore if it's attached to a big dick.
True dat!
6. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty.
Yeah so not pretty, it's not really peeing so much as just expelling fluids everywhere. NOT attractive.
7. We can't hear a word yuo're saying if there are hairs coming out of your nose.
8. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up.
EXACTLY!!!
9. Want sex? Fix something.
Yep, i put this under the "the most romantic thing a guy can do is vacuum" category. I'm telling you, it's all about chopping wood...guys getting back to being all manly and stuff....that's what i'm talkin' about!
10. Women want empathy, not advice.
I actually tend to disagree, because I really do want to find solutions to problems, otherwise i tend to just bottle everything up if i know there's no advice that can be given. So...that's a guideline for any guy out there.
11. It's still a man's world, and some of it you can keep.
12. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every 28 days.
I never thought about it that way. YES indeed that is a valid reason for craziness.
13. Some handy translations for men:
"You're working too hard" = "you're not spending enough time with me"
"No presents for my birthday" = "Surprise me!"
"What are you thinking about" = "do you still love me?"
YES YES YES she nailed it! That IS what we mean, and I didn't even know what I meant when i said it, but YES YES YES that's what we mean!
"Do you want to talk about it" = I want to talk about it"
"Fuck you. I can't stand you" = "Fuck you. I can't stand you"
So I was in a weird mood the past few days which caused me to listen to stupid sappy stuff in my car but now i'm OVER that mood (see the "insides falling out every 28 days" comment, above) I'll make the song of the day the king of all sappy ones and be done with it.
The song of the day is Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins
Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh
When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care
Yep, that's the good stuff when you're in a weird sappy bizarre mood.
And i still want that bracelet. THAT's what I want to fantastize about.
Edited to add: dang why did I click on this on the Blogger website?
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Quickie Blog...sometimes you just gotta have it quick
Letters to the editor:
I DON'T YELL!!!... and is there a difference if the CPG is Asian? Just wanna know.
Let's review the acronyms briefly:
CFG: Crazy Fun Girl. This is a good thing.
PC:Psycho Chick. Bad thing. BAD THING. Run like mad.
I'm assuming you meant the latter.
Is there a difference? Nope...PC knows no ethnicity, no borders...I dunno, maybe if she's asian she might be a sexy Psycho Chick, but still psycho is psycho and its just a bad scene.
On another note, I thought this was hilarious: Madonna has a MySpace page
And yes it's hers, I got the link from her website.
The song of the day is the song for the Laguna Beach finale commercial, It's Good To Be In Love by Frou Frou
It's good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I'm happy you're in love,
'Cause every colour goes where you do.
(click here to be reminded of the song in case you forgot that wonderful 30 second clip of the commercial...sigh...i'll be so sad when those silly kids grow up!)
Done with the random thought, onto the griping...
1. I hate my exit off the highway...every morning it's a power struggle between the people who want to exit the 5 at Alton vs. the people getting on the highway and trying to get into more lanes...pain in my ass.
2. WTF is wrong with the voting public! ARHGHGHG! I almost beat myself with my own purse while listening to the results on the radio this morning.
3. I can't stand this weather. Yeah, it's like perfect picnic weather. I know. But I don't know what to wear each morning, I have either uber winter clothing or summery crap, and either way I end up spending half my day at work FREEZING or SWEATING BUCKETS...temperature modulation isn't so great.
I think i'm going to buy that Frou Frou CD...it's not my kind of music, although I do dig Enya and it's similar, and I have to go buy that Madonna CD on Tuesday anyway. Now if only I could find my missing OLP and Vanessa Paradis CDs, i'd be set.
I DON'T YELL!!!... and is there a difference if the CPG is Asian? Just wanna know.
Let's review the acronyms briefly:
CFG: Crazy Fun Girl. This is a good thing.
PC:Psycho Chick. Bad thing. BAD THING. Run like mad.
I'm assuming you meant the latter.
Is there a difference? Nope...PC knows no ethnicity, no borders...I dunno, maybe if she's asian she might be a sexy Psycho Chick, but still psycho is psycho and its just a bad scene.
On another note, I thought this was hilarious: Madonna has a MySpace page
And yes it's hers, I got the link from her website.
The song of the day is the song for the Laguna Beach finale commercial, It's Good To Be In Love by Frou Frou
It's good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I'm happy you're in love,
'Cause every colour goes where you do.
(click here to be reminded of the song in case you forgot that wonderful 30 second clip of the commercial...sigh...i'll be so sad when those silly kids grow up!)
Done with the random thought, onto the griping...
1. I hate my exit off the highway...every morning it's a power struggle between the people who want to exit the 5 at Alton vs. the people getting on the highway and trying to get into more lanes...pain in my ass.
2. WTF is wrong with the voting public! ARHGHGHG! I almost beat myself with my own purse while listening to the results on the radio this morning.
3. I can't stand this weather. Yeah, it's like perfect picnic weather. I know. But I don't know what to wear each morning, I have either uber winter clothing or summery crap, and either way I end up spending half my day at work FREEZING or SWEATING BUCKETS...temperature modulation isn't so great.
I think i'm going to buy that Frou Frou CD...it's not my kind of music, although I do dig Enya and it's similar, and I have to go buy that Madonna CD on Tuesday anyway. Now if only I could find my missing OLP and Vanessa Paradis CDs, i'd be set.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Waiting for your call baby night and day
Some news tidbits....
RETURN TO THE ROAD: Madonna may launch a tour in support of her new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which hits stores Nov. 15. The first single, "Hung Up," is heating up the charts and is also being featured in episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY this week.
One week.
One week.
ONE EFFING WEEK.
I've seen her twice in concert, both times I was a little disappointed (I mean, for $100/ticket, I should be!) but this is VERY dance-ish...so she won't sit around playing a stupid effing guitar (Okay, I get it, you learned an intrument. Give the girl a prize. Now put on some cones and dance like a mofo). So I would for SURE go see her again. I love my Madge.
JOCK SHOCKED: Howard Stern receiving a one-day suspension from his morning radio show after he spent much of Monday promoting his move to Sirius Satellite Radio next year. He's due back on air Wednesday.
Yes....YES YES c'mon Howard, keep doing that...because I bought a few Sirius stocks (and i mean, seriously, a FEW...i don't have oodles of cash to blow on stocks when I could buy that gorgeous, gorgeous bracelet) and yesss it went up...thank you Howard!
So after months of discussing the merits of Crazy Fun Girl (which by the way, is even kind of mentioned in the December issue of Glamour, except the girl to the extreme), we do need to mention Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl comes into play after you've been dating for a guy for awhile and you realize you really like him.
I mean, REALLY like him.
This is where you realize that he could possibly leave you, 'cause he's bored with you and the initial 3-month novelty has worn off. So chicks go into extreme psycho mode because they get paranoid. PARANOIA is key here.
Some of the behaviors of Psycho Girl:
- she goes through the guy's wallet in search of other girls' numbers (okay I did this within the first week of being with Kraig, but he moved in right away and always left his wallet around, that's his tough luck for moving in with a chick he barely knew!)
- she suddenly has a fascination with the stupid car he drives...which is psycho if the chick is the type to really not give a crap about cars other than if they get her to work and the A/C functions in summer... (oh many a discussion with Tony over whether a Mustang is a decent car or white trash)
- she listens to his voicemails over and over and over and OVER and over and over and over again, because of course, she's got them saved I suppose in this day and age that would apply to text messages as well...texting wasn't prevalent last time I was single, but I'll just toss that in for benefits sake since some people just don't talk anymore, they text....
- she buys clothes based on whether he'll like her in it. And we're not talking "oh i need a cute outfit for our date"...we're talking looking at clothes she would NOT normallyw ear, colors, whatever, but knowing that it's something HE would like, she buys it knowing that if things don't work out, she'll never wear that top/skirt/outfit ever again. I eventually got rid of the stuff that i bought that i thought kraig would like...i had this one tank top with an anime print on it...the top was cute but it was GREEN, which made me look like i was going to die, but i wanted him SOOO badly to think that i was some hip anime chick wtf....
- She thinks about him on an obsession level. We're talking, keeping Friday/Sat/Sun free just in CASE he calls and says he's free. It's the stuff that Calvin Klein bottles and sells at the perfume counter at Macy's.don't get me started, I could have started a frickin' CLOTHING line when i got to this point....
- She desperately wants to have "the talk" and probably ends up caving, and there's a good chance the guy behaves like a deer in headlights which only fuels the Psycho Chick behavior even more.
- basically Psycho Chick is pretty much a different person from the original girl the guy started dating in the first place
Now keep in mind these are generalizations and yadda yadda, i'm just saying that if you acknowledge the existence/theory of Crazy Fun Girl, then you have to acknowledge Psycho Chick as well. The key is to overcome this, to keep it bottled inside and let her out with your girlfriends, because once you can get past Psycho Chick mode then it's smoooooth sailing into Coupledom....
The song of the day, because it's been in my head, is All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard (yes, again)
I don’t know how to leave you
And I don’t know how to stay
I’ve got things that I must tell you
That I don’t know how to say
Damn, i really want that effing bracelet.
