So apparently I'm not the only chick that has some defined "rules" when it comes to guys. I realize I'm married, but I certainly do judge guys, my friends' boyfriends/dates/manfriends/etc, because I certainly have at least the same if not higher standards for my girlfriends.
General rules:
Real Men Eat Meat. Fish doesn't count as meat. And I'm anti-pork. But real men are NOT vegetarians, and they appreciate a good hunk of meat cooked up on the grill. Goes back to caveman stuff. I want my men chopping wood and slapping a dead cow on their fire. You can't have passion if you only eat Tofurkey at thanksgiving.
No pink. EVER. Well okay at Hallowe'en, maybe. Pink is a BIG no no. I don't care if you shirt has a teenie bit of pink in it...it better have skulls on it then. Pink is for baby girls, for delicate things....heck it's the color for Breast Cancer Awareness for God's sakes....now unless you have breasts, you shouldn't wear it.
FLowered shirts This doesn't apply to Hawaiian print shirts....Magnum PI was hot for an 80s dude with a mustache. And yes we all know a certain Chino boy who likes his flowery shirts. But I'm sorry. Really, I am. But...choosing to wear FLOWERS on your torso...that's...so....bizarre....that's like voluntarily choosing to wear ribbons on your shirt. Why would you do that? It makes no sense.
P*ssy cars. Excuse my language...I really don't swear. But certain cars are unacceptable for guys to drive, such as: the Jetta, Tercel, HOnda Del Sol, Mazda Miata...you get the drift. Chick cars. VW Bugs are big time unacceptable. Well, all of these are okay for gay guys. FLAMING gay guys. Now let it be known, i do NOT require guys drive expensive cars. I couldn't care a less if all you can afford is a 1980 honda civic with each door a different color. I'll take a $500 beater car over a $30,000 chick car any day. So this doesn't make me shallow or materialistic. It just means that REAL MEN feel strongly about their choice of vehicle...just like they do meat.
And on that note, I'm okay if the rule should be applied to chicks too. I realize some chicks drive uber tough trucks. If, as a guy, you want to discriminate against a chick because her car is too dyke-ish...go right ahead. A chick driving a manly truck knows full well that she's little miss tough thang and that can scare off guys. I'm an equal-opportunity-car-discriminatory-chick.
Drive standard...stick, manual, standard, whatever you want to call it. I don't care if your CAR is manual...I just require that the guy knows how to drive stick. I know, not every guy can....so this one I'll let slide if the guy is fantastic. But the first time you see that sucker cry (i don't care if his dog died or if he got one of his nuts cut off)...you just remember, that pansy cries AND he can't drive stick...might as well cut off the other nut too.
Pay on the first date Yeah yeah i know. All the men of the world unite and scream at me. But before you do, remember, i'm the chick who advocates everyone be Crazy Fun Girl when your guy starts to back off and CFG gives lots of head. So...yeah before you argue with me....
The way i figure it, it's just old fashioned romance. I know we work, we want women's lib (personally, i DON'T...i'm FINE not working and living on one income, trust me, and having dinner ready every night as a result)...i mean, somehow in the end I end up paying for both me and the guy for YEARS to come...so at the very least, i just want ONE NIGHT where I can pull out my wallet and the guy says "Don't be silly, put that thing away"...since I'm paying for your sorry ass for the next N dates, you might as well just humor me with just ONE night off.
Eat more than the chick. This is SIGNIFICANT. I do NOT order salads on dates...heck, on my first date with Kraig I ordered the biggest plate of pasta. And i did that with all my dates after I became newly single and dated in the US. I think Kraig was horrified. But the point is...as a man, you have to eat more than me. You do NOT order a f*cking salad. I don't care that your company took you for all you can eat buffet at lunch. I don't care if you're going to work out later. I don't give a crap. I'm a girl, i'm half your size, eat a f*cking meal. And if you already ate...well who the ((bleep)) eats before a dinner date? That happened to Kim once...I would have ordered 5 courses (since it's the first date and he's paying anyway) and made him watch me chow through it all.
And on that note, tom lykes will be the first to tell men...if you're just gonna get laid anyway, order a salad because no chick will eat more than a guy and then you don't ahve to pay for a big huge meal. So if a dude orders a salad...order the most expensive thingo n the menu then bail out early because *yawn* you have an early morning....
NO BRIEFS...okay I've fortunately never had to be exposed to a guy who wore briefs (just boxers, or boxer briefs)...but i figured i'd throw that in for good measure.
Okay that's my list for now. Feel free to hate me. And then drive off in your Del Sol while you snack on a rice cake.
Added to say: MOTHER EFFER....Ryan Reynolds and The Rock are gonna do a buddy movie together. Those are 2 guys from my 5 list. (well the ever changing 5..but they are always on it). They better get off their asses and start filming.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The things every blog should know
From Maximonline.com (too lazy to type the html to link it), they have 100 Things Every Guy Should Know. I condensed the ones that I think are important:
The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines. I saw on Travel Channel that Roulette is the worst and Slots are better...but um yeah doesn't matter, 'cause I only win at Roulette anyway.
The best time of day to buy shoesLate afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size. Every girl knows this, guys should too.
Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough. Like a guy can change that anyway. What's the point of that knowledge for men?
The just-to-be-sure testicle check
The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:
1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.
2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps.
3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.)
4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.) A guy should be healthy!
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.So much for those Bernoulli trials...
What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery. What if you don't have metal fillings in your mouth?
How to preserve meat in the wild Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag. because I require my men to drive non-p*ssy cars, save me from a burning building, and eat MEAT.
To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do. I swear I should just DRINK hand sanitizer.
The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds. I want credit for knowing the diff between a production car and a stock car. ANyway this is just to add "oomph" to the soon-to-be written blog about guys and cars.
Five no-fail fashion rules
Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.
If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.
If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.
Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.
Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.as per yesterday...i don't think pink should EVER be allowed. And "olive" is okay on guys.
How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly. Every guy should have this info plastered everywhere.
Numbers you should know
Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.
I'm sorry I had to post this one...I'm going to die laughing at the last one. Which makes me wonder:
1. HOw many subjects were used to get that average?
2. What's the fastest?
3. What's the slowest?
8 Things You Don’t Know
Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In our noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions. Maxim’s here to set the record straight.
- An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.
- The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.
- A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.
- Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.
- Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.
- Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.
- Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.
- Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.
Yeah that Einstein thing always bugged me. It's like when people say that Bill Gates dropped out of college. Um yeah are YOU dropping out to form your own software company? Exactly. So shut up and do your homework you weed smokin' slacker.
How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”
Italian and Spanish sound the best to me.....
The song of the day is Time of your life (good riddance) by Green Day
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
Time wake up.
The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines. I saw on Travel Channel that Roulette is the worst and Slots are better...but um yeah doesn't matter, 'cause I only win at Roulette anyway.
The best time of day to buy shoesLate afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size. Every girl knows this, guys should too.
Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough. Like a guy can change that anyway. What's the point of that knowledge for men?
The just-to-be-sure testicle check
The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:
1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.
2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps.
3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.)
4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.) A guy should be healthy!
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.So much for those Bernoulli trials...
What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery. What if you don't have metal fillings in your mouth?
How to preserve meat in the wild Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag. because I require my men to drive non-p*ssy cars, save me from a burning building, and eat MEAT.
To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do. I swear I should just DRINK hand sanitizer.
The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds. I want credit for knowing the diff between a production car and a stock car. ANyway this is just to add "oomph" to the soon-to-be written blog about guys and cars.
Five no-fail fashion rules
Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.
If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.
If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.
Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.
Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.as per yesterday...i don't think pink should EVER be allowed. And "olive" is okay on guys.
How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly. Every guy should have this info plastered everywhere.
Numbers you should know
Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.
I'm sorry I had to post this one...I'm going to die laughing at the last one. Which makes me wonder:
1. HOw many subjects were used to get that average?
2. What's the fastest?
3. What's the slowest?
8 Things You Don’t Know
Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In our noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions. Maxim’s here to set the record straight.
- An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.
- The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.
- A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.
- Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.
- Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.
- Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.
- Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.
- Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.
Yeah that Einstein thing always bugged me. It's like when people say that Bill Gates dropped out of college. Um yeah are YOU dropping out to form your own software company? Exactly. So shut up and do your homework you weed smokin' slacker.
How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”
Italian and Spanish sound the best to me.....
The song of the day is Time of your life (good riddance) by Green Day
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
Time wake up.
IM with my mom
I should post more of these, but really I don't even pay attention when I'm actually having the conversation....
My_Mom: hi whats up
Me: nothing
My_Mom: how are the pussycatos?
My_Mom: i think marmalade gets so anxious because she wants to go outside
My_Mom: she was after all an outdoor cat all her life
Me: maybe
My_Mom: a video came out with cats meowing xmas songs, they showed it on tv this morning, smoking watched
My_Mom: it was so cute
My_Mom: smokey I ment
My_Mom: wish i could hug her right now
My_Mom: how is stash pooh?
Me: he's good
My_Mom: still naughty?
My_Mom: not naughty, just playful and he wants to play with marmalade really
Me: yes
My_Mom: they advertised in the flyer a climbing post, with a basket on top and a hous on the side, some ball hanging from the other side for them to play
My_Mom: that would be fun for the cats, costs 176 $
Me: yup
My_Mom: should buy them one
My_Mom: bet marmalade would love to sleep in that house
My_Mom: the whole post is covered with carpet
Me: i did that remember...marmalade peed on it.
My_Mom: oops forgot
My_Mom: she is really something
My_Mom: what u need is wood floor only, no carpet at all
Me: yup
My_Mom: ((my brother))said its ok... u get the jewellery and the stamps, he gets the coins
My_Mom: works for him, so no fighting over it should i die all over sudden
Me: okay
My_Mom: also the pendants are framed coins hehe
My_Mom: typical austrian thing
My_Mom: also keep the wind up watches, they might be worth something one day
My_Mom: cant get them anymore
My_Mom: have to finish washing the floor, c u
Me: ok
My_Mom: hi whats up
Me: nothing
My_Mom: how are the pussycatos?
My_Mom: i think marmalade gets so anxious because she wants to go outside
My_Mom: she was after all an outdoor cat all her life
Me: maybe
My_Mom: a video came out with cats meowing xmas songs, they showed it on tv this morning, smoking watched
My_Mom: it was so cute
My_Mom: smokey I ment
My_Mom: wish i could hug her right now
My_Mom: how is stash pooh?
Me: he's good
My_Mom: still naughty?
My_Mom: not naughty, just playful and he wants to play with marmalade really
Me: yes
My_Mom: they advertised in the flyer a climbing post, with a basket on top and a hous on the side, some ball hanging from the other side for them to play
My_Mom: that would be fun for the cats, costs 176 $
Me: yup
My_Mom: should buy them one
My_Mom: bet marmalade would love to sleep in that house
My_Mom: the whole post is covered with carpet
Me: i did that remember...marmalade peed on it.
My_Mom: oops forgot
My_Mom: she is really something
My_Mom: what u need is wood floor only, no carpet at all
Me: yup
My_Mom: ((my brother))said its ok... u get the jewellery and the stamps, he gets the coins
My_Mom: works for him, so no fighting over it should i die all over sudden
Me: okay
My_Mom: also the pendants are framed coins hehe
My_Mom: typical austrian thing
My_Mom: also keep the wind up watches, they might be worth something one day
My_Mom: cant get them anymore
My_Mom: have to finish washing the floor, c u
Me: ok
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Edumacate your blog
Some interesting news bits to read today:
Is monogamy dead?: A 'mistake' that doesn't count?
Schwartz has likened this attitude to overeating. We say we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway. And when we do, we still claim to be monogamous, chalking up our fling (flings?) as “a mistake” that doesn’t count. We take a mulligan.You know who you are.
TrimSpa sued over Anna Nicole Smith....okay clearly the problem is that you should never, EVER have Anna Nicole at a CHARITY event...that's like inviting Michael Jackson to a nursery school and then getting upset when he plays doctor. Come on now people!
Kazaa owners work to install filters...sigh I miss my napster days! It was so therapeutic to just stare at those download bars. My email address back then was "NapsterAddict@rogers.com"....knowing what i know now, I should have bought a MASSIVE hard drive no matter the cost and downloaded everything and anything.
Microsoft sued over XBox...only 'cause we talked about the glitches so much.
Howard Stern is getting Sirius on the airwaves... I really need to get off my ass and get my Sirius finally. All week he's been doing his farewell stuff, and it's SO sad. He's one of the few GOOD things i've experienced about moving to the US (we don't have him on the airwaves in Canada), other than Circus Animal Cookies and Macaroni Grill.
The song of the day is Can I Have It Like That by Pharrell featuring Gwen
So, drop ya purse, and grab ya hips,
And act like ya tryin' to get this money right quick,
So can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Will post my Tazo count in a few hours....
Is monogamy dead?: A 'mistake' that doesn't count?
Schwartz has likened this attitude to overeating. We say we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway. And when we do, we still claim to be monogamous, chalking up our fling (flings?) as “a mistake” that doesn’t count. We take a mulligan.You know who you are.
TrimSpa sued over Anna Nicole Smith....okay clearly the problem is that you should never, EVER have Anna Nicole at a CHARITY event...that's like inviting Michael Jackson to a nursery school and then getting upset when he plays doctor. Come on now people!
Kazaa owners work to install filters...sigh I miss my napster days! It was so therapeutic to just stare at those download bars. My email address back then was "NapsterAddict@rogers.com"....knowing what i know now, I should have bought a MASSIVE hard drive no matter the cost and downloaded everything and anything.
Microsoft sued over XBox...only 'cause we talked about the glitches so much.
Howard Stern is getting Sirius on the airwaves... I really need to get off my ass and get my Sirius finally. All week he's been doing his farewell stuff, and it's SO sad. He's one of the few GOOD things i've experienced about moving to the US (we don't have him on the airwaves in Canada), other than Circus Animal Cookies and Macaroni Grill.
The song of the day is Can I Have It Like That by Pharrell featuring Gwen
So, drop ya purse, and grab ya hips,
And act like ya tryin' to get this money right quick,
So can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Can i have it like that?
You got it like that
Will post my Tazo count in a few hours....
My blog is channel 3
From Entertainment Weekly online:
Most of the plot revolved around the kiddies, but the side dishes of trailer-park Julie Cooper and Sandy's Berkeley friend Paul Glass were welcome diversions. My favorite Julie moment: when she told her nameless, snobby neighbor she trying to ''keep it real'' with the U-Haul, then dismissively called the woman by her apartment number. Yeah! Up yours, 3F. The dinner party with Paul was good, too. After taking some heat for rarely including black characters in the show, The O.C. compensated by inviting one to dinner and then having everyone ditch him at the table — but not before he got in a pretty decent joke: ''What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you freaking racist.'' Ha.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who died laughing at that Uhaul moment.
I've decided much in the spirit of my high school blog, i'm going to keep a Daily Tazo Count (DTC)...
Monday's count: only 3....I had alot of hot chocolate instead.
Most of the plot revolved around the kiddies, but the side dishes of trailer-park Julie Cooper and Sandy's Berkeley friend Paul Glass were welcome diversions. My favorite Julie moment: when she told her nameless, snobby neighbor she trying to ''keep it real'' with the U-Haul, then dismissively called the woman by her apartment number. Yeah! Up yours, 3F. The dinner party with Paul was good, too. After taking some heat for rarely including black characters in the show, The O.C. compensated by inviting one to dinner and then having everyone ditch him at the table — but not before he got in a pretty decent joke: ''What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you freaking racist.'' Ha.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who died laughing at that Uhaul moment.
I've decided much in the spirit of my high school blog, i'm going to keep a Daily Tazo Count (DTC)...
Monday's count: only 3....I had alot of hot chocolate instead.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Why would I want a scented blog?
No time to write today
Just wanted to say that every time I think of this, I laugh:
Rachel Ray....30 minutes my ass!
And yes, I DID stand in line in the pouring rain for 4 hours just to see the size of her butt.
Just wanted to say that every time I think of this, I laugh:
Rachel Ray....30 minutes my ass!
And yes, I DID stand in line in the pouring rain for 4 hours just to see the size of her butt.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
My blog makes me laugh
This is effing hilarious:
http://www.collegehumor.com/articles/1636993/
(I realize that in my social circle growing up, i was the ugly one, but this is just to funny for words)...
He's not addicted to crystal meth....
I may very well pee my pants laughing right now.
http://www.collegehumor.com/articles/1636993/
(I realize that in my social circle growing up, i was the ugly one, but this is just to funny for words)...
He's not addicted to crystal meth....
I may very well pee my pants laughing right now.
My blog wears track pants
FYI people...
When you go skiing...your ski/snow pants are OUTERWEAR...
Therefore wearing say just your underwear (when it's warm skiing) under your ski pants is just WRONG...
Would you wear just your bra under your winter coat? NO! Not just because that's WEIRD....but also 'cause you don't wash your coat every time you wear it, and so you want to minimize the sweat on your body getting on your OUTERWEAR.
MAYBE i can understand shorts..i suppose...but i still think that's weird...wear yoga pants or something under those ski pants.
And thermal underwear, unless you get the good stuff, still has the word UNDERWEAR in there...so effing put some track pants or something over your thermal underwear and under your ski pants!
MOTHER EFFER people.
I'll come up with a song of the day later. Right now i've got Lifehouse in my head, which was already a song of the day.
When you go skiing...your ski/snow pants are OUTERWEAR...
Therefore wearing say just your underwear (when it's warm skiing) under your ski pants is just WRONG...
