So Carrie and I are all about the skillz a dude should know. Along with what kind of car he should drive (give me an old truck vs. a new Mazda Miata any day). She passed along this link, and now I share with you...with my comments in red of course.
Links to other posts where I discussed skillz every man should know:
July 5 2008: When You Cockblock Yourself
December 5 2007: Stelllaaaaa
100 Skills Every Man Should Know: 2008's Ultimate DIY ListSource
Brains and charm are fine, but a real guy needs to know how to do real stuff. After months of debate among PM’s expert editors, here’s our lineup of essential skills for the competent man.
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
2. Drive in snow
PLEASE...anyone with a pulse who lives in the land of the cold knows this. Anyone with a DRIVER'S LICENSE should know this.
3. Check trouble codes
4. Replace fan belt
5. Wax a car
This isn't a "man should know" thing...not knowing how to wax a car is like not knowing how to read...the instructions are on the bottle.
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
Use a what now?
8. Hitch up a trailer
9. Jump-start a car
YES YES YES. I don't know how, but I have Geico. And i usually jump start my car from another dude's car, in which case, he's the one who's gotta know. True dat.
Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
11. Reverse hypothermia
12. Perform hands-only CPR
13. Escape a sinking car
I'm not saying the above aren't good to know...i just don't know if they're "requirements" for a guy to know.
Home
14. Carve a turkey
Men and meat. Of course! Every guy should be a meat expert...whether his own or another animal.
15. Use a sewing machine
Uhhh...no. I think I might count this as a "ding" against a guy. A guy should be able to sew a button or a hole...but a sewing machine?
16. Put out a fire
17. Home-brew beer
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric
Oxy Clean guys. Oxy Clean will do wonders.
19. Move heavy stuff
That's not a "skill"...hence why manual labor isn't SKILLED labor. Guys should just DO IT.
20. Grow food
Oh hell no. If a guy has a decent job, he can BUY his food. WTF retarded list writer was this?! Were they desperate for 100 things?!
21. Read an electric meter
22. Shovel the right way
Bend at the knees.
23. Solder wire
24. Tape drywall
25. Split firewood
YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Okay maybe not a requirement...I just have a not-so-secret obsession with guys who chop wood.
26. Replace a faucet washer
27. Mix concrete
28. Paint a straight line
Blue tape with that clear liquid stuff so the paint doesn't seep through the lines?
29. Use a French knife
A WHAT?
30. Prune bushes and small trees
31. Iron a shirt
Oh, so true. Seriously, SERIOUSLY...this is not like using the sewing machine. A guy who can iron a shirt shows refinement and that he's able to interview for a job. Extra props if he knows how to iron a WOMAN'S shirt (different issues...less fabric, but usually fitted and contains stretch.)
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
33. Change a single-pole switch
Yes. Simply: yes.
34. Fell a tree
Does this mean cut a tree and make it fall properly? I dunno...seems like something I'd rather just have an expert do...
35. Replace a broken windowpane
36. Set up a ladder, safely
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
38. Sweat copper tubing
39. Change a diaper
I don't expect a guy without a baby to know how to do this. Girls typically only know how because they had to babysit at some point in their lives. (I'm diaper changing machine yo!)
40. Grill with charcoal
YES! We've had this discussion before. Fire. Nothing is more man than fire. It is man at his most man!
41. Sew a button on a shirt
See my sewing machine comment.
42. Fold a flag
Yeah, because i'll have many opportunities to test a guy's knowledge on this one.
Medical
43. Treat frostbite
44. Treat a burn
45. Help a seizure victim
46. Treat a snakebite
47. Remove a tick
You know, I think Kraig actually could ace every single one of these. Yay for Discovery Channel!
Military Know-How
48. Shine shoes
49. Make a drum-tight bed
I'm actually anti-making the bed. It's ridiculous. I'm going to be back in it in another 16 hours, what's the point? My life is about efficiency. Making the bed is NOT an efficient use of one's time. Cleaning? Yes. Making the bed? That's purely aesthetic. I don't have time for aesthetics anymore in my life.
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
What guy CAN'T do that?
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
52. Hang food in the wild
53. Skipper a boat
54. Shoot straight
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
56. Escape a rip current
I think it's safe to say that all of the above has zero influence in my life. However,it's worth noting for women like Carrie who care about nature, outdoors, and clean air.
Survival
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
58. Build a shelter
59. Find potable water
Yeah...not so important for me. If there's a situation where I need potable water, I expect my guy to go next door and jack my neighbor's Arrowhead water stash.
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
61. Tornados
62. Cold
63. Heat
64. Lightning
How the eff can you test a guy for his TORNADO skillz? Although, I saw 20/20 on how to survive disasters...i'm good. During a tornado, you shoudn't go into a tunnel and cling to something...you need to be low in a ditch somewhere. Realistically, I'll be scooped up like a farm cow.
Teach Your Kids
65. Cast a line
YES. I don't know why this is important. Maybe because my dad is in the Coast Guard and gasp, he taught me how to fish. Granted, I also haven't caught anything since I was 8...but you know...I've gotz the fishing skillz. So a guy should too. ANything involving killing an animal (again: meat. yours or other animals) is very, very important.
66. Lend a hand
That's just etiquette wtf.
67. Change a tire
On so many levels, this is so important. If you're a guy reading this, and you can't do it...well feel free to mail me your balls. I'll see if I can find a spare vagina for you. If you know how to change that at least. Do *I* know how? I could, in theory. As in, I can direct someone. Do i have the strength? Not really. Do I have Geico with roadside assistance? Hell yeah.
68. Throw a spiral
Is this football?
69. Fly a stunt kite
70. Drive a stick shift
This is up there in the top 5 most important things a guy should know. Along with starting a fire. I wish I knew how, but Kraig destroyed his last car that was stick so I never got a chance. I've only ever been with ONE guy who didn't know how to drive stick and it's safe to say my respect level for him was low low lowwwww.
71. Parallel park
Once again, desperate to add to the list maybe? If you passed your road test, you can parallel park. Amazingly I can PP really well on my own...but when someone is in the car attempting to navigate me, I get all freaked out and run over curbs.
72. Tie a bowline
WTF is that?
73. Tie a necktie
74. Whittle
75. Ride a bike
If you can't ride a bike, or teach someone else how to, then you should just do society a favor and kill yourself. Item #101: know how to kill self.
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
It's like installing any other card. But in this day and age of laptops taking over PCs, this isn't so pertinent anymore. It's like, know how to hand crank your car.
77. Take the perfect portrait
Like a guy cares. Wtf. This is a CHICK thing.
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
Or any tv settings. yes, absolutely important.
79. Shoot a home movie
80. Ditch your hard drive
Master These Key Workshop Tools
81. Drill driver
82. Grease gun
83. Coolant hydrometer
84. Socket wrench
85. Test light
86. Brick trowel
87. Framing hammer
88. Wood chisel
89. Spade bit
90. Circular saw
91. Sledge hammer
92. Hacksaw
93. Torque wrench
94. Air wrench
95. Infrared thermometer
96. Sand blaster
97. Crosscut saw
98. Hand plane
99. Multimeter
100. Feeler gauges
I don't know what even half of those are, but it seems like good things to know. Better than sewing that's for damn sure.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
No...really...i adore Paul Rudd
The only sad thing about living on the west coast is that SNL isn't live...I hate seeing that "previously recorded" crap.
Going to visit Rony (aka Tony and Rena) this weekend in LA, but I don't care WHAT time i get home...must...see...Paul...Rudd...
Going to visit Rony (aka Tony and Rena) this weekend in LA, but I don't care WHAT time i get home...must...see...Paul...Rudd...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Of poppies and 2 minute silence
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
For non-Canadian folks: this is what Canadian kids recite in school on Rememberence Day.