RETURN TO THE ROAD: Madonna may launch a tour in support of her new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which hits stores Nov. 15. The first single, "Hung Up," is heating up the charts and is also being featured in episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY this week.
One week.
One week.
ONE EFFING WEEK.
I've seen her twice in concert, both times I was a little disappointed (I mean, for $100/ticket, I should be!) but this is VERY dance-ish...so she won't sit around playing a stupid effing guitar (Okay, I get it, you learned an intrument. Give the girl a prize. Now put on some cones and dance like a mofo). So I would for SURE go see her again. I love my Madge.
JOCK SHOCKED: Howard Stern receiving a one-day suspension from his morning radio show after he spent much of Monday promoting his move to Sirius Satellite Radio next year. He's due back on air Wednesday.
Yes....YES YES c'mon Howard, keep doing that...because I bought a few Sirius stocks (and i mean, seriously, a FEW...i don't have oodles of cash to blow on stocks when I could buy that gorgeous, gorgeous bracelet) and yesss it went up...thank you Howard!
So after months of discussing the merits of Crazy Fun Girl (which by the way, is even kind of mentioned in the December issue of Glamour, except the girl to the extreme), we do need to mention Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl comes into play after you've been dating for a guy for awhile and you realize you really like him.
I mean, REALLY like him.
This is where you realize that he could possibly leave you, 'cause he's bored with you and the initial 3-month novelty has worn off. So chicks go into extreme psycho mode because they get paranoid. PARANOIA is key here.
Some of the behaviors of Psycho Girl:
- she goes through the guy's wallet in search of other girls' numbers (okay I did this within the first week of being with Kraig, but he moved in right away and always left his wallet around, that's his tough luck for moving in with a chick he barely knew!)
- she suddenly has a fascination with the stupid car he drives...which is psycho if the chick is the type to really not give a crap about cars other than if they get her to work and the A/C functions in summer... (oh many a discussion with Tony over whether a Mustang is a decent car or white trash)
- she listens to his voicemails over and over and over and OVER and over and over and over again, because of course, she's got them saved I suppose in this day and age that would apply to text messages as well...texting wasn't prevalent last time I was single, but I'll just toss that in for benefits sake since some people just don't talk anymore, they text....
- she buys clothes based on whether he'll like her in it. And we're not talking "oh i need a cute outfit for our date"...we're talking looking at clothes she would NOT normallyw ear, colors, whatever, but knowing that it's something HE would like, she buys it knowing that if things don't work out, she'll never wear that top/skirt/outfit ever again. I eventually got rid of the stuff that i bought that i thought kraig would like...i had this one tank top with an anime print on it...the top was cute but it was GREEN, which made me look like i was going to die, but i wanted him SOOO badly to think that i was some hip anime chick wtf....
- She thinks about him on an obsession level. We're talking, keeping Friday/Sat/Sun free just in CASE he calls and says he's free. It's the stuff that Calvin Klein bottles and sells at the perfume counter at Macy's.don't get me started, I could have started a frickin' CLOTHING line when i got to this point....
- She desperately wants to have "the talk" and probably ends up caving, and there's a good chance the guy behaves like a deer in headlights which only fuels the Psycho Chick behavior even more.
- basically Psycho Chick is pretty much a different person from the original girl the guy started dating in the first place
Now keep in mind these are generalizations and yadda yadda, i'm just saying that if you acknowledge the existence/theory of Crazy Fun Girl, then you have to acknowledge Psycho Chick as well. The key is to overcome this, to keep it bottled inside and let her out with your girlfriends, because once you can get past Psycho Chick mode then it's smoooooth sailing into Coupledom....
The song of the day, because it's been in my head, is All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard (yes, again)
I don’t know how to leave you
And I don’t know how to stay
I’ve got things that I must tell you
That I don’t know how to say
Damn, i really want that effing bracelet.
IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi
MY_MOM: whats up
MY_MOM: how are the cats and kraig?
ME: fine
MY_MOM: not much to say
ME: nope
MY_MOM: whats new
ME: Nothing. My car needs to be fixed...that's pretty much it.
MY_MOM: car repair, i hate that
ME: yup. the wheel alignment is off. Every time I go in, it costs me $2000 for something.
MY_MOM: wheel alignment shouldnt be that much?
ME: Yeah but soemthing always ends up being needed to be fixed.
MY_MOM: we are lucky, dad know's a pakistani car mechanic who repairs our cars at home and is much cheaper
MY_MOM: thats how we can afford keeping 2 old cars
MY_MOM: but our cars dont make that much trouble to be honest
ME: ok
MY_MOM: u have to be careful, often those car mechanics tell u something needs fixed and it doesnt
ME: ok
MY_MOM: i dont trust those car mechanics, can. tire is notorious
ME: yup
MY_MOM: so make sure u got one u can trust?
ME: ok
MY_MOM: can u trust your car mechanic?
ME: i think so
MY_MOM: same with kraigs car, its fairly new, he should go to the dealer and complain
MY_MOM: often if the warranty has run out, they might be able to fix it and put it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: happened to trudi's son. he bought the same car as kraig, engine problem or something and they somehow fixed it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: if u buy a new car, there's a complaint, go right to the boss
MY_MOM: i had to do that often with the toyota
ME: ok
MY_MOM: always go right to the top with anything, dont even bother with the manager
MY_MOM: i do that now all the time
MY_MOM: and it works
ME: ok
MY_MOM: like sales people and managers always try to talk u out of something
ME: ok
MY_MOM: since i worked in walmart, i know, complain right at the topME: ok
NOte: my mom worked at Woolco, which later got bought out by Walmart...in case anyone cares
MY_MOM: hehe ok
MY_MOM: c u later, dont work to hard
ME: ok
MY_MOM: whats up
MY_MOM: how are the cats and kraig?
ME: fine
MY_MOM: not much to say
ME: nope
MY_MOM: whats new
ME: Nothing. My car needs to be fixed...that's pretty much it.
MY_MOM: car repair, i hate that
ME: yup. the wheel alignment is off. Every time I go in, it costs me $2000 for something.
MY_MOM: wheel alignment shouldnt be that much?
ME: Yeah but soemthing always ends up being needed to be fixed.
MY_MOM: we are lucky, dad know's a pakistani car mechanic who repairs our cars at home and is much cheaper
MY_MOM: thats how we can afford keeping 2 old cars
MY_MOM: but our cars dont make that much trouble to be honest
ME: ok
MY_MOM: u have to be careful, often those car mechanics tell u something needs fixed and it doesnt
ME: ok
MY_MOM: i dont trust those car mechanics, can. tire is notorious
ME: yup
MY_MOM: so make sure u got one u can trust?
ME: ok
MY_MOM: can u trust your car mechanic?
ME: i think so
MY_MOM: same with kraigs car, its fairly new, he should go to the dealer and complain
MY_MOM: often if the warranty has run out, they might be able to fix it and put it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: happened to trudi's son. he bought the same car as kraig, engine problem or something and they somehow fixed it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: if u buy a new car, there's a complaint, go right to the boss
MY_MOM: i had to do that often with the toyota
ME: ok
MY_MOM: always go right to the top with anything, dont even bother with the manager
MY_MOM: i do that now all the time
MY_MOM: and it works
ME: ok
MY_MOM: like sales people and managers always try to talk u out of something
ME: ok
MY_MOM: since i worked in walmart, i know, complain right at the topME: ok
NOte: my mom worked at Woolco, which later got bought out by Walmart...in case anyone cares
MY_MOM: hehe ok
MY_MOM: c u later, dont work to hard
ME: ok
Monday, November 07, 2005
Ungruent Vessels
Give the girl a prize, she finally got off her ass and tweaked the image links so that the left menu isn't all jacked up.
My brain is too effed up for words today...serious exhaustion...i'm missing the KEY papers i need for my ring insurance, wtf i kept everything in this big bag thing and of course the appraisal, plus the signed ins. papers, are the two things i can't find. WTF. I'm flipping out.
I need to take this week to get re-organized, i'm the QUEEN of organization and I've just been a flippin' mess lately.
So that's my random thought and gripe. I'm griping about my effing BRAIN. Suck it.
The song for today is Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have ....
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
In other quick news...
Friday: dinner was fun, and uh good to know that little boys call stuff "those ball thingies" with swimmers and divers...poor Logan is worried it's going to hurt when those swimmers and divers come out!
Saturday: got up insanely early for that King Tut thing...i'll be honest with you, after like 10 minutes it was sensory overload...once you've seen one fancy egyption container used to hold a liver, you've seen them all! Plus I also realized that kids are way smarter than adults. Like take Nicole D's nephew, Jake...he was all "oh is that Isis?" and she's like "no, but good guess"...i would have either said "yeah...YEAH that's the ticket..." or "No, it's captain crunch!"...at least kids are like sponges when it comes to learning.
Went for lunch , went to the gym, got ready, went out with Nicole and John...there was this CRAZY LOUD wedding reception going on which was a crack up because the music was so horrible...i can't begin to explain how horrible...and it just got worse and worse...