Would you wear just your bra under your winter coat? NO! Not just because that's WEIRD....but also 'cause you don't wash your coat every time you wear it, and so you want to minimize the sweat on your body getting on your OUTERWEAR.
MAYBE i can understand shorts..i suppose...but i still think that's weird...wear yoga pants or something under those ski pants.
And thermal underwear, unless you get the good stuff, still has the word UNDERWEAR in there...so effing put some track pants or something over your thermal underwear and under your ski pants!
MOTHER EFFER people.
I'll come up with a song of the day later. Right now i've got Lifehouse in my head, which was already a song of the day.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
now take that knife and turn it COUNTERclockwise
And there goes the other chunk of the pain that finally got posted:
Current Balance $2,744.97
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
Is it any wonder that my skin is freaking out? I thought briefly yesterday about getting a new car...and then I almost broke out in hives thinking about monthly payments again.
Current Balance $2,744.97
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
Is it any wonder that my skin is freaking out? I thought briefly yesterday about getting a new car...and then I almost broke out in hives thinking about monthly payments again.
What's more ghetto? My blog or my car?
You know this was going to happen.
My ghetto car....has reached UBER ghetto levels.
So far in 5 years I've replaced the brakes a dozen times and all four tires twice...it got keyed BADLY in 2001 when i parked at a Barnes & Nobles...the rear bumper is about to fall off thanks to a chick without a driver's license who ran into me in 2005...The right side has a huge dent when I hit something (yes, on the SIDE) when making a turn...the same month that I accidentally rear ended someone else (hey, to my defense i had to wake up earlier than usual and i was a zombie) and the front light is held up with a rubber band....
My car has been cleaned maybe 3 times, maybe a bit more only because Kraig is the one who would get embarassed and takes it in for me....
My cat has peed (through the holes in her carrier)in it more times than I care to explain.
The driver's side window can't roll back up after it's been rolled down. I don't valet my car because i'm cheap. I don't valet it because those valet guys always roll down my window even after I tell them NOT to do that.
All of this aside...my car was still fabulous because...IT'S PAID OFF.
But yesterday...yesterday my car officially became unacceptable.
I got in my car after work and went to move the driver's side visor (which has a bunch of my CDs in a holder) up...and I heard a "SNAP".
going to try to explain this highly untechnical bit of info now
The doohickey that kept my visor locked and rotating the hinge thingy had broken off.
This meant that the visor couldn't stay up, it flopped back down. And because there was no tension, i couldn't push it down close to the window like you would do if say it were sunny. It hung STRAIGHT down, which blocked my view.
So i thought I would pop out the visor and push it to the left driver's side window, you know?
Well in the process of trying to pop it out of the hinge thingy...the plastic bracket that was embedded into the visor BROKE right out. And then the long handle that held the visor wasn't strong enough to hold the visor in anyway, so that slid right out.
There I was....
A broken piece of hinged plastic
A visor
And left on my car was this long hinge thing (that was covered in grease).
I threw it all onto the floor and just drove home, since it was nighttime and it didn't matter anyway.
But...
The whole time i was FUMING.
My car is unacceptably ghetto now.
Later, at 10pm, I went to the gym...but I spent half an hour in my car trying to figure out a solution....which is hard when you don't keep anything in your car to hold stuff in anyway...but I used an old clip to smoosh the visor onto the hinge (it won't go down, and I can't put the CD holder on it anymore, but at least it's there for visual purposes....)...
I am THE biggest loser. Ever.
Losers like me don't get a song of the day!
My ghetto car....has reached UBER ghetto levels.
So far in 5 years I've replaced the brakes a dozen times and all four tires twice...it got keyed BADLY in 2001 when i parked at a Barnes & Nobles...the rear bumper is about to fall off thanks to a chick without a driver's license who ran into me in 2005...The right side has a huge dent when I hit something (yes, on the SIDE) when making a turn...the same month that I accidentally rear ended someone else (hey, to my defense i had to wake up earlier than usual and i was a zombie) and the front light is held up with a rubber band....
My car has been cleaned maybe 3 times, maybe a bit more only because Kraig is the one who would get embarassed and takes it in for me....
My cat has peed (through the holes in her carrier)in it more times than I care to explain.
The driver's side window can't roll back up after it's been rolled down. I don't valet my car because i'm cheap. I don't valet it because those valet guys always roll down my window even after I tell them NOT to do that.
All of this aside...my car was still fabulous because...IT'S PAID OFF.
But yesterday...yesterday my car officially became unacceptable.
I got in my car after work and went to move the driver's side visor (which has a bunch of my CDs in a holder) up...and I heard a "SNAP".
going to try to explain this highly untechnical bit of info now
The doohickey that kept my visor locked and rotating the hinge thingy had broken off.
This meant that the visor couldn't stay up, it flopped back down. And because there was no tension, i couldn't push it down close to the window like you would do if say it were sunny. It hung STRAIGHT down, which blocked my view.
So i thought I would pop out the visor and push it to the left driver's side window, you know?
Well in the process of trying to pop it out of the hinge thingy...the plastic bracket that was embedded into the visor BROKE right out. And then the long handle that held the visor wasn't strong enough to hold the visor in anyway, so that slid right out.
There I was....
A broken piece of hinged plastic
A visor
And left on my car was this long hinge thing (that was covered in grease).
I threw it all onto the floor and just drove home, since it was nighttime and it didn't matter anyway.
But...
The whole time i was FUMING.
My car is unacceptably ghetto now.
Later, at 10pm, I went to the gym...but I spent half an hour in my car trying to figure out a solution....which is hard when you don't keep anything in your car to hold stuff in anyway...but I used an old clip to smoosh the visor onto the hinge (it won't go down, and I can't put the CD holder on it anymore, but at least it's there for visual purposes....)...
I am THE biggest loser. Ever.
Losers like me don't get a song of the day!
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Take two blogs and call me in the morning
Ouch.
Painful.
Current Balance $2,546.69
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
And that doesn't include a charge from the past weekend that's gonna rack it up.
This might very well be...the first time EVER in my life...that I don't pay my credit card bill in full.
Maybe I should start taking Marmalade's kitty anti-depressants!
On another note, lets not forget people...Real World Reunion tonight.
Painful.
Current Balance $2,546.69
Next Statement Date 12/08/05
And that doesn't include a charge from the past weekend that's gonna rack it up.
This might very well be...the first time EVER in my life...that I don't pay my credit card bill in full.
Maybe I should start taking Marmalade's kitty anti-depressants!
On another note, lets not forget people...Real World Reunion tonight.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Best website ever
betterboyfriend.blogspot.com/
One THOUSAND percent
correct
accurate
nails it on the head
And yes....google how to make jewelry if that's the only way you can get your woman some jewelry. We'll love it.
One THOUSAND percent
correct
accurate
nails it on the head
And yes....google how to make jewelry if that's the only way you can get your woman some jewelry. We'll love it.
Getting to the brass tax of the blog
Turkey day was fabulous. Much thanks to Carrie, her mom, and Anna for taking in us Orphan Horigans :) Plus I learned a boatload about agriculture and how to kill a chicken so that you can still eat it (before it gets an infection). Although personally, if I raised a chicken and accidentally killed it too soon...eff it, i'm just going to KFC.
My new goal in life is to get Carrie back to Ohio Barbie status :P
And speaking of goals....what with my new year's resolution to be more elegant and refined (okay, "more" is probably a bad word. At this rate, SOMEWHAT elegant and refined is more like it), I need to come up with some quantifyable goals, y'know?
AND...some more things I plan on accomplishing in 2006:
1. FINALLY make Kraig's website for his art. I've been paying for that domain name for ages and all its served is a spot for me to post additional pictures when I put stuff up on ebay.
2. Refresh my French.
3. Go back to lifting weights, not just cardio all the time
4. Clean my car at least once every 3 months...instead of um...once every 3 years....
The song of the day is We Be Burnin' by Sean Paul....He annoys me, but I LOVE this song.
Girls them a page me waan fi raise me
True me write nuff tune and drive them crazy.
Well I man a true born Jamaican
Ready fi the girls them inna every situation.
We a the gal dem pro, them know we flow
With the lyrical content that make them dip low and
Make the club keep jumpin'
Turn up the bass make we here when it pumpin'.
I"m not cool enough to know what half this song means but it's a good song nonetheless.
So the three big entertainment news stories:
1. Jessica and Nick: already wrote about this...so sad...but....the good news is that they didn't sign a prenup. Which means Nick is gonna make BANK. He's looking even BETTER, if that's humanly possible.
2. Talan and Kim Stewart: Gee did this shock anyone? I swear, if Talan actually gets a half decent music career going I'll actually eat a piece of bacon. Seriously. That's the little faith I have in his talent. Plus, let's be real...Kimberly Stewart is effing NASTY looking...if you're gonna do a celebrity hookup, make sure it's with someone HOT.
3. Mr. Miyagi: I can't believe he died! Wax on! Wax off! WTF!
That aside...
Breaking Bonaduce: what an uneventful finale. Although Danny really did point something out....Gretchen's bad choice of songs on a mirror is HER way of expressing what he thought should have been done with another song. They speak a different language, that's all. And he translated.
Speaking of....it seems like Foo Fighters' Best Of You is getting loads of attention on VH1 and MTV thanks to all their reality shows talking about it.
DH: Is there anyone who WASN'T cheering that George finally got what he deserved? It would have been better if Bree had found out on her own though. And I think they could have played up his psycho-ness a bit more. On another note, the storyline with Gabby and the hot nun...brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Okay that's it for today, sorry not wildly exciting or interesting or funny or whatever. I know. You all snap your fingers and scream Dance for me monkey, dance! but sometimes, I just can't perform :P
My new goal in life is to get Carrie back to Ohio Barbie status :P
And speaking of goals....what with my new year's resolution to be more elegant and refined (okay, "more" is probably a bad word. At this rate, SOMEWHAT elegant and refined is more like it), I need to come up with some quantifyable goals, y'know?
AND...some more things I plan on accomplishing in 2006:
1. FINALLY make Kraig's website for his art. I've been paying for that domain name for ages and all its served is a spot for me to post additional pictures when I put stuff up on ebay.
2. Refresh my French.
3. Go back to lifting weights, not just cardio all the time
4. Clean my car at least once every 3 months...instead of um...once every 3 years....
The song of the day is We Be Burnin' by Sean Paul....He annoys me, but I LOVE this song.
Girls them a page me waan fi raise me
True me write nuff tune and drive them crazy.
Well I man a true born Jamaican
Ready fi the girls them inna every situation.
We a the gal dem pro, them know we flow
With the lyrical content that make them dip low and
Make the club keep jumpin'
Turn up the bass make we here when it pumpin'.
I"m not cool enough to know what half this song means but it's a good song nonetheless.
So the three big entertainment news stories:
1. Jessica and Nick: already wrote about this...so sad...but....the good news is that they didn't sign a prenup. Which means Nick is gonna make BANK. He's looking even BETTER, if that's humanly possible.
2. Talan and Kim Stewart: Gee did this shock anyone? I swear, if Talan actually gets a half decent music career going I'll actually eat a piece of bacon. Seriously. That's the little faith I have in his talent. Plus, let's be real...Kimberly Stewart is effing NASTY looking...if you're gonna do a celebrity hookup, make sure it's with someone HOT.
3. Mr. Miyagi: I can't believe he died! Wax on! Wax off! WTF!
That aside...
Breaking Bonaduce: what an uneventful finale. Although Danny really did point something out....Gretchen's bad choice of songs on a mirror is HER way of expressing what he thought should have been done with another song. They speak a different language, that's all. And he translated.
Speaking of....it seems like Foo Fighters' Best Of You is getting loads of attention on VH1 and MTV thanks to all their reality shows talking about it.
DH: Is there anyone who WASN'T cheering that George finally got what he deserved? It would have been better if Bree had found out on her own though. And I think they could have played up his psycho-ness a bit more. On another note, the storyline with Gabby and the hot nun...brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Okay that's it for today, sorry not wildly exciting or interesting or funny or whatever. I know. You all snap your fingers and scream Dance for me monkey, dance! but sometimes, I just can't perform :P
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
His blog is gonna take her blog to the cleaners
OH
MY
GOD
I can't believe Nick and Jessica are really divorcing.
I just can't believe it.
I mean, we saw it coming. I know. We all did.
But...
I never missed a single episode of Newlyweds, and heck I even have his stupid horrible album (okay I didn't pay for it. But dammit I wanted to support him by owning it and Rena hooked me up).
It really had promise, it really did. That first season she didn't do JACK so they spent tons of time together, and he was on the 5-year track to de-spoil her.
And then after Season 1, she became a huge star and it got to her head.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
She's an IDIOT.
I used to LOVE her. And I thought back in the day the way her father marketed her was brilliant. But when she lost that humble charm about her, that's when it all went to hell. Nick never lost it...but she did.
Dang, I sure hope he gets a nice $$ package out of that divorce...'cause as much as I'm wildly in love with Nick Lachey, he doesn't have the best career. That being said, I believe he would be fantastic at two things:
1. Broadway....he likes to act, he's got a beautiful voice...he needs to do live stuff.
2. Sports tv...fortunately he got a gig, which makes me so proud of him....it would make my life more enjoyable as the wife of a football fanatic if I had to see Nick discuss the game...
Now that he's single...I'm going to make it my mission in life to find out where he's moving, stalk him, kidnap him, and then pawn him off onto Carrie. They're both from Ohio. And they both live in southern california...And....um they're both from Ohio. So they have a ton in common. It's a match made in heaven.
The song of the day is This I Swear by Nick Lachey (click here).
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
Yeah, i'm a sap in hiding sometimes. It's 11:41pm on Wed night...time to go to the gym so I can max out my turkey time tomorrow!
MY
GOD
I can't believe Nick and Jessica are really divorcing.
I just can't believe it.
I mean, we saw it coming. I know. We all did.
But...
I never missed a single episode of Newlyweds, and heck I even have his stupid horrible album (okay I didn't pay for it. But dammit I wanted to support him by owning it and Rena hooked me up).
It really had promise, it really did. That first season she didn't do JACK so they spent tons of time together, and he was on the 5-year track to de-spoil her.
And then after Season 1, she became a huge star and it got to her head.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
She's an IDIOT.
I used to LOVE her. And I thought back in the day the way her father marketed her was brilliant. But when she lost that humble charm about her, that's when it all went to hell. Nick never lost it...but she did.
Dang, I sure hope he gets a nice $$ package out of that divorce...'cause as much as I'm wildly in love with Nick Lachey, he doesn't have the best career. That being said, I believe he would be fantastic at two things:
1. Broadway....he likes to act, he's got a beautiful voice...he needs to do live stuff.
2. Sports tv...fortunately he got a gig, which makes me so proud of him....it would make my life more enjoyable as the wife of a football fanatic if I had to see Nick discuss the game...
Now that he's single...I'm going to make it my mission in life to find out where he's moving, stalk him, kidnap him, and then pawn him off onto Carrie. They're both from Ohio. And they both live in southern california...And....um they're both from Ohio. So they have a ton in common. It's a match made in heaven.
The song of the day is This I Swear by Nick Lachey (click here).
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
Yeah, i'm a sap in hiding sometimes. It's 11:41pm on Wed night...time to go to the gym so I can max out my turkey time tomorrow!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Nicole wanted a blog this afternoon
But i have nothing to write and I'm all pecan pie'd out.
>1. What time is it? > 11:14am (and then finished it at 2:52)
>2. Name: Sabina
>3. Nickname: Bean, Beanie, Bean-bag, Beana-rina (from Christine), Beaner...you get the point.
>4. Piercings? my ears have been pierced 3 times (on each side) but number that i have now: 2 in my ears, 1 bellybutton
>5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theatre? Derailed
>6. Eye color: dark brown
>7. Place of birth: Winnipeg, Manitoba
>8. Favourite NEW food: Well i'd like all my food to be new and not old
>9. Ever been to Africa? > Yeah i'll get right on that...
>10. Ever been toilet papering? Nope
>11. Love someone so much it made you cry? Only when they stopped loving me back
>12. Been in a car accident? tons!
>13. Croutons or bacon bits: CROUUUUTTTONNNSS!!!
>14. Favourite day of the week? Friday...afternoon...the anticipation of work being over
>15. Favourite Restaurant: In ottawa: caveau de Sczhewan, anywhere with Poutine (Nickel's, Zak's, etc), East Side Marios. In California: lol ghetto Red Robin...BJs...anywhere with Pho or Thai and i'm good to go....
>16.Favourite flower? Calla Lillies and blue irises
>17. Favorite sport to watch? cheerleading on ESPN, hockey if i can catch it
>18. Favorite drink? girly drinks...although Stefanie's got me hooked on just shots of tequila
>19. Favorite ice cream? not a big ice cream fan, but otherwise vanilla/chocolate "swirl" or butter pecan
>21. Favorite fast food restaurant? IN N OUT BABY!!!
>22. What color is your bedroom carpet? nasty beige with weird spots
>23. How many times you failed your driver's test? In Cali, i should have failed it...i did so many things wrong (Adam and I had broken up the night before)...and yet the guy acted like I was a perfect driver. So goes to show you how well cali drivers are.
>24. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? my coworker Ryan
>25. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target!!
>27. Bedtime: If i got to the gym: midnight...if i don't go...10ish.