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
For non-Canadian folks: this is what Canadian kids recite in school on Rememberence Day.
Brilliant. If you have to read anything, read this.
Hands-down, one of the best things I've ever read. Or just looked at. If you have only ONE thing to read today, you HAVE to see this...i don't know if it makes me feel better about my photoshopping skillz or that I'm human and not airbrushed...
Bad photoshopping mistakes in Hollywood
Bad photoshopping mistakes in Hollywood
Monday, November 10, 2008
I'm going to be sick. Seriously.
I've decided to chart my aging through the years (in case later i might want a record of it...or my kids, if they want to know the exact years their body will fall apart)...my latest beefs are the spider veins in my calves. I RARELY, if ever (I mean, maybe 2x a year) cross my legs because I read as a teenager never to do that.
Well, my calves have them. And it's pissing me off. Yay for Age 31 Woes.
It takes ALOT to gross me out. Alot. I watch Dr. 90210, surgery shows, whatever. I love watching my blood being taken. I would love to SEE a surgery take place.
But when it comes to spider/varicose vein options, i get the heebie jeebies.
If i have to do this, I'm going to seriously vomit my intestinal track.
I just looked up the solution to spider veins and now i'm seriously squirming in my seat, tensing my muscles, and i'm ready to cry I'm so effing freaked out.
Sclerotherapy
This is the most common treatment for both spider veins and varicose veins. The doctor injects a solution into the vein that causes the vein walls to swell, stick together, and seal shut. This stops the flow of blood and the vein turns into scar tissue. In a few weeks, the vein should fade. The same vein may need to be treated more than once.
This treatment is very effective if done the right way. Most patients can expect a 50% to 90% improvement. Microsclerotherapy uses special solutions and injection techniques that increase the success rate for removal of spider veins. Sclerotherapy does not require anesthesia, and can be done in the doctor's office.
Possible side effects include:
Temporary stinging or painful cramps where the injection was made
Temporary red raised patches of skin where the injection was made
Temporary small skin sores where the injection was made
Temporary bruises where the injection was made
Spots around the treated vein that usually disappear
Brown lines around the treated vein that usually disappear
Groups of fine red blood vessels around the treated vein that usually disappear
The treated vein can also become inflamed or develop lumps of clotted blood. This is not dangerous. Applying heat and taking aspirin or antibiotics can relieve inflammation. Lumps of coagulated blood can be drained.
why does the human body f*cking suck?! Or more importantly, MINE?!
So far this is my list of ailments per age:
early 20s: cellulite (i mean, BAD cellulite)
28: forehead wrinkes, signs of age on hands
29: crow's feet, thinning eyelashes
30: thinning hair, undereye wrinkles that DONT shrink back after squinting (and i wear sunglasses diligently! WTF!)
31: spider veins
In order to pre-emptively avoid freaking out over more things, i've taken the following actions:
1. I will just keep dying my hair. I will go postal if i see a grey hair. Might as well just do it now.
2. I've started waxing my chin. Now i don't have anything there, thank GOD, but i once had a bunch of older women telling me that that's a massive thing that happens when you get old. Granted, they were in their late 50s, but who knows when that facial chin hair situation started. I'd rather not deal with one day finding it OR even worse, not even REALIZING i have it. So i'm just going to slather my face with wax regularly and if nothing comes off, great. If so, well, at least i nipped it in the bud before i'm 60.
Attempting to preserve your youth is ALOT of effing work, costs alot of effing money (yay for free samples from plastic surgeons' offices), and TIME which is the hardest of all things to comes by.
Oh, i've also started using the bottle of Phyto-Axil that I bought kraig like 7 years ago from when we started dating. Figured it's in a pressurized can so it can't go bad...
Well, my calves have them. And it's pissing me off. Yay for Age 31 Woes.
It takes ALOT to gross me out. Alot. I watch Dr. 90210, surgery shows, whatever. I love watching my blood being taken. I would love to SEE a surgery take place.
But when it comes to spider/varicose vein options, i get the heebie jeebies.
If i have to do this, I'm going to seriously vomit my intestinal track.
I just looked up the solution to spider veins and now i'm seriously squirming in my seat, tensing my muscles, and i'm ready to cry I'm so effing freaked out.
Sclerotherapy
This is the most common treatment for both spider veins and varicose veins. The doctor injects a solution into the vein that causes the vein walls to swell, stick together, and seal shut. This stops the flow of blood and the vein turns into scar tissue. In a few weeks, the vein should fade. The same vein may need to be treated more than once.
This treatment is very effective if done the right way. Most patients can expect a 50% to 90% improvement. Microsclerotherapy uses special solutions and injection techniques that increase the success rate for removal of spider veins. Sclerotherapy does not require anesthesia, and can be done in the doctor's office.
Possible side effects include:
Temporary stinging or painful cramps where the injection was made
Temporary red raised patches of skin where the injection was made
Temporary small skin sores where the injection was made
Temporary bruises where the injection was made
Spots around the treated vein that usually disappear
Brown lines around the treated vein that usually disappear
Groups of fine red blood vessels around the treated vein that usually disappear
The treated vein can also become inflamed or develop lumps of clotted blood. This is not dangerous. Applying heat and taking aspirin or antibiotics can relieve inflammation. Lumps of coagulated blood can be drained.
why does the human body f*cking suck?! Or more importantly, MINE?!
So far this is my list of ailments per age:
early 20s: cellulite (i mean, BAD cellulite)
28: forehead wrinkes, signs of age on hands
29: crow's feet, thinning eyelashes
30: thinning hair, undereye wrinkles that DONT shrink back after squinting (and i wear sunglasses diligently! WTF!)
31: spider veins
In order to pre-emptively avoid freaking out over more things, i've taken the following actions:
1. I will just keep dying my hair. I will go postal if i see a grey hair. Might as well just do it now.
2. I've started waxing my chin. Now i don't have anything there, thank GOD, but i once had a bunch of older women telling me that that's a massive thing that happens when you get old. Granted, they were in their late 50s, but who knows when that facial chin hair situation started. I'd rather not deal with one day finding it OR even worse, not even REALIZING i have it. So i'm just going to slather my face with wax regularly and if nothing comes off, great. If so, well, at least i nipped it in the bud before i'm 60.
Attempting to preserve your youth is ALOT of effing work, costs alot of effing money (yay for free samples from plastic surgeons' offices), and TIME which is the hardest of all things to comes by.
Oh, i've also started using the bottle of Phyto-Axil that I bought kraig like 7 years ago from when we started dating. Figured it's in a pressurized can so it can't go bad...
Friday, November 07, 2008
San Jose trip + pics + adventures in hooking up
i'm so behind on posting pics, it's unreal. Here's the link to my trek to San Jose a few weekends ago:
yee haw pic link
A few key notes:
I bought a Sony Bravia XBR 32" 1080p tv. With an employee discount. That with taxes and additional warranty (if i could get insurance for my soul, i would. I insure EVERYTHING), came to around $1100. SADLY...our house is pre-wired for satellite, but it's a coaxial cable, not an HDMI cable...kraig's frickin' 1080i tv is downstairs connected to the box, so we get HD there fine...but in order to get HD on my tv in the bedroom, we need to run an HDMI cable from downstairs to upstairs. GRRRR! If i had known taht, i woudln't have made my "impulse" buy.
Also, these pics have include some of a dude in a bar (shutterfly wont allow me to link their pics anymore to post elsewhere...damn you shutterfly! time to check out Kodak's site)...I believe Jen spotted him first, this adorable guy wearing a USC shirt. I did some reconnaissance work and learned he was single, a journalist, and very willing to buy a chick a beer. So we shoved Wendy his way and then bailed to head back to Jen's place. What seems like a lifetime later Wendy finally shows up...and tells us that the poor sap was young and boring!
