Email from my mom

I swear, my mom kills me sometime...

hi bean,

u are always in need of extra cash, then again who isnt...

www.clicksmc.com

this company has a warehouse, helps u set up your own website and sell their stuff at warehouse prize. people order from your website, you send in your order to the warehouse and they take care of the shipping and handling.

the people ordering that stuff, think that u sending it to them. have a look, maybe there's something about.

I saw their television ads on tv, sounds interesting.

hugs MOM

But I'll be damned if I see another chick on your arm!!

DANG I love the new Beyonce song!

So the VMAs last night blew goats. when will people learn that Jack Black is okay with a script, but just running wild he's awful? The only part I laughed at was where he went backstage and Justin Timberlake was doing construction.

Plus, wtf was J Lo wearing? And why did she not know that that big black guy wasnt' with the band (kudos to him for finding a way onstage to plug his own crap, way to go MTV security).

Performances:

Beyonce...fantastic!

Shakira...i hate her voice but the performance was great

Justin...the first half is lip-synced but the dancing is pretty interesting.

Pharrell, Luda, and the PCD...it actually kinda sucks

Crap, now I've got that awful Hips Don't Lie song in my head. WTF.

So I've decided that sleep isn't the way to go this weekend...dear LORD please give me the strength to do the following things:
1. return that effing stupid space saver bag to BBB (uhhh it's been months...do i have the receipt)
2. Clean out the spare bedroom. Seriously. Once and for all. And get rid of one bookcase on freecycle.
3. Buy a new stove.
4. Test drive some new cars (gotta drag Stefanie with me, she's the auto negotiation pro)
5. Get the paperwork together to FINALLY refinance the home loan...again....
6. Watch the Queer As Folk DVD i got from netflix (I never got through all the seasons after I moved! I need Marcella's cable plan!)
7. Get off my a$$ and mail Marlene's bday gift

HA we'll see on Tuesday how much I get accomplished.

Sorry for this boring blog post (not like any of the others are interesting), but I lead a boring life, what can I tell ya. Maybe I need some blog topics or something.

Seriously I loooooove that Beyonce song.

Give me the jew gold Kyle!

South Park link ....ahhhh if i were stuck on an island and all I had to watch was South Park, I'd be in heaven.


Blow your mind.

I've been soooo bummed over not getting that purse on Amazon...but today I logged in and low and behold...the purse in brown is available again! But then I had some pre-buyer's remorse, 'cause I think it's going to be WAYYY too big, but f*ck it...it's absolutely adorable and I"m getting old and a sign of age is the size of your purse so suck it. It's adorable.

This is the purse, I wish they had it in cream but I'll take what i can get:


(watch the link not work anymore)

In other news, I signed me and Stefanie up for the Flavor of Love reunion episode...I doubt we'll get in, but that might be the highlight of my life if we did.

I can't waaaiiiittt for the long weekend. Nothing major planned, unless crazy amounts of sleeping counts as something planned. Even better, I can't wait till we go to Arizona...I can't remember the last time Kraig and I actually were together for a whole week. Maybe xmas a few years ago? Our honeymoon? Who knows.

Get yer surf on

Well, since i got a few blog shout outs from other people, today is officially Link To Other People's Crap Day.

Kraig's friend's blog: Miss Hoover, what's a Galway?

Grey, Norm, and B.O.B's blog: I want to be Seth Cohen when I grow up

Ryan's blog: How to torment your wife, 101

Animal Rescue Site: If you don't click the purple button once a day, God will kill a kitten

Alien Loves Predator: Each Monday morning when you need a laugh...bad.

Porn Starr's blog: Your double sided dildo will be shipped via Fed Ex

My brother's site: Probably won't keep this up for long 'cause i don't want people knowing who i'm related to!

That's all i can think of, if you've got a link you want posted lemme know...

Of pink jelly beans and other random sports events

So celebrity scoop....