>28. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? I doubt anyone will, i'm just THAT bored and procrastinating right now
>29. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to
>respond? Syl
>30. Who are you the most curious about their responses to this quiz? I don't even know who i'm going to send this to yet
>31. Favorite TV shows? OHHH let's begin the list: Real World, Laguna Beach, Surreal Life, Breaking Bonaduce, Dr. 90210, THE OC, My Name is Earl, Lost, ER, SNL, Desperate Housewives...i think that's it.
]>32. Last person you went to dinner with? Crap. I don't remember when I had dinner last with someone. WTF. Does pizza on Friday night with kraig count?
>33. Ford or Chevy? eww I don't do american cars.
>34. What are you listening to right now? Madonna of course
35. What is your favorite color? baby blue, baby pink
>36. How many tattoos do you have? zerooooo....I think after awhile they look nasty on the skin
>38. Which came first the chicken or the egg? A cow gave birth to a chicken, who then in turn laid an egg....
>39. How many people are you sending this to? No one, it's going on my blog
>40. What musician alive or dead would you have lunch with? Elvis...so that I can sell his fork, knife, and napkin on ebay later.
>1. What time is it? > 11:14am (and then finished it at 2:52)
>2. Name: Sabina
>3. Nickname: Bean, Beanie, Bean-bag, Beana-rina (from Christine), Beaner...you get the point.
>4. Piercings? my ears have been pierced 3 times (on each side) but number that i have now: 2 in my ears, 1 bellybutton
>5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theatre? Derailed
>6. Eye color: dark brown
>7. Place of birth: Winnipeg, Manitoba
>8. Favourite NEW food: Well i'd like all my food to be new and not old
>9. Ever been to Africa? > Yeah i'll get right on that...
>10. Ever been toilet papering? Nope
>11. Love someone so much it made you cry? Only when they stopped loving me back
>12. Been in a car accident? tons!
>13. Croutons or bacon bits: CROUUUUTTTONNNSS!!!
>14. Favourite day of the week? Friday...afternoon...the anticipation of work being over
>15. Favourite Restaurant: In ottawa: caveau de Sczhewan, anywhere with Poutine (Nickel's, Zak's, etc), East Side Marios. In California: lol ghetto Red Robin...BJs...anywhere with Pho or Thai and i'm good to go....
>16.Favourite flower? Calla Lillies and blue irises
>17. Favorite sport to watch? cheerleading on ESPN, hockey if i can catch it
>18. Favorite drink? girly drinks...although Stefanie's got me hooked on just shots of tequila
>19. Favorite ice cream? not a big ice cream fan, but otherwise vanilla/chocolate "swirl" or butter pecan
>21. Favorite fast food restaurant? IN N OUT BABY!!!
>22. What color is your bedroom carpet? nasty beige with weird spots
>23. How many times you failed your driver's test? In Cali, i should have failed it...i did so many things wrong (Adam and I had broken up the night before)...and yet the guy acted like I was a perfect driver. So goes to show you how well cali drivers are.
>24. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? my coworker Ryan
>25. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target!!
>27. Bedtime: If i got to the gym: midnight...if i don't go...10ish.
>28. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? I doubt anyone will, i'm just THAT bored and procrastinating right now
>29. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to
>respond? Syl
>30. Who are you the most curious about their responses to this quiz? I don't even know who i'm going to send this to yet
>31. Favorite TV shows? OHHH let's begin the list: Real World, Laguna Beach, Surreal Life, Breaking Bonaduce, Dr. 90210, THE OC, My Name is Earl, Lost, ER, SNL, Desperate Housewives...i think that's it.
]>32. Last person you went to dinner with? Crap. I don't remember when I had dinner last with someone. WTF. Does pizza on Friday night with kraig count?
>33. Ford or Chevy? eww I don't do american cars.
>34. What are you listening to right now? Madonna of course
35. What is your favorite color? baby blue, baby pink
>36. How many tattoos do you have? zerooooo....I think after awhile they look nasty on the skin
>38. Which came first the chicken or the egg? A cow gave birth to a chicken, who then in turn laid an egg....
>39. How many people are you sending this to? No one, it's going on my blog
>40. What musician alive or dead would you have lunch with? Elvis...so that I can sell his fork, knife, and napkin on ebay later.
"Old people can be so sweet"
A few things to get to, since no blogging for the rest of the week.
Laguna Beach...wtf!...they have a BOOK? I love Laguna Beach, but come on fans should know when theyr'e stretching their two seconds left of fame...and what is up with that girl CRYING? Geezus it's only Talan...they aren't even reality show celebs, they're people that had a camera follow them. A camera could follow that crazy crying girl. And Talan is NASTY...not like my boy Stephen...now HE is worth bawling over.
Now the sun is setting,
Getting ready for tomorrow.Soon the moon'll be glowing,
Showing off the moonlight.
Take a look above you,
Discover the view.
If you haven't noticed,
Please do. Please do. Please do.
~Kermit the Frog
Now that Angelina and Brad have made it publicly official they're a couple....I realized...I just don't like them. I really do miss the Brad and Jen days. They look so....unapprochoable as a couple. She's got that "I'm the sexiest woman on the planet but I'm also mentally crazy and I'm a UN ambassador who helps the world's children and my dad is Jon Voight" thing going on...and now he's not the "hot husband next door", now he's the "I'm uber good looking while I help my girlfriend help the world's children and who's dad is Jon Voight"...
And I do NOT think Jennifer Aniston is pretty, but Vince Vaughn is hot in that "my brother's cool friend" kind of way, and the two of the make that "almost good looking...but not quite" kind of couple...so I totally approve and I'm now on Team Jen.
Let's go through the teams shall we?
I'm on:
Team LC (aka Lauren)
Team Aniston
Team Ritchie
I should get a tshirt for each. I also HAVE to buy a "Donna Martin graduates!" shirt....doesn't fall under my "elegance and refinement" goal for 2006, but that's just too good to pass up.
Forbes magazine listed the Top 10 aphrodisiacs (not sure what that has to do about finances, but whatever):
Barry White tunes: Truly frigid is the heart, mind and body that won't melt to the mellifluous come-ons of the most one-track baritone in history. Try: "It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me," "Your Love--So Good I Can Taste It," "I'm Qualified to Satisfy You," "I'll Do For You Anything You Want Me To," and of course, "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe."
Hmmm, never had anyone try that on me...probably because I keep thinking of Bleeding Gums Murphy every time I hear Barry White...but I did spend a weekend away listening to Marvin Gaye...I highly recommend it!
A few stiff drinks: A zillion tipsy one-night-standers can't be wrong. Though the ladies on Sex In The City still swill Cosmos, in the end it really doesn't matter what you drink, so long as you do. Just be careful: As Shakespeare noted of booze in "Macbeth": "it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance."
That should be #1. It may take away the performance of men, but certainly not for chicks.
A dozen oysters: If, as Jonathan Swift observed, "He was a bold man that first eat an oyster," then he was a brilliant man that first tried these tangy and lubricious little bi-pods for seduction. Freshen up afterwards with a moist towelette.
I'd rather put a fork in my eye than eat an oyster
Promises, promises: "Sure, baby, I'll hook you up with that producer friend of mine." "Of course they're orchestra seats--nothing less for you, my little turtledove." "Paris in the fall? No problem, sweetie." Repeat as necessary.
Interesting idea. I can't imagine what I could ever promise a guy (other than sex itself) that would actually turn a guy on. I suppose I could tell Kraig "yes sweetie, you can get Raiders season tix again"...
A little skin: There's a reason why the Taliban covers women in chadors--although the same can be said for men as well. There's nothing like a bared midriff or well-turned calf to put a snap in your turban.
Shouldn't this be #2? And speaking of skin, let's go through the most important parts of a guy's body: his hands (we do NOT want nasty ugly hands touching us...get an effing manicure if you have to), the back of his neck (why a haircut is SO important...a guy's neck is like....gold....), and shoulders...the guy has to be able to swing you over his shoulders in case of a fire...
Manolo Blahniks: Well, they're certainly not made for walking. . . Sexy for her, seductive for him and at those prices, cheaper than a suite at the Ritz. In basic black leather, of course.
The key thing here is shoes...see my other blog written by Felicity Huffman...we fantastize about shoes. Yes, a damn fine shoe can get any girl's blood pumping to the nether-regions.
Backrubs: Alternately chaste and erotic at the same time, backrubs are a tried-and-true prelude to, ahem, more intimate relations. The theory is that once someone lets you knead their neck and shoulders they may let you satisfy other needs as well.
This should be #3...backrubs are a "legitimate" method to touch someone, playing innocent when there's an ulterior motive and both people know it.
Perfume: Yeats wrote that "love comes in at the eye" but, as anyone who has ever had their olfactory bells rung by a whiff of Chanel No. 5 can tell you, the nose can also successfully stimulate the pheromones. It's a matter of basic chemistry: perfume + body heat = arousal.
Should be #4. A guy's pheromones make ALL the difference. The only thing that sucks is when a guy sprays on too much cologne, and then if you kiss his neck and you taste it...nasty.
Money: Call us cynical but few aphrodisiacs are as potent as a big bank account. Money may not be able to buy love but what it can buy may make you a lot more attractive.
I'd like to say this isn't true, but I also dated a rich guy for almost 4 years and I'm sure somewhere in there the money part was a big turn on!
A diamond engagement ring: The ultimate aphrodisiac. For women, that is. For men, it can often have quite the reverse effect.
True dat.
I'm hungry. Gonna scour the building for food. Probably Famous Amos. Damn that crunchy cookie. i don't even LIKE chocolate chip cookies really.
The song of the day is Don't Forget About Us by Mariah Carey
Baby I must confess
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about
Laguna Beach...wtf!...they have a BOOK? I love Laguna Beach, but come on fans should know when theyr'e stretching their two seconds left of fame...and what is up with that girl CRYING? Geezus it's only Talan...they aren't even reality show celebs, they're people that had a camera follow them. A camera could follow that crazy crying girl. And Talan is NASTY...not like my boy Stephen...now HE is worth bawling over.
Now the sun is setting,
Getting ready for tomorrow.Soon the moon'll be glowing,
Showing off the moonlight.
Take a look above you,
Discover the view.
If you haven't noticed,
Please do. Please do. Please do.
~Kermit the Frog
Now that Angelina and Brad have made it publicly official they're a couple....I realized...I just don't like them. I really do miss the Brad and Jen days. They look so....unapprochoable as a couple. She's got that "I'm the sexiest woman on the planet but I'm also mentally crazy and I'm a UN ambassador who helps the world's children and my dad is Jon Voight" thing going on...and now he's not the "hot husband next door", now he's the "I'm uber good looking while I help my girlfriend help the world's children and who's dad is Jon Voight"...
And I do NOT think Jennifer Aniston is pretty, but Vince Vaughn is hot in that "my brother's cool friend" kind of way, and the two of the make that "almost good looking...but not quite" kind of couple...so I totally approve and I'm now on Team Jen.
Let's go through the teams shall we?
I'm on:
Team LC (aka Lauren)
Team Aniston
Team Ritchie
I should get a tshirt for each. I also HAVE to buy a "Donna Martin graduates!" shirt....doesn't fall under my "elegance and refinement" goal for 2006, but that's just too good to pass up.
Forbes magazine listed the Top 10 aphrodisiacs (not sure what that has to do about finances, but whatever):
Barry White tunes: Truly frigid is the heart, mind and body that won't melt to the mellifluous come-ons of the most one-track baritone in history. Try: "It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me," "Your Love--So Good I Can Taste It," "I'm Qualified to Satisfy You," "I'll Do For You Anything You Want Me To," and of course, "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe."
Hmmm, never had anyone try that on me...probably because I keep thinking of Bleeding Gums Murphy every time I hear Barry White...but I did spend a weekend away listening to Marvin Gaye...I highly recommend it!
A few stiff drinks: A zillion tipsy one-night-standers can't be wrong. Though the ladies on Sex In The City still swill Cosmos, in the end it really doesn't matter what you drink, so long as you do. Just be careful: As Shakespeare noted of booze in "Macbeth": "it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance."
That should be #1. It may take away the performance of men, but certainly not for chicks.
A dozen oysters: If, as Jonathan Swift observed, "He was a bold man that first eat an oyster," then he was a brilliant man that first tried these tangy and lubricious little bi-pods for seduction. Freshen up afterwards with a moist towelette.
I'd rather put a fork in my eye than eat an oyster
Promises, promises: "Sure, baby, I'll hook you up with that producer friend of mine." "Of course they're orchestra seats--nothing less for you, my little turtledove." "Paris in the fall? No problem, sweetie." Repeat as necessary.
Interesting idea. I can't imagine what I could ever promise a guy (other than sex itself) that would actually turn a guy on. I suppose I could tell Kraig "yes sweetie, you can get Raiders season tix again"...
A little skin: There's a reason why the Taliban covers women in chadors--although the same can be said for men as well. There's nothing like a bared midriff or well-turned calf to put a snap in your turban.
Shouldn't this be #2? And speaking of skin, let's go through the most important parts of a guy's body: his hands (we do NOT want nasty ugly hands touching us...get an effing manicure if you have to), the back of his neck (why a haircut is SO important...a guy's neck is like....gold....), and shoulders...the guy has to be able to swing you over his shoulders in case of a fire...
Manolo Blahniks: Well, they're certainly not made for walking. . . Sexy for her, seductive for him and at those prices, cheaper than a suite at the Ritz. In basic black leather, of course.
The key thing here is shoes...see my other blog written by Felicity Huffman...we fantastize about shoes. Yes, a damn fine shoe can get any girl's blood pumping to the nether-regions.
Backrubs: Alternately chaste and erotic at the same time, backrubs are a tried-and-true prelude to, ahem, more intimate relations. The theory is that once someone lets you knead their neck and shoulders they may let you satisfy other needs as well.
This should be #3...backrubs are a "legitimate" method to touch someone, playing innocent when there's an ulterior motive and both people know it.
Perfume: Yeats wrote that "love comes in at the eye" but, as anyone who has ever had their olfactory bells rung by a whiff of Chanel No. 5 can tell you, the nose can also successfully stimulate the pheromones. It's a matter of basic chemistry: perfume + body heat = arousal.
Should be #4. A guy's pheromones make ALL the difference. The only thing that sucks is when a guy sprays on too much cologne, and then if you kiss his neck and you taste it...nasty.
Money: Call us cynical but few aphrodisiacs are as potent as a big bank account. Money may not be able to buy love but what it can buy may make you a lot more attractive.
I'd like to say this isn't true, but I also dated a rich guy for almost 4 years and I'm sure somewhere in there the money part was a big turn on!
A diamond engagement ring: The ultimate aphrodisiac. For women, that is. For men, it can often have quite the reverse effect.
True dat.
I'm hungry. Gonna scour the building for food. Probably Famous Amos. Damn that crunchy cookie. i don't even LIKE chocolate chip cookies really.
The song of the day is Don't Forget About Us by Mariah Carey
Baby I must confess
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Kissing my blog just feels right
Ha ha I never do these surveys but I got it from Beatriz's myspace page so...why not:
Which I get the feeling is the answer to everything in that quiz.
| You're an Passionate Kisser |
 For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble |
Which I get the feeling is the answer to everything in that quiz.
I like my blog with no ice
I got an email from Erin who's in labor (I gotta give props to someone who will send an email to people when she's having contractions...especially since she uses dial-up), and she wrote:
This morning I spent an hour running (ya, picture it!) around the front lawn in the snow with MacKenna while Greg got the plastic up on the windows to cut down on the drafts.
Anyone who was raised in California would have NO IDEA what she's talking about. Kind of made me smile. Kinda makes me homesick.
...
but also makes me glad that I'm not the one putting plastic on my windows to keep out the drafts this winter.
On a different story....
Marmalade DEFINITELY needs to go back on her medication. She peed on Kraig this morning. I give her credit though, at least she didn't do it on ME which is obviously the most important part. My poor baby just has alot of anxiety and stress...you would too if the only other one of your species was a big dairy cow who keeps mauling you.
I had a dream last night that had hints of "Lost" in it, there was a quarantine area and that "dharma" logo was everywhere. Nicole's cat Chelsea got infected with something and the only way we could keep safe was to stay in a room with the doors closed, and I kept having to go in and out and the entire time Nicole just kept saying "but my BABY! my poor BABY!" (we're talking about CHelsea)... I don't know what that dream means, when you dream about someone else's cat getting all Night Of The Living Dead on you....
This morning I spent an hour running (ya, picture it!) around the front lawn in the snow with MacKenna while Greg got the plastic up on the windows to cut down on the drafts.
Anyone who was raised in California would have NO IDEA what she's talking about. Kind of made me smile. Kinda makes me homesick.
...
but also makes me glad that I'm not the one putting plastic on my windows to keep out the drafts this winter.
On a different story....
Marmalade DEFINITELY needs to go back on her medication. She peed on Kraig this morning. I give her credit though, at least she didn't do it on ME which is obviously the most important part. My poor baby just has alot of anxiety and stress...you would too if the only other one of your species was a big dairy cow who keeps mauling you.
I had a dream last night that had hints of "Lost" in it, there was a quarantine area and that "dharma" logo was everywhere. Nicole's cat Chelsea got infected with something and the only way we could keep safe was to stay in a room with the doors closed, and I kept having to go in and out and the entire time Nicole just kept saying "but my BABY! my poor BABY!" (we're talking about CHelsea)... I don't know what that dream means, when you dream about someone else's cat getting all Night Of The Living Dead on you....
Friday, November 18, 2005
We're all strangers. I'm Seth. I like comic books. You obviously like...uhhh...flaming-heart tattoos
So much to get to, so little blog space.