Dude was HOT...boring is a non-issue.
I'm so glad i got to see my san jose peeps! Thanks you guys for coming out :)
yee haw pic link
A few key notes:
I bought a Sony Bravia XBR 32" 1080p tv. With an employee discount. That with taxes and additional warranty (if i could get insurance for my soul, i would. I insure EVERYTHING), came to around $1100. SADLY...our house is pre-wired for satellite, but it's a coaxial cable, not an HDMI cable...kraig's frickin' 1080i tv is downstairs connected to the box, so we get HD there fine...but in order to get HD on my tv in the bedroom, we need to run an HDMI cable from downstairs to upstairs. GRRRR! If i had known taht, i woudln't have made my "impulse" buy.
Also, these pics have include some of a dude in a bar (shutterfly wont allow me to link their pics anymore to post elsewhere...damn you shutterfly! time to check out Kodak's site)...I believe Jen spotted him first, this adorable guy wearing a USC shirt. I did some reconnaissance work and learned he was single, a journalist, and very willing to buy a chick a beer. So we shoved Wendy his way and then bailed to head back to Jen's place. What seems like a lifetime later Wendy finally shows up...and tells us that the poor sap was young and boring!
Dude was HOT...boring is a non-issue.
I'm so glad i got to see my san jose peeps! Thanks you guys for coming out :)
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Letter to the editor
You can do it Sabina..U can train to be a marathon runner...
try a half marathon 1st. Come on goal by your 35th birthday :)
I will defer to Carrie to answer why I will not even be able to do a half marathon. (her experience coming from someone who did a marathon AND as someone who did a piddly 5k with me)
and to whatever she says, let me add: marathons do jack up your body...I have a jacked up knee (it burns after 10 minutes of running), you lose your toes, you get chafing and bloody, and it's super hard on the joints. Ummm...I'm too vain to do any activity that can cause any of those results.
If there was a 100% guarantee Ryan Reynolds will be there, then I'll reconsider :P
try a half marathon 1st. Come on goal by your 35th birthday :)
I will defer to Carrie to answer why I will not even be able to do a half marathon. (her experience coming from someone who did a marathon AND as someone who did a piddly 5k with me)
and to whatever she says, let me add: marathons do jack up your body...I have a jacked up knee (it burns after 10 minutes of running), you lose your toes, you get chafing and bloody, and it's super hard on the joints. Ummm...I'm too vain to do any activity that can cause any of those results.
If there was a 100% guarantee Ryan Reynolds will be there, then I'll reconsider :P
Picture of Dorian Gray
Maybe because the end is nigh on my 31st year, i'm starting to really, REALLY freak out about getting old.
It all started when i was 18...but that was a bit easier 'cause that's legal drinking age in Canada.
Then turning 20 was hard because I remember when I was 5 I told myself "when i get old, when i turn 20, i'm going to use creams like mom does". I seriously went a bit postal. But...there's only so much postal you can go when you're in university.
25 was hard because...well now you're in your mid-20s.
26 was hard because i was no longer "just turned mid 20s".
27 was hard because I could no longer ride on the coattails of 25 like i did when i was 26.
28 was hard because I was now "late 20s"
29 was hard because it was my last year in my 20s.
30 was hard because...well hello, I was 30. And not at all where i wanted to be in my life. PLUS...let's be real. When you're in your teens and 20s, your 30s are considered old. All things young and stupid must officially be over.
When you're 30, you can't wear sparkly blue eyeshadow clubbing unless it's hallowe'en.
31 wasn't so bad, mostly because I freaked out so much the previous few years, i sort of got it out of my system.
Now the number doesn't bug me anymore...I'm over it.
What REALLY bugs me are the physical changes.
Cellulite seems to grow exponentially each year. And I'm in the same weight range as I was in highschool.
Botox is too expensive, but it was the best preventative thing I had ever done. If there's ONE thing i could do every 6 months, that would be it.
I use Oil of Olay Regenerist because it got the highest reviews on Consumer Reports. If i use CR to buy my washer, dryer, and car...damn right i'm going to trust it for my skin.
I started dying my hair when I moved to California because the sun here lightens my natural color a few shades...so I just dye it back to the roots color. NOW...i've realized this is the perfect way to never have to face when i get grey hair. Seriously the odd time I've thought i've seen a grey hair, I went beserk. Best to treat hair dye as botox: preventative. (except in this case, it's preventing mental insanity).
Probably the best solution long term has been getting a prescription for Tetracycline...i'm horrible at taking it, but damn if my skin isn't flawless when i use it. All parents should take their teen for a prescription. I gave some of mine to Kraig's nephew and within a week his face was all cleared up. AND you don't build resistance to it like cipro. AND it's covered under insurance. Golden.
There's a few more "projects" related to aging that i need to tackle:
1. Wrinkles. Can't afford botox...and there's only so much Oil of Olay that can be slathered on.
2. The undereye situation. I used to be VERY self-conscious over teh dark circles under my eyes (thanks Dad...inherited those from the Indian side of me). But i noticed from the NY pics that I've got "furrows" now under the dark circles...I can use concealer for the circles, but i can't cover up deep grooves.
3. My thinning hair. Argh even Syl noticed it when she came here...compared to highschool, it's soooo much less. The culprit is definitely the daily blowdrying...plus the horrible diet i've had this year (damn job hopping and stress). So i'm working on that by eating better now finally, taking vitamins, and avoiding the blow dryer.
4. My thinning eyelashes. This I blame on mascara. I only started wearing it when i moved to SoCal...i was quite anti-mascara because when you see somene go WITHOUT, they look like ass. I just didn't want to give people the view of how i WOULD look...but then I got vain and started using it daily. i'm trying to now just use it on the very tips of my eyelashes.
To tackle item 4, i did a massive MASSIVE splurge: i got Age Intervention. That sh*t better work (it got recalled but they brought it back...naturally without the working ingredient that also jacked up people's eyes).
Why is it that women work their asses off to preserve their beauty but guys do JACK?! They don't fix their newfound nose hair, their newfound earhair, their additional back hair, their lack of head hair, their skin, everything. Unless their married and their wives make them. So bloody annoying. Plus they get overweight, they just have to go to the gym for a week and suddenly their all buff.
So anyway, this was my news flash. My age doesn't but me as much anymore. AGING now really, really bugs me. Spread the news.
It all started when i was 18...but that was a bit easier 'cause that's legal drinking age in Canada.
Then turning 20 was hard because I remember when I was 5 I told myself "when i get old, when i turn 20, i'm going to use creams like mom does". I seriously went a bit postal. But...there's only so much postal you can go when you're in university.
25 was hard because...well now you're in your mid-20s.
26 was hard because i was no longer "just turned mid 20s".
27 was hard because I could no longer ride on the coattails of 25 like i did when i was 26.
28 was hard because I was now "late 20s"
29 was hard because it was my last year in my 20s.
30 was hard because...well hello, I was 30. And not at all where i wanted to be in my life. PLUS...let's be real. When you're in your teens and 20s, your 30s are considered old. All things young and stupid must officially be over.
When you're 30, you can't wear sparkly blue eyeshadow clubbing unless it's hallowe'en.
31 wasn't so bad, mostly because I freaked out so much the previous few years, i sort of got it out of my system.
Now the number doesn't bug me anymore...I'm over it.
What REALLY bugs me are the physical changes.
Cellulite seems to grow exponentially each year. And I'm in the same weight range as I was in highschool.
Botox is too expensive, but it was the best preventative thing I had ever done. If there's ONE thing i could do every 6 months, that would be it.
I use Oil of Olay Regenerist because it got the highest reviews on Consumer Reports. If i use CR to buy my washer, dryer, and car...damn right i'm going to trust it for my skin.