First off, the Emmys were boring of course (minus anything with jon stewart) but the intro (LINK HERE was effing AWESOME (the South Park part was the best!)....

In other news, here's the nekkid pics of Toastee from Flavor of Love:
Toastee...don't call this modeling

This is sad:
Kim Yun-jin has become the first actress from Asia to ever grace the front of the U.S.'s TV Guide weekly. In the issue that hits stands next Monday, the actress appears with her small-screen husband Daniel Dae Kim.

(She's the chick from Lost, in case you didn't know). What kind of hillbilly country is this? How has it been THIS LONG before an asian chick has been on the cover of TV Guide?!?! Wow maybe the black people can keep their seats on the bus now too.
In Emmy fashion news

Everyone looked fantastic, amazingly. Evangeline Lilly's dress was GORGEOUS, probably my favorite of them all. I was annoyed that the cameras kept panning to Jaime Pressly and Debra Messing. Heather Locklear looked FANTABULOUS during the Aaron Spelling thing.

The tribute to Dick Clark was sooo sad...i mean, it was like he was saying goodbye to the world. At one point he said how he had accomplished his dream, and everyone should be so blessed. I was almost in hysterics, it was so touching. It's like he aged overnight.

Seriously, the South Park part of the intro for the Emmys was some effing funny stuff...

I can't wait for Sept 21st...all the good tv shows are back on...all social activities are going to go down to ZERO.

And what's sad...i actually posed on Saturday looking like a GOOB here completely sober:

Dang....

Ahhh the aftermath...involves crazy Swiffering of the kitchen floor, doing a count of leftover alcohol, and wondering if vacuuming is even worth it or if I should just start looking at laminate flooring NOW...

Much props to Kraig, who as always is a trooper with BBQing in the blazing heat, and for being totally cool whenever there's drama...indeed, i'm a lucky lucky girl!

On another note, Flavor of Love...COME ON...those producers HAD to have known she did porn...AND...we all know Flav does NOT have the web surfing skills to find Toastee's nekkid ass (or uhh...front from the sounds of it) on the net...

Season finale of 4400...the only highlight of it ending is knowing this means the debut of The OC, Lost (ohhhh I miss my Sawyer! hot damn that guy is the epitomy of manhood), Desperate Housewives, and The Office...I need to know the Jim and Pam saga!

In dental news
I went to the dentist before my bbq yesterday and the hygienist chick is soooo nice....she mentioned the day before how she was up in Brentwood at another office doing work...and when I asked if celebrities go there, well, my office visit must have tripled in time...

Ben Affleck and Casey were there the day before, apparently Ben is truly hot in real life. Nicholas Cage is also apparently good looking, and he used to go in with Patricia...now with celebs they have to make sure they don't schedule appointments at the same time, but once when he was dating some chick they accidentally scheduled the girlfriend at the same time as Patricia, so they had to keep them super far apart...

Jack Nicholson took awhile to get used to becuase he's weird...

Tom Cruise is apparently VERY nice, and she thinks that his manager is the one who's making act like a looney toon...I asked about his braces, she said he lasted all of 2 days before begging to have them take them off, and that the center of his teeth are WAY off line, so even his veneers are a bit off...

Most celebrities have veneers, so they don't have to floss as much...But Tracy Chapman and Nicole Kidman have their real teeth, and what's his face who plays Kramer has his real teeth except for 4, becuase he damaged them at some point....apparently he's super funny....

Penelope Cruz didn't even seem to be dating Tom when they came in back in the day, so the hygienist thinks that whole thing was just to boost her image, and that Penelope was the rudest of them all and made the pregnant receptionist cry...

AND...she said Matt Damon is the most down to earth and NICEST of them all, and thathe's the only one who doesn't go in with a publicist or manager.

Needless to say, I was in HEAVEN in that dentist chair...