1. The Husband of the Year for 2004 was Nick Lachey. His 5-year plan to de-spoil Jessica was brilliant. The award for 2005 hands down goes to Rev. Run....in fact, he should get husband of the year AND Father of the Year.
IN FACT....when I grow up, I want to be just like Rev Run. In last night's finale he kept bugging his wife by launching into Foo Fighters at random innapropriate moments...that's exactly what I would do. And he's a fantastic father...okay not really but he's FUNNY which is more important.
2. If i can't be Run when I grow up, then I want to be Summer from the OC. In fact, I might even want to be Taylor Townsend because she's in her own loony world. Really, I can't stress enough how much I want to be a 16 year old kid in Newport or Laguna Beach.
3. Sorry, no meaningful IMs with my mom lately....I haven't even replied to her when she's sent messages...too busy/tired/sick to make the effort. I can't stress enough the mental effort it takes to not argue with her.
4. I realized I really am an idiot...I've barely kept up my French, and back in the day I used to be able to read Arabic. Couldn't understand a word of it, but I could read it. Well after I was 16 or so I stopped practicing and never kept it up, sort of as a silent protest at my dad for making me learn to read something that I don't understand....the smart thing to do would have been to LEARN THE EFFING LANGUAGE...now I think i could recite the alphabet, at best.
5. It's disgusting how much sleep I plan on doing over Thanksgiving weekend. Seriously. Don't even check for a pulse. I plan on having permanent pillow marks on my face. I'm salivating at the thought of it.
6. I can't believe Tuesday will be the last time we get to have indian with Nicole. WTF. It's an abomination against the working man to not be able to take a longer lunch in order to get your indian groove on.
7. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best of you....
8. The Album of the Year in 2004 was Gwen's solo debut....for 2005, clearly, it's Madonna's Confessions On a Dance Floor. Fantabulous.
9. I think I need to put Marmalade back on anti-anxiety medication. Yes, Kitty Prozac. I hate doing that to her....she's calmer but she also ends up being a completely different cat, and I hate that...I always end up taking her off of it because I miss my Marmalade. But this peeing thing is out of control, and I've been TRYING to give her more attention but it's hard at 5am!
10. Self tanner is the most fabulous thing on earth.
11. A gay hairdresser who knows the cast of Laguna Beach is the most fabulous thing on earth. Wtf: apparently Stephen is SHORT?! He towers over Kristen. But apparently he IS hot. Which I already knew. But Henry claims he's gay. He is SOOOO not gay. He can't be. He CAN'T. And he's not short.
Saw Derailed yesterday. The "takeaways" from the movie:
- Don't f*ck around behind your wife's back
- When someone asks you for a chunk of cash, don't give it, because then they'll come back wanting more
- Don't try pulling a move like pushing a car into the ocean...it only works in movies
- The ticket takers on the train are Nazis
On another note, there's one part where the bad guy starts speaking in French (with no subtitles) and he said something that translated to "kiss your ass"...but then I remembered the word he used for "kiss" was a word that a teacher once told us to REALLY not use, even though yes in the dictionary it translated to "kiss"...
And yesterday finally...after 15 years of wondering why it was bad to say that word even though it meant kiss, I realized it translated to "f*ck"....and the dude in the movie was saying how he was pretty much f*cking Clive Owen up the ass...
After 15 years of not knowing, I'm finally at peace.
On another note, Jennifer Aniston has a great body but really, her face is NOT attractive...she maxes out her looks...but...she's just not a pretty girl. I'm sorry. She's not.
The song of the day is My Hump by B.E.P...I hate Black Eyed Peas but I do like this song, and for some reason every time I wear this skirt I keep thinking that song is playing when I walk.
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
1. The Husband of the Year for 2004 was Nick Lachey. His 5-year plan to de-spoil Jessica was brilliant. The award for 2005 hands down goes to Rev. Run....in fact, he should get husband of the year AND Father of the Year.
IN FACT....when I grow up, I want to be just like Rev Run. In last night's finale he kept bugging his wife by launching into Foo Fighters at random innapropriate moments...that's exactly what I would do. And he's a fantastic father...okay not really but he's FUNNY which is more important.
2. If i can't be Run when I grow up, then I want to be Summer from the OC. In fact, I might even want to be Taylor Townsend because she's in her own loony world. Really, I can't stress enough how much I want to be a 16 year old kid in Newport or Laguna Beach.
3. Sorry, no meaningful IMs with my mom lately....I haven't even replied to her when she's sent messages...too busy/tired/sick to make the effort. I can't stress enough the mental effort it takes to not argue with her.
4. I realized I really am an idiot...I've barely kept up my French, and back in the day I used to be able to read Arabic. Couldn't understand a word of it, but I could read it. Well after I was 16 or so I stopped practicing and never kept it up, sort of as a silent protest at my dad for making me learn to read something that I don't understand....the smart thing to do would have been to LEARN THE EFFING LANGUAGE...now I think i could recite the alphabet, at best.
5. It's disgusting how much sleep I plan on doing over Thanksgiving weekend. Seriously. Don't even check for a pulse. I plan on having permanent pillow marks on my face. I'm salivating at the thought of it.
6. I can't believe Tuesday will be the last time we get to have indian with Nicole. WTF. It's an abomination against the working man to not be able to take a longer lunch in order to get your indian groove on.
7. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best of you....
8. The Album of the Year in 2004 was Gwen's solo debut....for 2005, clearly, it's Madonna's Confessions On a Dance Floor. Fantabulous.
9. I think I need to put Marmalade back on anti-anxiety medication. Yes, Kitty Prozac. I hate doing that to her....she's calmer but she also ends up being a completely different cat, and I hate that...I always end up taking her off of it because I miss my Marmalade. But this peeing thing is out of control, and I've been TRYING to give her more attention but it's hard at 5am!
10. Self tanner is the most fabulous thing on earth.
11. A gay hairdresser who knows the cast of Laguna Beach is the most fabulous thing on earth. Wtf: apparently Stephen is SHORT?! He towers over Kristen. But apparently he IS hot. Which I already knew. But Henry claims he's gay. He is SOOOO not gay. He can't be. He CAN'T. And he's not short.
Saw Derailed yesterday. The "takeaways" from the movie:
- Don't f*ck around behind your wife's back
- When someone asks you for a chunk of cash, don't give it, because then they'll come back wanting more
- Don't try pulling a move like pushing a car into the ocean...it only works in movies
- The ticket takers on the train are Nazis
On another note, there's one part where the bad guy starts speaking in French (with no subtitles) and he said something that translated to "kiss your ass"...but then I remembered the word he used for "kiss" was a word that a teacher once told us to REALLY not use, even though yes in the dictionary it translated to "kiss"...
And yesterday finally...after 15 years of wondering why it was bad to say that word even though it meant kiss, I realized it translated to "f*ck"....and the dude in the movie was saying how he was pretty much f*cking Clive Owen up the ass...
After 15 years of not knowing, I'm finally at peace.
On another note, Jennifer Aniston has a great body but really, her face is NOT attractive...she maxes out her looks...but...she's just not a pretty girl. I'm sorry. She's not.
The song of the day is My Hump by B.E.P...I hate Black Eyed Peas but I do like this song, and for some reason every time I wear this skirt I keep thinking that song is playing when I walk.
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
MADONNA DAY! MADONNA DAY!
I know.
Blow my mind.
The new Madonna CD is out.
And it's MOTHER EFFING FANTASTIC.
Today's song of the day is Forbidden Love by of course, Madonna...
Just one kiss on my lips
was all it took to seal the future
Just one look from your eyes
was like a certain kind of torture
Once upon a time
there was a boy and there was a girl
Just one touch from your hands
was all it took to make me falter
[Chorus:]
Forbidden love, are we supposed to be together?
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Forbidden love, we save our destiny forever
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Just one smile on your face
was all it took to change my fortune
Just one word from your mouth
was all I needed to be certain
Once upon a time
there was a boy and there was a girl
Hearts that intertwine
they lived in a different kind of world
[Chorus]
Just one kiss, just one touch, just one look
[Chorus - twice]
Just one kiss, just one touch, just one look, just one love
One...
Blow my mind.
The new Madonna CD is out.
And it's MOTHER EFFING FANTASTIC.
Today's song of the day is Forbidden Love by of course, Madonna...
Just one kiss on my lips
was all it took to seal the future
Just one look from your eyes
was like a certain kind of torture
Once upon a time
there was a boy and there was a girl
Just one touch from your hands
was all it took to make me falter
[Chorus:]
Forbidden love, are we supposed to be together?
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Forbidden love, we save our destiny forever
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Just one smile on your face
was all it took to change my fortune
Just one word from your mouth
was all I needed to be certain
Once upon a time
there was a boy and there was a girl
Hearts that intertwine
they lived in a different kind of world
[Chorus]
Just one kiss, just one touch, just one look
[Chorus - twice]
Just one kiss, just one touch, just one look, just one love
One...
Two IMs with my mom
Monday's IM (SEE i was nicer to her!):
My_Mom: hi there
ME: how are you?
My_Mom: fine and u
ME: Doing good. ANything exciting happen this weekend?
My_Mom: how was the weekend?
My_Mom: no, same ole thing here
ME: have to talk to a someone, brb
My_Mom: finally we are done with the leaves, took one month to rake, with everyone elses leaves flying into our backyard, so i picked a few more up here and there, and now we can relax
My_Mom: k
My_Mom: smokey isnt into that laser teaser as marma and stash are
My_Mom: he plays a bit, but looses interest, realizing its just a teaser
My_Mom: c u
ME: i'm ehre now
My_Mom: ok
My_Mom: well u are busy
ME: yup
My_Mom: what did u do the weekend
My_Mom: here the weather was mild like +15
My_Mom: today +8
ME: i went to see a concert on Sat night. Yesterday i worked.
My_Mom: we used the good weather to finish out yard
My_Mom: worked at the office?
ME: partially, and then also at home.
My_Mom: r u the only technical writer in your office?
My_Mom: why does it take 6 months to finish a document
ME: i never said it took 6 months to finish something, and i'm not the only tech writer.
My_Mom: how many are there in your office?
ME: 2. I'm not a full time technical writer, i do other things.
My_Mom: and for what are u writing a technical document?
ME: one of our products.
My_Mom: one product should be done many times over?
My_Mom: how many products do u have?
My_Mom: what other things do u do in the office?
ME: go see our website: ((link to my company's website))
My_Mom: k
My_Mom: lots of products
ME: yep
My_Mom: ((insert a line that my mom shouldn't have written via IM))
My_Mom: anyway, i leave u alone so u can concentrate on your work
ME: okay
Tuesday's IM:
My_Mom: hi sabina, whats up
ME: nothing how are you
My_Mom: doing ok
My_Mom: snowing today
My_Mom: but freezing rain later on and tomorrow and thursday its warmer again, after that getting colder
ME: So question...in muslim funerals, do muslims get buried in a box or in the ground?
My_Mom: in a box
ME: good to know.
My_Mom: hehe
My_Mom: a cheap plywood box
My_Mom: but u can have a fancy coffin, if u think your deceased body is worth that much
ME: I can't even imagine how expensive a plot of land is for burial in california. It's like buying a small house.
My_Mom: its up to the person
My_Mom: well muslims have their own arrangements and burial grounds at reasonable prices
ME: Well okay that's great but it's still real estate, and i'm sure there's limited room.
My_Mom: like u have to ask the mosque where the burial site is
ME: it's still california...they had to buy the land themselves for super pricey
ME: The burial site is in Riverside, which is WAY out.
My_Mom: the muslim one?
My_Mom: ottawa has a site now, burial of a muslim there costs 4000 $ I think
My_Mom: the islamic institue in cornwall bought a piece of land adjacent to them from the city at a reasonable price and its now a cemetary where people get buried for free
ME: good to know
My_Mom: u have to find out where those muslim cemetaries are
ME: okay
My_Mom: and ask how much it costs, muslims do it cheaper and there is no embalming, the body is buried immediately according to islamic tradition
My_Mom: its all that fuss, embalming, keeping the body in a cooler and for viewing, expensive cars for hire etc., expensive coffin, it ends up to 20 000 $
ME: okay
My_Mom: thats why most people now want cremation, it's cheaper and only costs like 2000 - 4000
ME: yep
My_Mom: but muslims want to keep it simple and thats why the cost stays down
My_Mom: its actually an islamic duty to keep a burial simple, as all else in life
ME: okay
My_Mom: also if one has a lot of money, u can spend a lot for it too, but embalming is forbidden and not burying the body as fast as possible
My_Mom: make sure no cremation ok
My_Mom: make sure kraig doesnt do that
ME: i know
My_Mom: like he doesnt know
ME: he knows
My_Mom: ok
My_Mom: well its just a very important thing
ME: ok
My_Mom: christians and jews arent supposed to cremate either, but with the costs of a normal burial so high, they opt for it
ME: ok
My_Mom: anyway, if god forbid something does happen, just call the local mosque and they will step in and help, tell u or kraig how to go about
ME: ok
My_Mom: and usually the plot might be cheaper, if the land is owned by muslims already
ME: ok
My_Mom: they are not doing this to do business, but to offer a service
ME: ok
My_Mom: also i can imagine it might be more expensive in cali, with everything else being so expensive
ME: ok
My_Mom: would be interesting to find out, the local mosque can give u some information about it
ME: ok
My_Mom: how is the weather there?
ME: warm
My_Mom: how is marmalade, wish i could hug her and stashi pooh
ME: she's fine
My_Mom: stashi still being full of mischief ?
My_Mom: annoying poor marma
ME: yep, they wrestle
My_Mom: hehe, he is just playful
My_Mom: some woman in manitoba won last saturday's 649 lotto of 27 mill
My_Mom: lucky woman
My_Mom: trudi gave me a super7 ticket good for 10 weeks on my birthday, nothing
ME: aww
My_Mom: well hello 27 mill, i could live with that
My_Mom: imagine
My_Mom: even 1 mill i would be thrilled
My_Mom: question....
My_Mom: is it important to click on "log out" when leaving your email?
My_Mom: or is it ok just to close the window?
ME: you can close the window, use "log out" if you're sharing a computer with someone, like at a librry
ME: library
My_Mom: k
My_Mom: c u
ME: bye
My_Mom: hi there
ME: how are you?
My_Mom: fine and u
ME: Doing good. ANything exciting happen this weekend?
My_Mom: how was the weekend?
My_Mom: no, same ole thing here
ME: have to talk to a someone, brb
My_Mom: finally we are done with the leaves, took one month to rake, with everyone elses leaves flying into our backyard, so i picked a few more up here and there, and now we can relax
My_Mom: k
My_Mom: smokey isnt into that laser teaser as marma and stash are
My_Mom: he plays a bit, but looses interest, realizing its just a teaser
My_Mom: c u
ME: i'm ehre now
My_Mom: ok
My_Mom: well u are busy
ME: yup
My_Mom: what did u do the weekend
My_Mom: here the weather was mild like +15
My_Mom: today +8
ME: i went to see a concert on Sat night. Yesterday i worked.
My_Mom: we used the good weather to finish out yard
My_Mom: worked at the office?
ME: partially, and then also at home.
My_Mom: r u the only technical writer in your office?
My_Mom: why does it take 6 months to finish a document
ME: i never said it took 6 months to finish something, and i'm not the only tech writer.
My_Mom: how many are there in your office?
ME: 2. I'm not a full time technical writer, i do other things.
My_Mom: and for what are u writing a technical document?
ME: one of our products.
My_Mom: one product should be done many times over?
My_Mom: how many products do u have?
My_Mom: what other things do u do in the office?
ME: go see our website: ((link to my company's website))
My_Mom: k
My_Mom: lots of products
ME: yep
My_Mom: ((insert a line that my mom shouldn't have written via IM))
My_Mom: anyway, i leave u alone so u can concentrate on your work
ME: okay
Tuesday's IM:
My_Mom: hi sabina, whats up
ME: nothing how are you
My_Mom: doing ok
My_Mom: snowing today
My_Mom: but freezing rain later on and tomorrow and thursday its warmer again, after that getting colder
ME: So question...in muslim funerals, do muslims get buried in a box or in the ground?
My_Mom: in a box
ME: good to know.
My_Mom: hehe
My_Mom: a cheap plywood box
My_Mom: but u can have a fancy coffin, if u think your deceased body is worth that much
ME: I can't even imagine how expensive a plot of land is for burial in california. It's like buying a small house.
My_Mom: its up to the person
My_Mom: well muslims have their own arrangements and burial grounds at reasonable prices
ME: Well okay that's great but it's still real estate, and i'm sure there's limited room.
My_Mom: like u have to ask the mosque where the burial site is
ME: it's still california...they had to buy the land themselves for super pricey
ME: The burial site is in Riverside, which is WAY out.
My_Mom: the muslim one?