I started dying my hair when I moved to California because the sun here lightens my natural color a few shades...so I just dye it back to the roots color. NOW...i've realized this is the perfect way to never have to face when i get grey hair. Seriously the odd time I've thought i've seen a grey hair, I went beserk. Best to treat hair dye as botox: preventative. (except in this case, it's preventing mental insanity).
Probably the best solution long term has been getting a prescription for Tetracycline...i'm horrible at taking it, but damn if my skin isn't flawless when i use it. All parents should take their teen for a prescription. I gave some of mine to Kraig's nephew and within a week his face was all cleared up. AND you don't build resistance to it like cipro. AND it's covered under insurance. Golden.
There's a few more "projects" related to aging that i need to tackle:
1. Wrinkles. Can't afford botox...and there's only so much Oil of Olay that can be slathered on.
2. The undereye situation. I used to be VERY self-conscious over teh dark circles under my eyes (thanks Dad...inherited those from the Indian side of me). But i noticed from the NY pics that I've got "furrows" now under the dark circles...I can use concealer for the circles, but i can't cover up deep grooves.
3. My thinning hair. Argh even Syl noticed it when she came here...compared to highschool, it's soooo much less. The culprit is definitely the daily blowdrying...plus the horrible diet i've had this year (damn job hopping and stress). So i'm working on that by eating better now finally, taking vitamins, and avoiding the blow dryer.
4. My thinning eyelashes. This I blame on mascara. I only started wearing it when i moved to SoCal...i was quite anti-mascara because when you see somene go WITHOUT, they look like ass. I just didn't want to give people the view of how i WOULD look...but then I got vain and started using it daily. i'm trying to now just use it on the very tips of my eyelashes.
To tackle item 4, i did a massive MASSIVE splurge: i got Age Intervention. That sh*t better work (it got recalled but they brought it back...naturally without the working ingredient that also jacked up people's eyes).
Why is it that women work their asses off to preserve their beauty but guys do JACK?! They don't fix their newfound nose hair, their newfound earhair, their additional back hair, their lack of head hair, their skin, everything. Unless their married and their wives make them. So bloody annoying. Plus they get overweight, they just have to go to the gym for a week and suddenly their all buff.
So anyway, this was my news flash. My age doesn't but me as much anymore. AGING now really, really bugs me. Spread the news.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Does running a marthon count if you're stalking someone?
Yes, so many blogs to post, pictures to post...haven't been around...I still need to post my San Jose trip stuff...and tomorrow i gotta get around to posting a Canadian's Guide to Voting in America.
But for now, I give you his royal hotness, Ryan Reynolds,who ran the NY city marathon this past weekend. First off, I was just IN new york...they couldn't have had that damn marathon a few weeks earlier? Secondly, why am I not training for marathons if he's going to be in them? And Thirdly, why didn't that mofo run the San Diego one, which I was there for?!
Okay so I wouldn't train either way, but Carrie or Janet could and then I'd have an excuse to watch. Although, really, if I'm following behind him...does that count as stalking...for 4 hours?
Boy is fiiiiine. so damn fine. They really need to bring back 2 Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place so that I can see him weekly. F*cking ScarJo.
But for now, I give you his royal hotness, Ryan Reynolds,who ran the NY city marathon this past weekend. First off, I was just IN new york...they couldn't have had that damn marathon a few weeks earlier? Secondly, why am I not training for marathons if he's going to be in them? And Thirdly, why didn't that mofo run the San Diego one, which I was there for?!
Okay so I wouldn't train either way, but Carrie or Janet could and then I'd have an excuse to watch. Although, really, if I'm following behind him...does that count as stalking...for 4 hours?
Boy is fiiiiine. so damn fine. They really need to bring back 2 Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place so that I can see him weekly. F*cking ScarJo.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Best. Site. Ever. Period.
If i ever had to live on a deserted island and I was only allowed one website, I would have to pick this blog, hands down:
Blonde cube dweller: I can't get this damn profile to load. Now my screen froze! Fuck this, I'll be a stripper!
I get it straight as an RSS feed to my inbox, and I can honestly say it is the only thing that consistently makes me HAPPY.
THIS SITE MAKES ME HAPPY. Happier than Poutine, dare I say it.
People just post snippets of the retarded crap they've overheard at work. they're mostly just one-liners. Some great ones:
Supervisor: Can you send this letter to The Netherlands?
Receptionist: Where's Neverland?
Male coworker to female coworker: I like your shirt.
Female coworker: Thanks. It's new.
Male coworker: The ruching makes your boobs look really perky.
(awkward pause)
Male coworker: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm gay.
Female worker: Yeah, you had me at "ruching"
(omg i'm crying laughing as I post these)
Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
(in the restroom)
Man #1: You wanna shake it for me when I'm done?
Man #2: What would your wife think?
Man #1: As long as it's not a woman, she doesn't care.
Coworker: Stephanie [the manager] isn't here, so we can say "taint" and "dirty sanchez" all we want!
Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
Girl: I've read To Kill a Mockingbird.
Manager of maintenance staff, yelling to distant peons: Have you seen a bag with two turkey basters and a jar of vaseline?
I swear this is something that *I* would say:
Coworker #1: You know, Diana* is leaving to move to Austin.
Coworker #2 (bitter and disappointed): I hate it when people leave.
Coworker #3: Really? I like it because we get snacks.
This is real stuff people! Too funny.
Sales peon: You'll have to excuse my intelligence, sir.
Nosey cube dweller: What are you doing after work?
Neighbor of nosey cube drone: Minding my own business. Why, what are you doing?
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
ONE OF THE BEST ONES:
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Customer: It smells like incest in here... Wait, no, incense.
Manager: How dare my BlackBerry not know how to spell "transvestite?" That's just rude
Teacher: I just love children!
(silence in the room)
Teacher: Medically speaking, of course...
Cube dweller #1: So then "groom," like the horse kind.
Cube dweller #2: Uh, okay, or like the husband.
Cube dweller #3: Or the thing you clean your kitchen with.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, that's a "broom."
Consultant #1 (reading online purity test): Have you ever slept with a relative?
Consultant #2: Define "relative."
Blonde cube dweller: I can't get this damn profile to load. Now my screen froze! Fuck this, I'll be a stripper!
I get it straight as an RSS feed to my inbox, and I can honestly say it is the only thing that consistently makes me HAPPY.
THIS SITE MAKES ME HAPPY. Happier than Poutine, dare I say it.
People just post snippets of the retarded crap they've overheard at work. they're mostly just one-liners. Some great ones:
Supervisor: Can you send this letter to The Netherlands?
Receptionist: Where's Neverland?
Male coworker to female coworker: I like your shirt.
Female coworker: Thanks. It's new.
Male coworker: The ruching makes your boobs look really perky.
(awkward pause)
Male coworker: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm gay.
Female worker: Yeah, you had me at "ruching"
(omg i'm crying laughing as I post these)
Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
(in the restroom)
Man #1: You wanna shake it for me when I'm done?
Man #2: What would your wife think?
Man #1: As long as it's not a woman, she doesn't care.
Coworker: Stephanie [the manager] isn't here, so we can say "taint" and "dirty sanchez" all we want!
Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
Girl: I've read To Kill a Mockingbird.
Manager of maintenance staff, yelling to distant peons: Have you seen a bag with two turkey basters and a jar of vaseline?
I swear this is something that *I* would say:
Coworker #1: You know, Diana* is leaving to move to Austin.
Coworker #2 (bitter and disappointed): I hate it when people leave.
Coworker #3: Really? I like it because we get snacks.
This is real stuff people! Too funny.
Sales peon: You'll have to excuse my intelligence, sir.
Nosey cube dweller: What are you doing after work?
Neighbor of nosey cube drone: Minding my own business. Why, what are you doing?
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
ONE OF THE BEST ONES:
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Customer: It smells like incest in here... Wait, no, incense.