And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and the rain forgot how to bring salvation

So I'm crazy in love with the acoustic version of Nelly Furtado's "All Good Things Come To An End" (with Chris Martin, who I can't stand, but hey...it works for this song)...

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

So it kind of depressed me yesterday, and then I realized, wtf...who's the idiot who came up with that theory? That all good things come to an end?

Why isn't there an expression that says "all crappy things seem to last frickin' forever"?

"All bad times must last long enough to make you want to put a bullet in your head"
So who's the jackass killjoy who made up the expression that all good things MUST come to an end, and thus created the cassandra-syndrome for all of us that made it come true?!

If you think about it, it's absolutely true. But WHY is that? If i think of all the wonderful moments in my life, time eventually kicked in, and it was over...I think of things going on with my friends, and the same applies to them....

And yet, look at crappy stuff...like effing paying bills. That's a REAL BAD TIME and that doesn't ever seem to end. Death is a crappy time, and that doesn't end! Cancer isn't fun, and that doesn't seem to end for people. Aging is horrible, horrible, and that definitely doesn't end (well, until you get to death, which is even worse...i think).

Anyway, that's my griping about how all good things come to an end...it's just flippin' depressing.

new topic

I got a leaked version of Justin Timberlake's album...the songs that are good are FANTASTIC, but the ones that aren't....blow. Plus he's got interludes, and i had interludes on CDs. Basically you can tell he wanted a CD you can pop in when you're trying to get a chick naked or something.

new topic

Season 3 of Laguna Beach is just AWFUL...why do I keep watching?

new topic

I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's bbq...people tend to flake, right?

new topic

Did I bitch yet about Amazon? I got a $50 GC for my birthday, and I found a cute purse I wanted. So i added it to my wishlist so that the next morning I could buy it (I was too tired that night to go through the checkout process), and the next morning it was soldo ut in the color i wanted! BITCH! It was SOOO cute.

new topic

Marmalade is on new medicine. Stay tuned.

new topic

Why hasn't anyone invented lettuce that tastes like doughnuts yet?! WTF!

last topic

I can't believe it's almost labor day...this year has FLOWN by like a mofo....I feel like I just celebrated New Year's....I miss buying back to school supplies...I miss having summer vacations....gasp, i think I might actually miss non-California fall, with the change of leaves and Indian Summer and wearing cute new coats...

Yep. All good things come to an end.

Ha ha haaa...

Tony, you deserve an award...

"I got my jimmy on your tonsils..."

Marmalade update

Marmalade update...

So this raging infection of hers seems to be resistant to alot of stuff, according to the lab folks, so last night the vet gave me a new medication to try.

I got home, and i was EXHAUSTED (i've been exhausted lately) and I was gonna take a quick nap, but i figured I should give her the medication before i passed out. So I did, and then fast forward to 11pm when I awoke to Kraig getting ready for bed (I told you i was tired!), and Marmalade was just so AGITATED...she kept pacing, jump up and down off teh bed, making these low growling noises...finally Kraig gets up and then says "sweetie, i don't like freaking you out about the cat, but I think something's wrong"...

I get up, and she's PANTING....low to the ground...growling...so we threw on some clothes and took her to the animal ER (fortunately, right by my house)....

Stayed there ALL frickin' night. They figured she was allergic to the medication, so they gave her a shot for it and we had to sit with her all night until it kicked in, which fortunately it did.

By the time i got home, i put my head on the pillow, and a split second later my alarm went off for work.

When i signed her in I also had to sign a thing saying that emergency medical expenses can start from $450 to $850...when I signed it, Kraig was like "so much for our kitchen cabinets"...turns out it was only (ONLY) $142....

ANyway, long story short, she seems to be better now and I've been trying to get a hold of the vet to see what the next course of action against this urinary infection is. My poor baby :(

Let's get it ON...