My_Mom: ottawa has a site now, burial of a muslim there costs 4000 $ I think
My_Mom: the islamic institue in cornwall bought a piece of land adjacent to them from the city at a reasonable price and its now a cemetary where people get buried for free
ME: good to know
My_Mom: u have to find out where those muslim cemetaries are
ME: okay
My_Mom: and ask how much it costs, muslims do it cheaper and there is no embalming, the body is buried immediately according to islamic tradition
My_Mom: its all that fuss, embalming, keeping the body in a cooler and for viewing, expensive cars for hire etc., expensive coffin, it ends up to 20 000 $
ME: okay
My_Mom: thats why most people now want cremation, it's cheaper and only costs like 2000 - 4000
ME: yep
My_Mom: but muslims want to keep it simple and thats why the cost stays down
My_Mom: its actually an islamic duty to keep a burial simple, as all else in life
ME: okay
My_Mom: also if one has a lot of money, u can spend a lot for it too, but embalming is forbidden and not burying the body as fast as possible
My_Mom: make sure no cremation ok
My_Mom: make sure kraig doesnt do that
ME: i know
My_Mom: like he doesnt know
ME: he knows
My_Mom: ok
My_Mom: well its just a very important thing
ME: ok
My_Mom: christians and jews arent supposed to cremate either, but with the costs of a normal burial so high, they opt for it
ME: ok
My_Mom: anyway, if god forbid something does happen, just call the local mosque and they will step in and help, tell u or kraig how to go about
ME: ok
My_Mom: and usually the plot might be cheaper, if the land is owned by muslims already
ME: ok
My_Mom: they are not doing this to do business, but to offer a service
ME: ok
My_Mom: also i can imagine it might be more expensive in cali, with everything else being so expensive
ME: ok
My_Mom: would be interesting to find out, the local mosque can give u some information about it
ME: ok
My_Mom: how is the weather there?
ME: warm
My_Mom: how is marmalade, wish i could hug her and stashi pooh
ME: she's fine
My_Mom: stashi still being full of mischief ?
My_Mom: annoying poor marma
ME: yep, they wrestle
My_Mom: hehe, he is just playful
My_Mom: some woman in manitoba won last saturday's 649 lotto of 27 mill
My_Mom: lucky woman
My_Mom: trudi gave me a super7 ticket good for 10 weeks on my birthday, nothing
ME: aww
My_Mom: well hello 27 mill, i could live with that
My_Mom: imagine
My_Mom: even 1 mill i would be thrilled
My_Mom: question....
My_Mom: is it important to click on "log out" when leaving your email?
My_Mom: or is it ok just to close the window?
ME: you can close the window, use "log out" if you're sharing a computer with someone, like at a librry
ME: library
My_Mom: k
My_Mom: c u
ME: bye
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Movie Review: LE DIVORCE
Le Divorce (2003)
Directed by:
James Ivory
Starring:
Kate Hudson
Naomi Watts
Glenn Close
Stockard Channing
Plot Synopsis:
Isabel (Hudson) heads to Paris to help out her pregnant stepsister (Watts), and arrives to find that her husband (Poupaud) has abandoned her. Deciding not to cave to les ennuis, the sisters hit the Paris social scene, where they attend parties where natives and expatriates mingle. Cross-cultural romances and hijinx ensue.
Sabina's Review:
This movie blows goats!!!!
Directed by:
James Ivory
Starring:
Kate Hudson
Naomi Watts
Glenn Close
Stockard Channing
Plot Synopsis:
Isabel (Hudson) heads to Paris to help out her pregnant stepsister (Watts), and arrives to find that her husband (Poupaud) has abandoned her. Deciding not to cave to les ennuis, the sisters hit the Paris social scene, where they attend parties where natives and expatriates mingle. Cross-cultural romances and hijinx ensue.
Sabina's Review:
This movie blows goats!!!!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Blast from the past
I'm in the middle of cleaning and I'm putting away some stuff that I had grabbed from my parents' place this summer...out fell a note...it was a formal letter written by Darren T. , this dude that 2 of my friends were madly in love with (and one of them, Kelly, lost her virginity to him and then i was stuck listening to every horrible moment of it re-lived every single night on the phone as she agonized over him...geezus...)...he had written some formal letter thing for his job and I found it absolutely hilarious at the time, I asked him to let me have it when he was done (he used to clean apartments while he was a student).
August 22, 1991 **one year before she lost her virginity to him, so sad that I know the exact weekend she did that with him to this day**
On Saturday, June 15, 1001, I saw the resident from apartment 715 about to commence urinating down the garbage chute as I was doing a routine garbage run. As I was cleaning the ashtray, I saw him come out of his apartment (715) and walk into the disposal room (he didn't notice me). As I waslked over to clean the disposal room, I noticed the man was standing in front of the chute with the zipper of his jeans down and ready to urinate. He then noticed me and walked back into 715.
Also, on numerous occasions I've had to mop out the elevator after he had done his duty.
I've also had many complaints from tenants that the carpets in the elevators (now tile floor) smelled of urine.
((signature))
Darren T.
White Knight Cleaning
It cracked me up back then, and it cracks me up now.
August 22, 1991 **one year before she lost her virginity to him, so sad that I know the exact weekend she did that with him to this day**
On Saturday, June 15, 1001, I saw the resident from apartment 715 about to commence urinating down the garbage chute as I was doing a routine garbage run. As I was cleaning the ashtray, I saw him come out of his apartment (715) and walk into the disposal room (he didn't notice me). As I waslked over to clean the disposal room, I noticed the man was standing in front of the chute with the zipper of his jeans down and ready to urinate. He then noticed me and walked back into 715.
Also, on numerous occasions I've had to mop out the elevator after he had done his duty.
I've also had many complaints from tenants that the carpets in the elevators (now tile floor) smelled of urine.
((signature))
Darren T.
White Knight Cleaning
It cracked me up back then, and it cracks me up now.
Jaaaane says.....
I wasn't going to blog this weekend, because clearly I've been doing WAY too much random writing about nothing...but...
mother
effer
So i finally took my car in because I thought the wheel alignment was off (my passengers were in constant fear the car shook so much)...made Kraig wake up super early so I could be the first car in the shop...
ugh
ugh
UGH
There's some sort of wheel separation thing...and even Kraig was like "holy crap your tires on the inside are almost bald"...and my back struts are completely worn (I'm the QUEEN of buying struts...I should open up my own business)...
So what I hoped would cost maybe say $100....$200 bucks...
Is costing me almost $900.
The guy felt pretty bad for me because I was griping about my IAC motor issue from last time, so he's giving me free wheel alignment/balancing/whatever for life...
Will someone PLEASE kill me. Please.
NINE HUNDRED BUCKS.
I'm still recuperating from the property tax payment...I was banking on having no major costs between Sept and January (yes, even with Xmas...)...
That's $900 that could go to that gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS bracelet...
Or new clothes...
Or my ghetto master bathroom...
Or airfare somewhere...far far away....
Or partially towards a new laptop...
Or for the lipo I'm going to need after eating all the chocolate after seeing my credit card bill (Did I mention that I still have to pay for the lawyer who's setting up our trust/living trust stuff?).
Maybe I can convince Kraig to make some deposits at a sperm bank. Do we have one in orange county?
Oh the humanity. I'm having a serious mental breakdown right now.
And with interest rates...arhghghg....my mortgage is somewhere around $2500 a month....damn adjustable home equity line of credit...
End of my griping....I'm going to crawl in bed, wait for the car guy to call me, and pray that magically I wake up rich and fabulous and...well just rich.
(with less wrinkles)
Edited to add: picked up my car, and asked the guy "was it really THAT unsafe?"...he shows me my tires...the insides were so worn from the separation issue, the METAL was showing through...he told me he was amazed my tires didn't blow. What's sad...is that I have had my tires blow before. Good times.
Edited to add later: mother. effer. With today's charge, my credit card bill will be $2595. And i always pay my credit card bill in full. I think the cutoff was a few days ago, so hopefully today's charge will spill into next month's bill. Wait, next month's bill will have the other half of the lawyer's fee. ((BLEEP)). And here I wanted to "splurge" and spend $30 on a box of grey contact lenses. Time to start putting up stuff on ebay again!
mother
effer
So i finally took my car in because I thought the wheel alignment was off (my passengers were in constant fear the car shook so much)...made Kraig wake up super early so I could be the first car in the shop...
ugh
ugh
UGH
There's some sort of wheel separation thing...and even Kraig was like "holy crap your tires on the inside are almost bald"...and my back struts are completely worn (I'm the QUEEN of buying struts...I should open up my own business)...
So what I hoped would cost maybe say $100....$200 bucks...
Is costing me almost $900.
The guy felt pretty bad for me because I was griping about my IAC motor issue from last time, so he's giving me free wheel alignment/balancing/whatever for life...
Will someone PLEASE kill me. Please.
NINE HUNDRED BUCKS.
I'm still recuperating from the property tax payment...I was banking on having no major costs between Sept and January (yes, even with Xmas...)...
That's $900 that could go to that gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS bracelet...
Or new clothes...
Or my ghetto master bathroom...
Or airfare somewhere...far far away....
Or partially towards a new laptop...
Or for the lipo I'm going to need after eating all the chocolate after seeing my credit card bill (Did I mention that I still have to pay for the lawyer who's setting up our trust/living trust stuff?).
Maybe I can convince Kraig to make some deposits at a sperm bank. Do we have one in orange county?
Oh the humanity. I'm having a serious mental breakdown right now.
And with interest rates...arhghghg....my mortgage is somewhere around $2500 a month....damn adjustable home equity line of credit...
End of my griping....I'm going to crawl in bed, wait for the car guy to call me, and pray that magically I wake up rich and fabulous and...well just rich.
(with less wrinkles)
Edited to add: picked up my car, and asked the guy "was it really THAT unsafe?"...he shows me my tires...the insides were so worn from the separation issue, the METAL was showing through...he told me he was amazed my tires didn't blow. What's sad...is that I have had my tires blow before. Good times.
Edited to add later: mother. effer. With today's charge, my credit card bill will be $2595. And i always pay my credit card bill in full. I think the cutoff was a few days ago, so hopefully today's charge will spill into next month's bill. Wait, next month's bill will have the other half of the lawyer's fee. ((BLEEP)). And here I wanted to "splurge" and spend $30 on a box of grey contact lenses. Time to start putting up stuff on ebay again!
Friday, November 11, 2005
My blog has lots of wrinkles
Just to show how much i've effing aged in the past 2.5 years...a few wedding photos for you. Sigh. I look so YOUNG!
The wrinkles around my mouth are starting to get pretty bad. I look like an effing smoker.
On a completely unrelated note, I have to re-read Lion, Witch & The Wardrobe for the umpteenth time before I go see the movie. It's going to be SO effing awesome. Except for the actress who plays Lucy. WTF.
Getting old blows goats.
The wrinkles around my mouth are starting to get pretty bad. I look like an effing smoker.
On a completely unrelated note, I have to re-read Lion, Witch & The Wardrobe for the umpteenth time before I go see the movie. It's going to be SO effing awesome. Except for the actress who plays Lucy. WTF.
Getting old blows goats.
"Ryan, please don't hit Summer"
Only understood by people who watch the OC...
Everything I wish I knew in highschool, I could have learned from the OC
aka What We Can All Learn From The OC
1. Walk around with coffee. In a cardboard cup, not a mug or a to-go mug. If your highschool doesn't sell coffee, then just go to starbucks each morning and then carry aruond the empty cup all day. That's the ticket to popularity.
2. If you're too much of a p*ssy to fight someone yourself, your buddy from the boondocks (e.g. Chino) will always step in and initiate the first punch for you.
3. Forcing people to hang out with you overnight is no way to make friends. But it'll land you a guy every time.
4. Eating a bagel with shmear every day will make you a bushy eyebrowed happy-go-lucky lawyer from Berkeley too.
5. Every high school should have the skinny, dorky nerd who wears argyle but makes up for it with his wit and sarcasm....and if your highschool has one, then snag him while he's still considered a loser.**
6. If you're a guy, make sure you're skinnier than your girlfriend. Hot rich chicks dig that.
7. Even the most gorgeous girl in school can be hated because she wears sweaters tied around her neck.
8. Want to win a guy who's already got a girlfriend? Get the girlfriend to cheat on her boyfriend. (this works for the opposite sex as well).
9. Even enemy surfers have "surf-offs". Okay well they never did that on the OC. But it was suggested, and I agree.
10. Want to bond with a girl? Lie and tell her that you beat the crap out of someone with a baseball bat, but SHHHH it's a secret and no one knows. She'll be putty in your hand. Especially if she shot someone and can relate.
11. Girls with big teeth are insecure about losing their boyfriends. And they should. Those teeth can do SERIOUS damage. Don't worry...be happy....and file those suckers down.
12. When Seven of Nine starts calling you "Kiki", you know you're in trouble.
13. Don't ever, ever go through a friend's wallet to use her credit card.
Use it to find cash instead.
14. Want to blow a guy's mind away? Dress up like a comic book heroine. Even if it's NOT hallowe'en.
15. Don't ever, ever make out with your adopted-grandfather's girlfriend.
16. Even if you become a lesbian, someone still's gotta take out the trash and pay the rent.
17. In case it was a mystery: sleeping with your daughter's ex boyfriend WILL eff her up in the head. Bad. Especially if she lost her virginity to him.
18. If the aforementioned school nerd is a virgin, cut him some slack for the first time around. Him and Captain Oats will get it right the next time around...and the next....(it helps to wear the comic book heroine costume).
19. If you want to rule your school you don't need to be the most popular kid, you just need to be the one sleeping with the Dean.
20. Water polo guys are evil. And they have CRAZY floppy hair.
21. Having an affair with your coworker (who later leaves to join the cast of 4400) will cause you to be an alcoholic. Especially if you two went to a winery together.
22. If you're going to find a rich sugar daddy who might die of old age, make sure he really IS rich.
23. Stay away from people who look like Seven of Nine. Unless her name is Carrie :P
24. If you ever lose your alcholic drugged up friend in Mexico, just look in an alley. The answer is always in an alley.
The song of the day is Man, I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain...nothing like when your coworkers, your MALE EFFING COWORKERS, put songs in your head....
PS: I STILL WANT THAT BRACELET. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
**So my high school had no hot nerds, but the biggest nerd was Patrick B. Every class I had with him I was CONSTANTLY asking him his grades,b ecause I wanted to beat him and he was the smartest kid in school. Probably the coolest smart nerd ever.
In grade 8, when i first met him, I heard he had had surgery on his penis. But no one would talk to him about it. So i remember on a cross-country ski trip I sat next to him on the bus and flat out asked him if he had surgery on his man-meat. He went into SUPER detail about how they sliced it along the length, did whatever operation, and then sewed it back up.
It was a horrible, horrible penile tale to tell, but I highly respected him for having the balls (ha ha bad pun) to be honest with me about it.
Later on, when we were all applying to universities, he had applied and gotten into Laurentian, which was the most ghetto of them all. I was like "guy" (previous to saying "dude" i used to call people "guy" and "woman") "you can get into McGill, Western, Waterloo...the smart people schools. Why did you pick Laurentian?"
And he said
"Because that's where all the smart people are going. If i go to the dumb people school, then I'll be the smartest one there"...which proved that in the end, he was smarter than any of us could ever imagine.
Last I heard, he became an insane pot smoker.
However his goal in life, as Einstein-level as he was, was to build a log cabin in the woods and live with the wolves. Seriously. It HAD to be with the wolves.
I think I just might hunt him down on the 'net....
Everything I wish I knew in highschool, I could have learned from the OC
aka What We Can All Learn From The OC
1. Walk around with coffee. In a cardboard cup, not a mug or a to-go mug. If your highschool doesn't sell coffee, then just go to starbucks each morning and then carry aruond the empty cup all day. That's the ticket to popularity.
2. If you're too much of a p*ssy to fight someone yourself, your buddy from the boondocks (e.g. Chino) will always step in and initiate the first punch for you.
3. Forcing people to hang out with you overnight is no way to make friends. But it'll land you a guy every time.
4. Eating a bagel with shmear every day will make you a bushy eyebrowed happy-go-lucky lawyer from Berkeley too.
5. Every high school should have the skinny, dorky nerd who wears argyle but makes up for it with his wit and sarcasm....and if your highschool has one, then snag him while he's still considered a loser.**
6. If you're a guy, make sure you're skinnier than your girlfriend. Hot rich chicks dig that.
7. Even the most gorgeous girl in school can be hated because she wears sweaters tied around her neck.
8. Want to win a guy who's already got a girlfriend? Get the girlfriend to cheat on her boyfriend. (this works for the opposite sex as well).
9. Even enemy surfers have "surf-offs". Okay well they never did that on the OC. But it was suggested, and I agree.
10. Want to bond with a girl? Lie and tell her that you beat the crap out of someone with a baseball bat, but SHHHH it's a secret and no one knows. She'll be putty in your hand. Especially if she shot someone and can relate.
11. Girls with big teeth are insecure about losing their boyfriends. And they should. Those teeth can do SERIOUS damage. Don't worry...be happy....and file those suckers down.
12. When Seven of Nine starts calling you "Kiki", you know you're in trouble.
13. Don't ever, ever go through a friend's wallet to use her credit card.
Use it to find cash instead.
14. Want to blow a guy's mind away? Dress up like a comic book heroine. Even if it's NOT hallowe'en.
15. Don't ever, ever make out with your adopted-grandfather's girlfriend.
16. Even if you become a lesbian, someone still's gotta take out the trash and pay the rent.
17. In case it was a mystery: sleeping with your daughter's ex boyfriend WILL eff her up in the head. Bad. Especially if she lost her virginity to him.
18. If the aforementioned school nerd is a virgin, cut him some slack for the first time around. Him and Captain Oats will get it right the next time around...and the next....(it helps to wear the comic book heroine costume).
19. If you want to rule your school you don't need to be the most popular kid, you just need to be the one sleeping with the Dean.
20. Water polo guys are evil. And they have CRAZY floppy hair.
21. Having an affair with your coworker (who later leaves to join the cast of 4400) will cause you to be an alcoholic. Especially if you two went to a winery together.