Manager: How dare my BlackBerry not know how to spell "transvestite?" That's just rude
Teacher: I just love children!
(silence in the room)
Teacher: Medically speaking, of course...
Cube dweller #1: So then "groom," like the horse kind.
Cube dweller #2: Uh, okay, or like the husband.
Cube dweller #3: Or the thing you clean your kitchen with.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, that's a "broom."
Consultant #1 (reading online purity test): Have you ever slept with a relative?
Consultant #2: Define "relative."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
It's official. I'm a cougar. Argh.
So the easy way to define a cougar is to take your age, divide it by 2, add 7. That's PUSHING IT big time. And yes, that math only works over the age of 14.
At my age, that makes anyone under 22.5 to be WAY too young for me. Now I'm married, so fortunately it's not like I need to go looking online for cougar bars in the OC.
However I have become OBSESSED with Jesse McCartney's song "Leavin'", which only ingrains the notion that I have all the musical tastes of a 15 year old girl. Well suck it, the words are fun and the beat's upbeat and good too.
Note: i have a thing for songs that are well..."lyrically" well written. Not even that they rhyme, but that they just flow in perfect sync.
Then i saw the video, and realized dude totally grew up and became HOT. Like, really, really hot. And this video is what I would call "innocently sexy and hot". Makes me want to roll around on a mattress...without a bedsheet. And more importantly, Jesse M is adorable. Like, I-want-to-violate-him-adorable. Even though he's only 21. Argh. He has the most incredible hair (why do older guys think that us women don't notice hair? MEN get your hair cut, wtf don't let it get scruffy. And yes, we notice when you're balding. Get some rogaine or Propecia on that ish. Hell, I used rogaine when i thought MY hair was thinning,which really turned out to be stress, but point is that if us women can suck it up and take care of our aging flaws, so can you. And the point is that his hair is AWESOME and every guy should aspire to have his hair. Note to my husband: yes, you still have PLENTY of hair despite the other hair conversation we had today when i told you that i wanted you to rip all of my arm hair off and we discussed something that went along with that....).
My only beef is that although his wardrobe is probably very pricey, his grey trousers annoy the bleep out of me.
But he's just so damn hot in this video, and I like his sweater, I'll make an exception. The part where he says "let it rain" and does that thing with his fingers...well let me just say that the 15 year old girl in me is screaming and crying like it's NKOTB all over again (I never saw NKOTB in concert, and I wouldn't cry, but you get the drift.)
Is it just me or does she have weird jaw bones?
And why the eff do I think this is the sexiest line ever? Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen
I need help!
At my age, that makes anyone under 22.5 to be WAY too young for me. Now I'm married, so fortunately it's not like I need to go looking online for cougar bars in the OC.
However I have become OBSESSED with Jesse McCartney's song "Leavin'", which only ingrains the notion that I have all the musical tastes of a 15 year old girl. Well suck it, the words are fun and the beat's upbeat and good too.
Note: i have a thing for songs that are well..."lyrically" well written. Not even that they rhyme, but that they just flow in perfect sync.
Then i saw the video, and realized dude totally grew up and became HOT. Like, really, really hot. And this video is what I would call "innocently sexy and hot". Makes me want to roll around on a mattress...without a bedsheet. And more importantly, Jesse M is adorable. Like, I-want-to-violate-him-adorable. Even though he's only 21. Argh. He has the most incredible hair (why do older guys think that us women don't notice hair? MEN get your hair cut, wtf don't let it get scruffy. And yes, we notice when you're balding. Get some rogaine or Propecia on that ish. Hell, I used rogaine when i thought MY hair was thinning,which really turned out to be stress, but point is that if us women can suck it up and take care of our aging flaws, so can you. And the point is that his hair is AWESOME and every guy should aspire to have his hair. Note to my husband: yes, you still have PLENTY of hair despite the other hair conversation we had today when i told you that i wanted you to rip all of my arm hair off and we discussed something that went along with that....).
My only beef is that although his wardrobe is probably very pricey, his grey trousers annoy the bleep out of me.
But he's just so damn hot in this video, and I like his sweater, I'll make an exception. The part where he says "let it rain" and does that thing with his fingers...well let me just say that the 15 year old girl in me is screaming and crying like it's NKOTB all over again (I never saw NKOTB in concert, and I wouldn't cry, but you get the drift.)
Is it just me or does she have weird jaw bones?
And why the eff do I think this is the sexiest line ever? Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen
I need help!
Shut up and hydrate bitch! (Picture post)
Ahhh, some one liners never get old.
Pics from tonight in Laguna Beach...good times with the girls. It's incredible how much time flies by and you realize that you don't see your friends as often as you wish you could.
Mmmm...peri peri sauce is good...except when Sabina goes and spills Nicole's wine...
Check it, it's the closest look i'll have have to having boobs:
I swear I'm the perfect candidate for a Judy Blume book.
Pics from tonight in Laguna Beach...good times with the girls. It's incredible how much time flies by and you realize that you don't see your friends as often as you wish you could.
Mmmm...peri peri sauce is good...except when Sabina goes and spills Nicole's wine...
Check it, it's the closest look i'll have have to having boobs:
I swear I'm the perfect candidate for a Judy Blume book.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Carrie and Sabina (and Nicole's) Excellent NY Adventure
Last week I went to NY for the first time with Carrie for our friend Liz's wedding, met up with Nicole there...I can honestly say it's been a long, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time since I laughed as much as I did on this trip. Maybe because I was both sleep and shower deprived, and Carrie is one of the funniest people you'll ever meet.
Just like San Diego...only dirtier, louder, and more expensive...and yet, still pretty dope.
Here was the plan (bear with me):
1. Red-eye on Wednesday. Arrive Thursday morning.
2. Thursday get a rental car, spend the day in Manhattan. Everyone told us that it would take HOURS with traffic. Turns out we had zerrrrrooo traffic...to quote Alanna "It's Yom Kippur. 75% of the city is in temple".
3. Saw WEEKS' worth of tourism in a single day. Everything south of Central Park. I'm not kidding. Did MOMA in 45 minutes. Saw ground zero, took some pics, ran to Century 21 only to discover it was closed for the holiday, got some S'Mac on with Carrie's Ohio friend Tara (soooo sweet, and her kids are adorable too), got to see my beloved Chelsea Market (Food Network bitches!)...you name it....
4. Drove up Thursday night to Fishkill. Which is the boondocks north of the city.
5. Friday morning I slept in like a MOFO. Got ready. Went to the wedding in Cold Spring (ummm is it bad that we entered on the heels of the bride?)
6. Killed time by changing in the car, shopped around Cold Springs, then changed again in some forest with a dude in a red truck driving back and forth...fortunately I was changing in the back, where the windows were tinted...maybe he caught a nip slip from Carrie.
7. Went to Garrison, had an UNBELIEVABLE time at the reception. Went to the after party in the hotel next to ours in Fishkill.
8. Slept in some more, then Nicole Carrie and I drove to Ossining to see Jeff and Liz's SUPER AMAZING HOUSE WHY DO HOMES IN ORANGE COUNTY SUCK SO BAD...their home (and backyard) is enough to make me want to move to NY!
9. Did some nature walk in Rockefeller park...
10. Went back to the city, vegged out with Nicole's college buddy Kit...walked EVERYWHERE (over 30 blocks)...
11. Drove to the ghettoooo (some area called Jamaica...much like the real Jamaica, i was ready to be robbed) where our hotel was near the airport...
12. Got up ridiculously early Sun morning and flew back.
And that was NY in a nutshell.
For the pics...