Sunday: woke up at an ungodly hour to meet up with Carrie and volunteer...karma points badly needed. Unfortuantely being that sleep deprived doesn't help when you have to go to Walmart and Target, i have no idea what i bought but i'm sure i need to return whatever it is. Had some of the girls over later for good ol' DH...
Which brings us to some TV summaries...
My Fair Brady Okay i don't know WHY i'm so effing emotional, but when Chris proposed to her, i actually got all teary eyed...NO ONE should get teary eyed at that show! But it was beautiful, and you could tell she loved him SO MUCH and her heart was breaking when she thought he was breaking up with her...fabulous fabulous stuff. Good job VH1...fine holiday faire.
OC Stefanie, if you haven't watched it yet, skip this paragraph...i had recorded it but I didn't get to see it until last night...wtf like we didn't know Ryan would come back...but the previous for NEXT week look fantastic. Marissa is SUCH a whore...just pick a guy and stick with him, geezus.
Simpsons Holiday Special I had actually seen the beginning at Comic Con during the Simpsons panel, so iw as like "wtf didn't I see this? Ohhh yeahhh...."...nothing really to say except that i thought comic book guy's Nerds Do It Rarely tshirt was effing hilarious, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Well okay it was probably earlier that day when I caught a clip of Chris Rock on tv.
Desperate Housewives: will they start showing Gabby's pregnancy already?! As if her pseudo-hot lawyer would sweep her away when she's PREGNANT...that's the number one guy repellent. When i grow up, I want to be Lynette....and I love that creepy virgin pharmacy guy played emotional blackmail to Bree. As for Susan...my GOD that's an annoying character. They should knock her off and put Edie in her place.
And we've all agreed...if any of us throw our wedding bands in our husband's grave, we are SO jumping in after it!
Other random, random thoughts:
1. All i want for Festivus (aka Chrisma-Hana-Kwanzaa-Kah) is a new vacuum. I'm not kidding. I was excited because I bought a new ironing board yesterday. But a new vacuum...wow. I love my old one, it's a super fancy Kenmore that I got for cheap because they were out of the cheap models so they gave me the expensive one for the cheap price. But i think it's just showing it's age, and I want to splurge on a Dyson one (not because of the dude's fancy accent...but it got the best rating in Consumer's Reports, although it wasn't a Best Buy because of it's price).
2. If i don't go to the gym Today, Tomorrow, and Wednesday, I owe the first person who asks me the next morning $100.
3. Yes i know i need to do a spell check and typo fix on this blog entry...suck it.
4. I want poutine like a mothereffer. I'll settle for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Neither of which I can get here.
5. I need to find that jewelry insurance crap, my insurance is expiring soon
6. I really, really, REALLY want that bracelet. But people who want $600 vacuums don't get to beg for $2000 bracelets.
7. I don't have an item seven. I typed it in, and then sat here, and then just decided to wrap up this effing blog and i'm in a cranky mood and i need a NAP.
Edited to add: YESSSS found the jewelry insurance paperwork. SWEET. The day is getting better already. Now if only I could figure out how to sleep with my eyes open, I'd be set.
My brain is too effed up for words today...serious exhaustion...i'm missing the KEY papers i need for my ring insurance, wtf i kept everything in this big bag thing and of course the appraisal, plus the signed ins. papers, are the two things i can't find. WTF. I'm flipping out.
I need to take this week to get re-organized, i'm the QUEEN of organization and I've just been a flippin' mess lately.
So that's my random thought and gripe. I'm griping about my effing BRAIN. Suck it.
The song for today is Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have ....
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
In other quick news...
Friday: dinner was fun, and uh good to know that little boys call stuff "those ball thingies" with swimmers and divers...poor Logan is worried it's going to hurt when those swimmers and divers come out!
Saturday: got up insanely early for that King Tut thing...i'll be honest with you, after like 10 minutes it was sensory overload...once you've seen one fancy egyption container used to hold a liver, you've seen them all! Plus I also realized that kids are way smarter than adults. Like take Nicole D's nephew, Jake...he was all "oh is that Isis?" and she's like "no, but good guess"...i would have either said "yeah...YEAH that's the ticket..." or "No, it's captain crunch!"...at least kids are like sponges when it comes to learning.
Went for lunch , went to the gym, got ready, went out with Nicole and John...there was this CRAZY LOUD wedding reception going on which was a crack up because the music was so horrible...i can't begin to explain how horrible...and it just got worse and worse...
Sunday: woke up at an ungodly hour to meet up with Carrie and volunteer...karma points badly needed. Unfortuantely being that sleep deprived doesn't help when you have to go to Walmart and Target, i have no idea what i bought but i'm sure i need to return whatever it is. Had some of the girls over later for good ol' DH...
Which brings us to some TV summaries...
My Fair Brady Okay i don't know WHY i'm so effing emotional, but when Chris proposed to her, i actually got all teary eyed...NO ONE should get teary eyed at that show! But it was beautiful, and you could tell she loved him SO MUCH and her heart was breaking when she thought he was breaking up with her...fabulous fabulous stuff. Good job VH1...fine holiday faire.
OC Stefanie, if you haven't watched it yet, skip this paragraph...i had recorded it but I didn't get to see it until last night...wtf like we didn't know Ryan would come back...but the previous for NEXT week look fantastic. Marissa is SUCH a whore...just pick a guy and stick with him, geezus.
Simpsons Holiday Special I had actually seen the beginning at Comic Con during the Simpsons panel, so iw as like "wtf didn't I see this? Ohhh yeahhh...."...nothing really to say except that i thought comic book guy's Nerds Do It Rarely tshirt was effing hilarious, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Well okay it was probably earlier that day when I caught a clip of Chris Rock on tv.
Desperate Housewives: will they start showing Gabby's pregnancy already?! As if her pseudo-hot lawyer would sweep her away when she's PREGNANT...that's the number one guy repellent. When i grow up, I want to be Lynette....and I love that creepy virgin pharmacy guy played emotional blackmail to Bree. As for Susan...my GOD that's an annoying character. They should knock her off and put Edie in her place.
And we've all agreed...if any of us throw our wedding bands in our husband's grave, we are SO jumping in after it!
Other random, random thoughts:
1. All i want for Festivus (aka Chrisma-Hana-Kwanzaa-Kah) is a new vacuum. I'm not kidding. I was excited because I bought a new ironing board yesterday. But a new vacuum...wow. I love my old one, it's a super fancy Kenmore that I got for cheap because they were out of the cheap models so they gave me the expensive one for the cheap price. But i think it's just showing it's age, and I want to splurge on a Dyson one (not because of the dude's fancy accent...but it got the best rating in Consumer's Reports, although it wasn't a Best Buy because of it's price).
2. If i don't go to the gym Today, Tomorrow, and Wednesday, I owe the first person who asks me the next morning $100.
3. Yes i know i need to do a spell check and typo fix on this blog entry...suck it.
4. I want poutine like a mothereffer. I'll settle for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Neither of which I can get here.
5. I need to find that jewelry insurance crap, my insurance is expiring soon
6. I really, really, REALLY want that bracelet. But people who want $600 vacuums don't get to beg for $2000 bracelets.
7. I don't have an item seven. I typed it in, and then sat here, and then just decided to wrap up this effing blog and i'm in a cranky mood and i need a NAP.
Edited to add: YESSSS found the jewelry insurance paperwork. SWEET. The day is getting better already. Now if only I could figure out how to sleep with my eyes open, I'd be set.
Friday, November 04, 2005
I'll show you my blog if you show me yours
I heard a song last night that I wanted as the song of the day, and then I totally forgot what it was so...no song of the day. Suck it.
Since this is random throughts and gripes, i thought I'd spend today with some SERIOUS random thoughts and perhaps little griping.
Friday Five
1. What are you most self-conscious about?
Ugh, everything! My gut, my face, my ability to stutter when I'm even mildly nervous, my Canadian accent....
2. What's your favourite word?
Just a single word? Hmm...EDUMACATION. Expressions? SUCK IT...WTF...MOTHER EFFER....
3. What's your biggest fear?
Of not having enough money, of being homeless
4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?
When i started working in OC, our contractor told me that he knew an old coworker of mine...and that he got a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! He even had pics. That was pretty random. Especially since my old coworker's name was Dick (Richard)...
5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?
The anti-revolution society. I'm a creature of habit. Don't change stuff on me.
1. Do you have a dream you will always strive to achieve until your dying day?
Nope, i'm unambitious like that. Well, I'm dying to visit Italy...but that's not something you strive for, but that's something I think i'll always regret not doing.
2. Do you believe in fate or free will, or something else?
Can't you believe in both?
3. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?Tragic accident.
4. Favourite childhood sweets/candy?
Coffee Crisp...Mr. Big....Sweet Tarts....those candy ring things. Everything tart.
5. Favourite cocktail (alcoholic or virgin) and it's ingredients?
Virgin: shirley temple. Alcoholic....can't think of anything although i'm craving a Blue Lagoon (lemonade, blue curacao and no idea what else).