22. If you're going to find a rich sugar daddy who might die of old age, make sure he really IS rich.
23. Stay away from people who look like Seven of Nine. Unless her name is Carrie :P
24. If you ever lose your alcholic drugged up friend in Mexico, just look in an alley. The answer is always in an alley.
The song of the day is Man, I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain...nothing like when your coworkers, your MALE EFFING COWORKERS, put songs in your head....
PS: I STILL WANT THAT BRACELET. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
**So my high school had no hot nerds, but the biggest nerd was Patrick B. Every class I had with him I was CONSTANTLY asking him his grades,b ecause I wanted to beat him and he was the smartest kid in school. Probably the coolest smart nerd ever.
In grade 8, when i first met him, I heard he had had surgery on his penis. But no one would talk to him about it. So i remember on a cross-country ski trip I sat next to him on the bus and flat out asked him if he had surgery on his man-meat. He went into SUPER detail about how they sliced it along the length, did whatever operation, and then sewed it back up.
It was a horrible, horrible penile tale to tell, but I highly respected him for having the balls (ha ha bad pun) to be honest with me about it.
Later on, when we were all applying to universities, he had applied and gotten into Laurentian, which was the most ghetto of them all. I was like "guy" (previous to saying "dude" i used to call people "guy" and "woman") "you can get into McGill, Western, Waterloo...the smart people schools. Why did you pick Laurentian?"
And he said
"Because that's where all the smart people are going. If i go to the dumb people school, then I'll be the smartest one there"...which proved that in the end, he was smarter than any of us could ever imagine.
Last I heard, he became an insane pot smoker.
However his goal in life, as Einstein-level as he was, was to build a log cabin in the woods and live with the wolves. Seriously. It HAD to be with the wolves.
I think I just might hunt him down on the 'net....
I could be fabulous....
Quick blog...
OMG
Why can't I be cute
and fabulous
and rich
and be better than Paris Hilton
And have cute hair
and cute clothes
like Nicole Richie now?!
OMG
Why can't I be cute
and fabulous
and rich
and be better than Paris Hilton
And have cute hair
and cute clothes
like Nicole Richie now?!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Matter fact I can't wait for your candy rain
How effing awesome is this:
'Terminator' TV series planned
FOX has given the go-ahead to a pilot for a new TV series rooted in the Terminator franchise.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles will track what happened to the character after she went on the run at the end of the second movie. John Connor will also feature.
"She has the weight of the world on her shoulder and she also has to raise a 14-year-old son who may be the salvation of the world," producer James Middleton told Variety.
Although exact details of the plotline have yet to be revealed, Middleton confirmed that the series would have a "connection" to the film franchise but added that it would not affect plans for a fourth big screen outing.
Writer Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds) added: "The last thing I want to do is take a title and exploit it. The show needs to stand on its own while still being respectful of the franchise."
If greenlit, the series would likely air in the 2006-07 season.
The only other thing that would be fabulous would be if Arnie can get off his ass and seriously make T4 like he says he will....
'Terminator' TV series planned
FOX has given the go-ahead to a pilot for a new TV series rooted in the Terminator franchise.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles will track what happened to the character after she went on the run at the end of the second movie. John Connor will also feature.
"She has the weight of the world on her shoulder and she also has to raise a 14-year-old son who may be the salvation of the world," producer James Middleton told Variety.
Although exact details of the plotline have yet to be revealed, Middleton confirmed that the series would have a "connection" to the film franchise but added that it would not affect plans for a fourth big screen outing.
Writer Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds) added: "The last thing I want to do is take a title and exploit it. The show needs to stand on its own while still being respectful of the franchise."
If greenlit, the series would likely air in the 2006-07 season.
The only other thing that would be fabulous would be if Arnie can get off his ass and seriously make T4 like he says he will....
Quick IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi
ME: what
MY_MOM: u are not very friendly, is everything ok?
ME: i'm fine
MY_MOM: hmmm u dont sound good
MY_MOM: are u sure u are ok?
ME: i'm fine, i had someone at my desk
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: u know those pakistani cookpots, they are no good to us with the new stove.... do u want some?
ME: what pots?
MY_MOM: the pots we used for cooking stews
MY_MOM: these are the best pots i ever had, cant get them here, only they are not flat bottomed, so no good now, but good for the other electric stove and a gas stove
ME: sure
MY_MOM: like u dont have any for making stews and meatballs
ME: i have a big stainless steel one, you saw it.
MY_MOM: so whenever we have luggage room we take them down
MY_MOM: not good enough
ME: it worked for me
MY_MOM: stainless steel is good for soups
MY_MOM: they burn the food easily
MY_MOM: plus i like them a bit wider
MY_MOM: a couple of them i take, the nicer ones
MY_MOM: good pots are very expensive here, plus u have to buy the whole set, just because u need a big one
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the nicer ones
MY_MOM: ((my brother)) just said he doesnt want any
MY_MOM: i guess ((my sis in law)) can get always new ones from singapore
ME: ok
MY_MOM: take care, talk to u later
ME: ok
Hey that's kind of a conversation, right?
ME: what
MY_MOM: u are not very friendly, is everything ok?
ME: i'm fine
MY_MOM: hmmm u dont sound good
MY_MOM: are u sure u are ok?
ME: i'm fine, i had someone at my desk
MY_MOM: k
MY_MOM: u know those pakistani cookpots, they are no good to us with the new stove.... do u want some?
ME: what pots?
MY_MOM: the pots we used for cooking stews
MY_MOM: these are the best pots i ever had, cant get them here, only they are not flat bottomed, so no good now, but good for the other electric stove and a gas stove
ME: sure
MY_MOM: like u dont have any for making stews and meatballs
ME: i have a big stainless steel one, you saw it.
MY_MOM: so whenever we have luggage room we take them down
MY_MOM: not good enough
ME: it worked for me
MY_MOM: stainless steel is good for soups
MY_MOM: they burn the food easily
MY_MOM: plus i like them a bit wider
MY_MOM: a couple of them i take, the nicer ones
MY_MOM: good pots are very expensive here, plus u have to buy the whole set, just because u need a big one
ME: ok
MY_MOM: the nicer ones
MY_MOM: ((my brother)) just said he doesnt want any
MY_MOM: i guess ((my sis in law)) can get always new ones from singapore
ME: ok
MY_MOM: take care, talk to u later
ME: ok
Hey that's kind of a conversation, right?
...without which, I might never be tardy
From Esquire Magazine
13 Things You Don't Know About Women, by Felicity Huffman (I love her, so that's why I'm writing this)
1. It's not really the shoes. It's how they make our legs look. True, except when you're wearing pants...sometimes the shoes themselves are like a work of art.
2. Women also fantasize during sex.
Ohhh 'cause guys would never dream of that happening to them!
3. And sometimes those fantasies are about shoes.
You know, I've never done that, but dang that would make me hot and heavy too.
4. If you want to see us naked more often, turn up the damn thermostat.
SO TRUE!!! I've got a drawer of frilly little things...but what do i end up wearing? A big sweatshirt, track pants, and socks to sleep! If it were up to me I'd have a thousand blankets on the bed.
5. A big dick is a bore if it's attached to a big dick.
True dat!
6. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty.
Yeah so not pretty, it's not really peeing so much as just expelling fluids everywhere. NOT attractive.
7. We can't hear a word yuo're saying if there are hairs coming out of your nose.
8. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up.
EXACTLY!!!
9. Want sex? Fix something.
Yep, i put this under the "the most romantic thing a guy can do is vacuum" category. I'm telling you, it's all about chopping wood...guys getting back to being all manly and stuff....that's what i'm talkin' about!
10. Women want empathy, not advice.
I actually tend to disagree, because I really do want to find solutions to problems, otherwise i tend to just bottle everything up if i know there's no advice that can be given. So...that's a guideline for any guy out there.
11. It's still a man's world, and some of it you can keep.
12. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every 28 days.
I never thought about it that way. YES indeed that is a valid reason for craziness.
13. Some handy translations for men:
"You're working too hard" = "you're not spending enough time with me"
"No presents for my birthday" = "Surprise me!"
"What are you thinking about" = "do you still love me?"
YES YES YES she nailed it! That IS what we mean, and I didn't even know what I meant when i said it, but YES YES YES that's what we mean!
"Do you want to talk about it" = I want to talk about it"
"Fuck you. I can't stand you" = "Fuck you. I can't stand you"
So I was in a weird mood the past few days which caused me to listen to stupid sappy stuff in my car but now i'm OVER that mood (see the "insides falling out every 28 days" comment, above) I'll make the song of the day the king of all sappy ones and be done with it.
The song of the day is Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins
Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh
When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care
Yep, that's the good stuff when you're in a weird sappy bizarre mood.
And i still want that bracelet. THAT's what I want to fantastize about.
Edited to add: dang why did I click on this on the Blogger website?
13 Things You Don't Know About Women, by Felicity Huffman (I love her, so that's why I'm writing this)
1. It's not really the shoes. It's how they make our legs look. True, except when you're wearing pants...sometimes the shoes themselves are like a work of art.
2. Women also fantasize during sex.
Ohhh 'cause guys would never dream of that happening to them!
3. And sometimes those fantasies are about shoes.
You know, I've never done that, but dang that would make me hot and heavy too.
4. If you want to see us naked more often, turn up the damn thermostat.
SO TRUE!!! I've got a drawer of frilly little things...but what do i end up wearing? A big sweatshirt, track pants, and socks to sleep! If it were up to me I'd have a thousand blankets on the bed.
5. A big dick is a bore if it's attached to a big dick.
True dat!
6. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty.
Yeah so not pretty, it's not really peeing so much as just expelling fluids everywhere. NOT attractive.
7. We can't hear a word yuo're saying if there are hairs coming out of your nose.
8. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up.
EXACTLY!!!
9. Want sex? Fix something.
Yep, i put this under the "the most romantic thing a guy can do is vacuum" category. I'm telling you, it's all about chopping wood...guys getting back to being all manly and stuff....that's what i'm talkin' about!
10. Women want empathy, not advice.
I actually tend to disagree, because I really do want to find solutions to problems, otherwise i tend to just bottle everything up if i know there's no advice that can be given. So...that's a guideline for any guy out there.
11. It's still a man's world, and some of it you can keep.
12. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every 28 days.
I never thought about it that way. YES indeed that is a valid reason for craziness.
13. Some handy translations for men:
"You're working too hard" = "you're not spending enough time with me"
"No presents for my birthday" = "Surprise me!"
"What are you thinking about" = "do you still love me?"
YES YES YES she nailed it! That IS what we mean, and I didn't even know what I meant when i said it, but YES YES YES that's what we mean!
"Do you want to talk about it" = I want to talk about it"
"Fuck you. I can't stand you" = "Fuck you. I can't stand you"
So I was in a weird mood the past few days which caused me to listen to stupid sappy stuff in my car but now i'm OVER that mood (see the "insides falling out every 28 days" comment, above) I'll make the song of the day the king of all sappy ones and be done with it.
The song of the day is Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins
Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh
When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care
Yep, that's the good stuff when you're in a weird sappy bizarre mood.
And i still want that bracelet. THAT's what I want to fantastize about.
Edited to add: dang why did I click on this on the Blogger website?
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Quickie Blog...sometimes you just gotta have it quick
Letters to the editor:
I DON'T YELL!!!... and is there a difference if the CPG is Asian? Just wanna know.
Let's review the acronyms briefly:
CFG: Crazy Fun Girl. This is a good thing.
PC:Psycho Chick. Bad thing. BAD THING. Run like mad.
I'm assuming you meant the latter.
Is there a difference? Nope...PC knows no ethnicity, no borders...I dunno, maybe if she's asian she might be a sexy Psycho Chick, but still psycho is psycho and its just a bad scene.
On another note, I thought this was hilarious: Madonna has a MySpace page
And yes it's hers, I got the link from her website.
The song of the day is the song for the Laguna Beach finale commercial, It's Good To Be In Love by Frou Frou
It's good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I'm happy you're in love,
'Cause every colour goes where you do.
(click here to be reminded of the song in case you forgot that wonderful 30 second clip of the commercial...sigh...i'll be so sad when those silly kids grow up!)
Done with the random thought, onto the griping...
1. I hate my exit off the highway...every morning it's a power struggle between the people who want to exit the 5 at Alton vs. the people getting on the highway and trying to get into more lanes...pain in my ass.
2. WTF is wrong with the voting public! ARHGHGHG! I almost beat myself with my own purse while listening to the results on the radio this morning.
3. I can't stand this weather. Yeah, it's like perfect picnic weather. I know. But I don't know what to wear each morning, I have either uber winter clothing or summery crap, and either way I end up spending half my day at work FREEZING or SWEATING BUCKETS...temperature modulation isn't so great.
I think i'm going to buy that Frou Frou CD...it's not my kind of music, although I do dig Enya and it's similar, and I have to go buy that Madonna CD on Tuesday anyway. Now if only I could find my missing OLP and Vanessa Paradis CDs, i'd be set.
I DON'T YELL!!!... and is there a difference if the CPG is Asian? Just wanna know.
Let's review the acronyms briefly:
CFG: Crazy Fun Girl. This is a good thing.
PC:Psycho Chick. Bad thing. BAD THING. Run like mad.
I'm assuming you meant the latter.
Is there a difference? Nope...PC knows no ethnicity, no borders...I dunno, maybe if she's asian she might be a sexy Psycho Chick, but still psycho is psycho and its just a bad scene.
On another note, I thought this was hilarious: Madonna has a MySpace page
And yes it's hers, I got the link from her website.
The song of the day is the song for the Laguna Beach finale commercial, It's Good To Be In Love by Frou Frou
It's good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I'm happy you're in love,
'Cause every colour goes where you do.
(click here to be reminded of the song in case you forgot that wonderful 30 second clip of the commercial...sigh...i'll be so sad when those silly kids grow up!)
Done with the random thought, onto the griping...
1. I hate my exit off the highway...every morning it's a power struggle between the people who want to exit the 5 at Alton vs. the people getting on the highway and trying to get into more lanes...pain in my ass.
2. WTF is wrong with the voting public! ARHGHGHG! I almost beat myself with my own purse while listening to the results on the radio this morning.
3. I can't stand this weather. Yeah, it's like perfect picnic weather. I know. But I don't know what to wear each morning, I have either uber winter clothing or summery crap, and either way I end up spending half my day at work FREEZING or SWEATING BUCKETS...temperature modulation isn't so great.
I think i'm going to buy that Frou Frou CD...it's not my kind of music, although I do dig Enya and it's similar, and I have to go buy that Madonna CD on Tuesday anyway. Now if only I could find my missing OLP and Vanessa Paradis CDs, i'd be set.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Waiting for your call baby night and day
Some news tidbits....
RETURN TO THE ROAD: Madonna may launch a tour in support of her new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which hits stores Nov. 15. The first single, "Hung Up," is heating up the charts and is also being featured in episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY this week.
One week.
One week.
ONE EFFING WEEK.
I've seen her twice in concert, both times I was a little disappointed (I mean, for $100/ticket, I should be!) but this is VERY dance-ish...so she won't sit around playing a stupid effing guitar (Okay, I get it, you learned an intrument. Give the girl a prize. Now put on some cones and dance like a mofo). So I would for SURE go see her again. I love my Madge.
JOCK SHOCKED: Howard Stern receiving a one-day suspension from his morning radio show after he spent much of Monday promoting his move to Sirius Satellite Radio next year. He's due back on air Wednesday.
Yes....YES YES c'mon Howard, keep doing that...because I bought a few Sirius stocks (and i mean, seriously, a FEW...i don't have oodles of cash to blow on stocks when I could buy that gorgeous, gorgeous bracelet) and yesss it went up...thank you Howard!
So after months of discussing the merits of Crazy Fun Girl (which by the way, is even kind of mentioned in the December issue of Glamour, except the girl to the extreme), we do need to mention Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl comes into play after you've been dating for a guy for awhile and you realize you really like him.
I mean, REALLY like him.
This is where you realize that he could possibly leave you, 'cause he's bored with you and the initial 3-month novelty has worn off. So chicks go into extreme psycho mode because they get paranoid. PARANOIA is key here.
Some of the behaviors of Psycho Girl:
- she goes through the guy's wallet in search of other girls' numbers (okay I did this within the first week of being with Kraig, but he moved in right away and always left his wallet around, that's his tough luck for moving in with a chick he barely knew!)
- she suddenly has a fascination with the stupid car he drives...which is psycho if the chick is the type to really not give a crap about cars other than if they get her to work and the A/C functions in summer... (oh many a discussion with Tony over whether a Mustang is a decent car or white trash)
- she listens to his voicemails over and over and over and OVER and over and over and over again, because of course, she's got them saved I suppose in this day and age that would apply to text messages as well...texting wasn't prevalent last time I was single, but I'll just toss that in for benefits sake since some people just don't talk anymore, they text....
- she buys clothes based on whether he'll like her in it. And we're not talking "oh i need a cute outfit for our date"...we're talking looking at clothes she would NOT normallyw ear, colors, whatever, but knowing that it's something HE would like, she buys it knowing that if things don't work out, she'll never wear that top/skirt/outfit ever again. I eventually got rid of the stuff that i bought that i thought kraig would like...i had this one tank top with an anime print on it...the top was cute but it was GREEN, which made me look like i was going to die, but i wanted him SOOO badly to think that i was some hip anime chick wtf....
- She thinks about him on an obsession level. We're talking, keeping Friday/Sat/Sun free just in CASE he calls and says he's free. It's the stuff that Calvin Klein bottles and sells at the perfume counter at Macy's.don't get me started, I could have started a frickin' CLOTHING line when i got to this point....