I'm in AWE of the Olive Garden in Times Square. You don't understand...my mission in life is to eat there. This might trump my desire to go to Italy. I want a window seat in this Olive Garden sometime between now and the day I die:
Let me tell you about Canal street. I wanted to go because last year I saw the knockoffs that my friend Wendy got when she went. It was nuts. Cops were everywhere, and there's people whispering "whaddiya want?"...they would have laminated pictures of Coach or LV merchandise, you say what you want, then they run off to some van to get your requested item. The trick when you go into a shop is to say "hey, where do you keep the Coach stuff"...then they take you through some secret hidden door where there's a teenie room with the REAL knockoffs. Well Carrie and I get locked in a room (with this huge black guy who was also buying stuff for his "bih-niz")...after we both got horrible Gucci knockoffs, I realized we couldn't get out. There's this crazy locking system...the chick inside with us had to get on her walkie-talkie to get someone on the OUTSIDE to buzz us out. Crazy! If there had been a fire, we would have been fried along with dozens of horrible Gucci and Coach knockoffs. The price you pay for fashion!
Nicole perfected my infamous "side shoulder" pose:
Us girls with the gorgeous bride...it's been too long since we've all been together! And can someone PLEASE explain to me why natural light makes us all look older?! Thank God I don't have a job that requires me to be in natural light all day, ughhghghgh this is why I think botox is the shiz (note to self: inject some fat under my eyes...and into my boobs...).
I didn't have the extra camera battery so I'll have to wait till Carrie gets hers up online to post the rest of them (minus any drunken debauchery pics of course!)
Just like San Diego...only dirtier, louder, and more expensive...and yet, still pretty dope.
Here was the plan (bear with me):
1. Red-eye on Wednesday. Arrive Thursday morning.
2. Thursday get a rental car, spend the day in Manhattan. Everyone told us that it would take HOURS with traffic. Turns out we had zerrrrrooo traffic...to quote Alanna "It's Yom Kippur. 75% of the city is in temple".
3. Saw WEEKS' worth of tourism in a single day. Everything south of Central Park. I'm not kidding. Did MOMA in 45 minutes. Saw ground zero, took some pics, ran to Century 21 only to discover it was closed for the holiday, got some S'Mac on with Carrie's Ohio friend Tara (soooo sweet, and her kids are adorable too), got to see my beloved Chelsea Market (Food Network bitches!)...you name it....
4. Drove up Thursday night to Fishkill. Which is the boondocks north of the city.
5. Friday morning I slept in like a MOFO. Got ready. Went to the wedding in Cold Spring (ummm is it bad that we entered on the heels of the bride?)
6. Killed time by changing in the car, shopped around Cold Springs, then changed again in some forest with a dude in a red truck driving back and forth...fortunately I was changing in the back, where the windows were tinted...maybe he caught a nip slip from Carrie.
7. Went to Garrison, had an UNBELIEVABLE time at the reception. Went to the after party in the hotel next to ours in Fishkill.
8. Slept in some more, then Nicole Carrie and I drove to Ossining to see Jeff and Liz's SUPER AMAZING HOUSE WHY DO HOMES IN ORANGE COUNTY SUCK SO BAD...their home (and backyard) is enough to make me want to move to NY!
9. Did some nature walk in Rockefeller park...
10. Went back to the city, vegged out with Nicole's college buddy Kit...walked EVERYWHERE (over 30 blocks)...
11. Drove to the ghettoooo (some area called Jamaica...much like the real Jamaica, i was ready to be robbed) where our hotel was near the airport...
12. Got up ridiculously early Sun morning and flew back.
And that was NY in a nutshell.
For the pics...
I'm in AWE of the Olive Garden in Times Square. You don't understand...my mission in life is to eat there. This might trump my desire to go to Italy. I want a window seat in this Olive Garden sometime between now and the day I die:
Let me tell you about Canal street. I wanted to go because last year I saw the knockoffs that my friend Wendy got when she went. It was nuts. Cops were everywhere, and there's people whispering "whaddiya want?"...they would have laminated pictures of Coach or LV merchandise, you say what you want, then they run off to some van to get your requested item. The trick when you go into a shop is to say "hey, where do you keep the Coach stuff"...then they take you through some secret hidden door where there's a teenie room with the REAL knockoffs. Well Carrie and I get locked in a room (with this huge black guy who was also buying stuff for his "bih-niz")...after we both got horrible Gucci knockoffs, I realized we couldn't get out. There's this crazy locking system...the chick inside with us had to get on her walkie-talkie to get someone on the OUTSIDE to buzz us out. Crazy! If there had been a fire, we would have been fried along with dozens of horrible Gucci and Coach knockoffs. The price you pay for fashion!
Nicole perfected my infamous "side shoulder" pose:
Us girls with the gorgeous bride...it's been too long since we've all been together! And can someone PLEASE explain to me why natural light makes us all look older?! Thank God I don't have a job that requires me to be in natural light all day, ughhghghgh this is why I think botox is the shiz (note to self: inject some fat under my eyes...and into my boobs...).
I didn't have the extra camera battery so I'll have to wait till Carrie gets hers up online to post the rest of them (minus any drunken debauchery pics of course!)
Pics from Canada!
At last...finally uploaded all the pics on Shutterfly from the Ottawa trip. Oh the glitz and the glamour! And how I miss it :(
Oh Canada...our home and native land...
Note that this was the bank that USED to be National Trust, the bank I worked at (eep...over ten years ago!)
And yes, I've got pics of the infamous BCBG red dress (worn last week on Dancing With The Stars...without Samantha Harris' stupid belt) that I tried on in Ottawa, later bought in OC, and destroyed in New York (can't show all of it because Syl's wedding dress is in the background):
I also got stuck going to the Mer Bleue Bog...i f*cking HATE the bog. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. Plus it was freezing, so I was stuck wearing my dad's sweatshirt. Want to know how much I hated it? Check it:
I found this makeshift button that was taken when Erin, Stace and I volunteered for some Ronald McDonald House fashion show...in 8th grade?
I love that Nat drove all the way from Montreal just to have breakfast with me for ONE hour (yeah, she looks high here)...and that through a fluke I ran into Jay and then saw him a ton during my stay :)
Sigh...can I go back now?
Oh Canada...our home and native land...
Note that this was the bank that USED to be National Trust, the bank I worked at (eep...over ten years ago!)
And yes, I've got pics of the infamous BCBG red dress (worn last week on Dancing With The Stars...without Samantha Harris' stupid belt) that I tried on in Ottawa, later bought in OC, and destroyed in New York (can't show all of it because Syl's wedding dress is in the background):
I also got stuck going to the Mer Bleue Bog...i f*cking HATE the bog. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. Plus it was freezing, so I was stuck wearing my dad's sweatshirt. Want to know how much I hated it? Check it:
I found this makeshift button that was taken when Erin, Stace and I volunteered for some Ronald McDonald House fashion show...in 8th grade?
I love that Nat drove all the way from Montreal just to have breakfast with me for ONE hour (yeah, she looks high here)...and that through a fluke I ran into Jay and then saw him a ton during my stay :)
Sigh...can I go back now?
And this is why I seriously need therapy
So I'm finally getting around to posting pics and blogging about Ottawa and NY...
Now I had mentioned previously that my mother is obsessed with stocking up on paper goods. Didn't believe me? Here's what I found when I was home...and this doesn't include her stashes that i DIDN'T find!
This is from my old closet in the basement:
Here's the kleenex stash she's got in the basement cupboard:
This is the TP stash in one of the upstairs bedrooms:
This one cracks me up the most. This is the stash under the basement stairs. Not only is there TP, but those boxes to the right of the safe are all kleenex boxes, and seriously this stash goes up to my waist!
Here's the stash in my mom's closet:
I couldn't even TELL you which closet this is from:
Here's the ghetto TP holder my dad got at some garage sale (a new habit my parents have adopted since my brother and I moved out):
This is one side of the entryway hallway:
And here's the other side:
FINALLY....i went to stash some stuff in my old bathroom drawer, but instead I had no room because I found this:
I swear I'm not crazy...my parents made me this way!