Egads from Pop Culture Madness, The Top 40 Sexiest Songs:
I put in red the ones that I agree should make the list

Top 40 Hot and Sexy Songs

1. Lets Get It On - Marvin Gaye
2. Moments in Love - Art of Noise
3. Sex Me - R. Kelly
4. Love to Love You Baby - Donna Summer
5. Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
6. I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
7. Anywhere - 112
8. I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd (okay maybe not NOW but at the time, it did the trick)
9. Your Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer
10. Nice and Slow - Usher
11. Too Close - Next
12. Mr. Boombastic - Shaggy
13. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy - Rod Stewart
14. I'll Make Love To You - Boys II Men (once again...at the time, it SURE did the trick boyeee!)
15. You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
16. Let's Talk About Sex - Salt 'n' Pepa
17. Fever - Peggy Lee (or Elvis, for the ladies!)
18. Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
19. Bolero - (classical)
20. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
21. I'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More - Barry White
22. Smooth Operator - Sade
23. Naughty Girl - Beyonce
24. All the Way - Frank Sinatra
25. Super Freak - Rick James
26. Let's Go To Bed - The Cure
27. Fallin - Alicia Keys
28. Sexual - Amber
29. Kiss You All Over - Exile
30. Love Touch - Rod Stewart
31.Take Your Time - Max-A-Million
32. I Wanna Be Your Lover - Prince
33. Slow - Kylie Minogue (funny, I was thinking about this video this morning)
34. Slow Hand - Pointer Sisters
35. 2 Become 1 - Spice Girls
36. Kiss From A Rose - Seal
37. Sweetest Sin - Jessica Simpson
38. Barbie Girl - Aqua
39. The Way You Move - Outkast
40. Peaches 'N Cream - 112

Okay there's WAYYY better songs out there...like (in no particular order):
1. Kiss - Prince
2. Freak Me - Silk
3. Wicked Games - Chris Isaak
4. Dance with me - 112
5. Closer (aka F*ck you like an animal) - Nine Inch Nails
6. Red Light Special - TLC
7. Lonely No More - Rob Thomas (okay maybe not so much "sexy" but I can't stand Rob Thomas so i'm giving him props for one of two songs of his that i actually like)
8. Tied: Erotica and Justify My Love - Madonna
9. If - Janet Jackson
10. You Remind Me Of Something - R Kelly (in high school I used to go NUTS when I heard this song...how hearing about how a guy wants to ride you like his jeep is hot is beyond me, but i"m a girl and I don't have to explain it!)

...the more you know!

Deep Thoughts...by jack handy

Some of these are classic no matter how long ago they aired this...

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"


When I was in the 3rd grade, a bully in school started beating me up every day. At first I didn't say anything, but then I told dad. He got a real scared look on his face and asked if the bully had a big dad. I said I didn't know. But he still seemed scared. And just a few days later we moved to a new town. Dad told me that if anyone picked on me, not to fight back. Unless I knew the kid didn't have a dad or the dad was real small. Otherwise just curl up in a ball.

Seriously...SERIOUSLY...SNL used to be so good:

One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.

ha ha haaaa:

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

Is it bad that i'm in hysterics as I post these? Geezus they're not THAT funny, but I'm in a bizarre mood right now.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

ha haaaaaah haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

Feline Health Watch

So in cat news...

Anyone who's anyone knows how much Marmalade means to me. That cat means the world to me, and honestly I probably value her life more than my family's life....

The past while she's been dealing with an infection, and right now it's become a "raging" bladder infection. They thought since she's borderline diabetes that the glucose was feeding the infection. Took some tests...nope, that's not it. They're still working on figuring out why the infection is resistant to all the different meds, but they also found that she's starting to show signs of kidney failure...

So all this time she was on low carb, high protein food (basically Kitty Atkins) 'cause of the diabetes...now she's on low protein food 'cause that jacks up your kidneys otherwise...then eventually she'll go on medication + soft food...and then i'll have to feed her liquids....

The vet estimated 2-3 years left.