Some seriously random, random thoughts:
- I love my grey plaid Lion King boxer shorts. This is probably the number one cause for argument in my marriage. Kraig HATES those boxers. I bought them when Lion King was still in the theaters. They're sooo not attractive, but when I come home from work I RUN straight upstairs to throw them on...Why don't guys get it, that 99% of the time we're pinched and prodded and wearing uncomfy shoes and underwire and heavy dangly hoop earrings (WWJ.Lo.D!!), at the end of the day you want to peel off everything and go with the Lion King grey ugly boxers.
Mmm mmm good.
- I'm really disturbed that no one has invented teleportation yet. I'm blown away with some of the technology we DO have...Cell phones, cars who's radios get louder when you accelerate, Tamagotchi....you'd think someone would put down their PSP and invent something that I need so badly. I don't mind flying but I do hate the act of getting to the airport...I would even settle for just teleporting to the airport...is that too much to ask?!
- I can't get that gorgeous, gorgeous diamond bracelet out of my mind. It's so gorgeous. I mean, really, if I looked in the mirror and saw that as my reflection, i'd be happy.
- I love the look of the colored VAIOs. I have an allegiance with HP but I had a VAIO for one of my jobs and it was the most fabulous laptop, I was retarded for not having bought it from the company after they folded. I think i'd get the blue or the green one. I know, that makes me sound like a chick to want a laptop for it's color (hello colored iBook) but I've used that laptop before so I'm not a dumb computer illiterate chick (although i'm willing to admit i know jack about hardware, i know more about software sheeat) .
- this is one boring, boring blog.
- I can't get Jay Z out of my head.
- I finally have my Optometrist appointment today...my eyes are killing me. I've been wearing the same contacts for 3 weeks and my right eye has a lens that's prescribed for my left eye...My eyes are so effed up right now! And yes, I'll finally splurge on new glasses since I guess mine were a little crazy outdated (hmmmm I got them back in...1996? 1997?)
Note to self: for all the talk I do about Crazy Fun Girl (and WWJD!)...I'm gonna write a blog in the near future about Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl is what you get after CFG goes away...the one that leaves the guy going "what?! Who?! Where's that cool sexy chick I was dating?" but he's already hooked on you while you're secretly going through his wallet every chance you get to make sure there's no other chick's phone number in there.
Yeah. Psycho Girl. Life's a bitch when you're a guy.
Since this is random throughts and gripes, i thought I'd spend today with some SERIOUS random thoughts and perhaps little griping.
Friday Five
1. What are you most self-conscious about?
Ugh, everything! My gut, my face, my ability to stutter when I'm even mildly nervous, my Canadian accent....
2. What's your favourite word?
Just a single word? Hmm...EDUMACATION. Expressions? SUCK IT...WTF...MOTHER EFFER....
3. What's your biggest fear?
Of not having enough money, of being homeless
4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?
When i started working in OC, our contractor told me that he knew an old coworker of mine...and that he got a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! He even had pics. That was pretty random. Especially since my old coworker's name was Dick (Richard)...
5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?
The anti-revolution society. I'm a creature of habit. Don't change stuff on me.
1. Do you have a dream you will always strive to achieve until your dying day?
Nope, i'm unambitious like that. Well, I'm dying to visit Italy...but that's not something you strive for, but that's something I think i'll always regret not doing.
2. Do you believe in fate or free will, or something else?
Can't you believe in both?
3. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?Tragic accident.
4. Favourite childhood sweets/candy?
Coffee Crisp...Mr. Big....Sweet Tarts....those candy ring things. Everything tart.
5. Favourite cocktail (alcoholic or virgin) and it's ingredients?
Virgin: shirley temple. Alcoholic....can't think of anything although i'm craving a Blue Lagoon (lemonade, blue curacao and no idea what else).
Some seriously random, random thoughts:
- I love my grey plaid Lion King boxer shorts. This is probably the number one cause for argument in my marriage. Kraig HATES those boxers. I bought them when Lion King was still in the theaters. They're sooo not attractive, but when I come home from work I RUN straight upstairs to throw them on...Why don't guys get it, that 99% of the time we're pinched and prodded and wearing uncomfy shoes and underwire and heavy dangly hoop earrings (WWJ.Lo.D!!), at the end of the day you want to peel off everything and go with the Lion King grey ugly boxers.
Mmm mmm good.
- I'm really disturbed that no one has invented teleportation yet. I'm blown away with some of the technology we DO have...Cell phones, cars who's radios get louder when you accelerate, Tamagotchi....you'd think someone would put down their PSP and invent something that I need so badly. I don't mind flying but I do hate the act of getting to the airport...I would even settle for just teleporting to the airport...is that too much to ask?!
- I can't get that gorgeous, gorgeous diamond bracelet out of my mind. It's so gorgeous. I mean, really, if I looked in the mirror and saw that as my reflection, i'd be happy.
- I love the look of the colored VAIOs. I have an allegiance with HP but I had a VAIO for one of my jobs and it was the most fabulous laptop, I was retarded for not having bought it from the company after they folded. I think i'd get the blue or the green one. I know, that makes me sound like a chick to want a laptop for it's color (hello colored iBook) but I've used that laptop before so I'm not a dumb computer illiterate chick (although i'm willing to admit i know jack about hardware, i know more about software sheeat) .
- this is one boring, boring blog.
- I can't get Jay Z out of my head.
- I finally have my Optometrist appointment today...my eyes are killing me. I've been wearing the same contacts for 3 weeks and my right eye has a lens that's prescribed for my left eye...My eyes are so effed up right now! And yes, I'll finally splurge on new glasses since I guess mine were a little crazy outdated (hmmmm I got them back in...1996? 1997?)
Note to self: for all the talk I do about Crazy Fun Girl (and WWJD!)...I'm gonna write a blog in the near future about Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl is what you get after CFG goes away...the one that leaves the guy going "what?! Who?! Where's that cool sexy chick I was dating?" but he's already hooked on you while you're secretly going through his wallet every chance you get to make sure there's no other chick's phone number in there.
Yeah. Psycho Girl. Life's a bitch when you're a guy.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Black, diamonds, and elegance
Random, random thoughts....
I love this tshirt, but i would only get it if i knew the small was well-fitted (otherwise i look all weird in guyish shirts):
And of course:
HA i wish I could give an old coworker this shirt:
He was journalism major but soemhow went straight from that to being the senior Tech Writer (Tony, you know who i'm talking about!), he didn't know ANYTHING about computers...and he had this thing that he was going to MEMERIZE binary numbers.
I was like "dude, there's a system, blah blah" like showing him how you calculate it by hand for a big number, but he really just wanted to memerize like 0 to 100 in binary notation which is so retarded, there's only 2 characters, if you need it for a user guide or something (which he didn't) then just convert the number as it comes up...
Whatever.
I didn't watch America's Next Top Model last night, I didn't watch Lost (I have no idea if they're still in reruns)...
So now, onto the actual subjects at hand: Black, Diamonds, and Elegance.
I never understood why people can say "black" is their favorite color. It's like, white is no color and black is ALL the colors...those aren't even options as far as i'm concerned (it's not like it's on the color spectrum thingy....)..
That being said, i think I officially think black is my new favorite color.
It used to be blood red...then purple (it's the color of royalty!), and then i realized in my later 20s that I look good in baby blue and baby pink (well...not good...just not as bad as normal)...but now, black is where's it baby.
The thing with black is that you can't really wear it when you're a baby of course...and then as a teen if you wear all black you look super goth, not just for the color but also because if your mom was like mine she got fed up of your laundry piling up and she'd do it for you which meant hot water to everything with crappy detergent (I used to hand wash my stuff in Woolite) and then it would get nasty faded to grey....
So at least now I can pull off black and appreciate that it's an all-over body slimmer....and you can dress like CRAP but if it's black, people think you're dressing up.
/black stuff.
As for diamonds....
I went to the jeweler (Petra's in the Kaleidoscope in case anyone cares) a few times this week because I had to get my ring appraisal re-done in order for my insurance renewal. I went in with my GIA paperwork (my diamond is laser-inscribed with a VIN-like number, so my diamond can be traced anywhere) and the old appraisal.
The dude spent an HOUR looking for the GIA inscription.
He used THREE different tools.
I was in hysterics. I mean, the lump in my throat was insane. I didn't know what to do...what if they put the wrong diamond in? Do i sue the old jewelry store that Kraig bought the ring from? Is there a statue of limitations? Would they think I secretly changed the stones?
I felt like the past 2.5 years of my marriage was a sham, like imagine if you found out that your marriage license was invalid and you were really not married...you'd feel like were so deceived. And here I thought I knew my diamond so well.
Anyway eventually he found the final digit, the other numbers were hidden under a prong. When i went yesterday to drop off my "real" engagement ring (Kraig proposed to me with his mother's ring but i never wear it because I never insured it) for appraisal, I was delighted to find out that my stone has gone up in value, which brings the overall value up by $900...that at least compensated for the stress I felt the day before!