Now I had mentioned previously that my mother is obsessed with stocking up on paper goods. Didn't believe me? Here's what I found when I was home...and this doesn't include her stashes that i DIDN'T find!
This is from my old closet in the basement:
Here's the kleenex stash she's got in the basement cupboard:
This is the TP stash in one of the upstairs bedrooms:
This one cracks me up the most. This is the stash under the basement stairs. Not only is there TP, but those boxes to the right of the safe are all kleenex boxes, and seriously this stash goes up to my waist!
Here's the stash in my mom's closet:
I couldn't even TELL you which closet this is from:
Here's the ghetto TP holder my dad got at some garage sale (a new habit my parents have adopted since my brother and I moved out):
This is one side of the entryway hallway:
And here's the other side:
FINALLY....i went to stash some stuff in my old bathroom drawer, but instead I had no room because I found this:
I swear I'm not crazy...my parents made me this way!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Back to the land of the living!
Done!
I'm back!
All the travels!
All the pictures!
So much to write!
And most importantly...I'm writing this on my BRAND NEW LAPTOP...my baby! It's pretty! It's also alot heavier than I thought (that's what you get for performance)...
Stay tuned for more writing finally...yee haw! I have a pulse!
I'm back!
All the travels!
All the pictures!
So much to write!
And most importantly...I'm writing this on my BRAND NEW LAPTOP...my baby! It's pretty! It's also alot heavier than I thought (that's what you get for performance)...
Stay tuned for more writing finally...yee haw! I have a pulse!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Canada Trip: Days 3-7
Oh where oh where is Sabinas latest blog about the Emmys and the red carpet crazy outfits???
Nothin here for me to read about your opinions and thoughts!
She's in Canada...with no DVR and no time to watch tv (gasp)...I didn't even know the Emmys were on...
So I've totallys lacked on writing, mostly because Kraig was here and he spent more time on the laptop my dad's got in the basement than I did.
Friday was a day of shopping, picking up Kraig, more shopping (saw Syl's wedding dress, gorgeous, and tried on the most AMAZING red dress from BCBG. It's sad when Kraig is like "who cares that it's $340cdn. You HAVE to buy it. HAVE TO."), then did this all you can eat sushi thing. Then Kraig met my dad, which went exactly as I figured it would: my dad was friendly, cheery, all that good stuff. He even gave Kraig a HUG...my dad hasn't hugged me since I took the plane ride to move to California 8 years ago.
Day 4, Saturday, we got our Caveau de Schezwan on...it's a sit-down buffet. To die for. For real. Then we wandered around the market till 5:30, where my partayyyy night got on...hung out at Lonestar, drank like mad, and saw dozens of friends I haven't seen in ages. I was jonesin' for Poutine, and I had promised Bryan that my first time having poutine would be with him. Well Lonestar doesn't have poutine, so I went next door to Dunn's ordered gravy and cheese curds (also got a side of fries, only because they charged me for the whole damn poutine so I figured i might as well take the fries as well even though I had a plate of fries waiting for me back at Lonestar)...went back to Lonestar, and proceeded with my "do it yourself poutine"...so, so good...
After that, headed out to a lounge...went home, all good times...i had SO MUCH FUN (Thank you thank you thank you Bryan for organizing it!)
Sunday was The Bog day, which pretty uneventful....
Monday at 3:30am woke up to take Kraig to the airport, only to have the plane break and he then missed his connecting flight, sohe got back to LA pretty late. I spent the day with Christine and her boys (I am beyond impressed with her ability to maintain total calm in the face of chaos), got my poutine on with Bryan later :)
And finally, today, Day 7...got to see Erin at work, got to see Stacey's house and meet her adorable little girl Faith, got to chill for a bit with Sylvia and her mom, and got to enjoy my mother bitching me out for something so incredibly retarded. My dad agreed to drop me off at Syl's mom's house because he needed the car, and Syl offered to drive me home...this concept rocked my mother's foundations and she went into serious hysterics. I have no idea why. My dad and I were like "WHAT is your problem woman!?!"...
Tonight she wanted me to go through some of the crap I still have at home so I can pack stuff up to take home. Her logic is that my brother and i still have too much crap in our house (well, her house, whatever) and that she wants to clear stuff out. BUT...thing is, she's a PACK RAT. I've found over the course of the past few days things that i know 100% for sure that I threw out last time I was here (uhhh my Dangerous Minds soundtrack cassette? This ghetto VHS on makeup application?!)...so WHY am I throwing things out only to have her go back and insist that she may need it?!
She's also mad because she figures all I had to do was see my friends ONCE and that would be sufficient...ummm, no, i'm going to max out every second that i can with my friends since the next time I see them will be...who knows! (Okay it might be sooner than we think if Syl has a post-elopement reception in ottawa)
Going to Toronto for the next 2 days, and then Friday will be my last day...sniff...this has honestly been one of the most awesome trips EVER. I wish I could stop time...it's amazing how homesick I am. I went to the grocery store today and was like a moron touching all the products I had forgotten about...and i bought a big container of Kraft Peanut Butter...oh and these like baby cookie things that have chocolate on one side...how you can actually catch a Sens game on tv...seeing YTV...
My flight tomorrow is at 8am and my mom wants to leave at 6:15am. Her theory is that if something happens, that gives us enough time to call a cab. (Oh gee, I guess with my cell phone and the $20/min roaming fee since they're too neanderthal to get their own cell phones). It'll take us max 20 mins to get to the airport....
Nothin here for me to read about your opinions and thoughts!
She's in Canada...with no DVR and no time to watch tv (gasp)...I didn't even know the Emmys were on...
So I've totallys lacked on writing, mostly because Kraig was here and he spent more time on the laptop my dad's got in the basement than I did.
Friday was a day of shopping, picking up Kraig, more shopping (saw Syl's wedding dress, gorgeous, and tried on the most AMAZING red dress from BCBG. It's sad when Kraig is like "who cares that it's $340cdn. You HAVE to buy it. HAVE TO."), then did this all you can eat sushi thing. Then Kraig met my dad, which went exactly as I figured it would: my dad was friendly, cheery, all that good stuff. He even gave Kraig a HUG...my dad hasn't hugged me since I took the plane ride to move to California 8 years ago.
Day 4, Saturday, we got our Caveau de Schezwan on...it's a sit-down buffet. To die for. For real. Then we wandered around the market till 5:30, where my partayyyy night got on...hung out at Lonestar, drank like mad, and saw dozens of friends I haven't seen in ages. I was jonesin' for Poutine, and I had promised Bryan that my first time having poutine would be with him. Well Lonestar doesn't have poutine, so I went next door to Dunn's ordered gravy and cheese curds (also got a side of fries, only because they charged me for the whole damn poutine so I figured i might as well take the fries as well even though I had a plate of fries waiting for me back at Lonestar)...went back to Lonestar, and proceeded with my "do it yourself poutine"...so, so good...
After that, headed out to a lounge...went home, all good times...i had SO MUCH FUN (Thank you thank you thank you Bryan for organizing it!)
Sunday was The Bog day, which pretty uneventful....
Monday at 3:30am woke up to take Kraig to the airport, only to have the plane break and he then missed his connecting flight, sohe got back to LA pretty late. I spent the day with Christine and her boys (I am beyond impressed with her ability to maintain total calm in the face of chaos), got my poutine on with Bryan later :)
And finally, today, Day 7...got to see Erin at work, got to see Stacey's house and meet her adorable little girl Faith, got to chill for a bit with Sylvia and her mom, and got to enjoy my mother bitching me out for something so incredibly retarded. My dad agreed to drop me off at Syl's mom's house because he needed the car, and Syl offered to drive me home...this concept rocked my mother's foundations and she went into serious hysterics. I have no idea why. My dad and I were like "WHAT is your problem woman!?!"...