Marmalade is roughly 10-11 years old...I kinda figured she'd survive to be 21 like Kraig's cat Gruffy...I mean, Marmalade is pretty spry for an older cat. She plays and runs around like a mofo...one minute she'll be hiding under the dining room table, next minute she's charging upstairs, to teh bedroom, and jumps on the bed to attack something.

Now if you've never met this cat, you're probably thinking that I"m making a big deal out of this. But anyone who's met her says she's unlike any other cat, how she's got such a personality to her (she's a ham!), and most importantly she's my little buddy...she follows me everywhere and when I come home from work, she yaks on and on about her day and how dare I leave her...Heck, even when I pet Stash she gives me SUCH a look of fierce jealousy (very much of a "oh no you DI - INT" snap of the fingers look).

Sigh, and best of all, I've trained her to give me little kisses.

My relationship with her is so abnormal, Kraig keeps saying that he's terrified the day she dies, 'cause I'm going to lose my mind.

Entertainment Tonight...err today

I've been in a massively crabby mood lately, so I've decided to spare the world by not bitching about it (what's there to write anyway? How it's a great injustice that I have to wake up each morning instead of getting paid to sleep?!)....

DVD Review: Legend of Zorro (i.e. Zorro the sequel)
Where to begin...
Bad acting....
Bad script...
Bad blue screen effect with the train scene at the end...
Bad little precocious little kid ("oh look at me, I'm cute, so I can get away by acting like a mischievious little devil")
But more importantly....
Who thought that using a flat iron to Antonio Banderas' hair would be a good idea?! I wanted to mess up his hair the entire movie.

In summary: 2 hours of my life that i can't ever, ever get back. Wasted.

TV Review: Laguna Beach Season 3
Sigh, I miss the good ol' days of Stephen, LC, and Kristin...but time to move forward right?
Wrong.
I really wanted to view this with an open mind. I mean, I'm 29...I can't expect these rich kids to have much to say other than "whatever". But it's hard to watch because there's just too many new characters, and not only do they all look the same, they're kind of ugly as well. They THINK they're hot...but they're not. Even the guys are kind of attractive if you quickly passed by them, but then when the camera gets close to their faces....eeek.

And I get that this is Celeb-Reality...not really scripted, not really reality...the first season seemed pretty genuine. This season it's pretty clear that someone is telling them "talk about this. Talk about that". Give me a frickin' break. We all know that teenagers don't wait until a few days after a minor event to say "hey, I invited that hot new guy to the party" or "so...are you going to the party tonight?"...

The key is that the "it" word for this generation is RANDOM. Or, more importantly, that's like, so random. Ummm, do you know what random means? Not everything in life is random. And, what kind of observation is that? "I ran into so and so today"
"Omg, that's like, so random"
Uh no kidding. If it wasn't planned, then it's a random assortment of people that you can meet in a given moment. That's not even an observation! it's not ANYTHING! It's you needing to say something to validate your friend's crappy story! You can't even say "OMG, that's like, so interesting" because it's NOT! So all you can say is..."that's so random"...

Listen, I needed something to fill the void left by Real World, but this isn't gonna cut it. Someone better give someone an STD real soon to make this a better show.

DVD Review: Saw II
Now let's start off by saying that Saw was a phenomenal movie. Don't tell me that you knew what the ending was. And it was creepy and gory and just effed up. Fantabulous.

The sequel...well you knew it couldn't be as good as the first. Which is fine. And it was pretty entertaining...and alotta gore...but the problem is, no one actually won any of the "games"...you know how in the first one a few people actually bit the bullet and did what they had to do in order to break free? No one in the sequal succeeded. So that was bit annoying.

Was it a good movie? ((shrug)) it was okay...kept the blood pulsing...but dont' expect it to be half as good as the first one. Only really worth watching 'cause maybe Saw 3 will be good.