- She desperately wants to have "the talk" and probably ends up caving, and there's a good chance the guy behaves like a deer in headlights which only fuels the Psycho Chick behavior even more.
- basically Psycho Chick is pretty much a different person from the original girl the guy started dating in the first place
Now keep in mind these are generalizations and yadda yadda, i'm just saying that if you acknowledge the existence/theory of Crazy Fun Girl, then you have to acknowledge Psycho Chick as well. The key is to overcome this, to keep it bottled inside and let her out with your girlfriends, because once you can get past Psycho Chick mode then it's smoooooth sailing into Coupledom....
The song of the day, because it's been in my head, is All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard (yes, again)
I don’t know how to leave you
And I don’t know how to stay
I’ve got things that I must tell you
That I don’t know how to say
Damn, i really want that effing bracelet.
RETURN TO THE ROAD: Madonna may launch a tour in support of her new album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, which hits stores Nov. 15. The first single, "Hung Up," is heating up the charts and is also being featured in episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY this week.
One week.
One week.
ONE EFFING WEEK.
I've seen her twice in concert, both times I was a little disappointed (I mean, for $100/ticket, I should be!) but this is VERY dance-ish...so she won't sit around playing a stupid effing guitar (Okay, I get it, you learned an intrument. Give the girl a prize. Now put on some cones and dance like a mofo). So I would for SURE go see her again. I love my Madge.
JOCK SHOCKED: Howard Stern receiving a one-day suspension from his morning radio show after he spent much of Monday promoting his move to Sirius Satellite Radio next year. He's due back on air Wednesday.
Yes....YES YES c'mon Howard, keep doing that...because I bought a few Sirius stocks (and i mean, seriously, a FEW...i don't have oodles of cash to blow on stocks when I could buy that gorgeous, gorgeous bracelet) and yesss it went up...thank you Howard!
So after months of discussing the merits of Crazy Fun Girl (which by the way, is even kind of mentioned in the December issue of Glamour, except the girl to the extreme), we do need to mention Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl comes into play after you've been dating for a guy for awhile and you realize you really like him.
I mean, REALLY like him.
This is where you realize that he could possibly leave you, 'cause he's bored with you and the initial 3-month novelty has worn off. So chicks go into extreme psycho mode because they get paranoid. PARANOIA is key here.
Some of the behaviors of Psycho Girl:
- she goes through the guy's wallet in search of other girls' numbers (okay I did this within the first week of being with Kraig, but he moved in right away and always left his wallet around, that's his tough luck for moving in with a chick he barely knew!)
- she suddenly has a fascination with the stupid car he drives...which is psycho if the chick is the type to really not give a crap about cars other than if they get her to work and the A/C functions in summer... (oh many a discussion with Tony over whether a Mustang is a decent car or white trash)
- she listens to his voicemails over and over and over and OVER and over and over and over again, because of course, she's got them saved I suppose in this day and age that would apply to text messages as well...texting wasn't prevalent last time I was single, but I'll just toss that in for benefits sake since some people just don't talk anymore, they text....
- she buys clothes based on whether he'll like her in it. And we're not talking "oh i need a cute outfit for our date"...we're talking looking at clothes she would NOT normallyw ear, colors, whatever, but knowing that it's something HE would like, she buys it knowing that if things don't work out, she'll never wear that top/skirt/outfit ever again. I eventually got rid of the stuff that i bought that i thought kraig would like...i had this one tank top with an anime print on it...the top was cute but it was GREEN, which made me look like i was going to die, but i wanted him SOOO badly to think that i was some hip anime chick wtf....
- She thinks about him on an obsession level. We're talking, keeping Friday/Sat/Sun free just in CASE he calls and says he's free. It's the stuff that Calvin Klein bottles and sells at the perfume counter at Macy's.don't get me started, I could have started a frickin' CLOTHING line when i got to this point....
- She desperately wants to have "the talk" and probably ends up caving, and there's a good chance the guy behaves like a deer in headlights which only fuels the Psycho Chick behavior even more.
- basically Psycho Chick is pretty much a different person from the original girl the guy started dating in the first place
Now keep in mind these are generalizations and yadda yadda, i'm just saying that if you acknowledge the existence/theory of Crazy Fun Girl, then you have to acknowledge Psycho Chick as well. The key is to overcome this, to keep it bottled inside and let her out with your girlfriends, because once you can get past Psycho Chick mode then it's smoooooth sailing into Coupledom....
The song of the day, because it's been in my head, is All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard (yes, again)
I don’t know how to leave you
And I don’t know how to stay
I’ve got things that I must tell you
That I don’t know how to say
Damn, i really want that effing bracelet.
IM with my mom
MY_MOM: hi
MY_MOM: whats up
MY_MOM: how are the cats and kraig?
ME: fine
MY_MOM: not much to say
ME: nope
MY_MOM: whats new
ME: Nothing. My car needs to be fixed...that's pretty much it.
MY_MOM: car repair, i hate that
ME: yup. the wheel alignment is off. Every time I go in, it costs me $2000 for something.
MY_MOM: wheel alignment shouldnt be that much?
ME: Yeah but soemthing always ends up being needed to be fixed.
MY_MOM: we are lucky, dad know's a pakistani car mechanic who repairs our cars at home and is much cheaper
MY_MOM: thats how we can afford keeping 2 old cars
MY_MOM: but our cars dont make that much trouble to be honest
ME: ok
MY_MOM: u have to be careful, often those car mechanics tell u something needs fixed and it doesnt
ME: ok
MY_MOM: i dont trust those car mechanics, can. tire is notorious
ME: yup
MY_MOM: so make sure u got one u can trust?
ME: ok
MY_MOM: can u trust your car mechanic?
ME: i think so
MY_MOM: same with kraigs car, its fairly new, he should go to the dealer and complain
MY_MOM: often if the warranty has run out, they might be able to fix it and put it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: happened to trudi's son. he bought the same car as kraig, engine problem or something and they somehow fixed it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: if u buy a new car, there's a complaint, go right to the boss
MY_MOM: i had to do that often with the toyota
ME: ok
MY_MOM: always go right to the top with anything, dont even bother with the manager
MY_MOM: i do that now all the time
MY_MOM: and it works
ME: ok
MY_MOM: like sales people and managers always try to talk u out of something
ME: ok
MY_MOM: since i worked in walmart, i know, complain right at the topME: ok
NOte: my mom worked at Woolco, which later got bought out by Walmart...in case anyone cares
MY_MOM: hehe ok
MY_MOM: c u later, dont work to hard
ME: ok
MY_MOM: whats up
MY_MOM: how are the cats and kraig?
ME: fine
MY_MOM: not much to say
ME: nope
MY_MOM: whats new
ME: Nothing. My car needs to be fixed...that's pretty much it.
MY_MOM: car repair, i hate that
ME: yup. the wheel alignment is off. Every time I go in, it costs me $2000 for something.
MY_MOM: wheel alignment shouldnt be that much?
ME: Yeah but soemthing always ends up being needed to be fixed.
MY_MOM: we are lucky, dad know's a pakistani car mechanic who repairs our cars at home and is much cheaper
MY_MOM: thats how we can afford keeping 2 old cars
MY_MOM: but our cars dont make that much trouble to be honest
ME: ok
MY_MOM: u have to be careful, often those car mechanics tell u something needs fixed and it doesnt
ME: ok
MY_MOM: i dont trust those car mechanics, can. tire is notorious
ME: yup
MY_MOM: so make sure u got one u can trust?
ME: ok
MY_MOM: can u trust your car mechanic?
ME: i think so
MY_MOM: same with kraigs car, its fairly new, he should go to the dealer and complain
MY_MOM: often if the warranty has run out, they might be able to fix it and put it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: happened to trudi's son. he bought the same car as kraig, engine problem or something and they somehow fixed it on the warranty
ME: ok
MY_MOM: if u buy a new car, there's a complaint, go right to the boss
MY_MOM: i had to do that often with the toyota
ME: ok
MY_MOM: always go right to the top with anything, dont even bother with the manager
MY_MOM: i do that now all the time
MY_MOM: and it works
ME: ok
MY_MOM: like sales people and managers always try to talk u out of something
ME: ok
MY_MOM: since i worked in walmart, i know, complain right at the topME: ok
NOte: my mom worked at Woolco, which later got bought out by Walmart...in case anyone cares
MY_MOM: hehe ok
MY_MOM: c u later, dont work to hard
ME: ok
Monday, November 07, 2005
Ungruent Vessels
Give the girl a prize, she finally got off her ass and tweaked the image links so that the left menu isn't all jacked up.
My brain is too effed up for words today...serious exhaustion...i'm missing the KEY papers i need for my ring insurance, wtf i kept everything in this big bag thing and of course the appraisal, plus the signed ins. papers, are the two things i can't find. WTF. I'm flipping out.
I need to take this week to get re-organized, i'm the QUEEN of organization and I've just been a flippin' mess lately.
So that's my random thought and gripe. I'm griping about my effing BRAIN. Suck it.
The song for today is Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have ....
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
In other quick news...
Friday: dinner was fun, and uh good to know that little boys call stuff "those ball thingies" with swimmers and divers...poor Logan is worried it's going to hurt when those swimmers and divers come out!
Saturday: got up insanely early for that King Tut thing...i'll be honest with you, after like 10 minutes it was sensory overload...once you've seen one fancy egyption container used to hold a liver, you've seen them all! Plus I also realized that kids are way smarter than adults. Like take Nicole D's nephew, Jake...he was all "oh is that Isis?" and she's like "no, but good guess"...i would have either said "yeah...YEAH that's the ticket..." or "No, it's captain crunch!"...at least kids are like sponges when it comes to learning.
Went for lunch , went to the gym, got ready, went out with Nicole and John...there was this CRAZY LOUD wedding reception going on which was a crack up because the music was so horrible...i can't begin to explain how horrible...and it just got worse and worse...
Sunday: woke up at an ungodly hour to meet up with Carrie and volunteer...karma points badly needed. Unfortuantely being that sleep deprived doesn't help when you have to go to Walmart and Target, i have no idea what i bought but i'm sure i need to return whatever it is. Had some of the girls over later for good ol' DH...
Which brings us to some TV summaries...
My Fair Brady Okay i don't know WHY i'm so effing emotional, but when Chris proposed to her, i actually got all teary eyed...NO ONE should get teary eyed at that show! But it was beautiful, and you could tell she loved him SO MUCH and her heart was breaking when she thought he was breaking up with her...fabulous fabulous stuff. Good job VH1...fine holiday faire.
OC Stefanie, if you haven't watched it yet, skip this paragraph...i had recorded it but I didn't get to see it until last night...wtf like we didn't know Ryan would come back...but the previous for NEXT week look fantastic. Marissa is SUCH a whore...just pick a guy and stick with him, geezus.
Simpsons Holiday Special I had actually seen the beginning at Comic Con during the Simpsons panel, so iw as like "wtf didn't I see this? Ohhh yeahhh...."...nothing really to say except that i thought comic book guy's Nerds Do It Rarely tshirt was effing hilarious, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Well okay it was probably earlier that day when I caught a clip of Chris Rock on tv.
Desperate Housewives: will they start showing Gabby's pregnancy already?! As if her pseudo-hot lawyer would sweep her away when she's PREGNANT...that's the number one guy repellent. When i grow up, I want to be Lynette....and I love that creepy virgin pharmacy guy played emotional blackmail to Bree. As for Susan...my GOD that's an annoying character. They should knock her off and put Edie in her place.
And we've all agreed...if any of us throw our wedding bands in our husband's grave, we are SO jumping in after it!
Other random, random thoughts:
1. All i want for Festivus (aka Chrisma-Hana-Kwanzaa-Kah) is a new vacuum. I'm not kidding. I was excited because I bought a new ironing board yesterday. But a new vacuum...wow. I love my old one, it's a super fancy Kenmore that I got for cheap because they were out of the cheap models so they gave me the expensive one for the cheap price. But i think it's just showing it's age, and I want to splurge on a Dyson one (not because of the dude's fancy accent...but it got the best rating in Consumer's Reports, although it wasn't a Best Buy because of it's price).
2. If i don't go to the gym Today, Tomorrow, and Wednesday, I owe the first person who asks me the next morning $100.
3. Yes i know i need to do a spell check and typo fix on this blog entry...suck it.
4. I want poutine like a mothereffer. I'll settle for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Neither of which I can get here.
5. I need to find that jewelry insurance crap, my insurance is expiring soon
6. I really, really, REALLY want that bracelet. But people who want $600 vacuums don't get to beg for $2000 bracelets.
7. I don't have an item seven. I typed it in, and then sat here, and then just decided to wrap up this effing blog and i'm in a cranky mood and i need a NAP.
Edited to add: YESSSS found the jewelry insurance paperwork. SWEET. The day is getting better already. Now if only I could figure out how to sleep with my eyes open, I'd be set.
My brain is too effed up for words today...serious exhaustion...i'm missing the KEY papers i need for my ring insurance, wtf i kept everything in this big bag thing and of course the appraisal, plus the signed ins. papers, are the two things i can't find. WTF. I'm flipping out.
I need to take this week to get re-organized, i'm the QUEEN of organization and I've just been a flippin' mess lately.
So that's my random thought and gripe. I'm griping about my effing BRAIN. Suck it.
The song for today is Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard
Have you ever needed someone so bad
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have ....
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you
In other quick news...
Friday: dinner was fun, and uh good to know that little boys call stuff "those ball thingies" with swimmers and divers...poor Logan is worried it's going to hurt when those swimmers and divers come out!
Saturday: got up insanely early for that King Tut thing...i'll be honest with you, after like 10 minutes it was sensory overload...once you've seen one fancy egyption container used to hold a liver, you've seen them all! Plus I also realized that kids are way smarter than adults. Like take Nicole D's nephew, Jake...he was all "oh is that Isis?" and she's like "no, but good guess"...i would have either said "yeah...YEAH that's the ticket..." or "No, it's captain crunch!"...at least kids are like sponges when it comes to learning.
Went for lunch , went to the gym, got ready, went out with Nicole and John...there was this CRAZY LOUD wedding reception going on which was a crack up because the music was so horrible...i can't begin to explain how horrible...and it just got worse and worse...
Sunday: woke up at an ungodly hour to meet up with Carrie and volunteer...karma points badly needed. Unfortuantely being that sleep deprived doesn't help when you have to go to Walmart and Target, i have no idea what i bought but i'm sure i need to return whatever it is. Had some of the girls over later for good ol' DH...
Which brings us to some TV summaries...
My Fair Brady Okay i don't know WHY i'm so effing emotional, but when Chris proposed to her, i actually got all teary eyed...NO ONE should get teary eyed at that show! But it was beautiful, and you could tell she loved him SO MUCH and her heart was breaking when she thought he was breaking up with her...fabulous fabulous stuff. Good job VH1...fine holiday faire.
OC Stefanie, if you haven't watched it yet, skip this paragraph...i had recorded it but I didn't get to see it until last night...wtf like we didn't know Ryan would come back...but the previous for NEXT week look fantastic. Marissa is SUCH a whore...just pick a guy and stick with him, geezus.
Simpsons Holiday Special I had actually seen the beginning at Comic Con during the Simpsons panel, so iw as like "wtf didn't I see this? Ohhh yeahhh...."...nothing really to say except that i thought comic book guy's Nerds Do It Rarely tshirt was effing hilarious, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Well okay it was probably earlier that day when I caught a clip of Chris Rock on tv.
Desperate Housewives: will they start showing Gabby's pregnancy already?! As if her pseudo-hot lawyer would sweep her away when she's PREGNANT...that's the number one guy repellent. When i grow up, I want to be Lynette....and I love that creepy virgin pharmacy guy played emotional blackmail to Bree. As for Susan...my GOD that's an annoying character. They should knock her off and put Edie in her place.
And we've all agreed...if any of us throw our wedding bands in our husband's grave, we are SO jumping in after it!
Other random, random thoughts:
1. All i want for Festivus (aka Chrisma-Hana-Kwanzaa-Kah) is a new vacuum. I'm not kidding. I was excited because I bought a new ironing board yesterday. But a new vacuum...wow. I love my old one, it's a super fancy Kenmore that I got for cheap because they were out of the cheap models so they gave me the expensive one for the cheap price. But i think it's just showing it's age, and I want to splurge on a Dyson one (not because of the dude's fancy accent...but it got the best rating in Consumer's Reports, although it wasn't a Best Buy because of it's price).
2. If i don't go to the gym Today, Tomorrow, and Wednesday, I owe the first person who asks me the next morning $100.
3. Yes i know i need to do a spell check and typo fix on this blog entry...suck it.
4. I want poutine like a mothereffer. I'll settle for Dunkin' Doughnuts. Neither of which I can get here.
5. I need to find that jewelry insurance crap, my insurance is expiring soon
6. I really, really, REALLY want that bracelet. But people who want $600 vacuums don't get to beg for $2000 bracelets.
7. I don't have an item seven. I typed it in, and then sat here, and then just decided to wrap up this effing blog and i'm in a cranky mood and i need a NAP.
Edited to add: YESSSS found the jewelry insurance paperwork. SWEET. The day is getting better already. Now if only I could figure out how to sleep with my eyes open, I'd be set.
Friday, November 04, 2005
I'll show you my blog if you show me yours
I heard a song last night that I wanted as the song of the day, and then I totally forgot what it was so...no song of the day. Suck it.
Since this is random throughts and gripes, i thought I'd spend today with some SERIOUS random thoughts and perhaps little griping.
Friday Five
1. What are you most self-conscious about?
Ugh, everything! My gut, my face, my ability to stutter when I'm even mildly nervous, my Canadian accent....