Tonight she wanted me to go through some of the crap I still have at home so I can pack stuff up to take home. Her logic is that my brother and i still have too much crap in our house (well, her house, whatever) and that she wants to clear stuff out. BUT...thing is, she's a PACK RAT. I've found over the course of the past few days things that i know 100% for sure that I threw out last time I was here (uhhh my Dangerous Minds soundtrack cassette? This ghetto VHS on makeup application?!)...so WHY am I throwing things out only to have her go back and insist that she may need it?!
She's also mad because she figures all I had to do was see my friends ONCE and that would be sufficient...ummm, no, i'm going to max out every second that i can with my friends since the next time I see them will be...who knows! (Okay it might be sooner than we think if Syl has a post-elopement reception in ottawa)
Going to Toronto for the next 2 days, and then Friday will be my last day...sniff...this has honestly been one of the most awesome trips EVER. I wish I could stop time...it's amazing how homesick I am. I went to the grocery store today and was like a moron touching all the products I had forgotten about...and i bought a big container of Kraft Peanut Butter...oh and these like baby cookie things that have chocolate on one side...how you can actually catch a Sens game on tv...seeing YTV...
My flight tomorrow is at 8am and my mom wants to leave at 6:15am. Her theory is that if something happens, that gives us enough time to call a cab. (Oh gee, I guess with my cell phone and the $20/min roaming fee since they're too neanderthal to get their own cell phones). It'll take us max 20 mins to get to the airport....
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Canada Trip: Day 2 (part 2)
This is gonna be the placeholder for the blog about my mom's toilet paper stash. I would post it now, except I found two more spots: the front entry closet, plus her stash in the car, that need to be photographed. So...stay tuned. My mom is seriously obsessed.
Turns out though that a good pack of TP is $17 here in Canada...it's $11 in the US at Target for a good pack of Cottonelle...so maybe my mom has reasons!
Turns out though that a good pack of TP is $17 here in Canada...it's $11 in the US at Target for a good pack of Cottonelle...so maybe my mom has reasons!
Canada Trip: Day 2 (part 1)
Nothing, and i mean, NOTHING is more fabulous than sleeping in till noon on a work day. Especially when it's not because you're unemployed. I only woke up out of a sense of guilt that I was wasting my day, even though really...I don't feel guilty at all. I did however have a nightmare about some dude coming to kill me and my friends, and some random couple had Ryan's new baby Olivia...but the chick wasn't bonding with Olivia, so they handed her to me and was like "here, you take her", and I had a hard time sneaking her out because i was trying to avoid the killer.
Then in my dream i dreamt that i woke up from the nightmare, and told Nicole (Olivia's mom) about the nightmare, and she was laughing it off. So weird to pseudo-wake up from your dream only to have another dream where you're telling your dream to the next dream people.
Anyway.
After I got ready (blowdrying my hair with my mom's old blowdryer that all the power of a small child blowing on my head...whcih also reminds me, their vacuum is so old, the front popped off and now you can see the lightbulb on the front), I went upstairs because my mom was griping about something to my dad. All i heard was "Why do all these people get new things while I'm stuck with rubbish" my mom says rubbish as often as I say "douchebag", so I came up and was like "wassup yo with all this griping"...I guess my mom was complaining about how my dad goes to garage sales and buys alot of crap. Which is like calling the kettle black, but whatever.
Then the next convo went like this:
Me: You guys seriously need to get rid of your Powerpoint VHS tapes. They're outdated.
Dad: No, i don't know powerpoint that well, I might need to reference it.
Me: You're retiring, if you don't know it now you'll be okay. Trust me. Plus those tapes will be of NO use to you. It's changed so much now.
Mom: Yeah, i have those books you can use instead.
Me: No, those books are even WORSE. There's no such thing as "Microsoft Mail" anymore.
Dad: Well the idea is still the same.
Me: NO it's not. You can't even just go to "File, Print" anymore in Office 2007. You have to click the little logo int he corner. AND if you dont' know what you're doing, just do a search for "Powerpoint for beginners".
Dad: Oh good point. Can you install MS Office on that laptop in the basement? It's for the mosque.
Me: Sure, but you know Office isn't free right?
Dad: It's not?
Me: NO it's not, Microsoft doesn't give their moneymaker away for free!
Dad: well how did your brother get it on the upstairs computers?
Me: He had the CD...did he leave it?
Dad: no, he left nothing.
Me: Well i have one at home I can send you and tell you how to install it...
Mom: I don't understand, why don't you just copy it from the upstairs computers?
Me: It doesn't work that way. It's not like one file that i can drag to a CD.
Dad: So it's not free?
Me: I'll hook you up. Don't worry about it.
To quote cher: Old people can be so cute sometimes.
I also discovered why I couldn't call anyone...I was trying to call Christine, i KNEW i had her number right...it kept saying "your call cannot be completed as dialed". Then I was like "okay, I guess this is like one of those things where i need to dial 1-613 first, even though it's not like distance". Well then I got a "the number you have dialed is not long distance". So i'm like "well wtf!"...
Turns out I had to dial just the area code, no "1" before it. I swear I feel like i'm trying to call a third world country.
Then in my dream i dreamt that i woke up from the nightmare, and told Nicole (Olivia's mom) about the nightmare, and she was laughing it off. So weird to pseudo-wake up from your dream only to have another dream where you're telling your dream to the next dream people.
Anyway.
After I got ready (blowdrying my hair with my mom's old blowdryer that all the power of a small child blowing on my head...whcih also reminds me, their vacuum is so old, the front popped off and now you can see the lightbulb on the front), I went upstairs because my mom was griping about something to my dad. All i heard was "Why do all these people get new things while I'm stuck with rubbish" my mom says rubbish as often as I say "douchebag", so I came up and was like "wassup yo with all this griping"...I guess my mom was complaining about how my dad goes to garage sales and buys alot of crap. Which is like calling the kettle black, but whatever.
Then the next convo went like this:
Me: You guys seriously need to get rid of your Powerpoint VHS tapes. They're outdated.
Dad: No, i don't know powerpoint that well, I might need to reference it.
Me: You're retiring, if you don't know it now you'll be okay. Trust me. Plus those tapes will be of NO use to you. It's changed so much now.
Mom: Yeah, i have those books you can use instead.
Me: No, those books are even WORSE. There's no such thing as "Microsoft Mail" anymore.
Dad: Well the idea is still the same.
Me: NO it's not. You can't even just go to "File, Print" anymore in Office 2007. You have to click the little logo int he corner. AND if you dont' know what you're doing, just do a search for "Powerpoint for beginners".
Dad: Oh good point. Can you install MS Office on that laptop in the basement? It's for the mosque.
Me: Sure, but you know Office isn't free right?
Dad: It's not?
Me: NO it's not, Microsoft doesn't give their moneymaker away for free!
Dad: well how did your brother get it on the upstairs computers?
Me: He had the CD...did he leave it?
Dad: no, he left nothing.
Me: Well i have one at home I can send you and tell you how to install it...
Mom: I don't understand, why don't you just copy it from the upstairs computers?
Me: It doesn't work that way. It's not like one file that i can drag to a CD.
Dad: So it's not free?
Me: I'll hook you up. Don't worry about it.
To quote cher: Old people can be so cute sometimes.
I also discovered why I couldn't call anyone...I was trying to call Christine, i KNEW i had her number right...it kept saying "your call cannot be completed as dialed". Then I was like "okay, I guess this is like one of those things where i need to dial 1-613 first, even though it's not like distance". Well then I got a "the number you have dialed is not long distance". So i'm like "well wtf!"...
Turns out I had to dial just the area code, no "1" before it. I swear I feel like i'm trying to call a third world country.
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