My point is not about my rings...and the emotional drama...but that the whole time I had been waiting, I kept eyeing this bracelet.
It's gorgeous.
It's price tag said $4000.
It's gorgeous.
People like me don't get nice things like that...not AS nice as that.
The jeweler then tells me it's $2000.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to sell a kidney to buy that bracelet. I could CRY, i want that bracelet so bad. But i just can't justify it, heck we need a grownup bedroom set, we need to redo the master bathroom, i need to get a ton of work done on my car....
But it's beautiful. Taken with my cameraphone (and yes, i know i look like i've got man-wrists in this picture, bite me):
Sigh. Well at least i'll always have my $15 Aldo faux diamond ring.
/diamond rant
Elegance...
That's my new year's resolution.
I want to be a grownup
I want to be elegant
And i want to be refined.
Okay well refined is pushing it, but elegant. I want to stop walking into rooms and tripping over myself.
I want to stop dropping things.
I want to stop fidgeting when i'm nervous (how many pieces of paper can someone shred at dinner?)
I want to stop looking like a little kid in a room full of adults.
SOOOO...that's my resolution.
Refinery.
Much like sugar.
/elegance rant
The song for the day is I remember you by Skid Row
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
(It was on the radio last night, i LOVE Skid Row! ANd yeah, if that makes me white trash...suck it).
In other news, I'm disgruntled, so I better just shut up before I get myself in trouble.
I love this tshirt, but i would only get it if i knew the small was well-fitted (otherwise i look all weird in guyish shirts):
And of course:
HA i wish I could give an old coworker this shirt:
He was journalism major but soemhow went straight from that to being the senior Tech Writer (Tony, you know who i'm talking about!), he didn't know ANYTHING about computers...and he had this thing that he was going to MEMERIZE binary numbers.
I was like "dude, there's a system, blah blah" like showing him how you calculate it by hand for a big number, but he really just wanted to memerize like 0 to 100 in binary notation which is so retarded, there's only 2 characters, if you need it for a user guide or something (which he didn't) then just convert the number as it comes up...
Whatever.
I didn't watch America's Next Top Model last night, I didn't watch Lost (I have no idea if they're still in reruns)...
So now, onto the actual subjects at hand: Black, Diamonds, and Elegance.
I never understood why people can say "black" is their favorite color. It's like, white is no color and black is ALL the colors...those aren't even options as far as i'm concerned (it's not like it's on the color spectrum thingy....)..
That being said, i think I officially think black is my new favorite color.
It used to be blood red...then purple (it's the color of royalty!), and then i realized in my later 20s that I look good in baby blue and baby pink (well...not good...just not as bad as normal)...but now, black is where's it baby.
The thing with black is that you can't really wear it when you're a baby of course...and then as a teen if you wear all black you look super goth, not just for the color but also because if your mom was like mine she got fed up of your laundry piling up and she'd do it for you which meant hot water to everything with crappy detergent (I used to hand wash my stuff in Woolite) and then it would get nasty faded to grey....
So at least now I can pull off black and appreciate that it's an all-over body slimmer....and you can dress like CRAP but if it's black, people think you're dressing up.
/black stuff.
As for diamonds....
I went to the jeweler (Petra's in the Kaleidoscope in case anyone cares) a few times this week because I had to get my ring appraisal re-done in order for my insurance renewal. I went in with my GIA paperwork (my diamond is laser-inscribed with a VIN-like number, so my diamond can be traced anywhere) and the old appraisal.
The dude spent an HOUR looking for the GIA inscription.
He used THREE different tools.
I was in hysterics. I mean, the lump in my throat was insane. I didn't know what to do...what if they put the wrong diamond in? Do i sue the old jewelry store that Kraig bought the ring from? Is there a statue of limitations? Would they think I secretly changed the stones?
I felt like the past 2.5 years of my marriage was a sham, like imagine if you found out that your marriage license was invalid and you were really not married...you'd feel like were so deceived. And here I thought I knew my diamond so well.
Anyway eventually he found the final digit, the other numbers were hidden under a prong. When i went yesterday to drop off my "real" engagement ring (Kraig proposed to me with his mother's ring but i never wear it because I never insured it) for appraisal, I was delighted to find out that my stone has gone up in value, which brings the overall value up by $900...that at least compensated for the stress I felt the day before!
My point is not about my rings...and the emotional drama...but that the whole time I had been waiting, I kept eyeing this bracelet.
It's gorgeous.
It's price tag said $4000.
It's gorgeous.
People like me don't get nice things like that...not AS nice as that.
The jeweler then tells me it's $2000.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to sell a kidney to buy that bracelet. I could CRY, i want that bracelet so bad. But i just can't justify it, heck we need a grownup bedroom set, we need to redo the master bathroom, i need to get a ton of work done on my car....
But it's beautiful. Taken with my cameraphone (and yes, i know i look like i've got man-wrists in this picture, bite me):
Sigh. Well at least i'll always have my $15 Aldo faux diamond ring.
/diamond rant
Elegance...
That's my new year's resolution.
I want to be a grownup
I want to be elegant
And i want to be refined.
Okay well refined is pushing it, but elegant. I want to stop walking into rooms and tripping over myself.
I want to stop dropping things.
I want to stop fidgeting when i'm nervous (how many pieces of paper can someone shred at dinner?)
I want to stop looking like a little kid in a room full of adults.
SOOOO...that's my resolution.
Refinery.
Much like sugar.
/elegance rant
The song for the day is I remember you by Skid Row
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
(It was on the radio last night, i LOVE Skid Row! ANd yeah, if that makes me white trash...suck it).
In other news, I'm disgruntled, so I better just shut up before I get myself in trouble.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Anticipation is killing me
If you figure this day is over
14 days till...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The new Madonna album...
There's only so often I can listen to it off her website (at least it's better quality than all the video downloads i've got)...
I fully intend on being a big loser the night i get it by popping it in my CD player and dancing around my house by myself...well and the cats...
OMG this song is so effing fabulous, it's been AGES since I heard a song this fantabulous.
It's mind blowingly good.
If the rest of the album blows, i'm going to write a letter to my congressman in protest.
14 days till...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The new Madonna album...
There's only so often I can listen to it off her website (at least it's better quality than all the video downloads i've got)...
I fully intend on being a big loser the night i get it by popping it in my CD player and dancing around my house by myself...well and the cats...
OMG this song is so effing fabulous, it's been AGES since I heard a song this fantabulous.
It's mind blowingly good.
If the rest of the album blows, i'm going to write a letter to my congressman in protest.
Le blog indeed
The New Rules from Bill Maher that I absolutely agree with:
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar.What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.I swear, this is the one thing that pisses me off. I don't go to Starbucks, but in general...especially when people have like 10 kids with them and they get all "okay honey...so...what do you want"...geezus let them pick in advance, and if they're indecisive then do what my parents did: you'll eat it and you'll like it
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place I kid you not, this one kills me. it's SO TRUE on so many effing levels. Half the times i'm like "uh...so...a year and a half?" when they give me the age...for eff's sakes i don't care enough about your kid to know down to the wire!
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar.What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.I swear, this is the one thing that pisses me off. I don't go to Starbucks, but in general...especially when people have like 10 kids with them and they get all "okay honey...so...what do you want"...geezus let them pick in advance, and if they're indecisive then do what my parents did: you'll eat it and you'll like it
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place I kid you not, this one kills me. it's SO TRUE on so many effing levels. Half the times i'm like "uh...so...a year and a half?" when they give me the age...for eff's sakes i don't care enough about your kid to know down to the wire!
The weekend....
So, the weekend...
Side note: why do guys argue with me about fabric and animals used to make clothing?!? I used to have to memerize fabric crap in a previous lifetime...YES that Alpacaa was skinned in order to make that rug they did not sheer it because tehre's nothing for those clumps to stick to....wtf.
So Sat night we got hooched up (yeah I didn't get dressed up in a costume. I'm officially DONE with Vegas, which is another rant i'll bitch about after this, but i got dolled up and said my costume was Sabina Circa Age 21), walked over to Ballys where Tony and all them were...
My pics from Shutterfly (for some reason the ordering and captions aren't showing up so suck it)
Link to Tony's pics, he's frickin' hilarious
Went for dinner with some of the crew (Me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Leeway, Ryan, Alex, Jen, and their friends Sri and his wife)....after that we went back up to their room for them to get dressed, Ryan and his crew bailed on going to the strip club with us so it was me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Alex, Jen, Joel, Heidi, and their friends Mike and Christine.
Got a free limo ride there, but the funniest part was Tony rolling down his window and yelling out...i knwo personally when I see a limo I expect to see someone kinda dressed up inside...everyone in the other cars were DYING laughing....because Tony was dressed as the Swedish Chef (muppets) and would yell out "BORK BORKY BORK BORK!"...i think one cab driver almost drove off the road laughing so hard.