2. What's your favourite word?
Just a single word? Hmm...EDUMACATION. Expressions? SUCK IT...WTF...MOTHER EFFER....
3. What's your biggest fear?
Of not having enough money, of being homeless
4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?
When i started working in OC, our contractor told me that he knew an old coworker of mine...and that he got a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! He even had pics. That was pretty random. Especially since my old coworker's name was Dick (Richard)...
5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?
The anti-revolution society. I'm a creature of habit. Don't change stuff on me.
1. Do you have a dream you will always strive to achieve until your dying day?
Nope, i'm unambitious like that. Well, I'm dying to visit Italy...but that's not something you strive for, but that's something I think i'll always regret not doing.
2. Do you believe in fate or free will, or something else?
Can't you believe in both?
3. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?Tragic accident.
4. Favourite childhood sweets/candy?
Coffee Crisp...Mr. Big....Sweet Tarts....those candy ring things. Everything tart.
5. Favourite cocktail (alcoholic or virgin) and it's ingredients?
Virgin: shirley temple. Alcoholic....can't think of anything although i'm craving a Blue Lagoon (lemonade, blue curacao and no idea what else).
Some seriously random, random thoughts:
- I love my grey plaid Lion King boxer shorts. This is probably the number one cause for argument in my marriage. Kraig HATES those boxers. I bought them when Lion King was still in the theaters. They're sooo not attractive, but when I come home from work I RUN straight upstairs to throw them on...Why don't guys get it, that 99% of the time we're pinched and prodded and wearing uncomfy shoes and underwire and heavy dangly hoop earrings (WWJ.Lo.D!!), at the end of the day you want to peel off everything and go with the Lion King grey ugly boxers.
Mmm mmm good.
- I'm really disturbed that no one has invented teleportation yet. I'm blown away with some of the technology we DO have...Cell phones, cars who's radios get louder when you accelerate, Tamagotchi....you'd think someone would put down their PSP and invent something that I need so badly. I don't mind flying but I do hate the act of getting to the airport...I would even settle for just teleporting to the airport...is that too much to ask?!
- I can't get that gorgeous, gorgeous diamond bracelet out of my mind. It's so gorgeous. I mean, really, if I looked in the mirror and saw that as my reflection, i'd be happy.
- I love the look of the colored VAIOs. I have an allegiance with HP but I had a VAIO for one of my jobs and it was the most fabulous laptop, I was retarded for not having bought it from the company after they folded. I think i'd get the blue or the green one. I know, that makes me sound like a chick to want a laptop for it's color (hello colored iBook) but I've used that laptop before so I'm not a dumb computer illiterate chick (although i'm willing to admit i know jack about hardware, i know more about software sheeat) .
- this is one boring, boring blog.
- I can't get Jay Z out of my head.
- I finally have my Optometrist appointment today...my eyes are killing me. I've been wearing the same contacts for 3 weeks and my right eye has a lens that's prescribed for my left eye...My eyes are so effed up right now! And yes, I'll finally splurge on new glasses since I guess mine were a little crazy outdated (hmmmm I got them back in...1996? 1997?)
Note to self: for all the talk I do about Crazy Fun Girl (and WWJD!)...I'm gonna write a blog in the near future about Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl is what you get after CFG goes away...the one that leaves the guy going "what?! Who?! Where's that cool sexy chick I was dating?" but he's already hooked on you while you're secretly going through his wallet every chance you get to make sure there's no other chick's phone number in there.
Yeah. Psycho Girl. Life's a bitch when you're a guy.
Since this is random throughts and gripes, i thought I'd spend today with some SERIOUS random thoughts and perhaps little griping.
Friday Five
1. What are you most self-conscious about?
Ugh, everything! My gut, my face, my ability to stutter when I'm even mildly nervous, my Canadian accent....
2. What's your favourite word?
Just a single word? Hmm...EDUMACATION. Expressions? SUCK IT...WTF...MOTHER EFFER....
3. What's your biggest fear?
Of not having enough money, of being homeless
4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?
When i started working in OC, our contractor told me that he knew an old coworker of mine...and that he got a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! He even had pics. That was pretty random. Especially since my old coworker's name was Dick (Richard)...
5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?
The anti-revolution society. I'm a creature of habit. Don't change stuff on me.
1. Do you have a dream you will always strive to achieve until your dying day?
Nope, i'm unambitious like that. Well, I'm dying to visit Italy...but that's not something you strive for, but that's something I think i'll always regret not doing.
2. Do you believe in fate or free will, or something else?
Can't you believe in both?
3. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?Tragic accident.
4. Favourite childhood sweets/candy?
Coffee Crisp...Mr. Big....Sweet Tarts....those candy ring things. Everything tart.
5. Favourite cocktail (alcoholic or virgin) and it's ingredients?
Virgin: shirley temple. Alcoholic....can't think of anything although i'm craving a Blue Lagoon (lemonade, blue curacao and no idea what else).
Some seriously random, random thoughts:
- I love my grey plaid Lion King boxer shorts. This is probably the number one cause for argument in my marriage. Kraig HATES those boxers. I bought them when Lion King was still in the theaters. They're sooo not attractive, but when I come home from work I RUN straight upstairs to throw them on...Why don't guys get it, that 99% of the time we're pinched and prodded and wearing uncomfy shoes and underwire and heavy dangly hoop earrings (WWJ.Lo.D!!), at the end of the day you want to peel off everything and go with the Lion King grey ugly boxers.
Mmm mmm good.
- I'm really disturbed that no one has invented teleportation yet. I'm blown away with some of the technology we DO have...Cell phones, cars who's radios get louder when you accelerate, Tamagotchi....you'd think someone would put down their PSP and invent something that I need so badly. I don't mind flying but I do hate the act of getting to the airport...I would even settle for just teleporting to the airport...is that too much to ask?!
- I can't get that gorgeous, gorgeous diamond bracelet out of my mind. It's so gorgeous. I mean, really, if I looked in the mirror and saw that as my reflection, i'd be happy.
- I love the look of the colored VAIOs. I have an allegiance with HP but I had a VAIO for one of my jobs and it was the most fabulous laptop, I was retarded for not having bought it from the company after they folded. I think i'd get the blue or the green one. I know, that makes me sound like a chick to want a laptop for it's color (hello colored iBook) but I've used that laptop before so I'm not a dumb computer illiterate chick (although i'm willing to admit i know jack about hardware, i know more about software sheeat) .
- this is one boring, boring blog.
- I can't get Jay Z out of my head.
- I finally have my Optometrist appointment today...my eyes are killing me. I've been wearing the same contacts for 3 weeks and my right eye has a lens that's prescribed for my left eye...My eyes are so effed up right now! And yes, I'll finally splurge on new glasses since I guess mine were a little crazy outdated (hmmmm I got them back in...1996? 1997?)
Note to self: for all the talk I do about Crazy Fun Girl (and WWJD!)...I'm gonna write a blog in the near future about Psycho Girl.
Psycho Girl is what you get after CFG goes away...the one that leaves the guy going "what?! Who?! Where's that cool sexy chick I was dating?" but he's already hooked on you while you're secretly going through his wallet every chance you get to make sure there's no other chick's phone number in there.
Yeah. Psycho Girl. Life's a bitch when you're a guy.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Black, diamonds, and elegance
Random, random thoughts....
I love this tshirt, but i would only get it if i knew the small was well-fitted (otherwise i look all weird in guyish shirts):
And of course:
HA i wish I could give an old coworker this shirt:
He was journalism major but soemhow went straight from that to being the senior Tech Writer (Tony, you know who i'm talking about!), he didn't know ANYTHING about computers...and he had this thing that he was going to MEMERIZE binary numbers.
I was like "dude, there's a system, blah blah" like showing him how you calculate it by hand for a big number, but he really just wanted to memerize like 0 to 100 in binary notation which is so retarded, there's only 2 characters, if you need it for a user guide or something (which he didn't) then just convert the number as it comes up...
Whatever.
I didn't watch America's Next Top Model last night, I didn't watch Lost (I have no idea if they're still in reruns)...
So now, onto the actual subjects at hand: Black, Diamonds, and Elegance.
I never understood why people can say "black" is their favorite color. It's like, white is no color and black is ALL the colors...those aren't even options as far as i'm concerned (it's not like it's on the color spectrum thingy....)..
That being said, i think I officially think black is my new favorite color.
It used to be blood red...then purple (it's the color of royalty!), and then i realized in my later 20s that I look good in baby blue and baby pink (well...not good...just not as bad as normal)...but now, black is where's it baby.
The thing with black is that you can't really wear it when you're a baby of course...and then as a teen if you wear all black you look super goth, not just for the color but also because if your mom was like mine she got fed up of your laundry piling up and she'd do it for you which meant hot water to everything with crappy detergent (I used to hand wash my stuff in Woolite) and then it would get nasty faded to grey....
So at least now I can pull off black and appreciate that it's an all-over body slimmer....and you can dress like CRAP but if it's black, people think you're dressing up.
/black stuff.
As for diamonds....
I went to the jeweler (Petra's in the Kaleidoscope in case anyone cares) a few times this week because I had to get my ring appraisal re-done in order for my insurance renewal. I went in with my GIA paperwork (my diamond is laser-inscribed with a VIN-like number, so my diamond can be traced anywhere) and the old appraisal.
The dude spent an HOUR looking for the GIA inscription.
He used THREE different tools.
I was in hysterics. I mean, the lump in my throat was insane. I didn't know what to do...what if they put the wrong diamond in? Do i sue the old jewelry store that Kraig bought the ring from? Is there a statue of limitations? Would they think I secretly changed the stones?
I felt like the past 2.5 years of my marriage was a sham, like imagine if you found out that your marriage license was invalid and you were really not married...you'd feel like were so deceived. And here I thought I knew my diamond so well.
Anyway eventually he found the final digit, the other numbers were hidden under a prong. When i went yesterday to drop off my "real" engagement ring (Kraig proposed to me with his mother's ring but i never wear it because I never insured it) for appraisal, I was delighted to find out that my stone has gone up in value, which brings the overall value up by $900...that at least compensated for the stress I felt the day before!
My point is not about my rings...and the emotional drama...but that the whole time I had been waiting, I kept eyeing this bracelet.
It's gorgeous.
It's price tag said $4000.
It's gorgeous.
People like me don't get nice things like that...not AS nice as that.
The jeweler then tells me it's $2000.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to sell a kidney to buy that bracelet. I could CRY, i want that bracelet so bad. But i just can't justify it, heck we need a grownup bedroom set, we need to redo the master bathroom, i need to get a ton of work done on my car....
But it's beautiful. Taken with my cameraphone (and yes, i know i look like i've got man-wrists in this picture, bite me):
Sigh. Well at least i'll always have my $15 Aldo faux diamond ring.
/diamond rant
Elegance...
That's my new year's resolution.
I want to be a grownup
I want to be elegant
And i want to be refined.
Okay well refined is pushing it, but elegant. I want to stop walking into rooms and tripping over myself.
I want to stop dropping things.
I want to stop fidgeting when i'm nervous (how many pieces of paper can someone shred at dinner?)
I want to stop looking like a little kid in a room full of adults.
SOOOO...that's my resolution.
Refinery.
Much like sugar.
/elegance rant
The song for the day is I remember you by Skid Row
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
(It was on the radio last night, i LOVE Skid Row! ANd yeah, if that makes me white trash...suck it).
In other news, I'm disgruntled, so I better just shut up before I get myself in trouble.
I love this tshirt, but i would only get it if i knew the small was well-fitted (otherwise i look all weird in guyish shirts):
And of course:
HA i wish I could give an old coworker this shirt:
He was journalism major but soemhow went straight from that to being the senior Tech Writer (Tony, you know who i'm talking about!), he didn't know ANYTHING about computers...and he had this thing that he was going to MEMERIZE binary numbers.
I was like "dude, there's a system, blah blah" like showing him how you calculate it by hand for a big number, but he really just wanted to memerize like 0 to 100 in binary notation which is so retarded, there's only 2 characters, if you need it for a user guide or something (which he didn't) then just convert the number as it comes up...
Whatever.
I didn't watch America's Next Top Model last night, I didn't watch Lost (I have no idea if they're still in reruns)...
So now, onto the actual subjects at hand: Black, Diamonds, and Elegance.
I never understood why people can say "black" is their favorite color. It's like, white is no color and black is ALL the colors...those aren't even options as far as i'm concerned (it's not like it's on the color spectrum thingy....)..
That being said, i think I officially think black is my new favorite color.
It used to be blood red...then purple (it's the color of royalty!), and then i realized in my later 20s that I look good in baby blue and baby pink (well...not good...just not as bad as normal)...but now, black is where's it baby.
The thing with black is that you can't really wear it when you're a baby of course...and then as a teen if you wear all black you look super goth, not just for the color but also because if your mom was like mine she got fed up of your laundry piling up and she'd do it for you which meant hot water to everything with crappy detergent (I used to hand wash my stuff in Woolite) and then it would get nasty faded to grey....
So at least now I can pull off black and appreciate that it's an all-over body slimmer....and you can dress like CRAP but if it's black, people think you're dressing up.
/black stuff.
As for diamonds....
I went to the jeweler (Petra's in the Kaleidoscope in case anyone cares) a few times this week because I had to get my ring appraisal re-done in order for my insurance renewal. I went in with my GIA paperwork (my diamond is laser-inscribed with a VIN-like number, so my diamond can be traced anywhere) and the old appraisal.
The dude spent an HOUR looking for the GIA inscription.
He used THREE different tools.
I was in hysterics. I mean, the lump in my throat was insane. I didn't know what to do...what if they put the wrong diamond in? Do i sue the old jewelry store that Kraig bought the ring from? Is there a statue of limitations? Would they think I secretly changed the stones?
I felt like the past 2.5 years of my marriage was a sham, like imagine if you found out that your marriage license was invalid and you were really not married...you'd feel like were so deceived. And here I thought I knew my diamond so well.
Anyway eventually he found the final digit, the other numbers were hidden under a prong. When i went yesterday to drop off my "real" engagement ring (Kraig proposed to me with his mother's ring but i never wear it because I never insured it) for appraisal, I was delighted to find out that my stone has gone up in value, which brings the overall value up by $900...that at least compensated for the stress I felt the day before!
My point is not about my rings...and the emotional drama...but that the whole time I had been waiting, I kept eyeing this bracelet.
It's gorgeous.
It's price tag said $4000.
It's gorgeous.
People like me don't get nice things like that...not AS nice as that.
The jeweler then tells me it's $2000.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to sell a kidney to buy that bracelet. I could CRY, i want that bracelet so bad. But i just can't justify it, heck we need a grownup bedroom set, we need to redo the master bathroom, i need to get a ton of work done on my car....
But it's beautiful. Taken with my cameraphone (and yes, i know i look like i've got man-wrists in this picture, bite me):
Sigh. Well at least i'll always have my $15 Aldo faux diamond ring.
/diamond rant
Elegance...
That's my new year's resolution.
I want to be a grownup
I want to be elegant
And i want to be refined.
Okay well refined is pushing it, but elegant. I want to stop walking into rooms and tripping over myself.
I want to stop dropping things.
I want to stop fidgeting when i'm nervous (how many pieces of paper can someone shred at dinner?)
I want to stop looking like a little kid in a room full of adults.
SOOOO...that's my resolution.
Refinery.
Much like sugar.
/elegance rant
The song for the day is I remember you by Skid Row
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
(It was on the radio last night, i LOVE Skid Row! ANd yeah, if that makes me white trash...suck it).
In other news, I'm disgruntled, so I better just shut up before I get myself in trouble.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Anticipation is killing me
If you figure this day is over
14 days till...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The new Madonna album...
There's only so often I can listen to it off her website (at least it's better quality than all the video downloads i've got)...
I fully intend on being a big loser the night i get it by popping it in my CD player and dancing around my house by myself...well and the cats...
OMG this song is so effing fabulous, it's been AGES since I heard a song this fantabulous.
It's mind blowingly good.
If the rest of the album blows, i'm going to write a letter to my congressman in protest.
14 days till...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The new Madonna album...
There's only so often I can listen to it off her website (at least it's better quality than all the video downloads i've got)...
I fully intend on being a big loser the night i get it by popping it in my CD player and dancing around my house by myself...well and the cats...
OMG this song is so effing fabulous, it's been AGES since I heard a song this fantabulous.
It's mind blowingly good.
If the rest of the album blows, i'm going to write a letter to my congressman in protest.
Le blog indeed
The New Rules from Bill Maher that I absolutely agree with:
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar.What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.I swear, this is the one thing that pisses me off. I don't go to Starbucks, but in general...especially when people have like 10 kids with them and they get all "okay honey...so...what do you want"...geezus let them pick in advance, and if they're indecisive then do what my parents did: you'll eat it and you'll like it
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place I kid you not, this one kills me. it's SO TRUE on so many effing levels. Half the times i'm like "uh...so...a year and a half?" when they give me the age...for eff's sakes i don't care enough about your kid to know down to the wire!
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar.What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.I swear, this is the one thing that pisses me off. I don't go to Starbucks, but in general...especially when people have like 10 kids with them and they get all "okay honey...so...what do you want"...geezus let them pick in advance, and if they're indecisive then do what my parents did: you'll eat it and you'll like it
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place I kid you not, this one kills me. it's SO TRUE on so many effing levels. Half the times i'm like "uh...so...a year and a half?" when they give me the age...for eff's sakes i don't care enough about your kid to know down to the wire!
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