In other news...
Drove to san diego Friday night. Not much to report on that other than that when I got there, i was pretty surprised with how much they've cleaned up downtown...it's no longer nasty. That being said, the stupid parking thing chewed up my $5...effing bastards.

In tv news
Dane Cook is SO NOT FUNNY. He reminds me of that UPS guy from Mad TV. And we know Jessica Simpson doesn't have an ounce of wit in her body, so this whole Teen Choice Awards thing lost my interest pretty fast. (Okay, I DVRed it so that I can see KFed's performance...which I heard wasn't that bad).

Seacrest out!

Interesting news...

Yeah, i know, i haven't written, brain has been elsewhere lately.

This was super interesting, figured i'd pass it on, how the police is using s/w to track down graffiti artists:
link

kah toe mah tay

Of cacti and memories of porn bunko videos

So finally i booked the timeshare thing that we had to use up asap...

Last week in October...
I didn't want to fly anywhere (cost of airfare, blah), and there wasn't much available on short notice 'cause i should have booked this ages ago but it's hard to plan so far in advance...

Resort in AZ...

AND...since allegedly Kraig's spot in Tahoe is equivalent to any size elsewhere, i booked the Delux Penthouse Villa:


Uhhh let's see if that's what we actually get....

KAH TOE MAHHH TAY!

!!!Flavvvaaaa Flaaaav!!!!

Just when you thought last night's episode couldn't get any better:
Only click if you're okay listening to stories of...liquid poop...

Combined with Celebrity Fit Club, I was in pure heaven yesterday.

And since I'm not afraid to humiliate myself on so many levels....Justin T's "SexyBack" drives me absolutely WILD. Which once again proves that i'm the most immature 28 (gulp almost 29) year old out there.

Ain't no other man

Yeah yeah, I know, copying music online is bad. Bad bad. And the instant I got engaged, I stopped all that crap 'cause i didn't want to be the first person to get (and then lose) a green card 'cause she downloaded musically illegally.

ohhh how I miss those Napster days.

But i scored a crisp copy of Christina Aguilera's album yesterday from a normal joe shmoe site...how could i NOT?

Ummm...well...turns out, it's not that great. So much for that. Too much blues and jazz. The victory is wasted.

In other news...
Still obsessed with my age and wrinkles.

This whole "stop worrying about it" isn't gonna cut it. If i worry about paying my bills, then at least they're nto only getting paid but i'm on TOP of finding ways to reduce them. Same thing with wrinkles.

Wrinkles have become my debt, and i want to keep that as low as possible, if at all.

Anyway so Dr. Rey was on the Adam Corolla show this morning, and seriously as creepy as Dr. Rey is...I dig that man. He was saying how last year the butt lift was the #1 procedure, now it's labiaplasty (i.e. making your female gonads prettier). And Adam was all "but it's one thing when it's your face and stuff people see..." and Dr. Rey is all "ahhh but swimsuits NOW are much thinner than back in the 70s...you can see things...what do you call it..." and everyone yelled "CAMELTOE!"...

This is a pretty valid point. Some chick he was saying had like 5 inches of her uhhh "inner lip" stretched out. That's effing NUTS.

I just don't want people to tell me i look good for my age. I want to look good for a college kid's age!

WS of PC

HILLMAN

How can you not get HILLMAN?!!

How can you get to the finale and not know HILLMAN COLLEGE?!?!?!?

How do you know the name of the diner in Pulp Fiction BUT NOT HILLMAN COLLEGE?!?!?!?

Those in the know...know what i'm talkin' about.

Countdown to D-Day...err...B-Day

Ahhh, apparently I"ve got my own ghetto bio on moby games:
Ghetto Bio

I was in the credits 'cause I did so much effing freebie editing of all their documents.

So i'm one week and one day away from my 29th birthday. And i'm actually having as hard of a time as I did on both my 20th birthday and 27th birthday (the first because of course the teen years are over, and 27 'cause I could no longer ride on the coattails of being 25).