We get there and got a booth (which required $300 to buy loads of liquor), and i'm dying because the angle I was at, I was pretty much right next to whoever was one booth over, which was 99% of the time an old creepy guy with some chick who looked so doped up (or bored, same diff)...i was DYING laughing....I mean, this one chick was killing me because she had the same stupid routine, and i'll be honest with you...
a) these chicks did NOT have good bodies
b) they gave HORRIBLE lap dances.
I mean, REALLY bad. I've given better lap dances, and yeah I know they do this stuff all the time but dang $20 for a stupid song, trust me I'll earn that penny....
Anyway so we're dying becuase most of the chicks were so nasty, like one chick looked WAY too much like Jim Carrey on In LIving Color when he played that bodybuilder ugly chick....
Tony kept saying it would make his night if I got a lap dance, so he paid for me to get one...I randomly picked this crazy lady...i mean, CRAZY. She looked at him and was all "You're a chef, and I've got cupcakes!" (grabbing her boobs), which i think became the tag line for the night.
As for the lap dance...
It was the most horrible thing EVER.
Apparently everyone ELSE thought it was effing hilarious, but I honestly was almost in hysterics CRYING it was so horrific!
First off, I wasn't really paying attention, so I turn around all of a sudden it's like "whoa! There's boobs in my face!" and then she smushes them against my face and I could see Kraig and Tony ot of the corner of my eye laughing their asses off...
Let me tell you a little something...boobs are NOT pleasant. At all. I"ve never had one pressed against my face and I have no desire to ever again. The texture was NASTY, like an old nerf ball or something. I"m going to puke just thinking about it.
Then she starts rubbing my arms and keeps telling me how good I smelled (I was wearing Estee Lauder Intuition for Men...omg i love that stuff), which doesn't say much since 99% of the guys there clearly needed a shower. She kept saying it over and OVER...like dang, okay i get it, i smell good, which is fortunate because I think even now the smell of cigarette smoke is STILL in my hair.
So i'm still sitting there mortified and everyone's laughing and then she grabs my face and tells me i'm adorable and how innocent I am, and how I"d make bank in the VIP room.
I don't care if someone tells me i can make bank by drinking vomit, if it involves money i'm all ears
Typical me, I'm all "oh really? What's the VIP room? What the deal?" and she said I guess that because I'm so innocent (hey i'll take that, compared to a stripper in vegas? Effing right i'm innocent), that I could make $600 an hour in the VIP room. I'm like "dayam....."....
So the song is almost over, she flips herself around and grinds her ass in my crotch (sorry for the visuals but at this point I practically needed kleenex for my crying), and then that was it...The sad part was that I wasn't even buzzed yet at that point...no sober chick should ever have to endure crazy naked lady ever! Friends don't let friends do that!
Since it was Tony's birthday, we kept trying to get him a lap dance so he agreed that if ANYONE could guess who he was, he'd get a lap dance from her. Um yeah...these girls couldn't even guess he was a CHEF. I mean, we heard some seriously bizarre guesses. Eventually the one hot chick in the place guessed "chef boyardee" which was close enough...
After that Tony got a lap dance from the ONE hot chick, I kind of wish I had had her 'cause she really was pretty and probably wouldn't have made me feel like she was going to EAT me or something. This chick was CRAZY. Short blond hair, she kept JUMPING on him, at one point his chair slid all the way back. Kraig was like "she's f*cking earning her money!" (i think his eyes almost popped out of his head)...thing is, it was the funniest thing ever because Tony was wearing his Swedish Chef outfit and he kept touching his face to make sure his eyebrows weren't falling off and his expression was nothing short of "EEEEEEEEK!!!!"...
Insert some more drinking (I didn't get drunk, just buzzed, att his point Kraig had like ONE drink...)..so i turn to the girls and tell them that after having boob in my face we needed to scope out the guys.
Now for Norm who i'm guessing (and hoping) has never been upstairs at OG, the layout is way different...it's nto like you've got mulitiple stages, it's just one big catwalk-type stage and the booths for lapdances all around. THere's a REASON it's a big stage...those boys work hard.
I mean, REAL hard.
In case you're wondering (I was...i've never been to a men's strip club before), then men strip down to this little thing that's a cross between a sock on their shlong and a g-string. You can tell which ones stuffed them and which ones didn't.
I seriously can't stress enough how hard these boys work. The ceiling is a bit lower, so they could do crazy handstands on chairs and have their feet touch the ceiling...
There weren't that many chicks there at that point, and seriously our little group (me, rena, Heidi, Jen, and Christine) were probably the best looking ones there...i felt bad for those guys. I really did.
One dude got "naked" but he was wearing kneepads, and I'm like "wtf lazy bastard needs kneepads?"....oh there was method to his madness...he basically slid around the floor, on his knees, pretty much humping hte floor...i don't know how he did what he did, but all us chicks pretty much had our jaws to the floor...like...wow...
I didn't plan on handing out ones...but somehow between me and Heidi, I think we went broke.
Rena got a lapdance (thanks to Jen), and it was in her chair RIGHT next to me so i would look on stage and scream in shock, or turn my head and look at Rena and scream in shock....they are a THOUSAND times more touchy feely in the men's section than the chick section, like massive gropage going on...
So one dude came over (he was this insanely hot black guy), and right off the bat I was like "i'm out of cash" and he kept saying "it's okay, i'll do it for free" and i was like "no, really, I saw the tv shows you guys need to make cash constantly or move on!" and he kept telling me to shut up...so he took me to a booth and i got my "naked" guy lap dance (which also had me screaming in shock), the guy was uh a little too touchy feely (considering i didn't know his NAME) but it was so frickin' funny....there was a bit more, but since I do have a husband who probably wouldn't want me going into too much detail, i'll leave it at that...
I get back to the girls, and we're still all chillin'...this one dude had your typical blond Chippendales look (like long hair, etc)...he was SO nasty...when will guys learn that chicks for the most part like 'em clean cut, shaved, all that stuff?
Eventually we go back down...and during that time we were gone, my husband had spent a small fortune on lap dances for everyone and he was DRUNK. I mean, PLASTERED. The last time he was that plastered was on our wedding night. I was like "wtf I leave you alone for a few minutes and this is what happens?"...apparently his lap dance was with "wonder woman", whatever that means...i was so bummed though 'cause there was this one chick with freakishly large boobs (i mean, larger than a basketball each) and Alex got her, i would have DIED to see that...
Yadda yadda, by the end of the night we get up to go, and Rena's carrying poor Kraig out...we took a separate cab since we were at a different hotel, after the incident with my coworker on our GNO puking in the cab I was terrified that Kraig would...fortunately, it was all good...
Anwyay to wrap up this long LONG blog, he spent the rest of the night hurling up for hours (on the floor, on the counter, and sometimes in the toilet even) so i'm still massively backlogged on sleep from that night.
And i still stand by my claim that most chicks can do (and have) better lap dances and stripteases than those girls...and that boobs on one's face feel effing NASTY.
Side note: why do guys argue with me about fabric and animals used to make clothing?!? I used to have to memerize fabric crap in a previous lifetime...YES that Alpacaa was skinned in order to make that rug they did not sheer it because tehre's nothing for those clumps to stick to....wtf.
So Sat night we got hooched up (yeah I didn't get dressed up in a costume. I'm officially DONE with Vegas, which is another rant i'll bitch about after this, but i got dolled up and said my costume was Sabina Circa Age 21), walked over to Ballys where Tony and all them were...
My pics from Shutterfly (for some reason the ordering and captions aren't showing up so suck it)
Link to Tony's pics, he's frickin' hilarious
Went for dinner with some of the crew (Me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Leeway, Ryan, Alex, Jen, and their friends Sri and his wife)....after that we went back up to their room for them to get dressed, Ryan and his crew bailed on going to the strip club with us so it was me, Kraig, Tony, Rena, Alex, Jen, Joel, Heidi, and their friends Mike and Christine.
Got a free limo ride there, but the funniest part was Tony rolling down his window and yelling out...i knwo personally when I see a limo I expect to see someone kinda dressed up inside...everyone in the other cars were DYING laughing....because Tony was dressed as the Swedish Chef (muppets) and would yell out "BORK BORKY BORK BORK!"...i think one cab driver almost drove off the road laughing so hard.
We get there and got a booth (which required $300 to buy loads of liquor), and i'm dying because the angle I was at, I was pretty much right next to whoever was one booth over, which was 99% of the time an old creepy guy with some chick who looked so doped up (or bored, same diff)...i was DYING laughing....I mean, this one chick was killing me because she had the same stupid routine, and i'll be honest with you...
a) these chicks did NOT have good bodies
b) they gave HORRIBLE lap dances.
I mean, REALLY bad. I've given better lap dances, and yeah I know they do this stuff all the time but dang $20 for a stupid song, trust me I'll earn that penny....
Anyway so we're dying becuase most of the chicks were so nasty, like one chick looked WAY too much like Jim Carrey on In LIving Color when he played that bodybuilder ugly chick....
Tony kept saying it would make his night if I got a lap dance, so he paid for me to get one...I randomly picked this crazy lady...i mean, CRAZY. She looked at him and was all "You're a chef, and I've got cupcakes!" (grabbing her boobs), which i think became the tag line for the night.
As for the lap dance...
It was the most horrible thing EVER.
Apparently everyone ELSE thought it was effing hilarious, but I honestly was almost in hysterics CRYING it was so horrific!
First off, I wasn't really paying attention, so I turn around all of a sudden it's like "whoa! There's boobs in my face!" and then she smushes them against my face and I could see Kraig and Tony ot of the corner of my eye laughing their asses off...
Let me tell you a little something...boobs are NOT pleasant. At all. I"ve never had one pressed against my face and I have no desire to ever again. The texture was NASTY, like an old nerf ball or something. I"m going to puke just thinking about it.
Then she starts rubbing my arms and keeps telling me how good I smelled (I was wearing Estee Lauder Intuition for Men...omg i love that stuff), which doesn't say much since 99% of the guys there clearly needed a shower. She kept saying it over and OVER...like dang, okay i get it, i smell good, which is fortunate because I think even now the smell of cigarette smoke is STILL in my hair.
So i'm still sitting there mortified and everyone's laughing and then she grabs my face and tells me i'm adorable and how innocent I am, and how I"d make bank in the VIP room.
I don't care if someone tells me i can make bank by drinking vomit, if it involves money i'm all ears
Typical me, I'm all "oh really? What's the VIP room? What the deal?" and she said I guess that because I'm so innocent (hey i'll take that, compared to a stripper in vegas? Effing right i'm innocent), that I could make $600 an hour in the VIP room. I'm like "dayam....."....
So the song is almost over, she flips herself around and grinds her ass in my crotch (sorry for the visuals but at this point I practically needed kleenex for my crying), and then that was it...The sad part was that I wasn't even buzzed yet at that point...no sober chick should ever have to endure crazy naked lady ever! Friends don't let friends do that!
Since it was Tony's birthday, we kept trying to get him a lap dance so he agreed that if ANYONE could guess who he was, he'd get a lap dance from her. Um yeah...these girls couldn't even guess he was a CHEF. I mean, we heard some seriously bizarre guesses. Eventually the one hot chick in the place guessed "chef boyardee" which was close enough...
After that Tony got a lap dance from the ONE hot chick, I kind of wish I had had her 'cause she really was pretty and probably wouldn't have made me feel like she was going to EAT me or something. This chick was CRAZY. Short blond hair, she kept JUMPING on him, at one point his chair slid all the way back. Kraig was like "she's f*cking earning her money!" (i think his eyes almost popped out of his head)...thing is, it was the funniest thing ever because Tony was wearing his Swedish Chef outfit and he kept touching his face to make sure his eyebrows weren't falling off and his expression was nothing short of "EEEEEEEEK!!!!"...
Insert some more drinking (I didn't get drunk, just buzzed, att his point Kraig had like ONE drink...)..so i turn to the girls and tell them that after having boob in my face we needed to scope out the guys.
Now for Norm who i'm guessing (and hoping) has never been upstairs at OG, the layout is way different...it's nto like you've got mulitiple stages, it's just one big catwalk-type stage and the booths for lapdances all around. THere's a REASON it's a big stage...those boys work hard.
I mean, REAL hard.
In case you're wondering (I was...i've never been to a men's strip club before), then men strip down to this little thing that's a cross between a sock on their shlong and a g-string. You can tell which ones stuffed them and which ones didn't.
I seriously can't stress enough how hard these boys work. The ceiling is a bit lower, so they could do crazy handstands on chairs and have their feet touch the ceiling...
There weren't that many chicks there at that point, and seriously our little group (me, rena, Heidi, Jen, and Christine) were probably the best looking ones there...i felt bad for those guys. I really did.
One dude got "naked" but he was wearing kneepads, and I'm like "wtf lazy bastard needs kneepads?"....oh there was method to his madness...he basically slid around the floor, on his knees, pretty much humping hte floor...i don't know how he did what he did, but all us chicks pretty much had our jaws to the floor...like...wow...
I didn't plan on handing out ones...but somehow between me and Heidi, I think we went broke.
Rena got a lapdance (thanks to Jen), and it was in her chair RIGHT next to me so i would look on stage and scream in shock, or turn my head and look at Rena and scream in shock....they are a THOUSAND times more touchy feely in the men's section than the chick section, like massive gropage going on...
So one dude came over (he was this insanely hot black guy), and right off the bat I was like "i'm out of cash" and he kept saying "it's okay, i'll do it for free" and i was like "no, really, I saw the tv shows you guys need to make cash constantly or move on!" and he kept telling me to shut up...so he took me to a booth and i got my "naked" guy lap dance (which also had me screaming in shock), the guy was uh a little too touchy feely (considering i didn't know his NAME) but it was so frickin' funny....there was a bit more, but since I do have a husband who probably wouldn't want me going into too much detail, i'll leave it at that...
I get back to the girls, and we're still all chillin'...this one dude had your typical blond Chippendales look (like long hair, etc)...he was SO nasty...when will guys learn that chicks for the most part like 'em clean cut, shaved, all that stuff?
Eventually we go back down...and during that time we were gone, my husband had spent a small fortune on lap dances for everyone and he was DRUNK. I mean, PLASTERED. The last time he was that plastered was on our wedding night. I was like "wtf I leave you alone for a few minutes and this is what happens?"...apparently his lap dance was with "wonder woman", whatever that means...i was so bummed though 'cause there was this one chick with freakishly large boobs (i mean, larger than a basketball each) and Alex got her, i would have DIED to see that...
Yadda yadda, by the end of the night we get up to go, and Rena's carrying poor Kraig out...we took a separate cab since we were at a different hotel, after the incident with my coworker on our GNO puking in the cab I was terrified that Kraig would...fortunately, it was all good...
Anwyay to wrap up this long LONG blog, he spent the rest of the night hurling up for hours (on the floor, on the counter, and sometimes in the toilet even) so i'm still massively backlogged on sleep from that night.
And i still stand by my claim that most chicks can do (and have) better lap dances and stripteases than those girls...and that boobs on one's face feel effing NASTY.
It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to
I know, i know, i'm still working on the Vegas blog. I'm annoyed because I captioned/reordered the pics on Shutterfly, but when everyone else logs in it just has whatever filenames.
Just a quick note: I love Hallowe'en. We didn't have THAT many kids come to our door but it was awesome either way, and I seriously wish I could give out candy every night. I probably would have spent more time ooohing and ahhhhing over everyone's costumes but Marmalade peed on the couch (first time in like 3 years...i.e. first time since I paid $100 per cushion to dry clean them!) and I was busy getting my Green Machine action on trying to clean them.
The song of the day is Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston (American Psycho was on the tv this weekend and that song plays at one critical moment)
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
I annoyed the crap out of my coworkers yesterday by singing it ALL day....
Laguna Beach: really. Seriously. Sure money can't buy happiness. But if i'm not happy anyway, then it certainly can't hurt right? And money can't buy happiness, but it can upgrade my master bathroom which is officially beyond ghetto and stained and biodegrading, which would make me less UNHAPPY each mornng when I get ready for work. See how that goes?
Anyway back to LB....
What did we learn?
We learned that Crazy Fun Girl WORKS. I swear Jessica is exactly how I was. And you know what? There's no better revenge than being Crazy Fun Girl when your ex is dating someone else. Hats off to you Jessica. Even better, I totally approve of you lying when you were put on speakerphone. Tell those bastards they can find out when it airs on MTV.
On another note, reading Esquire last night at the gym, another article about how the Army's PR totally changes stories around as opposed to what the soldiers actually there have to say...I wanted to pull an "I told you so" moment, but whatever...what do I know, i'm ignorant as to the american ways and oh gee, why would the Army have PR anyway.....
Alright, back to the Vegas blog.
Just a quick note: I love Hallowe'en. We didn't have THAT many kids come to our door but it was awesome either way, and I seriously wish I could give out candy every night. I probably would have spent more time ooohing and ahhhhing over everyone's costumes but Marmalade peed on the couch (first time in like 3 years...i.e. first time since I paid $100 per cushion to dry clean them!) and I was busy getting my Green Machine action on trying to clean them.
The song of the day is Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston (American Psycho was on the tv this weekend and that song plays at one critical moment)
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
I annoyed the crap out of my coworkers yesterday by singing it ALL day....
Laguna Beach: really. Seriously. Sure money can't buy happiness. But if i'm not happy anyway, then it certainly can't hurt right? And money can't buy happiness, but it can upgrade my master bathroom which is officially beyond ghetto and stained and biodegrading, which would make me less UNHAPPY each mornng when I get ready for work. See how that goes?
Anyway back to LB....
What did we learn?
We learned that Crazy Fun Girl WORKS. I swear Jessica is exactly how I was. And you know what? There's no better revenge than being Crazy Fun Girl when your ex is dating someone else. Hats off to you Jessica. Even better, I totally approve of you lying when you were put on speakerphone. Tell those bastards they can find out when it airs on MTV.
On another note, reading Esquire last night at the gym, another article about how the Army's PR totally changes stories around as opposed to what the soldiers actually there have to say...I wanted to pull an "I told you so" moment, but whatever...what do I know, i'm ignorant as to the american ways and oh gee, why would the Army have PR anyway.....