It's not that being so close to 30 is what bugs me...

It's that your 20s are your last years of any real youth.

In your 30s, there's no question: your'e a grownup. All the dumbass behaviors that you did in your 20s require a little more discretion in your 30s and 40s.

And...really...I get it...age ain't nuthin' but a number. You're only as old as you feel. Blah blah. My fear is that i don't want to be 45 being told "wow you look great for your age".

I don't WANT to look great for my age. I want to look great for a 20 year old's age. So far i've been pretty blessed in that i do look a wee bit younger than I am (heck, 2 weeks ago at Nordstroms two teenage chicks and I were chatting about something retarded and they thought i was like 23...i was like "thank you!")...and i've always looked 5 years younger than I am...that being said, being 55 and looking 50 isn't as great as being 25 and looking 20.

I don't WANT anyone saying how I look for my age.

When i turned 20, I started buying wrinkle creams...becuase when i was 5, I had said to myself "when i get old, when i get 20, I'm gonna use creams like mom uses"...Of course, 20 isn't old...but I had hit that age that Mini Sabina thought was old.

I had then promised myself at 30 I would have the income where i could really justify the good crap...I adore Vinotherapie (red wine is good for the insides, it's gotta be good for the skin too), but mooching free samples from Sephora isn't gonna cut it anymore. And...yep...the Botox Fund...and before anyone flips, let me remind you that Botox is PREVENTATIVE...it's already too late when you have wrinkles.

Your skin is like a piece of paper...once it's folded, it's wrinkled, nothing you can do about it. You need to prevent it from folding inthe first place.

Turning 30 or 40 isn't so much the problem as much as say turning 60 or 80...at that point, you're happy to be ALIVE....I'm such a little brat, whenenver I see little old grannies applying their lipstick and stuff, part of me says "ass that's so sweet...no matter what, they're always looking nice for the world"...then there's that jackass part of me that's like "what does it matter? when you're 80 applying a coat of lipstick won't make a diff"....

My ultimate heroes are Barbara Eden ("I dream of Jeannie") and Loni Anderson...okay, I know they're had work done, but I think they look fantastic (for their age...well actually I think Loni looks better now than on WKRP).

I stood in line last year at the San Diego Comic Con not to get the chick who plays Elvira's autograph...i just wanted to know what moisturizer she uses (that woman looks phenomenal even when she's not all hootched up in black).

In the grand scheme of things, the two most important factors are genetics and the sun...

I guess my mom looks okay for her age, it's hard to tell 'cause she's my MOM...i see her the same way I did when Iwas a kid.

As for the sun...well I never suntanned alot when i was younger (if at all), I slathered on Ombrelle (Parsol 1789 baby!) growing up, and now I get my sunblock from Canada because it has Mexoryl.

That being said, when I scrunch or bunch up my face...the lines are taking TOO LONG to smooth out, if at all. There's one line on my forehead in particular that drives me nuts, and it's 'cause when i do my eye makeup i tend to wrinkle my forehead....

Yeah Wrinkle 1, i'm talkin' to you bitch. It's you and me. It's war. You just wait till I save up for Restylin (sp) to fill you up. Mooo hah ahahahahahaaa...

AND...that's just my issues with my FACE. Don't get me started on my hands or the marks elsewhere on my body.

Basically...I'm the cryptkeeper.

Hell's kitchen...MY kitchen

Although most of these pics have me in them (Kraig had the camera, clearly), in case anyone's bored and wants to see pics from Sat night...and yes in most of them i look like i'm having a seizure...
Sat NIght baby (no more photos and drinking!)

Kudos to Nicole D and her fantabulous hostessing skills. And her ability to turn cream cheese and rasberry chipotle sauce into CRACK.

So yesterday I had my resistance training with the 24HF trainer.
OH
MY
GOD

Let's just say....my ASS is in so much pain today (and get your head out of hte gutter, not for THAT reason!)