Alright, back to the Vegas blog.
Monday, October 31, 2005
HA! and HA! some more...
still working on the Vegas blog...
but i just want to say...
HA HA and HA i was right...oh noooooo of course governments don't lie about war stuff for whatever internal reasons, oh no everything we find out is always the truth:
Vietnam War
Yeah of course the numbers we see are the true numbers, they're not over/underinflated at times of war...
what
the
f*ck
I swear sometimes living in this country makes me want to put a bullet to my head, 'cause some people have zero openmindedness (not a word, i know, bite me)... FYI people...every country is going to over and underflate all the facts, no one knows the ACTUAL truth because everything will always be skewed to serve whatever interest. I don't CARE whether people say how much research was done...governments cover stuff up.
Anyway it doesn't matter, because i know the people who read this blog aren't the ones in question, but I just get super frustrated and I'm sick of sometimes feeling like i need to have a redneck hillbilly mentality in order to survive here.
but i just want to say...
HA HA and HA i was right...oh noooooo of course governments don't lie about war stuff for whatever internal reasons, oh no everything we find out is always the truth:
Vietnam War
Yeah of course the numbers we see are the true numbers, they're not over/underinflated at times of war...
what
the
f*ck
I swear sometimes living in this country makes me want to put a bullet to my head, 'cause some people have zero openmindedness (not a word, i know, bite me)... FYI people...every country is going to over and underflate all the facts, no one knows the ACTUAL truth because everything will always be skewed to serve whatever interest. I don't CARE whether people say how much research was done...governments cover stuff up.
Anyway it doesn't matter, because i know the people who read this blog aren't the ones in question, but I just get super frustrated and I'm sick of sometimes feeling like i need to have a redneck hillbilly mentality in order to survive here.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Whitney Houston is in my head....
Ugh when I was getting ready Sat night at the hotel the only thing on TV was American Psycho, and there's the scene where he's discussing the merits of Whitney Houston's work...and one song was playing and UGH UGH I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since. Mother effer.
I was all psyched to unpack, do boatloads of laundry/ironing, and then right after I just popped a load in the wash Marmalade jumped on the bed and proceeded to pee on my comforter cover, my fuzzy blue blanket, the fitted sheet, the flat sheet, and the mattress protector. Which normally isn't AS much the end of the world when I can shove that crap in the wash, but I had JUST put in a load already.
So now i'm all "pff, whatever" about unpacking and caring about being ahead so as usual I'm backlogged on all the crazy cleaning and laundry and lord knows what else needs to be done to function as a grownup.
Will write about Vegas tomorrow...all I know is that I left Kraig for a few moments after I got my lap dance (after all that boob in my face, I felt like I needed to see some naked men...and...dang...those boys EARN their keep! And hands down, the dude with the knee pads pretty much had every chick in the place breathing a little too heavy....even for a strip club!) and I came back down, he was plastered, everyone had bought each other lap dances, and somehow my wallet has ALOT less cash than was in there before.
I probably wouldn't be so tired if I didn't stay up ALL night with Kraig who was puking nonstop...It got to the point where I was terrified that he had DIED on me, and then I'd hear him heaving and I'd think "oh thank God, he's still puking, he's still alive...."...along with "if that mother effer dies before we finalize on the legal paperwork, i'll kill him"....
I was all psyched to unpack, do boatloads of laundry/ironing, and then right after I just popped a load in the wash Marmalade jumped on the bed and proceeded to pee on my comforter cover, my fuzzy blue blanket, the fitted sheet, the flat sheet, and the mattress protector. Which normally isn't AS much the end of the world when I can shove that crap in the wash, but I had JUST put in a load already.
So now i'm all "pff, whatever" about unpacking and caring about being ahead so as usual I'm backlogged on all the crazy cleaning and laundry and lord knows what else needs to be done to function as a grownup.
Will write about Vegas tomorrow...all I know is that I left Kraig for a few moments after I got my lap dance (after all that boob in my face, I felt like I needed to see some naked men...and...dang...those boys EARN their keep! And hands down, the dude with the knee pads pretty much had every chick in the place breathing a little too heavy....even for a strip club!) and I came back down, he was plastered, everyone had bought each other lap dances, and somehow my wallet has ALOT less cash than was in there before.
I probably wouldn't be so tired if I didn't stay up ALL night with Kraig who was puking nonstop...It got to the point where I was terrified that he had DIED on me, and then I'd hear him heaving and I'd think "oh thank God, he's still puking, he's still alive...."...along with "if that mother effer dies before we finalize on the legal paperwork, i'll kill him"....
Thursday, October 27, 2005
IM with my mom...some more
My_mom: hi there whats up
ME: nothing
My_mom: :(
My_mom: but thats good too in a way, at least peace of mind
My_mom: what are u doing this weekend
ME: going to vegas
My_mom: oh no
My_mom: wasting your money
ME: okay
My_mom: i hate vegas, to noisy, and all looks so cheap
My_mom: like its all imitation
My_mom: are u driving or flying?
My_mom: driving is a long way?
ME: flying
ME: driving is like 3 hours
My_mom: 3 hrs wow, thats not long
My_mom: thought it was more
ME: i live closer than ((my brother))
My_mom: shouldnt go to vegas during ramadhan
My_mom: its finish tuesday or wednesday anyway, then u can be evil again for a year
My_mom: i mean we all hehe
ME: okay
My_mom: shouldnt joke about it, it won't be a nice time on the day of judgement
ME: ok
My_mom: where did u put those islamic books dad gave u?
ME: they're still in the box
My_mom: yes, but where?
ME: in the hallway
My_mom: always put them above other things, never under, especially the koran and hadith
ME: okay
My_mom: never so that your feet point to it, its disrespectfull
My_mom: one may not be perfect, but some of the things like these should be easy to do
ME: ok
My_mom: in the hallway where i left it?
My_mom: surely cleaned up in the meantime?
ME: nope
My_mom: u r kidding, u are such a slob
My_mom: didnt u learn anything while u were at home ?
ME: no, i'm a slob
My_mom: anyway, take those books, put them in the room were the computer is and put it on the top closet shelf tonight
My_mom: it's important ok, listen to me sometimes
My_mom: teaches kraig too, to treat islamic books and the koran with respect
My_mom: u really got a big responsibility by marrying him, like he doesnt know any better and wont learn except from u
My_mom: like u want kids too, surely u dont want them to be christians, or even worse believing in nothing
ME: ok
My_mom: with each generation it gets more difficult to raise kids, it wont be easy once they get to a certain age i can tell u
ME: ok
My_mom: if u think u got it all figured out, u will be in for a big surprise, kids always want to go the other way
My_mom: its tough
My_mom: peer pressure is the worst enemy of parents i think
My_mom: anyway, i let u go now, c u
ME: okay
Good times.....
ME: nothing
My_mom: :(
My_mom: but thats good too in a way, at least peace of mind
My_mom: what are u doing this weekend
ME: going to vegas
My_mom: oh no
My_mom: wasting your money
ME: okay
My_mom: i hate vegas, to noisy, and all looks so cheap
My_mom: like its all imitation
My_mom: are u driving or flying?
My_mom: driving is a long way?
ME: flying
ME: driving is like 3 hours
My_mom: 3 hrs wow, thats not long
My_mom: thought it was more
ME: i live closer than ((my brother))
My_mom: shouldnt go to vegas during ramadhan
My_mom: its finish tuesday or wednesday anyway, then u can be evil again for a year
My_mom: i mean we all hehe
ME: okay
My_mom: shouldnt joke about it, it won't be a nice time on the day of judgement
ME: ok
My_mom: where did u put those islamic books dad gave u?
ME: they're still in the box
My_mom: yes, but where?
ME: in the hallway
My_mom: always put them above other things, never under, especially the koran and hadith
ME: okay
My_mom: never so that your feet point to it, its disrespectfull
My_mom: one may not be perfect, but some of the things like these should be easy to do
ME: ok
My_mom: in the hallway where i left it?
My_mom: surely cleaned up in the meantime?
ME: nope
My_mom: u r kidding, u are such a slob
My_mom: didnt u learn anything while u were at home ?
ME: no, i'm a slob
My_mom: anyway, take those books, put them in the room were the computer is and put it on the top closet shelf tonight
My_mom: it's important ok, listen to me sometimes
My_mom: teaches kraig too, to treat islamic books and the koran with respect
My_mom: u really got a big responsibility by marrying him, like he doesnt know any better and wont learn except from u
My_mom: like u want kids too, surely u dont want them to be christians, or even worse believing in nothing
ME: ok
My_mom: with each generation it gets more difficult to raise kids, it wont be easy once they get to a certain age i can tell u
ME: ok
My_mom: if u think u got it all figured out, u will be in for a big surprise, kids always want to go the other way
My_mom: its tough
My_mom: peer pressure is the worst enemy of parents i think
My_mom: anyway, i let u go now, c u
ME: okay
Good times.....
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